Disclaimer: I do not own Hero Academia/Boku No Hero Academia, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.
Mineta tries flirting with...
Chapter thirteen: Last Dinosaur
The audience summoned to the theater room by Talespinner69 had just finished watching the latest episode of the realm where, once per episode, Mineta tries flirting with one of the girls in his year of the hero course. Mineta has been shown to fail thus far, and at this point the only girl that Mineta has not been seen trying to flirt with yet is Setsuna Tokage of class 1-B. Mineta is holding out hope that he'll succeed with Setsuna, but Setsuna and the other girls are all against the idea in general.
"This is the one for me," Mineta said, "I got a feeling!"
"That tonight's gonna be a good night?" Hizashi asked, drawing a smack to the back of his head from Aizawa.
Scoffing incredulously, Setsuna said, "Oh please. If Mineta is to succeed with getting with me, then he's going to have to make Jurassic Park into real life. And even then he had better pick some good dinosaurs to clone!"
"Oh yeah, you like dinosaurs," Itsuka remarked.
Tale, who wore a look of mild rememberence on his face, said, "...Actually, I have a friend who also likes dinosaurs."
"And before any of you ask, no it's not me," Kotaro remarked to the audience from where he stood next to Tale on the stage in front of the big theater screen.
Stretching her arms into the air, Mirko said, "Just play the next episode already! I wanna see how Dino-girl rejects the little grape boy!"
Turning to look at Mirko, Setsuna said, "Oh, so I'm Dino-girl now?"
"Why, is that not your hero alias?" Mirko asked.
Gently shaking her head, Setsuna replied, "No because Sekijiro-sensei wouldn't let me use it."
"If I did then I'd have had to allow Monoma his initial hero alias," Sekijiro replied, "Oneaeyslayer."
As a number of eyes turned to look at Monoma, Tale turned to Kotaro and asked, "Hey, is the episode with Setsuna ready since we know it's the next one?"
"Just got it synced up," Kotaro said as he pressed the button on the remote, making the big theater screen start up, with everyone turning front and center to watch what will be the last episode in the show.
...
(Mineta tries flirting with Setsuna Tokage)
"Come on, let me succeed on this one!" Mineta in the audience said, "It's my last chance!"
"Pfft, no way Jose," Setsuna remarked.
"Everyone, settle down," Nezu calmly ordered, "We need to see where this one goes."
It was a lovely enough morning over at UA high school where, over at the dorm building for class 1-A, the students residing within were starting on their day. This saw Mineta walk down the stairs and into the kitchen area, where Sero, Kirishima, and Kaminari were all eating some breakfast at the island counter. "How did you sleep Mineta?" Sero asked.
"Aside from the dream I had where I was flung into the air and screamed as I exploded, I'm doing pretty good this morning," Mineta replied.
Shrugging, Kaminari said, "Ah, the Krillin dream. Well anyway, you going after another girl again today?"
Nodding in the affirmative, Mineta declared, "Yes I am. I shall be aiming for Setsuna, the last girl in 1-B that I haven't tried flirting with yet."
"Saving the best for last, huh?" Setsuna in the audience remarked dryly.
"And the one I shall succeed with!" Mineta stated.
Looking up to Mineta from his breakfast, Kaminari said, "Are...you sure you can handle her? I mean, she can be pretty unpredictable."
Waving away Kaminari's concerns, Mineta replied, "Kaminari, trust me. With all the experience I have when it comes to mingling with the ladies, I'm sure that I'll have Tokage in the bag by the end of the day."
"I don't know," Kirishima said, "I mean, she was able to go toe to toe for a bit with Baku-bro in the joint training battles between our class and 1-B. She's no joke."
Pumping a fist into the air, Setsuna in the audience cheered, "Fuck yeah! I can tussle with the best of them!"
"But the question remains," Itsuka began, getting Setsuna's attention in the process, "Can you handle Mineta when he tries to creep on you?"
Shrugging, Mineta remarked, "Well I do have a way with the ladies, so..."
"She's the girl in 1-B who got into UA on recommendation," Sero pointed out, "Setsuna is basically the Yaoyorozu of class 1-B."
Mineta, looking confused, replied, "Wait, I thought that Kendo was the girl in 1-B who got into UA on recommendation." Briskly shaking his head, Mineta went on, "Wait, that doesn't matter. What does matter is how I'll make Tokage my girl by day's end today."
