Chris McClean sat alone at a dainty table inside a cafe.
"Good morning, viewers!" he greeted with a grin. "I'm just taking a moment to enjoy some of our exquisite coffee. Here at Wawanakwa Resort, service is second to none!"
Chris waved down a young woman in an apron.
"Yes I'll take a cup, 2 cream please," Chris ordered.
"Sir, we're not open yet, how did you even get in here?" the woman asked.
"How did I get in here? That's adorable," Chris laughed. "Do you know who I am!?"
The woman gave a timid shake of the head.
"Oh…" Chris said suddenly deflated. "Well that's...not going to lie, that hurts a bit. Wow. Let's just get on with this stupid recap…"
The young woman awkwardly stepped away.
"Last time on Total Drama Resort!" Chris continued, "our teams ran a hiking tour for hopeful guests. Eden spent most of her time away from her team, finding them to be too 'loser' for her, but did get some advice from Misty. Sammy continued to spread lies wherever he could, even at the expense of his team's chances in the challenge. They didn't take too kindly to this and he was booted unanimously. Now another day is afoot, another challenge, and another elimination. This is...Total Drama Resort!"
(Theme Song Plays…)
(Hilltop Heroes)
Confessional:
Omber-Ah Sammy, he certainly played his job well. He truly couldn't wait to make himself the most hated person on the team and tank any chances he had. It certainly gave us an easy start, but now the real games begin.
"Vibe check today?" Omber asked Nora while making his bed.
"Ooh, sugar bee, the vibes are good today. So good!" Nora cheered. "For a change I didn't have to hear 52 stories of lies and deceit within an hour of daylight."
"You're really pleased he's gone, huh?" Omber said with a slight chuckle.
"That little booger got what was coming to him," Nora said. "I'm all for everyone getting to dance to the beat of their own drums, but when it starts messing with MY beat, that's when I get mad! You want to dedicate your life peddling lies? Go be a politician. We've got some teamwork to get going on here!"
"I guess now we have to actually work to make sure we can survive the next one though," Omber remarked.
"I've got faith, honeybun, my dancing feet will take me to where I need to be!" Nora assured.
"Right...well, it couldn't hurt to have a plan in place anyways," Omber suggested. "I think we can already see a divide between Natalia and Lex, one that if we play into right, can secure that neither of us are in any danger."
"You sure 'bout that, Twinkletoes?" Nora asked. "Just saw the two of them off together this morning."
"Oh I'm confident," Omber stated. "Trust me, I can pick up on their natures. Lex wants to believe that if they show kindness and openness eventually they'll receive back the same. But Natalia will never give them that. She prides herself on being cold and distant. Eventually the constant presence will push her to be more aggressive, while the constant rejection will gnaw away at Lex's self esteem. Like I said, it's all about playing it just right."
Nora just nodded, somewhat uncertainly.
"Well...this seems like your area of expertise, so Imma leave it to you," Nora said.
Confessional:
Nora-Yeah we're down to four now, but I have some faith that this team can just keep on dancing around the jaws of defeat! Omber's got a plan in place though and he seems to know what he's saying, so I just hope he can back that up.
Omber-I've seen cases like this before, it's usually quite sad really. People like Lex tend to think that others want what they want: To have someone reach past their walls and be their friend. But for others, like Natalia, they're only going to feel offended and intruded on. I just need to make sure Lex realizes this at the exact right time, so that I can direct their vote straight at Natalia.
(Seaside Suckers)
Fabio and Kirby were surprised to see Eden already up, waiting for them on the beach.
"Well about time!" Eden exclaimed.
"I'm sorry I didn't realize we were on a schedule here," Fabio grumbled."What's the rush?"
"The rush is that we need to prepare for this coming challenge," Eden declared. "I don't want to have to beg either of you for votes, that seems pathetic and honestly, beneath me. So if I'm going to stay in this game, it's going to be by winning these challenges. So what is the plan!?"
"The plan...uh...well we don't really know what the challenge is," Fabio pointed out. "I figure we'll just play it by ear."
"Play it by ear? Another term meant to just fall in line and let yourself be directed the way the world wants to mold you!" Eden scoffed. "That's the problem with the world, kids are sent to school told to Find Themselves when really they're just prey waiting to be scooped up by some preexisting clique that needs numbers to continue to validate its fragile existence! Maybe we SHOULD be teaching kids to plan ahead, that they don't NEED to conform to the labels out there. Maybe people wouldn't be afraid to reach for their dreams, if we didn't assign them a list of "acceptable" things to dream for!"
"What are you on about!?" Fabio demanded.
"I don't know!" Eden replied. "I was making a point and it got away from me...but what I can tell you is that I am not going to just stand here and take this negative energy. I am trying to put us on the right track. I am trying to break free of this limiting notion that all we can do is wait. We can do so much more if you can just get out of your own head!"
"Well okay then...good luck," Fabio said with confusion.
"The currents may take us far from where we are meant to be...but I hope that they do bring you back to us,"
"I don't know, I am a free spirit, anything can happen!" Eden exclaimed as she stormed off.
"Well...what is going on with her?" Fabio asked.
"Ah...I've seen this before," Kirby said solemnly with a nod, removing his hat. "Leaving behind our lives rooted in the land can sometimes be freeing...sometimes jarring. The sea allows our truest selves to break free. To no longer be our landborn persona. Perhaps Eden is simply allowing her true selves to fly free."
'"Right, forgot who I was talking to," Fabio sighed.
Confessional:
Eden-I have decided that I do need to start trying here if I want to be taken seriously, but I will NOT be conforming to the basic clueless steps that we're supposed to follow. I will not be wide eyed gaping waiting to be hit with a tonne of bricks and say Oh didn't see that coming! If my team can't support my vision, then I'll just find others who can.
Fabio-Something got into Eden today and suddenly she's all about winning these challenges...but she's still the same old psycho. I have no more interest in working with manic Eden than I did depressed Eden.
(Grotto Guardians)
As Ander rounded a corner, he found himself colliding with Misty. Misty in fact had been waiting for him, and took the chance to try to fall into his arms. When Ander made no effort to catch her, she tried making a more exaggerated motion as though she was tumbling, which just turned into an extended awkward tilted flail. Trying desperately to recover, Misty simply tried to land her hands on Ander's shoulders.
"Oh..fancy running into you here," she finally giggled.
"We are on the same team, it was bound to happen," Ander pointed out. "Are you quite alright? You seem a little uneasy."
"Oh I'm perfectly fine now that you're here," Misty chimed while twirling a strand of her hair. "You know, I can't stop thinking about the team that went to vote last night."
"And why is that?" Ander asked, knowing that Misty was simply baiting for the chance to go on.
Misty released her grip and stood back dramatically as she wistfully remarked, "Sammy…"
"Mm," remarked Ander, not quite sure what else to say to that.
"He was just...so in love with me," Misty remarked. "Perhaps it might be for the best if he were voted out, as I could never return that feeling in full. And yet...what if he's gone and I never get the chance to say goodbye? Really makes you wonder…"
"It does not make me wonder," Ander stated. "As the way I see it, you seem to be making an attempt to attract young men's interest. That appears to be exactly what happened here."
"Oh Ander," Misty breathed with a sense of yearning and awe, "You're so blunt, so direct, so logical. A man like you could be exactly what I need."
"Perhaps," Ander replied. "I wish that man well."
"You're just so well put together, you know exactly what you're doing, but little old me? I'm a mess of emotions," Misty continued, trying to make sure she stayed in Ander's direct line of sight. "It's just all so….confusing, you know? There's hot blooded Josiah who's clearly all about me, and dear little Corny who's too shy to say the words, but I know what he's thinking. What's a girl to do?"
