Michelle had connected that I was pregnant with peter's baby.

I stared at her, waiting for her to talk, waiting for the accusations, the lectures, the yelling to begin but she struggled to put a sentence together as she stared at me. I knew I probably looked incredibly guilty and that wasn't going to help my situation, but she had caught me staring at Peter, she had found out because I was an idiot. Finally, she started to talk and put me out of my misery.

"Does Nick know?"

Why was she asking about Nick? Surely, he would be the last person on her mind right now, I also didn't expect the calmness in her voice, no anger just shock and curiosity.

"Nick? Why would he – "

"Carla, he broke up with his girlfriend for you, you know the pregnant one, you need to tell him."

She had a point, Nick deserved to know the paternity of my baby, especially with the past Peter and I shared that Nick was interweaved in. The father to my baby wasn't some mystery or new man, he was my ex-husband who had moved back, and it wasn't fair to hide that. Before I could reply or fight my case, Michelle began again.

"Carla he should know that you are pregnant."

He should know that I was – wait, just that I was pregnant? Suddenly my mind was racing to try and figure out what had just happened, to unfold what wasn't being said. In my paranoid state, I had mistaken my best friend for a mind reader apparently, she hadn't figured anything out, she just had a thought come to her. I almost laughed at the direction this conversation could have taken.

"Chelle, calm down, he does know, you may not like it, and I am sorry, he knew before you did."

"Wow, you bitch."

The insult was light-hearted, and I didn't feel any sting from her words as her shoulders sagged in relief, she always threw herself into my life and problems, she was too empathetic for her own good. We both laughed to ease the tension that had formed and had fun with each other. We were talking about anything and everything until Erica came over with our next round of soft drinks, and I, like a coward, hid my face from her, unable to look at her. Erica's appearance did trigger my thoughts though as I steered the direction of the conversation to a new path to kill my curiosity.

"So how did you find out and about me and Nick?"

"I told you, Erica."

"No, I mean… what did she say?"

I don't know I whispered the last bit instead of just talking like a normal person, but it suddenly felt very private to ask that like it was a secret between us.

"I told you, you'll have to ask your new boyfriend when are you seeing him next."

Every time she spoke about Nick or the idea of us in a relationship now, she took of a sing-song voice and acted like he was my first crush at school or something, it was ridiculous, but I knew my smile and blush gave me away and encouraged her. She waited patiently for my answer refusing to give an answer to me, she was always taking but I guess it was fun, neither of we had been in a properly new relationship for a very long while so it was exciting.

"Tonight actually, he was going to bring round cake, I said I'll text him and he'll come round when he's free."

"Get home and text him then."

She jumped up, practically pushing me off my stool but I resisted, laughing at her antics confused at her rush as she spoke again.

"You don't want to keep him waiting Carla."

"Chelle, I'm hardly going to keep him waiting, he'll still be working, I'll be at home twiddling my thumbs bored. Or, I could stay here, twiddling my thumbs with you as company."

"Oh please, he will be waiting for you to text and be pretending he has a family emergency or something so he can run out of the door just to see you, you're in your honeymoon face, he will be begging to see you."

"Give over."

Even if my words insisted that I wanted to stop, I knew my face was giving the opposite impression as I felt my face heat in a blush and a small shy smile appeared as a small part of me knew she was right. I guess I was afraid that she wasn't, I would be thinking he would be round any minute wanting to see me as desperately as I wanted to see him, but he would show his face hours later needing to stay at work.

"In any way, Nick wouldn't fake a family emergency."

"Oh, wouldn't he? Know all about Nick, do we?"

She was mocking me, and I imagined this is what it would have been like in school if we were friends then if we got along then like we do now.

"No, it's because everyone on this street knows everyone and Leanne would probably ask Gail or something."

"Oh my God, Gail. If you two get married, your mother-in-law with being Gail. That's hilarious."

"Steady on Chelle, we haven't even had a proper first date yet."

She was too busy laughing at her own joke and that's when I realised that it probably was best that I leave, twiddle my thumbs at home instead of here is the butt of every joke. As she was too busy laughing, I slipped my coat back on and stood there waiting for a goodbye when she had finally calmed down.

"Oh, you're off then?"

"Yeah, should probably get back – "

"And text your boyfriend."

"Shut up."

