"Again."

I didn't bother hiding the weary expression on my face as I opened my arms to the side for the unknown-th time that morning. It was still quite early but I wasn't sleepy –thanks to Baghra, my sleeping schedule had become an absolute disaster. Lately, she was making me wake up at sunrise and meet her by the lake. I had no idea why we were doing our lessons at such an early time –first of all, it was the coldest time of the day and Baghra hated cold.

She was impossible to understand sometimes.

I stood still as shadows formed a long line underneath my arms, then I raised my arms with slow movements to create a wall of shadows. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and moved my arms forwards with a quick movement. The shadow wall began to fly above the lake with a high speed and with a movement of my hands the wall collapsed, covering the entire surface of the lake.

Now, the hardest part began.

I had to keep it like that.

Even though using my power made me stronger, I still had my limits and actively commanding such huge amounts of shadows was draining me. I bit into my lower lip as I felt the shadows trying to break free and after a few seconds, I had to let them go eventually. I fell to my knees, my breathing was fast and frequent.

Baghra clicked her tongue in disapproval. "You need to be able to hold around even larger amounts of shadows for a longer time if you're to enter the Fold, girl."

I raised my head to look at her, I was too tired to hide the confused expression on my face. "You know the Darkling's plan about me?"

This time she let out a condescending laughter as she watched me stand up. "Did you think I'd have agreed to train you if I hadn't known what he was up to?" she said and shook her head. "And I took you for someone smart."

"Maybe," I spoke with a hesitant tone since I couldn't predict how Baghra was going to react. "What I lack is an Amplifier."

Well, I certainly wasn't expecting Baghra to laugh into my face as if I had told her the funniest joke she had ever heard in her life. A frown appeared on my face. "She knows about the Amplifiers as well!" Baghra mocked me. "Be honest with me, girl –he has filled your head with this Amplifier nonsense, hasn't he?"

Of course, she was talking about the Darkling.

I turned my jade-green eyes away, "No, he hasn't." I spoke with a stubborn air around me, though I knew Baghra could easily notice the change in my energy. "I haven't even heard of him ever since he was gone."

A month had passed since I shared that little kiss with the Darkling in the war room, maybe it was even longer, I didn't really know.

I had never thought I'd be waiting so excitedly for his return; however, I couldn't help myself but wake up with the hope of seeing him every morning. Then, of course, I'd find out that he was still away and my day would automatically start badly.

Even though I hadn't heard anything from the Darkling, word would still arrive at the Little Palace. I didn't know why I had expected him to write to me in the first place; however, I got really upset when I realised that I'd not be getting any letters from him.

It was my foolishness, though –there was nothing serious between us, why would the Darkling write letters to a Grisha with whom he had only shared a simple kiss? I was sure he had shared countless kisses with many other Grisha and I got really, really angry at myself for keeping my hopes unnecessarily high.

Things were not going well around the Fjerdan border, where the Darkling had gone over a month ago. Every time another bad news about a Ravkan martyr reached the Little Palace, the number of people sending me deadly glares increased. I had started feeling uncomfortable in the dining hall.

My reaction made Baghra heave an exaggerated sigh. "As if you didn't have enough to worry about," she muttered under her breath. "I was wondering when it'd happen, though."

Once again, I frowned at Baghra's words, "When what would happen, Baghra?" I asked as I pushed a strand of raven hair away from my face.

"When your dark prince would have you under his charm, girl." Baghra spoke with a biting and hard tone but there was also disgust in her voice.

I shook my head as I crossed my arms over my chest. "That's not true."

Baghra let out a hmph sound and raised an eyebrow. "Do you think you can lie to me?" she asked, since the answer was pretty obvious, she didn't let me speak. "Listen, girl: if you want to prove to him that you're not a useless, Fjerdan girl who can barely hold a shadow wall, you're going to need a lot more than this." Baghra pointed at my black kefta. "Those regular Amplifiers won't be much of a help for you either, you're already remarkably strong on your own. Your problem is with utilising that strength and that's what we have to solve.

"What you have to do is," Baghra said as she hit my shoulder with her stick. "You have to stop daydreaming about kissing your dark prince under the starlight. You have to focus on your goal." she shook her head and turned her back to me, she was walking towards her hut. "If you knew what you were really up against, if you knew what horrors rested inside the Fold, you'd understand."