"Have you considered that most of your problems are made up or of your own invention?" Ander suggested.
"I will never consider that!" Misty refused.
Confessional:
Ander-Please don't take me for a fool. It's quite clear that Misty is putting on an act, doing whatever she thinks will get the boys here to fold into her palm. It may work on some of them, but I'm not interested in playing that game.
Misty-I've been focusing on pitting Josiah and Corny against one another for my affections, it's time to turn my attention to Ander. The big strong silent time? Ooh I think I can crack his armor.
(Seaside Suckers)
Eden trudged back through the woods towards the villa once more.
"Stupid team," she grumbled to herself. "Can't even appreciate when I'm trying to get them to think for themselves...hopeless lot! Hopeless i say!"
Eden spotted Lex and Natalia walking through the small town together. Lex held what appeared to be a smoothie. Natalia held black licorice.
"See, I told you that this would be nice," Lex said.
"You did indeed say that," Natalia noted. "But have yet to be proven right, Nothing has been nice."
"Really?" Lex sighed. "You're not having a good time at all?"
"How can I? What good is there to be had when the very fabric of our bubble hangs from a stand ready to snap at any moment?" Natalia said.
"Maybe...maybe just for a little bit you can tune out the voices in your head," Lex proposed. "It can't be healthy to have to bear such gruesome thoughts all the time."
"Can't do that," Natalia replied. "The second we close our eyes and ears to the darkest thoughts out there, we allow ourselves to be caught offguard when the hideous demons emerge."
"Hello, you two," Eden greeted as she stepped between the two.
"Too late," Natalia sighed.
"Oh uh...hello there," Lex said to the newcomer. "Eden, right? What uh...what brings you here?"
"Well to keep it short, my team just sucks" Eden explained. "I couldn't take it any longer, thought I'd check out the other teams. Though they may just suck too."
"Likely true," Natalia stated. "Being divided into arbitrary teams does not change the overwhelming human nature that we all stem from. Birthed of sin and taught to ignore it. We look for difference so that we may tell ourselves we are above someone else, and yet once you've sunken so low, these differences do not matter. Humanity as a whole is damned, and no matter where you go, that will always be true."
"Can I be honest for a minute here?" Eden said.
"Please do," Natalia allowed.
"I think you're trying waaaaay too hard to be edgy," Eden declared.
"Typical. You could not possibly understand the world as I see it," Natalia scoffed. "But instead of accepting my words, you shame me, write it off as fake, because it's easier than to acc-"
"I wasn't finished yet, oh my god! Can't a girl make a full statement without being interrupted!?" Eden barked.
Natalia gave an annoyed gesture for her to continue.
"You may be putting forward way too much effort to keep up this doom and gloom act," Eden repeated. "But you also may be onto something. Dividing the world is just keeping us in our cages so that we can stand off against one another instead of facing our true enemy. The enemy within. Our inability to be true to ourselves without overwhelming shame!"
"Hm...I agree," Natalia said with a nod. "But also it's not an act, my feelings are 100% sincere."
"Ooooh, 100% sincere," Eden echoed sarcastically. "Yeah right okay, look some advice here, dressing up your thoughts with some jet black paint isn't going to make people take them anymore seriously. Oh look, I get it, I've thought about dressing in all black and telling people they were welcoming the end of the world but then I'd just be jumping from one label to another. Just because people don't take you seriously doesn't mean you have to dive into this occult emo identity you downloaded off of Tumblr."
"That's not true, though," Natalia repeated.
"Okay, fine, keep up the act. I already told you I don't believe it, but I guess if you think you're stubborn enough I'll just accept that this isn't all some cry for attention," Eden replied.
"Uh alright.." Lex suddenly interjected. "Look, this was going well for a minute there, let's just pin this discussion. You two girls clearly do have something in common."
"I doubt that highly," Natalia scoffed. "Until you've walked through the flames of hell, every time you close your eyes, no one could possibly have anything in common with me."
"Oh please, that's just high school," Eden remarked. "Teachers trying to figure out why you don't 'fit in' because heaven forbid you prefer to be by yourself than just gabbling along with whatever nonsense you're supposed to be transfixed on. The constant notion that something is wrong with you because you don't feel like smiling and being a ray of sunshine despite the fact that our souls are being crushed with cycles of endless work? It's pretty hard to sleep when every thought you have is just wondering if the next morning will be the day you finally break under it all!"
"Ah yes, I suppose you go understand the metaphorical Hell in a way others may choose to ignore," Natalia noted with a nod. "But I am talking about the literal pit of demons that lives within the shadows of my mind."
"Oh my god, can you not just let me relate to you here?" Eden groaned.
"Never!" spat Natalia.
"Okay, we don't have to all agree," Lex said. "We all see the world in different ways and that's okay, that's what allows us to each bring something different forward. For me, I try to hold an optimistic view, that the world can get better. Natalia, I guess you're pretty devoid of hope and think that all we can do is wait for doom to strike us down. And Eden, well..you're sort of a mix of both, you see the worst in the world...but think it's still worth fighting to make better. And together-"
"Together we can make a great alliance!" Eden exclaimed. "Okay count me in!"
"Ugh," Natalia groaned.
"An alliance? Uh sure...I guess," Lex replied. "What's the harm!"
"Fine, just don't bug me," Natalia said as she turned to leave. "This has been far too much talking for my day already."
Confessional:
Eden-Is an alliance with another team really going to do me any good? Maybe not right now, but as soon as I make it to merge...haha the game is mine for the taking!
Lex-So Eden showed up and just started yelling, and one thing led to another and now we're in an alliance. I think she might be able to understand Natalia a little better than I do though, so maybe this could actually work. Or maybe they'll just fan the flames of each other's misery...hard to say…
(Grotto Guardians)
Ander had slipped away from Misty and made his way up the steps to the surface. There he was quickly greeted by Corny.
"Hiya buddy!" Corny greeted.
""Of course," Ander sighed.
"Perfect timin' runnin' into you here!" Corny exclaimed.
"Truly serendipitous," Ander sighed.
"I was thinkin' we could head over to one of the other teams," Corny suggested. "Get to know who we're up against."
"I see…" Ander said with a nod. "You want to attempt some sabotage? It may be early, but the competitive edge is-"
"What the? No pal!" Corny laughed. "Just make some new friends. Looks like there's also sorts of zany kooks out here with us, I wanna see what they're all about!"
"Ah," Ander replied. "Why?"
"Why? Well aren't ya curious?" Corny asked. "We could meet some real cool people."
"But they are our competition," Ander pointed out. "They have no incentive to be our friends. This sounds like a waste of time."
"Ain't no waste of time in getting to meet people and make friends!" Corny said.
"Maybe...but right now? We're in a direct competition," Ander explained. "I need the money, I know that you do too. Why risk losing focus on that?"
"I ain't losin' focus, I still want that prize more than anythin'!" Corny replied. "But ain't no guarantee I'm gonna get it, so I see no reason why I should pin my entire plan on that. I'm here now, and this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, I wanna make the most of it, and make some positive memories."
"Hm," Ander replied without much conviction.
"Come on, you'll see!" Corny said as he gestured for Ander to follow him.
The two left behind the villa and made their way to the beach. Fabio and Kirby were mindlessly rolling a coconut back and forth between each other.
"Howdy-ho, folks!" Corny greeted with an eager wave.
"Do my eyes deceive me, or has the ocean cast forth some company for us?" Kirby remarked.
"Careful now, they could be trying to sabotage us," Fabio warned ominously.
"How's it going, buckaroos!?" Corny asked.
