AN: Hello again lovely readers! Look at me posting somewhat on a schedule. LOL. I think this is 3 Saturdays in a row!
Feedback from last chapter was amazing. I hope you guys like this one just as much. As always, thank you for reading.
Lost Souls of Nott Castle
Chapter 18 - Promises
"You are going to be the death of me," Draco told her as he followed her into her sitting room. The voices in his head were arguing back and forth about his decision to allow her to lead him into the lioness' den.
On one hand, she was beautiful, tasted like vanilla and wanted him in some capacity. On the other hand, he knew she was still feeling vulnerable and he did not want to take advantage of her in any way.
She turned and looked at him with those warm eyes. His heart stuttered a beat when she smirked at him.
Whatever words she was about to say were swallowed when he kissed her. His fingers tangled with hers and he lifted both of her hands up over her head as he guided her to the bedroom door.
She kissed him fervently as he pinned her wrists against the door and pressed himself against her. He broke the kiss off and she moaned at the loss. Sweet Merlin, that sound did something to him every time.
It took every ounce of willpower that he possessed to lean in and kiss her one more time, slowly and gently. He released her wrists and let his hands slide down her arms. His thumbs brushed against the sides of her breasts as he continued sliding down her body. Finally, they came to a rest on her waist. He ended the kiss slower this time, pulling away and resting his forehead against hers.
Her hands had dropped down to his shoulders. She held his head against hers. Her eyes fluttered shut and she took a deep, shaky breath.
"I don't want to be alone tonight," she admitted quietly. "Please, stay. We don't have to do anything. Just...please."
The vulnerability in her voice left him feeling raw. How much had it cost her to ask that question?
"Of course I'll stay." He heard the words leave his mouth before he even considered saying them. His hands tightened around her waist and he kissed her softly on the forehead. "I need to go to my room for a minute. I'll be back."
She smiled up at him and nodded, then she watched him walk across the room and through the door. He knew she was watching because he could feel her eyes on him the whole time. Also, as he opened the door he glanced back. His eyes met hers. She hadn't moved at all, still leaning against the door taking deep breaths.
A few moments later he was in his own rooms, standing in front of the mirror in his bathroom, staring at his own reflection.
"What the fuck are you doing, Draco?" He asked himself. He studied the image looking back at him. His eyes were bright. His cheeks were flushed. His hair was messy where Hermione's hands had slid through it. She liked running her fingers through his hair. His lips quirked up in a smile.
Deeper than the cosmetic, though, he saw that his eyes no longer had dark circles under them. His cheeks weren't gaunt like they had been only a few short weeks ago. His thin frame had also picked up some weight from eating regularly, and he had added some muscle from flying so often. The effect was that he looked healthier than he had during his trial. Healthier than he had in a very long time, actually.
He ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath. The image that was reflected back at him looked like something he never expected.
Not living. Not existing. Not surviving.
Alive.
He looked fucking alive.
She did that. She made him feel alive.
And at that moment she was waiting for him to come spend the night with her.
He splashed some cold water on his face, changed into flannel sleep pants and a black t-shirt, then returned to her room before he could second guess himself.
She opened the door wearing a black tank top and pink cotton shorts.
Fuck.
"Hey." She bit her lower lip as she pulled the door open and stepped back.
"Hey." He couldn't help the smirk that pulled at his lips when he saw how nervous she was. He wasn't the only one affected, obviously, and that knowledge boosted his confidence.
He could do this. He could be there for her. He could take care of her. He could be the man she needed him to be.
Hermione woke the next morning to find Draco sound asleep next to her. His arm was wrapped around her and his leg was thrown over hers, pinning her to the bed. She sighed and buried herself deeper into his embrace.
"Good morning," he muttered in her ear.
"Mmm. I could get used to this." She told him. She could wake up next to him every morning and be perfectly happy.
He tightened his hold on her for a moment.
"Me too, Princess."
As she lay there in his arms, she thought back to the night before. She didn't want to be alone. She had asked him to stay, worried he would say no; elated, relieved and nervous when he had agreed.
Draco had been the perfect gentleman, though. He didn't push her to do anything. He simply held her until she fell asleep in his arms, then he drifted off to sleep with her.
In the pink morning light he sighed, kissed her forehead quickly, then rolled over and sat up on the edge of the bed.
She knew he had to be at work in an hour. Herself as well, but after what had happened the day before, she knew she couldn't risk it.
She hated to admit it, even to herself, but Harry had shaken her to her core. Up until that point, she had not believed he was a threat to her. Something in his eyes, though. Something cold and calculating that had never been there before.
It sent cold chills down her back just thinking about it.
She stretched her muscles, then sat up next to him on the edge of the bed, leaning against his shoulder. The air was thick around them. She could tell he wanted to ask if she was going to work. Maybe he wanted to ask her not to go to work. But he did not ask either.
"Don't worry," she told him quietly. "I'm staying here today."
She could instantly feel him relax against her.
"You have no idea how happy I am to hear that." His hand found hers and squeezed. "I figured you would be all Gryffindor stubborn about it again."
"Funny." She nudged his shoulder. "I have new, complex charms to learn and cast. That is much more important than stocking textbooks, I'm sure."
His eyes narrowed at the implication that she was only staying home for the day. She smiled at him.
Of course she was not going to return to the bookstore. It was too public. Too easy for Harry to get to her.
She hadn't liked that job anyway. It was only meant to be temporary. She was only cutting it short by a couple of weeks.
