Argh. Why am I even posting this, I feel like every chapter I need to be warning everyone to turn back before it's too late. It ain't gonna be a happy story, guys. No good ending, not even any lessons learned. And I know a lot of folks really admire Lilly and want to see her be noble and epic, but this story isn't gonna be the place for that. I'm not having a great time out here, and I'm takin' Lilly down with me. Sorry Lilly.
Gonna be some blood violence here and there, too. Let me know if I should bump up the rating.
JustRandom: That's nice of you, thanks.
Arrrrrrgh. You're gonna hate me by the end of this story. XP I've had one too many college writing courses, one too many encounters with the Internet, and eight to ten too many life experiences; I don't really write heroes anymore. Only cynics. It's gonna be like "Father Always Liked You Best" all over again, there's no happiness or redeeming quality anywhere in this story. That's how they teach you to write literature these days.
Yeah, the mind-critter's still lively.
And yeah, she pretty much distanced herself. She just kinda gave an impression of trying to avoid them, and they didn't like that.
As to the request you mentioned on the other fic! Hmmmm. I'm considering it, but there are a few things I'm not sure about. First off, fill me in here; is there some kind of symbolism or meaning to finding a mint under your pillow? Or is it literally just that at face value, there is a mint and Lloyd doesn't know where it came from?
The other thing, it's a little awkward. Even as I was watching the Seabound finale, all I could think was, "oh lor, Kai is gonna kill Jay for having to go inhale a bunch of stupid water like a wuss, if he hadn't been sick Nya probably wouldn't have done that." Not that it would be particularly fair of Kai, but it's pretty much canon (and definitely fanon) that Kai's grief usually shows as anger, often against a scapegoat. And in recent seasons they've established firmly that he makes fun of Jay constantly. It's always seemed playful, but probably there is some degree of real contempt underlying it.
So long story short, ever since the finale I've been sorta convinced that Kai is probably being straight-up brutal to Jay in the aftermath. I don't think I'd know how to write an "after Seabound" fic without incorporating that. How would you feel about that kind of dynamic? I kinda get the feeling that wasn't what you had in mind . . .
"Hmmmm . . . could you please toss me that red book on the top shelf, Lilly? I think I wasn't done with it after all."
Lilly bounced to her feet and scampered up the library ladder to retrieve the book in question, eager for a chance to stretch her legs. Not that she was bored; she loved her time with Misako. It was such a relief to have someone else to share her secret with—both her secrets—not to mention some female sympathy.
She was glad she had listened to Wu and Garmadon's assurances that she could trust their old friend. Misako didn't judge her for being a Master of Earth. Her steady, serious nature left Lilly with no doubts that she'd keep the secret. She offered to help Lilly find records about any prior Masters of Earth to get more in touch with her heritage, but she didn't press when Lilly declined. On the other hand, when Lilly showed more interest in defeating the sinister mind creature, Misako helped her dig through every resource in the library. They didn't find much, but it was comforting to know that someone cared.
They shared lighter interests too. When Misako discovered that Lilly loved knights, she turned up seemingly endless troves of feudal literature.
It did Lilly's soul good. She'd had her brief love affair with the real world, but now that it was over she burrowed eagerly back into the comforting idealism of books. She no longer believed in it, but it was nice to pretend for a while; she spent many silent, happy hours alongside Misako, reading about knights while Misako studied ancient texts. Misako taught her about history and archaeology and life, and explained to her about being a woman. She let her help out with research sometimes, and never made Lilly feel like she was just humoring her with menial errands. Sometimes Lilly wondered, fleetingly, if this was what it was like to have a mother.
Today they were comparing alternate versions of the Wojira legend. Some of them were in languages that Lilly couldn't read, so she wandered off to find more books while Misako labored over a translation.
In the distance the library door squeaked, and someone's soft footsteps entered. Lilly smiled wryly as she skimmed book spines, recognizing the hesitant step of someone blinded by the library's dimness.
"Hello?" The visitor came around a bookshelf, and Misako and Lilly both looked up happily.
"Wu!"
"Hello, you two!" Wu chuckled reproachfully. "What are you doing holed up in here? It's a beautiful day outside."
"We're learning about Wojira," said Lilly, tugging at a book on a high shelf and narrowly escaping getting clocked in the head. "It's important!"
