LEGAL DRUG (GOHOU DRUG) FANFIC

Title: Sanguine

Written By: RinoaDestiny (Ann Koo)

CHAPTER 19

Kazahaya sat down, placed his crumpled apron behind him, and waited. Knotting his hands together, weaving his fingers; he watched as other fingers stretched down towards him, black beginning to bleed from blue and violet as the lights around Green Drugstore flicked on. They made halos in the encroaching darkness – some whitish-blue and others a harsh yellow. Beneath him, shadows merged with the walls and vanished. Calm silence descended like velvet, without the sibilant whisper of silk.

"Rikuo?" he asked, rippling that quiet. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"You don't look okay," Kazahaya said, studying the intense and fever-bright gaze burning in Rikuo's eyes. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing is."

"But you wouldn't be sitting here, then." Tonight was another chilly evening and Rikuo was barefoot. "You know I come back around this time. Are you...afraid of something?"

Slender fingers locked and undid themselves, untangling an intricate pattern that he couldn't see. The cuff of Rikuo's sleeve pulled down, revealing a ring of dense scar tissue. "I think you know the answer to that."

"What are you scared of, Rikuo?"

"If I told you, would it matter?" A smile that buried a knife-edge of pain. "Would it make any difference, if you knew?"

"You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"You don't need to know everything, Kazahaya." Rikuo didn't look at him. "I wouldn't want you to."

"Rikuo..." His hand settled cautious and light on the other boy's arm but there was no response other than dark eyes shutting him out. As it was, Kazahaya knew something was amiss. It was his discovery of it that instead, took him by surprise.

It was the sound of voices from the back when he returned from lunch that drew his attention. They'd been adding the final touches and repairs to Green Drugstore after Rikuo's meltdown, hoping to re-open before March ushered in spring and took the girls away during the Doll's Festival. Saiga-san had been doing some electrical wiring, while Kakei-san and he swept away the broken glass, eviscerated plastic bottles, and dented tins of gloss. A few days before, he'd been on his knees, scrubbing away at the stubborn stains of lotion and liquid soap. Because of his good work, he'd been paid early, given a break, and told to go enjoy himself.

That, he did. Kazahaya found it easy to do just that. It also made it easier for him to pick up where he'd left off. That should've been his first display in days, which involved several small containers of spray-on perfume, his nerves, and one gaudy cardboard cutout which needed assembling. He always hated that.

As it turned out, he never got to it until later.

Whether he had sharp ears or was a natural eavesdropper, he immediately heard a third voice from the back. Rikuo's voice, which was a bit higher than Saiga's and deeper than Kakei's light timbre. Surprised and more than a little curious, Kazahaya tiptoed towards the break room. Since the door was shut – intriguing – he flattened himself against the wall, pressing his shoulder against the frame and listened. Now that he was closer, the murmuring took shape and he could make out words.

"Why didn't you tell us sooner, Rikuo? We might have done something."

"What can you do?" Silence. "I just need those. I don't need –"

"If we'd known earlier, boy, we would've taken you to the hospital. Maybe we need to do that, just in case."

"No!" He heard Rikuo shout, panicked. "Don't. I don't want to."

"I don't want to see you addicted, boy. When did it start?"

"Two days ago." Kazahaya could almost see the incline of Rikuo's head as the heavy silence hung. He was used to these lapses by now. "I didn't...it happened so fast."

"Rikuo, if it gets worse, nothing we give you will help."

"It's okay. I'll –"

"Have you told Kazahaya yet?" Kakei-san. What were they talking about and what wasn't Rikuo telling him? "He should know, Rikuo."

"He doesn't have to."

Pause. "That might be a mistake, boy."

Kazahaya winced.

For a moment, there were no sounds from the other side. He could easily slip away, hide in the supply compartment near the counter, and none of them would know. If they had, wouldn't they keep their voices down? Wouldn't they keep all of this information away from him? But they didn't know that he stood here, trying to figure out the clues and coming up empty-handed. Whatever they were speaking about, he'd missed the beginning of it.

It also hurt to realize that Rikuo completely left him in the dark. Whatever it was, it sounded serious. Hadn't they mentioned a possible hospital visit? What did that mean?

"A mistake." Too late for him to move; Kazahaya shuddered at the dead tone in Rikuo's voice. "I've been making a lot of those lately, haven't I?"

"I wouldn't say that..."

"Then what have I been doing?" Anger now. "Trying to save her by myself was a big one, wouldn't you say? Or is that what you're thinking, Kakei?"

"Don't snap at him, boy. He's done nothing to you."

"I nearly tore down your damn store. A mistake. 'Lost control', you said. That's all I've been doing, isn't it? Tearing down your damn place. Breaking everything you have. Making mistakes. Isn't that right, Saiga? That's all I've been doing, isn't it?"

"No, boy. You know that's not true."

"Then what is? You think I want to be like this?" Footsteps, pacing all too quickly. "You think I wanted to be that bastard's fuck toy? To have them do those...things...to me?"

"Rikuo, calm down."

The pacing stopped. "Or maybe my mistake was letting them do that to me. Couldn't stop them, could I? Couldn't do anything about Tsukiko, could I?"

"Rikuo, what are you saying?"

"She's dead."

No response. Kazahaya swallowed hard, picturing in his mind the stunned faces of his boss and Saiga-san. None of them knew; only Rikuo told him. Only Rikuo let him know the fate of Tsukiko. He hadn't mentioned it to anyone else, yet. The cold finality behind Rikuo's voice stamped an end to the conversation. Maybe now was the time to move. He didn't want to be caught by any of them on their way out.

"Boy, you realize that none of it is your fault?"

"Then what is?"

"Rikuo," and Kakei's voice lanced through the anger and weariness, cutting gently into an open wound, "were you forced to witness it?"

"I...I don't want to..."

"It's okay. Take your time. You don't have to tell us right now."

Time to move, Kazahaya. Tiptoeing out until the voices once again were indecipherable, Kazahaya tucked himself into the supply compartment, shivering. Rikuo hadn't spoken to him about that incident, either and from the sounds of it, neither Kakei-san nor Saiga-san would know any more than he already did. The memory stirred, awful, bloody, and shameful and he knew why Rikuo kept that from them. It's not only his inaction that shames him – it's what was done to him. It's what she saw. What he remembers told me as much.

And the anger...

Never, since he'd been here, had he heard Rikuo raise his voice to them. Not to Kakei-san. And definitely not to Saiga-san, who probably understood the other psychic just as well as he did. Rikuo's recollection was chilling, pinpoint accurate and the barb thrown couldn't have been aimed at anyone else but the man in shades. How Saiga-san withstood it, he'd never know. Kazahaya was glad he wasn't in the room, watching the one-sided exchange turn poisonous.

It was bad enough from outside.

As for Rikuo...what was wrong with him? Why wasn't he...?

He heard the slap-slap-slap of bare feet before Rikuo walked into his line of sight. From where he stood, hidden within the shadowy interior of the compartment, Kazahaya glimpsed the lanky and slight form stop. Rikuo stared out into brightness, as if blind and it was the expression on his face that lodged an invisible blade and wrenched it deep inside Kazahaya's heart. What, if anything, could he do against that?

It was a look of futility staring into inevitability. It was a look of despairing acceptance, holding out everything in both hands in compliant surrender. It was the look of a young man blinking in the sunlight, fighting back tears.

Worse than that – it was the look of a man ready to die.