Giver26

"Beguiler"

While I relished my musical talents, I marveled more at my cunning ways. Fools could learn several notes on a piano. It was a trait easily learned—or so I thought. I'd learned to play it. I knew from what The Shadow told me that music was in my blood.

But to deceive? No, this was a talent all my own, one which set me apart from the rest. I was not a Kimmer, a musician. I was Erik, an aspiring thief who had little knowledge of what my coveted talent would demand from me. I merely knew that I was quick and quiet, which aided in my deception. I'd managed to elude a farmer and his dogs. What else could I elude if I had the inclination?

"Don't do that," The Shadow snapped at me.

I'd been burning leaves over the fire, fighting against the pain in my fingertips to test my endurance. Ignorance was the companion I kept at all times. Fueled by the churning of a man's body that longed to be set free, harnessed by boyish stupidity and naiveté, I was anxious to test my boundaries once more.

"You'll ruin your fingers."

I dropped the leaf into the fire and plucked another one from the ground. "It doesn't hurt."

"Then I'll drive a spit through your mouth and hang you over the fire." He grinned inwardly, quelling my combative nature with a baseless threat.

I would have continued but he brought his hand to his face and scratched his nose with his thumb. I studied his claw-like hand and felt a pinch of shame in my gut. Time and again he'd protected me, yet for the moment I didn't want to be shielded. I wanted to experience the whole world.

"When do we travel by water?" I asked.

Girl stretched out and kicked me in the back with her front legs. She was still riddled with scabs but had survived her dance with death. With scars crisscrossing her back and her ears permanently displayed as chewed-off stumps, she would guard me fiercely. I wasn't certain if I was her master or her puppy.

The Shadow groaned. "Soon."

"How soon?" I had decided to annoy him. A nameless rush filled my insides, a tide borne of desire that bordered on sexuality. I wanted something badly but couldn't understand what I wanted. Whatever pumped through my veins was being denied.

"Go to sleep."

"The fire will die and we'll freeze to death."

He chuckled to himself. "It's not cold enough for us to freeze to death. And besides, you have a dog and I have a donkey to keep me warm."

I was too restless to remain still. Before he could say another word I climbed to my feet and looked around for wood to add to our fire. We were not the only people in the vicinity, I knew, and most of the dried wood had already been taken. Two girls and their father were some five hundred feet away. Past them were two brothers in their late thirties. One of them had a lazy eye. The other had too many teeth. Along with them was a man who claimed he was a preacher. He didn't look clean enough to be a preacher.

"Tire yourself out. I'll return shortly."

"Where are you going?"

"You have the personality of a fly one moment and a raccoon the next. To see if the man and his daughters need anything for the night. We have food to spare."

On account of my quick hand, I thought proudly.

He struggled to his feet and limped from our camp. For two weeks—ever since we'd gathered our belongings and I'd claimed the dog—he'd complained of sore feet. Most of the time he refused to ride upon the donkey. I shrugged it off as nothing more than personal preference. Despite my own nearly lethal dose of pride I didn't recognize his dismissal as the need to prove his strength. I merely thought he didn't like the donkey.

I kept myself busy, eventually stumbling upon several blackberry bushes hidden amongst thorns. I scraped the back of my hands raw as I plucked handfuls of berries and stuffed them into my mouth. Tangy yet sweet, I sighed and wished I'd had honey or sugar with which to coat them.

"He's a good boy."

The sound of my uncle's voice caused a breath to lodge a breath in my throat.

"Spirited, but he has a good heart."

"You will watch him closely tonight. I do not want a boy's desires to prey upon my girls."

"He's a man, not an animal. He will not set off to rape and kill in the middle of the night, I assure you."

Blood drummed through my ears. I didn't want to be watched over, monitored to protect good, wholesome individuals. I didn't want to be questioned about my motives. I would not attack him or his daughters. Why would I want to harm them?

"I will not risk evil on my daughters, be they thoughts or actions."

I stalked away, tromped noisily through the fallen leaves and twigs. My feet plunked through the river, indifferent to the disturbance. I didn't care if I woke everyone in the vicinity, didn't give a damn if I woke every man, woman and child on the face of the earth. If they wanted a warning then so be it. There I was, fuming at their insinuations.

Were they satisfied, I wondered? Should I attach a bell to my neck? Tie myself to a tree for their safety? Live within a locked cage?

My teeth ground together. I continued to walk as far and as fast as I could, leaving behind the smell of open fires and supper. I felt confined on the inside, caged by my body, by the perception of my mask.

With darkness surrounding me I tore the cloth mask from my face and nearly whipped it into the woods but I stopped. My heart thundered, my hands shook. In reckless abandon I had still recognized the perimeter on which I stood, the line between animalistic rage and human frustration.

I pulled back from the edge and took a breath, clutching the mask to my chest. Somehow, in some damnable way, I'd managed to arouse myself.

I hated this body and its new, uncontrollable functions. With a hard thud I collapsed in the darkness, not wanting anything to do with my unbidden lust. I was reminded of my father, of how he'd stood over me in threat instead of guidance and protection. Much to my disgust I was forced to either suffer the pain or ease it. Quietly, shame lingering on the horizon, I held my breath and eased it. Relief, not satisfaction rippled through my insides. In the back of my mind I heard the girls' voices. Their laughter mingling with splashes of water, their teasing words as they chased each other.

And then I realized it wasn't in my head. They were near. Too near. I fumbled to stand and button my pants. I'd barely managed to cover myself when a soft body bumped into mine. In darkness I reached out, grabbed an equally soft arm and braced her. The mask fell from my grasp, replaced by more flesh, more softness…and warmth.

Darkness did not hide her face from my eyes. I saw the curve of her lips like bowstrings, saw a flash of her colorless eyes fringed with long lashes. She didn't look me in the eye because she couldn't see me in the darkness, especially not past her long bangs. A woodland sprite, I thought for a moment. I'd caught one.

"Excuse me," she whispered. She inhaled deeply, smelling what I didn't know. I smelled her as well. "My sister…"

"Over here!" another voice called.

But I held onto her longer than I should have, allowed my fingers to run across her forearms.

She giggled nervously. "I said excuse me."

"Yes," I answered.

"Then you must release me."

"Yes." My grasp on her tightened.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't know."

A soft giggle, of appreciation or fear, I didn't know. It was difficult to differentiate in the darkness.

"I asked you to release me."

"I know."

"Or I will scream," she whispered.

In a heartbeat I was ten feet away from her and cowering behind a tree. My curiosity fled and with it so did all sense of arousal and sexuality. Ashamed of myself, I shook with regret.

"I'm…I'm not a beast," I whispered.

She didn't say a word. Truthfully I had no idea if she still stood there.

"And…and I'm not…evil."

My heart twisted and tears threatened to reduce me to a child. I wanted her to answer me, to reassure me that I was correct. I wasn't a beast, I wasn't evil…I was bitterly, heart achingly confused.

"You, sir," she answered at last. "Are a beguiler, a seducer, and a thief of young women."

She giggled again and tore through the woods, chasing after her sister. I was left in shadows, my mask discarded, cloaked only in mystery.

I was fascinated by the power of darkness and touch. How perfectly they melded, what comfort and unknown peril they delivered. My hands still burned with the heat of her flesh, my nose filled with the smell of both her and the forest.

"Beguiler," I whispered.

Of all the words ever used to name me, this one made me smile…almost as much as "thief."