"It sounds important," conceded Wu good-humoredly. He glanced to Misako. "I suppose it's too important to break for a picnic?"
"I'm afraid so." Misako gave him a rueful smile. "I don't want to lose my focus."
Wu sighed, but he was smiling as he sat down across from Misako.
"I thought so. That's why I brought lunch in here." He plunked a wicker basket onto the tabletop.
"Oh, that's very sweet of you," said Misako. "Here, I'll save this for lunchtime."
"It's three in the afternoon . . . "
"What?!" Misako started. "Oh! I lost track of the time again—" She blushed when Wu laughed a little, and turned away. "Lilly, you poor thing, aren't you hungry? Come have some lunch."
"I'm fine!" chirped Lilly, but still came over eagerly to retrieve a sandwich.
"I hope you don't think me irresponsible," said Misako, avoiding Wu's eyes.
"It happens. You really do get buried in your studies, don't you?" said Wu gently.
Among Wu's many demigod talents, perhaps one of the best was his ability to make excellent sandwiches. Lilly perched on a table, munching happily and thinking about her next book, while Wu and Misako chatted over their own lunch. Lilly's attention was drawn over when the two grown-ups laughed suddenly, over something she hadn't heard. She saw their eyes meet, then both of them quickly shifted their gazes back down to the table, with strange smiles. Misako adjusted a nonexistent strand of loose hair.
Eyes widening, Lilly slipped from her perch and took her sandwich off to some distant corner. Even at the tender age of eleven, she knew what she was seeing. The last thing she wanted was to intrude.
Wu came to visit them often after that, under the pretext of bringing food or helping with research, and he and Misako flirted more and more overtly. Lilly didn't mind a bit. She thought their romance was thrilling, straight out of one of her knight stories. At first she was afraid to let herself believe in anything beautiful again, but with time she was won over. They were such a sweet couple. She tentatively offered real life a morsel of her trust back.
One day, she was at the monastery practicing her Earth powers with Wu. Garmadon came by with the mail.
"We're invited to another wedding, Wu, can you believe it?" he called. "Libber, of all people!"
"Oh my goodness." Wu looked up from training. "She's really settling down?"
"Everyone we know is settling down," said Garmadon, shaking his head. He gave Wu a teasing smile. "Annnnnd then there are those of us who don't even have a girlfriend."
Wu got visibly flustered. Lilly, sympathetic, took up his cause.
"He's got a girlfriend!" She grinned. "Didn't you know? He and Misako have been dating forever!"
"Lilly—" Wu sounded like he had a fishbone in his throat. Lilly looked to him, startled. Then she looked with confusion between him and Garmadon, unable to make sense of either of their expressions. Garmadon was very, very quiet for a long moment.
"Well," he said at last. Wu kept his head down, looking away. Garmadon stared at him for a moment, then turned to go inside—but not before skewering his brother with a steely look.
"We'll talk later."
Wu flinched as the door shut, harder than it needed to. Lilly looked to him with some fear. She didn't quite understand what had just happened, but she had a pretty strong sense that she'd just buried Wu deep.
"Should I not have . . . " she began.
"It's all right, Lilly." Wu tried to keep his voice even, not meeting her eyes. "Let's continue your training."
He never said anything to reproach her after that, and Garmadon never brought it up either, but she still found out the backstory.
Nothing beautiful about it.
She was twelve when the Time Wars took place. She had already met most of the Elemental Masters by then, at least in passing. Hanging around the monastery as much as she did, she often ran into Wu and Garmadon's other visitors. None of the others knew she was a Master of Earth. She made sure of that.
Nobody told her much of anything about the Time Wars. The villagers of Jamanukai looked more anxious than usual, but they didn't talk to the kids about it. Lilly only knew that two of the Elemental Masters she hadn't met, the Time Twins, were waging war against all the others.
More Elemental Masters using their powers for evil, reflected Lilly. She was training at the outskirts of the village, swordsmanship practice. Blade training was her favorite, because it made her feel like a knight. Even all these years and all these disappointments later, she still clung to the beautiful world from her childhood books. Part of her still secretly wished it could be real.