"It is going gentle, like a single breeze that touches upon the sail," Kirby replied.
"So uh...what brings you guys down to our neck of the woods?" Fabio asked.
"We are simply looking to spark new friendships," Ander responded. "Nothing more."
"Yep yep!" Corny said. "Ain't nothin' much else to do 'fore the challenge anyways, right?"
Corny eyed the coconut that now rested between the two boys.
"I suppose that's true," Fabio said.
"Why not tell us a bit 'bout yourselves?" Corny asked. "What inspired ya to come on out here?"
"My life follows the song of the sea," Kirby said. "Wherever the currents may lead me...so shall I go?"
"My answer is a lot less poetic," Fabio added. "I just want the money! I have big plans for that million bucks, big BIG plans! I was meant to live large, it's just in my soul. When I'm rich I can finally lord it up over the rest of the world."
Ander twitched somewhat in frustration.
"You know," he said, "a lot of us need the money...for far more than just fulfilling some need for superiority. My family has had days where we couldn't even afford food in the house. Winning this could change their lives. And Corny…"
Ander gestured to his friend who just gave an awkward sort of laugh.
"Well uh...yeah it would certainly make life easier on me," Corny admitted. "Maybe finally get a permanent roof over my head."
"Oh I see what's going on here," Fabio accused. "You're trying to get up in my face and make me feel guilty for daring to want to win. What you thought you'd tell me your sob stories and I'd just up and quit out of the goodness of my heart?'
"No, no, that's not it at all!" Corny exclaimed.
"I have just as much of a right to be here as you two," Fabio insisted. "So get on out of here! Go on, move along!"
"Gladly," Ander replied.
"Can you believe the nerve of those guys!?" Fabio fumed to Kirby.
Confessional:
Ander-Corny and I clearly have two very different approaches, despite that we both have a very pressing need to win this money. For me, I see nothing will stop me from bringing this money home to my family. Others may think they deserve it, but I truly need this and I cannot let myself be blinded. Corny though, he seems like he could care less.
Corny-Well yeah, obviously I would love to grab that prize and finally get to take a break from worryin' bout where my next meal will come from, but I ain't expectin' people to just drop out for me. Fabio's got it all wrong. Ain't nothin' promised in this world, I may not have a lot, but even if i don't win this, I'll still get by. I always do!
(Hilltop Heroes)
Omber entered the main square of the resort and eventually spotted Lex sitting alone at a single table.
"Aha," Omber said as he slid into the chair next to them. "There you are."
"Oh good morning, Omber," Lex greeted. "Sorry for taking off so early. Natalia tends to get up before dawn, and I hate the thought of leaving her alone."
"You're spending a lot of time with Natalia lately," Omber noted. "Where is she now?"
Lex just shrugged.
"She had enough people time, I guess," Lex explained. "Decided to head off on her own."
"I get the feeling that may be her preferred status," Omber remarked. "It's nice that you want to be there for her, but don't feel like you have to do the impossible. Some people are just going to push others away no matter what you give them."
"True," Lex replied looking down at their hands, "but it doesn't hurt to try. A lot of the time those same people just think that they're protecting themselves from getting hurt. If everyone leaves them alone, well, they'll never be proven wrong and never get the chance to change."
"You're a pure-hearted one, you know that?" Omber remarked with a smile.
"I'm not so sure…" Lex said modestly. "All I can really do is make an effort to be there, but I'm not going to pretend like I have a clue on what Natalia is going through or what she needs to hear."
"And that's okay," Omber assured. "Look, I've seen how Natalia acts, she can be pretty acerbic. I just don't want you to feel like you need to sit there and let her rain all over you."
"I know, I know," Lex nodded. "I'm trying my best."
"And hey, I've got your back here, you know that right?" Omber reminded. "Whatever happens, I have faith in you, so you can always turn to me if you're feeling overwhelmed."
"I appreciate it," Lex said with a smile. "At least I can always count on you to be straightforward."
Confessional:
Lex-I won't lie, it's definitely exhausting sometimes talking with Natalia. She definitely does not open up easily, and there are moments where it feels like we'd both just be better off not bothering, but I don't know if that's the right call. Still, it's nice to have Omber. He's always been supportive , so I'm glad to know I won't be taking all of this on by myself.
Omber-Natalia is already doing such a perfect job of wearing Lex down. It won't be much longer. Sooner or later, Lex will think its their own idea to just cut Natalia loose for the good of the team. They're too much of a team player not to (chuckles).
(Later)
The cast was shocked that Chris did not summon them for a challenge for most of the day. The sun was setting by now and still no call to arms.
"What gives!?" Josiah demanded. "My mojo needs to flow! I need to be used like a weapon, otherwise all my energy will be pent up, and then who knows what will happen!?"
"Oooh, now you've got me curious," Misty squealed.
Fireworks suddenly lit up the sky.
"Wowee!" Corny gasped. "Wouldya look at that!?"
"It's definitely a sign," Misty said. "Our next challenge awaits. Finally."
The three teams arrived outside of a large wooden building on the edge of the small town. It had been dressed up with flags and torches to give a more lively feel, though just ended up creating a jarring sort of clash between the muted structure and its gaudy adornments.
"Greetings, staff!" Chris greeted as he threw the doors open. "I suppose you're wondering what the hold up is."
"Yes that is exactly what I am wondering!" Josiah stated.
"Well our special event is actually going to take place tonight, under the stars," Chris said. "Or you know, the smog, turns out this resort has done irreparable damage to the atmosphere in record time."
"You say that like it's something to be proud of," Lex noted, "I really don't think it is…"
"Whatever whatever," Chris said, "We are throwing a Ball, and you are all cordially invited….to staff the event!"
"Wow, it's a dream come true," Misty remarked sarcastically.
"There are three separate sections where you'll be manning," Chris said. "Your job will be to keep as many guests there as possible. We've lined the grounds with motion detections that will keep track of the traffic. At the end of the day, the two teams to attract and keep the most guests will win immunity. The losers not so lucky and will be voting someone out."
"Alright punks," Chef said as he came up with a sack, "We're gonna randomize where you're working. Reach in and pull out a rock which will have the name of your station."
Misty reached in and daintily pulled out a stone.
"It says...Garden," Misty announced.
"Next!" Chef ordered.
"Gimme something good!" Fabio exclaimed as he reached in next. "We're doing...The Ballroom!"
"And I guess that just leaves us," Omber said as he reached into the sack last. "With….Food Service? Great…"
"Excellent, excellent, get into places!" Chris ordered. "Immunity is on the line, and our guests are expecting an unforgettable night of dancing, drinks, and garden promenades. Don't fail us now!"
Confessional:
Corny-A real honest to god Ball? Well now that's mighty classy! Never thought I'd got to attend one of these. I mean, sure it's as the staff, but that's still farther than I ever thought I'd get. You better believe I'm gonna savor every second of it!
Fabio-We hit the SCORE! The BALLroom, hello!? People don't come to a ball to eat snacks and sit outside, they come for the Ball of it all. Might as well just hand us the immunity.
Lex-Well, serving food and drinks may not be the most glamorous position, but we can make it work. People are bound to get hungry, so how hard can it be?
(Grotto Guardians)
The group of five stepped out to a patio that transitioned to a garden full of designer plants and hedges. A group of people milled about, all dressed formally, but somewhat confused on what they were looking for.
"If only we got to dress up nice too," Misty remarked. "I bet some of these men would look so dashing in a tux."
Misty eyed Corny meaningfully. Corny just blushed slightly.
"Tuxedo's inhabit movement though, and a real man has to be ready for action always!" Josiah exclaimed.
