I quickly stood up from the edge of the bed but still, my nervous system was under the effect of the kvas I had drunk too fast and on an empty stomach. I tried to find my balance, the Darkling jumped to his feet and held me from my shoulders, keeping me in place. My head was spinning like crazy, so I just closed my eyes and took deep breaths for a few seconds.

"Take it easy," the Darkling said as he made me sit on the bed once again. "You're still drunk."

"Thanks," I muttered after sitting down and I slowly opened my eyes. "I'm a bloody idiot."

He was standing in front of me with a soft look in his slate-grey eyes. "You're sad and afraid, that doesn't make you an idiot."

I shook my head, "No, I didn't mean it like that." I corrected myself and covered my face with my hands. "I'm a bloody idiot because I haven't been able to see the most obvious problem this whole time." Taking a deep breath, I put down my hands and looked into the Darkling's eyes. "A Shadow Summoner with a fear of the dark –can you believe this?"

The Darkling sat down next to me with slow movements, "I didn't use to enjoy darkness much when I was a little boy." he admitted, which caused my jade-green eyes to widen. "I'd always prefer light and sun but once I mastered my powers, I realised that nothing could comfort me as much as the dark."

At that moment, I realised that we weren't so different after all. I had always seen the Darkling as someone godlike, someone extraordinary because of the way he carried himself in his black kefta, because of all the wisdom he possessed, because of how perfect he seemed and because of how awfully powerful he was.

However, he was just as human as I was.

A beautiful sound escaped his lips as he laughed. "You look at me as if I've told you that I had a secret affair with the King himself, Valkyrja."

His remark caused me to laugh as well. "It's just… I guess I have never thought the Darkling could fear something, let alone the darkness itself." I said and heaved a sigh. "This fear has been a part of me for so long that I had to embrace it at some point –that's why it hasn't occurred to me as something that could be keeping my powers locked up inside of me."

"Can you trace back to where you actually began to fear the dark?" the Darkling asked me. With a frown on my face, I focused my eyes on my hands and tried to remember where it all began but it was no use –at some point, everything blurred.

I shook my head. "I can't." I spoke with a low voice. "I'm useless."

The Darkling stood up suddenly, then he offered me his hand. "I might have an idea that can help you." he said and helped me to my feet. He led us to the empty place inside the room, which was between the wardrobe and the bed, and he raised both of his hands into the air. "Just stay calm."

Everything happened so fast.

The moment I saw the shadows that were beginning to flow towards his hands, darkness swallowed my world –I was trapped inside his shadows. It was impossible to see, all the light that was radiating from the oil lamps had been captured by the darkness surrounding me. I could feel panic taking control of my body as my breathing became deeper and more frequent.

I let out a high pitched scream when I felt a warm breath licking the skin close to my ear but my pulse started to slow down from its insane pace as the Darkling's voice reached my ear. He held my left wrist while murmuring the words against my skin.

"There's no need to be afraid –I'm right here."

I turned back in the dark to find the Darkling, I was extending my right hand in front of me so that I could maybe touch his body if he was close enough. The moment I felt the fabric of his black kefta under my palm, I let out the breath I had been holding without even noticing.

He was standing too close to me.

Normally, that'd make me feel nervous but since I was literally trapped in the dark, his presence didn't cause me to feel uneasy. On the contrary, knowing that he was there with me allowed me to relax slightly. At that moment, I realised that I felt safe when he was around me.

Then, something happened.

I knew I could always blame the alcohol for what I did but I was one hundred per cent aware of my actions –though, he didn't know that, which was the only thing that mattered.

With slow movements, I moved my right hand up on his kefta. Soon, I felt the neck of the kefta under my palm and my fingertips touched his chin. I could feel his chest rise and fall since there was little to no distance between us and his warm breath was touching my forehead every time he exhaled –which meant that he was looking down at me. Because it was pitch-black, I could make out neither his silhouette nor his face.

I wasn't able to see him but I could feel him.

When my fingertips touched his chin, I waited for a few seconds to see if he would push my hand away but he didn't –he was awaiting my next move. Even though I wasn't able to see anything, I still closed my eyes as I moved my hand higher until my palm rested against his cheek.

Then, I began to trace his face.

