A/N: New chapter is up! A lot happens in this one, so I hope you enjoy it.
Soon I will be all finished my job until I start school in September, meaning I can get a lot of writing down in that month, until I won't be posting much. Hopefully I can get a good portion of the story finished before I go to school. Don't want to leave anyone hanging! :)
Edited August 2021
-oOo-
Hermione darted up to her room after kissing James and cried in her bed. She cried for herself and her inability to show her affection. Acting on it would result in disaster; she knew it. Peter would discover them and it would bring darkness over all of her friends. She wouldn't lose Remus and Sirius again. She wouldn't allow Lily to die sacrificing herself.
James.
James would not stand against Voldemort wandless.
Peter would be dealt with and Hermione would watch as her friends found love. Remus and Lily would get married and have their own children, Sirius would have a chance to settle down, or be a constant bachelor. James would move on. Any girl would love to be with him, he deserved to be with a normal girl. He said he would wait, but was she worth it? Would she come out of this more broken than her last war, or would she even survive? James needed to move on, and she couldn't confuse him by saying one thing, yet doing another.
Hermione cried herself to sleep thinking of James and a future she didn't deserve.
Hermione was curled in on herself laying in the bed silently crying when she heard the door creak behind her. Standing in the doorway was Remus Lupin.
"Remus," she whimpered. Remus ran to her as a father would to a daughter and pulled her into his arms. She climbed into his lap and sobbed against his chest. Her body was still convulsing from the Cruciatus Curse, Remus' heightened senses heard her heart beating out of rhythm with each convulsion. He wondered how much longer her compassionate and magnificent heart would have lasted. He rocked her back and forth moving his hands up and down her back soothingly as he whispered comforting words in her ear. Reminding her of her strength, her ability to withstand against the vile monster and come out alive.
As she calmed down and wiped her nose with her arm Remus caught the scent of blood through her bandage. Before she could snatch her arm away Remus had held onto her wrist and removed the bandage.
She knew he saw the word when he snarled and growled. He almost dropped her from his lap when he jumped up in anger, he held onto her however, and carefully placed her on the bed before he began pacing.
"Remus…" she whispered.
"Hermione...Mione...no, that shouldn't be there! You of all people do not deserve that word on you! I will kill her!" he roared.
"Remus, please," Hermione reached out to him, her hand shaking, her lip quivering, and eyes tearing up once more, "Please, look at me," she begged
He looked up into her eyes and the hardness softened and he looked down at her arm again, the hardness returning once more. His body was stiff as he walked back to her on the bed, sitting beside her and pulling her into his side.
"Mione, you have become the bravest person I have ever known. I thought Sirius was brave for surviving Azkaban and escaping with his mind intact. I thought James was brave for befriending a werewolf and a Black, and never giving up on L-Lily, and I thought Harry was brave for surviving the Dursley's and growing up the same kind boy that Lily would have raised," Remus pulled her in tighter as he spoke of his family, "But today you have proven that you are far braver than them all.
"You were thrust into this world with no prior knowledge, you became the smartest in your year, proving everyone that their preconceived judgments were wrong. You helped Harry all through first year, in second year you figured out the Basilisk and survived. Third year you managed to figure out my secret out and kept it to yourself from the kindness of your heart, no fear from a monster who taught you. Fourth year you stood by Harry when no one else would. Fifth year, I thought that was when you were the bravest, you survived Umbridge. She targeted you yet you never backed down. You also survived Dolohov and losing Sirius. Sixth year you stood by the Order as Hogwarts was attacked and now? Now you have survived Bellatrix's wrath, something that stirs fear in most Aurors and Hit wizards.
"Not many people have lived to say that Hermione. You survived it and you never gave up your friends. This wor-, these lesions," his thumb lightly brushed over her re-bandaged arm, "will scar. I know a lot about scars Mione, and it has taken me 30 years to accept mine, yet even then, it is not full acceptance. During Hogwarts I had James and Sirius telling me my scars were badges of honour, proof I survived. I lost that for twelve years, until you came along. You reminded me, every day you reminded me that I should not be ashamed of them, they were proof I survived another moon, I could never believe you, or them. But now I can see that your words are true. This is proof you survived.
"This is proof you are brave. A beautiful and brave heart that never gave up in the face of death. Promise me that you will remember those words," Remus kissed her temple as he waited for her response.
"I promise Remus. If you promise me in return," Hermione whispered back. Her throat still burned from screaming for hours.
"For you, I promise," Remus held her in his arms until she fell asleep, when she awoke again, he was gone. Harry and Ron were waiting for her to begin the plan into Gringotts.
Hermione bolted awake, tears running down her face from her dream memory. She forgot all about that conversation with Remus; she had broken her promise. She rolled over and was thankful her curtains were shut and silence charms on them as her tears continued to fall and sobs broke out.
At least it wasn't a nightmare, she reminded herself.
She wasn't sure which was worse, nightmares of her torture, or a memory of her Remus. Her Remus she would never see again.
She had Remus Lupin here and now, a happier Remus, but he didn't know her. He didn't know her secrets and fears. He wouldn't hold her in his arms like her Remus had, like a father, because this Remus was her age. He was dating Lily, and she liked James, it would be nothing like the platonic, father-like hugs she remembered. It would be two teenagers snuggling, and that would be inappropriate.
Sirius was the same. He was her age; not her best friend's god father, her uncle.
She had no one to comfort her. No one really knew her.
Quietly, to ensure she didn't wake her dorm mates, she tiptoed down to the Common Room and out to the corridor. She ran over to the Room of Requirement and snuck into the door that had appeared. In her speed she didn't notice the boy sitting in front of the flames, his eyes narrowing as she ran out. When he followed her however, she was already gone.
Peter cursed, wishing that they didn't lose the Map to Filch.
Hermione ran into the Room and found herself in a carbon copy of the library at Grimmauld Place. Her sanctuary with Sirius and Remus. She ran to the couch and curled into a ball, sobbing into the blanket Mrs Weasley had knit, remembering she had left it behind before Yaxley had prevented their return.
