I do not own the characters, the plot of twilight, etc that all belongs to Stephanie Meyers. I merely put my own version out there, she has all the credit.
Italics- thoughts
Chapter three, You don't want me?
Bella
Time skip, that night.
Charlie and I arrived home, after hours at the emergency room. The diagnosis? Two cracked ribs, a concussion, and I had to get stiches along my shoulders, from the deep gashes the glass made. Charlie was confused, and frankly a little pissed off. The lie we fed him was that Emmett accidentally bumped into me, which resulted in me falling into the side table. The "force" of being thrown into it cracked my ribs which was true and the vase that was on the table broke into pieces of the floor, also true. I fell down, true and before anyone could "react" hit my head against the hard corner of the table, I also cut my hands and back against the glass that was on the floor. So technically, we only told a white lie, not that that eased my guilt. I felt so shitty for lying to Charlie especially when I know he knows I was lying. I wonder what he thought really happened?
It's kind of ironic that I almost died over a papercut, and frightening too. I started to rush up the stairs but before I could even start to climb up, he stopped me. He was awkwardly standing at the bottom of the stairs, police jacket on and gun still in his holster, at his waist. His greying dark hair was all over the place and dark purple bags rested underneath his eyes, he clearly was overwhelmed at work and dealing with this shit on top of it is liable to cause him to have a heart attack.
" Bells." He sighed out, running his hands through his already messy hair. He looked me right in the eye, " If...If that Cullen would ever hurt you, you'd tell me...right? I heard his hesitancy, heard his voice crack as he forced himself to complete his sentence. He was really worried about me but, he had to know Edward didn't do anything. He loves me.
My whole body hurt, my heart hurt, lying and hiding things from Charlie hurt, I wish I didn't have to.
I gripped the stair rails as I slowly came down to him, I wrapped my arms around him and felt him slowly hug me back. I inhaled the smell of coffee and after shave, ad immediately felt the tension in my shoulders relax
" Daddy.." I quietly asked, squeezing him tighter. I could tell he was surprised, I hadn't called him that in years.
" Yes bells?" he replied, voice shaking slightly, fear and concern hidden within his tone.
" I promise Edward hasn't hurt me, it really was an accident."
I felt him release a sigh of relief at my confession and his fingers threaded through my hair, " You would tell me if he did right, bells?" He asked.
" I promise, if he hurt me I would tell you." I really wouldn't...I would want to but, Edward was a supernatural force and I wouldn't subject Charlie to that. It was nice to hug him, we haven't really been close ever since the divorce and I secretly hated it.
" Okay, Bella." He released me and in a typically Charlie way awkwardly scratched the back of his head as he tried to talk to me,
" Uh, how about we just eat at the diner tonight, you and me like we used to." I smiled at that
, " I'd love to dad..love you."
" Love you too kiddo, I'm gonna watch the game if you need me."
"Okay." and with that, I stepped into my sanctuary, the wooden floor, the light blue walls and my yellow laced curtains. It's been the same since I was born, same blue walls, same yellow lace curtains and same old rickety wood floors, I loved it.
I sunk into my twin bed, hearing the creaking sound of the old bed as I did so. I closed my eyes and sighed in pure bliss, finally alone, completely and utterly alone.. well as alone as a girl can get with a vampire boyfriend who has supernatural senses. I got up and grabbed my phone, and then sent a quick text to Edward.
" Hey, are you staying tonight?"
I tossed my blackberry on my desk and practically burned a hole through my desk with the heat from my glare. I was anticipating tonight, nervous and I knew I needed to talk to Edward, especially with the big. " papercut disaster" and then telling him " I needed a human moment".
" Ugh" I yelled, muffled into my pillow. what is wrong with me! Edward would never hurt me, he loves me...but his eyes were pitch black and empty, he looked like he was ready to eat me and not in the good way. Lately I just kept feeling all these new desire's...,things I never knew I wanted, I wanted now.
I wanted to live now more than ever before. Before James, before being bitten, before the fucking fire, before the pain of James teeth tearing into my wrist...
I didn't want that anymore, I wanted to live.
My feelings and thoughts have changed, every time I tried to say something, to protest or argue..I would get lost in those beautiful bronze eyes, my thoughts would get all fuzzy and all that mattered was staying by his side... and that's love...right?
