"Thus it is without justice or reason the extraordinary and bitter flame of jealousy of the flesh flares up in the heart of man."
---- VIII, A puff of wind, Les Misérables
CHAPTER 7: Timebomb
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Tidus
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She would always look a little out of place. There was no denying it. Her modest clothes, her polished manners, even the simple way she held herself; all betrayed a sense of foreigness.
Worse, it was an untracable foreigness. It often happened that strangers stopped to ask where she was from, mistaking her for some high born politician from one of the North-eastern countries. Tidus couldn't blame them. Yuna didn't look like some island castaway; her face had an almost Bevellian profile – refined, gracious - and her clothes and camellia white skin only seemed to confirm that fact. No matter what she did, there was always an air of nobility around her that made it difficult for her to blend in.
It was for that reason that he had tempted her to the East-A Plaza, the beating heart of Zanarkand's cosmopolitan culture. Here flocked the city's most colourful creatures – painted performers from Macalania, laughing as they pulled passersby into wild tumultuous dances and half-naked children, weaving their way in amongst blackened feet, sending merrymakers tumbling into each others' arms. Wizened Hypello from beyond the Moonflow were selling fortune spheres and other unidentified trinkets in a shadowy corner of the Plaza, while shady Al-Bhed tradesmen were setting up overpriced machina stalls nearby.
Happily, the Plaza had the desired effect – even Yuna was indiscernible from the crowd. She sat perched on the edge of a white marble fountain featuring the goddess Shiva. Silvery water rained from the Aeon's upturned palm and pooled at her slender feet. Yuna's chin lay nestled in the heel of her hand as she gazed contentedly into the night.
She looked very pretty indeed, her honey-coloured hair glistening under the hazy orange lamplight. Tidus, sitting close beside her, followed her wistful gaze to an eager Zanarkand child riding a Chocobo. When he asked her if she wanted to ride, however, she only shook her head shyly.
"You sure?" he pressed. "Don't worry about the gil; I've got enough to cover it." Money was one thing Tidus never lacked for. His father's fortune was considerable, and although Jecht himself seemed content to drink his half, he was strangely careful with his son's share, providing him with an ample allowance. It was the one thing Tidus couldn't hate him for.
"No," Yuna insisted. "Only it reminds me of Besaid. My father took me for Chocobo rides on the beach sometimes."
Tidus grunted half-heartedly. He realised he had painted a very harsh version of Yuna's old man in his head, a long stretch from her own protested point of view. She described her father as serious, quiet, protective – Tidus imagined him severe, unemotional, even cruel. A villain, a replica of his own old man. Which was probably why he took such great pleasure in helping Yuna, who seemed not to have the same freedoms as he himself, escape her father's authority.
But maybe, he reasoned, she was lamenting the loss of Besaid, rather than closeness with her father. The question had often been at the tip of his tongue – don't you ever miss your home? – but for some reason he had never asked her. Maybe because he didn't want to hear the wrong answer.
Lazily he raised his arms behind his head, stretching his muscles to their limit. They were sore from hours of Blitz practise, but it was a good ache. "Chocobos on Besaid too, huh? How about a shoopuff? Ever seen one?"
She blinked, looking startled, and did not answer for some moments. "I… I think maybe when I was little. The memory is very vague."
"A Ronso?"
"No."
"Hmm. A cactaur?"
"No," Yuna repeated, smiling strangely with one corner of her mouth. "Is this a test?"
"If it is you're not doing very well," he teased.
"Well then, maybe you should have a turn." She pushed herself lightly off the fountain's edge, dusted her hands, then clasped them behind her back. "Have you ever seen a Guado?"
"Sure, yeah." There's one in a Sphere in my father's closet, he almost added, but wasn't really sure if he was ready to talk about that yet. "Don't see them so much anymore, but there used to be a ton in Zanarkand. Hit me again."
"Okay. How about a moogle?"
"There's a moogle sanctuary in A-North, ha!"
"A chimera?"
"Once."
"Pictures don't count," she chimed, holding up an admonishing finger.
"Wasn't a picture, I'm telling you! Sometimes fiends wander in from Mount Gagazet. The Crusaders pick 'em off."
"Okay then… water flan?"
"A water-" He paused, then narrowed his eyes. "You made that up!"
