"Welcome back to Total Drama Resort!" Chris exclaimed as he stood atop a mountain peak, looking down on the island and resort around him. "I was just going for my morning stroll, you know, no big deal. All about that pre-dawn workout…"
Over to the side, Chef was trying to conceal the helicopter behind faux shrubbery. He was not doing a great job at discretion.
"Ah yes...Chef is just um...putting away the industrial weedwhacker," Chris lied. "You would not believe the overgrowth you'd see up here."
"Just get on with it, Chris," Chef said.
Chris pouted but continued, "Last time, our three times competed for immunity for the first time officially! They had to operate their own ice cream stands. As expected, the Seaside Suckers struggled. Eden's sour attitude, and Zenika's overzealous pursuit of science, made them anything but a cohesive unit. Meanwhile, on the Hilltop Heroes, Sammy tried to create chaos with his blatant lies, but only ended up ostracizing himself. On Grotto Guardians, Corny tried to be everyone's friend, but the rest of his team had a much more cutthroat approach. By the end of the night, the Seaside Surfers failed to make any real business and had to send someone out. Despite Eden making no effort to make any friends, Zenika's feud with Fabio spelled her doom and she was the first person voted out."
"Good riddance, I had no idea what she was ever babbling about!" Chef scoffed.
"Not surprising, Chef, you weren't hired for your brains after all," Chris said smugly.
"Cram it, Chrissy, you don't have the first clue either," Chef remarked.
"I uh...I refuse to comment on that accusation," Chris replied. "Let's move along, we've got another episode to get to. Keep watching, folks, another episode coming right up...this is Total Drama Resort!"
(Theme Song Plays…)
(Seaside Suckers)
Confessional:
Kirby-The sea has reclaimed her first tribute….Zenika….(he pauses soberly and seems to just stare sternly at nothing) May the waves be kind to you, may the current bring you to where you are meant to be. You will be missed, and yet I can rest easy knowing that you are in the most capable hands of all…
Fabio awoke and found himself to be the only member of his team still in bed. He quickly got up, shook himself off, and found his signature shades. The boy scurried outside and found Kirby just gazing out at the water.
"Predictable as ever," Fabio remarked with a slight chuckle to himself.
"Good morning," Kirby greeted. "Soothing dreams last night?"
"Hardly!" Fabio sighed loudly. "Very first challenge and we lose already? You can bet that was on my mind."
"Let go of your burdens," Kirby suggested. "Leave them on the land, they will only anchor you. Your new life awaits aboard the sea, and any remaining tethers will do you no good now."
"Yeah, yeah, great pep talk," Fabio remarked dismissively, "But doesn't work so much seeing as we're still on the land here."
"It is...a metaphor!" Kirby declared. "The sea does not have to be the literal sea, but perhaps the sea of fame, drama, and strategic gameplay that seeps in all around us. We are deep underwater now!"
"Uh-huh..you're really putting in the effort to make this sea thing happen, eh?" Fabio noted.
"The sea is my reason to be," Kirby stated exactly. "Perhaps how you feel about money?"
"Hey hey, whoa, not a fair comparison," Fabio said defensively. "EVERYONE wants money, it's just a matter of fact! If they tell you that money doesn't buy you happiness crap, they are selling you a lie. Of course money can buy happiness, it can also buy food, clothes, a swanky place to live, there is not a person in the world who wouldn't be happier with a little more money. I'm just embracing the truth, this isn't some obsession."
"Mm...if you say so," Kirby breathed with a nod and the hint of a smirk.
"Hey what is that supposed to mean!?" Fabio accused angrily.
"It is not supposed to mean anything," Kirby said with a shrug. "If you say so...then so be it."
"No, no, you are saying it with a hint of sarcasm, like you think I'm full of it!" Fabio pouted.
"If you say so," Kirby echoed.
"Stop saying that!" Fabio demanded with a stamp of his foot.
Kirby was silent, though gave an inquisitive tilt of his eyes.
"So uh...where's our third?" Fabio asked.
"She said something about how she did not like the loser vibe of this area and was off to find a more appropriate spot to spend her morning," Kirby answered.
"Yeah, well she better park her ass back here, cause like it or not, right now we're all losers," Fabio remarked. "And believe me, I don't like it one bit!"
Confessional:
Fabio-Man, not only did we start at a disadvantage, but we're suddenly set back another step when we lost and had to vote out Zenika. Now we're down to three while the other teams are standing strong at five. I can see my precious money slipping away already, no no...come back money...don't leave me...I'm still here for you…(he drops to his knees and sobs for a bit before pulling himself back up) Ahem anyways, we are standing on pins and needles here so one more bad day and the dream could be over for me.
Kirby-Fabio...hmm...a man beleaguered by such material motivations. I suppose we all want something in this life, though for the sake of his blood pressure, I am hoping that he can learn to find pleasure in simpler things, such as the gentle lapping of the morning tide.
(Hilltop Heroes)
Lex had gotten up and left the cottage to quietly wander through the main square. They slid down a narrow alley and crept into an open window that led to a dusty cellar, full of old signs and decorations. Lex breathed a slight sigh of contentment. They pulled out a sketchbook which quickly engulfed their focus. They would occasionally glance up at the now faded and broken pieces of fanfare before eagerly scribbling down new designs. Suddenly, Lex felt a chill fall over them as a shadow cast over their shoulder. Lex turned around to see Natalia, almost hovering over her, with a dead expressionless gaze.
"Oh uh um...sorry," Lex murmured out. "Not...not sure what I'm sorry for heh, I guess I just...I didn't see you there...sorry…"
Natalia remained silent.
"I was just uh...well thought I'd just take some time to myself and work on my designs," Lex explained. "Take a bit of a break from it all you know...or maybe you don't know...maybe that's just a me thing...but uh well...is this uh...I didn't realize...is this your spot?"
Natalie exhaled, ever so slightly, before speaking up and answering, "I seek out the darkest corners. I find shadows soothing, where light can no longer shape our realities, paint lies for our eyes to dance around. I come here to feel closest to the voices."
"Oh uh...that's nice," Lex stammered.
"It is anything but," Natalie replied icily.
"Well uh, I can sort of relate to that, oh yeah," Lex tried to converse. "You know, I like to just be alone and out of sight, that's when I get most creative. Like you need to just shut off the outside world to truly find what's inside of your heart."
"That sounds stupidly sickening," Natalia scoffed, "like something you might find on a second-hand tea coaster, or teenage makeup tutorial."
"Oh…" Lex just whimpered.
"We are not the same," Natalia stated. "Do not try to relate to me, it is not possible, we live two different lives. Mine is plagued with cursed knowledge that never allows me a moment's reprieve. Yours…"
Natalia gave a guttural sound as she threw a dismissive wave towards Lex.
"It's true, we might be different, but that doesn't mean there's nothing that connects us," Lex offered. "I may not fully understand you, but we might be closer than you think. The world can be a bit too much for me at times too, you know. I wouldn't call it endless suffering but well...it can certainly feel that way when I get overwhelmed and I can't think about anything at all except wishing that I could disappear."
"I find this conversation disturbing," Natalia declared. "Let us change it."
"Oh okay...that's fine," Lex said. "What...what would you like to talk about?"
Natalia was silent before suggesting, "You drawings."
"Oh, you want to see them?" Lex said shyly. "Well...sure, what's the harm? They're uh...they're not complete yet, just works in progress, but uh...well...let me know what you think."