I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and made my exit, I didn't miss the eyes of Peter Barlow following me as I passed him and the appreciative look, he sent my way. He was attracted to me and I couldn't fault him for that, I did use him and that attraction only months ago, he just wasn't being subtle right now. So, instead of reacting, I carried on walking, straight out of the pub without giving him a second thought and walked straight back to my apartment as my mind replayed the look of lust and appreciation from Peter on a loop in my head until I shut my front door and tried to shake them away.

I pulled my phone out and sent a quick text to Nick.

'Back home, safe and sound, just waiting for cake.'

To kill time, I moved to my bedroom and checked my appearance in the mirror, Nick had already seen me in a state, having visited when I was doing a face mask, late at night with no makeup, I still wanted to look good. So, I topped up my mascara, ran a brush through my hair, and changed into a fresher blouse with a quick spray of perfume to freshen me up a bit. Just as I was done primping myself, a knock echoed in my flat, confused, I walked over to the door not knowing who it could be.

Although I hated to say it, Michelle was right, I opened the door to a smiling Nick Tilsley as he waited with his hand outwards to display a takeaway box that I assumed was from the Bistro and was filled with the promised cake. I stepped aside, motioning for him to come in, and nervously brushed my hands down my skirt to smooth it. He deposited the box on my kitchen island and when I got closer gave me a quick peck on the lips before speaking. It felt like we were a married couple already with the simple gestures and the innocent touches.

"The very best chocolate cake that I could steal from my own restaurant as requested."

"Why thank you. Fork?"

"Yes please."

We moved so well together and simply, we were both now seated at the island on stools I hardly used, sharing cake out of a box with nothing being said. We would occasionally send smiles back and forth to prevent things getting awkward and more than a few times we laughed at our forks hitting, fighting for the same piece.

It wasn't long before the cake was demolished, and the box was in the recycling, we were standing facing each other again, neither of us saying a word. His hands reached to my hips and pulled me to him, my hands instinctively found their way to his shoulders. One of my hands fiddled with the edge of his blazer, trying to keep busy, not looking at his face I uttered my question, slightly embarrassed for being so curious.

"Michelle said you spoke to Erica about us."

"That I did."

"Care to share what was said or is that a secret I couldn't handle?"

"Hmmm…"

He was messing with me as he continued to smile at me, and we rocked side to side with our hands still on each other. I couldn't help myself but to lean over and peck him on the lips, it wasn't just Michelle that was acting like she was in school, I had been doing more than innocent pecks since I was fifteen. His happiness after that simple gesture had me feeling good though so I tried to rid that thought from my head and focus on the here and now.

"So…"

"Well, she came in the Bistro earlier, just after you left."

"I know, I walked past her."

"She came over to invite me to the scan and to make sure we were still good, you know, no hard feelings, no resentment, she was happy I was happy."

"She took that a lot better than I did."

If Peter had done that when I was pregnant the first time, he came to me one morning and told me he was breaking up with me even though I was pregnant and then I walked in on him snogging another girl, I would have killed him probably her. He still wasn't telling me everything though as Michelle said that Nick had told Erica about me, there was still more to the story.

"That all? Because I have a little birdy, you might know who told me that I was also a topic of conversation."

"Well, you might have come up."

"Yeah?"

"We talked about you, the reason I was happy, apparently I had been walking around like I had a huge weight on my shoulders and when she saw me today it was the first time in ages, I didn't look like I was carrying it. I think it may have been me carrying around my not-so-hidden feelings for you. I told her that we were in a relationship as I think it's only fair, she should find out from me as I am the father of her baby."

He had a point, Erica was always going to be a part of his life now and a big part, she deserved to know, especially after only being broken up with this morning. A pretty shitty thing for Nick to do but I was being selfish and ignoring that, just enjoying having him call mine. Then it hit me, had I told Peter that Nick and I were in a relationship? This was slightly different as I was the one actually carrying the baby and being with someone else. Peter needed to hear it from me but with the main people knowing about the relationship being gossips and not knowing it needed to be a secret, it had probably already reached him. I was filled with guilt and annoyance at myself, I needed to stop just acting, look at the bigger picture, and make sure everything works together, not just bits and pieces. I was so selfish.

"You alright?"

"Me? Yeah."

"You just seemed off in your own world there."

"No, I'm fine, sorry just thinking."

"I didn't freak you out, did I?"

"No, not at all, you know me, constantly thinking."

