CHAPTER 7
He's coming home today.
That was the one thought in the forefront of the minds of the three women standing on the airship docks, eyes casting skywards for that telltale sign that a ship was approaching. He was due within the hour, and his homecoming stirred many a feeling within them. Especially with Eries; there was so much to say to him, so much she wanted to say yet feared she could not. Grief and anxiety knotted themselves up around her like complicated Draconian knot that threatened to pull tighter and tighter until it choked her off altogether. And buried underneath, a tiny flutter of an emotion her sense of propriety would not allow her to put a name to; a distinct warm spark she struggled to contain from the other two, at least in public. That would have to wait until the moment when she felt ready to acknowledge it.
Eries cast a surreptitious glance at Celena. The girl was looking into the sky, yet seemed to be seeing a wholly different universe, her porcelain features unnaturally still and inscrutable. Where her mind had gone, Eries could not possibly guess, and frankly did not want to. She'd been quieter than usual lately, as if she were hiding something, a skulking look about her eyes.
It was just as well, Eries sighed to herself as she adjusted her cloak. Perhaps Allen could succeed where she could not, and pull her out of whatever darkness she'd wrapped herself in. Perhaps the unique bond of blood could transcend the terrors of Celena's inner world, and bring her back into the real one.
Eries hoped so. Because she was worn down to the last thread of her proverbial rope, and she felt even that might snap before long.
Just get me through the next few days intact, she prayed to whatever deity might have a sympathetic ear. Just let me bury my father with dignity.
A distinctly mechanical roar jolted her out of her moroseness, and her eyes caught sight of a small black shape on the horizon that was growing larger as it approached the docks. It was Allen.
"Here he comes!" cried Millerna, excitement flushing in her cheeks, a smile breaking out over her face.
The airship loomed overhead as it bore down onto the landing strip, propellers whipping the cool morning air into nearly a gale. Their ears filled with the thundering of the engine, rattling their teeth as well as the ground beneath them. Eventually, the ship drew to a stop and the engine mercifully ceased its roaring, bringing an abrupt silence in its wake that seemed somehow louder than the noise which had preceded it. The sharp hiss of hydraulics cut its way through the air a few moments later, and a landing ramp extended itself from the ship's belly.
Eries felt her breath catch in her throat as she saw a few of Allen's men descend the ramp, looking far more serious than they usually did, although one or two grinned as they took in the sight of Palas and tasted the salty sea air. There would be drinking tonight, but the spirit of celebration would be dampened.
A tall figure emerged behind them, its elegant stride making the elder princess's heart hammer in her chest as she realized who was coming towards them. The sunlight gleamed on a long mane of golden hair as he stepped out from the ship's shadow.
Allen.
Clad in in the elaborate uniform of a Knight Caeli, long hair gently billowing around a handsome face set with a stony, regal expression, Allen Schezar appeared in every way the epitome of the Prince Charming so often dreamed of by young women. Indeed, many a noblewoman of the court had sighed over those looks behind lace fans, had fantasized of catching his eye or being graced with his famous chivalry and gentle manners, and still more would have been quite willing to cuckold their husbands for him.
Those women had absolutely no idea of who Allen really was. In his entire life, Allen had eyes for only two women: Marlene, and his sister, Celena, and his adventures in love had not been nearly as romantic as the gossip would have suggested.
And now this gloriously flawed creature, who had been the source of as much pain as pleasure to her for the last dercade of her life, had returned, and in this moment of naked vulnerability, Eries found herself loving him more than she ever had.
Allen's face softened as he approached, a small smile gracing his lips at seeing the three people whom he cared the most about standing to meet him, but the warmth could not conceal the sadness in his eyes. He bowed towards Eries and Millerna, more out of habit these days than a need for formality, and truly, considering what sort of history lay between them all, such pretenses seemed awkward, even silly.
"I apologize for my absence at court, Your Highnesses," he said in a solemn voice. "I am grieved by the news of your father."
And yet you are distancing yourself from us with that kind of talk, Eries thought. Is it to save face in front of your men, I wonder? Or is there something else?
