A/N - As always thank you for your support and reviews :-). You have no idea what a thrill it is to read reviews to your work and see that people are enjoying what you had written :-). To the guest reviewer with several suggestions, thank you for throwing those in, they were all great :-) but you are right, I have the whole story mapped out and a lot of the future scenes already written... but I hope you will like what's coming up in the next chapters even if it's not what you suggested ;-), I will though include a Callie badass scene at some point, you are right, Arizona needs to see that :-) thank you for suggesting it :-).
CHAPTER 11
At that same time, across the street from the apartment, Callie was having late lunch in the attending's lounge. Nobody else was there and she shifted through the food in her container lost in thoughts when Mark entered nibbling on an apple.
"What's up with you?" Mark asked as he sat down on the opposite chair.
Callie looked up to face Mark. "We had sex…," she informed distantly.
"Right on!" Mark's mouth formed a big grin as he put his hand up for a high five but the clap of Callie's hand never came. "Or not..." Mark mumbled and put his hand down. "What's wrong?"
Callie rearranged the food in front of her again. "I just... I have a bad feeling about this… I should have stopped it…"
"Don't be ridiculous, so you shuffled the sheets a bit, big deal!"
"That's the thing, we didn't shuffle the sheets, it was a morning quickie in the bathroom," Callie explained as she shook her head, "That's not how I wanted it to happen..."
Mark leaned back on his chair and took another bite of his apple. "I'm sure you both enjoyed it."
"It was amazing but that's not the point Mark!"
"You're overthinking Torres, Robbins has been around. Come on, she's had half of the hospital female staff in her bed, I'm sure she's patting her own back for scoring with you this morning."
"Seriously Mark!?" Callie said angrily as she got up, "You really think it's appropriate to mention all the women Arizona slept with that she actually remembers being with!"
"I…" Mark looked at Callie completely puzzled.
"You can be such an ass sometimes," Callie said and walked towards the door.
"Hey, two days ago you told me I wasn't myself, now you insult me when I give you a typical Sloan line? Make up your mind Torres!" he yelled after her and shook his head.
Callie just waved her hand in dismissal and stepped out. She was not in the mood for Mark's stupid comments, nor to think about how Arizona actually really did remember all those other women…, she just didn't remember her… she needed bones, that's always been her best distraction. Or maybe she could get down to the ER and see if they needed some help, ER is almost always overwhelming. Yes, ER, the best choice right now, she thought and headed to the ground floor where she was met with Dr. Bailey as soon as she entered the room.
"Dr. Torres, what are you doing here?" Miranda asked while she was putting some gloves on.
"It's slow on the ortho wing, I thought I could come help out," Callie said as she scanned the room.
Miranda looked at Callie with suspicion, "Right, the attendings don't come voluntarily to the ER Torres. You all prefer to deal with your own specialty research on slow days."
Callie sighed, it was sometimes disturbing how nobody could hide anything from that woman, "Fine, I need a distraction, you want my help or not?"
Miranda simply nodded her head, "Pit 3, 5 and 8… for now…"
"Great!" Callie said with enthusiasm as she grabbed a set of gloves and took the first chart.
It was already almost 6 p.m. when Callie finished her last patient in the ER, she signed the chart and placed it on the stand. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket so she took it out and froze when she saw the name of the message sender.
This is ridiculous, why do I feel nervous, I should feel happy she's sending a message. I should be happy about what happened last night and this morning, it makes no sense to feel nervous, she tried to reason with herself but couldn't make the uneasiness in her abdomen go away. She took a deep breath and tapped on Arizona's name.
~ Hey, I just finished my PT, I'm in the on-call room on floor 2, can you stop by? ~, the message said.
Callie felt like the room around her started spinning, Why do I have a bad feeling about this?, she sighed and quickly typed a reply.
~ Sure, be right there. ~
~ Great, thanks. ~
Arizona was sitting on the bed nervously twisting her fingers, her heart was pounding in her chest, and her stomach was doing somersaults. She stood up and started to pace the room.
When she heard the door open she turned around and met Callie's eyes.
"Hey," Arizona said and couldn't help but smile, God she looks so gorgeous, I just want to pull her in and press my lips against hers again… she thought, focus Robbins, she immediately slapped herself in her mind.
Callie's body relaxed for a moment when she saw Arizona's smile but then immediately tensed as her eyes caught the suitcase next to Arizona's legs. Callie closed her eyes.
"You're leaving…" she whispered her realization out.
"I…," Arizona tried to speak but her voice trembled. Why is this so difficult?, she thought as she swallowed hard.
"Peter thinks I could try working part-time…," she began explaining, "…starting from Wednesday and both Amelia and Bailey agreed to it… I just need to pass the Board's test on Monday morning."
"That's great news!" Callie said smiling broadly, forgetting for a moment that she had just seen a suitcase next to Arizona.
That smile…, Arizona thought and couldn't help but smile as well. "Yeah," she whispered and then her eyes gave out a flash of sadness. "I really need this Callie…"
Callie stayed silent for a few moments as her eyes landed on the suitcase again.
"So you're leaving because…?"
