Disclaimer: I do not own Hero Academia/Boku No Hero Academia, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.
Mineta tries flirting with...
Chapter ten: Haunted Hottie
The audience summoned to Talespinner69's theater room had just finished watching the latest episode in the realm where, once per episode, Mineta tries flirting with a different girl in his year of the hero course. The operative word here being 'try', because not only has Mineta shown to fail every time, but the degree of failing varies every time, with some being moderately alright to some being downright vicious to the short statured, grape headed boy.
"You know," Mineta said, "I'm getting the feeling that things will be going my way in one of these episodes. Mark my words."
"With all due respect, Mineta," Tenya began as he turned to face Mineta, "You succeeding with a girl is less likely to happen than Bakugo being shown being tender with someone."
Gesturing to the big theater screen, Hizashi said, "Well we got only four of Sekijiro's girls left to go through at this point."
Nodding in agreement, Sekijiro remarked as he listed off of his fingers, "We got Yanagi, Tokage, Tsunotori, and Kodai." Lowering his arms, the blood hero added in a resigned tone, "And all of them will be shown being bothered by Mineta."
"It's not a bother, it's a blessing!" Mineta insisted, "I am raw sexiness incarnate! All the ladies want me!"
Scoffing with a hint of mild amusement, Dabi remarked, "Want you dead is more like it." A lot of the female audience members chuckled in amusement to that.
Shrugging in a 'what can you do' kind of fashion, Tale said to Kotaro down where they stood in front of the big theater screen, "What can you do?"
"About your audience's attitude towards one another, not much," Kotaro began, "About the show, however? Plenty since the next episode's ready to play."
"Come on, give us a good one!" Mirko said as she leaned forward on the edge of her seat as the next episode in the show began playing. Ryukyu could only roll her eyes dryly at the excitement of her fellow pro hero to see Mineta suffer, even though a part of the dragoon hero couldn't find it in her to really blame Mirko.
...
(Mineta tries flirting with Reiko Yanagi)
"Eww, so he's going to try flirting with me next?" Reiko in the audience cried out in disgust.
"Oh come on, who can be a better guy for you than me?" Mineta asked rhetorically.
One well enough morning at the class 1-A dorm building, Mineta was walking into the kitchen area, spotting Sero, Kirishima, Kaminari, and surprisingly Bakugo at the island counter, all of them having some manner of breakfast. "Morning boys," Mineta greeted, "How did you all sleep last night?"
"I had a weird dream where I stumbled, badly scraped the palm of my left hand in the fall, and then while my hand was bandaged up Mina insisted on taking care of me," Sero replied.
Shrugging, Bakugo said, "Knowing how much Pinky cares about those she feels are close to her, I could see her doing that for real potentially."
"Aww, you guys are sweet," Mina in the audience gushed.
Chuckling a bit, Sero replied, "Well we can be charmers if we try." Turning to face Bakugo, Sero said, "What say you, Bakugo?"
Shrugging, Bakugo said, "Meh."
Sighing, Mineta said, "Yes, and it's a darn shame things couldn't work between me and Mina."
"No it's not," Bakugo said.
Holding up his right index finger, Mineta said, "In any case, I got a really cute girl in 1-B, Reiko Yanagi, right in my sights now." Turning around, Mineta said as he took off, "Wish me luck, gentlemen!"
"No," Kirishima replied flatly after eating a mouthful of waffles.
In the audience, Mineta said to the Baku-squad, "You know, you all could stand to show me at least a little bit of support. I mean, would doing so really kill you?"
"Wouldn't supporting you mean we in turn have to support the idea of the girls being made to go through uncomfortable situations for no real reason?" Sero asked rhetorically.
"Dating me is not an uncomfortable situation, and it is a real reason!" Mineta insisted.
Looking at Stain, Spinner asked, "What do you think, Stain?"
Holding a hand to his chin, Stain said with a look of consideration on his face, "I should time it for at least a week after he graduates from UA and is officially a pro hero." Mineta was not able to help it but shudder when he heard Stain speak for some reason.
As Mineta was a few meters from the front door, a large wall of ice shot up, surprising Mineta and cutting him off from leaving. The boys having breakfast were also surprised, and looked over, along with Mineta, to see it had been their classmate Todoroki who had cut Mineta off in his intent to go see the ghost girl of 1-B.
"IcyHot, what the hell?" Bakugo said, more surprised and confused than anything that Todoroki was stopping Mineta.