My phone buzzed and I pressed my power button hard. My eyes scanned the text from him, A loud pounding sound came from deep within my chest along with all ten of my fingers beginning to tremble, a queasy feeling hit me as I did so, two simple words,
" Not tonight."
I didn't bother asking why, I knew the reason.
I decided that I would handle everything in the morning, It's been a long day. I went to take a nap before i went to the dinner with Charlie. Everything was fine, I was just overthinking and everything was completely fine.
Today was just an accident, Edward knew that.
The next morning
Edward as it turns out, did not know that.
As the dawn begun to rise, I too rose from the bed, both physically and mentally exhausted. I dressed for class mechanically, and waited for the clock to strike seven. I left the house, my eyes drawn toward the loaming forest by Charlie's house and I drove past, funny how it doesn't seem sinister like it used to.
I would have missed this, I realized- I would've missed the green, the timelessness, and the mystery of the woods, ALL of it... if I had let Edward turn me.
I tried to concentrate on my new project rather than the fact that Edward had not gotten over what happened over night. Along with fear, I was beginning to feel angry. Hot, burning, bubbly anger. How long would this last? Turns out, It would continue all though out the morning, I tried to ignore the situation and I even tried to concentrate in my classes.
However, not even Shakespeare could hold my attention. At one point Mr. Berry had to repeat his question to me twice before I even realized he was talking to me. Edward whispered the answer to me quickly, and then went back to ignoring me. During lunch his behavior continued. I could feel the urge to scream and grab my hair and pull as hard as I could starting to surface, so to distract myself, I leaned over to Jessica.
" Hey Jess?"
" What's up?" she replied looking at me curiously, if not a little untrustworthy.
" Could you do me a favor and take some photos of everyone for me? " I asked, " My mom wants to create a scrapbook of my
high school memories for me and I need photos of all my friends too."
" Yeah, Sure" She said, grinning and turned towards Mike *Click* effectively snapping a shot of mike, with his mouth full of food.
After school Edward followed me to the parking lot in utter silence. I had to work today and for once I was glad about it, Time with me wasn't helping any considering he was still ignoring me, maybe time apart would.
I picked up my film from Thriftway on my way home from my job. At home, I briefly said Hi to Charlie before stealing a granola bar from the kitchen and then hurried up to my room. I sat in the middle of my purple flowery bed with the envelope in my hands, I opened the envelope wondering if vampires really couldn't show up in photos.
When I got to the photo of Edward and I, I gasped and took in the details of said picture. Edward's face was cold and statue like and the contrast between the two of us was painful. I wanted the floor to swallow me hole, He looked like a god meanwhile I looked average, even for a human in fact plain for a human.
I put the photo back in the envelope with a feeling of disgust.
He's beautiful, so so beautiful and...yet oddly doll like, almost like a beautiful corpse all dolled up for their funeral.
Sam
Bold- Handwriting, Bold Itallic - Wolf
I wasn't alone anymore, I had a brother, a Beta and a friend to share this burden with, whether to feel relieved or guilty was what I couldn't figure out. I was currently sitting at my kitchen counter, a pen in one hand and a cigarette in the other, resting comfortably between my index and middle finger. I inhaled the sweet, sweet nicotine through my lungs and felt immediate relief as I exhaled. Looking down at my notebook, I took note of what we were already aware of.
1. Vampires Exist
2. Wolves do too.
3. We're protectors, It's our job to protect Humans.
4. According to the legends Cold Ones Die from being ripped apart and lit on fire.
Paul chuckled at that, " I can't wait to kick some blood suckers ass!." He growled, hyped up. I flicked the ashes from my cig, " Here" I offered the rest of the cigarette to him,
" We will" I assured him, " after we talk to the council. They haven't told us shit, I'm Alpha here not the other way around."
"They'll figure that out soon enough." My wolf growled out.I grabbed the phone off the wall, pressing the Chief's number in, fingers so big that they barely managed to dial his number. One ring, Two- Click.
" Hello?" Billy Answers,
" Council meeting at two, Don't be late, Tell the others" My wolf snarled.
" What? Who is this? Is this Sa-" Click.
My wolf crushes the phone in his grasp, pieces falling all over the counter, broken. We glance at the table, at the notebook that laid there forgotten, at the last note.
5. Bloodsuckers cause shifting without them, there is no wolves.
My wolf grabbed the paper, lupin eyes narrowed and angry, and shredded the paper into tiny pieces.
" Come Beta, we have much to discuss" We Demanded.
