Another week had passed in the Little Palace. The winter was beginning to gather its white skirts and leave its place to spring as February approached its end. Spring came earlier in Ravka than it did in Fjerda, hence I was overmuch surprised to see the trees slowly starting to blossom. It also made me somewhat happy, actually –winter and snow made me feel homesick, after all.

There was still no news from the Darkling, rumour had it that he was still somewhere around the northern border but no one was really sure. I had grown so impatient that I was trying my best to occupy my mind with various stuff so that I'd not start daydreaming about him.

Except for taking new books, I had stopped visiting the library after my last encounter with the Apparat. Instead, I was taking the books to my chambers and reading there as I lied on my bed or sat on an armchair. I didn't want him to impose any more disturbing thoughts on my mind.

Nevertheless, I was still doing some research about merzost but luck wasn't on my side. As one could assume, merzost was not a common practice among the Grisha, therefore the information about it was quite scarce. From little paragraphs I found inside various books about the Small Science, the only conclusion I could draw was that the power granted by merzost could be unwieldy in the extreme, and it was likely to produce unexpected or unintended results to a devastating degree. In addition, some sources mentioned that it required the sacrifice of something essential from the person attempting it.

Sadly, that was all I got.

I hadn't found any connection between Sankt Ilya, Morozova's Stag and merzost. The scenario in my head told me that Ilya had used merzost to create the stag but this could very well be just a delusion caused by the Apparat. As a matter of fact, he was the reason that I created this scenario –he had been the one to tell me implicitly that Sankt Ilya had created the stag for it to become the most powerful Amplifier on the earth.

Apart from my miserable lessons with Baghra, the time I spent reading and the combat training, I was meeting Botkin after dinner every night to have extra training –he was teaching me to fight with knives. Ever since our extra practices had begun, I had been carrying the knife Botkin had given to me under my belt, in a leather case.

However, Botkin had told me that these practices would end the moment the Darkling returned since he couldn't predict how the Darkling would react if he found out that his favourite Grisha had been wasting her time playing with blades.

Still, I was grateful that Botkin spent his free time training me even though he didn't really have to do that. And judging by the way he reacted after each night, he was impressed by my progress. Well, what can I say –when it came to fighting, I was a quick learner.

I wish I could say the same for being a Shadow Summoner, too. Baghra was complaining about me as much as Botkin was impressed by me.

It was a regular Friday night and I had just finished my extra training with Botkin. I felt tired and truth to be told, my physical tiredness had increased significantly over the previous week since I had been training twice as much as before. However, this tiredness was not an unpleasant one –it was the side-effect of success and improvement. Hence, it didn't bother me when my body ached.

I was in a good mood when I took the bottle of champagne and the champagne glass in my chambers –earlier that day, Iwona and Radoslaw had gone to the town and bought me these two as a little motivational gift for my hard work. I hadn't been able to spend much time with my friends lately because of my busy schedule and they wanted to encourage me. Feeling their love and care truly melted my heart.

After taking the silver-grey coloured book I had taken from the library the previous week, which was about Svartkonst and was written in Fjerdan, and placing it in my bag among the champagne, I went out to sit by the lake. Tonight, the weather was even milder than usual.

As I sat on the soft grass, I took out the champagne, opened it and then poured some in the glass. I drank the first glass while I watched the lake in front of me –there was a full moon and the sky was clear, hence the moonlight created marvellous shimmers on the surface of the lake.

It was so peaceful that it felt out of this world.

Then, I put the book on my lap and began to read from where I had left off a few days ago as I drank another glass of champagne. Since champagne was one of the softest drinks I had ever tasted, it didn't really have any effect on me. You'd drink it for pleasure, not for numbing yourself.

It was probably around my third glass when I came across something absolutely interesting and equally terrifying –apparently, a Svartkonst practitioner could indeed raise the dead if they worked with an Etherealki. The breath of life could only be blown by an Etherealki and it could be air, water, or fire. The book didn't provide much information about how the resurrection process worked, nor whether shadow and light could also be used among the three main elements.

I wasn't surprised by the lack of information concerning Shadow and Sun Summoners, though –we, the Shadow Summoners, were extremely rare and Sun Summoners were still nothing more than a myth.

However, I believed that a resurrection ritual with a Shadow Summoner (or a Sun Summoner) would yield the strongest results since we were, well, the most powerful class of Grisha.

Then a question arose, which made me frown even without noticing. Was this, the resurrection, also considered as merzost? The Necromancers weren't necessarily Grisha but since a Grisha was an integral part of a resurrection ritual, I guessed it had to be count as merzost.

Before I could continue reading about the dark, daunting but also powerful rituals that needed a Grisha's assistance besides the Svartkonst practitioner; someone sat next to me. I quickly closed the book and turned it so that its back cover was facing up.

When I raised my head to look at the person disturbing me, my jade-green eyes found Leon's green eyes and the stern look on my face dissolved into thin air. Raising an eyebrow, he took the champagne glass from my hands, drank it all at once and then gave the empty glass back to me.