Instead, Todoroki ignored his explosive classmate, focused solely on Mineta. "...Did I hear you correctly when you said you were going to go try flirting with Yanagi in class 1-B?" Todoroki said, the look on his face and tone of his voice making it clear he was demanding answers.
Arching a wry eyebrow, Mineta replied, "Yeah, but why do you care?"
Jerking a thumb at his chest, Todoroki said, "Because I'm planning to ask her out, that's why."
"I have to compete against Todoroki?!" Mineta in the audience exclaimed.
"Todoroki in this realm has feelings for Reiko and will aim to rescue her from being harassed by Mineta?" Mina said in a surprised tone.
"Mineta bit off way more than he could chew now, I'd like to think," Hizashi commented.
"SHOTO!" Endeavor cheered in the audience.
"You're going to try asking Yanagi out?" Mineta asked incredulously. Calming down a bit, the short grape boy remarked, "Well good luck with that, because I don't intend to back down, and when it comes to the ladies there's no one better at picking them up than me."
"Pfft, yeah right," Todoroki scoffed, his tone clearly sarcastic, "You're great at picking up girls." His gaze narrowing a bit, Todoroki went on, "Still, anyone I have to compete with to win over Yanagi's affections is a threat." Conjuring both ice and flames and keeping them up as a form of intimidation, Todoroki said as he looked down at Mineta, "...I'm going to have to challenge you, then. There's no other choice."
"It wouldn't be the first time I have to engage a boy in a series of contests to see who's best for a girl," Mineta replied, his confidence building up.
"Oh no, you misunderstand," Todoroki began explaining, "Our challenge won't be a series of three little contests, it'll be a single, straight up fight, no holds barred." The flames he had out intensified as Todoroki with a hint of knowing in his tone said to Mineta, "I'm not one to brag, but I bet that I can at the very least defeat you in one on one combat."
"Holy shit!" Bakugo in the audience laughed, "IcyHot is skipping straight to kicking Grape Head's ass! That's awesome!"
"No! No it is not awesome!" Mineta exclaimed in extreme worry, "Todoroki is going to destroy me!"
"Uhh, Mineta," Kirishima said, "I think Baku-bro knows that, and it's why he thinks that the fight between you and Todoroki will be awesome."
Turning to look at Reiko, Setsuna said, "Be honest with me. Say Mineta for real tried flirting with you, and Todoroki came in to stop it because he wants to flirt with you himself. What would be your reaction?"
Looking down at her lap, Reiko replied, "...Well to be honest, I'd be surprised if any good boy showed interest in me like that."
Looking up at Todoroki, Mineta said, "Very well. Three-thirty this afternoon behind Gym Gamma. Be there or be square."
Todoroki accepted the challenge, took his ice down, took out his fire, then went his own way, muttering something about needing to get ready to save a princess from a troll. After the son of Endeavor was gone, Mineta turned to look at Bakugo and the guys that he hangs with. The look of freaked-out worry on Mineta's face was obvious.
"...You guys gotta help me train," Mineta said, sounding like he might start crying.
Getting up from his chair at the island counter, Bakugo said, "What I gotta do is go secure a good spot to watch the festivities at when things go down behind Gym Gamma later today." The explosive teen then took off.
"Figures that Bakugo would leave me high and dry," Mineta in the audience commented, sounding like he wasn't surprised in the least by what Bakugo in the realm had done just now.
Shrugging, Tenya said, "Well with all due respect, I think that you winning against Todoroki in the manner presented in this realm is a lost cause, Mineta."
"Endeavor's boy will cream you, you perverted grape," Stain growled.
After Bakugo had left, Mineta turned to look at Sero, Kirishima, and Kaminari. "You guys gotta help me!" Mineta practically exclaimed, "I need to get ready for my fight against Todoroki!"
"You know, I've always wanted to help with something like a training montage in those older boxing movies," Kaminari remarked, "I even have a mix CD of training montage music."
"To the work out room!" Sero declared as he and the others dragged Mineta off with them.
...
Over in the work out room, while Mineta was doing curls with weights, Kaminari said, "Now Mineta, we're going to need to work on you reaction speed and evasion, because Todoroki will be coming at you with both an Ice Age in one hand and a Wildfire in the other."
"They're actually helping Mineta?" Kyoka in the audience said, looking surprised.
"Well they did say they wanted to help with a training montage," Mina pointed out.