All of which were perfectly reasonable rationalizations for why it was not cowardly to quit her job at this point in time.
"Your safety is more important than anything else, Hermione." He lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes.
"I'm not going anywhere, Draco." She assured him. "Now, you go. Have a great day. I will be in the library all day figuring out advanced concealment charms."
She could tell he really didn't want to leave, but they both knew he had to. When the door closed behind him, she laid back down and stared at the ceiling. Her bed smelled like him now. She took a deep breath, then forced herself to get back up and take a shower.
Sitting at the breakfast table, they filled Theo and Blaise in on everything that had happened the day before. Then Draco left for work, and Hermione went to the library.
Theo joined her, but Blaise had plans with Pansy, so he left for the day.
Before she got started, she penned a message to Victoria explaining that she would not be able to return to work due to circumstances out of her control. She also apologized for not giving prior notice. She sent the message with Theo's owl Chloe.
She released a deep sigh as she watched the owl disappear into the horizon. She was disappointed in herself for leaving that way. She should have had the courage to go to the store and give her notice the way you were supposed to.
She had been hanging around with Slytherins for far too long. It was the only explanation for her newfound cowardice. Well that, and the look in Draco's eyes. She suspected that if anything were to happen to her, he would care a great deal. Perhaps even more than he was willing to admit.
She didn't want to cause him any pain, even inadvertently. So the courage would stay on the shelf for the time being and she would play it safe. For his sake, if not for her own.
She put those thoughts out of her mind and focused on the set of books in front of her. Was it cowardice to learn how to hide yourself from the rest of the magical world? Self-preservation? Her desire to know how everything in the realm of magic worked? Perhaps a mixture of all of the above?
Theo watched her. He had been watching her since she moved into his house a month earlier. She had always intrigued him, even when they were growing up.
He had never bought into the blood purity tripe that some of his classmates had believed in. Still, he had never quite liked Granger either. Maybe it was her attitude. Or maybe it was her disposition.
Now that he had spent time around her, though, he was willing to admit it was neither of those things.
She strived to be the best. Always. No matter what she was doing. Whether it was performing complex charms or stocking bookshelves, she demanded only the best from herself. She rarely compared herself to others, and when she did she thought she was the one lacking. She did, however, compare herself to a gold standard that no one could ever meet.
Theo realized now, that was why he hadn't cared much for her. Truth be told, he was a mediocre wizard at best. He knew it. His friends knew it. Hell, even Granger knew it. And mediocrity would never measure up to her gold standard.
He hadn't liked her because he knew that he would never be as good as her, and he thought she would look down on him for that. In reality, though, she had done anything but.
In the time she had spent at his house, she had been polite, friendly even. She had never looked down on him. She had helped him with his studies, and even welcomed whatever tips he could give her as they all studied together. He was starting to realize that her gold standard was not the same for everyone. It was simply for each person to be the very best version of themselves.
The truth was, she was genuinely a good person, and the more time he spent with her, the more he liked her.
"You are hating every minute of this, aren't you?" He asked when he realized she hadn't even opened the book she had been staring at for the last five minutes.
"Is it that obvious?" She answered with a long sigh. "This is so stupid. I mean, it's Harry. He isn't going to hurt anyone, especially not me."
His eyebrow raised a fraction at her declaration. It wasn't the first time she said it, but it was the first time he could tell she did not believe it.
"You don't have any idea what he's thinking." He told her.
"You're right. I don't. Which is why I should stop this nonsense and just talk to him." The frustration in her voice was clear. Instead of making any move towards doing that, though, she finally opened her book.
"Are you going to?" He asked finally.
"Am I going to what?" She looked up from her book and looked at him expectantly.
"Talk to Potter?" He asked, although he was quite certain that she knew exactly what he was referring to.
"Of course not." She huffed a small laugh and flipped her hair over her shoulder. "I said I should, not that I was going to. I promised Draco no Gryffindor bravery."
"You could have just been saying that to put his mind at ease."
The look she gave him made it abundantly clear that she had never even considered that option, nor would she.
"How would it put his mind at ease if they were just idle words? How do you ever trust someone again that breaks a promise on purpose?"
It occurred to Theo then that not only was Granger a good person, she expected everyone around her to be good people as well. Even after everything she had been through, she still had a naive innocence to her.
"Granger," he cleared his throat and sat forward in his chair. "Be careful who you put your trust in. Not everyone thinks like you do."
He watched her eyes harden, her hand curled into a fist on the table.
"I have already learned that lesson, Theo," she told him quietly. "I know what betrayal feels like. I never want to be the cause of that much pain. And I never want to feel that pain again. The only person that I know I can trust is myself."
They stared at each other across the table for a long moment. The silence in the room around them was almost deafening.
"What about Draco? Do you trust him?" He finally asked when the silence became too uncomfortable.
"He hasn't given me reason not to," she replied with a small shrug of her shoulders. "Yet."
Theo leaned back in his chair and appraised her. Perhaps she was not as naive as he had thought.
She held his stare for a few more moments, then returned to her book. He could tell he had been dismissed, so he left her to her reading.
He knew he was going to have to have a talk with Draco sooner rather than later, though. If his friend was as serious about this witch as he suspected, then he really needed to know how precarious his standing with her truly was.
He needed to know that he better not make a promise to her that he had no intention of keeping. Theo knew now, that would be something she would not forgive easily, if ever.