"I need to focus on preparing for this test, I really need to go back to work, I need at least something to go back to normal, I need to feel like me again…"
"You can prepare at home, I can help you out."
Arizona scoffed softly, "Yeah, that wouldn't work…"
"What do you mean it wouldn't work? I'm a doctor too, I can help you prepare for the test!"
"I don't trust…"
"You don't trust me?!" Callie jumped in. "Wow!" she laughed sarcastically.
Arizona's eyes opened wide in surprise, "What?! No, that's not what I was going to say!"
"You said that you don't trust…"
"Me!" Arizona interrupted. "I was going to say I don't trust myself!" she explained quickly.
Callie didn't move, she stared at Arizona who sighed as she ran her hand through her hair.
"I can't stop thinking about you," Arizona said as she raised her hands and shrugged her shoulders in surrender. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you for days… and after this morning all I want to do is just pull you in and kiss you, and take your clothes off and it's exciting… but it's also scary, it's scaring the hell out of me…"
How is it possible that she's saying all these amazing things to me and it's not making me feel any better?, Callie's mind analyzed as she tried to wrap it around Arizona's words.
"Scary…?" Callie repeated.
Arizona sighed heavily, "For me…" she started, "I've known you for a month… and half of it was in the hospital… I like you, I am attracted to you and I want to get to know you better, but we can't live together, Callie. It's too soon for me, I know it is different for you but can you please try to understand, I don't remember our past and even though you see a wife in front of you, a person you've had a whole history with, I see a gorgeous woman who I met a month ago, and who I want to get to know better and see where it goes…"
Callie stayed silent.
"I don't know how to be a wife…" Arizona whispered.
"It's not like it's something you know or learn how to do, you just follow your own feelings, when you're in love you just follow where that love takes you," Callie explained as the realization of her own words settled in and she felt sadness in her heart.
"Yeah," Arizona whispered and looked down, "if this between us was a casual thing it would be easier, but it's not casual, it's a commitment, it's marriage, and there's Sofia, and…"
"And you're not in love with me…" Callie stated matter-of-factly as she felt like she was floating outside of her body. How is this happening? This can't be happening… This morning she was moaning under my touch and now she is leaving…
"I thought we would get closer after this morning…" Callie heard her own voice. "I never thought it would break us apart…" she said as another set of thoughts ran through her head. If only I had known it would cause this, I would have never let it happen… I should have stopped it…
"It is not breaking us apart," Arizona said as her eyes inspected Callie's face.
Callie was staring through Arizona, lost in her thoughts.
"Callie, have you heard what I said?" Arizona asked.
"I should have stopped it…," Callie said out loud.
Arizona looked into Callie's eyes, "Stopped what?" she asked.
"This morning..., I knew it was too soon…"
"I don't regret what happened this morning," Arizona said not averting her eyes from Callie's face.
Callie scoffed, "Right, and yet you're still leaving…"
"I'm leaving because I want to go back to work and I'm afraid that if I stay we'll just spend a lot of time in bed…"
"But spending a lot of time in bed is also freaking you out, no?"
Arizona sighed, "Well yes, can you blame me?"
"It never freaked you out to have all those different women in your bed before," Callie said and immediately regretted her own words.
"What other women?" Arizona asked.
"Never mind, forget I said anything… so where are you going?" Callie quickly tried changing the subject.
"What other women?" Arizona insisted in sterner tone.
Callie sighed, "It's just hard to know that you probably remember all the women from this hospital you've slept with for the fun of it but don't remember me, the woman you fell in love with and got married to, formed a family with…, it's just hard to accept that, you know…"
"Do you think I spend time thinking about those women from my past?" Arizona asked as hurt was audible in her voice. "I just told you that I can't stop thinking about you and you think about my previous sex partners."
"Sorry, it's just something Mark told me that got into my head…"
"What does Mark have to do with all this?" Arizona asked now completely puzzled.
"Nothing, I'm sorry, I just…"
"Callie, do you have issues with my past? The women I slept with…" Arizona asked.
"I did, but I let go of it… but now…" Callie let out a scoff mixed with laughter, "Well it's not like there's a manual on how to deal with your wife's past when that exact past suddenly seems more to her like her present than all the years you shared with her…"
Arizona sighed as her guard softened a bit. "I don't think about any of those women, you know why? Because I did not feel anything special with them, it was casual, but I married you, so clearly I felt something special for you. I just need a bit of time to remember what that special something is..."
Callie smiled sadly and sighed. "So where are you going?"
"I remembered Alex mentioned a big house one of those nights when he came to my room in hospital, so I called and asked if he would rent out a room to me."
Callie nodded her head. "Well he's the best one to practice with for your test anyway."
"I would have preferred you actually but you're just too hot," Arizona teased hoping she would manage to at least alleviate the moment a little bit.
Callie laughed and felt her body relax just a tad.
"Can I call you? To check how you're doing, ask about Sofia?" Arizona asked as she held her breath.
"Sure," Callie said and placed her hands inside her pockets. Is this really goodbye?, she wondered.
"Okay," Arizona whispered and suddenly felt a heavy load in her chest. She considered walking over and wrapping her arms around Callie as she imagined getting lost in those lips again.