Her sword sliced cleanly through the first sheaf of straw she'd set up. A deft turn of the wrist, and the second sheaf fell to pieces. Effortlessly she slashed through the third, fourth, fifth. She grappled with a training dummy rigged to sway and spin unpredictably, wagging a dull blade.
Finally she stepped back, surveying the straw littered around her. A pretty clean sweep. She should be ready.
A few days later she noticed heavier traffic to and from the monastery. The Elemental Masters were preparing for a skirmish with the Time Twins. Lilly began gathering up her own supplies.
When she spotted the ragged band of Elemental Masters leaving the monastery, she trailed them, trotting a few dozen feet behind. Most of them ignored her, focused on the upcoming battle, but eventually Wu took notice. No great feat on his part; she was wearing makeshift and mostly-oversized armor, and was clanking like a string of tin cans.
"Lilly?" He dropped away from the group, knitting his brows as he took in her outlandish costume. "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to help!" Lilly set her teeth and gripped her sword a little tighter. She knew convincing Wu was going to be a struggle.
The rest of the group had slowed, looking back to see what was holding Wu. He glanced over at them uneasily, but sighed and dropped to Lilly's eye level.
"How about you protect Jamanukai for us instead, Lilly?"
"Jamanukai's fine, I want to help you."
"You're still too young, little one. The Time Twins are . . . " he glanced to his fellow masters and dropped his voice "—almost too powerful even for us. A battle like that is no place for a child."
"I could help," insisted Lilly. Seeing that Wu was scanning the horizon searching for other excuses, she set her jaw again. "And I wouldn't use my elemental powers, see? Just my sword. I'm good with the sword. I won't give anything away!"
"I never said you would, Lilly," said Wu. "But again. You're too young. I'm sorry. There will be plenty of battles for you in the future, now please, stay and look after Jamanukai, all right? There's a good girl." He looked over his shoulder one last time, his mind clearly already elsewhere. "I have to go, Lilly. Take care of yourself."
"I wouldn't—" began Lilly, but Wu was already hurrying off. Lilly watched as he rejoined the group, muttering a few quick words of explanation, and the band of warriors moved on. A few spared skeptical or pitying glances back at her.
"I wouldn't turn on you," Lilly finished, to the empty air. She scowled down at the ground. "I wouldn't."
The ground offered no advice. Typical of her element, only there to print a mark of shame on her forehead. Slumping, she let her sword drop from her hand.
Some two years later, a trio of scruffy grifters was creeping out of Jamanukai. The first hints of dawn were showing, still providing adequate cover for the cloth bundle one of them was carrying. As they approached a grove of trees to hide, the bundle let out a muffled clanking noise.
"Dammit Goj, keep it down there," hissed one of the scruffs.
"Ahhhh, go on," grumbled the one carrying the bundle. "Have you seen this village? Spineless buncha fools couldn't stop a drunk snail, let alone—gahhh!"
He had just faced front again and found himself staring down the blade of a sword, leveled at his chest. At the other end of the sword stood a girl, her hair pinned back and her eyes hard.
"Picking on my home town?" she said. "Now that's just stupid."
Recovering from his shock, Goj stepped back and laughed roughly.
"They've got children defending this place? What are ya, twelve?"
"Fifteen," said Lilly coolly. If it was a lie, it was only by a few weeks.
"She's got the upper hand on us," said another one of the thugs uneasily. "Those villagers are craftier'n ya think, they know we're not gonna beat up a little girl."
"That's where they thought wrong," growled Goj, throwing down the bundle with a clatter. Without further warning he charged at Lilly, with the reckless vigor reserved for the oxlike. Lilly sashayed off to one side, letting him stumble past her. He charged again, swinging a fist, and she danced lightly in circles around him, weaving under his arms, behind his back, between the trees. His two companions were bewildered at first, but finally decided to help out. Lilly only laughed harshly and adjusted her maneuvers to crash the thugs into each other whenever possible.
Her sword flashed, and one of the thieves came up short with a howl, blood gushing from his arm. Lilly swung around behind him and shoved him into his accomplice, sending them both down. Goj, the only one still standing, swore and lunged at her again.
Although she wasn't showing it externally, Lilly was growing tired. Three against one was a lot. Deciding to end the game, she leaped back and placed her full weight against a slender willow tree behind her. Then she let the tree's recoil power her jump, basically throwing herself full-out at Goj.