Before she had lost everyone
The little parenting she had experienced from her mother and father was lost to her the moment she displayed magic. Her surrogate family, the Weasley's, murdered before her eyes. Her father figure replaced with a teenage version. Her surrogate uncle also replaced with a teenage best friend no longer to exist, James' carbon copy with Lily's eyes would never be born.
Her time; gone.
Would Hermione Granger, muggleborn witch, even be born on September 19th 1979?
Hermione cried herself into another memory filled sleep.
"Hermione are you in here?" came the voice of Sirius Black into the dark library of Grimmauld Place. Hermione lay on the couch snuggled into her Weasley blanket crying quietly in the dark, "What am I thinking, of course my little swot is in here."
Hermione chuckled through her cries at Sirius' teasing. Sirius and the twins were the only ones who could get away with teasing her for her bookworm ways, as they actually enjoyed listening to her rants, they didn't just humour her. The twins utilized her knowledge on charms and potions to help with failed product attempts, and Sirius loved to see 'Mini-Moony' appear. She was so like Remus, would tell him, exactly the type of daughter he would have had if had stayed with Lily. Sirius only ever made that comment once, resulting in Remus destroying one of the rooms to prevent injuring his friend. After that break down, Sirius promised to never mention Lily like that again, only that Hermione was like a daughter to him. They would never tell Hermione these things of course, but they never knew she would be thrust back in time to learn for herself.
"I'm here Sirius," she whispered, her voice cracking slightly. Sirius lit a lamp on the table before sitting on the couch beside her, pulling her into his side.
"Now my kitten, why are you crying in the dark? The weasel hasn't struck again has he?" smirked Sirius, he was not a fan of Ronald Weasley, or Molly Weasley, but Sirius was very vocal that Ron did not deserve her, he proved this with his use of Malfoy's idiom 'Weasel'
"It's nothing Sirius, I'm fine. Go see Harry, he needs you more, this term has been hard on him," Hermione tried to distract him with his godson, it used to work until he caught on. Now he dealt with Harry before he even approached Hermione.
"Kitten, Harry is fine. I just checked in on him and we had a good talk about good and bad, like the discussions we've had in this very room. He listened to me and seemed to calm down, hearing it come from an adult and not just his best friend he refuses to listen to seemed to put something into perspective for him. I left him playing Exploding Snap with the youngest Weasley's. Now, that I have taken care of our number one priority of Harry, tell me Hermione, why are you crying in here alone?" Sirius asked. He only said her name when he was truly concerned about her, or angry with her.
"Of course, you did," she growled, realizing he caught on to her Harry-distractions. Harry was their priority, everyone's priority, yet Sirius still made time for her. He was here, Harry wasn't, Ron wasn't, Ginny wasn't. The twins would be, she knew, but they were working with a time sensitive potion that Molly could not discover, she wouldn't see them until tomorrow morning. She loved her friends, but they really did have the emotional range of teaspoons.
"Hermione," he warned, Sirius was not going to take excuses.
"Sirius, how, how did you handle being the only Black in Gryffindor? Were you punished for who you were?" she asked quietly. Whatever Sirius was expecting, it was not that. He rubbed his hands up and down his face as he thought the question over.
"Bringing back old memories here kitten," he tried to joke, but she could hear the tenseness in his voice, this was difficult for him, "Yes, I was. I was so excited at eleven years old to be at Hogwarts and sorted into the House of the Brave. I had made a best friend immediately on the train and he was sorted with me, James and I became inseparable from day one. Even before the Sorting we promised each other that even in different houses we would be friends. Once in my dorm I met Remus and Peter, we didn't become best friends with them immediately, it took a few days, but we were friendly. I was living with three boys who I could introduce to my first best friend, my little brother, and we would have such adventures away from the eyes of our 'proper' parents.
"The very first morning I realized how naive I was about my sorting. A Howler arrived from my mother, I had dishonoured our family by being sorted into a House of Blood Traitors. That Howler was almost like permission from the great Black family to anyone, especially the Slytherin's, could start targeting me. Gryffindor's didn't stand up for me, so within a few days I had one friend in James, but then Remus and Pettigrew joined, and the Marauders formed. It started simply to protect me, they stood by me when no one else did, our pranking war began, it started as revenge for me and then shortly for Lily. Soon the school knew not to mess with Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew. I thought I was safe, and then I went home.
"Punishment in the Noble and Ancient House of Black was bad as children, a whipping here and there, no food for a day, or no contact with any one in the family, locked away in isolation for a week. I thought maybe I was coming home to a lonely Yule, maybe keep Reggie from me, but it was much worse. Crucio's became a standard for me, Hermione, I did not see a holiday away from Hogwarts without punishment. Punishment for being a Gryffindor, for being friends with a Blood Traitor, and two half blood's. I would not give up my friends or my House, I would not give up who I was.
"Reggie followed me to Hogwarts a year later, but he was no longer my brother. He told me the moment after the Sorting Feast, when he was placed in Slytherin, that he would uphold the family honour and I was dead to him. I was punished in every way for being a Black in Gryffindor, Hermione, and not once did I bow my head to anyone and give in. I always kept my chin high, proud of who I was. Proud that I was breaking away from the darkness that was my family. Proud to be friends with James and Remus. Proud to prove that family can be chosen, not given," Sirius spoke quietly for his whole speech, with his fingers twirling in Hermione's curls.
"Oh Sirius, I am so sorry. You didn't deserve any of that torture," Hermione said softly into his chest as tears poured down her face.
"It made me who I was, it formed the Marauders, so in some ways I thank my family for my past. Now kitten, you keep avoiding my question."
"Has Harry told you about our Defence professor?" Hermione asked as she bit her lower lip.
"He's mentioned her, she's a vile toad from the Ministry. She's the reason Moony can't get a job or allowed to legally marry. She is one of the most despicable people in the wizarding world with her prejudiced thinking. I know she isn't teaching you magic and has been giving detentions out very happily to Harry. He also told me you've had a few as well, which I found quite surprising, I thought you had a clean record?" he smiled, it vanished at the panic in her eyes. She was hiding something.
"After first year I never got one. Now I am receiving them, more than Harry knows about. I just tell him I was in the library," explained Hermione.
"Why are you lying to him?" Sirius asked.