Without another word, we walked out of the small cabin, the earth shaking beneath our very feet with each step and Shifted to our second skin.
Bella
Italics- Thoughts.
Again, I didn't sleep so well.
Edward had never came over last night, making that two nights in a row. I didn't want to admit that he was the reason I'd stayed up so late, but of course he was. I tried to remember the last time he'd stayed away like this, without an excuse, or a phone call...He'd never had. School was uneventful, same silent, frustrating and terrifying pattern of the past two days.
I didn't feel any better once I saw Edward waiting for me in the parking lot. He was no different, in fact maybe even more distant than ever. After school, Edward and I were going to talk it out, I wouldn't let this get anymore out of hand. He walked across the parking lot, heading in my direction and I steered myself to make demands. I am going to confront him, I got this.
" Do you mind if I come over today?" He asked beating me to the punch.
" No, we need to talk anyways" I replied keeping my ground.
" Now?" He asked again, opening my door for me.
" Sure" I responded trying to keep my feelings from leaking into my voice, I didn't like the urgency in his tone, because I knew something was wrong.
" I'll beat you there" He smiled his signature crooked smile but, it was wrong. It didn't reach his eyes.
" Okay." I agreed, unable to force a smile.
He did beat me home, He was parked in Charlie's spot when I pulled in. A bad sign, which hinted to the fact that he did not plan to stay long. I took a deep breath, shaking my head, trying to calm myself. Nothing was wrong, My feeling as of lately are just caused from my anxiety, Jitters from the idea of being a vampire that's all..yeah.
Edward was fine, I was fine, we belong together. His behavior has not been normal. " Come take a walk with me." He states no emotion present in his voice, taking my hand in his.
I didn't answer, I didn't like this. Something is amiss The voice inside my head whispered to me.
He didn't bother waiting for an answer apparently, he pulled me along towards the secluded forest behind Charlie's house, I dragged my feet, following there unwillingly, Panic and that hot, bubbly anger began to resurface beneath my skin. I hate being treated like a child, pulling me around, ignoring me and now he wants to talk? Bullshit. This is what I wanted, I reminded myself.
I wanted to talk, to figure out what the fuck was going on didn't I? I was the one who was supposed to confront him, not the other way around. Yet, my blood was pumping and panic was choking me within its grasp.
We barely took ten steps into the forest, the sun was coming down illuminating our faces with it's light. We were barely on the trail, in fact I could still see the house. this is bad. this is very bad! My inner thoughts screamed at me warning bells going off inside my head, an uneasy feeling traveled inside my chest, heavy and painful.
Some walk.
Edward leaned against a nearby tree and was staring at me with those bronze eyes, expression completely and utterly blank.
" Bella, We're leaving"
I could feel that uneasy feeling starting to leave, relief filling it's space, I exhaled, the worry slowly ebbing away. This was okay, I was prepared for this, why now though?
" Why now? Another year-" I was cut off.
" Bella, it's time. Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty three now. We'd have to start over soon, regardless of a year or not."
I was confused, if a year didn't matter why not wait.....The feeling hit me hard, I clutched my stomach in response. The realization hit me even harder like a really hard punch to the gut, my arms around my body tightened in response. I was literally holding myself together.
I could feel the panic chocking me in its hold again, The heavy weight of the pain pressed deep within my chest, and my heart thumping as I struggled to even speak my very own thoughts out loud, afraid of what was to come, afraid of speaking what I already knew was true.
He stared back at me coldly. An air of indifference about him and I could truly tell the difference between us now. Me, a lowly human, an average human at that versus him a vampire, a gifted beautiful vampire at that.
" When you say we-" I barely choke out, nausea hitting me like a ton of bricks.
" I mean my family and myself" Each word spoken slowly, and each word hit right in my heart, ripping it slowly piece by piece.
I shook my head one, trying to disband my negative thoughts. Edward loves me, he just is being considerate, he doesn't want to take me away without warning or even consulting me about it. I don't care, I need him.
He waited for me to speak, no sign of impatience seen.
" Okay," I said. " I'll come with you."
" You can't Bella, where we're going it's not the right place for...you."
I didn't care, I ignored all the signs, I didn't care at all, I loved him.
" Where ever you are is the right place for me."
" I'm no good for you Bella."
" Don't say such stupid things" I tried to sound angry, I just sounded like I was begging. All my anger had disappeared the moment I realized he was leaving, determination to convince him took its place.
