Love of a Stranger

Ob1MegOb1

Chapter 30

(Erik)

"Two days!" I said incredulously staring at her.

"Two days," she said softly, "now you understand why I thought…well what I thought."

I sat back on the surprised, "I don't think I've slept that much in my entire life."

She looked at me surprised, "Are you serious?"

"Oh my dear after all the things that I have done in my life you know that sleep doesn't come easy anymore. I am more of an insomniac then I would like to admit."

And because I was not used to this much sleep my whole body felt sluggish and heavy. Well the poison probably hadn't helped with that either.

"I see you haven't had much sleep on the otherhand," I said reaching forward and gently fingering the dark circles under her eyes.

She was looking down, "I just didn't want to be asleep if…"

"Sshh," I said quickly, "we are past that now. Enough about me, you need to start thinking about yourself now. And that starts with sleep."

"Erik," she said laughing.

"I'm serious Jasmine," I said simply, "you need to stay healthy for your sake and the child's. And I can't stand to lose either of you now."

Her eyes were calculating something I could tell. And I found myself once again going over everything I had said as I usually did with her. "You've seen it before," she muttered, "you know of somebody who died from childbirth…and the child as well?"

I shook my head, "I didn't see it. But I know the father it affected, and while he may not have lost his child at birth…he did lose him eventually to complications. He loved that child with all his heart…but losing both of them…I don't think he ever fully recovered. So Jas," I said grabbing her hand, "just indulge my worrying. Please."

She shook her head rolling her eyes, "And for some reason I hadn't pegged you as the worried father type." Before I could retort though she said, "Alright…I do feel tired. It would be nice to rest for a little bit."

"Thank you," I said smiling.

"Yeah yeah wouldn't want your heart to stop from all the stress old man," she muttered teasingly curling into my arms. I rolled my eyes but ignored it as she finally closed her eyes and her breathing slowed to that of sleep. Hopefully she would actually sleep now and not be so worried about me. Now it was a matter of me falling asleep. Which probably wasn't going to happen.

"You're both pathetic," a drowsy voice said beside us. I rolled my eyes looking over at William who was looking at me through half closed eyes on the couch. Rebecca still curled up in his arms. "Go to sleep dammit," he muttered his eyes closing again.

I sighed agreeing with him, for once. I was exhausted from everything. And there was a lot to prepare for in the coming months. And God knows when we were going to get a good night's sleep again.

(Jasmine – 5 months later)

It was a weird feeling….it had been a weird feeling for the past five months. First of all, I was still with Erik and there had been no events since that day when he had been poisoned. And still him and William were trying to get passage out of the country away from all of this. And I…well I was kept hidden in the house.

But as I grazed my now showing belly I began to understand why. Erik was worried and concerned about our safety. If people found out I was carrying his child he felt it might go over badly and create more problems then it was worth. I didn't want to agree with him…and yet deep down I found myself doing so anyway. I had been the victim of people's hatred too many times know too. It was an unfortunate side effect of me and Erik's and it was starting to leak in more then I wanted. I didn't want our child to grow up hating the world…just to be apart of it. And I would travel anywhere to make sure of that.

I closed my eyes trying to relax as the child shifted beneath my fingertips. It seemed like this child was always moving, and kicking. Which caused uncomfortableness and sleepless nights and my back was always aching and yes it went on. But as I felt those familiar hands slide onto mine I couldn't help but smile. It was still so hard to believe that all of this was coming true…things I would never have expected to happen.

"You okay?" he asked softly kissing my hand.

"I'm fine," I said simply, "just tired. This child is restless…must get that from you."

He chuckled, "Very funny." I felt his hands gently graze my stomach and then his gentle lips as he kissed the top of my belly. He kept his ear close as he did and he gently began to sing and I could feel the child move as he did. I smiled happy to see that the child found a great love in his father's voice.

Erik got up now laying beside me his hand still lingering on my belly. "Jasmine," he said hesitantly, "Nadir brought up again your confinement in a month or so."

I sat up annoyed, "No we are not discussing this again," I said irritably.

"It is for your safety and the baby's," he said calmly.

"Erik, it is bad enough that I am cooped up in this house all day long, you will not confine me when I will quite frankly be at my largest, and most restless. It likes when I move around and am exposed to others. So no Erik its not happening."

He grabbed my arm, "I know how you feel…"

I yanked it away frustrated, "Really? Please don't say that when you have no idea Erik. Your back's not aching, you're not starving all the time, you are not nauseous at the smell of certain things. I love you and this child but please don't make this harder then it already is I beg of you."

I felt his hands on the side of my face and he was sshing me quietly, "Alright alright I'm sorry. You're right I don't know, and I don't want to make this harder on you. Fine no confinement," I started to say thank you but he stopped me, "but if anything starts to not feel right -"

"Its straight to bed for me," I said smiling. "Fine. That I can agree to."

