Chapter 67
To Lydia it felt like a foreign notion; every word her aunt had just spoken was the opposite of what she had known her entire life. It was contrary to every way of thinking that had informed her conduct since she had been out; though her aunt's words made sense, especially in light of her present situation, it was difficult to trust that matters were truly so entirely different than she had believed them to be.
Her mother went on and on about how her liveliness would find her a husband faster than Jane's beauty, insisting that her good looks would turn heads. If what her aunt was saying about virtue, manners, and morals was to be believed, why wouldn't either of her parents have warned her? Mary often threatened her with "loss of virtue" and "damnation," but she could never believe God would wish to be surrounded with such deary dispositions. Hadn't he said there would be great houses and parties in heaven? Jane and Elizabeth did often tell her how she ought to behave, but she had always assumed it was jealousy, as they had never informed her why. Did they expect her to just know? If what her aunt had told her was true, it seemed every woman but she had known why, it's like it was some great secret no one had let her in on. What her aunt called unbecoming flirtation her mother referred to as a very attractive liveliness of spirit.
Suddenly gone was the ability to dismiss any thought that argued against her enjoyment; which had always in the past buoyed her spirits instantly. Instead, was the haunting and unnerving notion that her life may not work out in the way she had imagined, but then, if one could obtain the life they wished merely but thinking they should have it, why would not everyone be similarly arranged? For the first time in her life, it occurred to her that others were not foolish for not insisting on the best. She thought she and Wickham would have a fine house if her aunt was to be believed they would not have been able to afford it. He made not much more than her pin money, all things considered. Her aunt had explained they could not have had a servant, that she would need to see to the household, nor would he likely ever be able to pay for a promotion.
She sat on her bed as Mrs. Gardiner made her way to the door, wise enough to know her niece would do better to have time to herself; Lydia's spirit was such that she would only rebel if pushed further. One's instinct was to defend one's self when told they were in the wrong. Her father's profession had taught her many things, but one of the most useful was that, at times, one had to choose between being right and winning. It was far more important for Lydia to choose a better life, than for herself to prove that she had the moral high ground by winning an argument.
She had explained to her selfish niece why it mattered to her that society's rules had been violated. That she may never attend another dance, that she may never receive another caller, that she may be left with all the consequences of their actions if the next steps were not taken with care. She explained what Wickham had meant when he tossed the change and watched as her niece's eyes bulged. Lydia needed to understand there would be no returning to her previous life. That it was no small matter to find a husband for a ruined girl, and if she was ruined so would her sisters be. If none of them married, she explained the poverty that they would live in, smartly leaving out that their uncle would provide assistance. She explained to her niece that as she had not the education her elder sisters did, she would not qualify as a governess or even a companion. However, with her ability to provide the latest hairstyles and remake bonnets, she may end up with the coveted role of a lady's maid. Her niece gasped, incredulous, insisting she were a gentleman's daughter. Mrs. Gardiner pointed out what little benefit that was with no income. After her father's death, she would fall both in status and living standards.
Mrs. Gardnier shut the door quietly seeing the thoughts race through her niece's head. Her niece was failed greatly by her parents, not only should she not have been out among their neighborhood, she should not have been turned loose on a camp full of officers with no understanding of the implications of her behavior. She hoped, for the sake of all of the Bennet girls, that Lydia would accept whatever suitor Darcy brought to the door. Though it was a harsh punishment for a girl who was not equipped yet to be in society, she knew the world would be much harder on all the girls if this matter was not made right.