" You are the best part of my life."
" My world is not for you." He stated grimly. He tried to let me down gently, but I was not having it.
I started to feel hysterical, panic gripping me tightly. " What happened with Jasper- That was nothing; Edward! Nothing!"
" You're right" he agreed. " It was nothing, nothing that was not expected."
" You promised!" I practically screamed. " In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay-"
" I said as long as that was best for you" he interrupted me.
" No! Is this about my soul? It is isn't it?! I shouted fury coming back to me, the words coming out before I even comprehend what I'm saying, my emotions on high alert.
" Carlisle told me about that, and guess what? I don't fucking care! you can have my soul, I don't want it without you, it's yours okay?! I plea.
He took a deep breath, not like he even needed to breath. He stared at the ground for quite awhile, lost in thought, fighting himself within almost.
Once he finally looked up, his eyes were different, hard and icy.
" I don't want you to come with me." He spoke slowly and clearly, his gaze watching me absorb the words.
I repeated the sentence over and over in my head, the denial finally no longer able to rear it's head. The final piece of my heart tears, the heavy feeling in my chest no longer struggles, it just stays there.
" You..Don't...Want...Me" I breathe out, suddenly disoriented and out of breath.
" No."
" Well that changes things." My voice void of any emotions on the outside, inside however I began to feel numbness spreading throughout my entire body.
He couldn't even look at me, his eyes drawn away to the trees as he spoke. " Of course, I'll always care for you...in a way. I realized something after what happened the other day, it's time for a change." Because I'm tired...so tired of pretending, of pretending to be something I'm not, I'm not human Bella."
He looked at me. The perfection of his face, his youth, the lack of heart beat, the coldness of his skin and those bronze colored eyes were not human. " I have let this go on for too long and I apologize for that."
" Don't." I demand, awareness seeping into me, into my skin and bones, trickling into my veins. " Don't do this."
He stared at me, those cold once honey bronze colored eyes now dull and lifeless. He's always been like this my thoughts answered. My words were far too late, he already had.
" You aren't good for me Bella." He admits, revealing the truth and for once i agree wit him, I knew I wasn't good enough for him. I opened my mouth and then closed it again, I tried again.
" If that is what you want."
He nodded once.
The tingles of numbness had traveled down the length of my body, Goosebumps and tears made a path down my skin.
" I would like to ask a favor, just one."
" Anything." I replied, anything for him.
" Don't do anything stupid." He ordered, a determination could be heard in his tone. " Do you understand me?" His voice no longer detached.
I nodded, it was hard to speak.
The emotion left his voice almost as quickly as it appeared. " For Charlie, of course."
" I will." I lie, the words coming out in a barely hearable croak.
" I will promise you something in return." He said. " This will be the last time you see me, I will never come back. It will be like I never existed.
My knees began to tremble, my body and heart already passed the breaking point. Blood pounded in my ears faster than normal, his voice getting farther and farther away.
" You'll be fine, time heals all wounds with your kind."
" And you memories?" I croaked out.
I won't forget but, my kind we're easily distracted." He smirked, and I instantly knew what he meant.
It was hard to concentrate. I couldn't see straight his beautiful face, became three and slightly blurred. A memory hit me from last years surgery, the doctors word repeated in my head. " You can see it's a clean break."
I couldn't breathe, my breath came out ragged and rough. I needed out of this nightmare, please be a dream.
" Goodbye" He said, and then he grabbed my wrist and I momentarily could breath again. " Wait!" I cried out clutching him to me. His cold, dead lips kissed my forehead softly, I closed my eyes.
" Take care" he breathed and then I felt an unnatural wind push against me, my eyes flashed open and I saw was a mix of trees and green, blurry scenery.
He was gone.
And then...Bella fell down the rabbits hole, down down down.
oh yes, Bella, had a great fall,
pieces thrown everywhere,
I wonder if all the kings men and all the kings wolves will ever get to put her back together again?
Authors note
Are you all heartbroken and confused? Me too! Just kidding, Sam and Bella will be meeting next chapter, sorry guys for not updating life got hectic, I will try to do a chapter a week.
btw, Bella still loves Edward and will need time to move on plus, it is not just his love that will keep her zombiefied, you'll figure it out my dear readers, with each chapter we shall uncover more together.
I loved the reviews, thank you, I worry I'm doing too ooc so I try to look at the book as I write plz continue to let me know how i do!
Until next time,
lots of luv