"I did not!" But her eyes were sparkling and her smile carried a hint of mischief. Tidus leapt forward and tried to tickle her into a confession, but her small white hands batted him away. "I swear!" Yuna protested between giggles, "You get them in Besaid! I didn't make it up, I swear!"
As soon as he withdrew his hands she bounced backwards and punched the air in a victory gesture. "I win!"
Coming from Yuna, the gesture was quite adorable and Tidus couldn't help but smile at her. Her playful eyes twinkled back, causing him to notice the strangeness of them for the first time.
The iris of her left eye, he realised, was a striking emerald green, while her right was as blue as the ocean; as blue as his own.
"What is it?" she asked, visibly uncomfortable under his close study.
"Your eyes. They're two different colours… I'd never noticed before."
"You didn't notice?! Tidus!" Yuna seemed delighted; she broke into full and spontaneous laughter. It was an undeniably beautiful sound.
"Well, you always hide them!" he accused her, not ungently. "You're always looking down at the ground all the time, Yuna, like you've got something to be ashamed of."
She looked away, shyly.
"See, you're doing it right now!"
Determination rose up in him then, and he cupped her chin, gently but firmly lifting her face towards his. "You've got nothing to hide, Yuna. You're a beautiful girl. You should show it more often." She blushed like the sun and Tidus found himself remembering Lulu's insinuation. I like her, the ex-Guardian had commented. Just the type you need.
He was used to girls having crushes on him. But Yuna… she was different. Other girls were a fleeting smile, a flirtacious wink in passing, maybe a date or two. Yuna, she was something more precious than that. More than any of his other friends, she was his greatest source of conslation, of trust. And there was something else between them, too. Not just their missing mothers, or their secretive fathers, but…
He thought it might be that she needed him.
The silence stretched between them, Yuna's face still between his hands. He found himself contemplating those blue and green eyes.
"Hey guys!"
They broke apart, instantly; Wakka and the others had found them. Rikku had a cup of sweet ice happily in hand; Gippal looked bored, and Lulu as darkly beautiful as ever. She left Wakka's side and went to Yuna immediately – Yuna looked equally pleased to see her, if a little flustered.
It wasn't long before the two girls dragged behind the rest of the party, conversing as steadily as sisters.
"How are things going, man?" asked Wakka as they made their way out of the Plaza, clapping Tidus on the back. "Ready for the big game on Sunday?"
Rikku grinned at him, her lips stained ruby-red from the sweet ice. "Yeah, you guys are gonna kick their butt!"
"Hell yeah." The Ronso Fangs were strong, sure – brute strong - but that was the only reason thay had gotten this far in the league. Their bulk made them slow and clumsy in the water and they were no match for Wakka's smart plays.
"So where we headed?"
"Rin's," said Gippal immediately.
"Silverwings," said Tidus at the same moment. They looked at each other in surprise.
"Are you kidding? I'm not taking Yuna in there!"
"Afraid she's gonna get hit on? Thought you weren't interested."
"That's got nothing to do with---"
"Y'know, you talk about her old man sheltering her, but you're just as bad."
Tidus felt his fists clench in irritation. That one had touched a nerve. "What the hell do you know about it?"
"Come on, she's not a kid."
"Silverwings is classier," Wakka suggested, blissfully unaware of the undertones of their argument, or else pretending to be.
"Outvoted, Gippal!" said Rikku playfully, poking the sweet-ice cone at his face.
All she received for her troubles was a well-aimed scowl.
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They chose a table under the stars, wrapped in the cool night air.
Yuna had been shy at first, clutching her menu like a rock in a raging river, until Tidus plucked it from her fingers and gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. It wasn't long before she was sipping cocktails with Rikku, giggling over her glass. It was funny, he thought, he had never noticed the resemblance between the two girls before. In the dim orange lamplight they almost looked like sisters, with the same heart-shaped face, the same fringe of hair falling over their eyes.
Yuna sat between himself and Lulu – deliberately manouevered away from Gippal - and Tidus had never seen her so animated, not since the night he took her to the stadium. The air was thick with laughter, the remnants of music drifting outside.
Wakka, already a little tipsy after two bottles of frothy Kilikan beer, caught up a well-known melody about the Eternal Calm and sang it lustily, making the girls giggle and Lulu feign embarassment.
"My pops hates songs about Lord Braska," Rikku commented when he was done. "He won't let me or Brother play any in the house!"
