Disclaimer: I do not own Hero Academia/Boku No Hero Academia, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.
Mineta tries flirting with...
Chapter twelve: Wild Rodeo
The audience summoned by Talespinner69 had just finished watching episode eleven of the realm where, once per episode, Mineta attempts to flirt with a different girl from his year of the hero course. Thus far, all of his tries have failed; Mineta was getting a bit worried, as by this point he's only got two girl left to try to succeed with. Even so, Mineta isn't losing hope, as he's confident that he'll achieve some measure of success with at least one of the girls that will be seen on the big theater screen.
"I know I can do it," Mineta said confidently, "I know that I can succeed with a girl!"
Bakugo scoffed incredulously. "Grape Head, there's no way you're going to succeed. The girls have made it quite clear that they aren't all that comfortable around you."
Shrugging, Mineta replied, "You're just jealous that I'm easier for girls to approach than you are because unlike you, I'm not a scary, violent, trigger-happy barbarian."
"Well given that Mina, as well as myself to a lesser extent," Kyoka began, "Sees no issue with hanging around Bakugo, I think it's safe to say he's the better alternative when the other option is a creepy, lewd, perverted troll."
"Ha!" Monoma laughed, "Figures that the guys in 1-A are all of low quality if descriptions like that are commonly used for them! You'll never see the boys in 1-B talked about in such a way, I assure you!"
Turning to look at Monoma, Yosetsu said in a dry tone, "Yeah, because we got a hysteric, loud, condescending squirrel." A few of the other class 1-B boys, as well as Hizashi, Mirko, and a few members of the League of Villains, all chuckled a bit at the crack that Yosetsu made.
Turning to Kotaro where the two of them stood on the stage in front of the big theater screen, Tale said, "Do we have the next episode ready?"
"Indeed we do," Kotaro said as he got the next episode ready to play.
"Come on, let me see how I kick Mineta's ass!" Setsuna said as the next episode started up for everyone to watch.
...
(Mineta tries flirting with Pony Tsunotori)
"Ooh, she's a good one!" Mineta in the audience said, "I can't wait to see how I succeed with her!"
"Oh hell no!" Itsuka exclaimed, "Pony is way too precious to let fall into Mineta's clutches! He must fail at any costs!"
Looking up at the big theater screen, Pony said with a hint of worry in her tone, "...I hope that the pervert boy fails."
It was a well enough morning at the class 1-A dorm building where Mineta walked down into the kitchen area, this time seeing Izuku and Tenya having joined Sero and Kaminari for breakfast. "Good morning to you all, gentlemen," Mineta greeted, "And how did all of you sleep last night?"
"I had this dream where Mirio-senpai and I took Eri to an arcade and we worked to earn a lot of tickets to get Eri something that she wanted from the prize area," Izuku said, "She ended up picking a pink rabbit ear hat."
Mineta nodded along before saying, "Well I had a dream where I succeeded in getting a girl to like me." Gesturing to himself, Mineta went on, "And it's inspired me to make said dream come true, hence why I'm continuing with my goals of mingling with the ladies by going after Pony Tsunotori of class 1-B next."
Right away, Izuku had a look of wide-eyed worry on his face. "You're...you're going to try to flirt with Tsunotori, Mineta?" The worry and mild fear in Izuku's tone caught the attention of the boys sitting with him, but Mineta was oblivious to it.
"There's something wrong with me going after the hot, part American girl?" Mineta in the audience said, "And what could have gotten up Izuku's ass to scare him like that when the me here declared the intent to go after Pony?"
"If the me here is that worried," Izuku replied, "Then it cannot be good."
"I'll be coming in with her arms around my shoulders when you boys next see me," Mineta said as he turned and made his way out, "Ta-ta for now!"
After Mineta was gone, Izuku sighed in a troubled tone. "What's up, dude?" Sero asked the clearly worried Izuku.
Gesturing in the direction that Mineta left in, Izuku said, "Well I know that Mineta will most likely break my record for number of trips to see Recovery Girl."
...
In the hallways of the main UA building, Mineta was wandering around, looking for Pony. Soon enough, he found the half-American girl coming out of a classroom, a relatively at ease smile on her face. Spotting his target, Mineta quickly dashed right over. "Hey Pony, you're looking very fine today," Mineta greeted in a flirtatious manner.
"Uhhg, and now the troll is trying to charm the princess," Kyoka in the audience remarked dryly.
"Hey, you never know!" Mineta retorted.
Pony, with a confused look on her face, looked down at Mineta. "...Who are you again?"