"...I don't know..." Kaminari began, a hint of mild concern in his tone, "I mean, you've failed in one way or the other with the last twelve girls you've tried to get with, so there's no way to say for certain that you'll get with Tokage successfully."
Pointing straight up dramatically, Mineta said, "I can be certain! For I have an ace up my sleeve that will guarantee that Tokage will want to be my girl!"
"What will Mineta use in this case to get Setsuna to agree to go out with him," Itsuka in the audience began, "Chocolates?"
"A cute stuffed animal?" Pony guessed.
"Blackmail?" Bakugo offered.
Sighing, Setsuna remarked, "Yeah, I'm not really seeing how any of those will work."
Smirking in a self-assured manner, Mineta said, "Oh, you'll see." Turning around, Mineta went on as he walked off, "See you later, fellas! I'll be off the market by the end of today!" With that, Mineta was off to go work his charms on Setsuna.
...
As Mineta made his way to the dorm building for class 1-B, he came upon the girl that he had his eyes out for, Setsuna Tokage. She was currently talking to Yosetsu, Itsuka, Kinoko, and Juzo about something that Mineta figured had to involve Yosetsu since the others were all facing him. "Trust me, Yosetsu," Itsuka said in a reassuring tone, "I'm sure that if you appeal to her just right, Momo will consider going out with you."
"I don't know," Yosetsu replied, sounding mildly unsure, "I mean, she's like the top girl here. I really do like her, but I'm doubting my chances with her."
"The Yosetsu here still doesn't know about how the Yaomomo here has a bunch of pictures of him taped to the back inside of her wardrobe," Mina in the audience remarked, a sly look of mild amusement on her face.
Yaoyorozu blushed with embarrassment a little bit as she said, "Sorry about that again, Yosetsu."
Shrugging, Yosetsu replied, "Hey, it's alright. And I still do like you, you know." That made the rich girl blush all the harder.
"Hey, I'm sure you'll knock it out of the park," Setsuna said, "I bet she'd like it if a nice guy tried flirting with her." After everyone reassured Yosetsu, Juzo took off with him to go try him against Yaoyorozu, with Itsuka and Kinoko going off to watch. As Setsuna had been left alone, Mineta saw it as his chance to try his luck with her.
"Hey Tokage, how's it hanging?" Mineta said, clearly trying to play it cool in his flirting as he got Setsuna's attention.
Arching a wry eyebrow as she regarded Mineta, Setsuna asked, "You're the grape boy who was on same joint training team as Midoriya, Uraraka, and Ashido, right?"
"It's not surprising I'm not too familiar with Mineta here," Setsuna in the audience remarked, "I mean, I'm hardly familiar with most of the students in 1-A to begin with."
"Because they're all inferior to those in our class!" Monoma declared.
Gently shaking her head, Setsuna said, "No, no it's because I'm just not too familiar with most people outside of our class in general. I barely recognize the support course girl who likes to blow shit up, and the tired looking boy who looks like if Aizawa-sensei had a secret love child."
"You mean Hatsume and Shinso?" Izuku asked, drawing an affirmative nod from Setsuna.
Todoroki, his eyes widening out of surprise, turned to face Aizawa and said, "Is Shin-"
"No he is not, Todoroki," Aizawa replied dryly, cutting Todoroki off mid sentence as he could tell what the son of Endeavor was going to ask.
Nodding once in the affirmative, Mineta replied, "Indeed I am. The name's Minoru Mineta."
"Wait, I thought that your name was actually Grape Head since that Bakugo guy calls you that, like, all the time," Setsuna replied, a sincerely confused look on her face.
Sighing, Mineta explained, "No, Bakugo just likes to give nicknames to people sometimes, with said nicknames often being insulting." Gently shaking his head, Mineta went on, "But that's not the point here. The point here is that I'm aiming to show you a good time. So what do you say?" Shooting Setsuna a flirtatious look, Mineta asked, "How would you like to go out with me?"
Shrugging, Setsuna replied, "Sorry, but no."
"Well there's the initial rejection," Itsuka in the audience said, "But I very much doubt that Mineta will be deterred on the first attempt."
Shrugging a bit, Mineta admitted, "Yeah, there's that."
Looking up at Setsuna, Mineta asked, "How come? I am pretty much the best ladies man here at UA. No other guy is better than me."