Lex presented their sketchbooks, showing various drafts of outfits, some billowing dresses, others sleek jackets. Natalia's expression showed distaste.
"I think they're hideous," Natalia stated.
"Ah...I uh...I see, that's uh...that's certainly honest of you," Lex replied, their voice cracking somewhat with a quiver.
"Don't take it the wrong way," Natalia said. "The world lacks perfection, the web that spells life for the spider, spells death for the fly. And in that sense, the thoughts of others are truly meaningless, for with each thought, there is an equal and opposite. You've created something...poignant. Are you happy with it?"
"Well uh...you mean, personally? I guess uh...I guess it could use some...well for right now, yes, I guess I am happy with it," Lex babbled.
"Then that is all that matters," Natalia declared.
"Thank you?" Lex said uncertainly.
"You are welcome," Natalia replied.
Confessional:
Lex-Natalia is definitely a little different, but then again so am I, I've been the odd one out all my life, so by no means do I intend to judge her for it. I try to treat others how I would like to be treated, I may not fully understand Natalia, or why she is...the way she is, but none of that should matter. We're on the same team, so for right now I need to just get out of my comfort zone and do my best to be a friend.
Natalia-My morning was ruined by the presence of another, though I suppose it was not even much of a grand morning to begin with, so little is lost. Lex is frail, lost and uncertain, but I am not going to bend. They deserve the same thorny truth as the rest of us, or else they will never learn to grow.
(Grotto Guardians)
Ander walked up the steps and emerged to the surface. As he entered the daylight, he was immediately greeted by a grinning Corny.
"Well howdy, bud!" Corny said with a wave.
"Ah...good morning," Ander said curtly, clearly caught by surprise.
"So, where you off to so early!?" Corny asked.
"I was just going to the bathroom," Ander explained awkwardly.
"OOoooh, I read ya, partner!" Corny gleamed. "Let me tell ya, they did not waste any expense on these porcelain domains. I swear to Aunt Jemima, the faucets themselves are worth more than my every possession. 'Course that don't mean much, seeing as I own next to nothin' at all, but just imagine I was your average kid who had regular stuff like ya know, a playstation, a full closet of clothes, a phone…"
"Right," Ander remarked succinctly, showing no interest in carrying the conversation.
Ander tried to walk past Corny, but the other boy just kept at his side, walking and talking at the same time.
"Wrackin' my brain here to think if I could list any nicer bathrooms I've seen with my own two eyes," Corny continued to prattle. "There was this one time, I checked into a posh hotel-well mind you, I wasn't exactly the one checkin' in, but I was in their suitcase. Come to think of it, I ain't even too sure WHAT my plan was, I just figured i'd smuggle myself in and once that happened I would somehow just slide into a vacant room, easy peasy. Crazy right!"
"Mm," Ander grunted.
"But you start to get a little desperate when you've been away from the finer things for so long," Corny explained, "or not even the finer things, but just all the things you might take for granted. Your minds starts to dream big, and I guess at the time I was just feeling crazy enough to do something a little stupid on the pipedream chance that it might actually pay off."
"I see," Ander said bluntly.
"Anyways, long story short, next thing I know I'm running through the halls chased by some mean lookin' ushers," Corny continued.
"At some point is this story going to result in you in a bathroom?" Ander sighed with exasperation.
"Well that's the funny part," Corny said with a broad grin. "I never did make it to the bathroom, but I'll BET they were spectacular."
"I'm sure they were," Ander said as they arrived at the door to the washroom. "As you can see, we're here now so…"
"No worries, bucko, I'll just wait for ya out here!" Corny said.
"That's really not necessary," Ander implored.
"Ain't a thing!" Corny promised. "We got this whole bondin' thing goin' on now, no point in rushin' off anywhere else."
"I think we may be...experiencing things a little differently," Ander sighed.
"Oh-ho?" Corny inquired.
"Look, if I'm being totally honest with you here, I'm not really searching for friends out here," Ander explained.
"No need to search, bucko, I already found ya!" Corny laughed.
Ander rubbed his forehead.
"You do realize the nature of the game right?" Ander asked. "This is a competition, we have to vote each other out. Chances are at some point we will need to work against each other. There is only one winner after all. I think it would just be easier on us both if we did not try to complicate things. I don't want there to be any hard feelings that blur the game."
"Hmm," Corny mused while biting on his finger in thought. "I hear ya, bud, but let me throw somethin' else at ya! What if we're the Top Two? Checkmate, bestie!"
Ander just turned around and entered the bathroom while Corny chuckled triumphantly to himself.
Confessional:
Ander-I could just play along with Corny, but it would feel hollow and deceitful. Back home, if I need to screw someone over-rob, deceive, even hurt-it's easier to remind myself that they're a jerk who has it coming. I don't want to make friends with people I fully intend to knock down to get ahead.
Corny-Ander and I, I dunno, man, we just got this good chemistry goin' 'tween us, I feel it in my bones! He's quiet and all tough, and I'm just a bucket full of fun, but we go together so well. The real dream team is happenin' right here, folks!
(Hilltop Heroes)
"Give me those good vibrations, baby!" Nora chanted while swaying her body under the sun. "Today is going to be a good day, if I just reach out and grab it!"
Omber emerged and saw the girl half dancing, half stretching on the grass.
"Getting ready for today's challenge?" Omber asked.
"No such thing as being too ready," Nora replied. "I say we might as well get the vibes right so we're bringing that loving energy to the table today."
"I'm all in favor of that," Omber said with a smile. "Any sign of Sammy this morning?"
"Ooooh, many signs, hun, many, many signs," Nora sighed with a shake of her head. "Let's see, first he told me that he overheard Natalia sleep-talking about blindsiding me, then he 'just remembered' that he caught Lex looming over my bed with a pair of scissors last night."
"That's-" Omber tried to say, but Nora raised a finger to his lips.
"After that," she continued, "he returned to tell me that sometime between getting up and leaving the room, everyone agreed to a 'top secret alliance.' When pressed for details, he said his very life was in danger just by telling me. Of course, I barely had time to process that before he added that Lex keeps a book of unflattering photos she gathered from my cousin, Memphis. Oh, and I also learned that apparently I have a cousin, Memphis, who is good friends with Sammy."
Omber listened silently, though once Nora finished he asked, "And that was it?"
"And THEN!" Nora continued, "he comes around and tells me that the whole secret alliance thing was actually a test. A test of what, I ask. All that matters is that you passed, he says. I'm just relieved he seemed to wander off and bother one of the other teams."
"Good riddance indeed," Omber said. "How about Natalia or Lex?"
"Barely a whisper from those two," Nora answered with a shrug. "They don't talk much, do they?"
"If Natalia is talking, it's usually one of her ominous speeches," Omber remarked.
"Right," Nora agreed. "That girl has some spooky stuff going on up in her head. Hey, I ain't hating, we're all a part of the same rainbow...I just never saw a rainbow with dripping jet black before."
"Well I'll tell you one thing I'm sure of," Omber said, "you've got a pretty solid head on your shoulders. I am thinking here, if the two of us were to work together, we probably could have no trouble riding this team right to the merge."
"Sugarbean, that is music to my ears," Nora exclaimed, "And I am all about good music! Count me in!"
"Happy to hear it!" Omber replied.
Confessional:
Omber-Working with Nora just makes sense to me. Out of everyone here, she has all the right traits to go far. She's friendly, energetic, driven. If an alliance was going to happen here, she's bound to be a part of it, so I might as well make sure that I am too.
