I'm so sorry for the long delay on this chapter. I just started a new job that's taking up a lot of my time and then there's of course the football championship... Anyways, I think I might need to switch to a monthly update schedule.
So now, without further ado, here's the next chapter :)
November 2004
"Derek, are you ready? It's three hours up to your mom's and if we want to get there before noon, we have to get going. You don't want Mark to beat you there, do you?" Addison yelled up the staircase of the Central Park brownstone, impatiently tapping her foot on the hardwood floors in the den.
"Mark will always beat me there because he knows Mom has food for him," Derek replied easily as he came down the stairs and walked into the kitchen. "Mom mentioned that we were supposed to bring something food-related when I last talked to her, but I just can't remember what it was," he half-mumbled to himself as he opened the fridge and stared into the cold as if that could give him his answer.
Addie cleared her throat. "She told you she wanted cranberry jam for whatever weird concoction Nancy wants to cook up."
"Oh," was his non-committal answer as he started searching the fridge with more purpose. "Shit, it seems we're fresh out of cranberry jam, if we ever even had it in the first place. I bet getting it on Thanksgiving when everybody wants whatever cranberry-related thing they can get their hands on is going to be a bitch."
"Derek, I have the cranberry jam already. I bought it on my way home from work two weeks ago, and it is safely stored in my purse. Grab the car keys and get here already, I don't want to be late again," she told him. "I'm still making up for the hotdog Thanksgiving and being late the third year in a row is not helping my case."
"Addie, the hotdog Thanksgiving was six years ago," Derek said, half-bemused half-exasperated.
"Yeah, so that means it's about a hundred years too early for your mom to even consider forgiving me for letting Nancy get food poisoning," she bit back as she picked up her purse.
They got into Derek's car, spending the first ten minutes in companionable silence until they made a turn onto 57thstreet and Derek's pager began to beep.
"Jesus Christ," Addie hissed as he pulled the car over to look at the message.
"I'm so sorry, Addie, it's a 911," he explained, looking sincerely disappointed about having to go to the hospital instead of seeing his family.
She balled her fists angrily. "Why are they even paging you? NYP is one of the foremost hospitals on the East Coast, they must have more than one neuro-surgeon."
He didn't answer but instead reached for his jacket pocket with his phone inside.
"Derek, what are you doing?" Addison asked exasperatedly.
"I'm calling Mark. If we're lucky, he hasn't left the city yet, then he can take you up to Mom's with him and I'll meet you there for dinner. All of my patients were stable when I left last night, so if we're lucky this is just some intern panicking about a spike in blood pressure," Derek told her calmly, waiting for his best friend to pick up the phone. "Hey man – yeah, we were on our way up, listen, are you out of the city yet? No? Fantastic – yes, could you pick up Addie and take her with you? I got paged back to the hospital, but I'll catch you at Mom's for dinner. – We're at 5th and 57th, near that clothing store Addie likes. – Great, I owe you, man, see you."
Addison looked at him, her expression annoyed as he just stared at her expectantly. "Mark will come pick you up at the corner, he told me he's about ten minutes out, so this is perfect timing," he said when she still didn't move.
Addison snorted. "And you don't see anything wrong with that?"
Derek looked confused. "What do you mean?"
"Apart from the fact that you're practically throwing me out of your car to ditch me for work, you've just told your best friend to come pick me up at some street corner?" she asked sardonically.
"Please, Addie, there's no need for the implications. It's nine in the morning, and I don't think any hooker could afford the clothes you wear, let alone the shoes or the purse. I'm pretty sure you're good," he asked, his voice taking on an irritated quality.
"Great, thank you so much, Derek, this is exactly what I wanted to hear," she answered peeved as she stepped out of the car. "I hope you actually show up later. I've gotten used to you never being around at home, but I won't be humiliated by having to make excuses for you to your own family on Thanksgiving," she threatened before she slammed the door and stalked down the sidewalk to a little café, determined to at least get some hot chocolate for her new travel companions.
She saw Derek speed off, biting her lip to keep in an angry scream. He knew his mother didn't like her, and showing up at her place without him would be ten times worse because then Carolyn would know something was up. She spotted Mark pulling up a couple of minutes later, putting a finger to his lips as she opened the passenger door.