"Same reason he is lying to you," she retorted. He stiffened at her words.
"What?"
"Well not lying, rather omitting the truth. Sirius, her detentions, they are barbaric. I receive them because of who I am, a muggleborn who is best friends with Harry Potter. If Harry knew he would only receive more himself, or an expulsion, both of which she would be ecstatic to give. He is going through so much on his own, he has this war on his shoulders, and the entire wizarding world against him thinking he's a basket case. I can't add to that, so I can't tell him," Hermione told him passionately.
Sirius loved Harry but he hated how oblivious the boy was to how much Hermione sacrificed for him, how much she went through that Sirius and Remus had to help her with. Sometimes he felt guilty that he took Hermione under his wing more than Harry, but Harry had limitations on him placed by Dumbledore. Hermione also kept Harry alive, without her a lot of his adventures would have resulted in his death, so Sirius decided with Remus that to support Harry they had to support Hermione. Then she wrapped herself around their heart as their surrogate child and niece, they would never not help this brilliant witch.
"What are you not telling Harry? That you are getting more detentions?" Sirius asked slowly, he had a feeling detention was only the beginning.
"Detention is a loose term. She has been using a blood quill on Harry," she said quietly. Sirius felt his blood boil, blood quills were illegal, yet his godson was being subjected to one, at school no less!
"You said she's using one on Harry, but not yourself. What is she doing to you?" he asked with his eyes closing, fearing what she would say.
"It started with one," she whispered, she was itching her hand the whole time and he finally noticed why; the blood quill. He grabbed her hand and saw it in the lamp flicker.
'I will learn my place'
He growled at the sight. Hermione's place was in the wizarding world. She was a witch! A better witch than Umbridge, she was better than all the Purebloods, and most likely every other witch and wizard out there.
It wasn't her blood that did that, but her brain and her heart.
But this bitch of a professor thought she could do this to his Hermione. If Remus saw this, he may rip the woman apart limb for limb. He was so wrapped up in the words on her hand that he almost forgot what she had said. Almost.
"You said started with, what is she doing now?"
"As a muggleborn I can clean without magic. I am provided bleach and charmed boiling hot scolding water to dip my rag in. I do this after my lines. After my detention my hands and knees are burned red raw, I had Murtlap Essence that heals them up at night. She wants to break me, and I haven't yet. I won't. I won't let her break me for being me," Hermione broke down as she explained to Sirius, sobbing into his chest as he held her tightly. His hands were in fists as he willed himself to stay beside her and not go running off like he did that fateful Halloween night. He would not lose his chance to be with his family; Remus, Harry, and Hermione, by seeking revenge.
Sirius held her for hours as she sobbed and fell into a fitful sleep against him. Remus was not going to be visiting tonight, so he was the only support she had until the twins came out of their potion lab tomorrow. It was times like these he wished that Harry and Ron were more aware of the emotions of their best female friend, even the female Weasley wasn't seeing what was in front of her. Hermione needed them but they always took advantage of her kind heart and accepted her support but never reciprocated it. He would need to speak to Harry before he sent him off to Hogwarts, tell him to be mindful of his friends, be observant of what his friends are going through for him. He would speak to the twins too; they would most definitely look out for their 'little witch', as they dubbed her.
Hermione roused a few hours later, still cuddled up into Sirius. She looked up and saw that he was still awake, staring into the fire that he must have lit at some point. He looked down at her and into her eyes, not breaking contact.
"Kitten, I want you to know that we will do everything we can to protect you. You protect us, and we protect you. Family is about each other, I chose James and Remus at Hogwarts, and now you chose Harry and Ron, you even managed to get the twins around your little finger. Remus and I chose you and Harry. You are our family, don't forget that, never hide secrets from family when we can protect you."
Hermione woke up slowly from her dream. It had felt so real, she could even feel Sirius's emotions and his thoughts. Was that what happened or was she just dreaming his side of it all? It didn't matter, she missed her Sirius. Her uncle. The man who found her in her darkest times and pulled her from them when no one else would. She wanted her family back.
She stayed in the room all morning and did not leave for classes.
She couldn't.
She couldn't look at Sirius or Remus today.
They weren't hers.
They were copies, fake Remus and Sirius, but she knew that was a cruel description.
They were real, it wasn't their fault she formed such a strong bond with their future selves.
She sat in the Room until she knew lunch time was starting and she could ignore her stomach no longer. Running back to Gryffindor tower she ran up to her dorm and changed into her uniform, which hung far too loose on her, and made her way down to the Great Hall
-oOo-
James woke up in a bad mood the next morning, he fell asleep knowing his witch was not beside him and he could blame only one wizard.
Peter.
Well, not eintirely true, Voldemort was the reason Peter was a threat in the first place, so really it was two wizards, but James concentrated on Peter. He was the closest enemy who was preventing him from being with Hermione.
She had told him that until Peter was dealt with, they couldn't be together. Then gave him the most amazing kiss of his life. Was it a goodbye kiss? A wait-for-me kiss? What did it mean?
James sat up most of the night contemplating his future path with Hermione. He would not let her rejection damage their friendship, that would only show her he was only interested in her for one thing. Their friendship would not suffer from her decision, but he knew she liked him. He knew she wanted to be with him, but she was scared, scared of Pettigrew and what he could do, but also about being intimate with someone, physically and emotionally. This meant he couldn't push her, she had to be ready. If he had to wait a thousand years, he would.
James trudged down to the Great Hall and sat down beside Sirius who was almost dozing into his cereal. Remus was cuddled into Lily, his eyes closed in contentment as his head leaned on her shoulder. Peter was stuffing his face as usual. The girls were sitting further up table flirting with some seventh year Hufflepuff's sitting behind them, looking around he saw no Hermione. He voiced his concern of her absence to the group.
"Her curtains were closed, she may have slept in. We'll likely see her in class," said Mary from behind James as she leaned over to grab her notes she had loaned to Peter. James nodded but felt a pit in his stomach that Hermione was not in fact sleeping in.
They all went to each of their classes that morning, but no one saw Hermione. They were all extremely worried about where she could be, as it turned out her curtains were pulled closed to an empty bed. As the girls hadn't seen her, they had no idea when she had left.