"Perhaps," Ander spoke up, "but for now let's focus on the task at hand. People seem bored, it's only a matter of time before they decide there's nothing to see here and move to the other spots. How do we make this place more exciting?'
"There is nothing more exciting than cheating death by an inch," Yuka declared. "Put their lives in mortal danger. Let them learn what it is to truly live as they fight to survive!"
"That seems a little extreme," Ander remarked.
"There are only extremes in The North!" Yuka barked. "Life or Death! In the heat of the moment you choose one or the other. You don't want to commit to an extreme? Then you commit to death!"
"Okay I'm actually liking the sound of this," Josiah said. "Release some wild animals and then let Josiah swing to the rescue. They won't actually be in any danger with me on the case, but they'll get to tell the story of how a badass Canadian Agent rescued them from a terrifying predator."
"Ooh, I can just picture you wrestling with a lion," Misty gushed. "Let's do it!"
"A lion? Come on, there aren't any lions on the island," Ander remarked.
"Correction, there aren't any lions on the island...that we have seen yet," Josiah said with a wink.
Confessional:
Yuka-It's no wonder that the people here are bored, they're trapped in a cage of safety! You want a true vacation, then face the hardships of The North. But if you won't go to The North, then I'll have to bring The North to you!
Ander-This team (he rubs his forehead) has a lot of...disastrous ideas, and there might not be any stopping them. I am going to have to come up with a way to salvage this for us.
(Seaside Suckers)
Eden, Fabio, and Kirby stepped into the vast hall. Many guests in suits and dresses walked among one another, chatting lightly.
"Hm something about this ball just feels a little…" Fabio remarked.
"Dead?" Eden finished.
"We need to inject some life to this party and fast!" Fabio exclaimed.
"Great idea, but how do you propose to see it through?" Eden asked. "Or are you one of those leaders who prefers to just shout out what needs to happen and then expects the rest of the world to just make it happen?"
"If I had money I could pay someone to make it happen for me!" Fabio boasted.
"Well you don't," Eden reminded.
"One day though...one day…" Fabio murmured.
"Avast!" Kirby exclaimed as he opened a backdoor and revealed a small dimly lit room. "The song of the siren is at our fingertips!"
"What is he saying?" Eden asked.
"I think he wants us to go over there," Fabio deduced.
The two approached the small room and found it set up with a computer and various audio equipment.
"Oh sweet!" Fabio exclaimed. "We've got access to all sorts of music here. It's time to turn up the party!"
"What exactly did you have in mind?" Eden asked. "This is the one tool we have right now to keep people in this room, so we can't blow it."
"Right now we need to get these people dancing," Fabio said. "Today's Pop Hits should do the trick."
"Are you serious? You can't be serious? You're serious, aren't you?" Eden groaned. "Don't you dare put on any of that mindless slush. If you want to hear industry ordained chords and lyrics recycled 80 times over you can turn on the radio in your car, you can walk through the mall, you can go to any club in any city...you attend a ball on an island resort!"
"You're thinking too hard about this," Fabio insisted.
"WRONG! It is impossible to think too hard! You're just displaying your societal anti-intellectual conditioning meant to keep us from asking questions and consuming capitalist media that numbs our brains!" Eden exclaimed.
"The people here came to dance," Fabio argued. "They don't need a philosophy lesson, they need catchy beats that they can get lost in."
"I refuse to subject these people to…" Eden said as she looked at the screen, "HAYLOR DASH!? I will not be a part of that crime!"
"Well what WOULD you be a part of then?" Fabio asked.
"1,000 hills in the distance," Eden stated, "All lowercase."
"I've never heard of that song," Fabio stated.
"It's a band, you dunce!" Eden snapped. "One of the only real ones left! I am proud to be one of their 15 followers on Spotify. Trust me these people will be blessed to be introduced to their genius."
"I am not putting on some indie band that no one's ever heard of," Fabio scoffed.
"My team!" Kirby suddenly exclaimed, "I think I have a solution where we can combine what both of you hope to achieve."
Eden and Fabio turned to Kirby, waiting for him to proceed.
"Sea shanties," Kirby finished.
"Absolutely not!" Fabio denied.
"No way!" Eden exclaimed.
"Mmm...your mistake," Kirby conceded with a nod.
"Fine, you know what, you want to go the most basic route possible, go ahead," Eden scoffed. "I am sorry for trying to help those who refuse to get out of their feeble little cubicle. I tried to be a team player, but this TEAM clearly doesn't want anything from me but to shut up and know my place, so I am removing myself from the scene. I cannot in good conscience go along with this narrow failure waiting to happen!"
Confessional:
Eden-I tried, I really did, but I can't...I can't do this! I am not strong enough! I have so much to say, but it all feels so futile when your words hit a brick wall and shatter like glass, swept away, ignored. How can I fight for my team when they won't let me?
Kirby-Our team is rocking back and forth, like a ship that is caught in a storm, no way to know which direction it will end up when it finally clears. Mmm. It is not a pleasant feeling, but the smart sailor knows that he cannot fight the storm, only ride it out and hope to survive.
(Hilltop Heroes)
"Alright folks, let's boogie!" Nora exclaimed.
"I do not 'boogie,'" Natalia stated coldly.
"Okay, well do you think you could skulk with a little more pep in your step at least?" Nora suggested.
Natalia gave a dismissive sneer.
"That's the spirit!" Nora exclaimed. "We need to get people's orders, we need to prepare the food, we need to serve up drinks, keep it moving in one groovalicious rhythm. Can you do that!?"
"Um...yeah I guess I'll try," Lex remarked.
"We'll do what we can," Omber said with a shrug,
"Whatever," Natalia simmered.
"I am going to need about 150% more energy from you bumperbunnies. Service with a smile, kids!" Nora urged."Let's get a move on! I'll get folks in the door, the rest of you keep the good stuff coming!"
Nora glided into the crowd of people.
"Good evening, ladies and gents, can I start by recommending the Cranberry and Chicken Salad?" Nora proposed. "It is positively to DIE for!"
Nora ushered folks towards the counter where the other three were working rapidly to familiarize themselves with what they were working with.
"One bite of the Charred Sole and you will wonder how you ever did without it!" Nora continued to encourage. "Or if that's not to your fancy, at least stay for a bowl of our Leek and Potato stew."
"Um, Omber...do we have any of the things she's offering people?" Lex asked.
"We may need to get a little...creative," Omber suggested.
"Life is full of disappointments, our customers can learn that not everything promised is given," Natalia stated.
"True but I don't think that mindset is going to earn us many points in this challenge," Omber pointed out.
As the crowds started to fill into the restaurant area, Ander also slipped in among the bodies. The boy stealthily moved towards the back and past the counter. He found a large refrigerator connected to the wall with an industrial sized wire.
"Time to show the meaning of the word sabotage," Ander declared as he tugged on the wire.
He took a few strong pulls, but he was eventually able to power down the large fridge.
"Done and done," Ander remarked proudly.
He then felt a chill run down his spine as his hair stood on end.
"You should not have done that," Natalia said icily from behind him.
"All is fair in love and war," Ander simply stated.
"All is?" Natalia echoed with a devilishly cold tone as she stroked her finger along the handle of a large knife.
"Look it's no hard feelings, but I need to make sure my team stays safe," Ander said. "And I'm not going to let you stop me."
Ander suddenly grabbed the handles on a trolley of dishes and tossed it at Natalia. The girl was bowled over as it collided with her, several dishes fell to the ground and shattered.
"What was that?" Lex gasped from up front.
"Probably just Natalia working out her violent feelings," Omber remarked. "We don't have time to worry about her, we're fifteen orders behind and counting."
