Adora ran around her kitchen, grabbing a banana and trying to get her stuff together for school. "Catra! Let's go!" Adora yelled to the living room. She heard Catra groan from the couch and looked in on her. Clothes littered the floor and Catra laid half asleep, her shoes still on. "Let's go," Adora repeated, stomping in and shaking Catra's foot. Catra swatted at her.

"I'm not going," Catra mumbled, turning away from her.

"Yes, you are," Adora felt a headache pulling at her forehead. She looked up and met her own eyes in the living room mirror. She looked young. 17 to be exact. 1 year before she left. Her face looked thin. Adora's heart sank. She turned to watch her mother walk knowingly down the hall, ignoring both girls and walking zombie like into the kitchen. "Mom! Can you please tell Catra she needs to go to school?" Adora asked. Her mother nodded without turning her head. Adora sighed.

"Fine. You don't want to go to school? Neither will I," Adora crossed her arms and planted herself on the couch, pushing Catra's feet off to make room. Catra looked up at her, annoyed. Angella turned to them, sipping on her coffee.

"Both of you need to go to school," Angella nodded softly before walking back up the hallway and closing her door behind her. Adora sighed.

"Always so much help," Adora mumbled to herself. She hated that these days played in her head so often. Memories of Angella falling into patterns of sadness so deep she was barely there and Catra so focused on her own demise that she didn't care who went down with her.

"You heard her," Catra wiggled her foot at Adora, "Get going." Catra raised her eyebrows at Adora.

"Can you please just make this easy for me? For one day?" Adora felt the exhaustion in her soul. She knew Catra wouldn't give. She didn't. Instead, she sat up and put her face nice and close to Adora's.

"Don't you get tired of being so perfect?" Catra whispered. She took a finger and wiggled it at Adora. "Come on. I have some ideas for a day off." Adora smiled as the dream slipped to their ultimate beach day with Catra laid out next to her in one of Adora's bikinis. Adora, wore a one piece with shorts on. Catra didn't say a thing. Adora wished she could actually feel the sun again. This day had been good. Catra was in good spirits at the time and the two were getting along. Adora reached for Catra to take her hand but she knew that's not how this went. She waited patiently. "Did you want me then?" Dream Catra asked. Adora looked at her confused. This was not something they had discussed that day.

"Did I… want you?"

"Yes."

"Yes," Adora said definitively, knowing now something she didn't know then. Catra didn't seem to hear her.

"Hm," Catra whispered quietly. Adora went to reach for her again but Catra moved away, unphased. "If only that were true. Maybe things could've been different."

"We're together now," Adora pleaded, "things are different."

"But you don't fit," Catra shrugged and gave Adora a face of apology like she had just told her they were out of cookies and not that their relationship was doomed, "You're too late," Catra continued. Adora reminded herself this was a dream. She sat up and looked at Catra, begging her to do what she actually did that day. Dream Catra gave her a grin and crawled over to her leaning towards her so she was inches from Adora's face. Her eyes briefly grazed Adora's lips but settled with meeting her eyes. Her hand gently touched at the edge of Adora's and Adora pulled back. Catra pulled back instantly, turning away. "How's Bow?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen him in a few days. I've been busy with you," Adora smiled jokingly. This time she reached out a hand, unsure why she had pulled away at all. Catra ignored her.

"Sorry for being such an inconvenience to you."

"No one said that," Adora scooted herself into the sand beside Catra and leaned her head against Catra's shoulder. Catra huffed but leaned her head gently on top of Adora's. She swore she could feel Catra smelling her hair and felt goosebumps travel down her arms but then Catra was roughly pushing her off and moving back to her towel.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Catra," Adora started, but Catra cut her off with a curt laugh.

"You know when we stopped grief support, I thought I'd be done with this," Catra glared at her and got up, packing up her things. Adora didn't want to play out the rest of this day and closed her eyes tightly.

When she opened them, it was nighttime and Catra was being pushed into the back of a cop car. Angella was standing next to Adora watching Catra be taken. She looked furious. Adora sighed. She remembered the school calling her mother and Angella calling Adora excessively. Adora had ignored the calls but welcomed Angella's emotion. She was just thankful her mother had called at all. The memory of her and Catra leaving the beach and racing down the street came back to her instantly. They had started to make their way back home and Catra stopped at a gas station. Adora had followed her in, playing cover to Catra's swiping hands.

Catra had become a very good shoplifter but today she didn't seem to care at all. It was like she wanted to get caught and Adora often wondered if that was the truth. Adora had tried to cover for her when they called the cops but then Angella was there and getting her daughter out of trouble. Catra gave her a soft smile as she slid into the police car.

"Why would you do this?! Who are you?!" Angella's voice rang out.

Adora ignored her. What did it matter anyways? She knew the horrible things she had said to her mother. So, she just turned and watched Angella's expression turn to shock, as a deeper realization must have set in.

"You're not to see that girl anymore," Angella said firmly.

"Dad would've understood," Adora said, shaking her head.

"Dad would've understood why his only daughter was running around town skipping school and having the cops called on her?"