James had a sinking feeling in his gut that she was going to be closed off whenever they did see her. He knew she would have bad days, but ever since arriving at Hogwarts that was all she seemed to be having.
He understood. She left everyone behind, she was in this very castle when the battle that killed her family and friends had happened, and Pettigrew was part of her worst nightmare and a constant threat to her and her new friends. He understood why she was closed off, he just wished that he knew how to help her. When it was just them, writing letters back and forth, her words portrayed a happier and funnier Hermione as time went by. Sitting in the alcove swapping stories with her, he saw the light in her eyes returning, but now he knew the darkness was seeping back in and he didn't know how to help.
Being with her and showing his love for her constantly would help, but she had to let him in, had to let their friends in.
Love was what she said helped Harry survive. Love was the strongest magic, he had to remind her of that and maybe it would help her get through her dark times. But he wouldn't know if he couldn't find her!
It wasn't until lunch time that he saw her, a flash of her chestnut curls in the Entrance Hall. He slipped out from the crowd filing in after class for lunch and followed the bouncing curls. She had snuck into a dark corner with two people, upon closer inspection he saw it was Regulus Black and Severus Snape. He cast a notice-me-not charm and pressed himself against the wall, close enough to hear them.
"You had your meeting then?" Hermione asked quietly.
"Yes, and you are going to need to hear it all. When can we meet?" Regulus replied.
"I will see when we can meet without the vermin interrupting," replied Hermione, "Everyone?"
"Are you ready for this Sev? No going back," asked Regulus.
"Yes. Find a place and time, we are partners tomorrow so inform me then. For now, I will be off," Severus replied, his cloak billowing behind him as he stalked down the stairs to the dungeons.
"Bloody bat of the dungeons," murmured Regulus, but Hermione heard, and she burst into giggles. To think his friend would make the same jokes she, Harry and Ron had made with Remus and Sirius. Regulus' lips quirked into a small smile before he schooled his expression and left Hermione alone, "Til we meet, Granger."
James slowly walked over to her when the Slytherin's left, she was still giggling when he was before her. He felt a little jealous that the two Slytherin's had managed to make her laugh, even if they didn't mean to. She needed to laugh; he would cast aside his jealousy if they helped her heal.
"Mi, there you are my beautiful little witch," greeted James, Hermione's giggles stopped almost immediately. His heart twisted a bit at the thought he ended her happiness.
"Hi James," she said quietly looking behind him for his ever-present friends, "Where is everyone?"
"I lost them in the Great Hall, you missed breakfast, you must be starving," he took her hand and led her towards the Great Hall doors. She started pulling back from him, looking at the doors with a slight panic, "Mi, what's wrong?"
"It's- I- Are Remus and Sirius in there?" she asked anxiously. James frowned and nodded, indicating that they were, "I can't go in James, I can't see them right now."
"What, why? What happened Hermione? You know they would never hurt you," James was confused, she had a great bond with Sirius and Remus, he was quite jealous of how their magic could sense her somehow, as if they knew her for years, which it turned out she did.
"I had dreams last night," she started nervously, "not nightmares, but memories. I miss my Remus and Sirius; they were my family. Seeing them after that is just confusing, they aren't mine, they don't know. They don't know any of it, but I do. My Remus was like- was like-" she couldn't keep talking. Her throat closed and the tears fell, she could barely breathe through her sobs. Her body went into a panic from lack of oxygen, she was trying to breathe but didn't feel like she was getting any air. She began breathing in in small quick breaths, her vision staring to blur as she saw stars.
James' eyes went wide at the sight of her break down, he had seen her cry before and even seen the beginning of an anxiety attack. This was different, this was sheer panic mixed with an inability to breathe. He pulled her to the dark alcove that she had just come from before her knees buckled. He leaned up against the wall and pulled her back to his chest before sliding down so they were both huddled up on the floor.
"Breathe Hermione, in and out," James soothed her, his hands rubbing up and down her arms, his cheek rested against her head as he placed kisses in her curls, "Just breathe in and out Hermione, just like that."
Hermione's panic attack lessened, and she could finally inhale large gulps of fresh air, James' hands calming her as they caressed her arms.
"Thank you, James," she croaked, "I can never thank you enough for the help you have given me."
"Mi, I told you I'm here for you, here to remind you of the beautiful and wonderful person that you are. You deserve love and happiness, and to achieve that we need to help you heal from your past or that trauma will follow you. Will prevent you from moving on and finding happiness, and Mi, I can't live in a world where someone who sacrifices everything cannot find happiness. Now let's go eat in the kitchens and you can tell me about those dreams."
James pulled himself up off the ground and helped Hermione up after him, together they made their way down to the kitchens. Fortunately, Remus and Sirius were aware that James had sneaked off to find Hermione and had managed to distract Peter from questioning their absence. However, both were unaware that Peter was taking note of their absence and forming a plan. He was going to have to recruit some Slytherin's to help him stalk the Gryffindor's when he was indisposed or unable to follow them. He did not need to fail in his task from the Dark Lord, he may not be the smartest, but he wasn't stupid. Defy the Dark Lord, or fail him, equals punishment. And he would not go through another Crucio.
-oOo-
"What's in it for me Pettigrew?" sneered Stevens. Kaden Stevens was a sixth year Slytherin who's father was rumoured to be cozying up to the Dark Lord.
"With your help I can report back to Him that you are assisting, good word for your dad that is," smirked Peter. His friends underestimated him, he may have been a cowering first year too afraid to accept his Slytherin tendencies that the Hat acknowledged, but years of 'friends' talking down to him had changed his mindset. Slytherin was where he should be, these people understood his self-preservation, pretend to be a Blood Traitor to survive and join the Dark Lord's ranks upon graduation with the secrets and trust he had built over the years to spill.
Help create the world he knew it should be. No Mudbloods, no blood traitors, no-one to make him the butt of the joke. He would have power, he was promised power from his master.
If James, or Remus, or Sirius stood in the way of his dream, then he would gladly give them up.
If this Hermione stood in the way, well he would take great pleasure in being the one to personally see to her destruction.