Nora-When a sweet beat comes your way, you don't stop to question it, you just get to dancing. Right now, Omber is offering me a funky little diddy to groove to, so why would I say no? Right now I'm just focused on the dance!
(Grotto Guardians)
Yuka had also left behind the beds to pace through the woods. To her annoyance, Josiah appeared to be following her. When she picked up the pace, he did too. Eventually she turned around to glower at him. Josiah responded with a grin and a wave.
"What do you want!?" Yuka demanded.
"Nothing, nothing," Josiah shrugged casually. "But you know, I was just thinking of the time I had a mission in Belize, I was actually partnered with a woman just like you."
"I do not care," Yuka stated. "But also I highly doubt that she was just like me. BELIZE!? Ha! Anyone raised in such a climate would be helpless in the North, helpless I say! Probably would freeze just upon breathing in the crisp air, filled with flecks of ice."
"Yeah, she was a bit of a tough cookie like you too, but eventually I was able to earn her respect," Josiah continued, ignoring Yuka's rant.
"I highly doubt I'd ever be able to respect someone who unironically uses the phrase 'tough cookie,'" Yuka declared.
"So fiery, so sassy, you really know how to keep me on my toes, eh?" Josiah laughed.
The two were interrupted by Misty making her through the woods and catching up with the group.
"Miss Misty!" Josiah exclaimed. "You're just in time, I was just about to get into the details of my brush with death in Belize, the bullet missed by head by...this much."
Josiah made a small pinching motion along the side of his forehead.
"And I was just about to leave," Yuka declared.
"Josiah, that is soooo thrilling," Misty cooed. "And you know, I would love to hear all about it, truly. But I was just wondering if you'd seen Corny anywhere?"
"Again with Corny," Josiah sighed with frustration. "Look, look, Misty, doll, let me just break something down for you. I've been around the world more than a few times, and I've seen guys like Corny all the time. They're not special, they're not thrilling, they never live up to what you may be hoping for."
"I don't understand why you needed to travel around the world just to look in the mirror, but okay," Yuka remarked.
"YOU, I thought you were leaving," Josiah snapped.
"Don't mind her, Josie, I'm sure you have a very nice mirror," Misty said sweetly.
"Well, heh, I kinda do," Josiah boasted, "complete with state of the art technology that lets me connect with top secret files all while brushing my hair."
"Wow, after all that government funding and they still let you take the summer off from saving the world for...a reality show," Yuka remarked. "There is no quitting from The North, you know!"
"Then why aren't you there right now?" Misty asked.
"Ladies, ladies, I understand the concern," Josiah exclaimed. "How can I expect you to trust me if I can be whisked away at any moment, my country needing my services without warning…"
"It would actually be quite the relief," Yuka said.
"But you have no need to worry! As I told too many people I was a spy and it defeated the purpose, so I am being...reassigned!" Josiah exclaimed. "Oh but that was a secret, so don't tell anyone."
"My lips are sealed!" Misty promised.
The bushes rustled again as someone else emerged. It was Sammy.
"Misty, thank god I've found you!" he exclaimed.
"Oh uh...Sonny, is it?" Misty remarked. "I was just wondering when I might be so lucky to see your handso...your striking...your uh...well it's your face."
"Exactly the same for me!" Sammy exclaimed. "Misty, I can't stop thinking about you, you've put a spell on me. This might be crazy but, I love you!"
He was met with two minutes of awkward silence from all of Misty, Josiah, and Yuka.
"I am gonna..I'm gonna go now," Misty said. "I can't do this right now."
Confessional:
Sammy-If there is one thing I don't lie about it is matters of the heart! Well matters of my heart. Starting this morning. So you can trust that I am being 100% serious. Ever since I met Misty the other day, I have been replaying that moment again and again in my head. I dreamed about her last night. And if that's not love, I don't know what is.
Misty-LOVE!? Are you kidding me? Is this a joke? I feel sick! Sure, I'll flirt, I'm used to getting guys under my control, it's easy because it doesn't mean anything. But this? This is too much for me, I can't handle this!
(Seaside Suckers)
"Stupid loser team," Eden grumbled as she paced through the woods. "I am not a loser, why do I have to be stuck with the stink of failure!?"
Eden didn't realize someone was coming sprinting right in her direction until it was too late. She tilted her head just in time to have Misty wallop right into her. The two tumbled to the ground and rolled into a thicket of vines and leaves.
"Rude!" Eden exclaimed.
"Misty, come back!" Sammy called. "I know this might seem like a lot right now, but it's meant to be. And also I have my own swimming pool so you can...okay wait actually, did I say swimming pool? I meant to say, I have my own private jet so uh...actually wait no better idea, okay so my family actually owns a record label, to help you pursue your dream of becoming a famous singer...at least I'm pretty sure that was your dream, right? You know what, if it wasn't your dream, just forget I said anything. I have my own ranch, but uh...not one of those ugly ranches, it's one of those ones they use for weddings, or uh kids' birthdays, and it's full of ponies. I can just imagine us going for a pony ride in the evening. Unless uh, unless the singing thing WAS correct and in that case, I can just imagine you recording your number one love song...Misty if you heard any of this, give me a sign, but also also give me a sign of how much you heard so I know what I'm working with."
"What is go-" Eden tried to say, but Misty clamped a hand over her mouth.
"Okay I am going to take no sign as a sign that you didn't hear any of that," Sammy called out. "So we're going back to the swimming pool then. Misty, just imagine us setting on the side of the pool together!"
Sammy moved on and Misty finally released Eden.
"Keep your hands off of me, I do not want to know where they have been," Eden spat. "So what's the big idea here? I thought your whole thing was getting luring in men like the succubus you are."
"Well maybe you shouldn't make assumptions," Misty scoffed.
"HA! That's a good one! Not making assumptions! On Total Drama? Yeah right, I knew everything I needed to know the minute I laid eyes on every person in this cast," Eden declared.
"Well you're just going to have to reassess your analysis, since you clearly got a few things wrong," Misty said while tapping her finger on Eden's face.
Eden slapped her away and snapped, "I said stop that!"
"What about you?" Misty asked. "Shouldn't you be trying to strike deals on your own team? I can tell you, if I were down to three, I would not be thinking to take a leisurely stroll by myself."
"Hmph, I don't want to make connections to those losers," Eden huffed, 'They're just so annoying and dumb!"
"Well yeah, no duh, they're men," Misty tutted.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Eden asked.
"Here, since I'm feeling so kind and giving today, let me explain something to me," Misty said. "I don't play the flirt card because I'm just so enamored with the idea of landing a man. Hardly! The vast majority of men are stupid shallow oafs that will leave you disappointed. But rather than be like you, a dried up little raisin of bitterness, I've turned my feelings into a weapon. I know how to play boys, and the key is to do it with no remorse, you'll be surprised to see what you're capable of. If you're willing to give it a try that is."
Misty gave Eden a wink.
"Wow...just wow," Eden breathed. "You really think you're all that, huh? You really think you're the Queen of Mean out here? Oh thank you, Your Majesty, for letting me into the royal secrets. I can feel the world opening up to me, how could I ever be so naive, the possibilities are endless now that you've opened my eyes with that earth shattering little speech."
"Well fine, be like that, last time I try to help you out," Misty sneered. "Maybe I'll give you a wave when you're being carted off the island tonight. Ta-ta!"
Confessional:
Misty-As much as I hate to admit it, I could have wound up like Eden if I'd made some different choices in my life. I do see a sad little spark of me in her. But here's the thing, the second you start caring about what others think, you've already lost. When you make others care about you? That's when you get them in the palm of your hand!