Gesturing to himself, Mineta said, "The name's Minoru Mineta, and I-" Mineta stopped short when Pony, a mildly freaked look on her face, took a step back.
"That's the same name as the dirty pervert Itsuka warned me about!" Pony said in a freaked tone, "The same pervert who's been bothering the other girls!"
"Wow, Itsuka for the win here!" Setsuna in the audience said, "Giving us girls advance warning about that perverted little bastard."
Sighing, Mineta said, "Well that's just not fair. She made things tougher for me."
"Who ever said things had to be made fair for you?" Itsuka retorted.
Looking confused, Mineta said, "Hey, I haven't even-"
"EEEEEEEEEEE!" Pony cried out loudly in fright, "The pervert boy is trying to be lewd to me!"
"Hey hold on now," Mineta began, "All I did was give my name to-" Mineta stopped short when he felt someone place their hand on his shoulder from behind him, so Mineta turned to look to see who it was. To Mineta's immediate worry and fear, he was looking up at a very pissed off looking Bakugo. "Bakugo?!" Mineta said, "What are-"
Mineta was cut off when Bakugo picked him up, pinned him to the wall at his (Bakugo's) eye level with his left hand gripping his (Mineta's) blazer jacket, then with his right hand curled imo a fist proceeded to repeatedly punch Mineta, scoring a few punches to the upper body and at least half a dozen to the face, leaving one badly bruised black eye, a broken nose and at least one missing tooth. Bakugo finished by blasting Mineta with an explosion.
"Baku-bro came to the rescue!" Kirishima in the audience cheered, "Saving a girl from being harassed is hella manly!"
Shrugging, Kyoka remarked, "Knowing Bakugo, he was probably just looking for an excuse to beat someone up."
Bakugo allowed Mineta to drop to the tile floor of the hallway, then proceeded to check with Pony while apologizing to her about how Mineta was acting towards her. Interested since he did save her from Mineta, Pony allowed Bakugo to escort her to her next destination. All the while, Mineta coughed on the floor in pain.
...
A short while later, Sero, Kaminari, Izuku, and Tenya all finished breakfast when Mineta came back in, pulling himself along the floor by his forearms as if he were crawling under barbed wire. The four boys saw this and immediately became alarmed. "What in the name of Bahamut happened to you, Mineta?!" Kaminari exclaimed.
"Bakugo happened to me!" Mineta cried in pain, "I tried flirting with Tsunotori, she freaked even though all I did was give her my name, and then Bakugo came in and beat the absolute shit out of me!"
Izuku sighed in a knowing, mildly resigned tone. "Yeah, this is what I was worried about." With all eyes on him, Izuku explained, "Here's the thing, boys. Kacchan actually has a bit of a crush on Tsunotori."
"So it's the class pervert versus the class explosive device," Monoma in the audience said, "Not a very good set of options if you ask me."
Gesturing to the big theater screen, Yosetsu said, "Well at least Bakugo has the decency to be courteous to a girl, whereas Mineta will only be interested in satisfying his lower horn."
Looking up at the big theater screen, Mineta gulped nervously. "...The me here has to deal with Bakugo this time? That's worse than when he had to deal with Todoroki! Bakugo will probably try to kill me!" Bakugo said nothing, as he was busy trying not to laugh.
"Wait a minute, hold on," Tenya said, "You're telling us that Bakugo has romantic interests in Pony from class 1-B?"
Izuku nodded in the affirmative. "That would explain why he was so harsh on Mineta who made Pony freak out. Also Mineta, I'm telling you this only once." The green-haired boy turned to face Mineta, knelt down to be a little bit closer to Mineta's bruised, bleeding, slightly swollen face.
"For your own good, abandon any attempts to try flirting with Tsunotori moving forward," Izuku advised, "Kacchan isn't exactly one to be known to like sharing, and since Tsunotori has made her stance on you clear, Kacchan will see any move you try making on her as a chance for him to score extra points with her by beating you up."
Coughing a bit, Mineta declared, "I shant give up! I'll go see Recovery Girl for a quick restore, then I'll get right back to trying to make Tsunotori my girl!"
"Stain's right," Bakugo in the audience said, "Grape Head here does have a complete and total lack of survival instinct."
Sighing, Mineta remarked, "I hope that at least I'll have some of my blood left when all is said and done."
"Knowing Baku-bro," Kirishima said, "Sources point to most likely not."
Sighing, Izuku said, "Well it's a good thing Snipe-sensei is running that woodshop class. I can ask him to make a casket for you."
