I've been posting very rapidly since Chapter 16, you may have missed a few, as there have been several per day.

What was your favorite part of the story so far? What did you find the funniest and what part did you find most touching? I'm just curious what kept so many people following. I know the story pretty well so you can just paraphrase, I wouldn't put you through the trouble of looking everywhere for it.

Chapter 22

He entered and bowed, and began introducing himself and complimenting all of the ladies, entirely ignorant of how absurd he was already revealing himself to be. On the heels of Elizabeth and Jane's arrival, came Mr. Collins, the heir to their father's estate. Though he was a distant cousin, the estate was entailed, and it mattered not if he were ignorant or incapable, only that he was male.

Their father, ever seeking only his own comfort, failed to inform their mother, until the day of the event, that the heir to the estate would be arriving. Mr. Bennet's contrivance may have spared the family and servants at Longbourne additional nervous events from Mrs. Bennet that six weeks passed, but it also increased the level of anxiety suffered by all the day of the dreaded event. Mrs. Bennet had not the time to wear herself out, nor resign herself to the notion of his ill-advised visit.

She fluttered through the house giving orders and hiding valuables, seeming to simultaneously wish to showcase herself as an accomplished mistress while leaving nothing outside of the entail to entice Mr. Collins. "Oh, he must be a frightful rogue!" She declared, "Dreadful man to be sure! To take their very home from my poor daughters!"

"Mamma, calm yourself, for I'm sure he will prove to be the most amiable man," said Jane, ever faithful to hope and optimism.

"Oh my dear Jane, you cannot know how bad it will be. For your father has left us nothing, not a thing to live upon when he leaves us," exclaimed Mrs. Bennet. Could not any of them see the seriousness of the situation?, she thought, while failing to see her own complicity in the excess of household expenditures. "He must be prevailed upon to marry one of you" she pronounced, dead set in her resolve, with none of her usual effusions.

"Not I, for he has not a red coat," cried Lydia.

"Nor I" cried Kitty, "For I should find a Parson dreadfully dull."

"No, no, of course not Kitty, Lydia. I beg you, do not speak such nonsense. Neither of you would do for a clergyman. Though it must be one of you, and come to think of it I believe it should be Lizzy, or perhaps even Mary, as Jane is too beautiful and already has Mr. Bingley. Though I daresay as a Parson, he may prefer a plain woman to an impertinent one. What shall I ever do with Lizzy? Babbling on and arguing about books, scampering about the countryside and her other wild ways, I despair of marrying her off, I do. As for Mary, it is not possible to stop her from being so plain, I've done as much as any mother could for her. If I knew of something else that could be done, I would do it. Oh, my poor nerves, where is Hill? Hill!" she babbled, then yelled.

"I thank you for my part of the favor mamma, but I must decline. I must insist upon choosing my own husband" replied Elizabeth, ignoring her mothers insults, more worried for her mothers matchmaking. She had read the Parson's letter, she knew not to expect him to be sensible. If he spoke half as much nonsense as he had written, she would be driven to distraction before the first four and twenty hours had passed. She could not live a whole life with the man, of that much she was sure.

Her father grunted and her mother cried "Choose your own husband?" As though she had never heard of such a thing. "Choose your own husband?" she repeated. "I shall not have it. What are you about? You and Mary both shall pay every attention to Mr. Collins and he will choose between the two of you. There, it is all settled. You shall make your conversation polite and submissive and all will be well. Mr. Collins shall have whomever he prefers." Mrs. Bennet instructed with an edge of nervous desperation in her voice, scarcely believing Elizabeth would do as instructed.

The younger girls lost themselves in a fit of giggles. Jane and Elizabeth looked at one another with concern. One quietly pledging support, the other silently begging for assistance. Mary, who was ever desperate for appropriation, readily delivered a sermon-worthy remark, adding, "We females show ourselves to an advantage when we humbly persevere in silence. It is due unto a rector to have a dutiful and humble wife to serve himself and his parish."

And now they found themselves, with the man himself arrived and feeling no less anxiety for having met him. It was one thing to live with the constant threat of being put out by said man, it was quite another to suffer the sudden threat of being joined in matrimony to him. All the girls felt ill at ease, after having observed him, either feeling for a beloved sister or feeling fear that his lusty look would turn towards them.

He stank, he ate, and ate, while blustering on about his dear patroness, who apparently thought to intrude upon even the organization of his closet. Elizabeth could not cipher whom she would find more of an affront to her idea of common sense, Mr. Collin's or her Ladyship. What Mr. Collins deemed affability and condescension, Elizabeth suspected to be officious interference, as her instructions seemed to care little for the comfort of those intruded upon, and only desired their compliance.

One would suffer enough to marry Mr. Collins, as he was completely insensible to reason, but adding Lady Catherine interference into the endeavor ensured his dear wife would have no escape from stupidity. God help that poor woman and grant her the patience of the saints, thought Elizabeth, determined whomever it was it would not be her.

She found him to be conceited, pompous, narrow-minded, and silly, in addition to utterly ridiculous. He strutted through the house, pleased with all that he would someday inherit, looking fondly on all he considered his future property, which seemed to include the sisters, feeling some entitlement as the future master of Longbourn. He presumed to lecture the young ladies on how they ought to act, declaring himself an expert on any topic that came up, though his manners bore no witness to proper decorum in their own right.

By the time dinner was served that evening, all of the household had enough of his effusions, even their father had reached his threshold of amusement in another man's foibles, except of course, their mother. Mrs. Bennet was delighted, his plans could not fit better with her own. Matrimony was the only thing on either of their minds and to think he was here to find a bride. It could not have worked better had she planned it.