"Alright, your word you pass on my father's name, he is loyal, he just isn't from an old family. What do you need me to do?" Stevens casually leaned against the table as he listened to Peter's plan, "Wonderful, and all you need me to do is watch her. Am I allowed to touch?" he smirked evilly, Peter's smile in return told him everything he needed to know.
Marauders and Lily Evans were off limits, Hermione Granger was to be watched.
"If opportunity arises, have fun with her. However, do not break. He wants to meet her at some point, after more knowledge has been procured. Anything you learn, I must know immediately," Peter instructed before leaving the Slytherin alone in the classroom.
Now Kaden Stevens had a mission, his first task for the Dark Lord.
He had noticed the new girl; it wasn't often that Hogwarts had new faces besides the first years. He was intrigued by her, she was close with the seventh year Gryffindors as if she knew them for years, but she was also closed off.
She was also pretty, pretty for a Mudblood.
But what are Mudbloods for if not for practice?
-oOo-
James and Hermione stayed close to one another all day, she had explained her dreams to him as she cried in the kitchen. He held her and explained to her that yes her Sirius and Remus were gone, and she wouldn't have them as father or uncle figures in this time, but they would still be there for her the exact same way. The only difference would be that this Sirius and Remus would form a sibling bond with her, rather than parental bonds.
"Just think, Sirius as a brother! So much more fun than uncle," he laughed.
"But Uncle Sirius was the drunk uncle that said such inappropriate things, who will do that now?" she smiled.
"Hermione, it's Sirius, he will always be the drunk one saying inappropriate things," he pulled her in to his side, walking up the corridor with his arm slung over her shoulders, "Talk to them, tell them everything. They will be able to help you too."
"Maybe, just not yet. There's too much going on," she said thoughtfully, "We need to find a distraction for tomorrow. He can't follow us."
"Don't you worry your pretty little head about it," chuckled James.
Hermione slept in her own bed again, with a silencing charm on her curtains. As she woke to the second nightmare that night, she was starting to think that maybe James was right. Maybe he could keep her safe from her own mind, she never had nightmares with him, but now she was having multiple nightmares a night, or memory dreams that hurt her heart just as much.
The next day she awoke looking very pale with bags under her eyes, a quick glamour charm would hide the worst of it from her friends. She didn't need James suggesting she sleep in his bed again, she wasn't sure she could resist, even if she had to. Sleeping in his bed would be too close and she would give in to her temptation.
He was so affectionate, when they sat in classes without Peter, he would sit beside her close enough that their knees and thighs were flush. He also started playing with her curls, they were long enough that when his arm was draped over the back of her chair, a ringlet was tickling his hand. He would reach up and twirl it between his fingers, he wouldn't stop until he had to write a note, if he had to use his wand he would simply do it with one hand.
Potions arrived in the early afternoon on Thursday, James already knew that Hermione was going to partner with Severus Snape, but he couldn't help the stiffening of his body when he saw his witch close to the Death Eater wannabe. He kept himself distracted so he wouldn't spend the class staring at her and trying to determine if she was ok with the snake or not.
"Granger," Severus greeted her at her new station, "Prove me wrong, I have never found a partner good enough since-" he quickly glanced at something behind her before cutting himself off. She knew what he was going to say, Lily, no partner was good enough but Lily. Now Lily was no longer his friend.
"I assure you Snape, I am more than qualified to be your partner," she smirked at him, remembering the disbelief in his older self's eyes when he learnt that she had brewed Polyjuice Potion in second year, Sirius had laughed in his face when he was sputtering at the impossibility of such a feat.
An hour later Hermione and Snape had a perfect potion, and a tidy station. She looked behind her and noticed that many of the other students had almost perfect potions, colours were slightly off for most, but everyone was still cleaning up their mess. She liked working with a clean station, clean as you go, but Harry had always been a 'chaos is best' mentality. Snape seemed to agree with her, he threw away scraps of ingredients as he went along, and Hermione stoppered the bottles as they were measured out. Nothing was left to clean by the time they completed their potion, except wiping down the desk.
"Granger, it is not often I am proven…wrong," Snape turned to her with a slight upturn on his lips, was he smiling?
"I think that might be my new favourite activity," she quipped. She picked up her bag and walked away to stand with Remus and Lily, waiting for James and Sirius to finish cleaning up their cauldron. Severus was about to call her attention to him to ask about the meeting time, when he spotted a note peaking out from the bottom of his cauldron.
'Seventh Floor, Barnabas the Barmy. 7pm'
-oOo-
"So, she proved to Sourpuss Sev that there are other competent potion makers out there?" laughed Regulus. He and Severus were walking through the castle towards the location Granger had given them.
"Reg, I don't, I don't understand. She did things exactly how I do them! Little things that I do, simple things no one notices, she did them!" hissed Severus, "How I wipe my blade after each cut of each bean to oxidize them slightly longer. How I cut diagonally rather than straight. These are tricks I have learnt over years of studying, reading mastery books and apprentice journals. How would she know these Reg?"
"I'm going to take a wild guess and say perhaps this Time portal theory is accurate?" suggested Regulus. Severus stopped midstep and stared at him incredulously
"You don't mean-"
"Yes, think about it. She knew about everything, and now this? Maybe she was your student, or ohhhh maybe she's your daughter!" Regulus burst out laughing at the look of horror and disbelief on Severus' face, "Oh relax Sev, she's muggleborn, can't have a Prince as a daddy."
"Hurry up, let's get this over with," mumbled Severus. They walked to the seventh-floor corridor with the tapestry Granger indicated in her note but found no one there, "Are we early?"
"Nope!" called out a voice behind them. They jumped in surprise when they they turned to the once blank wall to see a door with Hermione's head sticking out of it. They followed her into the room to see Lily, Remus, Sirius, and James already seated in a room that looked like a dark and dreary kitchen. It was covered in dust, no windows let in light, but it had a large fireplace that looked like it could fit five people comfortably inside.
"What the fuck?" called out Regulus as he looked around the room, "Why the fuck are we in Grimmauld?" Sirius glared at him as everyone else looked down awkwardly and Severus looked at him with confusion. He looked at Granger, his demand clear in his eyes.