"Reading under the moonlight accompanied by a bottle of champagne –now that's what I call treating yourself." Leon said as I poured myself another glass. "What were you reading?"

I shrugged carelessly, "Oh, it's nothing –an old book in Fjerdan about the Drüskelle." the lies left my lips almost automatically. I was becoming a better liar each day and it was making me somewhat worried every time I realised how little effort I put into lying –it was becoming very much like a reflex. "I thought you'd be in the dining hall with the others –they were seated around the samovars the last time I checked."

This time Leon shrugged, the wind was playing with his blonde hair. "I got bored and I went out for a walk –I was planning on going to the banya but seeing you changed my plans." he spoke with a warm smile on his plump lips. "I missed spending time with you, Val."

It was hard to tell whether he was being totally friendly or flirting with me but the sincere tone in his voice brought a small smile on my face. "I missed you, too, Leon but you know how busy my life has become." I said and brought the glass to my lips. "I'm not complaining, though –a busy schedule makes it hard for me to find time to annoy myself after leaving Baghra's hut."

"She's still giving you a hard time, isn't she?"

I nodded as I made my lips into a thin line, my eyes were on the shining surface of the lake. "You have no idea –she is always dissatisfied, no matter what I do." I responded, then I turned left to look at Leon. "Leon, can I ask you something?"

The edge of his lip curled upwards. "Yes, Val, of course you can kiss me." he said, which made me do an exaggerated eye-roll. He let out a soft laughter. "Alright, ask away –but I get to ask you something as well."

"Fine," I muttered, finished the remaining champagne in my glass and spoke with a low voice –I knew were alone in the grounds but still, I didn't want to talk about this loudly. "What do you know about merzost?"

Apparently, Leon wasn't expecting me to ask something so serious and so dark, hence he seemed a little bit taken aback. Then he frowned. "Why do you ask about merzost, Val?"

Once again, I didn't even think twice as I lied while looking Leon in the eye. "I've come across the term a few times while reading about the theory but there is not much information provided in the books."

Leon didn't seem like he totally believed me but still, he didn't leave me hanging either. "Merzost is the power of life over death but don't let this description fool you, Val –it is something deeply wicked. Many Grisha interpret merzost as a corruption of the making at the heart of the world."

"So it really exists," I muttered more to myself. "Merzost, the power of creating something from nothing."

"When you put it like that, merzost tends to sound quite alluring," Leon said as he ran his right hand through his golden hair. "But as tempting as merzost sounds, its nature is just as obnoxious. I was taught that the practice required sacrifice –when a Grisha used merzost, it would eventually drain their vitality."

A frown appeared on my face as I listened to Leon's words extremely carefully. "Then, it means that merzost utilises the Grisha's own energy to… well, create stuff, doesn't it?" I asked, Leon nodded with slow movements. "Now this sounds horrifying."

"It is horrifying," he said and shrugged. "That's all I know about merzost –as you can guess, there aren't many known practitioners of it."

"Can't imagine why," I spoke sarcastically, then I sent a small smile at Leon. "Thank you, Leon. Now, it's your turn to ask me."

Reaching for the champagne bottle, Leon drank the remaining champagne from the freaking bottle. He laughed upon seeing the disgusted expression on my face. "What, did I spill the champagne on my kefta?"

I rolled my eyes as I clicked my tongue, "You cannot treat champagne like that!" I scolded him, who stuck his tongue at me and put the empty bottle aside.

"Be honest with me," he said, I raised an eyebrow at him. "What is it between you and the Darkling?"

Once again, I found myself rolling my eyes. "Leon, there is nothing between the Darkling and me apart from the fact that I am the only Shadow Summoner other than him." I spoke with a weary tone –lying skills. "Is it Shura? Is she filling your head with such nonsense?"

Leon shook his head, "It's not about Shura." he said and tilted his head to the side. "Val, I've seen the way he looks at you –well, he looked at you before he went North."

I took a deep breath. "Leon, just imagine how he feels: He has been the only Shadow Summoner for so long and two months ago, he suddenly found out that he wasn't alone after all." I explained with a soft tone. "What you saw in his eyes was happiness, nothing more."

Even talking about him was making my heart beat faster –I was lying Leon about the true nature of the thing between the Darkling and me in a calm and persuasive manner but the reactions my body was giving were totally different.

Leon let out a hmph sound, "He may have made you believe such a story but I know what I saw, Val." he said and sent me an allusive look. "And it was definitely something more than happiness."

[Time Skip]

"Are you thinking about him, again?"

I shook myself as I heard Celina's voice coming from behind me, which made me realise that I had been running my thumb over my lips unwittingly. "No," I said while turning back to face Celina, I was sitting in front of my dresser. The blonde-haired young woman raised her eyebrow at me as she crossed her arms over her chest. She was wearing a dark blue dress with long sleeves and an open neck. "Yes." I found myself muttering.