He was used to lunging at people, but not to people coming at him. His charge faltered, which was fortunate because otherwise his much larger weight would have overpowered Lilly's. As it was, she managed to knock the wind out of them both and send him reeling backwards. Lilly landed neater, recovered faster, yanked her ankle against Goj's leading leg, and slammed a foot atop his chest as he went down. Her sword whooshed neatly into place, its point grazing the skin of his throat.
"Ah!" Her victory bark betrayed her breathlessness. "Don't. Move."
She flicked a sharp glance to the other two thugs. They were still picking themselves up.
"Well?" she said, addressing the other two but not taking the center of her gaze off Goj. "Come on, make this fun. If you come at me now I can skewer one of you first; otherwise you'll have to wait your turn." She gave a significant smirk.
The thugs looked at each other, reached some silent agreement, and took off, one of them still clutching his wounded arm.
"Awwww, you've got some great friends," jeered Lilly. Goj watched her with remorseless eyes. Her arms were shaking with exhaustion, and trickles of blood were oozing down either side of Goj's neck were the sword was pricking him.
"Kill him," gurgled the old voice in Lilly's head. "Kill!"
Shut up, Lilly thought reflexively. She was so used to rebuffing the creature's intrusions by now, she had become more irritated than frightened.
Still. For just one second her eyes had gone distant as she listened. Goj didn't miss his chance. With a yell, he slammed his hand against the flat of Lilly's blade, driving the edge against her leg. Her head snapped back, a scream jerking from her throat. Goj yanked himself out from underneath her, ducked Lilly's pain-maddened slash at his head, and ran.
Lilly tottered herself back to balance, yelping every time her bad leg contacted earth. Breathing hard, she leaned against a tree and took the opportunity to try out some of the words she'd learned a few villages over. All three of them, escaped! And she was lucky she hadn't been killed.
Once the pain subsided a little, she sucked in a breath and forced herself to check her leg. It didn't look too bad. It was at an unfortunate angle though, that was why it had hurt so much. Teeth set, she yanked a roll of clean cloth out of her traveling pouch and tied it roughly around the wound.
"You should have killed him," sneered the creature, and showed her some needlessly splashy tutorials for how she might have done it. Lilly growled, wishing she could think some threats but knowing they would be turned against her.
More or less bandaged, she limped over to the abandoned bundle the men had been trying to steal. Lowering herself awkwardly to a crouch, she unwrapped it. Some weapons from the smithy, most only half-finished; the brass candlesticks that old Teto had always flaunted to the other villagers. Pathetic.
Sitting back, Lilly let out a long, exhausted breath, wiping sweat from her face. The usual post-battle ennui overtook her. No matter whether her results were good or bad, once the adrenaline seeped away she was always inexplicably disgusted with herself. She looked back over the last few minutes and felt physically sick. What a fraud she was. What a cluster of arrogance and fake bravado. How long could she keep bluffing like this till some scum saw through her?
Eventually the worst of the revulsion passed, as usual, leaving only a syrupy apathy. Groaning, she heaved to her feet and gathered up the stolen items to return.
"I'm really fine," sighed Lilly, as Mila and Tang fussed over her leg. She had already seen the village healer to get a better dressing, and returned all the stolen items.
"You poor thing," fretted Mila, wringing her hands. "I know you want to help, sweetheart, but . . . " She sighed. "I just worry, Lilly."
"I'm sorry to worry you," said Lilly automatically. She tried to put genuine emotion into it. Really she did. But the bond with her foster parents had broken long ago, a joint consequence of her guilt and their confusion.
Mila sighed again. Tang studied the ground. The silence stretched on, and nobody knew how to break it.
"Won't you stay for dinner, sweetheart?" said Mila softly. Lilly swallowed her initial impulse to blurt no, absolutely not, and nodded.
It was a quiet, awkward, painful meal. Mila and Tang tried to show interest in Lilly's adventures defending the neighboring villages, but Lilly found it hard to answer their questions without frightening them. Meanwhile, Lilly tried to inquire after the village goings-on, but found the answers were almost unbearably boring. Her time running free and risking her life weekly had made her impatient with the narrow, petty world of Jamanukai.