Eden-I'm sure in Misty's own mind, she is some sort of fierce diva who has shed her childish shell and emerged a woman, but she's just another mean girl with her head in the clouds. Oh you've found a way to justify your toxic behavior? I guess that just solves everything, enjoy your life devoid of anything resembling an intimate connection!
(Later)
The three teams followed Chris away from the villa and into the woods.
"Well this doesn't seem like a great place for a challenge," Eden remarked. "I thought this was Total Drama Resort? The resort is that way!"
"Ah, but that's where you're wrong, my dear sweet staffer," Chris laughed. "You see, our patrons could visit any resort in the country, but here? They are coming for the Wawanakwa experience! They want to see what this island has to offer...and you're going to show it to them!"
A small bus driven by Chef pulled up and came to a halt.
"Alright folks, here we are, the big ol' wild," Chef said. "End of the line, get on out!"
Large groups of tourists and guests huddled out and looked around in awe.
"For today's challenge, you will be giving these guests a hiking tour of the untamed grounds beyond the safety of the resort walls," Chris explained. "Here, take these…"
Chef brought out a large metal case which Chris opened up to reveal several handheld radios.
"You'll use these to communicate as a team once you've broken up into two groups," Chris said. "One of you will be guiding the tour groups, making sure they get a full and informative view of everything the island has to offer. The others will be scouting ahead, giving direction on what to look for...or what to avoid. Remember, keep it exciting, but keep it safe too, nothing shuts down a good attraction faster than a lawsuit. At the end of the day the guests will be given a survey and will be ranking the day on how exciting, engaging, and safe it was. The team that scores the lowest…"
"You're OUTTA here!" Chef barked.
"Or at least one of you will be at the end of the elimination ceremony," Chris said. "Start planning your approach, but make it quick, these people aren't going to wait all day!"
The Seaside Suckers huddled together.
"Hm, this attraction seems inherently flawed," Kirby noted. "How can we show them the beauties of the sea if we're supposed to be taking them through the woods?"
"Who cares," Eden groaned. "It's a stupid hike. Oooh there's some trees, can't see that anywhere else right? This is sooo worth the time and money saved for a family vacation."
"Okay, idea: Little Miss Cheer and Joy can be a scout...far, far away from the people looking for a good time," Fabio suggested.
"Whatever," Eden grunted.
Yuka meanwhile had taken charge already of the Grotto Guardians group and was marching around the wide eyed tourists.
"Alright listen up, you're leaving behind the safe bubbles of your luxurious lives," Yuka grunted. "Everything you know about life, you can forget it. Out here everything can and WILL try to kill you, that is the one truest fact of nature that you should never forget."
"Daddy, I'm scared!" whimpered a small girl with blonde pigtails.
"Good," Yuka barked in her face. "Fear is a primal motivation. Use that fear to stay alive. The second you set foot on the other side of the fence, you SHOULD be afraid at all times. The second you let your guard down, you will find a pair of fangs wedged deep into her intestines."
The small child began to sob.
"But uuuh...y'all folks don't have anything to worry 'bout," Corny chimed in, quickly shimmying in next to Yuka, "because our survival expert, Yuka, will be paving the way. I mean, just look at how big and tough she is, you ain't gonna find anything scarier than her out there!"
"That's not what I-" Yuka tried to say.
"Give it up for Yuka, everybody! Who's done a great job reminding us to be careful and watch where we step," Corny exclaimed. "I'll take it from here, better get a move on, Yuka, make sure we have a safe path. As for the rest of y'all, my name's Corny and I'll be your guide for this trip!"
Corny received scattered applause.
"Heh," Josiah chuckled with a cocky shake of his head, "Nice try, but I think these people deserve their money's worth, not some average cornball talking about the weather."
"Well it IS a lovely day, I'll give you that," Corny remarked.
"I'll give you the kickass tour you deserve," Josiah continued, "as one of Canada's most prolific international agents, I know a thing or two about living life on the edge. Let's take a look at some of the danger out there."
"From a safe distance," Corny reminded.
"Sounds like you two have this handled, I might try scouting," Ander remarked.
With the Hilltop Heroes group, Nora was trying to urge the guests to get moving,
"Come on, you cool cats, up and at'em. Throw your hands in the arm, get'em on up there!" Nora exclaimed while bouncing in place.
She received a few confused looks from youths and parents alike.
"We've got a long trip ahead of us, you're gonna want get those limbs moving and that blood flowing," Nora urged. "Come on now, you might even have a little fun!"
"Looks like you've already got a good rapport with these people," Omber noted with a smile. "Looks like we might have found our guide."
"And I can be your scout," Sammy exclaimed. "In fact I've already spotted one natural beauty."
Sammy winked at Misty.
"Uuhh...change of plans!" Misty exclaimed as she grabbed Ander by the arm. "I'll scout, you can guide."
"There's no reason we can't both be scouts," Ander pointed out.
"I'll give you a reason...you really want to leave those two in charge of people's lives?" Misty said as she gestured to Corny and Josiah.
"Now I'm no scientist, but one thing I've found to be true is that if a mushroom has less than five spots, it probably won't kill ya," Corny explained as he pointed to some fungus on a tree.
"Ha! Maybe if you have a weak metabolism. My stomach can digest anything!" Josiah exclaimed as he swallowed a large speckled mushroom whole.
He immediately turned queasy and began to shake throughout his body.
"MmmmMMMmmm...delicious," Josiah slurred. "Ifeelfineitsfinesofine...gguuhuh…"
"Point taken," Ander sighed.
"Okay bye, have fun!" Misty exclaimed.
"Ooh, trying to find somewhere private for us," Sammy said as he followed after Misty. "I like it!"
"I think...we might need one more scout," Omber noted.
"I can do it," Lex offered. "Truth be told, I wasn't meant to guide. I doubt they'd even be able to hear my voice.:
"If I am guiding, I will lead this tour into the darkest depths of human failure that we as a people have refused to address," Natalia stated.
"Yeah, you can scout too, I'll help Nora with the tour," Omber said.
"As if I didn't spend enough time with you already," Natalia seethed towards Lex.
"Hi, um...sorry," Lex remarked.
"Stop apologizing, it is weak and unbecoming," Natalia ordered.
Confessional:
Omber-Hm, there is definitely some tension between Natalia and Lex. I am not quite sure what happened between them this morning, but this seems like useful information to have on hand.
Josiah-I don't know what Misty sees in Corny, but that's why I offered to go this tour the PROPER way! The two of us side by side, there's no way to deny that he's nothing but a sad little mite, and I'm the full package!
Eden-It's just as well that I'm doing the scouting job, I have no idea how I would have made a place this lame seem worth seeing.
(Seaside Suckers)
"Let's get a move on, folks! Plenty to see today!" Fabio exclaimed.
Fabio rallied the crowd to follow behind him as they began to explore the forest.
"You know, I won't lie," Kirby whispered to Fabio, "I'm a little worried about our chances here. I'm not sure if we can rely on Eden to find worthwhile sights."
"There are plenty of worthwhile sights to see!" Fabio assured. "Or at the very least, we can make it seem that way."
"I'm not sure if I follow," Kirby replied.
"Life is what you make it," Fabio explained. "I may not be rich right now, but you think that stops me from living large? Hell no! You gotta put forward what you wanna get and one day the lie will become the truth. These people here? They want a vacation, not just from place to place, but from their boring mundane lives. So long as we make this place sound exciting and exotic, they will believe it."