Folding his arms over his chest, Dabi said, "I'm pretty sure they're just wasting their time. My little bro easily has this one in the bag."
"I can win this!" Mineta said defiantly, "I know I can!"
"Sliding under attacks, moving around them, and keeping on your feet while maintaining a hard to read line of movement is your best bet to win against Todoroki," Sero went on, "That dude will go full force, so trying to confront him up front will only lead to a bad time."
"Don't be afraid to use your quirk to your advantage," Kaminari said, "It can potentially be the key to the difference between defeat and victory here. Don't be afraid to lob a ball or two at Todoroki's face if you think you got a clear shot, because let's face it that's one of your very few shots at winning."
Mineta turned to look at Kirishima, who was fiddling around on a phone. "What do you have to say about this, Kirishima?"
Looking up from his phone, Kirishima said, "Oh sorry, I was reading a text I got concerning the fight you have with Todoroki later today. Apparently Baku-bro's selling tickets, while Uraraka and Tsuyu are running a betting ring."
Sighing, Mineta said, "Well I bet they'll be surprised when I win."
"Those jerks," Mineta in the audience sighed in a resigned tone.
Shrugging, Mina replied, "Well you can't honestly blame them. I mean, you and Todoroki are set to fight one another. It'll be a show that a good number of people will want to watch."
"D'oh, it's a darn shame we can't bet on the fight in this realm," Toga said in a disappointed tone, "I bet that Dabi's brother would win."
Gesturing to the big theater screen, Dabi replied, "My little bro is going up against a height impaired, lisping pervert who clearly is in way over his head, both metaphorically and literally." Chuckling a bit, Dabi said, "Shoto's got this."
As the boys worked on helping Mineta train, Mina and Kyoka entered the work out room. "Hey Mineta, we heard you're going to fight Todoroki later today behind Gym Gamma," Kyoka said, "Is that true?"
"And why are you boys helping him?" Mina asked as she turned to address Sero, Kaminari, and Kirishima.
"We've always wanted to help with a training montage," Kaminari admitted.
Continuing to do curls, Mineta declared, "I won't give up! I'll beat Todoroki and convince Yanagi that I'm better than him!"
"Oh yeah, Mineta's after Yanagi in class 1-B now, which is why Todoroki is fighting him because he likes Yanagi," Kirishima pointed out.
Chuckling a bit, Kyoka in the audience said, "Yeah, there's no way that Mineta is going to win against Todoroki. Especially since a girl is on the line."
"Mineta will be required to cheat if he wants any chance of winning," Dark Shadow pointed out, "I just can't see him having any shot of winning fairly, to be honest."
Sighing, Tokoyami said, "I'm pretty sure a lot of people will be upset if Mineta in this realm wins against Todoroki by cheating, Dark Shadow." A lot of cries from the audience made it clear that Tokoyami's guess was right on the money.
Folding her arms over her chest, Mina replied, "Well that would explain why Yanagi was seen offering Todoroki that if he wins, she'd let him see her..." Gesturing to her upper chest area, Mina said, "...'assets'."
Mineta dropped the weights he was using, looked right up at Mina. "...No way."
Nodding in confirmation, Mina went on, "Oh yeah. And from the sounds of Yanagi's words, she may even let Todoroki look and touch should he beat you."
"I gotta win this!" Mineta declared loudly, "By any means necessary!"
"Mineta, with all due respect all of this is wasted time," Sero said, "There's no way you can defeat Todoroki. Especially now since he's motivated because the girl he's fighting for will let him have an awesome show should he beat you."
"So...the me in this realm is offering to let Todoroki have fun with my chest," Reiko in the audience said, "...In return for ensuring he defeats Mineta."
Turning to look at Uraraka, Mina said, "I bet you could have gotten Izuku to kick Mineta's ass by offering to let him have a similarly good time with you."
"Mina, no!" Uraraka cried out in embarrassment.
"Uraraka's right, Mina," Izuku said, "She doesn't have to go that far. Just offering me to have a nice cozy relationship like how the two of us were seen having fallen asleep together on the sofa would be sufficient. I would be perfectly happy to have love."
"Aww," Uraraka replied, sounding touched.
Looking like he was thinking, Mineta said as he picked his weights back up to resume curling, "I just need to hit him where I know I can win."
"I don't think you can nail him in the groin with your purple balls hard enough to stun him," Kirishima pointed out dryly.
...
