Chris McClean stood before the island villa just as the sun began to break onto the horizon.

"Welcome, one and all, back to Total Drama Resort!" Chris exclaimed. "Last time, we met our fourteen new contestants. They would be helping to keep this vacation paradise running over the summer, though first they had to prove themselves. The first challenge saw us form two teams: The Hilltop Heroes and the Grotto Guardians. But the four unpicked players were thrown together to be a team of their own, The Seaside Suckers-"

"Uh Chris?" Chef remarked as he stepped in beside Chris.

"What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of doing the intro?" Chris pouted.

"Well yeah but it's just uh, this space was reserved for the picnic breakfast," Chef pointed out as the camera moved over to show a crowd of impatient guests carrying blankets and baskets.

"Who has breakfast at sunrise? You're on vacation, take it easy!" Chris remarked.

Chef dragged Chris out of the way to allow the others to take his place.

"I tell ya, Chef," Chris sighed. "This resort idea may be making bank, but there was something special about having this island to ourselves. I'll miss that."

"Cry me a river," Chef scoffed.

"Let's take a look at how our teams are doing now," Chris suggested. "Tonight, someone becomes the first person eliminated, here on Total Drama Resort!"

(Theme Song Plays)


(The Seaside Suckers)

Kirby had gotten up early, and now just had his ankles submerged in the water as he looked out at the sun beginning to rise.

"Mother Ocean, you have granted me a second chance after the brutal waves of fate came crashing down so hard!" Kirby remarked, clenching his fists. "This game...just like the sea, can be equal parts cruel and kind. This mercy...shall not be forgotten."

Kirby shut his eyes pensively. Zenika and Eden emerged, looking still somewhat groggy and in disarray from their first night in their new home.

"This...is the way it was meant to be," Kirby continued, "I had to fail...so that I could wind up here, close to the sea."

"Of course it's the way it's meant to be," Zenika chimed in. "Every event led to a chain reaction of another event that fell perfectly into place. But ah...would things be quite so perfect if we had wound up on a different team? What exactly is it that drew the four of us together? Coincidence is the coward's answer, I believe that there is some sort of cosmic link that brought each of us to this very point!"

"It's just one of Chris's stupid twists," Eden scoffed. "The game got boring before the first season even ended, so now they have to pretend it's more exciting with these fakeouts. Lame."

"Well whatever the case, I am grateful for this reprieve," Kirby remarked. "Once you set sail, there's no turning back, so you must enjoy each bit of peace you can get."

"Yeah sure whatever," Eden scoffed.

Fabio exited next, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes before putting his shades back on.

"Sorry I'm last to rise, I was busy dreaming about MONEY!" Fabio announced. "Specifically, what I would do with all the money when I win! Oooh I'd buy sports cars, a walk in closet full of designer labels, and I wonder how much it would cost to acquire an original Rembrandt painting."

"Living the basic white man dream, I see," Eden said with an unamused eye roll.

"I'm black," Fabio pointed out.

"I'm glad you don't let that stop you," Eden drawled dryly. "So do you guys think we should...go meet up with the other teams? Let them know that we're actually still here?"

"I say no," Fabio replied. "They thought they were done with us, washed us out of their hair. I want to see their jaws drop when we come walking back in...with a vengeance!"

"Personally, I don't really think it will matter," Zenika added. "If anyone else on this team has even a smidge of scientific passion in their body, then they will want to exhaust all theories before jumping to a conclusion and no doubt are already discussing the possibilities."

"No doubt," Eden said sarcastically.

"Guys, guys, I don't know if you're getting this," Fabio urged. "We ARE the underdogs, the outcasts! We need to stay united. We need to be stronger than all the other teams . We're already at the disadvantage, so if we want to prove ourselves, we need twice as much passion. So let's do this thing!"

Fabio put his fist forward.

"For money!" he chanted.

"For the sea!" Kirby added, bringing his fist to join Fabio.

"For science!" Zenika exclaimed, also joining in.

Everyone looked at Eden.

"You guys are so lame," Eden scoffed as she left them.

"Well someone is a mood killer," Fabio remarked.


Confessional:

Eden-It's not enough that I'm on the "Loser" team, but I'm stuck with a bunch of people who think a single quirk defines their entire personality? Get me out of here! I feel my soul dying every second I spend here.

Fabio-For a brief moment yesterday, I felt my dreams snatched away from me. I was falling, falling so deep into a pit of no escape...but then I was granted a second chance! I cannot let that money slip away, I just can't! I've already had a taste of failure and I can't go through that again!


(Hilltop Heroes)

The Hilltop Heroes had a much more spacious room compared to the previous team and a series of much more comfortable beds. Sammy had gotten up by now though, and was unable to contain his mischievous chuckling as he waited for the others to arise. Lex quietly pulled off their blankets and stepped out of bed. They were barely awake for a few minutes before Sammy got right in their face.

"Hey, hey, I'm glad you're up, we gotta talk!" Sammy exclaimed.

"O-oh," Lex stammered meekly. "What...what is happening?"

"So you're like a fashion designer or something right?" Sammy asked.

"I...uh well...one day maybe...yes, I would hop-" Lex mumbled.

"Well Nora said that your designs SUCK!" Sammy exclaimed. "She said they were basic, atrocious, a sin to even look at!"

"Oh...she said that?" Lex asked. "That...that doesn't make any sense."

"I know, I know, it makes no sense that someone could be so rude, but I just thought you deserved to know," Sammy said.

"Well...thanks," Lex murmured. "But...I haven't even shown Nora any of my designs. When did this happen? It looks like she's still asleep…"

"Devious, I know!" Sammy exclaimed.

"Okay…" Lex sighed.

The rest of the team gradually awoke and got out of their beds as well.

"Good morning, my funky bunch!" Nora sang as she shimmied out of bed. "I am feeling fine, fine, fine and ready to drum up a jam today!"

"Oh good, you're awake," Sammy exclaimed. "I have to warn you, Lex is already planning to vote you out. Said you can't be trusted, some other really rude things that I'm better off not repeating."

"Um…" Lex spoke up, "I'm right here, and I most certainly did not say those things."

"See how quick they are to lie!" Sammy gasped dramatically.

"Sugar, what game are you playing here?" Nora asked unamused.

"Yeah, Lex, explain yourself!" Sammy added.

"Wasn't talking to them," Nora said, while glaring at Sammy. "I don't know what tune you're dancing to, trying to get a ruckus going, but I ain't a fan!"

"Whoa whoa whoa, I speak only the truth!" Sammy exclaimed defensively. "Sorry that you can't handle it."

"Few people can," Natalia spoke up. "The truth is often unpleasant, uncomfortable. Most people prefer to believe the lies that offer them reassurance. That everything is fine, that everything will be alright. The voices have told me differently. Things will not be alright for you, Samson, after a life of lives, you'll experience an eternity of agony in the underworld as your tongue is pulled out and wrapped around your neck."

"Hey hey, let's all calm down," Omber said. "Sammy, maybe you should share your...uh, stories, with some people on the other team."

"Oh, great idea!" Sammy exclaimed.

The boy quickly rushed out of the room leaving the rest to just glance at each other in relief.

"For the record, I never said anything about you," Lex promised to Nora. "In fact, first thing he told me this morning was you hated my designs…"

"I would never, hun," Nora replied. "I don't know what that funky skunk's problem is, but he is very...whatever the opposite of groovy is! A word that doesn't even exist, because everything should be groovy all the time!"


Confessional:

Sammy-Why do I lie all the time? (shrugs) I'm just an agent of chaos, I can't help it. I've got that entire team at each other's throats now, huhuhuh! That's just my mischievous magic! Now to go spread some drama to the other team.

Omber-Sammy is doing...exactly what I hoped he would do. He's a complete mess, and this team cannot stand him. We'll be perfectly united when it's time to vote him out.


(Grotto Guardians)

Corny pulled himself out of bed and stretched himself from side to side while yawning loudly. He opened his eyes to see Ander, Misty, and Josiah already up.

"Well howdy, team!" Corny greeted with a grin. "Now that's what I call a night well rested!"

"You were snoring," Ander stated. "Loudly. The rest of us weren't so lucky to get much sleep."

"Aw shucks, sorry folks!" Corny apologized. "Guess I ain't used to sleepin' around others, and heck, those are some comfy beds. I've slept everywhere else though. Train cars, under a bridge, up in a tree...you name it!"

"Wow, that is so manly of you," Misty cooed.

"Pfft, it's not that manly, you know," Josiah remarked, somewhat offended. "Not as much as, oh I dunno, wrestling a pack of lions to save the president's daughter!"

"Oooh," Misty exclaimed, spinning around to face Josiah now. "Did you do that?"

"Heh, well...the president wouldn't want me talking about it," Josiah remarked with pride in his voice.

"Which president was that exactly?" Ander asked.

"The uh...well the president's daughter...she uh…" Josiah stammered.

"And what country were you in exactly? With packs of lions?" Ander asked.

"Oh uh, you know...Africa?" Josiah tried.

"That's not a country," Ander pointed out.

"Well I was too busy saving the president's daughter to pick up the details!" Josiah insisted.

"Right, such as what country you were currently in, or the name of the president of the time? And are we talking president of the united states, or the president of…'Africa?'" Ander continued to grill.

"Just shut up already, FINE, it wasn't the president's daughter, it was my neighbor, and it wasn't a pack of lions, it was raccoons, but those things are damn ferocious, so don't you dare think less of me for it!" Josiah exclaimed.

"Hey everyone, hold up a tic," Corny exclaimed. "Ain't we missing somebody? I only count four bodies down here."

"Mm, it would seem as though Yuka has gone out on her own," Ander deduced.

"Well, she can do what she wants," Misty said dismissively.

"I 'unno," Corny said with a shrug, "We're s'posed to be a team and all that, ain't we? No point in runnin' off on us. Maybe we should check on her."

"Go ahead," Josiah said. "I don't mind a little alone time with a lovely lady. I'm sure you'd just love to hear more about my death defying feats. This time without needless interruptions!"

Misty gave a sweet laugh, before tilting back to glance after Corny heading up the stairs.

"You know, why don't we just pin that idea?" Misty suggested. "I'm just dying to know more about what it's like to sleep in a tree."

"Huh?" Josiah exclaimed, as Misty was already following after Corny. "Trees!? That's what she's into!? Girls, am I right?"

"Perhaps you may need to come to terms with the notion that you're not as desirable as you believe," Ander remarked. "It may help the concept of 'girls' to become a little more attainable to you."

"Hell nah, man! I'm a dream come true!" Josiah boasted.

"Clearly," Ander remarked.


Confessional:

Ander-Corny seems to see us all as the best of friends with the way he talks about being a united team. Hm. I prefer to keep everyone reminded that I am not their friend. Things can get messy if you start getting sentimental. When it comes to getting what I want, sometimes that means someone else needs to take the fall. In this case, 13 people will need to take the fall, and I refuse to let them make me feel bad about that.

Misty-I'm not interested in actually netting any of these idiot men to bring home to me. I just want to wind them up until they snap (giggles). And there's no better way to add fuel to the fire, than by making a hot blooded man jealous.


Eden had wandered away from her team home by now and made her way through a trail that weaved between the woods. Loose fences had been set up on either end of the path, while families of tourists passed through in either direction.

"I can't believe so many people want to see this dumb island," she remarked to herself. "What's the big draw? Ooh trees, please I've got more exotic plant life growing in my own backyard."

Eden squeezed between the poorly structured fence, and made her way into the untamed wild growth.

"Excuse me! You're not supposed to stray from the trail," a man called. "They say there's still some traps left up from the time this was a tortuous reality show."

"It's fine, I work here," Eden assured dryly. "And knowing the buffoons who worked on this show, I'd be pretty impressed if anything they set up was still working."

Eden departed from the crowds and pushed her way through the shrubs and vines.

'What's a girl got to do to get some quiet around here?" she groaned to herself.

As she stepped over a thicket of thorns, her foot was suddenly caught in a noose and she was swung up, dangling from a tree.

"What in the...CHRIS!?" Eden snapped.

Yuka emerged into view.

"You meandering fool!" Yuka spat. "You have wasted my snare! That could have provided me with nutrition to last me for the day. Instead all has done is brought me a heaping serving of incompetence!"

"Why do you need this?" Eden asked. "I'm pretty sure there are plenty of places serving breakfast."

"Bah! I will not grow dependent on the charity of others. Expecting anything other than what I can provide for myself breeds weakness. And weakness leads to death in the North!" Yuka declared.

"Great, well..can you get me down now?" Eden asked. "Unless you're planning to cook me to eat."

"Get yourself down! Nothing in this world is ever given to us. We must fight, we must suffer, we must earn every step that we take!" Yuka exclaimed.

"Uuuuugh...fine I'll just hang here then," Eden said.

"Hang till the vultures come for you!" Yuka stated.

"So...aren't you surprised I'm still here?" Eden asked. "Surprised, I wasn't actually eliminated, neither were the others."

"I do not care! I do not let my mind wander to thoughts about those who do not matter! Those that fall behind in the North are better left forgotten!" Yuka replied.

"Well okay then," Eden sighed.


Confessional:

Eden-I just had to get away from it all. Everyone being so BASIC was driving me crazy. And of course this place is just filled with dumb gawking tourists who fall for every cheap tactic to suck up their money...what a hellhole I've wound up in.

Yuka-We may be placed to these teams for now, but they will not last and I will not get attached. In the North, the only thing that is constant is yourself. People will leave you, whether it be through their own choice, or through death, it does not matter. Only a cold steely exterior will ensure survival.


Sammy made his way through the villa, already full of guests early in the morning.

"Now, where did that other team wind up again?" Sammy murmured to himself.

A woman approached Sammy and asked, "Excuse me, young man, might you be able to tell me where the bathroom is?"

"Of course," Sammy exclaimed eagerly. "Just take a left there and then keep going until you get to the brick building and it's right on the corner."

"Thank you," the woman replied.

"Wait!" Corny suddenly exclaimed, emerging from another direction.

The woman had departed, and Corny ended up nearly colliding with Sammy.

"That ain't the way to the bathroom!" Corny pointed out. "Come on, pal, we just did a challenge about this yesterday!"

"Oh no," Sammy chuckled. "I guess that poor tourist is going to get lost."

"Ma'am!" Corny called as he chased after the woman. "Ma'am, I think you're going the wrong way."

Misty followed after Corny, but ended up bumping into Sammy.

"Oh, oops, excuse me," Misty chirped sweetly while she batted her eyes.

"No harm done," Sammy assured, "Aren't you that chick from the other team?"

"Aww, you remembered me," Misty replied, twirling a strand of her hair and adding as much sugar to her tone as possible.

"Well uh...yep, I don't mean to brag, but I've got a memory like an elephant," Sammy said, clearly meaning to brag. "It helps keep track of all the lies I've got running. Oh yeah, I'm a bit of a bad boy, you know? I got my team up in flames with all kinds of drama."

"Oooh," Misty exclaimed, though she struggled to think of what else to add to that, "...good for you."

"You're really pretty, anyone ever tell you that?" Sammy said bluntly.

"You know, no one has ever told me that before," Misty giggled. "You're soooo sweet."

"Well huhuh, I don't mean to brag but...I kinda am," Sammy replied.

"You sure are," Misty said between gritted teeth.


Confessional:

Misty-Sammy is...almost too pathetic for me to even bother with. Like show some dignity dude? You're making this whole thing feel too easy it's gross.

Sammy-If I can infiltrate the other teams then there's no telling what sort of havoc I can unleash on them! Telling Misty she was beautiful was such an easy lie to sell, and you know why? Cause it's actually true, huhuhuh, got'em!


(Later)

Omber, Natalia, Nora, and Lex walked together along the strip of shops and cafes.

"Oh this place is so quaint," Lex noted. "I would love to take an actual trip here."

"Travel wherever you want, you will not escape the claws of your fate, nor the sinister whispers in your mind," Natalia stated.

"You know what we can do though? Satisfy our hunger," Omber suggested. "I'm pretty sure I saw a place with complimentary breakfast just around here."

"That would be delightful," Lex said. "I didn't even realize how hungry I am, but we've eaten hardly anything since arriving."

"I suppose...that would suffice," Natalie conceded.

The group arrived at a cafe that had platters of baked goods and serving trays of small meals lined up on its counter. A sign out front read "Complimentary Breakfast, served 7:00-10:00." Inside the two found Ander and Josiah already helping themselves to some english muffins.

"...so anyways then I crammed the rest of the muffin into the tailpipe," Josiah recounted to Ander who seemed disinterested. "Completely wrecked it up. So when the punk tried to escape, I knew he wasn't going anywhere."

"But you could have stopped him from getting in the car in the first place," Ander pointed out. "If you knew that was where he was headed."

"Bro, you really do not get the scene here," Josiah remarked. "Where is the showmanship there? You have any idea how gratifying it was to walk up to the side of the car and tell him, 'Having some car troubles?' See, cause obviously I knew he would be...cause they were caused by me and my handy muffin. I loved watching the hope drain from his eyes in an instant. Heh!"

"I see," Ander remarked.

"That sounds interesting," Lex remarked.

"Hey, whoa whoa whoa, back off!" Josiah suddenly exclaimed, assuming a defensive stance. "You trying to pick up some of my trade secrets? Learn some new techniques to bring over ot your team? Ain't gonna happen!"

"Perhaps you should stop blabbing about them so freely...and loudly, then," Ander suggested.

"No way, man, I have freedom of speech, I can say whatever I want!" Josiah declared. "But the rest of these sneaks don't have freedom of listening, so back off before I have to unleash my deadly moves on you!"

Suddenly the doors burst open. Fabio, Kirby, and Zenika stepped forward.

"That's right, bitches, we're back!" Fabio exclaimed. "Ain't getting rid of us that easy!"

"Just as quick as the sea takes away...sometimes, it may wash up what was once lost when you least expect it," Kirby added.

The rest seemed relatively unfazed by this.

"Well that is just super groovy, for you funky monkeys," Nora said. "Happy for you!"

"What? NO! Don't be happy! Be miserable! Be furious! Curse the day you learned we were back to ruin your plans!" Fabio exclaimed.

"Mmm, not my style, sugarbun," Nora replied with a shrug.

"Well fine, be that way," Fabio huffed as he marched towards the stack of food. "At least I can finally get something to eat."

The back door was abruptly opened, slamming against the wall as Chef barged in.

"What the hell do you all think you're doing!?" Chef barked.

"Aaah!" Josiah cried as he hid behind Ander.

"This place is for guests only!" Chef stated. "You punks eat in the staff lounge!"

"Well that's not so bad," Lex remarked. "Why didn't you just say so?"

Chef herded the teens to a tiny white room with a single table. They were forced to stuff in next to each other to even make enough room. Chef tossed a loaf of stale bread on the table.

"There's your breakfast," he said. "Now eat up, we've got your first challenge coming up!"

"This will not stand!" Fabio exclaimed angrily.

"Yes it will," Chef retorted. "Now shut up and eat!"


Confessional:

Fabio-THAT'S the reaction we get for our big dramatic return!? What gives!? This is my moment and people need to give me that!

Nora-Honestly I'm glad the others are back. Sure it might make the game a little tougher, but we didn't come here expecting it to be easy. A lot of those cool cats who got left unpicked had some real funky energy I was hoping to last a little longer.

Josiah-Why would I care if they're back? They'll still leave one after another and we'll be right back here, it will just take a little longer.


The three teams met in a closed off cobblestone square. Chris stood on a pavilion, looking down on the group before him.

"Welcome, Total Drama Employees!" Chris greeted with a wicked chuckle. "I hope you've all been adapting well to your new teams, cause it's time for your first challenge as a team!"

"My team will survive if they stay out of my way!" Yuka declared.

"Where have you been all morning?" Misty asked.

"None of your business!" Yuka snapped.

"Ahem!" Chris tried to keep the attention on him. "As expected, our guests have been enjoying the attractions, but it gets hot out here under the sun...which is why we've brought in three ice cream trucks."

"Wow, talk about a neat treat!" Corny exclaimed.

"For you to work at, NOT for you to sample," Chris reminded. "Each of you will have a truck packed with ice cream stationed outside your team home. You'll need to draw people in to come your way and make some ice cold desserts. The two teams that manage to make the most money will be my favorites...and also immune. The others will vote someone out of the island, to never return! Sounds like fun right? Well get to it!"

The teams gathered up among themselves.

"Alright, folks, what is our plan going to be?" Corny asked his team.

"Plans fail," Yuka stated firmly. "We are providing food, the others will accept it or perish!"

"Yeah I like that strategy, just guns blazing," Josiah exclaimed. "Buy our ice cream or we will blow you to bits!"

"I don't think that-" Corny tried to say.

"Ooh yes, violence!" Misty cooed. "Show them how it's done, big guy."

"I sure will!" Josiah exclaimed.

Among the Hilltop Heroes, Omber remarked, "How hard can this challenge be? It's ice cream. Everyone loves ice cream!"

"That's a generalization," Natalia replied. "Not everyone loves processed cream and excessive amounts of sugar frozen to the point where any flavor is simply replaced with 'cold.' Your treat sweets of relief are nothing more than chilled lies that your sheltered minds believe offers some reprieve on your daily toil. For if you did not, you would realize the true futility of this cruel existence of which we partake."

"Well okay, let's...try to put a positive spin on that for the purposes of this challenge," Omber suggested.

The Seaside Suckers all just glanced at each other uncertainly.

"Leave this challenge to me, guys!" Fabio announced. "If it's about making money then that's what I'm best at!"

"If that were true, then wouldn't you already be rich by now?" Eden pointed out.

"I'm working on it!" Fabio snapped.


Confessional:

Misty-I don't really care if we win or lose. If we win, then I can kick back, but if we lose, well then I get to pit these men against one another, and that sounds like oh so much fun to me!

Lex-Well this challenge seems...alright. Truth be told, I'm more of a behind the scenes kind of person. The idea of having to go out and convince people to buy what we're selling is...a little outside of my comfort zone. But I'm sure there's other ways I can contribute.

Fabio-This challenge is all about big business. We need people to spend their money on us, so if I can't win this then everything I've been working towards is a sham!


(Seaside Suckers)

As the team made their way back to their home location. Fabio regaled his plans.

"A challenge like this, you gotta go BIG!" Fabio explained. "It's all about image, you know? We need people to think we're a really big deal! I'm talking bright lights, flashing signs, obnoxious ads everywhere!"

"Yeah well...good luck coming up with all that," Eden said as she gestured to the dingy truck parked outside their home.

"Hm..maybe all the lights and signs are inside," Fabio suggested.

"I think that's where the ice cream is kept," Eden pointed out,

"Mates, we don't need any of that, we already have the best advantage we could ask for," Kirby claimed.

"Oh?" Fabio asked.

"The allure of the sea!" Kirby said. "Surely many will yearn for the sweet song of the waves which will bring them right to our doorstep."

"Oh," Fabio sighed.

"Heh...heheheh HAH AH HA HA!" Zenika suddenly laughed. "Fools! There is no need to fret. For I have cracked the code. Oh yes, oh yes, there is an exact formula for the events needed to play out for our win. It's so simple, so very simple!"

Zenika presented a series of notes, detailing mathematical formulae and extensive graphs.

"Oh uh...yeah," Fabio remarked.

"The way this graph moves up and down reminds me of the waves of the sea," Kirby noted. "This surely must be a good plan!"

"Yeah, we're so screwed," Eden sighed.


Confessional:

Zenika-SCIENCE can be used to crack any code. All that you need is the proper understanding, but with my notes, my formulae, we can make it so that we never have to lose a challenge!

Fabio-Money breeds money. If we give off the illusion that we're some fancy expensive parlor, then it will draw attention. Unfortunately...we've got nothing but a rust bucket, so this may take some creativity.


(Hilltop Heroes)

The team examined the ice cream truck waiting for them at the top of the hill.

"Alright, well we've got our base of operations," Omber stated, "now we just need to figure out how to get people here."

"Surely they'll feel the sweet longing in their hearts and start lining up," Nora remarked.

"Maybe, but we're competing with two other teams," Omber pointed out. "If they drum up a crowd first, then we could fall behind quick."

"Well guys, I'm not sure if I'm the best suited to try to gather customers," Lex admitted. "I don't really have great...people skills."

"That's fine," Omber said. "We still need someone to man the truck. The rest of us can spread out and try to build the hype, you can handle sales."

"And I will handle sabotaging the other team, huhuhuh!" Sammy chortled. "You guys might not know it by my honest innocent face, but I can be real devious when I wanna be."

"Sugarbabe, so long as you're not sabotaging US, you can do whatever your wayward heart pleases," Nora said.

"I'm on it!" Sammy said as he took off.

Lex opened up the truck and entered. Omber, Natalia, and Nora made their way back to the center of the resort.

"Okay, ladies, let's just try to keep this casual," Omber said. "People don't like to feel pressured into anything. Just let them know about the truck at the top of the hill, and move on."

"Can do!" Nora said,

Nora and Omber made their way through the crowds, stopping people and pointing them in the direction of the ice cream truck. Natalia took a more menacing approach.

