End of Chapter 12

Though he had spoken the truth to Darcy just now, he also neglected the whole truth, though he well knew now was not the time to make a point of it. Oh, his mother would delight in launching them, and revel in landing them excellent matches, but she certainly wouldn't support marriage to Darcy, not at first anyway. She had her own designs for his cousin, and those designs were not at all well suited for Darcy's temperament, tastes or happiness. Certain Darcy knew his mother had her own agenda, and he would repent of any match the Countess made for him, Richard thus knew his cousin must have always known this dispute, sooner or later, was meant to be had, much like it was with their Aunt Lady Catherine. Though they had different objectives and different temperaments, neither woman was accustomed to being denied.

It was one thing, he thought, for his mother to orchestrate brilliant matches for the girls, with everyone bowing to her superior skill as a matchmaker, it would be quite another to have the most eligible bachelor in her own family snatched up in a marriage she'd be forced to support for the sake of the family. One scenario elevated her, the other embarrassed her. Richard wasn't quite sure how to play that hand yet, assuming that Darcy was able to make amends with Miss Elizabeth and decided to pursue her, at that assuming she would have him, which was far from certain.

Darcy was going to have hell to pay with the Countess of Matlock one way or another, Richard thought, well aware of his mothers mercurial nature. Either his cousin was going to have the pain of seeing Miss Elizabeth courted and then married by another, or he was going to have hell to pay to get the Countess to support the match. By speaking thus, Richard was hoping the threat of the former would induce his cousin to prefer to endure the latter.

Chapter 13

Elizabeth, quite weary having stayed by Jane's side, but wanting to be present when Jane awoke, decided against resting and instead upon taking some air. She departed their rooms in favor of the breakfast parlor, thinking herself unlikely to encounter anyone at such an early hour. Upon entering she was surprised to see both Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Darcy, who abruptly halted their speech. Remembering her discussion with Jane, after Darcy's apology, she greeted them politely and insisted she'd be but a moment, as she intended to walk out so soon as she found a muffin.

"Do you often walk out this early Miss Elizabeth?" inquired Darcy rather pleasantly.

"Indeed, I find I like the solitude of the early morning, and the privilege of watching nature come to life," replied Elizabeth, quite confused at his civility, which now lacked its hallmark chill.

"And your sister, is she well?," he asked. Elizabeth discerned some anxiety in his voice but knew not what to attribute it to.

"I cannot say that she is sir, I've not seen her this ill since we were children. She is finally resting peacefully. I thought to use this opportunity to allow the fresh air to enliven me. I confess having that additional motive for walking out this morning, as I wish to be there when Jane awakens." replied Elizabeth.

"I pray you would allow yourself to rest as well. I'm certain orders can be given to have you fetched at once when she stirs. Though I can well understand the pressing anxiety that concern for a beloved sister can promote. It can be rather exhausting, but we cannot help but to feel it." mused Darcy, distracted by his own thoughts.

Elizabeth truly did not know what to make of Darcy's speech, she had never seen proper feeling from him for any person or anything, and realized she must have presumed him incapable of anything other than what she had witnessed. Knowing at least that much was unjust, Elizabeth merrily said "Has your sister been ill recently sir?"

"In a manner of speaking. Her spirits have been low and I've yet to discover a means of reviving them, though I soon hope my efforts will be rewarded."

Elizabeth, not wishing to pry but still genuinely curious replied, "What manner of girl is she? I daresay, living with five other women I well know that what may enliven one may encourage a fit of sulking in another."

"She is sweet and painfully shy, she is a great lover of music but can find little enjoyment, even in that, of late," replied Darcy. Richard was watching all of their discourse utterly enraptured, this was a sharp change indeed for his cousin. He had never borne witness to Darcy conversing so freely with any women of his acquaintance.

"May I ask, what is it that brought her spirits so low?" Elizabeth inquired. Darcy, who had looked lost in thought until that moment, snapped his head into position to look right at her, almost right through her, felt Elizabeth. To her understanding, the Darcy she knew just presented himself, as evidenced by his angry glare. Seeing Darcy struggle uncharacteristically to compose himself, and Miss Elizabeth taken aback, Richard stepped in and answered for Darcy.

"She found a childhood friend was less trustworthy than she had imagined, the betrayal was a bit of a blow to a young girl who saw only the best in anyone, however little they endeavored to deserve it. I fear the incident has caused her not to trust herself or those she counts as friends."

"I daresay, Miss Darcy sounds a bit like a younger version of Jane, even now she thinks the best of everyone and would sooner place blame on her own understanding than think ill of anyone else. I hope she doesn't blame herself for her former friend's actions."

"Sadly she does, though Darcy and I did our best to prove the fault lies not in herself but with false friends. She knows so little of the world though, she could not at the time have guarded against those who wished only to use her position in life to better their own," replied Colonel Fitzwilliam quite candidly, though careful not to reveal the truth, nor the gender of the supposed friend.