Then to stop any more questioning I moved closer to him and watched as his eyes followed my body until there was no space left between us and my lips were on his, kissing and my hands roaming the back of his head moving every hair, just trying to feel him. Technically this was the first real kiss that wasn't happening with eyes on us, and it was messy, uncoordinated, and mind-blowing. Nick was a softer kisser, cleaner, the opposite of me and we clashed as we kissed but I kept going refusing to back down as his hands roamed my back and one confidently slipped under my back touching bare skin.

I felt like I was running out of air as I forgot how to breath and my body moved on its own accord, doing what it wanted, which was to close any possible space between me and Nick that might magically appear. I was surprised I hadn't pounced on him already with how eagerly my body was responding. All too soon though, Nick gently pulled away causing himself to groan slightly and I saw his puffy just kissed lips knowing that mine wouldn't look any better, it was a good look on him, one that I hoped he would wear often nowadays.

"So, how was your day?"

"The longest day of my life, too much happened, things should have happened one day at a time."

"what do you mean?"

"Like this morning, finding out I was pregnant should have been one day, and then the next day, I get together with you, then another day Michelle finds out I'm pregnant, then another day this. You know what I mean, it was just a lot, and I don't know… is this what my life is going to be now that I'm carrying a baby?"

"I'm sorry."

"That's not what I meant – "

"No, I know. I'm sorry that life has been hectic for you."

He pulled me in for a hug, my head resting on his shoulder and I had the comfort feeling like I could relax after not realising how tense I had been all day. I hadn't fully processed everything that had happened, it had truly felt like a turning point in my life and if was the direction it was going in, I wasn't looking forward to it. Slowly, Nick and I walked over to the sofa and sat down together as he was ready to play the unwilling counsellor as my mood dropped.

"I'm sorry, I should have waited, I mean you're right, today was a lot and that wasn't fair of me. I had just broken up with Erica this morning and was badgering only hours later after you had just found out you were pregnant. I should have waited, it wasn't fair of me to you, to Erica, or myself."

He wasn't even the core reason for my low mood right now, it was everything I was struggling to control, not being able to control them anymore. Then it hit me, today felt like it was going forever and like it was never-ending as there wasn't anything I could control, my life was moving with or without me and it was spiralling me out of control. I didn't control the fact I was pregnant; I wasn't in control of Peter or Nick confessing his feelings, I wasn't in control of Michelle and her reactions, I was just floating through and I was depressed at that fact.

Then Nick spoke again, trying to comfort me even though he didn't understand, I couldn't make him understand my issues either.

"How about next time, we wait 24 hours after we think about things before acting."

"That sounds like a plan."

"Good, less pressure, you really don't need it anymore especially now."

Trying to end the unwanted help, I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss with a smile as I wanted to at least thank him silently for trying. He smiled back at me thinking that he had been successful in lightening my mood and stood.

"I should probably get going, let you rest."

"No, it's ok."

"Carla, it's been a long day for both of us, I'll see you tomorrow, I can't let you go that easily."

He assumed me not wanting him to leave was him rejecting me, but it was just that I wanted something that I controlled today, not letting someone else controlling my life. Right now, with my mind the way it was right now, I really wanted someone there to offer me comfort.

"Why don't you stay the night?"

"I don't think that's the best – "

"Just to sleep, mister, keep your mind clean."

Moments later, we were settled in my bed, lying side by side and It was strange having someone that wasn't Michelle lying next to me in the bed. My mind was racing though, so I tried to finally the empty air with mindless conversation even though I should probably be sleeping.

"So, when is the scan with Erica?"

"Next week…"

He took my silence negatively instead of the truth which was that I just didn't know what to say.

"I could always come with you to yours so that you don't have to go alone."

"No, it's fine, I'm not going alone."

"Oh, is Michelle going with you?"

"No… the baby's dad wants to come."

"Oh, Ok."

Just like he did, I couldn't help but worry at his silence.

"You don't mind, do you?"

"Mind, No why would I?"

"Might just be awkward or something, I don't know."

"Why would it be awkward, we weren't together, and you hooked up with someone, it's no big deal, it's not like it's Steve or Roy or even flaming Peter Barlow."

I should have just gone to sleep.

Thank you again for all the support, I know this isn't my usual type of story but it's nice to do something slightly different and I definitely want to keep learning and growing