"You really made this harder than it needed to be," Ander said as he dragged Natalia by the back of her shirt. "But I don't do half measures. I just need you out of the way long enough for your team to fail."
Ander brought Natalia to a small stairwell that led to an underground storage room. He tried to shove her inside, but Natalia dug her nails into his shoulders in retaliation.
"Gah!" he grunted as he struggled with the girl.
The two ended up tumbling down the stairs together and the door shut behind them. Unfortunately, there was only a handle on the outside.
Confessional:
Ander-I do not love to resort to foul play and violence, but as much as distaste as it leaves me with, I cannot deny that it's the tactic I am most familiar with. I cannot come up with a way to save my own team's chances, but I am try to sink another team beneath us.
Omber-Well I have to say, if the goal was to simulate actual food service work, then this challenge ticked all the boxes. The disproportionate ratio of workers to work, the advertisements that severely oversell the products, the one employee who's not entirely there in the head and just ends up disappearing during the rush. Yep, we've got it all here.
(Grotto Guardians)
Yuka and Josiah had departed in search of some ferocious animal they could unleash upon their guests, leaving Corny and Misty to keep people from leaving the garden.
"What are we supposed to do?" Misty sighed as groups were rapidly departing.
"I think we just gotta put the ol' charm on here," Corny remarked. "We may not have anything flashy 'n fancy to offer, but sometimes just bringing some good old fashioned friendliness can give people a good time."
"Ooh, I'd love to see your charm at work," Misty cooed.
"Great!" Corny exclaimed. "You start on that end, I'll cover the other side."
"Oh, don't you want to stick-" Misty tried to say but Corny had already moved on to start conversations with nearby guests. "-together."
"How ya doin' folks!?" Corny greeted a couple. "Might I say you look lovely tonight. Now don't go anywhere, the moon should be comin' into view soon and lemme tell ya, it's a real beaut from here."
Corny hopped over to a younger couple.
"Enjoyin' the night, friends?" Corny asked.
"No," scoffed the girl. "This was a complete waste of time."
"Chanel, please," the boy said.
"This was your idea!" Chanel said angrily at her boyfriend. "It'll be like we're royalty right? That's what you said, Greg! But I feel like I'm stuck at my dad's barbecue, and at least that had decent food!"
The girl stormed back towards the entrance. Greg made to follow her but Corny stepped in his way.
"Uh hold up, mate," Corny said. "Look I know it ain't my place, but if I can suggest just around the corner you will find the nicest patch of roses you'd ever expect. Perfect for a picnic, real quiet, real romantic, can't fail!"
"A picnic?" Greg echoed.
"Righteo," Corny exclaimed. "And you just happen to be in luck, because…"
Corny revealed that he had an entire bag of bagels, glazed fruits, and bottled drinks.
"All you can eat breakfast buffet," Corny explained. "Hey some habits die hard, you never know when your next meal might come from. But Greg, I want you to take this, and I want you to give Chanel the night she deserves!"
As Corny sent Greg on his way he heard a sweet giggle. He twirled around to see a girl about his age eying him. She had curly brown hair done up with a bow. She wore a simple pink dress with white fringe. Corny returned her smile.
"That was real sweet of you," the girl remarked.
"Ain't nothin' to it," Corny replied modestly. "Just tryin' to offer a hand where I can!"
"Well a lot of guys could probably use your advice, since most of'em are mighty clueless on how to treat a lady proper," the girl praised. "Your lady must be lucky to have you."
"Ain't no such lady in my life yet," Corny admitted.
"Really now? I find that hard to believe," the girl said. "My name is Cindy-Lee-Bethalie, by the way."
"That...is SUCH a good name!" Corny exclaimed. "Oh uh...Cornelius, at your service, but please, call me Corny!"
"It's a joy to meet you, Corny," Cindy-Lee-Bethalie giggled.
From across the yard, Misty noticed the conversation and the dumbstruck smile on Corny's face. Misty narrowed her eyes in frustration.
"What is going on over there?" she remarked.
"Excuse me, Miss," a bald man tried to ask Misty, "where are the-"
"Yeah yeah yeah, out of my way," Misty dismissed as she kept on her beeline towards Corny and his new friend.
Before Misty could reach them though, an incredibly battered Josiah emerged from the hedge.
"Okay folks...no need to fear…" Josiah slurred.
"You are pathetic!" Yuka snapped at him.
"What happened!?" Corny gasped.
"So it turns out...subduing and corralling a cougar...is not quite as simple of a task as it sounds," Josiah remarked.
"That...doesn't sound simple at all," Corny said.
"It is if you know what you're doing," Yuka sneered. "Which this buffoon-" Yuka gave Josiah a smack on the back of his head, "did not! You should have left it to be, but instead you cost us our chance!"
"Okay, okay, well maybe we don't need to endanger our guests to win this challenge," Corny suggested.
"I'm not taking that risk," Yuka retorted. "If we cannot bring a wild beast then we shall just unleash nature's truest force. Tamed it serves us, with its power we thrive, but untamed it destroys all consuming predator, prey, and man all alike…"
"Okay…?" Misty said in confusion.
"I'm talking about...FIRE!" Yuka said before grabbing a torch and bringing it to a hedge.
The leaves lit up instantly and soon the garden was filled with panic and screams as wild flames spread at rapid speed.
'Wonderful," Misty sighed.
Confessional:
Misty-I did NOT like the way Corny was looking at that harlot. He was practically...flustered! He never gets flustered when I talk to him! What gives!? I do not like it!
Josiah-Okay, fire I can work with this too. I've been on many rescue missions where buildings were burning down. I'm just going to...take a minute till everything stops spinning. That cougar got a few good hits in…
(Hilltop Heroes)
Ander tried to push open the door a few times but found that it refused to budge. He sighed and returned down the steps. Natalia had simply taken to sitting crosslegged on the concrete floor.
"It would seem as though we're stuck together," Ander said awkwardly.
"We've always been stuck together," Natalia stated. "In the same world, in this same system, in this same game, now in this same cellar. Life is just a series of prisons, each smaller than the last. We tell ourselves we're breaking free when in reality we're just closing the walls around us tighter until it becomes impossible to breathe."
"Ah," Ander said with a nod. "Well, do you want to work together to try to get out?"
"I do not," Natalia answered. "Perhaps this is what we deserve."
"I see," Ander replied. "Sorry about...getting us stuck in here."
"I'm sure you have a million and one reasons as to why it was necessary for you," Natalia stated. "People think I'm crazy when I speak of the voices, and yet we're all guided by voices of our own. Little stories that we fabricate in order to justify actions we know will hurt someone else. We are all the same."
"Fair enough," Ander said.
Up top, Lex, Nora, and Omber were starting to get overwhelmed.
"We're running out of...well pretty much everything!" Lex said trying to keep the panic in their voice under control.
"Check the back," Omber said, "I think I saw a fridge."
"Hey uh, diva ducks, I think somethin' real funky is goin' on outside," Nora said as she pointed out the window where many guests were fleeing a roaring fire.
"Not our jurisdiction," Omber said with a shrug.
"How much longer is it going to take for my Peanutbutter Gyro!" demanded someone from the crowd.
"Please be patient, your food is coming," Omber tried to assure.
"Um team...we may have a problem," Lex called.
"Just...one minute, don't go anywhere," Omber said to the large crowd.
"Might be a little late for that," Nora sighed as people were already getting restless and leaving,
Omber and Nora met with Lex in the back.
"The fridge...it wasn't plugged in," Lex said. "Almost everything is spoiled."
"Surely some of it is still good," Omber suggested.