Celina took a deep breath, pushed a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and bent her knees to lower her body. I looked down at her as she held my hands. "Val, we've already talked this through." she spoke with a soft tone. "I know how much you've been affected by that kiss but you have to remember that the situation might not be the same for him."

I nodded with slow movements, "Because he is the Darkling and he has shared countless kisses with many other Grisha before." I finished Celina's words. "It doesn't necessarily have to mean something special to him."

"Exactly," Celina said while she stood up and helped me stand up as well. "It's too early for you to get your hopes high and I'd hate to see you in ruins once more."

"You won't see me in ruins because of the Darkling," I spoke with a confident air as I flipped my hair. "For I have no real feelings for him." I added upon seeing the look in Celina's eyes. "Well, at least not yet."

She rolled her eyes at me, "Yeah, sure and I've been the one daydreaming about him for the past month." she muttered and laughed as she saw me sticking my tongue at her. "Anyway, I came here to find out about your plans for this lovely Saturday night –you've already trained with Botkin, right?"

I nodded as I walked towards the table, around which the armchairs were placed, and poured myself a glass of water. "I don't have any plans, actually –I thinking of going to the banya."

Celina heaved a sigh, "Going to the banya at nine o'clock on a Saturday night –Val, you need to socialise!" she insisted and I simply shook my head.

"No, I don't want to socialise," I said and began to count with my fingers. "Iwona and Radoslaw always disappear on Saturday nights to have some time alone, Leon told me last night that he was going to sneak away from the Little Palace and spend the night in the town, and Anita is celebrating another Healer's birthday whose name I cannot remember." Then I crossed my arms over my chest. "Now tell me –would you like to socialise with Shura?"

Celina made her lips into a thin line. "This sounds quite unpleasant."

I nodded as I walked into the bathroom to gather my stuff. Taking the shampoo and the comb, I put them inside a small bag along with two towels. "It surely does. And since you cannot spend the night with me as well, my only option is going to the banya to feel somewhat at ease."

"You know how much I want to hang out with you like a normal person," Celina said as she followed me into the bathroom and the wistful tone of her voice literally broke my heart into a million pieces. I knew how hard it was for her to keep up with her duties in the Grand Palace and to regularly visit me as my best friend. My busy schedule during the daytime didn't help her either because I only had some free time at night and she always had to be around the Queen's guests at that time of the day. "But unless the Queen decides to go on a holiday without dragging me with her, my hands are tied."

I wanted to pray the Saints for that to happen –for the Queen to go somewhere far without taking Celina with her so that we could finally have some real-time to ourselves. A naughty spark appeared inside my jade-green eyes with the idea that came into my mind. "Maybe I can find a will-manipulation spell in that book about Necromancy." I said and raised an eyebrow at Celina. "What do you say –should I put a spell on your Queen?"

Celina frowned, "Val, I cannot tell if you're joking –this makes me feel uneasy." she muttered, then she shook her head. "No, of course not –please don't put on anything on our Queen."

I could tell that she was instinctually beginning to fear me when she saw that I was slowly embracing Svartkonst and I had absolutely no intention of scaring her away, hence I wiped away the naughty look and sent her a small smile. "Of course I was joking, Celina, I'd never do such a thing."

Lies, lies and more lies. Perhaps, one day I could become the Queen of Lies myself.

Celina and I parted ways after walking down the stairs that lead to the main hall of the Little Palace. As always, I was attracting too much attention with my black kefta but I was getting used it –the looks the Grisha gave me didn't bother me as much as they used to.

After arriving in the banya, I first went to the changing rooms to take off my kefta and the clothes underneath it. Neatly folding them, I placed them in an empty cupboard and wrapped a towel around my body. Once I was sure that the towel was tight enough, I took the little bag and left the changing room.

I heaved a disappointed sigh upon seeing that I wasn't alone in the banya –I expected everyone to be hanging around in the Little Palace or on the grounds since it was a freaking Saturday night but apparently, I wasn't the only socially awkward Grisha around here.

The Grisha inside the hot water faced away from me so I couldn't see his face but his back was a magnificent sight on its own –the muscles contracted and relax every time he moved his arms. I had to make sure I wasn't drooling.

Then, as if he had sensed my presence, he turned to face me and this time my jaw literally dropped. My eyes widened with shock, my heart started to beat faster, my breathing got heavier and I went weak at the knees.

The Darkling tilted his head as he raised an eyebrow at me. "You don't seem happy to see me, Valkyrja."

I have an oral exam in biology in approximately 15 days, hence I probably will not be able to update every day for a while :(

(To my readers from Germany: Ich habe das mündliche Abitur in Bio und ich habe gar nicht mit den Themen der Oberstufe angefangen ups, aber meine Durchschnittsnote aus den schriftlichen Prüfungen war schon ziemlich gut, also ich brauche das Mündliche eigentlich nicht, trotzdem muss man sich etwas vorbereiten :3)

I hope you've enjoyed the chapter, don't forget to leave reviews!