"Okay, well, I have to go, good luck on Monday," Callie quickly said and grabbed the door handle.
Is this it? Arizona thought, We're not even going to hug? Maybe it would be too confusing, she thought as she heard Callie's voice again.
"Okay, see you around then," she said and started opening the door.
"Calliope," Arizona heard her own voice and watched Callie stop her movement.
"Yeah…" Callie said in a barely audible whisper as she suddenly felt Arizona's hand pull on her left arm.
She turned around and felt Arizona's arms around her own body, and her own arms immediately wrapped around Arizona as if they had a mind of their own.
"Take good care of Sofia," Arizona spoke as her voice trembled. "I'll make sure to stop by the daycare as much as I can and spend time with her until we figure out how to do all this."
God, I can't do this, Callie thought and suddenly felt a rush of tears start to flood her eyes.
"Sure," Callie said as she quickly left Arizona's embrace and walked out of the room.
Arizona kept on standing in the same spot for a few minutes, not moving, feeling immensely sad and confused. She shook her head and wiped off the tears that had developed in her eyes. "Let's focus on that test and then I'll figure other things out," she said with determination and took her suitcase before she went out of the room and towards the peds ward to find Alex.
LATER THAT EVENING
Callie let her body slump on the sofa as she brought the glass of wine to her lips. Sofia had finally stopped crying when Mark came and played with her to stop her from calling her mama through tears. Callie knew it didn't help that she herself was feeling so damn emotional and Sofia could definitely feel it. Luckily she had missed Mark too because it had been a while since he tucked her into bed, so when he came she was happy to have her dada there. Callie sighed heavily and took a big gulp of her wine.
"She's asleep," Mark said and sat down next to Callie.
"God I really thought those days of Sofia calling her mama were behind us and that everything was gonna go back to normal," she said as she let her head lean back on the sofa.
Mark sighed and squeezed Callie's knee, "She'll come around, it's understandable she needs to hold on to something and right now starting work on Wednesday is the only thing she can hold on to. Besides, she told you she can't stay because you're too hot and will distract her preparation, so how about you focus on that?"
Callie laughed softly, "Thank you Mark, it's not that simple though."
"But it is that simple Torres," he said as he turned towards her. "Let's take a different perspective at this, imagine she's this new chick you met a month ago and you really liked her. Well, you have already spent a lot of time with her, have shared a bed with her, had your arms around her, had a date with her, and you have had sex, and now she told you that she can't stop thinking about you. So the way I see it, she's already started falling for you, you are just too hung up on wanting your wife back. Start treating her like a hot chick that you would really like to stick around for a bit longer and you will feel different."
"Hmm, well when you put it that way…"
"Feels much better right?" Mark asked with a smile.
"Yeah it does," Callie said as her phone buzzed with a message. She took the phone and smiled.
"It's Arizona, she's asking how we are doing," Callie informed and started typing a reply when Mark pulled the phone out of her hands.
"Mark! What the hell? Give me my phone back!" Callie protested.
"Nope! You're gonna play it cool tonight. I will take your phone until you fall asleep and then in the morning you will reply to her and say that everything is great and apologize because you fell asleep early."
"Mark, I don't wanna play games…"
"Can you trust me on this please? I've been her, now I know you don't like me mentioning her past but her past suggests that she doesn't like feeling like someone is suffocating her, and this whole situation has probably started suffocating her. So right now she's just catching a breath but soon she will realize that she can't breathe without you, and she will only realize that if you slow down. I'm telling you, play it cool and she will come to you, let her come to you Callie."
Callie looked at Mark with squinted eyes, "You're being weird again! Is this what it's going to be like from now on? One day you'll be your old self and then you'll be this weird romantic version that is a bit creepy I must say."
Mark laughed out loud, "Oh Torres, you and Robbins had told me so many times to just let go, open up and fall in love, remember that?"
Callie chuckled, "Yeah, I remember…"
"I have found her Callie, I have found the one, I don't want anyone else, I want Lexie, Lexie is my one, Arizona is yours, so let her come to you or you might lose her. You told me the other day to slow down with Lexie or I will lose her and you were right, so I've slowed down and now I'm just happy to be able to spend every day with her. So listen to your own advice and slow down."
Callie thought for a few moments as she sipped on her wine, "Okay, fine, I'll try… now give me my phone back and go home, I'm going to bed," Callie said as she put her palm out.
"Oh no, no, I told you that your phone stays with me until you fall asleep," Mark said as he raised his hand high up, holding Callie's phone.
"Are you serious?" Callie asked with annoyance.
"Yep, off to bed you go, night-night," Mark said as he took the TV remote control.
"This is ridiculous, I will not send her a message," Callie protested.
"Exactly because I'll make sure you don't. You can thank me tomorrow Torres, when you wake up to another message from her in the morning."
Callie rolled her eyes, "Whatever," she mumbled as she went into the bedroom. She looked around and sighed, "I have not thought this through…" she mumbled. The room still smelled of Arizona. Callie closed her eyes and let her senses embrace all of traces of Arizona. She got under the covers and stared at the empty pillow next to her.
