A.N.: Ooh, a bit of an NSFW chapter! At least part of it, anyway.
It was a warm August afternoon when she arrived. With all luck they would have one normal evening before the full moon. Hope was the first to the door, hugging Hazel tightly. "How are you, dear? How was the trip?" She was perfectly pleasant, freckles dotting her face like they dotted her son's, running under his scars.
"Ah, there she is!" Lyall Lupin was nearly a head taller than his wife, and he had the exact same smile as Remus did.
Remus appeared behind them, a little taller than he had been when Hazel last saw him. "Hey," he smiled, pulling her into his arms. "How are you? How was the trip? Here, let me take your stuff."
As Remus took her bag to the guest room, Hope showed her around the house. They ended up in a kitchen full of plants just as Lyall checked his watch. "Hope, honey, we should probably get going if we want to be home in time to make dinner and start to get things set for tomorrow." He too was against Hazel coming during the full moon, but she had won out.
"We're heading into town to pick up some last-minute groceries," Hope explained as she grabbed her purse and checked for her car keys. "And to run a few other errands. Neither of us likes to leave the house during the full moon if we can help it," she explained as Hazel followed her to the front hall. "We'll go to work, but since this one's over a weekend, we'll be here." Remus came back downstairs as Hope was putting her shoes on. "Is there anything else you want from the market, Remmy?"
"No, I think we're going to be alright. Do we have enough dittany?"
Hope looked to her husband. "We can pick more up. That's the - what's the wizard chemist called again?"
"We can get dittany from the apothecary," Lyall thought aloud. "That makes the post office, the apothecary, the butcher, and the actual market?"
Hope nodded. "That's it. If we're back too late, we may just pick up dinner. Alright, we'll see you later. Hazel, dear, settle in, feel free to grab something to eat or drink. Whatever you want. Open some cabinets, root through the fridge, Remus knows where everything is."
The two of them left, Remus giving Hazel another hug. "It's so good to see you again," he smiled, bending down to kiss her. She relaxed in his arms, holding him close for a couple of minutes.
"It's good to see you too, Rem. I've missed you so much."
They ended up grabbing a couple of butterbeers and heading upstairs, Hazel sitting down on his bed and taking in the room. It was painted a pleasant shade of yellow, and Hope had moved a couple of her plants in while he was gone for school. Posters were tacked all over the walls, and a record player sat atop a table flanked on either side by stacks of vinyl records. Pictures - of the Marauders, of the two of them, of family she hadn't met yet - were taped all over his wardrobe. His Hogwarts trunk sat at the foot of his bed, propped open and still full of books. It was a pleasant place to live, with a nice view out over the garden, and with plenty of warm sunlight spilling in through the windows.
Even in the warmth of summer, Remus was wearing a jumper. He pushed the sleeves up when he remembered that she knew about all of the scars, but he still remained conscious of them. He hated people seeing him like that, like a wounded animal. But all thoughts about them were forgotten when Hazel took his hand, chatting merrily about whatever record he'd put on. Sitting there with her in the eternal warmth of summer, he couldn't help but to smile.
It was only natural when she leaned in to kiss him, and even more natural when he wound a hand through her hair, pulling her on top of him. Suddenly too warm for a jumper, Remus sat up, quickly throwing it onto the floor. Hazel smiled, running her fingers along one of the scars that ran almost all the way down his stomach. It was an old wound, and a deep one from the looks of it. It's okay. She's safe. She's not going to make fun of you. She's not afraid of them. It's okay. "February of first year," he whispered, satiating her curiosity as he cautiously moved a hand up the back of her shirt. "This alright?"
"Yeah," she answered, leaning in to kiss him again. It wasn't enough, it would never be enough. She longed to get closer to him, longed to… She sat up a bit, pulling her own shirt off and throwing it down next to his. Looking up in awe at her nearly unblemished skin (and again comparing it to his own), Remus hardly noticed he'd been tracing the clasp on her bra until she reached up and helped him take it off. "Aww, Rem, you're turning positively pink," she smiled, bending down to kiss him. He inhaled a little too sharply at the feeling of her bare skin on his. "You're adorable."
"Wait. Let me... let me look at you." She sat up again, Remus staring for a second. He had no idea how red his face was, and frankly, he didn't care. All he could do was look at her, at the couple of childhood scars that were nothing like his own. "You're - You're beautiful. Can I… can I touch you?"
She nodded, starting to trace the lines that ran down his ribs, a couple of wounds that came from a particularly bad full moon when he was eight. "You know what these remind me of?" she asked softly. "With all of the freckles, they look like the star charts we draw in Astronomy. See? All the scars connect the freckles, like we connect the stars to draw out constellations." She talked quickly, nerves starting to build behind her voice as he ran his hands down her sides and back up again, his fingers dancing over her chest like she was made of porcelain. "Oh..." She couldn't help but smile, Remus pulling her in for another long kiss. "Do you want to…" She hopped up, giving him her hand.