"You underestimate my ability to survive, Izuku," Mineta said as he struggled to get himself up off of the floor.
"Well some of the girls in our class have likened you to a cockroach," Tenya remarked, "And they have been known to survive in all manner of environments." Mineta was able to stand up and, after giving Tenya a mildly annoyed look, stumbled off to see Recovery Girl to be healed before he made his next attempt on Pony.
...
After getting back from being treated by Recovery Girl, Mineta was geared up to go make his next attempt to flirt with Pony. However, he stopped short upon realizing something important in this goal; Bakugo was in the way. If Mineta were to succeed in getting Pony as his girl, he would have to do something to effectively deal with his explosive classmate.
"The little shit is gonna try to sabotage me?!" Bakugo in the audience exclaimed indignantly.
Shrugging, Mineta said, "Well with all due respect, how else can most people deal with you unless they're strong enough to take you out directly by force?"
Bakugo looked fit to tear Mineta a new one, but Kirishima stopped him. "Baku-bro, he's not worth it. Don't go to his level."
"To get to Grape Head's level," Bakugo began, "I'd have to go to the Mariana Trench and buy a pair of concrete shoes."
But meeting Bakugo head on would only net Mineta another trip to see Recovery Girl. The short grape boy realized he'd have to hit Bakugo where it'd hurt. As such, Mineta figured he'd try to pull a prank to cause Bakugo untold amounts of embarrassment. Being demoralized ought to do the trick and take Bakugo out, thus cementing a clear path to Pony for Mineta.
Knowing this was a big risk, Mineta snuck into Bakugo's room, figuring he'd be able to find something that, were it to be made public for all of UA to see, Bakugo would never be able to live it down. Hell, it might even make Pony lose what interest she might have in Bakugo, thus making it all the easier for Mineta to swoop on in.
Looking around, Mineta wondered what would work, but before he could really get started, he heard talking outside of Bakugo's dorm room door. Acting quickly, Mineta ran to hide under the bed, hoping like hell he wouldn't be found. He was barely able to still his beating heart, barely able to keep his stomach from turning out of nervousness, when he heard Bakugo enter. To make things worse, he came in with Pony.
"Bakugo brought a girl to his dorm room?" Aizawa in the audience said, "Yeah, that's something that I would have to at least question."
"And it's one of my girls," Sekijiro added, "I'd be raising a brow at the least if I heard one of the boys doing something like that."
Chuckling a bit, Hizashi said, "Wow, you two. The both of you are such dads."
"I've never done this with a boy before, to be honest," Mineta heard Pony say, "Before now I've only done it with the other girls in my class." Mineta's eyes widened out of shock, unable to believe the situation he found himself in.
"Meh, this is the first time I'm ever doing it period," Bakugo admitted, "But hey, if it's with you then I'm game."
Mineta sensed Bakugo and Pony sit down on the bed above him. Mineta's eyes widened as much as they possibly could, believing that he was going to be present at a very critical part in the life of another boy. However, he heard someone place something on the bed, then he heard Pony say, "I hope you don't mind I brought them in a picnic basket. Dig in."
Mineta went from looking shocked to looking confused, especially when he heard Bakugo say while sounding like he was eating something, "Hot damn, these are good!"
"Yeah, these barbecue ribs are made with a sauce that's a secret family recipe," Pony said; looking at what the two teens were doing on Bakugo's bed, they were both sitting up while eating barbecue ribs.
"They're...eating ribs?" Hizashi in the audience said, "For a second there, the dialogue suggested that Bakugo and Tsunotori were-"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence!" Aizawa exclaimed.
Gesturing to the big theater screen, Hizashi said, "Well I'm sorry, Sho! But the thing that the two of them ended up doing is rather underwhelming."
Nodding in agreement, Mineta said, "I wanted more."
More disappointed than relieved, Mineta nonetheless took out his phone and sent a quick text to Kaminari, asking him to distract everyone in their class and in 1-B as well by any means necessary. After sending the text, Mineta waited a few seconds until there was a knock at the door for Bakugo. He got up to answer it, and to Bakugo's interest Kirishima was there.
"What's up, Kirishima?" Bakugo asked.
"Baku-bro, you are not going to believe this!" Kirishima exclaimed, "But Kaminari managed to convince Mina, Izuku, Juzo, Shinso, Todoroki, and Hizashi-sensei to help him reenact the police lineup cold opening from Brooklyn 99!"
...