I didn't go to breakfast that morning. First of all, my nerves were already shot thanks to Baghra and her wonderful lesson. Secondly, I knew very well that I was going to get those deadly glares and disturbing whispers the moment I stepped a foot into the dining hall. I didn't want to cause any accidents because of my nerves and I knew I'd willingly drown those people with my shadows if I heard them talking shit about me, so I went to the kitchens and asked the servants to bring my breakfast to my chambers.

Then, I went out for a walk in the Palace Grounds –maybe fresh air on a full stomach could help me clear my head.

Baghra's words were still disturbing me to the core and I couldn't help but think about what the Darkling would do if he saw that I wasn't strong enough to enter the Fold. Would he send me to exile for being an absolute failure, for wasting his time and for giving him false hopes? Or maybe he would simply throw me aside and continue looking for that legendary Sun Summoner –though I knew he was still waiting for a Sun Summoner to arrive in Ravka sometime.

Sometimes, I would think about what I was really going to do if I somehow got strong enough to enter the Fold. I was no Sun Summoner so there was no way I could, like literally, destroy the Fold. One way or another, I was like the Fold. The Darkling thought that I might be able to control the Fold, which was still a slight possibility but it seemed to give him big hopes.

Such big hopes that I was not able to forget the shimmer inside his slate-grey eyes the moment he saw that I could finally summon at will. The shimmer which made me writhe in remorse every time Baghra told me I was not strong enough.

Again, I couldn't figure out what the Darkling would expect me to do if I entered the Fold one day. When I thought about controlling the Fold, I imagined having control over its growth or the volcra residing in there. Maybe I could also create a path through the Fold. The more I pondered, with more scenarios I came up with but I knew that I was just wasting my time –all the answers were with the Darkling and he was in the north.

As I walked between the naked trees –the snow had been gone for a while now –I found myself contemplating another scenario: what would happen if a Sun Summoner came to the Little Palace the following day? Would the Darkling shift all his attention to that rare Etherealki, whom every single soul in Ravka held as their saviour? Would I immediately lose my importance within the Grisha Order?

Well, probably yes. Everything about my success was a mere possibility, after all. A Sun Summoner was, on the other hand, an exact solution to the problem at hand. In that case, all that special attention I had been getting was simply because of the lack of hope in the Grisha's lives. They had been so hopeless for so long that they could easily embrace a Shadow Summoner from another bloodline, a Shadow Summoner who wasn't a Darkling.

I can't decide which is worse in their eyes, though –being a Darkling or being a Fjerdan Shadow Summoner.

Honestly, my combination would be nothing but apocalyptic if I ever mentioned it to a Ravkan farmer. They already think that Shadow Summoners are born without a soul and I'd be bringing in their biggest enemies as well.

I giggled as I imagined myself meeting an old, Ravkan farmer and telling them that I was a Shadow Summoner. The farmer would probably ask me whether I was related to the Darkling since every previous Shadow Summoner had come from a single bloodline –they had been the Darkling's ancestors. When I told the farmer that I wasn't from around here, they would be surprised and then I'd end up getting cut in half with a scythe once they learnt I was Fjerdan.

On my way back to the Little Palace, something unexpected happened. I ran into the Queen and her two sons –Vasily and Nikolai Lantsov.

Tatiana Lantsov was a beautiful woman probably in her early thirties. Her blonde hair literally shone even though the sun was behind the clouds and her dark blue eyes seemed like they actually belonged to the True Sea.

Vasily Lantsov, the oldest prince of Ravka, didn't look older than sixteen. His blonde hair was perfectly shaped and his light blue eyes were wandering shamelessly on me –though he wasn't as handsome as one would expect him to be considering that his mother was gorgeous. He had a weak chin and his eyes were heavy-lidded, which made me wonder whether the King was the ugly one in the family.

And lastly, Nikolai Lantsov, the young prince. He was still a child, he was probably ten, but the glint in his hazel eyes immediately gave away that he wasn't just an ordinary kid. Whereas Vasily's eyes looked almost empty, Nikolai had that genius look inside his eyes.