I moved my fingers across his chin, up his cheekbones, around his forehead. When my thumb brushed against his lower lip, I heard him inhale deeply. He was still holding my left wrist and he moved his free hand to my waist, then he gently pulled me against his chest so that our bodies were pressed against each other. My heart skipped a beat.

I had completely forgotten about my fear of the dark.

In fact, I had forgotten about everything that had made me drink all the kvas that day –all I could think about was the heat radiating off his body, how close we stood, my thumb against his lower lip and the strong urge to kiss him. However, I wasn't drunk enough to perform such a bold and daring act.

Still, that didn't change the fact that I was literally dying to kiss him. I wanted his lips to touch my lips, not my thumb.

I wish I could see his face, I thought. Maybe I could understand what he thought or what he wanted.

When I felt that he was leaning into me, I instinctually moved my right hand to his neck. My heart started to beat faster once again, it was beating so fast as if I was on the run. I couldn't tell what he was about to do but deep down I was hoping for him to kiss me. The moment I felt his lips against my forehead, however, I understood that I had to be more precise with my wish.

"See? There's nothing to be afraid of." his voice was lower than a whisper when he spoke, his lips were still pressed against my forehead.

I gulped before I spoke. "I'm not afraid anymore."

The tone of his voice made me imagine a smirk on his lips. "In that case, there must be another reason for this quick pulse of yours." he said as he moved his thumb to the inside of my wrist, which he had been holding, and placed it on that place where he could easily feel my pulse.

I felt heat rushing to my face and for the first time, I was glad that we were in the dark. The last thing I wanted at that moment was the Darkling to see my blushed cheeks. "It's because of the alcohol." I responded, I couldn't come up with anything better.

His lips left my forehead and I felt the Darkling lowering his upper body. The way he used the height difference between us was dangerously attractive and it was scary how perfect each of his movements was –as if he had already planned every single one of them.

When he leant into my ear; his soft, black hair brushed against my cheek and I couldn't help but gasp loud enough for him to hear. "Your lying skills still need some work, Miss Nørgaard." he whispered at my ear, making me shiver as his warm breath licked my skin and I wanted to melt right then and there, inside his arms.

He was driving me crazy.

Then he let both my waist and my wrist go, took a step back and the shadows surrounding us disappeared in slow motion. It took my eyes a few second to adjust to the light, I had no idea for how long we had been in the dark but it had certainly felt as if time itself had stopped.

The Darkling ran his right hand through his raven hair as his slate-grey eyes studied my jade-green ones. "I want you to think about what we've talked tonight, about the dark and the fears." he said. "I'm sure they'll be of assistance as you try reaching for your power."

And with that, he left my room, leaving me standing and missing the heat of his body already.

/Time Skip/

Even though I had a lot on my mind, the alcohol helped me sleep easily that night. Right after the Darkling left me, I quickly took off my clothes and got under the covers simply in my underwear. Then I slowly fell asleep as I thought about him –of course I wasn't able to concentrate my thoughts on finding the reason for my fear of the dark.

We had definitely shared something in the dark and I couldn't help myself but think about those intimate times. The more I thought about him, the more I realised that I wanted to be with him. I wasn't sure whether it was only a physical attraction I felt since there was still the Evan-situation, which was quite fresh, but I was certain about this: The attraction I felt was definitely not one-sided.

I hadn't quite figured out what caused this so-called attraction between us –I thought it didn't have anything to do with my beauty since there were tons of other Grisha hovering around the Darkling who were considerable prettier and more attractive than I was. Hence, it made me believe that what we shared in common was drawing us to each other –our powers.

Which made kind of sense to me since like called to like.

When I woke up for the breakfast the next day, which was a Sunday and people tended to join the breakfast later than they usually did, I could finally put my restless thoughts about the Darkling aside and turn my attention to the real problem –my fear of the dark. As I got dressed, memories from my childhood began to play in front of my eyes.

I remembered that time when my father used my fear of the dark to punish me for buying unpermitted books –books about the Small Science and the Grisha. He had locked me up inside the dark cellar and had left me there for hours. I had ended up taking the fetus position as I lied on the hard, cold ground and I had silently cried until he decided I had learnt my lesson.

He was a cruel man, my father, I was beginning to think that he had been aware of all this weird stuff about my mother's family –this was the only sensible reason for all the things he had done to me. From blaming me for my mother's death to selling me to an old man.

