Star Wars: Episode VII: Return of the Force: Chapter 14: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Bites Back: Chapter 5: Star Wars Episode IX: The Feral Flump: Chapter 1: The First Encounter.
Chith, Luke, and King Solo were flying around all over the space in their puny little ship.
"Luke stop fucking around!" Barked Chith.
"I'm sorry but I'm trying to find the shopping mall planet, Dillards. My hand is RUINED! I need a new hand but I don't have any cheddar." Luke said said Luke.
"Well you're not doing a very good job flying this ting." Chith rebundled.
Chith got up out of his seat (after unbuckling his seat belt of course) and plopped a big sit on Luke's lap in the driver seat. Luke blushed a lil. Chith flew to the planet Dillards cause he knows where the hell that planet is.
"Woof woof" barked Chapstick.
"Shut up Chipshit!" Borked Chith.
Chipgrip got sad and retreated to his failure corner even though he didn't even say a word.
"I'm hungry." Said King Solo, with his face still in his mands.
Chith flew the ship to the planet Dillards. And Luke got al giddy at the thought of his new hand.
He ran to the nearest coat rack and smashed the hanger hanging up a delightful red sweater. He stuck the hook of the hanger in his stump of a hand.
"Squiddly Skwa!" Luke squealed with delight.
"Hey stop that there!" Said the man at the counter.
Chith looked at the man and then noticed his name tag. "Po Dameron" he said. "I don't have to listen to you! You're a retail worker!" You don't matter to the universe or anything." Chith continued, as he looked at the large, red, tubby alien.
Somewhere deep deep in the outer rim of the universe's asshole. A black pile of sluge and rump squiggled through the stars all trying to find their way back together.
Where am I? What happened?
The squishy slimy goop bonded together with pieces of floating droid and ship debris in the outer rim.
What… is Brian's purpose?
The debris gooped and sticked together creating a new cyborgnetic body.
"Hello, reader! It's me! I'm Dith! I'm back!" Dith exclaimed.
In the otrher part of the universe Kind Solo was pumpin' out clones of Dith.
"Yeah baby! (Austin powers) why didn't I do this earlier?!" Kind Solo said.
He sat at his tiny desk and watched over the Darth Dith factory while watching Sim Suns on his tv. (Sim Suns was the most popular television programs in the galaxy)
"Hey boss, I got something to ask you." Said a large purple ape creature in the corner of the room.
"What is it, Grape Ape?" Kind Solo asked.
"Remember when you saved me on that asteroid?" Grape Ape asked. "Why did you do that?"
"Hmph…" Kind Solo replied. "It's all a part of Brian's purpose."
Author's note: Who the FUCK is Brian?!
"Master Solo, the crowd is geting restless out here!" Said a protocal droind by the name of Fel1x Fucks-it.
"Kind Solo will go now!" Kind Solo stood up and shouted. "Be good Grape Ape." He whispered.
Kind Solo took off his shoes then kneeled down and placed his knees in each shoe. Making himslef appear to be a little man. And then waddled out of the room.
Back to where we were in the beginning of the chapter:
"No Moster Chith, they are very nice pants." Luuk said.
"Thanks." Chith said referring to the new Star Wars pants he just bought.
"Heck men! Check dis ting out!" Jaim'z Supplebutt said pointing to a big huge screen.
Luke and Chith both LUKed at the big screen. King Solo wasn't there. He was somewhere else.
Luke Sky walker drooled.
IT WAS KIND SOLO ON THE SCREEN! Everyone in the mall looked at screen.
"Everyone. I thank you for your undying support of my new empire. Vey legal. Very cool." Kind Solo said.
The crowd shouted.
"I've created the Darth Dith Army! It will keep the peace. We don't need to be afraid no mo."
The Darth Dith army (in the background) all waved at the camera in unison.
Cyborg Dith, (who we will just be referring to as 'Dith' from now on) builed his own ship out of the remaining pieces of other ship used his forcer head to find his friends. Chith and Luke and King Solo and Jaim'z Supplebutt and especially Chipgrip but not Chapstick.
"We gotta go" Said Chilth.
Luke tried to pick his nose but accidentally used the hook hand.
"Ow." Luke said.
The hook was one of those normal clothes hanger hooks. Not very sharp, but enough to hurt a weakling probably. Like just imagine accidentally scratching your nose on a clothes hanger hook. No the worst pain but you see where I'm going here.
Dith arrived. He looked like a mangled mess!
"You need a shower Dith!" Jaim'z said.
Dith honked a loogy and siad "No not yet."
Luke shot out his green sabre, Chith shot out his purple light saber and Dith shot out his red one. The three did a friendly clash together. Jaim'z shot a lazer at the triforce of sabers and it bounced off the sabers and hit an alien in the food court. He died.
"OOPS!" Jaim'z shouted.
Suddenly an explosion sounded and we've got trouble.
Two tie fightered crashed into the mall and out walked the two Darth Vaderes walked out. They sorta stumbled because their heads were on the wrong bodies.
"We're here now why not" Left Vader said (he was actually on the right)
The Darth Vaders shot out 2 pink, rose colored light saberes.
"Now then. Lets get giggy with it." Left Vader continued.
"I fuckin' hate these loseres!" Luke scrambled.
"Woah sheesh settle down" Jaim'z retorted.
"No! These guys are an insult to my late grandfather's name, Anakin Elizabeth Skywalker." Luke said and jummed.
The 2 jedi (Chith and Luke), the new sith-turned jedi (Dith) and the two clones of sith lord Darth Vader (the twin Darth Vaders) All jummed and clashed.
"Fish fash clickidy clack patti wack give a dog a bone." Said the lightsabers as they fought.
"Woof" Said Chapstick excited about his new bone he got from Space Petsmart.
Suddenly the fighting ceased. All remaining characters in this story froze.
Not so fast. For this is not how my destiny shall be fortolde.
A large purple portal appeared and out walked a man. A man with blue skin and glowing yellow eyes emerged.
Kind Solo from lightyears away felt a disturbance in the force.
It was the god of the force. Brian.
B continue.