That afternoon, Mineta was at the agreed upon spot, where a number of people had already gathered to watch the Mineta-v-Todoroki fight. Looking over, Mineta saw Uraraka and Tsuyu manage the betting, and was surprised to see Hizashi place a bet with them before he took a spot in the crowd to watch the upcoming fight.
"Hizashi, what the hell?!" Aizawa in the audience exclaimed, "If something like that happened for real, you as a teacher are supposed to stop it!"
"Sorry, Sho," Hizashi said meekly.
Soon enough, Mineta's opponent himself showed up, with Izuku and Tenya following up before breaking off and taking spots to watch the fight. Soon, Mineta was face to face with the son of Endeavor. Cracking his neck, Todoroki said to Mineta, "I'm ready whenever you are, you small trollish turd."
Mineta gulped nervously, and shakily raised his hands up to start using his quirk. However, he stopped short Aizawa called out, "What's going on here?!" Everyone stopped short and turned to see Aizawa and Sekijiro come walking over, both looking disappointed. "Fights like this are against the rules," Aizawa said firmly, "There had better be a good reason!"
Acting quickly, Mineta cried, "Aizawa-sensei! Todoroki was threatening to beat me up because I took the last thing of udon we had, and everyone came out here to watch and cheer him on, and I was super scared I was going to get hurt!"
"That little shit!" Bakugo in the audience exclaimed, "He's playing the wounded gazelle gambit card to try to get out of things!"
A lot of people in the audience began complaining, as well as throw stuff at Mineta. "Ow, ow! Hey stop it!" Mineta complained.
The senseis broke up the fight and took Todoroki away to give him detention, not to mention they chewed Hizashi out upon finding him in the crowd of people gathered to watch the fight. After the senseis were gone, Mineta pumped his fists into the air. "I'm still here, so technically I win the fight!" Mineta declared, "I'm the-"
Mineta was cut off when he was rushed by a hail of telekinetically controlled objects raining down upon him, including a barbell that struck him right in the coin purse very, very hard. Reiko, who had used her quirk to control the hail of objects that rained down upon Mineta, then watched as people angry about their bets being ruined proceeded to stomp on Mineta while he was down.
...
That evening during dinner, Mineta stumbled his way over into the kitchen area, where the boys in Bakugo's friend group were eating dinner. "People are pissed that you cheated your way out of having to fight Todoroki," Sero informed Mineta.
"And given that it was Yanagi who controlled that hail of objects that rained down upon you, I'm certain she would have rejected you anyway," Kaminari added, "Especially since she's got a guy like Todoroki knocking on her door."
"Yeah, yeah I would," Reiko in the audience admitted.
Scoffing, Kyoka said, "Figures that Mineta would sleaze his way out of a fight like that then have the nerve to try to claim that he won. That's another reason why girls wouldn't like him."
Sighing, Mineta said, "I guess either way, I can't beat Todoroki." At that point, something hit Mineta in the back of the head. The guys and Mineta turned to see Uraraka and Tsuyu both standing there, with Samidare who was still at UA under witness protection standing behind his older sister.
"I...lost the chance to rake in a good hunk of yen because of you," Uraraka hissed angrily at the short grape boy while pointing at him.
"You have shown a whole new level of cowardice today kero," Tsuyu said simply.
"*PFFFFFFFFFFFFFLT*" Samidare actually didn't say anything, but he did blow a raspberry at Mineta, showing his thoughts aligned with those of his big sister's and Uraraka's.
"But I still won," Mineta pointed out.
"Heh heh, no you didn't," Uraraka said.
FIN
"Yeah, that's not something that in all honesty I can say is a win," Kirishima said, "It's unmanly is what it was."
Sighing, Tokoyami said, "Well I guess that it proves Dark Shadow right. Mineta was literally incapable of winning without resorting to sabotage."
"At least he got his just desserts when he was attacked," Dark Shadow pointed out.
Turning to look at Kotaro where he and him both stood in front of the big theater screen, Tale said, "Wow, I kind of hope karma catches up to Mineta for the stunt that he pulled to get out of his fight against Todoroki here."
"One can only hope, my good friend," Kotaro replied.
END OF CHAPTER
Author's notes;
Well this has been the chapter where Mineta tries going after Reiko. The part where Mineta was able to weasel his way out of fighting Todoroki will come back to bite him, although I won't say when or how. All I can say is look forward to the next chapter, where Mineta will try to work his 'charms' as he calls them on another 1-B girl.
Who wants to guess who it will be?