"My father seems to tire of them too," Yuna admitted, unusually outspoken. "But in truth, sometimes I wonder about them myself." She turned to Lulu, face earnest. "You were a Guardian, Lulu. There's not a trace of Lord Braska's left in the whole of Spira, not in song or sphere or history book. Don't you think it's wrong that they should be forgotten?"
"It might not be what you think, Yuna. When Lady Ginnem died… I was thoroughly ashamed of myself." Lulu stared into her wine glass, absently swirling the rose-red liquid. Next to her, Wakka put a sympathetic hand on her shoulder, though it didn't change Lulu's solemnity of expression. "I didn't want to be known as a Guardian who failed her Summoner. All I wanted was that her bravery and courage were not forgotten. High Summoner Braska also died at the end of his pilgrimage. They defeated Sin, but he died. Some will still see that as a failure." She left her final words unspoken; myself included.
"But then Guardians could never fulfil their duties," Yuna protested, clearly trying to appease Lulu's guilt. "It would be a hopeless case to begin with."
"It's all a conspiracy, anyway," Gippal interrupted. "He didn't have any Guardians."
Tidus barked a laugh. Gippal and his conspiracies. He's spent too long with those crazies in the Youth League. "Of course he had Guardians. How could he have made the pilgrimage without someone to watch his back? No Summoner could do that."
Gippal took up the challenge. "No Summoner ever defeated Sin either. He had to have been good."
"No one's that good," Tidus insisted.
"Oh, I'm sorry, did someone die and make you the wise all-knowing one? I must have missed the memo. What's your version of events then, smartass?"
Tidus shrugged. "People just forgot them. Spira got their hero, didn't they? Why would they care about the rest?" He was aware of the bitterness underlying his own words, but he'd been taught the real meaning of 'hero' when his father came home ten years ago. No one cared what his son had to go through. "Anyway, Braska's pilgrimage was never very famous in the first place. It's probably lucky we know about him at all. Wasn't he disgraced or something?"
"It was said that Lord Braska was excommunicated, yes," said Lulu, clearly the most informed of the party. Tidus glanced sideways at Yuna and found her listening intently, cheeks flushed and eyes bright. "Some say through loss of chastity."
"Wouldn't blame him," Gippal shrugged. He got a sharp look from Lulu, of course. "What? If you knew you were about to die, you might wanna 'get some' on your way out, is all I'm saying."
"Don't be disgusting," hissed Lulu. Yuna was blushing, predictably, while Wakka tried not to laugh in front of his wife's stern gaze. It was Rikku who eventually broke the uncomfortable mood by snaking her arms around herself and saying, "I'm cold. Let's go inside?"
Silverwings' interior was deafening, bursting with chocobo racing games, snack dispensers and bandit machina. It also boasted several larger-than-life viewspheres, one for every taste. No one was surprised when Rikku ran off to admire the songstress sphere.
Tidus and Wakka, on the other hand, found themselves lingering too close to the Blitzball sphere and were soon surrounded by Abes enthusiasts. Lulu was forced to play hostess to Yuna in their absence, showing the bewildered girl to a table before she became lost in the throng.
Time passed like a blur under Silverwings' neon lights. With a little alcohol in his system, courtesy of his fans, Tidus felt warm and talkative, laughing loudly and boasting even louder, shaking hands with ever familiar face that crossed his path. He soon felt the lack of his real friends, however, and briefly removed himself from the Blitz talk to check his surroundings for them.
Rikku had eagerly involved herself in a linedance to a Lenne hit, while Lulu was nursing another glass of wine at the bar, deep in conversation with a silver-haired sphere hunter. Yuna, though, was harder to locate, and when he finally spotted her in Gippal's company, an uneasy sensation overcame him.
Gippal, ever the machina whiz kid, was trying his hand at a bandit game, and it wasn't long before he had silver spilling from the trays. I bet he rigged it somehow, Tidus speculated. The Al-Bhed cursed as the gil flowed too fast for his fingers, while Yuna tried her best to catch the coins in her skirts. He had to admit it - she looked kind of cute doing so. When she caught Tidus looking at her from across the room, she smiled brightly and gave a little conspiratory wave. He waved back, though found it more difficult to summon a smile.
Screw this, he thought, watching Gippal direct the flow of gil into the pleats of her skirt with an increasing sense of agitation. I should be keeping my promise to her, not signing blitzballs for strangers all night. He glanced back at Wakka, who was trying to motion Tidus back to his side with a subtle hand gesture, a silent plea for help. Alright. Two more drinks, decided Tidus. And I'm gone.
But gone was exactly how he found Gippal and Yuna some time later, with only two empty glasses and a handful of newly-won gil to show that they had ever been there at all.
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Yuna
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Yuna skipped forward a few paces, an attempt to catch up to Gippal's long-legged stride. The night air was chilly and it nipped at her bare upper-arms, leaving her to wonder why exactly they had chosen to leave the welcoming warmth of Silverwings.
"And you're sure the others are coming?" she pressed.
"I said so, didn't I?" If anything, Gippal sounded annoyed by the question. "They said go on ahead, okay? They'll catch up eventually."
The Al-Bhed led with a quiet confidence through the winding streets of the Zanarkand. As they passed brightly-lit boardwalks and dark, suspect alleyways, Yuna silently acknowledged that she would still be quite lost in this great metropolis, without a guide.
Rin's Tavern – "a real bar," according to Gippal - was their next stop. It had fazed her a little at first, the prospect of going on ahead with him, but after all, Tidus had done something similar before… when he sent Rikku to fetch her for the Blitzball match. Perhaps, she thought, she hoped, he just wants me to get to know his friends better. Some part of her wished he had sent Lulu instead though. Gippal was quite the one-way talker.
"So… you were in the Youth League?" she tried.
"Yup."
"… and New Yevon?"
"Not at the same time, obviously."
That left Yuna genuinely confused. "But then… are you a radical or a conservative?"
He grinned, showing teeth. "I'm a radical all the way, my Lady. I only joined New Yevon to annoy my Dad."
"Oh." She could hardly approve of such a reason, but then, she didn't know Gippal's father. Not everyone is as fortunate as you, she reminded herself.
"And now you're not in either faction?" she clarified.
"No." He jammed his hands in his pockets, looking uneasy. "I do some work for the Machine faction."
"What did you do?" she asked him. "In New Yevon, you know? These movements never really reached Besaid."
When she had first heard of the group, it had struck her as inappropriate that they had named it after the man who had condemned Spira to a thousand years of sorrow. It seemed to her a group that was not ready to face reality.
Gippal gave her a vague account of New Yevon's activities, which consisted mostly of insulting its various senior members. He didn't seem keen to talk about his experience there at length, however, so she didn't press the subject.
Her follow-up efforts at conversation were futile; Gippal was not rude, per say, but he did seem distracted, and almost always avoided eye contact with her. She wondered if it was because he had been burdened with her unwillingly, and was about to offer an apology along these lines when she was rescued by their arrival at Rin's.
Yuna liked the tavern on first sight; it just had character. The building was so dilapidated that it looked like it might be held up by a few well-placed float spells, while the sign was old and rain-beaten, one of its hinges rusted away. It looks like something from one of father's old storybooks. There was something strangely nostalgic about it all, she thought, something that tugged faintly at her heartstrings.
Under the sign Rin's Tavern there were faded painted letters in Al Bhed, barely legible – a poem of some sort. Yuna read it out to herself, slowly, fumbling over the words she found most difficult to pronounce. "Dra knyja cuim gaabc edc ufh calnadc… yht dygac edc ufh bihecrsahd eh cemahla," she quoted to herself. She tried to remember her father's lessons, so long ago on Besaid. " Does it mean… the wise person – or – the wise soul keeps its secrets... and… and takes the punishment—"
"—eh cemahla, in silence," Gippal finished for her. "You know Al-Bhed?"
"A little," she confessed.
His brow furrowed, his lips crooking upwards in what looked suspiciously like a smile. "You're full of surprises, Yuna."
"Is it a warning?" she asked him. "The poem?"
He shrugged. "I guess. A lot of shady deals go down here. If you're smart you wanna keep 'em to yourself. It's an inn as well, you know. Come on, let's go in already. It's freakin' cold out here."
Yuna didn't disagree.
Rin's bar was indeed quite unlike Silverwings; they were even forced to try and clear their own table of the cluttered remnants of the previous party's exploits before making room for their own drinks. When the barkeep came to clear away the empty tankards, however, his eyes were quickly distracted by Yuna.
"Do I know you, girl?" he asked in his heavy Al-Bhed accent.
"I don't think so," said Yuna shyly.