"Maybe, but not nearly enough," Lex sighed. "We can't possibly make all the orders we have lined up."
"Ooh, folks ain't gonna be happy to hear that!" Nora remarked. "What are we gonna do!"
"I...I have an idea," Lex stammered. "I can fix this, I promise, guys! Just...just try to keep the guests from leaving."
"You sure?" Omber asked.
"I got this," Lex promised.
Confessional:
Lex-I so don't have this! I don't have an idea! Why did I say that!? (they start to sob) I don't know, I don't know. My team was counting on me and I just felt like I had to step up, but...I don't have a clue how I can salvage this and now they'll hate me even more for acting like I could save the day. Why am I so stupid!?
Nora-Sugarboos, I do not want to know why it's flamin' up like the gates to Arizona outside but at least I can take some small comfort in knowin' we ain't the only hot mess out here.
(Seaside Suckers)
"Excuse me?" a woman asked Eden who was just leaning against the wall. "Is this the way to the ballroom?"
"Maybe," Eden said with a shrug, "It could be anything, who really knows in this world? Why don't we all just stop trying to think and accept indoctrination like the mass media wants!?"
The woman seemed confused and just moved along. Eden gave a disapproving shake of her head. She then noticed Lex slipping out of the restaurant area. They appeared to be seconds away from a panic attack as they breathed heavily and began to curl up into the corner.
"Hey, hey, you!" Eden exclaimed as she moved towards Lex. "Yeah you, my new ally as of this morning."
"O-oh...hi Eden," Lex remarked, pulling themselves back up. "Why uh...why aren't you with your team?"
"Short answer? Because they suck," Eden answered. "Same for you?"
"No, I'm the one who sucks," Lex sighed. "Almost all our food is ruined and we've still got so many orders. I promised I would fix this, but...but I don't know how!"
"Typical," Eden scoffed. "We live in a nation that worships the hero, we forget the brutal reminder that 99% of the population is NOT the hero, they're the ones in need! You don't need to save the day all on your own! That is propaganda meant to keep us from asking for help! Well I say it's time to cast aside those notions!"
"Oh...so...will you help me?" Lex asked.
"I'm glad you asked, I would LOVE to help you!" Eden said. "Better than helping my own team that's for sure, but maybe we can collaborate here. The key to success is not by staying within the divisions we were given but by blending those lines...and making someone ELSE lose! Now what have you got so far? There are no bad ideas, you have my full support."
"I don't know," Lex sighed. "I was thinking even though some of this stuff won't work for meals, it could still maybe be decorative. But that won't help us."
"Or will it?" Eden mused. "I can work with that, but we're going to need some help."
The two pushed their way through the crowd and back to the kitchen.
"Alright folks, we're rebranding," Eden announced. "Lex, you said you can make something cute and artsy out of this stuff?"
"Yeah maybe," Lex said, "if-"
"Okay perfect, we are going scavenger hunt!" Eden said. "A hunt for a series of bizarre trinkets made out of dried berries and hardened vegetables. Give the people something to work for! Make them have to use their heads. Make it sound important, their primitive gatherer instincts will do the rest!"
"Um...why exactly are you trying to help us?" Omber asked.
"I'm not taking questions presently, there's no time for that we need to get to work," Eden declared.
"I'm all for a zany solution to a serious problem," Nora said, "but these people want food not a silly game."
"THESE PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT!" Eden shouted while slamming both of her palms on the metal table. "Why do you think they're on vacation!? They're unhappy at home and they think that if they go somewhere faraway maybe the key to forgetting their problems will come to them. They're not here to eat food that they can do at home, they are here to discover something they don't even know that they need. If we tell them that this hokie necklace made of painted cheese is what they crave then they will goddamn crave it!"
Everyone just stood uneasily.
"What are you waiting for? MOVE PEOPLE!" Eden ordered, slamming a pair of pans together. "GO GO GO!"
Confessional:
Eden-Why am I helping the rival team, you ask from your livingroom couch, unable to possibly grasp the intricacies of the situation at hand because you're not THERE? Well my team may be hopeless, but that doesn't mean my alliance has to fail.
Lex-Well...this could maybe work? Heh...that's a slim maybe, but right now it's better than nothing.
(Grotto Guardians)
Guests ran in panic as fire spread throughout the garden. Misty and Corny were trying to usher people to safety, though it was hard to find safety as the fire was all around them now.
"You won't get anywhere by running away!" Yuka barked at various guests. "Fire must be tamed, it cannot be escaped. Do as your ancestors did! Control the fire! Conquer the flame!"
She only received more screaming.
"Not to fear, help is here!" Josiah exclaimed as he charged forward with a fire extinguisher.
As he tried to unleash its contents though, only a sat little wheeze emerged from the nozzle.
"What the...CHRIS!?" Josiah gasped.
"Okay folks, try to keep calm," Corny urged in vain.
"I'm going to die!" cried someone running in circles.
"No one is going to die, so long as we don't panic," Corny continued.
"So Corny, who was that you were talking to?" Misty accused.
"Wha?" Corny asked.
"That girl, I saw you talking to her, laughing and smiling," Misty said. "What gives?"
"I uh...I dunno," Corny said as he pulled Misty out of the way of a falling flaming branch. "I don't think we need to be focusin' on that right now."
"I just think it's funny is all," Misty continued while Corny tried to coax a few scared children to safety. "You were clearly spending more time with her than anyone else. What was so special about her?"
"That ain't important right now," Corny insisted.
"It's important to me!" Misty demanded.
"Josiah to the rescue!" Josiah exclaimed once more, this time returning with a garden hose.
He began spraying at the fire, but the dismal trickle of water was hardly having an impact on the flames.
"Goddammit!" he groaned.
"Don't you all feel alive!?" Yuka exclaimed. "The garden is lost but you may still salvage your lives if you have the will to survive!"
Corny was eventually able to get people towards a slope that led to a small inlet. Many guests were not thrilled to be sent right into the mud, but it proved to be the most efficient way to keep them safe from the fire, so Corny wasted no time tossing bodies into the water.
"I think it's safe to say people ain't gonna be happy 'bout this," Corny sighed.
Confessional:
Misty-Almost all men act the same, I've found. They can hide it, spin it how they want, but a pretty girl is enough to turn their minds to goop. Am I very pretty. So what gives!? I thought Corny was just the shy, gentlemanly type, but here he is getting all doe-eyed for some plain jane nobody when I'm right here!? I demand answers!
Josiah-Chris when this is over I am going to sic you for SO many fire code violations, you better lawyer up, buddy!
(Hilltop Heroes)
The new approach seemed to be working. Lex made trinkets in the back, she'd hand them to Eden who would direct Omber where to place them. Customers scoured the restaurant, looking under tables, behind chairs, and inside potted plants.
"Aha, I finally found the eggshell mosaic!" exclaimed a teenage girl.
"Hey! You only found it because I solved the clue for you!" pouted her friend ."Give it here!"
"You already got the bean figurine, let me have this out!" retorted the first girl.
Customers came up to the counter where Nora greeted them with a smile.
"I'll have…" started a man.
"I'll tell ya what you'll have," Nora interjected. "You're gonna have the chance to find one of these rare collectibles...if you can crack the riddles that is!"
"Ooh, I like riddles," the man said.
"I'll give you a hint," Nora whispered. "Check the napkins first."
"Well, I'll admit," Omber remarked as he watched the crowds scurry through the restaurant, "I didn't think this would work, but people are really into it."
A man ripped off some of the floorboards with his bare hands.
"Maybe a little too into it," Omber cringed.
"Aha!" the man in the floor exclaimed. "I've found the clue for the ultimate prize."