Shrugging, Setsuna replied, "To be honest, I'm just not in too much of a mood to date anyone period right now." With that, Setsuna turned around and walked away, leaving Mineta behind to think about what she had said.
A look of determination appeared on Mineta's face. "...So she just needs to be in the mood, huh? Very well, challenge accepted."
"And now he's going to try to push the subject," Itsuka in the audience said in a dry tone, "All due to not having much of an ability to take no for an answer."
Sighing, Mineta commented, "This will probably not end very well for me."
...
Mineta figured that he could try to make Setsuna see a lot of good about him, thus easing her more into the idea that she'd like dating him. He figured he'd try by first doing things he had it that girls like to see in guys. The first thing that Mineta would try was being great with kids, and luckily for him Tsuyu's younger brother Samidare was still staying at UA as part of all of that witness protection business.
After seeing Setsuna in a group of first year hero course girls nearby, Mineta got ready to act with an unknowing Samidare. "Hey little buddy," Mineta said, loud enough so that the girls all heard him thus turned to face where he was, "I got it that you think Edgeshot is a pretty cool pro hero, huh?"
Samidare looked at Mineta for a bit, his expression just slightly suspicious of the pervert boy he wants to protect his big sister from, before eventually nodding once in the affirmative. "Yes. I think that Edgeshot is cool."
"Heh, well ain't that sweet of the kid," Edgeshot in the audience remarked in mild amusement.
Tenya, his arms folded over his chest, remarked, "It's clear that Mineta is trying to be friendly with Samidare because by showing he can work with kids, he thinks that it will make him a lot more appealing to Tokage."
"He's using my little brother who isn't aware of Mineta's scheme as part of a gambit to make Setsuna like him kero?" Tsuyu questioned, "That is not good."
"Well Edgeshot is the number four hero," Mineta replied, "He's one of the best that the country has to offer." Mineta was playing off of what he remembered about Samidare's preferences when it came to pro heroes based off of the stickers he places on assignments that Aizawa grades and hands back, remembering that Edgeshot is the sticker that Samidare awards to papers that get an A.
Since the Edgeshot sticker was given on assignments with the second best possible grade (Mineta still has no idea which hero sticker is put on assignments that get an A+), Mineta had it that Samidare likes Edgeshot. On the opposite end, Mineta also knows which pro heroes the younger brother of Tsuyu did not like based on the sticker grading system, and knows that he doesn't like Endeavor who is put on any assignment with an F grade.
Acting on this, Mineta said, "Yeah, Edgeshot is pretty cool. Way cooler than Endeavor if you ask me, both metaphorically and literally."
Samidare nodded vigorously in agreement. "I do not like Endeavor. I thought I left him in the toilet."
Looking confused, Mineta repeated, "...Left Endeavor in the toilet?"
"Because he is a turd," Samidare replied.
A lot of people in the audience burst out laughing at the comment Samidare in the realm had made about Endeavor. Among those laughing were most of the villains, Bakugo and all of his squad, Mitsuki, Mirko, Ms. Joke, Todoroki, and Hizashi.
Sighing in a troubled tone, Endeavor said, "I know I need to work on being appealing to young children."
"Okay, that kid is straight up fire!" Dabi declared while pointing at the big theater screen.
Nodding in agreement with Samidare, Mineta remarked, "Yeah, Endeavor isn't going to be winning a lot of popularity contests any time soon from what I'm figuring. Edgeshot will have him beat by a mile." Wanting to try to work with Samidare even more, Mineta went on, "I mean, who can beat Edgeshot, I ask you?"
Samidare opened his mouth to speak, but he immediately closed his mouth back up when Tsuyu came over and got him. "Samidare, what are you doing talking to Mineta?" Tsuyu asked.
"Naughty Grape agrees with me that Endeavor is bad," Samidare replied simply.
Sighing, Tsuyu said, "Fair enough." To Mineta, Tsuyu said, "Please leave my little brother alone. I don't want him being influenced by you." Tsuyu then took Samidare away, leaving Mineta without a young kid to work with and make him look appealing to Setsuna.
Snapping his fingers, Mineta said, "Damn it."
"In Mineta's defense," Tenya in the audience began, "He actually wasn't doing anything straight up bad per say. All he was doing was trying to be nice to a young kid, albeit with some degree of ulterior motive."