"He would have understood what it means to take care of someone when they need it," Adora said angrily. Don't say it Don't say it Don't, "Unlike you," Adora finished. Angella went quiet, her eyes soft and sad. Adora wanted to hold her and apologize a million times over. Angella had never kicked Catra out, but Catra only sporadically stayed with them after that. Where she stayed the other nights, Catra wouldn't share, although Adora was sure Bow's family had accepted her in.

The dream faded away and Adora found herself seated on Bow's family doorstep, his hand was on top of hers and they leaned back, relaxed. Adora looked to him, seated beside her. He was talking about something, maybe drumming, Adora couldn't remember. Her mind had been elsewhere.

"What do you think?"

"Huh?"

Bow gave her an exasperated look. "Did you catch any of that?"

"I'm sorry. I'm here." She remembered saying that a lot. She usually felt guilty during these dreams. They were reminders of how awful of a girlfriend she was. After her night with Catra though, she found herself feeling calmer here. It had never been meant to be. The look she gave him now was probably the same look she had given him in that moment. She looked away this time. She didn't need to see the look of disappointment on his face.

"I like you Adora," He said, lifting a hand and rubbing gently at Adora's cheek. Adora nodded. That was all. A nod. Bow gave her a tight lip smile and released his hand. "But sometimes you are so hard to read," He finished. Adora put her head in her hands. Sometimes these nightmares felt like they would never end. She felt nauseous when she opened her eyes. Bow was still there. It was dark this time.

"Why am I back here?! Again!" Adora yelled into the nothingness. Bow ignored her. She sighed and turned to him. He was breaking up with her. She was pretty sure she had been yelling but couldn't remember the details.

"Why are you so upset Adora? It's not like..," Bow stopped and looked pleadingly at her.

"Not like?" Adora raised her eyebrows.

"It's not like you really like me," Bow finished, letting out a sigh and placing her hands in his pockets. He was leaning against his car, casually. They had gone for milkshakes. A nice goodbye date before Adora left. Bow's drink was left untouched on the hood of his car. Adora's was still in her hand.

"Bow," Adora started but he held up a hand.

"In that way, Adora," Bow corrected himself. He seemed calm and collected. He was acting like this was always what this night was going to be. In reality, he was correct, but Adora couldn't help but feel anger swelling in her chest.

"Great. So, I decide to do something for myself and I get punished. You're leaving me, Catra won't speak to me. My own mother will barely look at me," Adora started to breakdown. Bow made to move but she held up a hand and shook her head that he should stay where he is. Instead, she took a few inhales of breath.

"I'm still here Adora," Bow confirmed but Adora was barely listening, "And Catra… well I've spoken to Catra and you need to too. She wants to talk to you."

"Oh you've spoken with her? About me? Great. That's perfect." Adora paced back and forth in the street. At least, for once, it wasn't raining here. Although Adora could've used the rain right now. "You two can start a 'we hate Adora fan club'."

Knowing the truth of the matter, Adora felt how ridiculous she sounded. Dream Adora wanted to laugh.

"No one hates you," Bow stated, still leaning calmly against the car, waiting for Adora to relax. She wasn't relaxing though, not even a little.

"Catra hates me. She hates me for dating you," Adora nodded. Bow shrugged and Adora looked at him in shock.

"Maybe."

"Why?" Adora asked, looking at him quizzically but Bow just furrowed his brows and covered his face in one of his hands.

"Jesus," Bow seemed to wrangle with something in his brain and when he finally looked up at Adora she felt like there was a huge joke that she was missing out on. Like she wouldn't understand.

"Bow please!"

"She doesn't hate you!" Bow yelled, "And you don't hate her! In fact, I don't...," He stopped, took a breath, "I don't think I ever stood a chance against her." Bow looked pained and turned his head away quickly.

"What are you talking about?"

"Wake up Adora. We both know that… ah!" Bow's sentence was cut short as ice cream and milk splattered across his clothes and face. They both froze, their mouths hanging open in shock. Even in dream form, Adora had blacked out when the deed was done. Bow was looking at her like she was insane and Adora wondered if he was right.

"Oh Bow, I'm so sorry," Adora shook her head, her mouth still open. Bow held up a hand.

"I'm gonna go," He mumbled.

"Wait, I…"

"No no. I'm sorry. I overstepped. I just think I need to go now," Bow turned and grimaced at his car, knowing he'd have to drive home like this, "And.. take a shower." He nodded decisively.

"I don't know why I did that," Adora said, shaking her head. Bow turned to her with a half-smile on his face and shook his head.

"It's okay Adora. I do. Have a good time in New York, okay?"

The dream slipped away, and Adora awoke with a start. She was covered in sweat and breathing heavily. She instinctively reached a hand over but found herself alone in the bed. She wished Catra had been there but was also grateful that she didn't have to see her like this. Alone in the bed, she lay back and covered her face in her hands, feeling tears well up behind her eyes. "You are okay. Everything is okay," She reminded herself, wrapping her arms around her. She knew the only reason she had thrown that cup was to stop Bow from saying the only truth that she had been hiding forever. A truth that she had come to terms with now. Even still, the events of those nights weighed on her deeply. She tried to think happy thoughts as she fell back into her dreams and wondered if they would ever stop.