"You seem familiar. You look--"
"She's new to Zanarkand," Gippal interrupted, helpfully. "Ain't ya, my Lady?" He clapped a heavy hand on her shoulder, used it as a prop to draw himself to his feet. "Listen, I'm gonna go get some drinks, Yuna. Stay put."
"It's true, my father and I only arrived here very recently," she told the barkeep, when Gippal had gone. "Really I'm from Besaid. It's an island off the coast of Luca. Down in the south."
"That so?" He said quietly. "You have an eastern look."
"Well, my father was from Bevelle," she began eagerly, delighting to talk of Auron. "He trained to be a warrior monk at the Temple, specialised in katana…" Suddenly Yuna checked herself, wondering why a stranger would be so interested in her life. She noticed that he had barely touched the empty glasses since she began her story. "Well… and that is why, you see," she finished abruptly.
Perhaps noticing her sudden uneasiness, Rin bent to his work, dragging a dirty rag across the table to soak up the spilt foam of cheap Bikanel beer. He did not seem to have finished his interrogation, however.
"And what are two Southerners doing way up here?" He tried to ease her with a smile, but Yuna did not think it was genuine, somehow. His swirled green eyes were more serious. "Long way from home."
Yuna hesitated. "I--"
"Yuna!"
Abruptly she turned to see none other than Tidus striding quickly towards her. She rose to greet him, delighted, and at the same time secretly glad of the excuse to break her conversation with Rin. "Finally you all arrived!" she smiled at him, glimpsing Rikku, Lulu and Wakka approaching at his tail.
It was only when they made eye contact that she realised he did not look so happy to see her.
"Gods, Yuna, what-" he began, then paused to catch his breath. He ran a distressed hand through his blonde hair, then, without seeming aware of what he was doing, placed his hands firmly on the sides of her shoulders. "Why the hell d'you leave like that, huh? We were all worried about you!"
It was the angriest speech he had ever uttered towards her. She shook her head, utterly lost. "But… Gippal said that you told us to go on ahead."
Tidus' face darkened at her words, and she did not miss the way his grip tightened on her shoulders.
"Where – is - he?"
"Um," said Yuna, still a little bemused. She glanced over her shoulder, remembering Rin, but the barkeep had long gone. "At the bar, I think. He said he went to get drinks for… but, are you alright?"
She stole a glance into his blue eyes, surprised by what she saw there. Once again he seemed, not her Tidus, but rather the Tidus she had seen that day in the Blitzball field – fierce, remote. He loosened his grip on her shoulders and strode into the throng without another word.
"Whatever's the matter?" Yuna asked Lulu, when the mage appeared at her side.
"Gippal did not mention to us that you two were leaving, Yuna. We were a little worried."
"No," reasoned Yuna, grasping for an explanation. "That can't be right. Why in Spira would he-"
The rest of her question was drowned out as commotion erupted deeper into the bar. There was the scraping of wood across the floor, a clatter like a stool falling over, and a pained yell.
Yuna and Lulu arrived at the scene just in time to see Gippal's fist connect with Tidus' jaw, sending the Blitzer staggering backwards into another stool. He recovered his ground quickly, however, and launched himself with a fury at the Al-Bhed boy. The impact sent both combatants tumbling to the floor.
Clearly it was neither an unfamiliar nor unwelcome scene to the customers of Rin's Tavern; a crowd was steadily gathering around the two boys, seemingly pleased by the entertainment, whooping and shouting, some even yelling helpful advice.
Tidus grabbed Gippal's collar, pulled his head from the ground and returned the punch he had just received with energy. A split purple bruise had appeared on the Blitzer's jaw, but Gippal looked no better, a track of blood running from his nose. He screamed obsceneties at his friend, while Tidus had a concentrated look of cold fury on his face.
Yuna called out with the rest; though she seemed to be the only one who was not shouting encouragement, and soon found herself behind the bulk of the crowd, straining to see past broad shoulders and stocky physiques. Lulu, on the other hand, seemed quite nonplussed at her side.
"Their friendship has always been volatile at best," she explained over the noise.
"Is it because of me?" Yuna asked her.
"They're just silly boys," said Lulu, but Yuna noticed that she avoided the question.
It took Rin and Wakka several tries to guage them off of one another. Gippal was still yelling expletives at his friend, but Tidus was murderously silent, wiping blood from his lip. His silver earring glinted under the green light.