Of course, I was aware of the gossip about Nikolai Lantsov –Celina had told me all about the Lantsov family. People believed Nikolai to be a bastard and they whispered that the young prince didn't carry Lantsov blood at all.

I bowed my head as I stopped in front of them. "Moya tsaritsa," I saluted the Queen, then I turned to the princes. "Moi tsarevich, moi tsarevich."

The royal guards were following the Queen and her two sons from a distance.

"Black kefta?" the Queen spoke with a surprised tone. I still had my head bowed. "You must be the famous Shadow Summoner –you may raise your head, child. What is your name?"

As I raised my head, I pushed back the raven hair falling in front of my eyes. "Valkyrja Nørgaard, moya tsaritsa." I responded.

Nikolai raised an eyebrow upon hearing my name. "That's not a Ravkan name." he said but he didn't sound condescending. Just like a regular child, he was excited to meet someone different, someone foreign.

I nodded as a small smile formed on my lips, "Yes, moi tsarevich, it is a Fjerdan name. I'm coming from Halmhend." I said, then I immediately panicked because I didn't know whether I was allowed to smile at the prince. I bowed my head once again, "Please forgive me if I act inappropriately, moya tsaritsa." I told the Queen. "I wasn't taught how to behave in the presence of the royal family."

I could swear I saw the hints of a smile on the Queen's red lips as she motioned me to raise my head. "I'll tell Celina to help you with that, I hope the Darkling is planning to introduce you to the King soon." she said and worry began to grow in my stomach –a formal introduction to the King of Ravka meant that everything was going to get even more serious. "We kept hearing about you, about the new Shadow Summoner from the North, but since we never saw you around, we began to believe that you were a manipulation of the Darkling."

Now this was interesting –the King doubted the Darkling? Did he really think that the leader of the Second Army would try to deceive him?

"I haven't been able to raise my head from my studies ever since I arrived in the Little Palace, moya tsaritsa." I said as I tried to avert my gaze from Vasily –I didn't like the way he was looking at me. "Everything is very much new to me –the Little Science, the Grisha Theory –hence I have to work extra hard to keep up with the schedule."

I guess hearing that I had been working satisfied the Queen, therefore the sceptical look inside her dark blue eyes disappeared. She nodded with an appreciating manner. "Now that's what I wanted to hear." she said and turned her eyes to her younger son, who was pulling on his mother's golden dress. "Yes, Nikolai?"

"Madraya, am I allowed to have a Fjerdan Queen when I grow up?" Nikolai asked as he pointed at me and my cheeks took a lighter shade of pink as a giggle escaped my lips. "I want to marry her!"

The Queen let out a soft laugh upon hearing Nikolai's words. "We'll talk about that when you become a man, Nikolai." she said, then looked at me once again. "I hope to meet you under different circumstances next time, Valkyrja Nørgaard."

"Moya tsaritsa," I bowed my head down as the Queen and Nikolai turned back to return to the Grand Palace. However, Vasily wasn't walking away with them, which also caught the Queen's attention.

"Vasily? Your father awaits us."

"Just a moment, Madraya." the elder prince told his mother as I raised my head to look into his light blue eyes. He raised an eyebrow at me. "What is he planning to do with you?"

I didn't bother hiding the confused expression on my face. "I don't understand, moi tsarevich."

"The Darkling," Vasily repeated himself. "What is his plan? Isn't one Shadow Summoner already enough for us –who knows what kind of terrors two of them could unleash on Ravka."

Well, breaking news: I already hated the Crown Prince.

I sent Vasily an obviously fake smile as I responded in a sharp-tongued manner. "Why don't you ask this to the Darkling himself, moi tsarevich? It's not my place to talk about his plans." I bowed my head once more. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to meet Baghra."

I didn't care if lying to Vasily Lantsov put me in trouble and I doubted he would ever understand that I was lying to him. At that moment, all I wanted was to get away from the prince before he could utter another stupid word that would make me lose my cool and eventually lead me into doing something I'd regret.

The Darkling is going to be away for a while but as you know, I need to develop the story on other fronts as well so that my plot doesn't fail me (: But it'll worth the wait trust me

7k views I am absolutely on a loss for words that you all so much for the support!! I love you all *purple heart emoji*