"Do you crave sugar to distract yourself from the hollow void in your heart?" Natalia asked a family. "Do you think that spending your meaningless currency will somehow prove your worth? Climb the hill and we shall take your money in exchange for cold slop."

"Mommy. I'm scared!" a small child cried.

"Let's get out of here," the mother suggested.

"Uh, Natalia, do you think you could tone it back a bit?" Omber asked.

"That was toned back," Natalia replied. "I did not even mention how the notion of a family is nothing but shackles that will rust around our hearts, teaching us to hate in new ways we never thought possible. The voices wanted me to share that, but I didn't listen. And you tell me to tone it back?"

"You know what...I think maybe you'd be better suited back at the truck," Omber said.

"Very well, I shall lock myself in the ice cold chamber, so that perhaps my skin will run numb and I shall no longer feel the itching brush of the devil's fingers along my arm," Natalia said.

"Yeah...do that," Omber agreed.


Confessional:

Omber-This challenge is more layered than it may appear. Sure, we could just wait around for people to show up, but more than that, we need to figure out a way to ensure ours is the shop people go to, not the other teams. What we need is a snowball effect. A few customers can spread the word, bring in more, once we start pulling in the crowds, people will come to see what all the hubbub is about.

Natalia-Perhaps others on this team will so freely lie to get themselves ahead. Perhaps they are simply fortunate enough to be ignorant of the endless suffering all around us. I am not, and I will pretend no differently.


(Grotto Guardians)

The team gathered around their ice cream truck.

"Well now don't this just look spiff!" Corny exclaimed.

"You sure? It looks pretty boring to me," Josiah remarked. "Where's the draw? Where's the sex appeal? It's just a boring old truck?"

"Maybe it just needs someone a little more...appealing at the front," Misty suggested as she slid in to man the truck.

"That definitely brings it up in my eyes," Josiah said.

"Hm, I think the more pressing matter will be herding the crowds our way," Ander remarked. "We will need to employ aggressive methods."

"Oh I'm all about aggressive!" Josiah exclaimed.

"Me too!" Yuka stated.

The girl proceeded to march to a nearby cafe and began flipping over tables, startling and angering several customers.

"What's the big idea!?" A woman gasped as her bowl of soup was tossed to the ground.

"I am seizing monopoly over the food supply of these lands!" Yuka declared. "You want to eat? You will feed on ice cream or STARVE!"

People began to flee in the opposite direction.

"Maybe...not that aggressive," Ander remarked.

The day proceeded, occasional customers stopped by to purchase from the ice cream trucks, though most seemed to just pass by. Misty noticed Sammy approaching a number of people as they neared her team's truck.

"Hey hello, how do you do?" Sammy greeted a group as they walked by. "Just letting you know, I'm the health inspector and we've got some concerns about that truck. I wouldn't go there if I were you . We're not even sure if they're properly licensed to be open."

"Oh dear," said a bearded man. "What sorts of concerns?"

"...Health concerns," Sammy answered.

"Excuse me, if you're the health inspector then where is your uniform?" asked a short woman.

"Shh, shh, I'm actually here under cover," Sammy whispered.

"But you just announced yourself as the health inspector," the bearded man pointed out.

"Yeah uh...about that um well...yeah here's the thing…" Sammy stammered. "I'm not very good at my job."

"Yoohoo, Health Inspector," Misty beckoned.

"See? She gets it!" Sammy exclaimed as he approached the front of the truck.

"You're really hurting my business with this whole charade," Misty purred sweetly. "Do you think you could cut it out?"

"Anything for you, gorgeous!" Sammy said gushingly.


Confessional:

Misty-Seriously? I didn't even have to apply any flirting? No pulling at his strings? Way too easy, what a joke!

Yuka-War is the surest way to conquer people's spirits and bend them to your will. Not through kindness and begging, but by show of sheer force. Once they realize that you hold the power, they will have no choice but to give in to your demands!


Zenika handed Kirby and Fabio pages from her notes.

"Stick to the science!" Zenika insisted. "When people hear these facts they will come running."

"Well okay, if you say so," Fabio remarked.

The group began to approach people among the villa.

"Excuse me, ma'am," Fabio greeted as he read from the notes. "Did you know that you have a 22% chance of improving your mood based on your relative placement on the planet, which can-Hey, don't' walk away!"

""Hello there!" Kirby greeted a group of teenagers. "If you're feeling exertion from the heat, that is because there is an imbalance in your system. The most guaranteed remedy can be found at the beach-Oh okay, goodbye."

"You need to sell with more zest!" Zenika insisted. "Ahem! Attention everyone! Your choices are not your own, you are being conditioned by countless minuscule factors all around you. But if you come to the beach, you will find that many of your prewritten destiny's will result in ice cream, so what are you waiting for!?"

No one seemed to show any interest.

"WHY are you denying science!?" Zenika pouted.

The group could see across the path, Corny was managing to rally up customers just by weaving between them.

"Hey folks, head on that way for some sweet smooth ice cream, will really make your day!" he chimed. "Right this way, get it before we sell out! You're gonna want a nice cold snow cone under this heat."

"WHAT!?" Zenika exclaimed. "He is using no scientific method, and people are still going for it!? I don't understand!? Humanity is doomed!"

Corny gave a nudge to Ander as he remarked, "Hey buddy, it would help more if you smiled. Try to be friendly."

"That is not exactly your style," Ander replied. "I do not want people mistaking me for their 'buddy.' As you have already done."

"Sure ya do!" Corny exclaimed. "At least while this challenge is on!"

"I think you can manage that enough for the both of us," Ander said.

"Fair enough, buddy!" Corny replied.

Ander showed a sign of distaste once more, though said nothing.


Confessional:

Zenika-I am giving people nothing but the honest facts, and yet they choose to be swayed by paltry tricks!? Well those aren't the customers I want to serve then! At the Seaside Suckers we only want intellectuals enjoying our ice cream!

Corny-Ander is my rough and tough bud. He likes to put on a mean exterior, but I already feel like we're the best of pals. We just go together right!


(Hilltop Heroes)

"Here you go, have a nice day," Lex said as they handed an ice cream cone to a child.

"May you spend your fleeting days on this earth with the lingering flavor of artificial strawberry frozen to your tongue," Natalia said while giving out a popsicle.

"Oh looks like we're in for a rush," Lex noted as a larger crowd began to approach the top of the hill.

The group was being guided by Nora who was dancing and singing.