"Mark," Callie called.
"Yeah, what's up?"
"The bed smells like her…"
"Good, so close your eyes and imagine her there with you, wrapping your arm around her and you will fall asleep."
"What kind of a method is that? I'm just gonna make myself feel miserable," Callie protested.
"That's what I've been doing every night since the crash, and it works, I would just imagine Lexie in my arms and I would calm down and fall asleep. Try it Torres."
Callie sighed and closed her eyes, she imagined Arizona's body next to her and imagined wrapping her arm around it. At the beginning it was hard to play this trick on her own mind, but as her body started to relax more and drift off to sleep Arizona's body leaning onto her felt more and more real, until finally a soft smile decorated her face and her breath evened out.
###
On the other side of the city, Arizona was lying in bed wide awake, staring at the ceiling, she knew it didn't make any sense to take her phone and look again because her phone had not buzzed and on one of those first nights at the hospital Callie had explained to her why they had disabled the message read receipt option.
"It's so liberating when you don't check your phone to see if the person you sent the message to has read it or not, your brain does not have the option to start freaking out because the message was read but the reply is not coming. This way I just send a message and don't care if it was read or not, and when. And they will reply whenever they feel like it."
"So I also agreed to this?" Arizona asked with doubt.
"Yes, you did, come on, you'll see it's liberating," Callie encouraged and Arizona accepted to give it a try.
But now, lying in bed, Arizona wished Callie had the option turned on because she was dying to know if Callie had read the message and was ignoring her or she had simply fallen asleep. Maybe Sofia was crying and keeping her awake, Arizona thought as sadness and guilt started overwhelming her. She sighed, "These thoughts are just gonna make me feel worse…," she whispered and turned to the side. She tried to fall asleep but sleep wouldn't come to her eyes, so she tossed and turned all night until in the early hours of the morning she finally took her phone again.
~ Is everything okay? You haven't replied to my message last night…, well you probably just fell asleep…, sorry I'm just a bit worried about Sofia… please let me know how she's doing. ~
Arizona moved her alarm to half an hour later and pulled the cover over her head hoping to finally manage to get at least a little bit of sleep.
SATURDAY
Callie woke up early in the morning, she reached for her phone and when she couldn't find it on the nightstand she opened her eyes trying to remember if she had put it on the charger. She sat up and then remembered the conversation with Mark the night before. She got out of bed and walked into the living room. Mark had fallen asleep on the sofa and Callie thought of Sofia who would be thrilled to have him here when she wakes up. She smiled and took her phone from the table. She turned it on and saw a new message from Arizona, she smiled and let out a puff of air, "Well what do you know, he was right," she whispered.
"Of course I was," Mark mumbled as he stretched his arms. "What did she say?"
Callie clicked on the message.
"Wow, she sent it at 4 a.m.," Callie said in surprise.
"Looks like someone's had a sleepless night," Mark commented smugly.
"Maybe she was studying late," Callie said as she read the message.
"Or maybe she was wondering why you were not answering her message," Mark added and sat up. "So what did she say?" he asked again.
"She asked if everything was okay, and said she was worried about Sofia, asked me to let her know if she was okay."
"Uh-huh," Mark said with a chuckle.
"Mark, she really most probably was worried about Sofia, it's not like she doesn't care, she has gotten to really love Sofia in the short period of time that she's known her."
"I'm not saying she's not worried about Sofia, I'm just saying she also wanted to hear from you."
"She didn't say that," Callie said and shook her head not willing to let herself hope too much.
"Read between the lines Torres…" Mark said and got up, "I'm gonna go home and have a shower and I'll come back for breakfast with Sofia."
"Okay," Callie nodded her head and started typing a reply.
"Don't go overboard with the message, just a short dry one - Hey, sorry, fell asleep, everything is fine - full stop," Mark instructed.
"See you later Mark," Callie said as she continued to type.
"Don't come complaining to me later when she's staying away because you've been too clingy," Mark commented before he stepped out.
Callie sighed and reread her message, Hey, sorry, yeah fell asleep early, everything is fine, we both missed you last night… she thought about it again and then deleted the last six words before she hit sent.
An hour and a half later, Arizona's alarm filled the room and she opened her eyes reluctantly. It took her a few moments to remember where she was as she scanned her surroundings. She let out a long sigh and took her phone. She stopped the alarm and then checked her messages. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Callie had replied.
~ Hey, sorry, yeah fell asleep early, everything is fine. ~
Arizona read the message again. That's a bit dry, she thought when she heard a knock on her door.
"Yes?" Arizona called and Alex popped his head in, "Come on Robbins we're ready to start practicing, you need to pass that test because I need you back!"
Arizona laughed, "Wow, you're even more excited about this than I am, it's nice to have you motivating me."
"Oh wait till you see who will pretend to be the Board member questioning you, we couldn't have gotten a better deal!"
"Oh, you got someone else to come over here on a weekend?"
"She doesn't have to come over, she lives here. I forgot to tell you yesterday but Cristina moved back to Seattle on Thursday and she's renting one of the rooms as well. And she's excited to play Board exam so come on!"