"She's still sleeping, and I want to keep it that way for as long as possible," he whispered, explaining the classical piano music that was playing on low volume in the car. She turned her head to get a closer look at the little girl who was sleeping peacefully in the backseat, the teddy bear Addison had gotten her back in September clutched in her little hand.
She smiled, kissing his cheek in greeting. "Have I told you how sweet you are recently?" Addison asked, her mood much improved.
"Well, just don't tell anybody, Red, it can be our little secret," he played along. "Is that coffee?"
"Juju," she explained, taking a sip from her own cup as she handed Mark his. He nodded in thanks as he merged back onto the street, slowly following the traffic out of the center. They were almost two hours into their journey as Annie slowly blinked awake in her booster seat.
"Hey sleepyhead," Addie said lowly as she turned around to smile at the little girl. "Did you have a good nap?"
The blonde toddler nodded, stretching her arms as best as possible around her seatbelt as her mouth opened around a yawn. "Still tired," she mumbled sleepily.
"Do you want to nap some more?" Addison asked as she handed her the teddy bear again. Annie cuddled the toy to her face, enjoying the softness on her skin as she resolutely shook her head.
"How long till grandma's house?" she wanted to know instead.
"Just half an hour more, honey. And then you'll meet your Grandma, and your Aunt Kathleen, and your Aunt Nancy, and your Aunt Lizzie, and your Aunt Amy, and all your uncles, and your cousins, and there will be tons of good food, and you'll play football with your dad. And everybody is just going to love you because you're the most adorable little girl of all," Addison said as Mark grinned at her.
Annie blushed a little as she giggled. "Is grandma your Mommy too, Aunt Addie?"
The redhead shook her head. "Grandma is Uncle Derek's mommy, and kind of like your daddy's mommy. But I love her a lot, too, so I call her Mom, too."
The toddler nodded. "Is your Mommy coming too? And your Daddy?"
Mark snorted as Addie hit his arm in retaliation. "My parents don't live close to Grandma's," she explained as child friendly as she could, hoping it would be enough to satisfy the little girl.
Annie looked intrigued, however. "Where do they live?"
"Oh, they live in Connecticut," she answered airily. "Maybe an hour away from where we live in New York City."
"That's less than Grandma!" Annie exclaimed excitedly. "We can go next week!"
This time, Mark laughed openly at Addison's panicked expression. "But we wanted to go ice skating next weekend, sweetheart," he said as he'd sufficiently calmed down.
Annie pouted a little. "Next next week, then," she decided authoritatively.
"Don't worry, Red," Mark whispered, "she's at that stage where next week can be anything from tomorrow to five years from now. I think you're good at least for a little while."
"I know. We had this very confusing time conversation last week when we just jumped back and forth between all kinds of events. It was really sweet, though," she said as she suddenly had to laugh a little. "Although right now I'm picturing Bizzy's face if I brought a relatively unruly toddler to the Greenwich mansion and let her run amuck arund the last century crystal vases."
"Well, there's an image that will carry you through the day," Mark agreed before they fell silent again until they pulled up to Carolyn Shepherd's house half an hour later. Addison grabbed her purse and waited for Mark whilst he got Annie out of her booster seat. The little girl took his hand, looking a bit shy in spite of herself as Addie knocked on the door. Seconds later the door opened and a short elderly woman with silvery-gray hair opened the door.
"Addison, Mark, and this must be little Annie," Carolyn greeted enthusiastically as she first hugged Mark, then Addison and waved at Annie as she let them into the house. "Addison, where is my son?"
"Oh, no worries, he'll get here soon. There were some complications at the hospital, but he said to tell you that he'll be here for dinner at the latest," the redhead answered, hoping that the smile on her lips didn't seem too forced to the astute older woman.
"Well, he has always been a little too ambitious. He works too much," Carolyn sighed before she smiled at Mark's daughter again, not quite catching the look that passed between the other two adults. "Alright, come on in, everybody. Nancy and Kathleen are already here with their kids, Liz should get here in a couple of minutes, and Amy will probably come by when the food is prepared but the football game isn't over yet."
Mark snorted a little as they followed Carolyn further into the house.