"Take it outside!" Rin was yelling, looking less than amused. "I don't want you destroying my bar!"
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Some time later, Yuna found herself awkwardly perched on a wooden bench beside Rikku, waiting for the storm to calm. Some distance away, near the water's edge, Lulu seemed to be confronting the difficult task of mediating between the two boys, who were both scowling.
"Yunie?"
"Hmm?"
"Did he kiss you?"
Yuna blinked, uncomprehending. She almost hadn't heard the question, quiet as it had been. "Kiss me? Who do you mean?"
"Gippal," Rikku clarified. "Did he kiss you?"
"Oh, Rikku. No." Yuna, quite mortified, put a hand on Rikku's shoulder. "No, no, of course not. Why would you think that?" Oh no, is that what they all think? Her stomach gave an uneasy turn; she certainly hoped Tidus didn't think so.
"Oh… I just thought… maybe he liked you or something." Rikku shrugged, uncharacteristically morose.
"It's not like that at all, I didn't know, I-" Yuna paused, peered into Rikku's averted eyes. Suddenly the most sensible reason for the question presented itself to her. "Do you… like Gippal, Rikku?"
Rikku shrugged, unconvincingly. "We've been friends ever since we were little. He just sees me as a little kid."
Yuna did too, most of the time. It was hard not to. Rikku looked and acted like a little kid, after all. But she knew that appearances could be deceiving. Her father was fearsome looking in the right mood, but he had the kindest heart.
"He only likes the pretty girls…" Rikku confided to the table. "You know, the sexy ones."
"Rikku," Yuna admonished, not without affection. "You are pretty, you're a beautiful girl. All the girls back in Besaid used to be wildly jealous of people like you with that sunlight in your hair, including me." She touched a lock of Rikku's golden hair lightly, and smiled into the other girl's eyes.
It had the desired effect; the ghost of a smile appeared on Rikku's face. "Really, Yunie?"
"Really."
"They all want hair like mine?"
"That's right. In Besaid, you might be as famous as Lenne, you know."
The Al-Bhed giggled. "Really? But it's normal here. To have all kinds of different hair."
Yuna had to smile. "So I see. But they wouldn't think so, back on Besaid. It's a very small place and most people have dark hair like mine, or my father's."
Quite forgetting about Gippal, Rikku began to quiz Yuna about other Besaidian customs – what kind of clothes did they wear there? Were the boys handsome? Were they tall? Were the accents so different here?
It was clear that some of Yuna's own naivety had been stripped away. She rather thought that Gippal was a poor choice for Rikku, for anyone, in such a volatile stage. She could see now that she had misjudged the Al Bhed boy's intentions.
Suddenly she was reminded of her very first day in Zanarkand, when her father had admonished her for leaving his protection. You are not in Besaid anymore, Yuna, he had lectured. These people are not the friendly islanders you know so well. You need to be on your guard. For the first time she took those words to heart.
She and Rikku were still talking when Lulu approached. "The fire has been quenched for the time being," she informed them. "They are each cooling off in their own way."
"Where's Gippal?" Rikku asked, biting her lip.
"Gone home, I imagine. Or perhaps another bar." She wrinkled her nose in distaste.
"Maybe I'll just go and see if he's okay." The Al-Bhed girl pushed herself off the bench with more force than was necessary and left, half-running.
Lulu shook her head softly, smoothing her dress and coming to sit in Rikku's vacated space. Their skirts mingled, Lulu's black lacy folds coming to rest beside Yuna's own midnight blue pleats.
"Please don't trouble yourself over tonight, Yuna," the older woman pressed. "There's a history there that you're unaware of. And Gippal has always been something of a ticking Al Bhed bomb. It was only a matter of time before something like this happened."
Yuna nodded briefly, unconvinced but trying not to show it.
"Yuna, may I ask you something?"
She blinked at the unexpected request. "Of course, Lulu."
"Tidus mentioned to me that you had not told your father about your meetings with him, with us."
Yuna cast her eyes to the ground. She did not really need to be reminded of the fact; it was never far away from her conscience. She thought about her father on his journey now, unaware of the face that his daughter was running wild in the city with strangers. She thought about the kitten he had given her, sleeping innocently on her bed. Then she thought about Tidus and his father, and Gippal and his. A wave of guilt threatened to swallow her whole.