Mila and Tang sensed her impatience, and she was ashamed of it. She hated that they tried so hard to make her feel loved; she wished with all her heart they wouldn't. She couldn't give that kind of love in return. Not knowing what she knew. She didn't dare.
"How about dessert tonight?" said Tang, as they finished. "I'll make mochi."
Lilly's favorite. Also much more expensive than Tang and Mila could usually afford; sugar was precious in Jamanukai.
"I couldn't ask that—" she began, but Tang was already waving her off.
"It's a special occasion, Lilly!"
"But I—"
"Please." There was a quiet finality in Tang's voice. Lilly stared at him, feeling her meal churning in her gut. She saw the desperation in his eyes, the silent reminder of just how much she was hurting the people who had loved her. But what could she do? The truth would only hurt them a thousand times more.
She lowered her head, once again hating herself.
"Thank you."
"It's been so long since we've seen you, Lilly," ventured Mila, as Tang got up. "I was just wondering. When are you thinking about settling back down?"
Lilly tried not to flinch visibly.
"We miss you, Lilly," said Mila. She wasn't usually so demonstrative. "Surely, you're not planning to keep tearing around like this all your life?"
"You've got a reputation everywhere by now, anyway," said Tang, turning back to the table. "Not too many thugs will try pick on the nearby villages anymore."
"I know." Lilly didn't look up. "I was planning to start looking farther away."
Tang and Mila were silent. Lilly stared down at her hands, willing them not to shake. She saw Mila's hands on the table across from her, knobby with arthritis. Soon she would no longer be able to weave baskets. She would have no successor to carry on the family trade.
Lilly swallowed.
"I can do real good out there," she said. She didn't know if she was convincing them or herself. "I can make a difference in the world. It just feels wrong for me to be . . . to be tied down to one village like this, when I could be helping people out there."
Tang and Mila exchanged a long look.
"We understand, dear," said Tang at last. You could see the effort it took to say it. "We won't stand in your way."
Lilly kept staring down at the table.
"But you will come back now and then, won't you?" said Mila softly.
"Of course," blurted Lilly.
She ate the mochi without tasting it. She waved goodbye to Tang and Mila as they stood in their doorway, then walked away and never came back.
She made one last stop by the monastery, to get Wu and Garmadon's blessing to travel farther. If they had been against it, she just might have changed her mind.
Wu opened the door.
"Lilly!" He looked surprised for a second, then concerned at her anguished expression. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing."
Over a quiet cup of tea, she told him about her plans.
"If you feel that's where you'll do the most good," he said, "I would never withhold my blessing. I respect your desire to help others, and I only wish you the best of luck, Lilly."
He seemed distant, somehow. Lilly, still aching from her visit with Tang and Mila, found she was eager to get away.
"Are you sure you're all right, Master Wu?" she said, as she stood at the top of the monastery stairs.
"Of course, Lilly. I'm fine. Good luck on your travels, and remember your Earth training. You are always welcome back here whenever you like."
He really did sound strange. Lilly hesitated to leave.
"Oh!" she said, with a sudden cold realization. "Where's Master Garmadon?"
She kicked herself for not thinking of that sooner. He must be having another episode, or maybe even growing worse, no wonder Wu looked so rattled.
Wu only turned back with a wounded smile.
"At his wedding."
"Oh." Lilly stood, lost for words. Her heart broke on Wu's behalf.
"Weren't you . . . invited?" she stammered. Wu's gaze flicked away. It was an expression Lilly had never seen him wear before, but she was well-equipped to recognize it as shame.
"I was." He turned away again. "I'm sorry Lilly, if you don't mind—"
"Of course," began Lilly, but the doors had already shut. She stared through them for a moment, grieving and guilty. Eventually she buried the feeling in the same place she kept all her other misery, and turned to begin her long trek into the beyond.
A/N: The timelines in this fic are a nightmare. Just . . . don't think about them too hard, please. I'm working with a show that told me Kai and Nya's father fought with Cole's grandfather, yet Cole and Kai were born at roughly the same time. Also Ray, Maya, Libber, and Misako were all married about forty years ago, yet their firstborn children were born less than twenty years ago.
Also forty years ago was ancient history with zero technology, but thirty years ago they were developing sentient AI. *hoists up Ninjago's entire timeline and hurls it out the window* Begone, you!