"So, how's Amy doing?" Addison asked, genuinely curious. She hadn't heard nearly enough of her favorite sister-in-law since Derek had more or less cut her out of his life and any mention of Amy usually resulted in a fight.
Her mother-in-law smiled. "Oh, you know, the usual. She's just started her residency at Johns Hopkins, still rubbing her perfect Harvard grades into everybody's face – she wants to go into neurosurgery actually. Remind you of someone?" Addison laughed at Carolyn's apt description, and Mark had to grin broadly.
"Well, that's Amy for you," he said easily. "I'm just glad she's doing alright and stuff. We should probably lobby the Chief so that he can snatch her up for her fellowship, then we'd have the epic battle of the Shepherds at our hands."
"With the Meryl Streep of maternal-fetal medicine as the clear winner of course," Addison joked back.
"Hush now, you children. Go talk to Kathleen and Nancy and the husbands, and I will take care of the little one," Carolyn broke up their banter. "Do you want some cookies, Annie?"
Annie seemed to warm up to Carolyn at that offer, following her to the counter where the elderly woman opened a cookie jar and held it out to the toddler.
"Thank you," she answered happily as she munched on the sweet treat.
"Do you want to help me with the pie for later? We need to knead the dough a little but I'm not sure if I'm strong enough on my own. And I might need your help with the ingredients, do you think you can do that?" Carolyn asked seriously. Annie nodded enthusiastically.
"Come on," Addison whispered to Mark, pulling him out of the homey kitchen by his arm. "She's in good hands, she's going to have the time of her life baking with Carolyn." They walked into the living room where Nancy and Kathleen were already mingling with their respective children and husbands.
"Hi Shepherds," Mark boomed from the doorway, causing a chorus of, "Hey Uncle Marc," and Nancy's "Hey Loser" in reply, before they saw Addie and greeted her in the same manner.
"Nancy-pants," Mark acknowledged as he hugged his surrogate sister.
"Where do you have that little girl Addie has told me so much about?" Nancy wanted to know.
Mark laughed. "Mom bribed her with cookies and then enlisted her help for whatever. She'll probably show up in a couple of minutes with another cookie in her hand."
"Where's my brother?" Kathleen asked as she took her turn hugging him.
Mark shrugged a little as he watched Addie embracing and talking to her nieces and nephews. "He's getting here in an hour, two tops. He had some kind of emergency at the hospital, so I picked up Addie and we came up here already."
He was spared the follow-up questions as the front door opened again and Liz and her family piled into the house. "Grandma," he could hear her kids screaming as they ran into the kitchen. He waited for Annie to come running to the living room to find him – she was still a little shy around strangers but as nothing happened, he made his way over to the kitchen. He found his daughter standing on a chair next to Carolyn, an adorable little apron covering her holiday outfit as she vigorously stirred something in a huge bowl, basking in the attention of her newfound aunt and cousins.
Mark smiled to himself as he slowly backed out of the kitchen again without attracting too much attention. He went to find Ryan, Jason, and Paul – Kathleen's, Liz's, and Nancy's husbands, respectively – and set up their football game that was to start in a little while, enjoying being back with Derek's – his – family. Back where he belonged.
**\\*/ *** \\*/**
"Alright, ladies, that's it," Carolyn decided as they pushed the turkey back into the oven for the last leg of the cooking time and set the side dishes aside to heat up again when the bird was ready. "Let's go see what the gentlemen have been up to in the meantime?"
"Which gentlemen? I only hear a rambunctious crowd with four overgrown teenagers," Amelia jested as she dipped her finger into some leftover icing. The youngest Shepherd sister had – as predicted – arrived shortly before the other women including Addie were finished with the preparations for their Thanksgiving dinner.
Carolyn looked indulgently at her daughter, capturing her in a one-armed hug. "As if you haven't been itching to get straight in there with the boys?"
Amy shrugged but a huge grin settled on her features as she led the way outside to the big lawn behind Carolyn Shepherd's house. She was just in time to see Jason pass the football to one of Kathleen's sons and sprinted down the field to wrestle the ball away from the thirteen-year-old.
"Aunt Amy!" he complained loudly as the others around him started laughing.
"Don't just stand there, Ricky, go get us that ball again!" his father called, spurring the boy into action again.