Button. Zipper. Button. Zipper. And then they were left in their underwear. Hazel draped her arms over his shoulders, starting to kiss him again and enjoying the feeling of his chest on hers. For his part, Remus nearly groaned as soon as she touched him. Guiding her back to his bed, he laid her down gently and climbed on top of her before settling in for another long kiss. "Hazel," he whispered, kissing her feverishly. He trailed his fingers down her stomach, all the way down between her legs and very slowly back up again. "You are really… wet." He blushed at the last word, asking a rushed, "Is this okay?" She nodded, closing her eyes and insisting that he kiss her again.
So he did, bringing his finger back down between her legs. Up and down and up and down and up and down until she moaned into the kiss and they broke apart. "Rem… Remus, p-please…"
"What do you want me to do, sweet girl?" he whispered in her ear, delighting in the sounds she made and how she was pressing her body into his hand.
"I want you to - hold on." She couldn't help but giggle as she squirmed underneath him, taking her underwear off and throwing them beside the bed before reaching for his waistband. "There. I want you to take these off."
He bit his lip, absolutely scarlet now. "Erm, okay. Hold on, I don't want to fall off of the bed." When she smiled, he smiled, knowing everything would be okay.
She spread her legs a little more, letting him position himself between them. As he took a deep breath to steady himself, she frowned the slightest bit, putting a hand to his cheek. "Wait, Rem, is this your first time doing this?" He nodded, Hazel smiling at him even more. "Mine too."
"Are you sure you want to do this? With me?"
"Yes. If you're sure you want to," she nodded, rubbing his cheek with her thumb.
"Since it's both of our firsts, we'll try to make it extra special," he whispered, leaning in to kiss her. "Are you sure you're ready?"
She took a deep breath, putting her hands on his shoulders. "Yeah. Go ahead."
"I'll try to be gentle. Just tell me if you want to stop." He kissed her tenderly, whispering about how wonderful she was. "Ready?" She nodded, Remus giving her the slightest ghost of a kiss so he could look in her eyes as he pushed inside her. Hazel whimpered slightly, so he stopped and asked a very nervous, "Am I hurting you? We can stop if you want."
"It's fine, I just… go all the way in and then give me a second," Hazel answered, staring into the eyes that had always made her feel so safe. "It doesn't - it's not bad. Just takes some… getting used to?" she smiled nervously, Remus gently kissing her again. "Okay, go ahead, just… go slowly at first."
He was terrified of hurting her, but she kept telling him that he was doing wonderfully, so he slowly let himself speed up and slowly let himself fall into the moment. The first time she stopped kissing him, closing her eyes and digging her nails into his shoulders, he very nearly thought he'd done something wrong. "Oh Merlin, did I hurt you? I'm sorry -"
"Don't you dare slow down," she breathed. "I - oh Remus… Rem…" She repeated his name like a prayer, slowly relaxing her grip on his shoulders. "How did you - don't answer that."
The ache in his abdomen was growing, Remus leaning in to whisper in her ear. "Do you mind if I go faster? Just a bit more?"
"That's good, yeah." She wound one hand into his hair, keeping the other steadily on his back as he buried his face in the curve of her neck.
It didn't take him long to start mumbling a string of expletives, his once-gentle movements getting a bit rougher until he swore loudly in her ear, a feeling of warmth spreading inside her. "Oh Merlin, Hazel," he moaned, slowly pulling out of her. Before she could protest, to string the words together to ask him to please address the aching feeling that was building again, he lay down at her side, pulling her into a kiss and moving his hand back down between her legs, rubbing slow circles, "Here?"
"There," she nodded, kissing him slowly until it was her turn to bury her face in his shoulder. "Remus… oh Remus, please don't stop. Please, please keep…" Obediently he kept rubbing until her grip on him relaxed and her breath steadied out. The two of them lay in silence, holding on to each other and basking in the warm glow of the late afternoon sun until Hazel sat up and reached for her wand. She waved it over both of them, cleaning everything off, all of the sweat and other things that Hope definitely didn't want to find in the laundry disappearing in an instant. Then she waved her wand over herself, performing the contraceptive charm the seventh years told everyone about at the end of the year. Institutional knowledge, or whatever they called it.
Putting her wand back on the bedside table, she lay down again. Remus wound an arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "That was… that was amazing. I… thank you," he breathed, turning so he could look at her a little better. "Erm, I didn't hurt you, did I? Are you okay? And am I any good?"
"I'm fine," she smiled, giving him a quick peck on the lips. "And you're very good, Rem. You're a perfect gentleman. You are absolutely wonderful, and that was fantastic."
"You're sure I didn't hurt you?" he pressed.
She smiled, promising him that, "It only hurt for a couple of seconds, but the good kind of hurt, you know? I'm glad… I'm glad I have you, Rem. I wouldn't want it to have been anyone else."
"Me either." He pulled her to his chest, the two of them laying there for a bit longer. "Hazel? I would love to just fall asleep like this, but Mum and Dad are going to be back soon."