"Give me that sweet beat, just come on and move your feet," Nora sang while trying to encourage the others to move and sway with her, "Music hot like the sun, but sleek like ice! Come on, come on, move it along, if it tastes so good it can't be wrong!"

The group lined up outside the truck. Nora paused to lean against the metal exterior.

"Wow, you really got people up and moving," Omber noted. "This is great for business."

"Just give me a moment to breathe, sugar," Nora remarked. "The beat may go on and on, but there's only so many trips I can make up and down that hill before my feet give out."

"It's too bad we can't just have some music to reach everyone," Lex said. "People seem to be really digging it."

"Hm but what if we could?" Omber mused.

"What are you thinking?" Lex asked.

"Surely there's got to be some sound equipment around here," Omber said. "We just need to get it over here and then Nora can spread her lovely sounds without ever having to leave this spot."

"Oh maybe," Lex replied. "But I'm not sure if people will just let us use their speakers."

"Well, guess we'll just have to help ourselves then," Omber said deviously. "Nora, care to tag in to cashier duty? I think it's time for Lex and I to plan a little heist."

"Gladly!" Nora said as she hopped in next to Natalia. "How's it been, sugarbean?"

"Welcome to a frozen hell, the people come and mutter nonsensical terms like Cotton Candy Delight or Triple Fudge Blaster, as if renaming the processed products dripping in poorly packaged crates in the back will somehow justify the inflated prices," Natalia stated. "We sell flavored water to those who never learned the value of their own life, let alone the value of a dollar. It's not a question of if they will suffer, by their willingness to offer up their money they have already proven a lack of impulse control that will one day will return as nothing more than a shrieking echo of regret."

"Super duper!" Nora exclaimed.


Confessional:

Nora-Believe me, if I could boogie all day, I would and I'd love every second of it. I knew throwing together a fun beat would get people up the hill. Problem is, I'm gonna be downright tuckered to slumberville if I have to do that much longer. Here's hoping Omber is onto something.

Omber-I'm hoping that this plan works, but even if it doesn't, I'm hoping it can bring me closer to Lex. I specifically chose them since I noticed they were more reserved. They're probably not out making friends. Which means if I can start building some trust there, I doubt they'd stray from me. That's the kind of person I want on my side.


(Seaside Suckers)

Sammy made his way to the beach and announced, "Attention everyone, this beach is off limits due to shark sit-Oh hey, there's no one here."

"Yep," Eden remarked as she boredly leaned half of her face into her palm from within their truck. "Welcome to my day."

"That's...pretty sad," Sammy remarked,

"Yep," Eden replied, not looking up.

"I guess uh...I could take one," Sammy offered. "You know, not for charity or anything cause uh...you're obviously still losing, but whatever I could use a snow cone to get me through the day."

"Whatever," Eden said. "Hey, wait a minute...how would you even have any money?"

"Oh easy, I told an old woman I was the delivery guy and if she paid me ten bucks, I'd bring her a takeout box from the sushi shop," Sammy admitted. "She's probably still waiting at the corner, huhuhuh."

"Wow, so diabolical," Eden remarked.

"So like what's your deal?" Sammy asked. "Did you have your personality grinded out of you, or are you like suffering from trauma or something sensitive like that? It's okay, you can tell me, if I tell anyone I'll just tell them it's one of my trademark lies."

"My 'deal' is that I am sick of everyone just putting on a show so that they can fit in," Eden explained. "Why should we try to fit in!? What's so great about this world, huh? Maybe we should try fitting out! Maybe more people should have their expectations challenged. Maybe we all shouldn't be so quick to judge."

"Oh yeah, I feel that," Sammy said as he tasted the raspberry snow cone he had purchased.


Confessional:

Sammy-Yeah that was a lie, I don't feel that really…

Eden-Hmph, I wouldn't expect YOU (she points to the audience) to get it. Sheep!


(Hilltop Heroes)

Omber waved for Lex to follow as he approached the back of a large building. He propped out the back door and showed an empty theater.

"Look, we've got exactly what we need right there," Omber pointed to a set of speakers in the corner.

"Okay...should we ask someone if we can borrow them?" Lex asked.

"If we ask they can say no," Omber pointed out. "If we borrow them, well, I'm sure they'll be won over by Nora's disco tunes and understand."

"Hmm...if you say so," Lex remarked a little uncertainly.

"I'll stand watch, you just sneak in there and wheel them out," Omber said.

"Okay, okay," Lex breathed.

Lex entered and tiptoed towards the stage. They pulled themselves up and made their way to the sound system. They began unplugging some of the wires. Before they could get it completely free though, they heard Omber give a warning grunt. Lex froze in place. Omber made another urging sound as he tried to gesture for his teammate to hide. Lex tilted their head from side to side nervously. They decided to simply move behind the curtain. Omber didn't seem entirely convinced that was the best decision but he was running out of time. Someone in a red and blue button up uniform approached Omber.

"Excuse me, sir," the man said, "can I help you?"

"Oh uh...you know, I was just hoping to reserve seats for the show," Omber lied. "I hear getting good seats can be killer."

"The performance won't be until tonight," the employee pointed out. "And typically, viewers enter through the front door, not the back."

"Oh, I must have gotten all turned around," Omber said with a sheepish smile. "Right, the front. If you could just point the way…"

The employee peered inside the seemingly empty theater.

"I'm just going to lock this up," he said.

Omber struggled to think of something to say to keep the theater employee distracted. Suddenly a parasol that had been sharpened into a spear launched past the two, nearly skewering the man in uniform.

"What in the world!?" he gasped.

"Nourish yourself, you scrawny mite!" Yuka barked. 'You will fill yourself with ice cream or wither and die. The choice is yours!"

"I'm going to need security here this instant!" the employee exclaimed, running back the way he had come. "There's a maniac on the loose."

"Yes please, get security," Omber said before turning back to face the theater. "Lex, it's time to go go go!"

Lex emerged from behind the curtain with a wheeled dolly which they could use to transport the speakers. They rushed back down the stage and brought the equipment out with them.

"That was close," Omber exclaimed.

"I must say, it was a bit exhilarating," Lex said. "Now let's get these back to the team before we get in any more trouble."


Confessional:

Omber-Well, not quite as smooth as I had hoped, but we got that done. Now let's just pray that these people are into disco.

Lex-I don't exactly feel great about, well, you know...working around the rules. But now that it's done, I have to admit, I do feel kind of...triumphant (laughs lightly).