Arizona laughed wholeheartedly at Alex's enthusiasm, "Okay, I'll be right there," she said and looked at the ceiling, "It was a good decision to come here," she whispered and looked at her phone again.
~ Glad to hear that :-), I have just woken up and will go downstairs to practice for the exam. Apparently Cristina came back and moved in on Thursday so she'll pretend to be a member of the Board :-). ~
She sent the message and then started typing more but then saw that Callie was typing as well and her heart started beating faster, just seeing Callie online at the same time she felt happy and excited. She waited for Callie's reply to arrive.
~ Cristina is back!? It's great she wants to help, she's the best to drill you with the questions. ~
~ Yeah, Alex said I couldn't have gotten a better deal. ~ Arizona
~ Haha, true, she will be tough but that's what you need. ~ Callie
~ So how are you doing? I hope Sofia didn't cry last night. ~
~I'm fine, she did cry for a bit but then Mark came by and played with her so she was happy.~
Arizona smiled even though a lump formed in her throat. Mark was there with them…, she thought as a weird feeling came over her and another message from Callie arrived.
I have to go get ready because Mark is taking us on a boat cruise, he hasn't spent much time with Sofia lately so he wants to make up for it.
~ Okay, yeah, I have to go start practicing anyway. Will you please give Sofia a kiss for me? ~
~ Sure :-). Have a great study day! ~
~ Thank you, enjoy your day with Mark. ~
Arizona read her own last sentence again and closed her eyes. I shouldn't be jealous of him, right?, she thought as she heard Cristina yell from downstairs.
"Robbins, get your butt down here! Are we doing this or not!?"
Arizona laughed, well she sure sounds like fun, she thought.
"Coming!" she yelled back and got up.
When Arizona came down she was surprised to see the petite woman in front of her.
"You sounded much scarier than you look," she said as she extended her hand. "Nice to finally put a face to the name."
Cristina laughed hysterically as she kept on looking at Arizona.
"What are you doing? Are you joking?" she looked at Arizona's hand then at Alex and asked, "Is she joking?"
Alex shook his head with a serious expression on his face and Cristina's face immediately lost the smile.
"Seriously?" she asked looking back at Arizona's hand and then at her face.
"Yeah, I heard about you, but I don't really remember ever meeting you," Arizona explained, her hand still extended.
Cristina finally shook her hand, "How is this possible…" she said, "I mean I know medically how it is possible but it is so weird."
"Yeah, tell me about it," Arizona replied and circled the table.
"It's just, you're still the same person as you've always been…" Cristina said in awe.
"Yeah, so I've been told, shall we do this?"
"Right, umm… yeah… sure," Cristina said with hesitation.
"Now don't go easy on me because you feel sorry for my memory loss," Arizona commented and Cristina immediately smiled.
"You're right, okay I will hit you hard then!"
"Good," Arizona smiled back as she sat down.
They practiced for three hours before deciding to take a break at noon and have some brunch. It was nice and sunny so they went outside into the yard.
"So, what's the deal with Callie and Mark?" Arizona asked nonchalantly as she nibbled on some cheese.
"Ah, the amount of times those two occupied the on-call room was annoying," Cristina commented rolling her eyes. "But honestly, they looked really hot together, you know, Callie is like pure Latin fire and Mark is just, well he's like the sex God of the hospital."
"So they were together?" Arizona asked as she felt like her lungs started missing air.
"They were never together together," Alex said and gave Cristina a questioning whatta hell look. "They just screwed you know, I think Callie just wanted to forget about George, I could never understand what she saw in George anyway, and plus he was an ass to her," Alex said as he looked into the sky, "may you rest in peace."
"George? Who is George?" Arizona asked with a confused expression on her face.
Fuck! Alex cursed in his head as he heard Cristina speak.
"Callie's ex-husband," Cristina said casually, "who cheated on her with his best friend Izzy, and she then later, ended up marrying him," she added as she pointed her finger at Alex.
"Yeah, let's not go there, besides I don't think we should be telling you any of this."
"Oh right! Crap! Your amnesia!" Cristina screamed, "Um, yeah, we should keep our mouths shut."
"Callie was married before? To a man? And her husband died?" Arizona asked as her jaw dropped.
"Umm, well, yeah, they were already divorced when he died and you were already in the picture at that time, weren't you?" Cristina asked as she looked at Arizona.
Alex shook his head, "Yang, you really suck at this talking to a person with amnesia thing!"
"Crap! Right, you're right! Anyway, Callie and George, it was a short marriage, just a few months. So let's talk about the other cases you need to go through for Monday," she suggested as she took another bite of the food.
Arizona nodded her head but found it hard not to think about Callie being married before, to a man, and now she was spending the day with the proclaimed sex God of the hospital who she already had sex with. Yeah, it's gonna be hard to focus on work this afternoon, she thought as she closed her eyes and dropped her head back allowing the sun to caress her face and hopefully brighten up her mood.
Later in the afternoon when they took another break, Arizona couldn't stop herself from sending another message to Callie.
~ So how's your day going? Is Sofia enjoying the boat ride? ~
A few minutes later her phone buzzed and Arizona immediately opened the message.