"Are you sure?" Kirby asked.
"Just follow my lead," Fabio promised. "Alright folks, let's take a break here cause you're not gonna want to miss this!"
Fabio held out his hands broadly to the open.
"Uh...what shouldn't we be missing?" a man asked.
"You see this moss? It's almost entirely extinct. Due to its highly addictive properties, it was a highly desired commodity by settlers, so much so that King James the Sixth had to order it all be burned to the ground. What you are looking at now may very well be one of the last remaining samples."
Fabio slapped away the hand of a teenage girl reaching out to examine the plant.
"Don't touch it, the second it comes in contact with your skin you will crave its soft, soothing texture so much so that you'd be willing to sell out your own mother just to bring some home with you," Fabio warned. "Let's move align now!"
"Is that true?" a woman asked.
"Great question, but before I answer that, let's all take a look to the right, quickly now before it disappears!" Fabio ordered.
Everyone turned to see a deer just before it jumped away and out of sight.
"Now that there was Speckled Silk Caribou," Fabio announced. "Known for leading prospectors to pockets of gold during the Rush. Oh it is considered good fortune to see one of those, we're all going to be in for some good luck now."
"What's that?" a child asked as he pointed to a small bird in the sky.
"It appears to be a Common-" Kirby began to say.
"Common Nutbury Thrush, good find! They sleep 23 hours of the day, so truly this is a rare sighting indeed!" Fabio claimed.
Confessional:
Fabio-Yeah sure maybe it's not all 'factually accurate' but who cares!? These people aren't here for a science class, they just want to be excited, awed! Just tell them that we have stuff that they won't find anywhere else, and that's all it takes to be convinced the trip was worth it.
(Grotto Guardians)
"Keep up, folks, you don't want to be left behind and eaten by the ferocious predators that lurk the island!" Josiah exclaimed as he briskly marched through the woods.
Several children cowered at his words.
"He's just joking around, no need to panic," Corny explained. "Feel free to take your time and enjoy the sights."
Josiah shook his head and pulled Corny aside.
"You trying to kill the mood here, bro?" Josiah asked. "Maybe safe and sound is how you do it back in Nowhere, Who Cares, but these people are itching for some excitement and thrills. The more we play up the danger they're in, the more rewarding it will be for them to claim they survived."
"Well I 'unno about that, bud," Corny said with a scratch of his head. "Seems like there's plenty to be excited 'bout just the way it is. We don't wanna scare the little ones so hard that they miss out on all the fun."
"They'll be fine, trust me!" Josiah exclaimed.
While the two bickered, Ander noticed that a small boy had broken from the crowd and was wandering away from the group, deeper into the woods.
"Excuse me, little guy...get back here, please," Ander called. "Hello! I know you can hear me, please stay with the group."
The boy just squealed with delight and kept running away. Ander was approached by a man and woman who appeared to be the boy's parents.
"Good luck with that," the man laughed. "That kid does what he pleases and there's no stopping it."
"He's such a free spirit," cooed the mother.
"Yes, well for his own safety, I'd prefer he stick with the group," Ander said.
Ander chased after the boy, pushing aside brambles in his way. By the time he caught, he found the child looking over a large gorge beneath the hilltop.
"Careful now," Ander urged.
The rest of the group soon arrived behind.
"Ah, I see we've hit our first destination," Corny exclaimed. "Take a gander at this mighty drop. From a safe distance of course!"
"Safe distance, pfft," Josiah scoffed. "You can't appreciate the view unless you get right up to the edge. Come on, everyone, get on up here."
"I don't think that-" Ander tried to say.
"Reee-lax!" Josiah exclaimed, putting his arm around Ander. "I've performed numerous sky drop landings, and I've got reflexes like a feline. I'll make sure no one comes close to getting hurt."
"Sky drop, yahoo!" exclaimed the child before leaping over the edge.
"Oh wait, don't do that," Josiah said.
"Our son has no fear," exclaimed the mother lovingly. "So proud of him trying new things without hesitation."
"Oh no ya don't!" Corny exclaimed, diving after the boy.
Corny managed to grab onto the child, before realizing that he had not tethered himself to anything to keep him from falling as well. Luckily, Ander acted fast and grabbed Corny by the leg.
"Again! Again!" cheered the boy from within Corny's arms.
"Let's uh...let's keep the tour moving," Corny said between deep breaths.
Confessional:
Josiah-Thrilling memories AND no one got hurt, I call this an absolute win for our team!
(Hilltop Heroes)
"Let's all get in tune with the music of nature," Nora instructed her tour group. "Sway like the leaves, floating gently along a breeze. Now let's all left our arms like the bird, soaring through the sky. One step after another, let it all glide together."
Omber and the group all tried to mimic her movements.
"And then stop!" Nora halted abruptly and the group awkwardly bumped into each other. "And sliiiiide on back as you get a good luck at the trees above us."
"I'm bored," complained a teenage girl. "This is lame!"
"Let go of that pent up frustration and let the rhythm fill your body," Nora suggested.
"You're not the boss of me!" the girl pouted. "Only my Life Guru can tell me what to do."
"Hey, uh Lex? Sammy?" Omber said into the radio. "Any luck on finding us any sights? I think the guests are getting a little restless."
"Oh yeah definitely, you are gonna want to see this!" Sammy responded. "Just a little further and then to the left when you see the fallen oak tree. There's a...there's...I can't even...it's like an elephant! Yes, there is an elephant just wandering through like nobody's business. I can't quite see...maybe it's a rhino...it's something big alright! Get here quick!"
"About how likely do you think it is that he's telling the truth?" Omber remarked to Nora.
"I'd say about 2% if I'm feeling generous, but right now that's all we have to go on," Nora sighed. "Alright folks, keep your eyes wide and your feet light, we're going to creep on through the bushes and hope to see some beautiful wildlife!"
Nora followed Sammy's directions and led the group.
"Here's the fallen oak tree," Omber noted, "We're almost there. Eyes open everyone."
Nora danced from tree to tree, though the group was only getting more restless.
"Where are the elephants!?" a child whined.
"I don't see anything," pointed out another man.
"Keep it easy, everyone, most animals don't like loud noises," Nora pointed out.
"This seems like a complete bust," complained the same teenage girl.
"Bahahaha!" Sammy laughed from behind a tree. "Oooh you should see your faces! Gotcha!"
"What a surprise," Omber groaned.
"Okay, it seems we may have been a little mistaken," Nora tried to salvage the situation. "But there are still other fun critters to look for. Uh...ooh, a gecko!"
"Mommy, mommy, they said there would be elephants!" a child sobbed.
"I know, sweetheart," consoled the mother before shooting a death glare at Nora and Omber. "They lied to us!"
Confessional:
Omber-(rubbing his temples) Well, I think we can kiss goodbye to any shot at winning this survey. You know, in another setting I would be truly fascinated by Sammy. What does he want? What is his motivation? Did he only come here to make a fool of himself and get kicked out as soon as possible?
(Seaside Suckers)
Eden paced through the woods, examining her surroundings with a total lack of enthusiasm.
"Report, skipper!" Kirby's voice came through the radio. "What sights are there to behold?"
"Just a whole lot of nothing," Eden remarked. "Let's see, trees, rocks, dirt, some sort of wild female in a heat of sexual fury oh wait no that's just Misty."
"Very funny," Misty remarked as she pulled herself over a large mossy log. "I see you'd still sooner judge others before trying anything else."
"Hey, you have your way and I have mine," Eden said. "We'll see who gets the last laugh."