"You know," Lulu was saying in a gentle tone. "Wakka and I are hoping to be parents someday. If you were our daughter… we'd want to know."
Yuna sighed, turning her gaze upwards to the stars. They filled the Zanarkand sky, soft and white and impenetrable. Somehow, it was easier to justify her choices to them than to the mage at her side, for they alone had witnessed all her memories, and could judge her fairly.
She leaned backwards on the bench, resting her weight on her hands. "Almost as far back as I can remember, it's always been the two of us. Father and I." Her voice sounded very far away in her own ears, almost wistful. "It was lonely, but at the same time it wasn't, you know? We never needed anyone else."
Truth be told, she had never wanted anyone else. Back on Besaid, she had always preferred her father's company to the other islanders. Perhaps it was his insight of the wider world, or his patience with her, the protective gentleness in all his gestures. But most of all, she thought, it was because to be in his company was to be loved, the only love she had ever known.
"My father is a good man. But I can see that his past is painful. He has scars, mysteries, ghosts that he will not share with me. We never speak about my mother. Though… I asked him about her once, just once, when I was young."
"And what did he say?"
Nothing, Yuna thought. He did not say a single word. Yet she thought the look he had given her would haunt her forever.
"I would rather never know her name," she told Lulu, "than see that pain in his eyes again." As Yuna confessed it she knew it to be true. Auron sheltered and sustained her; if all she could do in return was spare him the smallest pain, then she would do so uncomplaining.
"I am all that he has. I'm not being selfish," she continued, realising the weight of her own words. "I'm not. Please don't think so. I know the world does not revolve around me, you know? But… for so long, we've lived for each other alone. If he knew that there was someone else in my life that…" Lulu arched an eyebrow, and Yuna found herself hesitating, unable to express the vehemency of her feelings about Tidus out loud, unsure even herself what those feelings were. "If he knew… I think it might break his heart."
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Gippal
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The thought of going home hadn't crossed his mind yet. He didn't think he could stand the sight of his parents right now, probably screaming at each other while his mother hurled his father's precious machina across the room. That, or his old man would be curled up weeping in his study again, cradling that stupid memory sphere.
No, Gippal intended to be very drunk before he made himself face either of those charming scenes. At the very least, drunk enough that he wouldn't have to remember it in the morning.
He drained the last of his beer and moved on to his next. Rin's bar was nearly empty, most of the regulars ready to stumble home. Cid's girl had come by earlier, looking for him, but he had still been too livid to talk to her civily. I guess I was pretty cold to her, he reflected. The guilt that accompanied the thought only served to make him feel more irritable. She was a harmless little thing, really, but her enthusiasm wasn't always the best ingredient when there was anger in the mix.
And there had definitely been enough of that to go around. Tidus had appeared as if from nowhere, swearing at him, asking what the hell he thought he was playing at. Gippal had just snapped, and made a comment about Yuna that he probably shouldn't have.
He knew why he'd done it now, though he hadn't at the time. He did it because Tidus had told him not to, and he was so gods-damned tired of being told what to do. The idiot acted like he wasn't interested in Yuna, then had the gall to throw possessive looks whenever Gippal came near her. The entire evening, every one of the Blitzer's looks had been don't talk to her when I'm not there, you're not taking her there, don't get any ideas, don't flirt with her, don't go near her, I'm warning you.
And the way the rest of them had kept brushing aside his opinion, deferring to Tidus on every subject like he was suddenly the leader of their little gang. A Blitzball uniform and a hotshot pool record didn't make you king of Zanarkand, but no one seemed to know that around here.
Cred, all I did was stop treating his girl like a five year old, and everyone acts like I've run over his dog with a machina.
The shy little island maiden wasn't really his type, it was true. He preferred a girl he could actually banter with, without the need to disguise flirting under blushes and hints and smalltalk. But there was something about Yuna that undeniably drew you to her. He thought it might be the fact that she actually listened when you talked. His own mother couldn't even do that.
"I'll have a cactaur juice and tonic water, barkeep."
A woman's drink, Gippal thought automatically. He watched as the barkeep accepted gil from a girl sitting a few stools away from his own. Her clothes were those of a hardened traveller – she had a hunting knife tucked into her mud-encrusted boot and a ragged utility belt strapped firmly around her small waist. She was also very pretty, despite the wear-and-tear.
"Hey, beautiful," he murmured, grinning at her.