He gently kissed me on the cheek, "Thank you."

(Erik)

I hated asking her to do something she obviously didn't want to do but their safety was much more important now. The child was big enough to feel beneath my fingertips when I touched her stomach. This was real and this was happening.

"You okay?" Jasmine asked gently touching my hand. I looked up catching my reflection in the mirror when I did. I saw myself and yet there were flashes of a young man screaming at the mirror. Shattering the mirror to pieces after seeing his reflection for the first time.

"Erik?" she asked her again her gaze so piercing for being blind.

"Sorry," I muttered composing myself, "I was just thinking about something."

She gripped my hand, "Do you need to talk?"

I wanted to I really wanted to. I told her briefly about my family but nothing in detail. This was something though that had come to define me, destroy me, however you wanted to view it. And I was afraid its impact on me being a parent. "Yes," I said slowly, "but I need to collect my thoughts before I do."

She smiled, "Take your time. We can talk whenever you are ready."

I smiled gently kissing her on the forehead, "How am I so lucky?" I gently traced her cheek with my finger. She only smiled as she walked out the door. I leaned back against the wall trying to think of how I was going to tell her. I sighed she needed to know why I was nervous and I would tell her.

(Jasmine – Later that Night)

He had been contemplative and to himself again today. We had an understanding though that when these things happened we gave each other space until the other was ready to talk. Of course if he took too long I tended to prod a little. But this time…I knew it was different.

I went to our room and gently knocked on the door. Why I was knocking I don't know but I felt like I needed to. No answer though and I started to walk away. But at the last minute, "Come in. You don't need to knock to enter your own room." I rolled my eyes at that.

It was quiet in the room except for the sound of the curtains rustling in front of me. There was a slight breeze in the room but that was enough to tell me where he was. I walked over to the window putting my hand on his arm. Erik liked to sit on the window sill sometimes and let the breeze hit him. He said it helped to cool him off and think about things that were hard to think about.

"You haven't been here in a while," I said simply.

I felt him stir but he didn't move from the window sill. "Do you believe the past truly defines who we are? That the people who raised us have complete influence over our lives?"

I sighed, "I think they are stepping stones and guide posts along the way. Can I say that if I had been in my parents shoes I would have made the same decisions? I am a combination of many different experiences….experiences that are completely different then my parents. So are you. We are not exact copies of the people who created us…no matter how hard they or other people may try to make us."

He sighed, "I just can't stop thinking…do I really want to raise this child? Who am I to even considereing raising a child. I have killed people, tortured people…"

I interrupted him, "But that's not what's bothering you. We have talked about this a thousand times already. This is something else."

He gently squeezed my hand, "So perceptive as usual." He was silent for a few moments before finally saying, "I was five years old. It was a birthday party and my mom had a cloth mask she forced me to wear for outings. But I refused, and instead of canceling the party or allowing me to go without it…she dragged me to the nearest mirror. I remember she roughly pushed me in front of it. I had never understood why my mom made me wear it in the first place, and this was the first time I had ever seen myself. I was horrified at the monster that stared back at me. So much that I thought it wasn't me…I thought it was some trick and I screamed at my mother. I got so frightened that I shattered the mirror lacerating my hands and wrists." He paused rubbing his hands nervously, "There was blood everywhere. But as I continued to bleed all over the floor…my mother did not even bandage my wounds. She walked away and it was only through the good graces of a neighbor that I was treated."

I sighed, "Erik—"

"Its just," he said hopping off the windowsill, "what if I am no better? I ended up running away when I was nine years old…what if I hate this child because they will get what I always wanted?"

"Sssh," I said quickly quieting him, "that's not going to happen and you know that. We both have each other…something you're mother didn't have. Sometimes I wonder if my parents were truly happy either. Don't you think I fear that in a moment of weakness I will act exactly like my mother? We all fear that when certain events tramautize your experience. All we can do is learn from them and walk forward."

(Erik)

How had I ended up so lucky? So entranced by this strong, proud, beautiful woman. I gently stood up putting my hands on her belly, "This child is truly blessed to have such a strong woman for its mother."

She smiled, "And it is lucky to have a strong creative father. Who I know will protect his family with a furious passion."

I smiled kissing her gently, "Oh don't I know it. And thank you darling…for listening to me."

She nodded her head, "When you love someone you do anything to help them. Even listen to their whining," she said teasingly trying to lighten the mood.

"Well then," I said pulling her close, "I think that's enough whining for tonight then." And then I kissed her passionately lowering her gently on the bed. We both got underneath the covers smiling to each other. I put my hand protectively around her midsection and smiled. To better days to come and many restless nights.