"I'm getting the last laugh," Misty declared.
"Ha! We'll see about that," Eden scoffed.
"You know what I have to say to that?" Misty retorted. "Ha!"
"HA!" Eden echoed.
"Hahahaha!" Misty obnoxiously laughed in Eden's face.
"Just get out of my way," Eden ordered.
"Why don't you take your way and put it somewhere else, away from me?" Misty suggested.
"Maybe I will!" Eden exclaimed.
"See that you do!" Misty ordered.
The two both turned to the same direction and kept walking.
"What are you doing!?" Eden demanded "Stop following me!"
"Following you? This is the way I was going," Misty scoffed. "If you don't like it, turn around."
"Never!" Eden protested. "It doesn't matter anyways, there's nothing on this dumb island worth…...seeing…."
Eden was suddenly distracted by a massive waterfall that the two had come upon. White mist sprayed the air as roaring streaks of water tumbled down the side of a mountain.
"It's beautiful," Misty gasped.
"Just wait till my team sees this!" Eden exclaimed as she pulled up her radio.
"Wait stop, don't do that!" Misty gasped, grabbing Eden by the arm.
"Let go of me, what are you doing!?" Eden snapped.
"If both our teams come here it will defeat the purpose, it won't be special anymore," Misty pointed out. "Since you clearly don't care about this game, why not just let me have this one?"
"Oh NOW you want me to stop caring when it suits you?" Eden scoffed. "Well you're plain out of luck, that's not the way I operate. Hey, Kirby, get your butt over-"
"Now, I can't let you do that!" Misty exclaimed as she tried to pry the radio out of Eden's hands.
The two struggled with one another before they veered too close to the edge. Misty tumbled backwards straight towards the water. She clutched on to Eden's arm and the two of them both plummeted straight into the rushing water.
Confessional:
Eden-You know what I really hate? Hypocrites! People who take one look at me and think they've got me oh so figured out. Just because I don't play by Misty's rules, she thinks I don't want to be here? Yeah okay that's convenient reasoning. So stupid!
(Hilltop Heroes)
Lex and Natalia wandered the woods together, unsure of what exactly they were searching for.
"Ooh look, some flowers," Lex exclaimed, "Maybe they'd like to see this?"
"What joy can be found by these ravenous weeds?" Natalia remarked. "Look at how they strangle and kill all others trying to bloom? Nothing but a grim reminder of the crippling chains we wrap around our own necks and call it salvation."
"Um okay...flowers are a no go," Lex remarked. "They weren't really that pretty anyways. Let's just keep moving."
The two continued in striking silence.
"So um…" Lex tried to converse casually.
"Do you have something to say? Or are you just speaking meaningless words because the silence allows your own demented thoughts the freedom to spread through your body?" Natalia asked.
"I just thought, you know, since we're teammates and all, maybe we could get to know each other a bit," Lex suggested. "I know what you said this morning, I can't pretend like I understand you. I don't know your life. But that won't change unless you share a bit."
"Why would I do that?" Natalia asked. "My life is my burden to bear, it is dark and twisted. Sharing it with another will shatter your feeble strand of optimism and leave me none the better for it."
"Well you don't know that," Lex said. "Sometimes having someone to hear your story helps just a little bit."
"You ask for things you truly do not want. I am doing you a courtesy by ignoring your foolish request," Natalia scoffed.
The two were interrupted by the sound of movement from the bushes.
"Oh no, is that a wild animal?" Lex exclaimed. "Be careful."
However it was Yuka who emerged from the shrubs.
"You are lucky that I am NOT a hungry predator!" Yuka spat. "Look at you, cowering uselessly. You would have been dinner!"
"We all die sometime. The truest wish is not immortality, but a death that serves a purpose," Natalia stated.
"We don't have time for such philosophical nonsense in The North!" Yuka sneered. "There is only life and death and I choose life every single day!"
"Well, maybe the three of us could stick together then," Lex suggested. "You know, join forces? Bring the best of each our skills."
"The best of your skills have no place in the wild, they are better served in the safety of a library or museum or other such luxury buildings that you would never find in The North!" Yuka stated.
"That sounds harsh, but it's actually true and I appreciate it," Lex said. "But we're all here now, so we might as well all try our best."
Yuka just brushed past the two girls and kept walking.
"Is that a yes then?" Lex asked as she followed after her.
Natalia brought up the rear in a leisurely skulk.
"We haven't really had any luck finding much," Lex explained to Yuka. "I'm not entirely sure what people are expecting to see, but I figure-"
Yuka suddenly came to a halt and stuck out her arm to stop Lex as well. Lex was curious at first, but soon realized what had caught Yuka's attention. A snarling coyote had backed up against a tree and was clearly unhappy to see the new arrivals. It barked viciously while its fur stood on end.
"Oh no!" Lex gasped. "What...what do we do?"
"Leave it to me," Yuka said. "I will make a nice fur of this beast."
"What!? No!" Lex gasped. "Don't hurt it!"
The coyote barked again.
"My mission is to keep a safe passage for my team," Yuka stated. "This animal is a threat. Perhaps not to me, but if I let it go now what's to stop it from encountering an errant child!? It's clearly agitated."
"It's a living creature, it hasn't done anything wrong," Lex pleaded.
"Wrong? Ha! There is no right or wrong in The North, nature is ruthless and the only way to survive is to do the same!" Yuka stated. "What would you suggest!?"
"I don't...I don't know," Lex sighed. "But Natalia! Natalia might have an idea! Please, Natalia, please!"
"Me?" Natalia scoffed dismissively. "What do you possibly think I could do?"
"I don't know, but I know that if one of us is going to figure it out, it would be you," Lex said. "You're right, I don't fully understand you, but from what you've told me, you deal with demons of your own. And the way you survive not by fighting them, not by running from them, but by relating, by opening your mind and embracing the world you live in. Right now you're going to need to apply that same courage to this wild animal. We're in its world now."
Natalia stepped forward. She focused her gaze on the coyote. The creature gave a mixture of a bark and a whimper. Natalia continued to move closer, step after step.
"You're right, fear and resistance will only lead to a futile struggle," Natalia said. "We need to coexist. Right now this creature needs to understand that we can both share the same space without getting hurt. It needs to see that we're not looking for a fight, I am not afraid to get hurt."
Natalia crouched down. Her eyes stayed locked with the coyote. It quivering seemed to die down a little; its fur began to come back down.
"Be on your way, I am not going to stop you," Natalia said.
The coyote took a tentative step forward. Natalia remained still. Another step. Once it felt safe to do so, the creature took off bounding away from the group.
"You did it!" Lex exclaimed. "You got it to calm down. How did you know that would work?"
"I did not," Natalia declared. "But you seemed quite confident."
Confessional:
Natalia-Hm, I suppose that Lex did take some things I said to heart...it is to their detriment and they will come to regret it. Oh well.
(Seaside Suckers)
"Oh my god!" Fabio exclaimed in a hushed tone to his group. "Is that...is that what I think it is? I thought they were extinct!"
"What is it!?" gasped someone from the crowd.
"Where, where am I supposed to look?" exclaimed another.
"Oh it's gone now," Fabio said. "Heh, those little devils move quick, eh? Guess that's how it stayed alive."
"What are you talking about?" asked a woman.
"Heh, I saw it!" declared a balding man, who wanted to feel special and important. "Just wait till my friends back home hear about this."
"Oh I think I did too," someone else said. "Just a glimpse, but it was definitely real!"