Shura and Iwona were already in the dining hall when I arrived there. After muttering a silent good morning to them, I took my seat and began to nibble the food on my plate. Oh, there was something I needed to admit: the food in the Little Palace was awful. Apparently, the Darkling found it important that the Grisha ate just like the farmers, so they gave us herring and rye for breakfast.

I hated herring. Maybe I could start smuggling salmon from Fjerda.

"Where were you last night?" Iwona asked me with a low voice not to attract any unwanted attention. I could already see Shura listening to us, I knew she wanted to figure out whether I was with the Darkling. "That Otkazat'sya girl was looking for you."

Well, I wanted so badly to tell her what had happened between us the previous night just to see the expression on Shura's face but I decided to keep it between the Darkling and me.

"She has a name, Iwona and it is Celina." I spoke with a weary tone as I pushed the plate away. I decided that I didn't want to eat anything and considering the fact that I didn't also eat dinner the previous night, this wasn't a sensible decision. But, please, herring and rye? I'd rather starve to death. "I was in my room, I ate there. It was the death day of my mother so I wanted to be left alone."

It was scary how easily I could lie to my friend but not to the Darkling.

A soft expression appeared on Iwona's face as she placed her left hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Val."

I was about to thank her but I felt my blood boiling the moment I saw the relieved expression on Shura's face –well, technically it wasn't the death day of my mother but she didn't know that. And it made me so freaking angry that the only thing she cared about was the fact that I hadn't been inside the Darkling's bed.

Suddenly, I found myself in the middle of a turmoil of memories.

"Pe ver ei skitt Drüsje!"
"Not bad for a Fjerdan."
"What did they do to you? This isn't my Valkyrja."
"Is it true that you're a descendent of the babinki?"
"Jer elsker peg, Valkyrja!"
"You should first earn it –earn to carry that colour. He is flattering you too much."

I knew I looked as if I was in trance and I could hear Iwona calling at me but I didn't feel in the present –I was drawn into a different dimension. Then it hit me –the cause of everything. The point where it all started. The thing keeping me from reaching my power.

I looked no older than three and I was playing in the garden as my father watched me from the doorstep. I held a doll in my left hand and I was combing its hair when a bird caught my attention. With a sudden movement, I pointed at the flying bird with my empty hand and shadows were literally fired at the poor animal.

Thinking that I did something remarkable, I threw the doll onto the grass and clapped with my hands as I turned to face my father. "Pappa, så pe hva jer gjorde?" I asked him with an excited tone but the expression on my father's face caused me to be afraid.

He stood up aggressively as he held me from my arm and literally dragged my small and fragile body into the house. "Detta ver hva som skjer med stygga jenter nar de gjor forbjudna ting!" he literally roared at me and locked me up inside the dark cellar. "Glom hva som skjedde ute end aldri gjor es igen!"

[Translation:

"Dad, did you see what I did?
"That is what happens to the naughty girls who do forbidden things!"
"Forget about what happened outside and never ever do that again!"]

After that, he had locked me up inside the cellar every time I set my power free instinctually and without even noticing. Soon, a fear of the dark had begun to capture my conscience as a kid since I would automatically link the shadows with countless hours alone in the dark and cold cellar. The only solution was keeping the power locked up inside of me, so that was what I had done.

It was all my father's fault.

And probably that day had been when he began to hate me, day by day. The more I showed my power, the more he despised his very own daughter.

I stood up as I pushed my seat back loudly, Shura and Iwona were looking at me with questioning eyes. Iwona tried to ask me where I was going but simply ignored her and let my feet take me to the only place I wanted to be at that moment. I could feel something within me waking up from its long, deep slumber.

Once again, the Darkling had been right.

Even something small could be locking up your power –sometimes such things tend to seem trivial to us since they lie right before our very eyes.

My conscience had been trying to make me forget about those painful memories but who could have known they had been carrying the key to my powers the whole time?

As I entered Baghra's hut, the middle-aged woman turned her blue eyes to me but they shone with excitement when she saw the shadows flowing around my hands, which were raised into the air. I knew single tears were rolling down my cheeks but for once, I didn't feel weak.

I felt strong. Stronger than ever.

The edge of Baghra's lip curled upwards. "Now, we may begin."

The tension between the Darkling and Val omg

This has been my favourite chapter so far, I loved writing it and I hope you've enjoyed it as well!! Don't forget to leave a review (: