Hi! Wow, thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad I made some of you laugh, some of you cry and some of you just waiting for it to continue! There's something for everyone!
I hope you all stay with me as the story unfolds!

It's not happening.
„V-v-v-irgin Bride?" Ginny sputtered. „What cave did you crawl out from? I'm fifteen and breathtaking, what do you expect?"
"Obedience! Devotion! A healthy thirst to kill! A fondness for the color green!" Voldemort commanded. Ginny stared at him. "Well, I AM Lord Voldemort!"
"But Morty-"
"MORT"
"Mort, ok, I am not one of your crawling Death Eaters! I am the one and only love of your life, remember, the poems you wrote? The Muggle love songs you sang?"
"I don't remember, as you well know. That was this Tom Riddle fool I used to be. But do sit down, there is still a spark of the old romantic Tom in me. Maybe you can feed the flame, baby!"

Ginny slowly approached the slept-in bed, acknowledging the frilly bedside table and lowered her, let's admit it, really hot body onto the crumpled bedsheets. She caught a whiff of Voldemorts scent – musky and male, with a note of suphuric acid and, to her surprise, cocoa. She looked up at Mort, standing about 7 feet tall, a sense of power and urgency emanating from him. "What do you want to do now?" she asked with a trembling voice.
Voldemort scratched his bald head. "I must admit, as much experience I have in torturing Muggles, milking snakes, thinking up flashy tatoos and not dying, in the matters of love you seem to be a lot more proficient than I am. Show me the light, baby!"
"'Show me the light, baby'?" Ginny echoed, angry red blotches appearing on her cheeks. "That's not the Snake Lord I remember! I expect a more sinister approach! You can leave now. Come back when you know what you are doing!" And with this, she drew the blanket around her slender body and turned her back to the Dark One.

"What went wrong?" Voldemort whimpered for the hundredth time, raising his bloodshot eyes to Lucius, who was sharing a quiet smoke with him down at the shore.

"I don't know, my lord, but I guess you should just crucio her a bit", Lucius murmured, his eyes alight at the very thought. "I could do it for you, oh Great One!"
"If you think that helps?" Lord Voldemort asked. "I'm not sure of this. Remind me, what IS it they call love?"

The platinum blond Malfoy furrowed his aristocratic brow. "Love. Well, the woman needs to fear the man she loves. There is no need to talk. You just have to look good, then she kind of steps out of her clothes and you reproduce. Lock her in a dungeon if you have one, and 9 months later you have an heir. Worked really well for me that way!"
"Are you sure that's all there is?" Voldemort whispered. "I remember something about poems and flower and stuff."
"If you want to complicate things... I guess the little redhead just wants to be lead. Show her who the Dark Lord is!"
"I am. Ok. Thanks." And with that, he flicked the cigarette end into the sea in a very aggressive manner.

"YOU! GET OUT OF MY BED!"
"There is no need to shou-"
"Crucio!"

"Good morning, Mort!"
"QUIET!"
"But I just wanted to-"
"Mordsmordre!"
"Are you sure you are allowed to do that indoors?"
"THIS IS MY DECISION! WHAT IF I WANT A NEW DECOR IN THIS CAVE?"
"Ok, ok."

"Sorry, my lord, it's noon, and I'm a bit hungry.."
"DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER?"
"No, but.."
"Impedimenta!"

"H-h-ello? Are you still-"
"LUMOS!"

A few days had passed in this vein, and Ginny had resigned to share a bed with Peter, who preferred sleeping in rat-form and leaving enough space in his hammock. She didn't speak to Voldemort any more, after he had cursed her with every spell that came into his mind. The last time she wanted to inquire about a piece of bread, he had cast an engorgement spell on her, which had made her look like aunt Marge and ripped all her clothes. The spell had eventually faded, but there was no mending of the tatters that hung on her womanly body – Voldemort had taken her wand and snapped it in two at the first opportunity.

On a bright morning, Ginny sat on a rock outside Voldemorts cave, daydreaming about her rugged, manly Lord, when a booming voice rang out.
"Ginevra Molly Weasly! Come inside my cave this instance! And comb your hair for godssakes, you look like a mop!"
"Are you going to curse me, me Dark Prince?" Ginny spoke, combing her hair with her fingers.

"No. I'm going to love you!"

Soooooooooo. What happens next? Sweet love, baby. Or not. Check it out!