~ She's having a blast! ~, the message said accompanied by an image of Sofia giggling in Mark's arms.
Arizona felt a knot in her abdomen and turned off her screen as Alex walked into the kitchen.
"Come on the break is over, one more round, can you handle it?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, let's do it!" Arizona said as she pushed herself off the chair and headed back to the living room.
###
It was almost 10 p.m. when Arizona came to bed exhausted from the long day and lack of sleep the night before.
The amount of practice she did with Alex and Cristina was amazing and she was grateful that she had their help. She was looking forward to the next round they had planned for Sunday too and it seemed both Alex and Cristina enjoyed the practice as well. She took her phone and saw another message from Callie that arrived later in the afternoon.
~ How did your preparation go? ~
Arizona wished she could talk to Callie and tell her all about her day but she didn't dare to call, so instead she typed a long message.
~ Hey, sorry for the late reply, we had another round from 4 to 8 pm then had dinner and I am now in bed, completely exhausted. It went really well, we did three rounds, and have covered so many things. We will continue tomorrow, and both Alex and Cristina seemed to enjoy it quite a lot so I'm lucky to have them helping me. Hope you've had a nice day. ~
Arizona sent the message and sighed. She set the alarm for the next morning, then placed her phone on the nightstand and closed her eyes. She dozed off and didn't know how much time had passed when the buzz from her phone made her open her eyes. She reached for it and looked at the newest message.
~ That's really great, I'm glad Alex and Cristina are helping you out. It was a nice day, Sofia was really happy. ~
Did she miss me? Arizona typed and then deleted the message.
"It's not fair to ask that when I'm the reason she needs cheering up," she whispered to herself.
She spent a few minutes trying to come up with the right thing to say as her eyes fought to stay open. In the end her phone slipped from her fingers and landed next to her body as sleep won the battle against her eyes.
SUNDAY
On Sunday they didn't have a chance to exchange many messages, Arizona replied in the morning explaining that she was so tired that she fell asleep with the phone in her hands. She wrote that she was glad to hear Sofia was happy and then Callie replied wishing her a great day of studying.
During the lunch break, Arizona took her phone and decided to ask Callie to meet her for lunch the next day. Two hours passed and there was still no reply from Callie. Arizona took her phone and opened the conversation as if it was possible that a message arrived but did not show up in the notifications. She was reading their conversation trying her best not to think about Callie and Sofia spending another nice day with Mark when Alex's and Cristina's pagers started buzzing.
"Oh crap, this seems big!" Alex said as he got up from his chair.
"Yep, sorry Robbins, you'll have to revise by yourself!"
"Sure, no problem, thank you so much for helping me!" Arizona yelled as she watched them leave.
Once alone in the house her thoughts immediately went to Callie again.
"She was probably paged as well and that's why she hasn't replied," she said out loud as if trying to soothe her own thoughts. She sighed and walked back to the living room. She still had so many things to go over.
Arizona spent the rest of the day revising the cases and during dinner she finally felt like she was ready for the test. Alex and Cristina hadn't come back yet and Arizona wondered if Callie was also still at the hospital and if Sofia had to go to the hospital daycare. Her phone suddenly buzzed and she saw a message from Callie. She felt her body immediately react with excitement and opened the message with a smile.
~ Sorry, I got called in around noon, there was some big crash outside of Seattle and then later in the afternoon a bus crashed downtown and we were swamped so everybody got called in. I saw Karev, he said you were amazing with the preparation for the test. That's really great! :-) I'm sure you'll do perfect tomorrow! ~
Arizona started typing back but then another message from Callie arrived.
~ Oh about lunch, sorry I can't, with the today's accidents I have several surgeries scheduled for tomorrow, and one is during lunch time. ~
Arizona read the message and then modified her reply.
~ Oh, too bad about lunch, well hopefully we can meet soon. I really feel confident about tomorrow. How is Sofia doing? ~
~ She's fine, I'm about to put her to bed. Let me know how it goes tomorrow. ~ Callie
~ Yeah, I will. ~ Arizona
~ Goodnight. ~ Callie
Arizona stared at the message in front of her, desperately wishing their conversation would last longer.
~ Goodnight ~, she finally typed as well and walked to her room.
MONDAY MORNING
"Well done Dr. Robbins!" Miranda said as she pulled Arizona in for a hug, "I will see you on Wednesday!"
Arizona smiled feeling like she was floating between a dream and a reality. Was this really happening?, she thought as she felt Amelia's hand around her waist.
"Come on, we need to go over a few things what to do if you start feeling like something is wrong," she explained as she lead Arizona towards the door.
"Right, yes," Arizona nodded her head feeling it start getting hold of the reality.
They walked out of the board room and Arizona stepped away from the door and leaned against the wall.
"Let me just let Callie know," she said as she took her phone.
Amelia smiled and nodded her head, "Sure," she said when Alex appeared walking down the hallway.
"So? How did it go?" he yelled across the hall.
"She aced it!" Amelia informed with a broad smile and suddenly Arizona felt her body being pulled into a tight embrace.