"But in Tsuyu's defense," Uraraka went on, "She had no idea of that, and acted under the idea that Mineta might be a bad influence on Samidare which, given Mineta's background, is a rather justified belief on Tsuyu's part."
"Also," Izuku added, "If Tsuyu did have an idea of what Mineta was up to, she would still put a stop to it since she probably wouldn't appreciate seeing her little brother being used in that sort of manner."
Nodding in agreement, Tenya replied, "I know. I was just pointing out that Mineta was being far less reprehensible than he's been seen as throughout most of this show."
Sighing, Mineta added, "It's a good portrayal if you ask me."
...
Since he couldn't try appealing to Setsuna by being nice to a kid, Mineta next decided to try to appeal to her by baking; from what Mineta heard, girls really like boys who are dab hands in the kitchen. That would explain how Sato won the dorm showcase contest since the girls gave him the win because of his cake. But all of that is besides the point. The point here is that the short grape boy would be baking up a storm.
After some time spent in the kitchen, Mineta had baked three dozen cookies, one tray of brownies, and a cake. Sero, Kaminari, Kirishima, and Mina even bore witness to it, with the lot of them impressed that Mineta could actually pull that off. With everything set up, Mineta had arranged for all of class 1-B to come on over to the 1-A dorm. After a short bit, class 1-B as a whole showed up, and were curious about what the reason was.
"I'm trying my hand in baking, and I wanted an opinion outside of my class on what I did," Mineta said as he showed class 1-B to where everything was set up.
"Why try appealing to all of 1-B if only Setsuna is the target?" Kyoka in the audience asked.
Tenya, his arms folded over his chest, said, "Since Setsuna had earlier said she wasn't in the mood, Mineta's probably not trying to single her out and push it. He's slowly easing her into the idea that he'd be good to date."
Nodding in understanding, Mineta remarked, "That makes sense."
Some class 1-B students proceeded to try some of Mineta's baking, saying that since there's only one cake the girls get priority on it. At first, everyone seemed to like the baking, as well as the idea of Mineta baking. The grape boy even noticed it that Setsuna looked like she was very much enjoying the cookies and cake she was having. With all of that in mind, Mineta felt that his odds of getting Setsuna in the mood to be willing to date him were good.
...And then, Monoma.
"Yeah, figures that losers from 1-A would try sucking up to us because they've finally realized how much of a lot of oafish barbarians they've been," Monoma said, then added while facing Mineta, "Well I'll have you know it'll take a lot more than baking to bribe us!" The mood of the class 1-B students started dropping a bit because of Monoma going on another one of his trademarked tangents.
"Monoma no," Yosetsu said firmly, sounding mildly annoyed, "This isn't like that at all."
Scoffing in an annoyed tone, Yosetsu in the audience said, "Figures that Monoma and his raging hate boner for class 1-A would ruin the one good shot Mineta actually got."
Turning to face Yosetsu, Itsuka said, "You actually want Mineta to succeed?"
"That's not what I'm getting at," Yosetsu began to explain, "Mineta actually was doing good, and might of actually had a shot. But it was all scuttled because Monoma just had to let his dislike for 1-A rear it's ugly head."
"Thanks a lot, Monoma," Mineta said bitterly.
"They're exactly the kind of people who would do that," Monoma declared, "Having to have everyone like them because of their obsessive need to be in the spotlight all the time!"
"Monoma please stop," Juzo asked.
"I shall never cease!" Monoma proclaimed, "Not until 1-A is put into their place! Not until someone else gets to be the center of everyone's admiring attention! Not until-"
Monoma was cut off when Itsuka whacked him in the back of the head, knocking him out. "Sorry about that," Itsuka replied, "I'll make sure he's punished when we get back." Class 1-B took off, their moods overall slightly lower than when they came in.
Snapping his fingers, Mineta said, "Damn it, I was doing well until Monoma just had to go and ruin things for me!"
"Yeah, not gonna lie," Juzo in the audience said, "Monoma ruining the one decent shot Mineta's made wasn't all that good of a move."
"Well given that it was Monoma," Jurota began, "One can argue that he wasn't aware of nor was trying to ruin Mineta's efforts."
Turning to face where Monoma sat, Mineta flipped him off, prompting Monoma to flip him back off in return. "Monoma no," Yosetsu said, "You have no right."