All of the other 1-A and 1-B students were watching as Kaminari had Mina stand next to him while Izuku, Juzo, Shinso, Todoroki, and Hizashi stood side by side in front of them, holding signs that said 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 respectively. "Backstreet Boys, I'm familiar," Kaminari said to Mina. Turning to look at Izuku, Kaminari said, "Number One, can you please sing the opening to I want it that way?"
"Really?" Izuku said, "Okay. You are...my fire..."
...
"You gotta come check this out!" Kirishima exclaimed, inspiring Bakugo and Pony to leave the dorm room to go follow Kirishima to watch the show. After they were gone, Mineta breathed a sigh of relief since he'd be able to escape unnoticed.
"How did Kaminari convince a teacher of all people ro help him cause a distraction?" Monoma in the audience asked, more confused than anything else.
Shrugging, Hizashi said, "Well in Kaminari's defense, it was me who he snagged."
"Kaminari has shown incredible skills in causing a distraction to save Mineta," Kyoka remarked in a mildly amazed tone.
As he breathed a sigh of relief, Mineta felt his hand land on a pair of underwear under Bakugo's bed. Recognizing what he found as underwear, Mineta at first recoiled, but then he realized that he could embarrass Bakugo by stealing the underwear and using it in the prank that he had in mind. He quickly pocketed the underwear and then made his way out, safely and without being noticed.
...
Later that evening, Mineta found Kaminari, Kirishima, Sero, and Mina sitting at the island counter in the kitchen area of the 1-A dorm building, eating dinner. "...Wait, that's why you needed a distraction?" Kaminari asked.
Nodding in the affirmative, Mineta said, "Yeah, I needed help getting away so I could begin work on a prank to embarrass Bakugo."
"Yeah! By stealing my underwear!" Bakugo in the audience exclaimed angrily.
"And some of the guys may be interested in helping with the prank," Kyoka remarked, "Friends with Bakugo as they may be, they have still shown interest in mischievously screwing with him from time to time."
The Baku-squad looked like they were going to argue, but stopped short as some of them actually nodded in agreement, Sero and Mina most prominently. "...Yeah, probably," Sero said.
"You all wanna raise a pair of Bakugo's underwear as a flag on the flag pole here?" Mineta asked, with some of the guys chuckling in amusement. Mineta then pulled out what he stole from Bakugo's room earlier as he said, "Behold! A pair of Baku-"
"Mineta, you perverted little shit!" Mina screamed angrily, interrupting Mineta in the process, "That's a pair of girl's underwear!"
Looking confused, Mineta looked at the Underwear he stole from Bakugo's room, and saw that it was indeed a pair of girl's underwear. "Oh, so now I get a pair of girl's underwear!" Mineta exclaimed, right around the time Izuku walked in followed by Kinoko and Pony.
"Hey guys," Izuku began, "Komori and Tsunotori from 1-B are here to try to work with-"
"AHHHHH!" Pony screamed as she pointed at Mineta, "The pervert boy has a pair of my underwear!"
Gently resting his face in his right hand palm, Mineta in the audience said, "Oh no..."
Snickering a bit, Hatsume said, "Oh, now this is where the fun begins..."
Right after Pony screamed, Bakugo came running onto the scene. "I heard Pony scream," Bakugo said, "What happened?"
"Pervert boy stole a pair of my underwear!" Pony exclaimed while pointing right at Mineta, which drew Bakugo's attention to him.
"YOU LITTLE FUCKER!" Bakugo yelled angrily as he immediately proceeded to chase Mineta, who dropped the underwear as he ran for dear life.
As everyone watched Bakugo chase Mineta, Pony went to retrieve her underwear that Mineta dropped. With a mildly confused look on her face, Pony said, "Hang on, this is the pair I left in Katsuki's room..."
FIN
"She left a pair of her underwear in Bakugo's room on purpose?" Mina said, sounding mildly surprised.
"Hoo boy, I can't wait until Katsuki gets to that point in his life for real," Mitsuki said, "Where he's got girls leaving their underwear in his room. He'll be a lady killer, mark my words!"
"I just hopes that he knows how to treat a girl right," Inko commented, "And that he'll find the right girl. Then again, I have the same hopes for Izuku. A mom can't help but worry for her baby boy, you know."
Sighing in a defeated tone, Mineta said, "I know Tokage's next, so just play her episode already."
END OF CHAPTER
Author's notes;
I had an extra scene in mind for this chapter, but I decided against adding it in due to length constraints; this chapter is already one of the longest for this story yet. Anyway, Setsuna is the only girl among the first year hero course to not go, so by default she's next. Hope you all will look forward to it.