"This is the Room of Requirement; it takes on any room you request. I may have not completely thought through location when I asked for it," Hermione said sheepishly, "I apologize, but it can't be changed without leaving the room and I don't particularly care to be caught by anyone snooping."
"You thought of this room?" he asked her. His eyes flickered to Sirius, questioning how this girl knew of their home. Sirius looked away, stating he would not share her secrets. Their brotherly bond was destroyed long ago by their mother.
"Yes," answered Hermione, not expanding on that she walked over to the table and sat down. She gestured for everyone to join her, James sat beside her with Remus on her other side, Lily beside him and Sirius on her other side. The boys had effectively blocked the girls in between them and the Slytherins, "Would you like to go first before I explain anything?"
Regulus and Severus sat stoically in their seats, showing no trace of emotion, their masks were up in full effect. This saddened Hermione, that even before her war, children had to learn to hide themselves for protection. Hide themselves and subject them to a world of fear and terror; offer them up to a madman, and witness constant rape, torture, and murder.
It was enough to turn anyone into a monster, which most became in the end.
Lucius Malfoy was an example; he became even more cruel the more years she knew him. Each time they faced him he delved deeper into his inhuman and monstrous side. His own son was terrified of the man he used to belove. A man he looked up to and thought of as a hero became the villain in his son's life. The man who sacrificed him to the Dark Lord, and would do so again and again, all for the praise of a psychopath.
"You already know of Pettigrew?" asked Severus to the room, he noticed each of the Marauders flinch at the mention of their traitorous best friend.
"They know everything I know. So, tell me what I don't know. What did Riddle want with the rat on such short notice, in person no less? A great honour in your ranks I hear," Hermione spoke, she held her chin high and kept her back straight. She would appear strong and in control before these Slytherins. She knew their game; she couldn't show weakness. Regulus and Severus scoffed at her last words.
"A great honour indeed," Snape said dryly. Hermione smirked at her old Potions Professor, his attitude and voice were the same.
"A week before term we had a meeting, it was brought to the Dark Lord's attention that a new member had joined the Marauders, specifically a mudblood. One that attracted attention due to the sudden protectiveness of the Marauders. A girl who spoke of people that did not exist. A Malfoy son, Weasley twins. This information was enough for the Dark Lord to summon the rat for Friday evening to have him watch her," Regulus explained.
Hermione's blood ran cold. He knew of her from Diagon Alley.
She was so stupid! She should never have spoken so freely in public!
How could she have been so ridiculously foolish? She was Hermione Granger! She wasn't supposed to jeopardize missions, she was supposed to be the one who prepared for all possible outcomes. Protect the ones around her no matter the cost of herself. Now she had placed a target on her back and in turn the Marauders.
"He knows about Hermione?" asked an ashen-faced James.
"Very much so. The meeting was moved up, we brought Pettigrew before him, simpering fool. The Dark Lord demanded information about you, he spoke of nightmares, protectiveness from the Marauders, your left arm. Potter is of interest also, regarding yourself," Regulus raising one eyebrow. Almost asking them if they were a couple.
Hermione was almost hyperventilating. James was rubbing soothing circles on her lower back discreetly, but it was too much for her. She jumped up off her seat and began pacing.
She had already failed. Pettigrew knew she and James cared for one another. He was going to target James more.
"After that?" She had stopped pacing and turned to the young Death Eaters
"His original plan remains; however, he wants to know everything about you. Weaknesses, your relationships, if you threaten the plan. He is to learn of your past. Who targeted your family to make you the sad orphan child who has nightmares," said Snape, "After that he had Pettigrew leave the room and informed us that Rookwood-" he was cut off by Hermione's gasp.
"Rookwood?! He's already in the Department of Mysteries isn't he?" demanded Hermione loudly. Everyone around the table looked at her in shock. James wanted to take her away from all this. Voldemort knew about her. Knew about him. This would drive her further from him, not wanting Peter to catch them together.
"Yes. Specifically, the Time Room" Snape spoke the words carefully, this was the moment of truth.
"FUCK!" yelled Hermione. She slid down the cabinets, pulled her knees up to her chest and held her head in her hands. James jumped up and sat at her side pulling her into him, she couldn't have another breakdown today.
The room was silent. Everyone had been quiet so far except from Hermione and the Slytherins, James a bit more involved, but the others had stayed silent. Listening, learning all the information.
Lily and Sirius were observing the people they used to care about most. Deciding if their change of heart was worth letting them back into theirs.
Lily watched Severus. He never made eye contact with her, he would look everyone in the eye but her. Remus he gave a slight nod, he would not be on the wrong side of a werewolf. He had sneered at Sirius with total disgust, the man who almost had him murdered by previous said werewolf. James, he had simply stared blankly, he disliked Potter but he held no true emotions for the leading Marauder. Potter played schoolboy pranks on him, which led to his outburst and loss of Lily, but he knew losing Lily was inevitable on his current path, but Potter had saved him from previously mentioned werewolf that aforementioned prankster had led him to. He looked at Hermione with suspicion and confusion, he was trying to figure her out, calculating all her movements and words.
Severus never looked at Lily, he dropped his eyes to the table when he looked from Sirius to Remus. She sat between them, yet he could not look at her. She saw his shame, his tense shoulders, slight frown and fidgeting fingers. Lily wanted to believe he was on a path of redemption, looking for escape, to turn to the Light and prevent that awful future she heard of. But part of her was scared that Hermione's future wasn't their timeline anymore, this Severus may happily follow the Dark Lord and planned to give them up. She knew it was silly, but Lily was still scared. Scared to let her old best friend back into her life. To possibly lose him to the Darkest people imaginable.
Sirius watched Regulus but he couldn't for long. Regulus was quite the opposite of Severus. When he wasn't speaking to Hermione he was staring right at Sirius. He kept eye contact, but Sirius broke it by looking down at his hands. Sirius knew something, something bad. He could see it in his eyes. It may have been years since his close bond with his big brother, but he could still read him like a book.
Gryffindors.
Sirius was sad about something, and it wasn't at the distance of his brother. It was losing his brother. Regulus didn't understand because he was right in front of him, but Sirius looked at him like he could see a ghost. A ghost that broke his heart.
