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My Gabrinaland citizens said that this should come with a warning for tissues. Disturbing situation follows and some readers may want to proceed with caution. NDBRs: The chapter is now complete.

Giver24

If she lived or died, it was my doing. My hands shook as I carried a bucket of water and one of my freshly washed shirts to the injured dog and sat beside her. Gently I placed my hand near her muzzle and allowed her to smell me, hoping she could smell my willingness to help her and not the pungent scent of my fear that I would kill her.

Her little stump of a tail wiggled and she lowered her head. For a moment I thought she would close her eyes and take her last breath, but she didn't. She merely exhaled and waited, deciding she could trust me.

"Head first," I mumbled as I took my pocketknife and ripped off one of my shirt sleeves. I soaked it in the bucket of water and wrung it out while The Shadow came to sit beside me. He didn't say a word as I cleaned her wounds, my eyes clouding with tears as she whimpered.

Her flesh was raw, the muscles along the back of her neck and shoulders exposed where the bites were the deepest. Flies buzzed around her and I shooed them away, knowing that if they laid eggs in her cuts she was as good as dead. Flies, however, were the least of her worries. Blood still oozed from her injuries and I covered them as best I could with sections from my shirt.

"Do we have anything left for her to eat?" I asked. My voice was tight with worry.

"Tomorrow's breakfast," The Shadow answered.

I looked into the dog's sad brown eyes. She'd placed her trust in me, a boy, when it was men who had brought her to the brink of death. I rubbed her chin, which she rested on my knee.

"I won't be hungry tomorrow morning," I said despite my stomach already growling.

The Shadow frowned but didn't protest. He handed me one of the leather sacks and lay back in the grass. "You may do as you wish with your supper so long as you don't lag behind tomorrow. We must reach Paris by the end of the month. Joshua is expecting us."

I barely listened to his words. For the moment only this dog mattered to me. I had unrealistic images of her suddenly finding her strength and briskly trotting behind me all the way through Germany into France. I imagined her as a great pheasant hunter, a companion trotting along rivers, a friend for the untraveled road. In her soft eyes I saw the will to live—but I didn't know if she could manage to stand, much less follow me in less than two hours.

"It isn't fair," I blurted out suddenly.

My uncle refused to meet my eye. He did nothing more than nod.

"I will stay with her."

"No, my child."

"Only for the remainder of the day. Then we'll catch up to you."

"Erik—"

"I walk fast. You may take the donkey and I shall walk."

"It's far too dangerous for the two of us. We stay together."

I'd argue until I was out of breath, but the dog began to pant harder. I offered her food but she merely sniffed it and rested her head on my leg.

"By tomorrow she'll be well-rested," I said under my breath.

"We don't have until tomorrow."

"Why not?"

"Because we've many miles to walk and little time to waste."

"I'm not wasting time," I argued.

"No, you're not. I'm very proud of you, Erik, but no matter how much time you dedicate to her, the kindest fate for this creature is a swift death."

I wanted to cover her stubby ears so that she wouldn't hear such words. Instead, I bent and kissed the top of her head, careful to avoid the puncture wounds near her nose.

"She's strong," I whispered.

"But not strong enough. Not for this."

His words angered me, because I knew he was correct. Though no matter what, I wouldn't give up on her. Jaw clenched, I stubbornly bound the remainder of my shirt sleeves around her legs and then removed the shirt from my back and covered her torso to keep the flies and gnats away.

"Erik," my uncle warned.

"I don't care."

"You must do what is necessary."

Tears threatened. Heat rose along the back of my neck and the worst pain I had ever felt settled in my heart. I was losing. In the past I had always failed myself, but now I stood on the brink of failing someone else. Not a person who held me in high regard but a dog who had done nothing more than trust me. Unconditional respect, unhindered affection…I saw in her eyes everything I felt for The Shadow. Her life was mine. I couldn't deny her, couldn't abandon her, couldn't look away from her gnarled face.

The Shadow moved my pocketknife closer to my leg but didn't say a word. He stood and walked away, leaving me to collect my thoughts and make a decision. Unable to speak, I lay down beside the dog and continued to pet her, wondering how I could cross a bridge of compassion and kill this animal that depended on me.

It was for the best, but it didn't feel right to me. A lifetime of suffering deserved an ending with peace—but this wasn't peaceful, at least not for me. All I could think of was those beautiful dark brown eyes turning vacant, the little stub of a tail going still. I wouldn't be able to look at her once I cut her throat. I wasn't sure if I could bring myself to hold and attempt to comfort her once I betrayed her.

I suddenly realized I was sobbing into my shirt that covered her side. I tore out clumps of grass and beat my fist against the dirt. My heart felt as though it would shrivel and turn to dust.

And then she nudged my face with her muzzle and knocked my mask from my face. Her soft, warm tongue laved my cheeks. There it was settled: I wouldn't kill her. Even if it was for the best, even if it was necessary, I couldn't hurt her. Quite possibly my decision hurt her worse and made her suffer more, but I accepted my weakness.

The Shadow returned and stood over me. "We need more water, Erik."

I gazed up at him and studied the hardened expression on his face. My heart beat faster, my hands still trembling. With my eyes cast down I stood and reached for the nearly empty bucket. In my heart I knew I shouldn't have turned once I walked away, but I felt compelled. Tears pricked my eyes and I held my breath.

The Shadow knelt beside the wounded animal, a skinning knife in hand. He held her by the muzzle and I closed my eyes. Barely able to see where I walked, I slunk away until my feet were in the river and the sound of flowing water drowned out my pathetic cries.

With my hand over my mouth I knelt in the river. Rocks dug into my knees, but my pain was of little concern. I wondered if she was dead yet or if she struggled to breathe. I wondered if The Shadow spoke to her or if he left her to die alone.

The last thought disturbed me and I was forced to my feet. Bewilderment turned to anger as I could not fathom this creature's last moments in solitude. Hands balled into fists, I crested the hill and searched the small glade where I had abandoned her.

The Shadow squatted beneath a pine tree, his body at an angle. His hand, which I could barely see, was covered in blood. My vision swayed and I thought I would pass out, but somehow I walked toward him and opened my mouth. No words emerged. I merely stood some twenty paces away with my mouth agape.

"She knew," he said.

Dumb with grief, I merely nodded. I had no idea what his words meant, but I didn't see a body and assumed he'd already buried her at least under the leaves.

"She wanted to follow you the moment you walked away," he said softly. "Far be it from me to deny her request, especially when she's shown her tenacity."

Through tear-filled eyes I followed his gaze and found the animal laying with her head held up and her tongue hanging from the corner of her mouth. I put my fists to my eyes and stumbled toward her.

"How?" I whispered. Only moments before I had thought for certain that she would die yet now she lay watching me.

The Shadow placed his hand on my shoulder. "Loyalty has kept her alive."