(Grotto Guardians)

Misty handed an icecream cone to a teenage customer and giggled slightly as her hand brushed against his.

"Hope you enjoy," she served sweetly. "Tell all your friends to pay us a visit."

"Hey!" someone snapped.

Misty looked up to see a teenage girl with braided hair approaching angrily.

"Are you flirting with my boyfriend!?" she demanded.

"What? Oh no, I would never," Misty promised.

"You better not be!" the girl threatened with a menacing glare.

"Hey, hey, allow me to handle this," Josiah said as he pulled back the two teenagers. "Ma'am, I can assure you that your boyfriend is nowhere near hot enough to warrant any such flirting. Really, I'm not entirely sure why you're so defensive over him, unless he's really the best you could net. It's sad, they say if you're not hot you should at least be cute, but somehow you've ended up with someone who's neither. No offense to you, of course, bud, I'm not trying to call you ugly, you're just kind of...plain, really. Anyways, where was I? Oh right, quit harassing our cashier and get out of here!"

Josiah ushered the two teenagers away from the truck before returning to face Misty again.

"Great work with the flirting, by the way," he said. "I remember when I was like that, hot blooded, letting a pretty face cloud my judgement."

"But you're so mature and rational now!" Misty cheered.

"Damn right I am!" Josiah boasted. "How's business been for us?'

"Uh...not good," Misty admitted. "Not good at all. I think Yuka is doing a better job at scaring people away than bringing them in."

"Right this way, folks, you won't regret taking the detour, believe me!" Corny exclaimed as he guided a crowd towards Misty.

"Oh, duty calls," Misty said. "My face is going to be sore tonight from all the smiling and laughing I'll have to do to get through this bunch."

Suddenly the area was filled with booming music. Nora's voice echoed across the resort.

"It's that hot hot summer fever! And there's only one cure!" Nora sang. "So move your body, hop on over here! Hot, hot, summer fever! Don't let the sun get you down! Shake it on this way, turn it all around! We got that ice, ice cold pleasure, if you come my way. Don't hold back, chill off today!"

"Wow, I love disco!" exclaimed one of the kids in the crowd. "Let's go over there instead."

"Agreed!" said one of the others. "It's like retro...but it knows it's retro, and I find that level of self indulgence to be reassuring and fun."

"What!? No...come back!" Misty called.

"Ah of course!" Corny exclaimed. "Everyone loves music, why didn't I think of that? Well never too late to fight fire with fire."

Corny pulled out his banjo and began strumming a tune.

"Some call me a little bit corny, some say I'm a little odd," Corny crooned while strumming his banjo, "But I say I ain't sorry, that's just the way I am. See I don't mind if you're tall and thin, I don't mind if you're short and fat. I don't got a problem with any of that! I don't mind if you're shaved and bald, I don't mind if you're big and hairy. Now I may not be the Queen of Dairy, but I've got a snack for you. From mom and dad, and bay too, from all over the world, it don't matter who. Come on over, we'll share a bite, come on over we'll be here all night…"

"Hey, that guy is playing bluegrass!" someone from the same crowd exclaimed. "I like it because it's unapologetically blunt but in a loving sort of way."

"I feel like I'm included in a family just by hearing that song," replied the other.

The crowd turned around once more. From atop the hill, the other tribe realized their customers were now fleeting.

"Wait, what's happening?" Omber gasped.

"We need to turn the music up!" Nora exclaimed. "It's war now, babydolls!"


Confessional:

Corny-I shoulda brought out my banjo sooner. Everyone loves a peppy melody to make them feel like part of the party. Well we're jamming now!

Nora-I respect all forms of music, if it makes you feel good then that's good for you...but NEVER try to override my disco fever with...BLUEGRASS (she seethes) Oooh it is on now, sugarcakes!


(Seaside Suckers)

Zenika, Fabio, and Kirby watched as crowds were drawn in to either the blaring disco music from the hill, or the banjo tune from Corny as he danced between the roads.

"Well, this is lame as hell," Fabio sighed.

"Music as a means to manipulate the crowds?" Zenika mused. "Well they're going about it all wrong, the real way to generate feelings of hunger for ice cream would be to play electronic covers of Beethoven symphonies."

"Yeah, I don't have any of those lying around," Fabio remarked.

"Let's just stick to the science then, gentlemen!" Zenika exclaimed. "Surely we will lure in some intellectuals who are more intrigued by the infinite chaos theories that guide them versus mindless tunes."

"You know what, forget the scientific method!" Fabio scoffed. "We've been relying on your methods all day and how many customers do we have?"

"Well that depends on whether we're quantifying customers based on the current present that we experience, or the expansive future to pass," Zenika said.

"ZERO! The answer is zero!" Fabio snapped. "We've sold zero ice cream cones, and we've made zero dollars."

"Not true, you guys sold one snow cone," Sammy said as he walked by with the remains of his dessert.

"Okay we've sold ONE snow cone, and we're still losing," Fabio continued. "I had big plans for this challenge, we could have been a contender! But noooo, we listened to you and look where that got us!"

"My methods are foolproof!" Zenika countered. "I see now that it was your lack of faith in science that has been holding us back!"

"This is what I think of your methods!" Fabio exclaimed as he tried to tear up the notes, only to find that they wouldn't break. "What the...why won't these tears?"

"AHA! I predicted you would turn on science, which is why I had my notes laminated...from the inside out!" Zenika exclaimed.

"Fine, laminate this!" Fabio scoffed as he tossed the notes into the air.

"You fool! You can't laminate an action!" Zenika exclaimed.

"Let us calm ourselves," Kirby suggested, while closing his eyes. "Picture the soothing sounds of the ocean as it lulls you to a tranquil state."


Confessional:

Kirby-It is not uncommon for ocean madness to seize the minds of sailors. Being adrift for so long with the same company can push you to the edge. In these times of sudden fury, it is best to achieve a state of tranquility by shutting out all other sensations and focusing on the calming powers of the sea (closes his eyes peacefully.)

Fabio-I am a man with vision, you hear? Vision! I knew the way to win this challenge was to be larger than life, that's how I go about everything. Fake it till you make it, put on a show, and soon enough it will become real. Science? That's done jack all for me! So much for that approach!


The sun began to set and Chris called the teams to meet back in the same village square.

"Alright, my happy staffers!" Chris greeted. "Let's take a look at how much money you earned and who will be winning this challenge."