Sirius wanted to watch his brother. He saw Lily watching Severus, and he saw Severus never look at her. It gave her the ability to study him. However, Regulus held his head high like a true Scion of the Noble and Ancient House of Black, Sirius couldn't look him in the eye. He tried and then he pictured the Inferi. He imagined watching his brother die trying to do the right thing and he wasn't there to protect him. He shut his brother out and wouldn't listen to the little brother try to fix his previous wrongs and he had died for it.
Severus was too shamed to look at Lily. Sirius realized he was too shamed to look at Regulus.
Time passed in silence until Hermione composed herself. She had to think of a plan, Voldemort knew.
"So, the fail-safe portal is real?" asked Regulus when she finally sat back down.
"Hermione Granger, minus two years old, nice to meet you," she said sweetly. The Marauders and Lily laughed at the looks of shock that appeared on both Slytherin's faces. It wasn't often you could surprise a snake, let alone two.
-oOo-
Hermione told them her story. She explained about Pettigrew's second betrayal, the loss of the Potters, and the defeat of Voldemort. At first, they seemed pleased by her story, their master defeated, but their smiles quickly disappeared when she got to his resurrection.
"He resurrects?! That shouldn't be possible!" cried out a horrified Regulus, "that is, that is dark, evil magic!"
"The vilest," Hermione confirmed. She told them of the Prophecy of the Chosen One, the death of Dumbledore, she skipped over exactly who murdered him, but when she got to peak of the war she paused.
"That dark magic that resurrected him?" she reminded them, "Horcruxes."
Regulus mask dropped. Absolute horror showed on the young boys' face. Because that was what he was, a young fifteen-almost-sixteen-year-old boy, a wizard boy with a hundred years ahead of him. A hundred years he never saw in her time.
"I knew he was psychotic but this is...there are no words to how evil this is," he whispered.
"He made seven," what little colour he had left was gone. His eyes bugged out of his head as he looked up at her. Snape was sitting almost petrified with terror. Their master was worse than their imaginations could fathom, "We destroyed them all, but lost in the end. Chosen One ended the Dark Lord, but his followers showed no mercy," Hermione finished.
Regulus and Severus sat in silence, processing everything they had been told. Their master had to be stopped, they had to free themselves from a guaranteed horrible future. She hadn't spoken of them.
"How do you know us? You knew what we wanted," asked Severus with narrowed eyes.
"Regulus I didn't know, I only knew of you because of Sirius. Severus, you were my Potions Professor," replied Hermione.
"That makes sense," he said to her, "You knew my custom changes to our potion, I didn't know what to think."
"I made a joke that you were his kid," laughed Regulus. The Gryffindors all looked at him with bewilderment, the stoic and composed Slytherin could laugh joyously.
"Nope, just a good student," Hermione replied with narrowed eyes. Little did they know that Snape reminded her of her own father. His constant need to belittle her successes, his snide remarks of her knowledge and appearance, most of all; the coldness in his eyes when he looked at her.
"Granger, I believe you, but you're telling me Pettigrew's plan worked? You come from a time where the spineless rat succeeds in his plan? The boy can't tell the right side up of his wand" asked Regulus incredulously.
"He knows our weaknesses," Sirius said quietly, staring at the table with a frown. Regulus looked at his brother with some surprise for speaking. He thought he was having a silent audience from how Granger was running the show, especially Sirius, unless it was screaming and hexing one another.
"Yes, he succeeded, fools are underestimated, and he plays the perfect one. He took it further though and it resulted in destruction. I am not allowing that future to happen. Will you work with us to stop them?" Hermione asked them both.
"How?" asked Severus. He would not bind himself to some other group of people with a leader if he did not know what he was getting into.
"Well, first it's recon – muggle term for reconnaissance – observe his plans. I don't know how he succeeds in this, love potion, or Imperius, or alcohol. I'm also assuming that if I get in the way of his plans there are arrangements for myself," with a nod from them, she continued, "for now, just keep us aware of anything on your side. If you see anything or hear anything you inform us. I will make some form of communication device, so we aren't caught together suspiciously."
She now had some galleons to make tomorrow as well as collecting the ingredients from Dumbledore for Wolfsbane, after her Order meeting.
Her life was too busy, she had just lost a war a month ago.
Severus left the room as soon as Hermione indicated she was finished; she would give them their communication piece when available. For now, they were to observe and wait to inform them unless it was urgent. James checked the Map and saw nobody around them, it was safe to head back to Gryffindor Tower.
They all left except Sirius and Regulus.
They stared at each other across the table waiting for the other to speak. The silence in the room was stifling, Sirius wanted to speak to his brother so badly, but the words wouldn't leave his mouth.
"I-I-," Sirius choked, he took a breath and forced the words out, "How are you, Reggie?"
Regulus looked at him with his mask on full guard, but Sirius saw a flash of happiness in his eyes as he said the name 'Reggie'.
"Not well Siri, not well," Regulus replied using his old name for his brother. Sirius stood up and rushed to his brother and pulled him in for a hug. He would never let him go again, he would not drown with Inferi.
Regulus held onto his brother as though frightened he would disappear. The mask fell and so did the tears.
Brothers became enemies.
Now those enemies had turned to brothers once more. Never to look back.
They held one another until the tears stopped, Sirius did not let go until he felt Regulus pulling away. From now on he would always be there for his little brother, always there for him until he didn't need him. He would never let go first.
"Collecting yourself a band of misfits Siri?" Regulus smiled when they were sitting at the table once more.
"Who else does a misfit fit with if not for other misfits?" retorted Sirius with a smirk.
"She is really from the future?" Regulus asked. He believed her story, but he had questions. Questions he knew Sirius would not pacify him.
"Yes, a horrible one," sighed Sirius, he knew where Regulus was going with this, "Ask me."
"She knew of me through you. She never met me, and I highly doubt we spoke to one another as we are only speaking now because of her. What became of me?" Sirius ran his hands down his face as he considered how to answer him. He would never mollify his brother, but he still had trouble with it himself.