"Read it, Daddy, read it!" shrieked a small child. "HURRY!"
"It says 'To find the treasure's heart of hearts, simply look where the music starts?'" the man said.
"What does it mean, Daddy!? WHAT DOES IT MEAN!?" demanded the child, tears welling in their eyes.
"Well I uh.,..I don't know, son," the father admitted.
"You're the worst Daddy ever!" screamed the son, tears streaming out of their eyes now.
"Oh my god, wait a minute!" exclaimed a teenage girl. "Sir, did you just say where the music starts?"
"Uh...yes, that's what it says," remarked the man.
"Oh my god!" the girl exclaimed. "Kelsey, didn't you say they were playing Haylor Dash somewhere?"
"Oh my god!" exclaimed the girl's friend. "Rachel, I totally did say that!"
"Oh my god!" gasped Kelsey. "You need to tell me where that was right now!"
"Oh my god that's like so much pressure!" Rachel replied. "I think uh...I think it was over in the big room over there where people are dancing."
"The ultimate treasure is in the ballroom, Daddy!" the small child announced. "You need to get there right now. RIGHT NOW!"
"Like Rachel, oh my god, that child is going to get to the ultimate treasure first!" Kelsey gasped.
"Oh my god, we had better beat him to it!" Rachel said.
Soon the masses were all racing to get to the ballroom.
"Hey, wait a minute…" Omber said as the restaurant rapidly depleted its occupants.
Once the crowds had filled up into the ballroom, Eden slammed the doors shut behind them and lodged a bench against them so they could not be opened from the inside.
"Ahahahaha!" she cackled maniacally. "I win! I WIN!"
From inside the hall, Fabio and Kirby were pleased to see the room fill up.
"Aha, I knew that people wouldn't be able to resist pop music!" Fabio exclaimed. "And you doubted me!"
"I did doubt you, but I see now that I was wrong," Kirby said.
"It took about 55 songs before people really showed up," Fabio admitted, "but we got there eventually and that's all that counts. Now let's keep this party going!"
Confessional:
Lex-Okay so I guess Eden's motivations weren't totally altruistic, but I can't be mad. She still helped save us from a disaster.
Fabio-Not going to lie, i was getting a little hopeless for a second there, but then just in the nick of time the spirit of the dance took over the room. Well, a lot of them weren't really dancing, they were just pushing people aside and knocking things over...and that's how you know it was a real rager!
(Later)
The three teams reunited outside the manor. The Grotto Guardians were all covered in soot and looked rather disheveled.
"Hold up, we're missing two," Chris noted. "Anyone seen Ander and Natalia?"
"Oh no...Natalia killed Ander and went on the run!" Josiah gasped. "How dare she…"
"I don't think that's too likely," Chris remarked, but he gave a concerned look to Chef who responded with the half and half gesture. "Let's just hope they turn up sometime soon, we've got results to do!"
"And next time try not to nearly burn down the place!" Chef threatened.
"Oh come on, Chef, a fire here and there is good for ratings," Chris said. "Now then, safe tonight in first place...with a clear lead...The Hilltop Heroes in the Restaurant!"
The team jumped up and down with joy,
"And in second place," Chris continued, "trailing for a bit but managing to finish strong where it counted...The Seaside Suckers!"
"You are welcome," Eden said to your team.
"You are not taking credit for the appeal of pop music," Fabio scoffed.
"Um I saved your sorry asses with my quick thinking," Eden retorted,
"Whatever you say," Fabio said skeptically.
"Which means, no big surprise, Grotto Guardians you guys failed hard this round," Chris said. "You will be voting someone out. And Chef, go find our missing contestants. Start with all the usual spaces to hide a body."
Confessional:
Corny-Well drat, we had a pretty good run being the last team to take a hit but I guess all good things come to an end.
Misty-It's time to make a few boys sweat. Turning up the heat is all part of the fun.
"Oh Josiah, you were so manly and brave during that challenge," Misty praised the teenage former agent.
"Heh, I really sorta was, wasn't I?" Josiah chuckled.
"But I just can't stop thinking about Corny," Misty added.
"Ugh, him again!?" Josiah seethed. "I swear that little shrimp isn't worth a single thought wasted on him."
"It's just he was flirting with this girl during the challenge and all I can think of is...am I not good enough?" Misty said with a fake quiver in her voice.
"Misty, listen here. You are beautiful, you are gracious, you are serene," Josiah listed. "If anything, you are TOO good for Corny...and it's time someone taught him some manners."
"Oh my," Misty swooned.
Josiah rolled up his sleeves and marched towards Corny. The boy saw him coming and gave him a smile. Josiah replied with a sneer.
"You've got some nerve, bud!" Josiah said as he poked Corny in the chest firmly.
"What the?" Corny gasped. "What did I do!?"
"Some of us are off risking our lives for this challenge, but you're too busy trying to get an island honey to bed with you?" Josiah accused. "You're pathetic!"
"Josiah, where is this comin' from, bud!?" Corny asked.
"It's coming from me to you!" Josiah said. "It's time someone showed you what's what! You are weak and when this team sees that, you're out of here!"
"Josiah, what-" Corny kept trying to say.
'Fight me!" Josiah said as he lifted his fists. "Come on, show me what you got! I'll kick your ass and prove to everyone once and for all that you're no man, just a lost little kid who needs to be sent home."
"I ain't gonna fight you, Josiah!" Corny protested. "This is-"
Josiah delivered a punch to Corny's ribs.
"Oof!" Corny gasped as he was knocked back. "What was that!?"
"I said fight me!" Josiah continued to challenge.
"Mister, you have really just gone and crossed a line," Corny said. "I ain't gonna fight you, I ain't stoopin' to that level. . But you can bet I'll make sure you ain't gettin' close to that prize money!"
"Ha, your threats mean nothing to me!" Josiah boasted.
"Maybe they should!" Corny retorted.
Confessional:
Misty-Do I get a little bit of sinful pleasure from watching Corny come under attack? Maybe, maybe (she smiles devilishly) You know, if Corny just gave in and let himself give into me, we could all work this out so nicely, but….hm, he decided to do this the hard way so he'll get no favors from me.
Josiah-I am sick of this nice guys finish first nonsense. The saying is nice guys finish last, do you hear me, LAST! All day Misty has been about Corny Corny Corny even though he's useless! So it's up to me to prove once and for all that Corny is a wimp who is no good for anyone here.
Corny-i ain't got no clue what just happened. Outta nowhere, Josiah just goes absolutely ballistic on me. Hey, I can handle a little horseplay, but this is just uncalled for. I wasn't certain what I would be doing tonight, but now I've got a pretty clear target in mind.
"Ander!" Corny exclaimed as he charged right for Ander, walking down the steps. "We gotta talk, like right now!"
"I just got out of being locked in a basement for hours with a girl who has a scary amount of issues," Ander stated. "But I'm fine thanks for asking."
"Wait huh...ya know what, pin that, we'll come back to it, but right now I gotta tell ya bout this vote!" Corny exclaimed. "Josiah, I dunno what happened to him, man, but he went off the deep end. Tryin' to start a fight with me for no reason. Socked me right in the ribs."
"He did?" Ander said. "Why?"
"I got no clue, pal!" Corny said.
"Well well well," Josiah suddenly interjected as he pushed his way between the two. "Didn't even miss a beat, running to get someone else to fight your battles for you, huh? Can you believe this big baby?"
"I'm having a harder time understanding why exactly you punched him," Ander pointed out.
"Come on, we're just roughing around," Josiah dismissed. "I'm just trying to prove a point here. That this little marshmallow can't even take a hit. Of course the way he tells it I'm going to come off as the bad guy."