The woman glanced at him briefly, wrinkled her nose with disdain.
"You're in the Youth League, right?" he said, glancing at the symbol on her sleeve. "You a sphere hunter? Work for Nooj?"
She ignored him, pulling the drink towards her, taking a tentative sip. It seemed satisfactory; she smacked her lips and took a longer, lustier draught.
"I got spheres," Gippal confided, more to his glass than anyone else. "A whole bunch of 'em."
She seemed amused, if anything. "Is that right?"
"You don't believe me, but I did. Really ancient ones, too. There was a Guado…"
His eyelids felt suddenly heavy. He tried to remember what else he'd seen in Jecht's room, but for some reason even the memory of what he'd done yesterday was beginning to go blurry. What was I talking about? Ti's old man… the sphere. The sword. And…Some part of him warned not to say anymore.
"Well anyway, there was a Guado in one of 'em," he pointed out.
"Some Blitzball match, was it?" She was still trying to feign disinterest, but it was impossible to miss the way she leaned slightly forward on her stool, eager to hear more.
"Guadosalem."
"That sounds very interesting," she intoned. She was leaning close to him now, close enough that he could smell her perfume, cloyingly sweet. "Can I buy you another drink?"
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AUTHOR'S NOTES
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NEXT CHAPTER: Trouble, talk, tears and tiyuna sweetness.
THIS CHAPTER: You're probably all confused at the last scene. It'll explain itself in due time.
Did Tidus seem too bitter? I'm having trouble writing his character. Yuna's so easy… but getting inside a guy's psyche?
Also, don't hurt me, angry Gippal fans! I'm not making him into a villain, I swear. He's just a teenager who's fed up of authority and who has a hard time at home, so he's drawn to Yuna's sort of innate motherly kindness. And he's gonna redeem himself big time later on.
Review replies
Beaucoup riant, thankyou so much for your review, really made me reflect on the story. You mentioned Yuna's weakness and Auron's excessive parenting in this story. I certainly took the comment to heart and I know exactly what you mean. I think one of the reasons for this is that I'm modelling Yuna and Auron's relationship on the Cosette and Valjean relationship from the Les Miserables novel. That paternal bond was something I've always adored in literature and I always wanted to recreate it. Auron is almost insensible in his protectiveness of Yuna, and Yuna is almost unbelievably innocent. It's not as realistic, I agree. I'm just going for the romantic here because that's what I prefer. Even Tidus is more romantic than realistic, I imagine his inner thoughts are a lot more gentle than those of a typical boy his age would normally be. That said, Yuna will grow throughout the story. She's been sheltered far too much, has never really done anything on her own and is only now being shown how to open up by Tidus. Even in this chapter her innocence starts to recede a little.
Claire – thankyou very much, and I will! As long as people keep reading
Imp4ever – will maintain cuteness standards for your sake ;)
Miss Aerith – no worries, I don't plan on stopping anytime soon! And they're both 17 in the story, fyi.
Stee – I only finished the game recently too, I'm glad this story strikes a chord with you.
Daianapotter – Thankyou so much, I will!
Whitephoenix33 – ah, thanks so much for all your reviews, they came as a nice big bundle! And I think you were the only person to predict what would happen in this chapter!
Cocoapuffaddict – yes, me too, they are my OTP, as they say!
Taela – Eek, thankyou so much for your constructive review. I'm so glad that you find it easy to fall into the changing character POVs, it's really hard for me to tell how smoothly it reads for my reviewers. And the Tidus/Yuna interactions are what inspire me to write the most – it's everything else that's difficult to write!
Sam – Ack, I'm blushing. Thankyou for your consistently kind reviews. I'm glad you find it sweet, which is what I'm going for, and good to hear I'm not overdoing the drama.
sanchez2010 – Hmm, it will happen in the next few chapters, you think? Are you sure Tidus is smart enough to realise yet? Better wait and see! ; )
That belle – I'm glad, please keep reading!
bicheon – Yes Ma'am! –salutes-
Vandevere – I always thought Auron would have made a wonderful father figure if he hadn't had to go through the trauma of seeing both his companions die, confronting Yunalesca and err… being an undead for 10 years. Glad you think so too!
lambs – Thankyou so much for your in-depth review, it was a joy to read. It's reviews like yours that really make my day. Everything that you mentioned that you enjoyed, I will try to keep up a high standard of.