"I knew it! Well done!"
"Thanks Alex," Arizona smiled as she put the phone back into her pocket. "What are you doing here anyway, didn't you have a day off?," she asked starting to walk towards the elevator with them.
"I got paged but I'm almost done, I just need to do a few more things and then I'm off. You know what!? I can take some charts and we can go over them this afternoon, so you can familiarize yourself with our cases for this week and then on Wednesday you can just cruise in, what do you say?"
"Yeah, that would be great," Arizona said with a broad smile.
"Great! And we'll celebrate in the evening!"
"Oh, we don't have to…" Arizona started.
"Nonsense! You should relax a bit! Have fun! Let loose! Right Amelia?"
Amelia laughed, "Well it might do you good to relax a bit and just have fun."
"See, doctor's orders!" Alex said clapping his hands as he pushed the elevator button.
Arizona laughed, "Okay," she said as the door to the elevator opened. She looked up and froze as her heart started beating faster meeting the gaze of those beautiful dark brown orbs.
"Callie… hi," she whispered.
"She aced her test!" Alex informed with enthusiasm.
Arizona caught the sadness that clouded Callie's eyes before she masked it with a sincere smile.
"That's great Arizona, congratulations!"
"Thank you, I was gonna ca..." Arizona started explaining but was interrupted by Alex again.
"It's so exciting! We can finally get the peds department on its feet!" Alex added as he and Amelia stepped into the elevator and Callie stepped out.
Arizona stood by the door and pressed her hand against it to prevent it from closing.
"How are you?" Arizona asked not taking her eyes off of Callie.
"I'm fine…" Callie mumbled with a fake smile.
"Do you have a moment? I'd like to talk to you," Arizona said.
"I can't now, I have a surgery in twenty minutes," Callie explained.
"Okay, later then?" Arizona asked.
"Yeah, maybe," Callie replied in low voice.
"Okay, well let me know when you can…" Arizona said.
"Sure," Callie nodded her head and turned around.
Arizona observed Callie's body language and she knew what was wrong and all she wanted to do was catch her lips and tell her that she was the first person she wanted to call and inform about the board's decision, and tell her how much she missed her over the weekend and how she wanted to ask so many things about Sofia…
"Come on Robbins! In or out," she heard Alex's voice which prompted her to direct her head to him.
"Okay, I'm coming," she said and when she turned back towards Callie she was already gone. Arizona sighed and stepped inside the elevator.
"So what's the plan now?" Alex asked.
"Well, we need to go through a few scenarios of what might happen if she starts feeling unwell, and what Arizona needs to do if that occurs."
"That sounds serious…," Karev commented.
"It's just a precaution, most probably nothing will happen but I'd prefer we prepare for everything," Amelia explained.
"Okay," Alex turned to Arizona, "So come find me when you're done, I'll wait for you on the peds wing."
"Deal, see you later then," Arizona said as she stepped off the elevator with Amelia.
At the end of the hallway they were standing in just a few moments ago, Callie was walking slowly with her eyes closed. No, I will not cry, I'm done being emotional about all this, she protested mentally and opened her eyes. She took a deep breath as she crossed the bridge and headed to the other part of the hospital. It's a good thing I have a surgery scheduled, she thought and forced herself to start repeating the surgery procedure in her mind.
LATER THAT EVENING
"I can't tell you how happy I am you are coming back to work! To your aced test," Alex said as he lifted his beer bottle.
"Thank you, Alex," Arizona smiled broadly and clinked her ginger ale glass against Alex's beer, and then Jackson and April joined with their glasses as well.
"We're gonna rule the hospital on Wednesday!" Alex said and Arizona laughed wholeheartedly.
"Who would have thought you two would be so excited to work together again," April commented and felt Jackson nudge her with his shoulder.
"I think it's great!" Jackson exclaimed to cover for any additional question that might trigger an awkward conversation. "And I hope you will stop roaming the hospital with your cases Karev, it's a bit creepy you know, during the night shift, wherever I go there you are, sitting at a table, reading your files. Sometimes I feel like you're following me around," Jackson teased.
"Why do you change the rooms so much?" Karev asked grateful that Jackson stopped April's slip from going any further.
"I'm trying to find a lounge free from your presence, but you always seem to find me," Jackson continued to tease.
"Well, who knows maybe I am actually looking for you all the time, just to spook you," Alex said and they all laughed loudly.
Arizona felt relaxed and happy. This was a good idea, come for a drink to the bar, she thought as she suddenly felt someone's gaze on her body and she turned her head. She stopped breathing when she saw Callie on the other side of the room, staring at her, her eyes giving out hurt and anger and a lot of sadness. Arizona smiled softly but Callie's face didn't respond, instead Arizona watched her walk towards the exit. She quickly put the glass on the bar counter.
"I'll be right back," she said and rushed after Callie. When she stepped outside Callie was already a few steps ahead so Arizona called after her.
"Callie, wait! Please."
Callie wanted to get out of there, she didn't want to face Arizona right now, she kept on walking and when she heard Arizona call again,
"Calliope, please talk to me," Callie's legs betrayed her and stopped on their own.