Slowly getting up, she turned to look at him and gave him one last kiss. "Let's get some clothes on, get your bed made, and get downstairs before they get home."
"That was really nice," he said as he pulled his jumper back on. "We'll have to find a way… when we get back to Hogwarts. But only if you want to do it again."
Hazel stopped him for a second, trying to stop the insecurity before it grew to be too much to bear. "Rem, I'd love to do that again. Hell, I'd love to do it again sooner than back at Hogwarts, but... you need your rest tonight. We both do. And don't worry about trying to be quiet when we're at school... I can think of a way. Merlin, I hope I remember how to walk properly before your parents get home." He laughed, pulling her in for a kiss as she tried to make his hair look anything close to how it had looked earlier.
When Hope and Lyall got home, laden down with bags of groceries, they found Remus stretched across the sofa, Hazel's head on his chest as they watched a movie, Remus lazily running a hand through her hair. "Alright, you two, time to help us bring things in. Your father went a little overboard," Hope laughed, her husband following her to the kitchen. "What have you two been up to?"
"Nothing much," Remus shrugged as he and Hazel headed out to the car. "We spent a while just catching up. There's a lot we both missed."
Hope didn't ask any more questions. She'd been there when Aunt Violet had to deliver the bad news on the train platform, and Remus had told her and his father everything Hazel had told him through her letters about the Death Eater raid, the funeral, and all of the investigations.
After dinner, Hope pulled her into the kitchen to help with a few things. As Hazel stacked plates into the dishwasher, Hope sighed, confessing, "You've done Remus a lot of good. I know Sirius and James and Peter have helped since his first year at Hogwarts, but… you've made him even happier. He's told us about how you insist on looking after him after every full moon."
"It's the least I can do, really," Hazel said, reaching for the silverware next. Hope dried her hands and leaned back on the counter, a smile on her face. "I wish I could do more, but… I'm glad he has the boys to keep him company."
"You do plenty. He's much happier with you there. It gives him something to keep his mind off of the pain. You know… When I first introduced my parents to Lyall, and told them what he was, they were horrified. They thought I was with a monster. I'm very glad you see Remus for the boy he is, not as something horrible." Hope pulled her into a motherly hug, saying, "I'm sorry about what you've been through this summer. It's never easy to lose a parent, but so young… I know you still have your aunt and uncle, but if you ever need anything, you just write."
"Thank you," Hazel smiled as Hope let her go. "It's been… difficult to say the least." She turned away to wash her hands, trying to steady herself. Aunt Violet said it wouldn't sting as much after a while, but every time someone brought up her mum, Hazel felt like she'd been hit in the chest. Remus had promised not to bring it up, but his parents… she should have known. "I'm lucky, though. Lucky I wasn't there, lucky I have Aunt Violet and Uncle Sherlock, lucky I have Sev - he came to the funeral, you know - lucky I have Remus… Thank you."
When Hazel went to find Remus, she stopped just short of the living room, having heard how grave his father's voice sounded. She took a half-step back into the shadows, listening in. "All I'm saying is that you need to be careful. Are you sure?"
"Dad, yes, it's been over a year now, and she - you know she's not afraid. That's why she sits up in Gryffindor Tower and waits for me to come back. That's why she helps patch up all of my wounds and brings me all of my homework when I sleep through class. That's why she's here now, why she insists on seeing what I am, what I can turn into." She'd heard Remus annoyed before, but this was nearing pure anger.
Lyall's frown was nearly audible. "I still think it's a terrible idea. All of the wards have always held and the charms will be fine, but once she sees it, once she sees you like that, she can't unsee it."
From her position in the shadows, Hazel could see a sliver of Remus' face. Judging by how his lip was twitching, he was nearing angry tears. "I know what I am. I know I'm incredibly lucky that she didn't run the second she figured it out. I don't want her to see it either. But she wants to, and she deserves to know… to know what she's going to be stuck with if," his breath caught in his throat, Remus pawing at his eyes, "if we stay together. Dad, I can see it. I can see us together for… for forever. I love her. I haven't told her yet, but I love her. And I think she loves me too, but I'm afraid she's not going to love me after what she sees tomorrow night."
Lyall sighed, moving over so he could hug his son. "Your mum and I will always love you. You're our little cub and nothing's ever going to change that."
"But I want her to love me too." It was a voice she'd never heard from him, one that was absolutely broken.
Hazel leaned on the wall, taking a deep breath. Deciding against interrupting, she crept over to the guest room and changed into her pajamas before she came back. By the time she reached the living room again, all seemed normal. Remus waved her over to the sofa. "Hey, Rem. Cleaning up took a little longer than we thought."
"No worries," he smiled bravely, though Hazel now knew that he was afraid this was the last night he would see her so cheerful. She settled in beside him, leaning her head on his shoulder like she hadn't overheard anything at all.
"Rem?" She whispered, Remus raising an eyebrow. She planted a swift kiss on his cheek before settling in again.