"That must have been particularly painful for her then." cried Elizabeth. "I do hope that if we ever meet that I may tease her out of her melancholy. Jane's shyness causes others to see her as demure, but I daresay she feels more deeply for it. I have always had a sympathy for people of my sister's temperament, they are never loud enough to get their wish, and too kind to consider themselves before others. It sounds unlikely that your sister is willing to burden others with her trials, and instead tries her best to insist she is unaffected, as Jane would." said Elizabeth, once again including Darcy in the conversation, not knowing what to attribute his previous appearance of anger to, perhaps not to herself for inquiring, but the person who had hurt his sister, she mused.

"It seems you have the right understanding of it, even more so than me, though I do my best to understand what I ought to do for her." replied Darcy.

"I pray she will soon find a friend worth having and recover shortly," replied Elizabeth, who began to move towards the door, mere seconds from curtseying.

"May I walk out with you Miss Elizabeth? It seems a fine day," asked Darcy, uncertain of the answer.

Elizabeth couldn't politely decline, so she acquiesced with a nod of her head. They departed the breakfast parlor and arrived in Netherfield's garden, well in view of the windows, both ever mindful of propriety.

"Miss Elizabeth, I must thank you for allowing me to walk out with you. I know that we did not begin our acquaintance on the easiest of terms." he began. Elizabeth for her part was astounded he would bring up the previous speech between them, having both been on their best behavior since she had arrived to care for her sister.

He continued on, "I know now that my debt no longer stands at just an apology, but in a wealth of gratitude as well." She looked as though to question his meaning, so he continued on, "After careful consideration of your words madam, I realized that I had been given good principles but left to follow them in pride and conceit. I pray you would forgive me, not just for my ill-humored and untruthful speech, but for the manner in which I meant to apologize." He paused, struggling for the words to better explain "Shortly after leaving your fathers study, before even arriving here, I had realized the great service you had afforded me with your excellent arguments and candor, in causing me to realize the very behaviors that I had thought to use to protect myself, were the robbing me of the potential to realize my dearest hopes. I am utterly ashamed of my behavior and grateful to you for pointing out my folly, not just for my sake but for those around me. I say it to my shame madam, but it must be said, I had no notion of the harm I did to those who surround me. I thought carefully, on those words falling to my sister's ears, and though I couldn't have spoken them to someone more undeserving than yourself, I thank God I spoke them to a woman with the fortitude to call me out on my sins, without you I fear I would have remained as such."

"I had no notion of what I had said effecting you thus" replied Elizabeth, still quite shocked at the turn of the conversation as well as the humility evidenced in his abashed countenance. She blushed as she began to imagine she may have misjudged him after all.

"I would imagine not, I gave you every impression of being devoid of every proper feeling, such as shame for my conduct. Truly, I hope to give you no cause to find further fault with me, madam. It seems that I've been a selfish being all my life. Would that I had made a proper apology sooner. I would have spared myself a great deal of embarrassment." he said, looking utterly mortified as he stared at the ground.

"And spare yourself the introspection sir?" teased Elizabeth raising her eyebrows with a hint of a smile.

"Indeed not, if the thought of a thousand Miss Bingley's descending upon me couldn't induce you to spare sympathy for me, my behavior was dreadful indeed." Darcy jested in return, adding his own hint of a smile.

"I find myself indeed sympathetic, upon better knowing Miss Bingley." she returned the jest, though she swiftly took up seriousness "I must also confess I owe you an apology as well," she said thinking of her earlier conclusion. "I daresay I should not have thought so ill of you based on one statement, Jane tried to warn me, being of a better nature than my own. Nor should I have given my opinion where others could overhear, though I didn't realize it at the time. I was quite vexed defending myself to Charlotte and as we have long spoken candidly to one another, I'm afraid I became lost in the conversation, which is unlike me, I'm naturally neither angry nor careless."

"I daresay, I would not have believed malice nor carelessness of you, even if you had tried to convince me. It is obvious through your care for your sister that you are quite ill-suited to both faults."

"But I think you must know Mr. Darcy, my remark last night was not meant as kindly as Miss Bingley received it," said Elizabeth blushing, "I must own, I owe you an apology for that most of all, it was unkind."

"I regret, I was in need of hearing that sentimatement as well, I was not aware we were perceived as so similar in nature, though we are not truly. Though perhaps your penance can be aiding me in thwarting Miss BIngley's attempts on my affections." mused Darcy. At that Elizabeth laughed and Darcy, for the first time in years, showed his dimples to an ample advantage.

Elizabeth simply wasn't made for melancholy, nor was she made for bitterness, she swiftly found herself enjoying the easy conversation they fell into after he presented his second apology and he accepted hers. She was shocked to find he was in possession of a sense of humor, as was he, not recalling the last time he had enjoyed such an unaffected conversation, without design or intent to capture him.

Before long she was required to return to Jane, and she turned and thanked Mr. Darcy for his company with all sincerity.