...
Mineta figured that he had one last shot at Setsuna, so he decided that he'd try singing. He got a special guitar sized so that he could play it, then after learning enough to play, Mineta went over to where the 1-B girls were hanging. "What is it this time, Mineta?" Itsuka asked.
"Yeah, I'm sorry your time at my class's dorm building was shot," Mineta began, "So I figured that I'd try my attempt to perform the class 1-A anthem for you girls."
"Class 1-A has an anthem?" Setsuna replied, sounding confused.
Shrugging, Mineta explained, "I literally wrote it under an hour ago because I feel every class should have its own anthem. You girls should consider creating one for 1-B."
"Well at least he's being kind of honest," Itsuka in the audience remarked.
Mineta strummed the strings on his guitar and was about to start singing, but out of nowhere Hizashi could be heard yelling in a singing tone, "THIS IS THE TALE! OF CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!" The loudness of his singing made the girls all cover their ears as they all cried out in surprised alarm.
Looking over, Mineta saw Hizashi and tried to get his attention. "Hey Hizashi-sensei, you-"
"PIRATE SO BRAVE!" Hizashi continued to sing at full volume, "ON THE SEVEN-" Mineta, with an annoyed look on his face, went up to Hizashi and struck him in the right shin with his special guitar, cutting Hizashi off and making him cry out in pain. "Mineta, what the hell?!" Hizashi snapped.
"I should be saying that to you!" Mineta snapped back, "You ruined the performance that I was going to put on by loudly singing to the point no one within a one-hundred yard radius could hear anything else! I literally had to hit you like that because you wouldn't be able to hear me call to you to stop!"
Gesturing to the big theater screen, Aizawa in the audience said, "Normally, I'd be against a student hitting a teacher like that. But given that it was Hizashi, and Mineta had a point that he wouldn't have been able to get Hizashi to stop otherwise, I can't exactly fault him."
"There's also how you for real have had to strike Hizashi to get his attention because he was being too loud with his singing," Sekijiro pointed out, making Aizawa nod in agreement.
Sighing, Hizashi said, "Sorry about ruining your concert, Mineta."
After he settled things with Hizashi, Mineta went over to the 1-B girls. "Are you alright?" Mineta said to the girls as a whole but focused more on Setsuna.
"What?" Setsuna said somewhat loudly, "Can you repeat that? I'm having trouble hearing!" The other 1-B girls also were saying that they were having trouble hearing. At that point, Aizawa and Sekijiro came over, learned what had happened, and Aizawa took the 1-B girls to go see Recovery Girl while Sekijiro talked to Hizashi.
As he saw Setsuna and the other 1-B girls leave with Aizawa who had to gesture for them to follow him, Mineta looked down. His last chance to get with any of the girls in his year of the hero course had been shot. Seemingly giving up hope, Mineta with his head hung turned around and walked back to his class's dorm building, giving off a defeated air. After Mineta was out of view, Sekijiro could be seen punching Hizashi in the face repeatedly while gripping the front of his leather jacket.
FIN
Mineta let out a troubled sigh. "...So that's it then. I failed to have even any manner of success with any of the girls."
Shrugging, Kotaro said, "Yeah, sorry about that one, Mineta."
"I'm not sorry," Monoma said, "For it is only natural that a boy from class 1-A would fail to get with any girl, because the boys of that class are all a bunch of-"
Monoma stopped short when the big theater screen began glowing rainbow colors. "Oh not this shit again!" Kotaro exclaimed right before a big message began to flash on the screen;
ALL THIRTEEN EPISODES OF THE REALM WHERE MINETA TRIES FLIRTING WITH EACH GIRL IN HIS YEAR OF UA'S HERO COURSE WITH A DIFFERENT GIRL PER EPISODE HAVE BEEN VIEWED: ALL FIVE BONUS EPISODES HAVE BEEN UNLOCKED
"Wait a minute," Tale said in mildly alarmed confusion, "Five?!"
END OF CHAPTER
Author's notes;
With this, Mineta has flirted with each of the girls in his year of UA's hero course. Although all thirteen tries have ended in failure for Mineta, the five bonus shots are a different story as they were not accounted for; who knows what's in store for Mineta in those bonus episodes. All I can say is that they will indeed be a different story for Mineta than the first year UA hero course girls. Take care, and see you later.