Chapter 23

Lydia was not so silly as she seemed, she was merely ill-informed. Everyone always presuming another had taught her, she was flung into the world without the education that her sisters enjoyed and naught but the exclaims of her mother to guide her. Being a favorite of her mother, Mrs. Bennett's views of the world were often Lydia's only guidance. Could one truly wonder at why she thought a red coat was an ideal husband, or why she taught sense and decorum were dull and useless? With her mother declaring her silliness was liveliness that would soon land her a husband, it was little wonder why she acted as though she did.

Thus was how Elizabeth found her, in Meryton, on a walk to visit their aunt, after briefly parting to greet separate acquaintances, rather brazenly flirting with an officer and a gentleman she didn't recognize. Elizabeth, arrived just in time, from behind the said gentlemen to feel quite unsettled by what he said next, "And If Mary is the pious one, what does that make you Miss Lydia? Are you always a good girl?" inquired the stranger.

Elizabeth liked neither the tone nor the look in his eye. Quite concerned at his meaning and her sister's presumed response, Elizabeth interrupted before her sister could answer. "Lydia, we really must be going. I told Jane I would retrieve you at once, she's now waiting upon us."

"La, I'm sure we don't need to go just yet, Lizzy. Our Aunt can wait, and I've invited our new friend to her card party. You must allow me to introduce you." volunteered Lydia, with a gleam in her eye, rather proud she made the handsome man's acquaintance first, as though it was a credit to her to know him first.

"Another time I'm sure, If our aunt wishes, she can extend an invitation," said Elizabeth, politely refusing the introduction and warning the gentlemen to wait for a proper invite.

"Oh, nobody cares about that sort of thing nowadays Lizzy, and next we see him he'll be wearing regimentals," replied Lydia, as though a red coat would make him welcome regardless of decorum dictating an invitation.

"Lydia," she said, nodding her head in the direction they would be going, ensuring her sister understood she would wait no longer.

"Very well then Lizzy, as we will see them at the card party," sulked Lydia, avoiding further embarrassment, quite vexed at her sister.

As they were walking towards their aunts, having just caught up to Jane and Kitty, Mr. Bingley, Mr. Darcy, and Colonel Fitzwilliam arrived from the opposite direction, thus missing Mr. Wickham and the opportunity to preempt misunderstanding.

"May I present to you our cousin, whom we've only recently just met," offered Jane, politely but kindly pointing out the distance in relation. Even dear, sweet Jane blushed at being related to Mr. Collins.

Introductions went all around, and Mr. Collins did not miss the illustrious nephews of Lady Catherine De Bourgh. He took this opportunity, and every other, to praise his patroness to the heavens and assure them all he left her in good health. The Clergyman prattled on and on, not caring to allow so much as a response from the gentleman to his conversation. His discourse was truly one-sided, the present party was his audience and he may as well been on stage.

Good Lord, thought Richard, upon hearing his aunt's name, and now our aunt's insipid rector is upon us. Richard knew if Collins managed to infer one iota of Darcy's preference for Miss Elizabeth, Lady Catherine herself would sweep down upon them, flocking in from Kent, like bat out of hell, declaring Darcy was to marry her daughter. The man certainly did not appear discrete, though Richard guessed he would be happy to sermonize on discretion if the topic were brought to the fore.

He would not have put it past Lady Catherine to have deceived her parson so, she had been sharing that particular lie with anyone willing to listen, at least since Darcy's father had passed on to his eternal reward. But what of Elizabeth? Surely it wouldn't do to have her thinking Darcy engaged, it would hardly encourage her to form an attachment, she was not the type of woman to want a gentleman all the more for him being promised to another. Though Richard thought it rather inconvenient, he also granted it was a credit to her character.

Darcy was another matter entirely, Richard thought. He saw the less than discrete looks the Parson was giving Elizabeth. If Darcy discerned that man's designs on her, Richard wagered all of Darcy's pent-up self-regulation would result in an epic explosion of self-indulgence, and he would dash off and propose to her without courting her properly, mucking the whole matter up by failing to consider her feelings. Who knows what would come flying out of his mouth if he failed to consider it properly first. He had already lost his reason over that young lady more than once since arriving, Richard barely recognized him, seeing both better and worse in him. Darcy, so used to being under good regulation, was spinning out of control, overrun with emotion.

Richard's entire endeavor, in his opinion, was threatened on a dozen fronts, under assault by odd relations, scheming social climbers, and even the mismanagement of assumptions and manners by both parties primarily involved. He felt like he was watching the spark thrown that lit the London fire, so sure was he, that all his plans would burn. Richard knew not what to do as of yet, but his talent for strategy would be grievously tested trying to mitigate the damage his aunt's idiotic Clergyman was about to do to his battle plan, while the previously known obstacles were far from mitigated and still constantly causing obstructions.

While Collins was spouting his effusions, Elizabeth raised her eyebrows at Darcy, daring him to offer either insults or insights into their previously unknown connection. He blushed for having an Aunt who would hire such a rector and imagined her embarrassed to have such a ridiculous relation. Colonel Fitzwilliam, ever to the rescue, drew Collins into a conversation. Elizabeth and Darcy moved off to the side and she remarked, "I daresay your aunt must be a fearsome creature indeed. Mr. Collins has been kind enough to share her improvements, instructions, and opinions with us."

"You underestimate the Lady I assure you," he said with a brief smile then inquired "You've only just met your cousin then?"

"Indeed, he is to save Longbourne from the female line," replied Elizabeth, having long ago accepted Lounbourn's fate.

Darcy for his part thought the land and tenants would need saving from his aunt's imbecile, not a long line of ladies. His aunt, never liking to be contradicted, often choose instead to surround herself with a horde of less than discerning, weak-willed individuals, ever fawning and ever more anxious to please.

"Though he is a distant relation my father had at one point met his father and quite disapproved," Elizabeth went on to explain. "Apparently the man had no affinity for books," jested Elizabeth.

Darcy smiled and replied, "I daresay that would ruin any man's estimation in your father's eye. Though I am happy to resign the job of being his unwitting jester."

"You have the right of it, sir, my father prefers a good book to anything, except perhaps a good debate about the book, though the one would hardly do without the other," Elizabeth replied, tactfully ignoring his implication that her father had made sport of him and now Collins stood in his stead. She could well imagine what had transpired in her father's study before she arrived. Changing the topic, she next asked "Will we have the pleasure of your party's company at my aunt's card party?"

"I regret to say not, Miss Bingley has accepted another invitation, I'll not sport with your intellect, I daresay you know her motives."

Feeling Darcy to be on Jane's side, Elizabeth replied "Can I hope Mr. Bingley does as well?"

"Of that, I cannot give an earnest reply, he knows her temperament, but often fails to question her motives when easily explained away."

Elizabeth, appreciating Darcy's insight, nodded and left the matter at that. The party went their separate ways, promising to meet soon.