"What exactly did you see?" Kirby whispered to Fabio.
"I dunno," Fabio said with a shrug, "These people are in our palms now, they'll get excited over oxygen if we tell them it contains rare microbes."
"I'm getting a little worried about Eden," Kirby added. "Her last message...ended rather abruptly."
"Eh forget her!" Fabio scoffed. "We're doing just fine as it is. Now folks, gather around and take a look at this!"
Fabio presented a tree.
"These bad boys were developed by the Canadian Air Force," Fabio explained. "Their sap can be used to fuel jet engines."
"It looks like an ordinary fir tree," a man said.
"Heh, ordinary fir tree, can you believe this guy?" Fabio asked Kirby with a slap on the back.
"Well...it does look like an ordinary fir tree," Kirby said. "I suppose I can believe that."
"Heh, he believes you, can you believe that guy?" Fabio said to the man in the group with a slap on the back.
"Uh...yes?" said the man.
"Well NO, there is nothing ordinary about this tree," Fabio declared. "In fact somewhere around here should be a plaque dedicated to the lives lost trying to find soil that could support its growth without resulting in horrifying explosions. Keep your eyes open for that...assuming it hasn't been consumed by the stone eating moss project!"
Confessional:
Fabio-Too easy, man! I am having far too much fun with this.
(Misty and Eden)
The two girls pulled themselves out of a pool of water and found themselves in a rocky bowl at the bottom of the waterfall. The sides were too smooth and wet for them to scale, so they were stuck just trying to stay atop of stone pinnacles among the water. Both girls were dripping wet.
"Well see what your stubbornness has caused?" Misty scoffed.
"Me!? You're the one who got selfish and had to ruin everything," Eden retorted. "Where is that radio? I am calling my team to come get me."
Misty revealed her radio had fallen apart in the fall. Meanwhile, Eden's had washed away and was nowhere to be seen.
"Ugh!" Eden pouted.
"You know, I don't get you," Misty remarked.
"Ooh surprise of the century, our local airhead doesn't GET me," Eden ranted. "No one gets me! So don't even bother trying!"
"What are you even doing here then?" Misty asked. "Did you just come here to be miserable?"
"I'm miserable everywhere else," Eden said with a shrug.
"You don't say," Misty remarked.
"I've tried," Eden explained. "I've tried to find something I enjoy. Take cheerleading, I get to put my expressions into movements. It's a true artform. But nooooo, nobody cares! It's always put on a smile, put more energy in your step, stick to the scripted chant. It's like being a cheerleader comes with all this baggage of having to obey a set of rules that I never agreed to!"
"Well it's called CHEER-leading," Misty pointed out.
"Exactly! Labels strike again!" Eden snapped. "Everyone needs to put everything into a neat little box, and if you want to step outside of that box, ohohoho, good luck getting anyone to take you seriously. Some of us have vision. What about gloomleading, huh!? A therapeutic activity for overworked students to express their troubled feelings in ways that words just don't seem to work for. I think it's a great idea, but it doesn't adhere to the specifications that have been set out decades before I was even born! What is the point of trying when the only 'good' ideas are the ones that have already been used time and time again?"
"I mean, I hear you, but do you really want to let it get under your skin like that?" Misty asked. "We're not really that different-"
"Oh here we go," Eden groaned.
"I could bring more than a pretty face," Misty said. "But that's the first thing anyone notices about me. Girls stopped wanting to be my friend because their boyfriends couldn't keep their eyes off of me. And rather than be a sad little wallflower for it, I've decided that there's more fun in just playing the game. But I play it my way. Idiot guys already treat me like I'm so trophy to get their hands on, so I let them feel that way, and that's what gives me power over them. And let me tell you, THAT feels great."
"Well good for you, but what exactly am I supposed to do?" Eden asked.
"Play the game, but play it your way," Misty said. "If people are going to underestimate you, good! Let them! Let them think that you're someone that won't overturn their world, and dig yourself deep enough to shatter their perceptions."
"Misty!" someone called from above.
The girls looked up to see Sammy waving.
"I never thought I would say this, but am I glad to see him," Misty exclaimed. "Sammy! Sweetie! I need you to be my hero. Use your radio, bring your team here. We need some help."
"Yeah right!" Sammy laughed before throwing his radio into the water. "No one is going to get in the way of this moment between the two of us!"
Sammy then dived into the water dramatically. With a thunderous splash, the boy hit the pool of water, then surfaced. He pulled himself over to the rocks and climbed up to join Misty.
"At long last, we're together. No one else around, just us lovers isolated from the rest of the world," Sammy said lovingly.
"Um, I'm here too," Eden pointed out.
"Oh hiya!" Sammy exclaimed. "Sorry, I'm trying to have a moment with my true love here."
"Well," Eden whispered to Misty, "this is what you were telling me about, right?"
Confessional:
Eden-Why did I come to this show? Maybe I just needed an excuse to get away from home. But when I got here, I realized that there's really no escape. Everyone here is a cookie cutter replica that you'd find in every high school designed to just produce widgets to stick into the series of cogs we call society. But maybe...just maybe, Misty is onto something here. We're all stuck here together, so if I can defy some expectations, it might just be worth it.
(End of Day)
The groups returned where they started. Chef gathered up survey pamphlets from each of the visitors.
"Well we've had a full day, it would seem!" Chris exclaimed.
Misty, Eden, and Sammy were all still trying to squeeze the water out of their shirts. The rambunctious child was now riding atop Ander's shoulders.
"Faster, Uncle Ander, faster!" the child cheered.
"Heh, looks like he's really taken to you," the father noted. "If you wanted to take him for a few days-"
Ander quickly tossed the child back to his parents.
"Alright, I've compiled these scores and we can determine our winners and losers," Chris said as he reviewed the pamphlets. "Coming in first place….guests described the tour as invigorating, exclusive, and some even said life changing, it's…
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"The Seaside Suckers!"
"YAAAASSSS!" Fabio cheered as he dropped to his knees. "Ahem...sorry folks, this is just really good news for me."
"So that means it's between the Grotto Guardians...and the Hilltop Heroes," Chris said. "Guardians, people said that your tour was engaging and exciting...but perhaps a little dangerous. We have some concerned comments from parents. Heroes, your tour was a little divisive. Some people claimed they've never felt better and it really helped them get in touch with nature, but others felt it was boring, uninspiring, and downright misleading. The losing team is…
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'The Grotto Guardians!" announced Sammy.
"Uh nice try, but no, the Hilltop Heroes are the clear losers of this challenge," Chris corrected. "See you guys tonight where one of you will be kicked out of this resort!"
Confessional:
Fabio-yes….Yes..YES! It;s all coming back together now! I can feel it, the money is returning to me...it's back within reach!
Nora-Well loves, i tried to boogie, I tried to oogie, and I even tried to woogie a bit, but I don't know if there was any saving this challenge for us. Truth be told, we all knew it was only a matter of time before a certain someone tanked our chances, and now it's time to say bye bye bye to that clown!
Omber-This loss doesn't faze me too much, we've got a pretty clear option to agree on. That being said, I definitely noticed some tension between Lex and Natalia, and it's never too late to see if I can stoke those flames and get myself two steps ahead of the curve.
"Okay everyone, look, I know we're all like a family here," Sammy said as the group returned to the hill. "So this vote is downright sickening to consider. I am going to propose that instead of comparing notes, and scheming against one another, we just do the only sensible thing and go in completely blind. Whatever happens will be the true result of our collective hearts."
