Without Healer to support her, one would suppose that Moth would have sunk into a state of bitter depression and lost all will to live. Such a thing occurred to her more than once, as she weeded the garden or as she washed the dishes while watching the sun set out the cottage window. Still, it never seemed to happen. She blamed Healer for that- He had made her swear to continue on, and something within Moth would not allow her to break that promise. Something within Moth had been healed by the Healer, and now she felt strong enough, or weak enough, to continue on working in the small cottage Healer had left her, to continue walking in footsteps that, while being much larger than her own, somehow did not seem too large to fill.
Moth had her time of mourning, and more than a few tears were shed in convulsive grief, but we readers must be kind enough to allow her that shred of privacy, that hint of dignity that not even Spider had been able to take away from her. Healer's body was buried in a small, crudely marked grave in the back garden, but his soul lived on in Moth, and in the work she did for the villagers from neighboring towns, who had occasionally come for potions and poultices. They had not relied on Healer entirely, nor would they allow themselves to rely on her, but they came to appreciate her help, though their visits were scarce and far between. Too many had died, and there was too much fear to make trips unless absolutely necessary.
It was a peaceful life, and a moderately good one, so Moth came to realize that she was contented with her lot. She was contented with the pitter patter of rain on the roof, contented with the soft shine of the warm morning sun, and even contented with the evening nip, though it did make her face pale by occasionally carrying whispers from a Spider who would never forget his dearest prey. Even this could not spoil Moth's new moderately good spirits, for Spider and the woes that came with him seemed so very far away and long ago. Almost like a dream, tugging at the back of her mind insistently. It would not be forgotten, but it simply did not seem all that important anymore, even when she learned of how he ransacked the countryside seeking her presence. The cottage, for now, was a safe haven, and until it would no longer protect Moth the cottage would be where she remained.
After a time that was both long and short, a good few turnings of the moon that was eternal, Moth's time of peace came to an end. This end was heralded in by a sunny, cheerful morning, and the somewhat dreary task of weeding the flower garden. The air was warm, and the breeze was cool enough that the heat of the sun did not beat uncomfortably on Moth's tanned but still tender skin. She listened to the sounds of the rare bird that still found reason to chirp and hummed her own pleasant little tune, hunched over the bed of flowers in her scratchy but comforting sackcloth dress.
There was a rustle in the distance, and Moth tensed. Hesitant, hints of muscularity rippling with tension, she reached for the nearby hoe in alarm. If it were Spider, He whom she had left behind, this measly weapon would do no good, but such was all she had. Rising hesitantly from her sitting position, Moth clutched the hoe in both hands and stood, poised and ready, for the rustling to unearth a black and purple shape with glowing green eyes.
Well, someone was unearthed, but it was not he whom Moth had expected. Instead, from the cloaking of the trees emerged a black haired wolf demon, slightly older and a good deal more worn, with a different pelt than that she remembered. Still, he was the same. He was a recognizable ghost of the past that Moth refused to own, so she pretended to preoccupy herself with a flower she had trampled in her haste to rise. He, not recognizing her, rushed into his speech.
"Before you attack this wolf demon, let me explain. We are too weak to attack you, Mother," he said politely, thinking to address an older woman, "My clan has lost much strength. So I come peacefully in hopes of something, anything, to turn back the hunger. We will work for it, no matter how lowly the job. Please, I beg you."
Tears pricked Moth's eyes. Oh, how the mighty had fallen. Here was cocky young Kouga, reduced to apologies and desperate pleas for aid. How could she refuse to help him, even if she had longed to leave that past behind? Rising and brushing off her knees, she turned to face him.
"Kagome!" Kouga gasped out in shock. She was so different, so changed. Stronger, better, wiser. He was awed.
"I am Moth now." she said calmly, a Queen in this, her domain. He inclined his head as he might to an equal. "And I am Wolf." he said, searching her eyes for some kind of sign of recognition, something other than this polite stranger whom he wanted to embrace and shake at the same time. This confirmation did not come as he had expected it, through a smile or a polite trio of words. That was what she would have done, once upon a time, but seeing him now as he had become brought Moth to tears. She wrapped both arms around his waist and rested her face against his chest. "Goodness, Wolf," she said fondly, "It is good to see you again."
With that, all tension was dispersed, and his arms were around her in an instant. She invited him in for tea, he accepted, and the two proceeded to make polite small talk for a time. When the subject turned to food, Moth said that she would be more than willing to proffer whatever food her humble abode could turn out to any one of his pack who desired it, in return for their labor. He said that would be just fine, and invited her to come with him to see what remained of the pack, and visit 'just for a little while.'
Moth was no fool. She knew if she went with him to his den she would never return, at least not here. She knew that he would try his hardest to keep her and to hold her, but fact was that she didn't have any problem with that at all. So, knowing that it heralded an end to her time of blissful silence and a beginning of something else, she smiled and said a little while would be fine.
Days passed, months passed, years passed, what did it matter? One might say Moth was silly to think this way, as she couldn't have been at the wolf den more than a month, but it already felt like forever. Sister Moth had been accepted as easily into the pack as any wolf demon, finding her place among the females and enjoying Wolf's courtship. Ayame was angered but silent, defeated and proud. Moth felt remorse, and that was all that kept her from Wolf's offer, all that kept her skirting the edges of commitment. She told herself that was all it was. Recklessness was Moth's new motto, and she would dance with any man by the fire, though all she offered was dance. This made Kouga infinitely jealous, but he knew that patience would pay off in the end and waited, with the utmost fidelity, for his turn to dance and teach her the rhythms of a chieftain and his mate.