Chef brought forth a long roll of receipts. Chris grabbed one end and began to examine it.

"Mhm, yes, the tribe that sold the most is," Chris announced. "..."

"The Hilltop Heroes!"

"Woohoo, and that is how we do, boogiebees!" Nora cheered while doing a victory dance.

"For coming in first, not only will you be immune, you will also receive a lifetime supply of ice cream!" Chris announced.

"Alright, that is what I'm talking about!" Sammy exclaimed.

"Chef, the prize," Chris said.

Chef handed out several small cups of ice cream to the team.

"Where's the rest?" Sammy asked.

"There is no rest," Chef said. "That's what you get."

"I'd hardly call this a lifetime supply," Omber pointed out.

"Well it could last your whole life if you eat it real slow," Chris said with a shrug.

"Or if you die right after you finish it," Natalia pointed out.

"Ooh, I like that," Chris replied. "You should be on our legal team."

Natalia smirked slightly.

"And in second place," Chris announced. "It's…"

"The Grotto Guardians!"

"I suppose it will do," Misty remarked with a flip of her hair.

"Not to me it won't!" Yuka said angrily before kicking over a large potted plant.

"Which means, Seaside Suckers," Chris said, "with your...one sale, you will not be winning this challenge."

"What a surprise," Eden said sarcastically.

"You guys have lost the challenge and will have to vote one of your own out tonight," Chris said. "See you then!"


Confessional:

Josiah-You know, I'm used to being number one, the best of the best. But I guess if I've got these others to look after...well I can't expect them all to keep up with my level.

Eden-Wow, we lost. I guess the power of believing in ourselves wasn't enough. Who could have guessed?


(Seaside Suckers)

"Okay, who's to blame for this loss?" Eden asked as the team returned to the beach. "Can't have been me. I was doing what I was supposed to, waiting for you to bring some customers my way. Not my fault it never got that far."

"Perhaps you could have done more to help," Kirby pointed out.

"Oh what's that supposed to mean? That because I'm a cheerleader I'm supposed to be so full of cheer all the time? And lead people to where I want them to go? Give me a break!" Eden scoffed.

"The reason we lost was doubting in science!" Zenika exclaimed. "The science was flawless! If others had committed fully, surely we would have succeeded!"

"Ordinary people don't care about gibberish numbers and graphs," Fabio retorted.

"Well perhaps we don't want ordinary customers!" Zenika said.

"Yes we do, their money is just as good!" Fabio pointed out.

"Picture the sea, remember the calm soothing motion of the waves," Kirby urged.

Eden returned to the shack while Zenika marched off in the other direction.

"Well we're off to a great start," Fabio sighed.

"Sometimes starting the voyage is the hardest part, but pushing through will lead to smooth sailing," Kirby claimed.

"Yeah sure maybe," Fabio replied. "Look, I just really want to be free from Zenika. Without her screaming at people, maybe we could have had a shot in this challenge."

"Perhaps," Kirby said with a nod. "But consider as well, Eden did hardly anything at all. I don't believe she even wants to be here."

"Huh," Fabio mused, "maybe you're right."


Confessional:

Kirby-We are setting sail and already experiencing turbulence. I fear we need to make the right decision here, or else we'll be completely capsized before we even make it halfway across the water!

Fabio-Our team is already down in numbers, and after today we'll be at three left, so we need to think hard about who we want on our side for the next challenge.


(Dock of Shame)

The Seaside Suckers stood along the dock as evening became night. Chris and Chef stood before them.

"Seaside Suckers, your redemption story...still hasn't quite taken off," Chris noted.

"We'll get there, Chris," Kirby promised.

"You better hope so," Chris said, "but before then one of you is going to have to set sail off of this island, out of the game, to never return."

"Oooh haven't heard that line a million times," Eden drawled. "I would say get new material, but let's be real, the television industry ran out of new material about 40 years ago, and that's if I'm being generous."

"People love the classics, sorry about it," Chris replied.

"Yeah right, the 'classics' is just corporate propaganda to convince people that it's worthwhile to buy into obsolete products and ideas," Eden scoffed.

"You're getting on my last nerve," Chris remarked.

"Good," Eden retorted.

"Alright, Chef, bring on the votes," Chris ordered.

"The first vote," Chef announced, "is for...Zenika!"

"The second vote," Chef continued, "is for…...Zenika!"

"The third vote," Chef said with force, "is for….Fabio!"

"The final vote," Chef announced. "Is for…"

….

….

….

"Zenika!"

"Hm." Zenika remarked, glancing down at her notes and shuffling papers around, "Hm...yes...yes...YES! I knew it! I knew this was happening! This is exactly as I predicted! My studies were right all along, oh yes, OH YES! Science has once again proven to be infallible!"

"That's great, maybe I'll read about your research in a book one day," Chris said. "For now, it's time to leave the island."

"This experiment has proven to be a huge success!" Zenika exclaimed as she walked down the dock. "All my research now has the backing that the future can be predicted!"

Zenika boarded the boat and was shipped off the island.

"Well well, three of you Suckers remain," Chris said to Fabio, Kirby, and Eden. "Pick yourselves up and try not to wind up here so soon or else this team is going to live up to its name and SUCK!"

"Amazing quip, did you come up with it yourself or did you have to have one of your writers walk you through that one?" Eden remarked.

"Just get out of my face!" Chris sobbed.


Votes:

Fabio-Fair is fair, your plans cost us the challenge, so there's no room for a second chance. So long, Zenika!

Eden-I'm voting for Zenika because like...whatever, I don't need to give a reason, I just don't like you that much.

Kirby-Zenika...hm, it would seem as though if we are to have a smooth voyage, it would be best if you were no longer here.

Zenika-(flipping through notes frantically) Yes...yes...REMOVE the science denier, I am voting for Fabio!


(Conclusion)

"Well that does it for the first elimination here at the Resort," Chris said, still standing on the dock. "Will the Seaside Suckers be able to find their stride, or will they just prove that they were right to not be picked? Will Misty put her spell on all the men, or will she fall in love for a real genuine guy and have her entire aura whisked away?"

"Now you're just spouting bad teen flicks!" Eden shouted from off screen.

"Go back to your camp!" Chris cried. "Please!"

"There, there, Chris, I thought that was a pretty good line," Chef comforted the host.

"Ahem, what more lies in store for our staff here at Wawanakwa?" Chris continued, "Find out when we return next with more...Total Drama Resort!"