Millerna, eyes shining with unshed tears, impulsively stepped forward to throw her arms around Allen in a tight embrace, a move which Eries would have reprimanded her for not a year ago.
"It's so good to see you, Allen!"cried Millerna. "I'm so glad you've come back!"
Allen returned her gesture, albeit with a bit more restraint, aware that the woman he was holding was still betrothed to another man, and soon to be crowned queen, and obviously not too keen in awakening any old feelings of infatuation that she had once held for him.
"I'm glad to be back,"he replied, and Eries could see the sincerity and compassion in his face. He turned to the elder princess, gently letting Millerna go so he could clasp her hand in greeting.
"Princess Eries," he said, and the tone in his voice held an entire unspoken conversation. "I am glad to see you despite this difficult time."
She caught it immediately, and with a nod, gave his hands a subtle squeeze to underscore just how much she appreciated his presence.
"Thank you for coming, Allen," she said softly, flicking her eyes significantly to her left at Celena. "The times are indeed difficult. Your presence here is appreciated more than you know."
He followed her gaze to settle at last on the one person he had come specifically to see; his sister. She was watching him with expressionless eyes, without even the slightest hint as to what she might have been thinking or feeling on seeing him again. Her features appeared harder than he remembered, somehow less innocent, less young. As he looked at her longer, he saw that her eyes, too, seemed to have changed; they were colder, sharper and more distant than he had ever known them to be.
Allen suppressed a chill at the alien demeanor of Celena, his smile growing wider in spite of his inner misgivings that there was something distinctly out of place.
"Celena,"he said affectionately, reaching out to take her small hands in his own. "It's been too long since I've last seen you. How are you doing?"
Her eyes flickered uncertainly for a moment, as if she couldn't decide on her reaction, then she threw her arms around his neck and buried her head against his chest.
"Brother," she whispered, clinging to him as if Jichia himself could not make her let go. Allen tightened his hold on her, resting his cheek against the top of her head and squeezing his eyes shut against a sudden tide of guilt.
"I'm sorry I haven't been here for you. I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you, too," Celena whispered back, voice tight with repressed emotion, sincere in her words, even though she still carried a sliver of resentment against him in her heart for leaving her behind. But now that he was here, holding her, talking to her, telling her he was sorry, she could almost feel remorse about what she was planning to do.
Almost.
"What is it you wish to discuss, Eries?"
Allen and Eries were in the princess's drawing room, having retired there after supper so she could explain her situation in more detail. Celena had been put to her needlework so they could speak without interruption.
"So many things," she sighed wearily, gaze wandering to the window that overlooked her private garden. "Your sister for one."
Allen's mouth drew into a thin, hard line as he studied the princess out of the corner of his eye, seeing how utterly diminished she appeared from how she last had been, how in need she was. All during supper he'd found himself unable to look away from the fine lines of care that had begun to creep in on the edges of her eyes, horrified that this task he had asked of her had finally begun to take its toll.
What on earth have I done?
"I know,"he said in a quiet voice. "I saw how she looked this morning when I arrived. There's something about her that's different, something wrong."
Eries turned to him beseechingly, throwing a helpless gesture at the door.
"I don't know...what it is I should do, what I can do for her,"she began haltingly. "She resists me. I try to teach her the ways of our society, but no matter what I do, she is uncooperative. I-I know you told me—what happened to her—that you didn't know what to expect, but—I think that maybe you might be able to bring her back to herself."
Allen watched her, eyes raw with pain. How could Fate be so cruel to one like her? What had Eries ever done to deserve these sorrows?
"Eries," he responded, moving forward to take her gently by the arms. "I'll do whatever I can. You know I will. You and Millerna and Celena are all that I have left."
Eries stared up at him, seeing how quickened with emotion he was, the compassion and sincerity in his eyes. How long had it been since someone had looked at her that way? Had there ever been anyone who did? It had always been Marlene or Millerna with suitors, who had drawn many an appreciative glance from the men at court. Ever the unflappable sibling, Eries had always pretended that she'd never noticed, never cared about such frivolous things, but deep down, there had always been a small part of her that had been jealous.
She felt herself begin to tremble, body now running on a kind of sensory overload that even her firm resolve could no longer hold back. A person could only push aside their feelings for so long before they finally erupted from the pressure, and standing here with the man she'd secretly loved for the past few years was proving too much. Eries collapsed against him, weeping openly and unashamedly, the tears hot and stinging as they coursed down her reddened cheeks.
"It's all right to mourn him," Allen whispered, smoothing a gloved hand over her flaxen hair. "You're trying so hard to fix things that you haven't let yourself feel what you need to."
"I miss him so much!"Eries sobbed, burying her face into the fine leather of his doublet, at once relishing in the feel of his arms around her and embarrassed at her own unguarded behavior. She couldn't remember the last time she'd expressed herself this way; perhaps it had been when her mother was still alive, so very long ago. "But I need to fix things. What have I done my whole life except fix things and take care of everyone around me? Oh, Allen, who am I going to turn to now that Father is gone?"
"You can turn to me,"Allen said earnestly. "You've done enough for me already. Now let me try to repay you for it. You need time to heal."
Eries let out a bitter laugh against his shoulder, feeling drained and weakened under the weight of her grief.
"Time? Allen, there's a whole kingdom now that has no ruler, and Millerna, she's-"
"She's Regent,"he finished. "And she'll do what's necessary. She'll be fine. And now that I'm here, I'll stay for as long as you need. It was wrong of me to force all of this on you alone."
She raised her head, searching his face as she brushed her tears away. His expression, his eyes, his words, told her all that she'd been wanting to know. Allen's feelings were being offered to her, written as plainly on his features as the day was long.
Does he truly...? Eries wondered in astonishment, again feeling that same warmth she'd felt that morning when she'd seen his airship land. Instead of fighting against it, however, she let it wash over her to dull the ache in her heart and lighten the heaviness in her limbs. For the first time in many months, a true smile blossomed over her face like the first fragile flower of spring bursting forth from winter's chill.
"Thank you," she sighed, resting her head on his shoulder as she embraced him again, feeling as though a great shadow had been lifted from her mind. "Thank you so much."
"I should be thanking you. You've helped me out so many times,"he said, chuckling a bit at the irony of the situation. "You were always there to point me in the right direction, even if it meant henpecking me like a mother."
Eries felt herself laugh, the sound of it genuinely surprising her. When had she last laughed at anything? When had she even felt anywhere close to it?
I've been alone too long, she realized grimly. I haven't let myself live or feel much of anything the past six months. Perhaps Allen is right. Perhaps I have been trying to take control of too many things at once.
"I suppose we've been though a lot together, haven't we?" Allen asked, gladdened somewhat at seeing Eries smile, even though his own heart remained troubled.
"I suppose we have," she agreed. "Although I only henpecked you because I cared about you. I didn't want to see you or my sisters get hurt. That's what we "mothers" do."
"Your father and your sisters were lucky to have your wisdom," Allen said, his face darkening for a moment as he remembered all the years he'd spent hating his own father. "I've envied that about them. I never had anyone to guide me until I met you."
"You're kind for that. And I do miss Father. He was the only parent I really remembered. He taught me everything I know, and he was the only one I could really talk to. My sisters—well, you know."
Ah, didn't he? Millerna and Marlene—passionate, rebellious, and impulsive; qualities which he had loved in his youth when he himself had possessed similar qualities. Marlene's face flashed unbidden though his mind then, her playful smile, her waves of golden hair, the way she'd talked to him as if he'd been her equal instead of another servant.
He felt himself wince at a sudden stab of grief; at the eternal separation that had been an inevitability from the beginning of their tryst. As much as they'd loved each other, they could never have remained together. And he, a callow youth of only sixteen, had had nothing to offer her beyond the physical. It had been only right for her to marry a duke, and right for the child she'd carried.
Observant as always, Eries said, "You still miss her, don't you?"
"And I always will," he answered without hesitation. "Marlene was my first love, and there was a child that came from that love—In Prince Chid she'll live on. I'm glad for that, but now it's time to focus on who is with me here; Celena...and you."
He paused, staring down at her again with that same look of earnestness, his fingers gently stroking her upper arms. Eries did nothing to discourage the action; it had been too long since she had been touched so affectionately and so intimately, and she felt an overwhelming eagerness simply to yield to his attentions and see where these trembling first steps on this heretofore untraveled road would lead. To have someone here, real and present. To have someone to reach out to…
A gentle, yet insistent knock at the door cut through the delicate veil of unspoken desire with all the thorough brutality of an axe cleaving its way through the tender green shoots of a young tree. The sound was enough to send them crashing swiftly back to earth and to all of its painful realities laid out before them. Whatever this was between them that was struggling to build, now was not the time. Eries staggered backwards, awkwardly smoothing out her blouse and skirt and pointedly trying to ignore the warm flush of embarrassment she felt spreading over her cheeks at having been so rudely reminded that there were other people in this palace and any one of them may have walked in and caught her in such a compromising position with a man who already had a knack for scandal. When she felt as though she had regained enough composure, she raised her head and gave soft, yet guarded, "Yes?"
The door opened, revealing her butler, Julen.
"I apologize for the interruption Your Highness," he said with the customary bow. "But the Fanelian delegation has just arrived. He asked immediately that he see you."
She nodded, feeling the last of the embarrassment pass as the familiar mask of reserve slid into its place.
"Show him in."
Julen nodded and moved aside to wave in a grim-faced Van trailed by a doleful and silent Millerna, who immediately moved to the comforting side of her elder sister. It recalled an earlier time, ten years ago, when she'd clutched at Eries's skirts as she watched her eldest sister's carriage roll down the royal road, never to be seen again. And, although she was older now, she still felt the same grief she had as a child, the same sense of something precious slipping away from life into memory.
"I'm very sorry for your loss, Princess Eries, Princess Millerna."
They nodded, seeing in Van's face one who was long acquainted with grief, who knew the burden of its weight on his shoulders. As a king, he'd lost his country. As a man, he'd lost his entire family. Yet in him they could also see the defiance pushing stridently against the tragedies that fate had dealt him, glimpse in his dark eyes the boundless will to survive at all costs. Millerna remembered that will. She remembered it in vivid crimson pools that had poured down her operating table as she'd tried in vain to heal what she couldn't see. She remembered him resisting her to the last, half-dead as he'd stumbled to his feet to fight again. The war had drawn a hardness into his features that Millerna knew had not been there before, but that hardness had not destroyed the compassion that remained, the love for his nation and for the friends which had extended their hands to help carry a little of that burden.
"Thank you, Van," Millerna replied with genuine affection. "We appreciate you making the journey here."
"Fanelia will do whatever she can to help," Van said, a faint smile easing the graveness of his expression, no less genuine in its affection. "Just as Asturia once helped us."
"You're starting to talk like a king, Van," interjected Allen. He stepped away from the sisters to clasp Van's shoulder, brother to brother. Indeed, for Allen had been Van's brother long after the young king had discovered his true flesh and blood, guiding him with true, if not always kind, reason. It had been Allen who'd kept him from his own rashness many a time, and incidentally kept Van from a foolhardy rush to his own death. It was Allen, not Folken, who'd taught him patience and restraint, to place the needs of his people above any selfish desire for personal vengeance.
Even so...even knowing who his true brother was, it was difficult to erase that final image of Folken, pale with death, tumbling to his end amid a shower of black feathers, the hard glint of his sword tip grinning in cruel mirth as it had carved its way into his throat.
Folken...even you couldn't escape the hand of Fate.
Suppressing a cold shudder at the memory with another smile, Van replied,"If I'm starting to talk like a king it's only because of all of you. And…" here he grew silent, the smile struggling to hold itself in place as he heard the echoes of her cheerful voice, imagined the large green eyes that seemed to see so far beyond the world.
"...Hitomi," Allen finished for him, his own expression softening at the shared memory. "She was very special to all of us."