"Our futures are slightly ironic Reggie," replied Sirius, "I have always been a Gryffindor, stood by my friends, and always shown true loyalty in the face of diversity. You have always been a Slytherin, pureblood bigot, on the path to the Dark Arts. Yet our future was that I died believed to be a dark wizard that betrayed my friends, while you died defying your master."
"We died?"
"We did. You, unfortunately, a few years from now," Sirius said sadly.
"That's why you couldn't look at me. How? How did it happen?" demanded Regulus.
"You discovered his secret. He used Kreacher to practice his defenses, half blood maniac didn't learn his Old Family Codes," Sirius explained.
Every family of the Sacred 28 had their own Code.
The Malfoys never neglected duty, the Parkinson's always retained history, the Greengrass' never dismissed debts, the Nott's always regarded alliances and the Black's always protected family.
To break their code was to acknowledge a grievous disrespect. Sirius being blasted off the tree was highly discussed in all the old families. Blacks rarely turned on their family. Andromeda was the last for marrying a mudblood. However, Walburga did not have a strong enough reason to convince the old families. To them, Sirius Black was still the Heir to the Noble and Ancient House of Black. Even her husband, Orion Black, had felt her actions were excessive, but he kept to his Code and stood by his wife. Sirius was off the tree; he would care for the family he had left. If Walburga died before him, he would reinstate his son. If he passed before his wife, then his son would be free of the woman that despised him.
Orion never understood his wife, she broke the family Code by hating Sirius for his sorting into Gryffindor. They were to always protect family, but she had turned at the colours crimson and gold.
"He harmed our elf?" asked Regulus incredulously.
"Kreacher only lived because you called him. To learn of what your master had made and had used your family to protect it, you were enraged. January, he took Kreacher, upon your graduation you went on your mission. You saved Kreacher but not yourself and died in the Inferi water," explained Sirius, "When she told me, I broke Reggie. I saw everything, all our games of hide-and-seek, sneaking the sweets down when Kreacher was cleaning up a mess we made, our pretend duels against the wizards who tried to steal our princesses. We hated each other so much that you didn't even feel you could come to me and ask for help, you were alone Reggie and I never want to abandon you again."
"I never hated you, I envied you. You escaped our home before me, I was left with mother and her lessons," Reggie spat, "She made it clear that if I followed you that punishments would double, especially yours for corrupting me. I had to turn away to protect you Sirius. Always protect family."
"Always. Brothers forever," promised Sirius.
-oOo-
Remus and Lily went to the Head Dorms together, Lily wasn't ready to approach Severus yet. He wouldn't look at her, and until he could look her in the eye and apologize, she would not speak with him. Remus led her to her room to snuggle up with her and soothe her worries. He knew her so well; he knew when she was sad and needed his soothing words. He knew when she was mad and needed space or someone to yell at. He knew when she was angry and needed to talk out her frustrations. He also knew when she needed him physically, and when it was the last thing she needed. Tonight was a night to hold her safely but not to push her too far.
Remus loved his Lily. He would be forever thankful to Hermione for saving him from the loss of Lily, and the loss of his pack. He had been giving her space because he knew she was hurting but wasn't ready to let anyone in. If they pushed her, she would take longer to open up emotionally.
Remus knew that he and Sirius had a special bond with Hermione, they would need to acknowledge soon. However, there was so much drawing their attention.
He had Lily to care for, she was not as strong as she portrayed herself and this reminder of her loss of Severus was hard on her. He had the full moon coming up in two weeks. He had Peter to watch for and now Slytherin's to consider. Hermione was closed off and even if everything around him wasn't a complicated mess, their friendship would have to wait another day. He had his Lily to look after.
James walked with Hermione to the Head Common Room, having quickly checked the Map and seeing Peter in his bed. He sat her on the couch and watched her.
"You agree with what you said last night even more don't you?" he said quietly. She looked up at him with sadness exuding off her.
"Oh James. I can't risk any of you, and I already have a target on my back. If I become too close to you he will find a way to deal with me," Hermione leaned against his chest and snuggled in, he pressed a kiss to her curls.
"I would never risk you. Until Peter is gone, I will wait for you," he promised, "You are it for me Hermione, it was as if you were made for me. Your scent and taste are all I want to smell and eat, you skin is so soft you are all I want to touch, your voice is so soothing, it is all I ever want to hear. Hermione Granger you are all I could ever want," he spoke into her ear. She shivered at his words and turned in his arms.
"You make this very difficult James Potter," she whispered looking into his hazel eyes. He drew her in, everything about him enticed her. She had never felt attraction like this to any of her previous flings.
His fingertips brushed against the skin of her belly; his lips hovered over hers as she looked into his eyes. He was so close, all she had to do was lean forward and they would be connected.
"I will always protect you, Mi love," he whispered before pressing his lips to hers.
Hermione lived for his lips. Their taste. Their hunger. James was everything she could ever want. Soft and sweet or hungry and ravenous, he could do it all. She wanted it all.
Fuck Peter Pettigrew and double fuck Voldemort.
She could have him; they weren't there.
One night wouldn't be so terrible, would it?
As her mind ran away with those thoughts, James lips moved on hers, but he did not deepen it. If he pushed further there would be no return. She was addictive.
James, sensing where her mind was going pulled back, one more single chaste kiss upon her lips before separating.
"Mi, love, we won't be together now but promise me you won't pull away. You won't distance yourself. We can all help you; love comes in many forms. Harry had it from his mother yes, but from you too. I'm sure that's why you survived as well, the love Harry had for you along with what you have had with Moony and Padfoot. Love can be in the form of friends, in family, in lovers. Let our friends in, let yourself pick your chosen family, and let us finish this so we can be the lovers we should."
Hermione gave a small nod and smile, promising him that she would try harder at putting her past behind her. Her friends and family were not the same people here and now, and the faster she realized that the faster she could build new bonds with these people.
They stayed on the couch snuggled into each other as they fell asleep.
If Peter found them, they would look like two friends who dozed off on the couch, all they needed was to be near one another.
They didn't care if it was in a bed, or a couch, or on the floor. It didn't matter.
James was near her, and he kept the nightmares away.
-oOo-
A/N: Read and Review please! also that little button down below, Favourite? Go on, give it a click, show the story some love ;)