Arizona caught up with her a bit out of breath.
"Callie, are you okay?"
Callie stood there, her back to Arizona and she thought about what to do now, pretend everything was great or tell her how she really felt.
"No, you know what, I'm not okay!" she said as she turned around. "You don't know them either! You don't remember them, yet you are so relaxed and you are laughing with them!"
"Alex suggested we should go celebrate and relax a bit and Amelia agreed it would be good for me…" Arizona tried explaining.
"You used to be like that with me..." Callie said with misty eyes and Arizona felt like her heart was breaking watching this amazing woman feel so many things for her and because of her.
"I'm sorry..." she whispered not really knowing what else she could say at that moment.
"You know what hurts the most…" Callie continued.
Arizona shook her head, not daring to say anything.
"You didn't even let me know you passed the test…"
"I was going to, the minute I stepped out of the board room I took my phone and was gonna call you and then Alex appeared and distracted me and then we walked to the elevator and you appeared and…, and he told you…"
"Yeah, he told me…" Callie whispered with pain in her voice.
"I'm sorry…" Arizona whispered again.
Callie scoffed, "Sorry, that's the only thing you seem to have to say to me," Callie spoke with a voice of defeat.
"I… I don't know what you would want me to say?" Arizona replied, How about I miss you, how about I keep on thinking about you and Sofia, how about… Arizona's head did a monologue of its own when she heard Callie's voice again.
"Forget it! I have to go home to Sofia and put her to bed. Maria is babysitting her, enjoy your single life…," Callie said and walked away quickly.
"Callie...," Arizona tried but Callie strode towards the traffic lights and didn't look back.
Arizona stood there for a few moments wondering why she didn't say any of the things she wanted to say to Callie. It was like a part of her wanted to wrap her arms around Callie and tell her everything she felt and another part kept on holding her back, not allowing her arms to take distance from her own body and take a new position around Callie's waist.
Arizona sighed heavily and walked back inside.
"What happened?" April asked noticing that Arizona was a bit distracted and lost in thoughts.
"Nothing," Arizona shook her head and took a sip of her drink. She closed her eyes and suddenly emotions began overwhelming her as she felt tears start to develop behind her eyelids.
"Excuse me," she quickly said and placed her drink back on the counter, "I'll just go freshen up a bit," she added and walked towards the bathroom. Once inside, she sighed heavily and leaned against the sink. Everything is so messed up, why do I have so many conflicting feelings about her? A part of me wants to kiss her and another part keeps on saying 'No, don't do that!'
She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples and then suddenly grabbed the sink as a wave of dizziness hit her body. She suddenly saw Callie standing in front of that same sink, her back leaning against it, with a tissue in her hands, clearly upset. She saw Callie's face appear closer and closer to her own eyes and then she felt her own body lean forward. She placed her right hand on Callie's cheek and let their lips meet.
Arizona opened her eyes. "Did that happen?" she said out loud and looked around. This feels different somehow, she thought and then rushed out of the bathroom.
"Alex," Arizona immediately addressed him as she approached the group, "did Callie have bangs?"
"Did she what?"
"Her hair, has she ever had bangs on her forehead?"
"How would I know? Do I look like someone who pays attention to people's hair?" Alex replied shrugging his shoulders. "Kepner, do you remember anything like that?" he asked.
"Well, I met her two years ago and during this time I don't remember ever seeing her with bangs, why?"
"I think I remembered something...," Arizona whispered.
"Really?! What?" Alex asked when Meredith approached and interrupted their conversation.
"Alex, where's Cristina? I need to talk to her?"
Arizona turned to her, "Meredith! Has Callie ever had bangs on her forehead?"
"Umm, yeah, three years ago, she tried it for a few months then dropped the look," Meredith said as she turned back to Alex. "Do you know where Cristina is?"
"She said she would be doing some research in the lab," Alex said as he looked at Arizona.
Three years… so it might be a memory, she said we've been together for three years… thoughts were now racing through Arizona's head.
"Arizona?" Alex asked as Arizona grabbed her jacket and her bag.
"I need to find Callie..." Arizona mumbled and left the bar in a rush.
"Robbins! Where are you going!?" Alex yelled after her but Arizona did not look back. She needed to see Callie, she needed to tell her about this and find out if it was something she remembered. This can't be a fantasy, it doesn't feel like a fantasy, her mind kept on racing as she rushed across the street lost in thoughts.
She hadn't even noticed the red light that was illuminating the crosswalk when a horn from a car made her run faster and she felt the wind of the car that drove behind her on her back. She crossed the street and stopped in her tracks. She placed her hand over her heart grateful that the car managed to avoid her and feeling lucky there was no other car from the opposite direction. She closed her eyes briefly when a loud sound of screeching tires filled the street on the other side and all of a sudden another scene flooded her mind.
She saw Callie sitting next to her in a car and a single sentence she heard herself say while looking at Callie occupied her thoughts.
She opened her eyes and started running again towards Callie's apartment as her own words "Marry me…," rang in her head.
A/N – Ohkay, now that was a lot of stuff happening all in one chapter… Was that too much, are you breathing? ;-)