"Do you...Do you think she even remembers us?" Millerna quietly put in.
"I know she does," Van said with a nod, his smile finding renewed strength as it widened across his face. It was a smile of absolute faith, as unshakable as the foundation of Gaea itself, and as brilliant as the blue moon in the night sky. It lit him from within, and for a moment he was only a boy, untroubled and carefree. "She told me...that she'd always be with me. And I know she is. No matter what happens."
A silence settled around them then, deep and thoughtful as they each recounted the strangeness of the past six months, of the girl who had come to them from the heavens and had, with nothing more than a stack of cards and a glittering jewel, irrevocably changed the face (and fate) of Gaea forever.
"I wonder what she's doing now?" Millerna wondered aloud. "On the Mystic Moon, I mean. Ever since she told me that's where she's from I always did wonder what sort of place it was."
"My father always thought it was a place full of great cities and great magic," said Allen, voice stumbling a little over the words "my father." It would be a long time, if ever, before the Knight Caeli would ever truly forgive his father for his wanderings, for those foolish beliefs that had so needlessly cost him everything.
"It was, once," said Van, giving a welcomed interruption to Allen's memory. "Or part of it was, before it was destroyed. But Hitomi never really talked about great cities or great magic. Actually, I can't remember her talking much about The Mystic Moon at all."
"Hmm. That's a shame," Millera sighed. "I know we didn't start out well, but it really would have been interesting to hear more about it. After all, it's not every day you get to meet a girl like that."
"Indeed. It's also not every day that you get to meet a girl like that who can't hold her vino."
Three sets of eyes turned towards Eries, who had up until now only been a silent observer to their mutual reminiscence. And while she herself hadn't much to remember about Hitomi, she'd offered what little she had. Not out of any misty-eyed sentimentality, but more of a need to relieve the heaviness that clouded about their lives the last few weeks.
"Eries!" cried Millerna once she recovered from her shock, a scandalized laugh escaping from behind a gloved hand.
"I may be the older sister, but even I get tired of being so serious sometimes," the princess replied aridly, sending a smile as rare as an Asturian blue pearl at Allen and Van, who by now had managed to recover from their own surprise at her usual reserve.
"Hitomi did have a little trouble with the vino," acknowledged Allen with a chuckle, recalling their first night at the capital, Hitomi hiccuping her way through the sweet wine in front of the King. "She eventually got used to it."
"I still couldn't get her to eat Merle's cooking, though," laughed Van. "She'd swear up and down a dragon's tail that Merle poisoned it."
"This is nice, all of us together like this again," said Millerna, wiping at a stray tear of merriment in the corner of her eye, her features touched with her old glow of liveliness that even death could not entirely dim. "It seems like the last few months...we've all been so caught up in ourselves. It feels good to laugh again."
"It does," agreed Eries. Giving into a moment of emotion, she reached to take her sister's hand in hers, her smile hinting at the young girl she'd long since ceased to be. "I can't remember the last time I laughed."
"Why don't we promise," said Van, extending his own hand out. "Here and now, that no matter what happens, we'll always find a way to meet like this. That we'll always be there to help each other. Not just as a king or a queen or a knight. But as friends."
Allen's hand was immediately over his. "I'll do everything I can as both a knight and a friend to keep that promise."
Millerna stepped forward to place her hand atop Allen's. "I promise."
She turned to her sister, watching her with a curious and expectant gaze. From her point of view, at least, Eries really didn't have as much of a reason to make any kind of promise to them; she hadn't been with them on the front, hadn't seen the worst kinds of atrocities that humanity could visit upon itself...the rivers of blood, the screams, the madness…She hadn't been a witness to Hitomi or the power that had shaken the world to its core.
But Eries, it seemed, had a very different point of view, as she moved towards them, smile still in place as she laid a slender hand over Millerna's. On the front or not, she'd still passed through the same trials, still been touched by the horror and the wonder of one age passing into the next. She was still a princess, still a protector of her people, be they knight or commoner, or half-Draconian kings.
"I promise."