"Okay, sugar!" Nora exclaimed.
"Fine by me," Omber agreed.
"In the end, our choices do not matter, there is no amount of decisions in any order that could save our loved ones for what's to come," Natalia stated.
"Great, great, I'm just gonna go over here now...out of earshot...but keep up this general sense of peace!" Sammy said while backing up.
As soon as he was gone, Nora stated, "So he's outta here right?"
"That's the impression I was under," Lex agreed.
"Mhm, he's nothing but a sandbag holding us down," Omber said.
"Great! No need to make this messy then. Imma just enjoy the rest of the evening and try to shake off the bad vibes from today." Nora said.
As the group dispersed, Omber made sure to walk with Lex.
"Hey," he greeted. "Sorry you had to get stuck with Natalia today. I know she kind of creeps you out a bit."
"She is strange, that is true," Lex said with a nod. "But honestly, I'm glad to have gotten the time with her. I think she's just used to being a bit of an outsider, and well, I'm working on a way to remind her that she's still included."
"Wow, really?" Omber asked with a smile. "I'm impressed, you're really stepping out of your shell today, huh?'
"Well, I wouldn't say that," Lex said shyly. "I just try to be the friend I wish I had."
"That's very pure-hearted of you," Omber praised. "Just don't set your expectations too high. Some people have grown accustomed to their own raincloud, and rather to be pulled out, they choose to pull people in with them."
"I'll be careful, I promise," Lex said.
Confessional:
Sammy-Heh, see I know there's no way this group actually agrees to some stupid sappy blind vote! I just threw that out there so they see what an innocent angel I am. Now I leave them alone for a bit and let the seeds of discontent sprout up! Huhuhuh, long game, baby!
Omber-Lex and Natalia just give off clear signs of incompatible personalities. Lex may be polite and feel like they needs to make an effort to be Natalia's friend, but Natalia will only continue to dig away at Lex's self esteem, and when they've had enough, I'll be there to turn it around.
Sammy sauntered over to Lex in what he believed was a casual stride but came off as deliberate and obnoxious.
"Um...hi?" Lex greeted.
"Hi hi!" Sammy replied. "I just saw you talking to Omber, let me guess, he was warning you about Nora."
"No?" Lex said with confusion.
"Oh yeah, if anyone's gonna tear this team apart, it'll be her," Sammy said. "You should have seen her this morning. She was obsessed with this idea that you were making some sort of super secret alliance built to get her out. Oh but I wasn't supposed to tell you that, don't let me mess up the blind voting plan. I only said anything since I thought Omber told you, but it's not my place so I'll zip it."
"Okay," Lex said with a nod.
"Just forget I said anything," Sammy said while walking away, "BUT...don't forget what I said."
Meanwhile, Omber had now approached Natalia.
"Hey, thanks for putting up with Lex today," Omber said. "I know the whole friendship thing isn't really for you."
"And yet here you are, talking to me, as if that's something I would enjoy," Natalia simmered.
"Look, I'm just saying thanks for making an effort today," Omber praised. "Even if you'll never really be the person Lex wants you to be."
"I make an effort every day," Natalia declared icily. "I probably make more effort in a single day, not tearing out my own hair in madness, than you could possibly muster in your life. Do you think any one voice is more of a chore than the rest? All of them, like daggers that have been painted with bubblegum fondant."
"Right," Omber said with a nod even though he didn't fully understand.
"Really, it's Lex who made the effort," Natalia stated. "At least according to your terms. I don't care if I'm stuck with them or not, but for some reason they seem committed to the idea. If you're looking for someone to give your sweet praises to, give it to them. It means nothing to me."
"Well uh...okay, I guess I will," Omber said as he backed up. "Good talking with you."
No sooner had Omber walked away did Sammy arrive from the other direction.
"Natalia, baby! I couldn't help but noticed that you just spoke with Omber," Sammy said. "I can't help but wonder if he told you the same thing he told Lex. Which was something about how you were blaming her for some sort of secret alliance meant to get out Nora. I don't know WHERE he would get that idea!"
"Keep wondering," Natalia said as she got up to leave.
From a distance, Nora found herself distracted and unable to look away from the cycle of Omber and Sammy each walking between Natalia and Lex in sync succession.
"What in the Dickens is going on with this team?" she sighed.
Confessional:
Natalia-Too many words. The only good idea I've heard today was shutting up and making this a blind vote. The voices will decide who deserves to be cut!
Sammy-Alright, I've spread so many lies today, and the best part is? There's no way to trace it back to me! Oh yeah, everyone is gonna blame each other now, and all I have to do is sit back and watch this powder keg explode, huhuhuh!
(Dock of Shame)
The Hilltop Heroes joined Chris and Chef along the dock. The sun was beginning to set now, just flicking across the now placid water.
"Hilltop Heroes...not the Heroes of today, I see!" Chris exclaimed.
"Even heroes take setbacks, Chris," Omber replied.
"Maybe, but for one of you, there's no getting back up," Chris said, "The person who receives the most votes will be forced to leave this resort and may never ever return! Who's feeling nervous?"
"Nerves ain't for me, Chrissy," Nora said. "Like with any good dance, you just gotta let the beat flow, and when the song's over, move on along to the next big thing."
"I'll tell you one thing though, Chris," Sammy added. "This vote is going to be an utter MESS!"
"I'm sure it will be!" Chris said. "Chef, the votes if you will…"
"The first vote," Chef announced, "is for...Sammy!"
"The second vote...is for…" Chef continued "Sammy!"
"Third vote…" Chef said. "Is for...Lex!"
"Oh," Lex sighed.
"Fourth vote," Chef declared, "is the same as the fifth.."
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"Sammy!"
"Huhuhuh...wait...that's me!?" Sammy gasped.
"Yes," Chef declared, "Yes it is."
"Oh alright, you guys got me!" Sammy exclaimed. "You figured me out! You took me down! Good show! Good play! I was running circles around all of you! I'm impressed, you really got me here."
"Leave, please," Natalia ordered firmly.
"I'm going, I'm going," Sammy said. "Just remember the drama I brought, though. Don't be afraid to play the game! And tell Misty I lo-"
"And that's enough from you!" Chris said as he shoved Sammy into the Boat of Losers. "Now then, the rest of you have survived your first vote as a team. Pull yourselves together and do what it takes to not wind up back here."
"Roger that, Chris," Omber said
The group departed together.
Votes:
Sammy-Lex, no hard feelings, but you're the one caught up in my web of lies and there's no escape for you now!
Omber-Sammy, you played your role well, but you sure made this easy.
Nora-Sammy, booboo, I don't know what you expected, and to tell the truth I ain't gonna think too hard about what goes on in that head of yours. I just need you to shimmy your way on somewhere else!
Natalia-Sammy...your voice will be silenced!
Lex-Um..Sammy. Yeah sorry, that's some nice stories you have to tell, but...I'm not sure I believe it.
(Conclusion)
"And then there were 12!" Chris exclaimed. "Sammy joins Zenika on Playa Del Losers, another resort that's far less nice than this one. Without their easy target, will the Hilltop Heroes shatter and turn on one another, or will they do like Nora and just keep on dancing to the beat."
Chris tried to demonstrate this by doing a jig of his own, though it ended up looking incredibly awkward.
"Chris, Imma need you to never do that again," Chef said.
"Will Misty's words spark new purpose for Eden, or will she continue to sulk and moan?" Chris continued. "Who will leave us next? Who will win big? Keep on watching as we continue, Total Drama Resort!"