"No, I'm pretty sure you're still the bad guy in your version," Ander said.
"Okay fine, so I'm 'the bad guy,'" Josiah said with sarcastic emphasis. "Sometimes you have to be a little bad to get things done. But if Cornball here is gonna just cry every time things get tough, what good is he gonna be for our team?"
"Pal, what did I ever do to ya!?" Corny asked.
"Oh nothing, nothing at all...and that's exactly it!" Josiah retorted. "This team deserves men of action! People who will get things done! Not waste time flirting with guests."
"Again with that? I wasn't doin' no flirtin', bucko, I don't know where you got that idea!" Corny protested.
"Can I just bring up that both of you seem to be missing that someone literally set fire to the garden and cost us the challenge?" Ander mentioned. "Is that not at all worth mentioning?"
"You're right! I bet Yuka would love to vote your ass out!" Josiah exclaimed.
"No she's gonna vote YOUR ass out!" Corny countered.
The two took off running in the same direction. Ander just sighed to himself.
Confessional:
Ander-I knew my team was a disaster, but dear god...we really are hopeless.
Josiah-Yuka is someone who values strength and resilience. She will surely see things my way: That Corny is nothing but deadweight here!
Josiah and Corny both made it to Yuka at the same time. The two boys panted out of breath.
"Well?" Yuka demanded.
"Yuka, baby!" Josiah exclaimed.
"Never call me that," Yuka growled menacingly.
"Ahem, right," Josiah whimpered. "Look you and I see things the same way, right? Our team needs to be strong! Alpha! Able to withstand anything that comes our way! All things that are not represented in this lump!"
"Don't listen to him, Yuka!" Corny exclaimed. "This team has got to work together. Josiah is a hot shot who creates more problems than he solves."
"Ha, jokes on you! You can't solve problems if you don't create them first!" Josiah boasted.
Yuka was silent. Absolutely silent and still.
At last she said, "Have I taught you nothing!? In the North it does no good to ask for anything, because it needs to be taken! You want my vote? Earn it!"
With that, Yuka marched away from the two boys. Corny and Josiah glanced at each other uncertainly.
"So...can we fight now?" Josiah asked.
"No!" Corny stated firmly.
Meanwhile, Ander sighed and sat down next to Misty.
"Oh Ander, things are absolutely in a tizzy here!" Misty exclaimed with an airy tone. "These boys, oh they've just gone totally cuckoo!"
"And I suppose you would have nothing to do with that," Ander said dryly.
"Well, I do just tend to have that effect on boys, I can't help it," Misty murmured in a sweet innocent voice. "They took one look at me and just act all macho. It's a bit much, and yet...it is a bit flattering."
"Is it too much to ask that we just vote out Yuka here?" Ander asked. "Is that possible?"
"Hm...be the only woman on a team of men?" Misty mused. "That is tempting...very, very tempting."
Confessional:
Yuka-I want this team to be at its strongest, and I am not going to be swayed by WORDS but actions! If Josiah or Corny want to stay then they need to prove that they can BRING IT! Maybe I should just tie it and let them fight.
Misty-On the one hand, it would be so very sweet to teach Corny a lesson...on the other hand, Yuka is sort of nothing for me and getting her out of the way might leave room for a little more fun.
(Dock of Shame)
The Grotto Guardians stood before Chris on the rickety dock.
"Grotto Guardians, no suspense tonight, you guys were the clear losers," Chris said, "What happened with that challenge?'
"Your guests were weak and afraid to live!" Yuka stated.
"True, but they paid top dollar to not be set ablaze," Chris sighed.
"Chris, no offense, but no one comes to Wawanakwa for safe and sound," Josiah pointed out. "We were just serving the brand."
"He does have a point there, Chris," Chef added.
"Well whatever you tried, it didn't work!" Chris said. "And now you're here."
"I think this was a long time coming, Chris," Ander remarked. "We got lucky the first couple rounds, but this team is far from functional."
"And whose fault is that?" Chris asked.
Corny and Josiah pointed to each other.
"I could name names, but ultimately we are a team and it's a team problem," Ander said. "I think everyone may have played a part in stoking the flames and we just saw the result of that today."
"Oh we'll see the result of it...once the votes are read!" Josiah laughed.
"Indeed you will," Chris said, "Chef, the votes if you please!"
Chef stepped forward,
"First vote," Chef announced, "is for...Corny!"
"Second vote...Josiah!"
"Third vote...Josiah!"
"Fourth vote…
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"Corny!"
"Fifth vote," Chef announced, giving everyone a grim stare, "is for…"
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"Josiah!"
"Whoa...oh, okay, I see how it is," Josiah fumed as he got up. "You guys just voted out your own International Agent though, think about that!? How are you going to win anything now!? I laugh, because you're all going to lose now!"
"Okay, tough guy, let's get out of here," Chris said as he guided Josiah to the boat.
"Grotto Guardians, the fire may be out in the garden...but is it out on your team? Only time will tell!" Chris exclaimed.
"Chris, what did we say about trying to use your own lines? Stick to the script, that's why it's there!" Chef groaned.
Votes:
Josiah-Corny, Cornball, little Corn on the Cob, you're getting kicked out of here. Sorry man, if anyone's going to be picking up ladies, it'll be this guy.
Corny-Josiah, ya know I think you coulda survived this but ya proved to be a downright dirtbag and I ain't got time for that!
Misty-Corny, ooh, Corny, I don't know what your problem is, but if you're not going to be under my spell, then what good even are you?
Ander-(sighs) Looks like this feud needs to end tonight, and Josiah just seems like too much of a firecracker to keep around.
Yuka-Turns out, I don't need to force a tie to prove anything, I already know where my vote is going. Josiah, I saw how up against that Cougar. You are a weak man, parading as a warrior. Get out of my sight!
(Grotto Guardians)
"Aw man!" Corny exclaimed as he hopped down the steps. "Two votes? That was a close one! I think I'm still shakin'!"
"I would not worry too much about it," Ander said to him, the two walking alone as the girls had quickly gone to bed."If anything I think Misty was just a little insecure that you weren't going totally gaga for her."
"What do ya mean?" Corny asked. "I am."
"You are what?" Ander asked.
"I'm crazy bout Misty," Corny said. "She's beautiful, she's confident, she's ferocious...she's a total ten outta ten."
"Huh?" Ander asked. "But...you haven't been fawning over her like Josiah was."
"Well yeah, bud, that ain't the way a gentleman acts," Corny said. "Sure, I can put on the charm, but it ain't really real y'know? That's just playin' 'round. And I don't wanna do that to Misty."
"Hm...well piece of advice," Ander said, "Misty's ego is incredibly fragile. Playing coy isn't going to do you any favors, she thinks you haven't noticed her at all."
"Aw shucks," Corny remarked. "I guess I just wanna get it right, ya know. It's like ya said before, we're all out here competing, and that ain't never changin'. The last thing I want is her thinkin' I'm just tryin' get in her head for the game."
"One more piece of advice," Ander added. "Let it go. You don't want to make things more complicated, and girls like Misty...love to make things complicated."
"Maybe you're right, bud," Corny said, sounding completely hollow, "Maybe you're right."
Confessional:
Ander-Well that's a twist. I guess Josiah isn't the only one who's a sucker for a pretty face.
(Conclusion)
"Three are gone, eleven remain!" Chris said from the Dock of Shame. "Each team has now taken their first hit, who will fall next? More drama to come, you don't want to miss it! And of course, what new job can we get our staffers to do for free? You better bet it will be dangerous and/or extremely taxing on their patience. Tune in next time for...Total...Drama...Resort!"