Finally that night came. It was a hazy night, dark and euphoric, beautiful in every way. Moth was dressed in wolf demon garb, and her surroundings suited her perfectly as she flitted about the circle, a deer among prospective predators, seeking something yet running from it at the selfsame time. Wolf met her in the midst of the fire dance, his eyes laughing and merry from a little too much wine. Her eyes responded with the same message, and they were off, kicking up a dust storm, so used to the smoke that it almost didn't exist. Or if it did, the smoke was them and they were the smoke, one entity dancing in a pulsing circle like the beat of two rhythmic hearts joined in a union of which Kagome had, up until now, barely dreamed of. She and Spider had been close, but never had he shown her this power that she sensed. Oh, what power! She could be drowned in it. Spider had been addictive, but this was not as toxic an addiction as his had been. This addiction seemed sweeter, kinder, more powerful. It thrilled her, so they both drank more wine and when it came time to return to different beds Wolf grabbed Moth's hand and she said Yes, without thought.
To his private cave they fled, and there they joined together in the truest sort of matrimony that can exist in this world, the one of two souls, and the rhythm was in them, for the beat of the drum still echoed in their ears. It was a different beat, a stranger one, but it was still the same beneath, as he moved and she sighed and the wind blew outside. This was sweetness, this was bliss. Moth longed for a safe world for the rest of eternity, and within Wolf's arms she was beginning to think she could find it.
The morning dawned bitter sweetly, with tender kisses and soft words of endearment on his part, and a sinking feeling of regret on hers. Moth did not mention love, nor life bonds, but he knew that in time she would come to adore him as he already adored her. They had been made for one another, once upon a time, and now that bond would spring eternal, held together by cords tighter than any that demon or mortal being could weave. A month was all Wolf needed to make Moth his, and they both knew it.
But there was no month to be had, and what days remained ticked away before their ignorant eyes.
At breakfast, Ayame would not meet Moth's eyes. She could not blame her, and ate with silent shame that very few in the circle understood. Wolf followed her patiently and lovingly, while she walked around in a daze. By late afternoon, her eyes had begun to clear, and by evening she looked like her old self again- Yet not. Never her old self, nevermore evermore. Who was Moth now? She did not have the same soul, and so the same name would not do. Wolf had offered a long while ago to seek her out a new one, and by now he had found Moth the title of Sister. It was a good name, and she slowly felt it connecting with her soul. Last night had been what she needed to cement Sister into her being and thusly boot Moth out into the cold.
Sister was here. Sister was strong. Sister could live without her dangerous addiction to Spider. Sister would not dream of him at night, Sister would not long for his arms around her once more. As Sister, she could love Wolf, and it would be very wonderful. As the next 5 days passed, she realized it was so, and began to think. On the fifth day, he came to her with love in his eyes and she wanted it so badly that the Yes was on her lips when Sister's world came crashing down.
"WOLF! It's chaos!" Ayame chattered fearfully, interrupting the conversation with her shrill nasally tone. She had just rushed into the room, followed by a slew of injured wolf demons, all of whom Sister recognized. She paled to see that a few were missing, and rose to her feet. "Sister's house was burned to the ground, and the surrounding area is covered in fire. We tried to stop Him, but His Minions were too many and His puppets too powerful. This is not like the other attacks, Wolf. We cannot hold him off any longer."
Sister turned on Wolf with anger in her eyes. "You neglected to tell me this? You neglected to tell me that Spider was ravaging your territory searching for me?" Many flinched when the name rose to her lips, but Sister did not care. "How could you? How... could... you...?" She let out a terrified sob and Sister who could have been fell away to reveal Moth, solitary and lonely. "Why, Wolf?" she asked sadly, tears running down her cheeks, "Why did you try to prolong the inevitable?"
Wolf grabbed her arm, trying desperately to hold onto the woman who he had almost created. "Because I love you," Wolf said desperately, "I love you and you love me. I'll protect you if I can, and if I can't I'll send you off somewhere safe. Don't go. Tell me you love me. Do it, Sister!"
The sobs flowed freely now, and her shoulders shook, but when Wolf moved to hold Moth she put out her arms to stop him. She placed a hand on either side of his face, leaned up and pressed her lips to his with the utmost tenderness. But it was gone, and he choked back a sob of his own as he realized that he would never hold Sister again. "I could have loved you," she said simply, "But now you must let me go. Your path is not with me, it is with Ayame. I wish I had seen that before all this happened." She took Ayame's hand and put it in Wolf's, pressing them together. She turned to Ayame and smiled sadly. "Make him strong for me." she said, eyes intense, "Keep him happy. I know you will."
Even as Sister, Moth had always kept her vital things packed. She supposed she'd always known that this was too good to be true. There wasn't much she would need, where she was going. It was Moth's last resort, and she knew it. Somehow, in the depths of her injured soul, she couldn't bring herself to care.
Wolf had taken Ayame's hand with bitter resignation in his eyes. Now Ayame supported him as he stared at Moth with bleary eyes as she returned to the room, bag in hand. "You are leaving now, then? Where will you go? Who will have you?"
Moth laughed harshly. "No one will have me, dear Wolf, for it seems that no one can. I have one last place to go, one last set of respects to finish, then I am done. My journey will end with a bang, very likely, so whatever happens I beg you not to shed a tear for me. Loathe me for how I destroyed your heart, Wolf, and hate me for how I stole your mate, Ayame, but do not weep for me. I am not yours to weep for any longer. Goodbye, my pack. Goodbye to you all."
The room was filled with the vile taste of silence as Moth picked up her bag and turned, walking out of the cave and into the night. The air was fresh, the breeze was crisp, and the sun was beginning to rise. It dried the tear tracks on Moth's cheeks, and she smiled an empty smile.
"This is the end game, Spider!" she called to the winds, Sister's very last words, "Take your best shot!"