"Alright, spouses on opposite teams," Mark decreed. "Jason can have Amy and we'll take Addie."
"But Uncle Mark," Ricky's younger brother Andrew chimed in, "Auntie Addie wears pointy shoes and a dress, she won't be able to run!"
Addie pulled off her shoes and the nylon stockings underneath, taking off after her nephew until she caught him around the waist and started tickling him mercilessly. "You don't think I'm fast enough for you, Andy?"
"No – no," the six-year-old gasped. "You can be on our team Aunt Addie, it's alright."
Addison laughed, kissing his forehead as she put him down again. "You're right, though, I can't run in my pointy shoes, and it's too cold to go completely without, so I will get myself a pair of sneakers, and then we'll soundly defeat Aunt Amy and Aunt Nancy."
"For that comment alone I should probably not help you out, Addie," Nancy called out to her, "but if you want them, I have an old pair of sweaters and some sneakers somewhere around here, and probably even a hoodie or something you can borrow."
Addie nodded gratefully and followed the brunette back into the house, both women emerging in more football-friendly attires not even ten minutes later.
"All done with the styling already?" Mark asked mockingly. "I wish you guys would have been that fast in high school or med school, for that matter."
"Oh, shut up, Loser," Nancy teased back. "We both know that you and Derek need more time to style your hair than Addie or I ever could." Mark arranged his features into something that was supposed to resemble a sad expression, causing the whole family to start laughing again.
"Alright, are we playing or are we gossiping?" Paul called out, throwing the ball down the field, one of his younger nieces following eagerly.
They played mostly fairly for the next half an hour until Mark swung Annie up onto his shoulders as the little girl grew tired. Andrew laughed, passing the ball to Mark who handed it up to his daughter before he started down the field, skillfully circumventing the opposite defense line.
"And that was a touch down," he yelled like a stadium announcer, "masterfully achieved by Hurricane Annie," he continued with a wink to Amelia as Annie waved happily to her 'fans.'
"I think that concludes the game," Carolyn called authoritatively. "Go wash up everybody, and we'll start dinner in about half an hour."
The players slowly went off the field, patting their shoulders or – depending on the age of their offspring – herding their children inside. "Derek hasn't come yet?" Mark asked lowly as he went next to Addie into the house.
She shook her head. "But he also hasn't called yet that he won't make it, so I'm still cautiously optimistic."
"Cheer up, Red, at least you know you have a ride back to the city if everything goes wrong," he joked.
Addison nodded seriously, trying not to let her husband's absence get her down. "Thanks Mark," she said quietly as she turned to go up the stairs to Nancy's old room to change. "Do you want me to take care of Annie?"
"I've got it. Her outfit from this morning is still laid out in Derek's and my old room, so we'll be quick about it," Mark told her, watching as she followed Nancy. He helped Annie change into her clothes first and then sent her along to the living room with Liz before he put his slacks and sweater back on. When he followed them a couple of minutes later, he could hear Annie's voice and the laughter of her aunts and uncles ringing out into the hallway.
"Daddy says, 'Addie, hurry up!'" she gave a rather shrill impersonation of her father, causing the adults around her to laugh heartily as he stepped into the room, taking his seat on the sofa next to Liz.
"And when does your daddy ever get the occasion to tell Aunt Addie that she needs to hurry up?" Jason asked teasingly.
"When Aunt Addie sleeped with us," Annie answered matter-of-factly.
"Addie stayed over one night when she fell asleep after she looked after Annie for a whole day for me. And I slept on the couch," he explained firmly as he saw the shocked looks on the faces of Derek's sisters.
Kathleen cleared her throat. "Just be honest with us, Mark, how bad are things with Derek and –" She stopped abruptly as Addison came back into the room. "Addie, have you heard Annie's impersonation of her father. It's absolutely hilarious," the oldest Shepherd sister quickly changed the topic.
Addison laughed, swinging the toddler into her arms and cuddling her close to her. "I have, she's quite the little actress, isn't she?"
"Addie, sit down a second," Liz said, trying to dispel the residual awkwardness and directing the redhead to her place next to Mark, "this is such a cute picture, I just need to grab my camera. Alright, say 'cheese'!" she instructed a couple of seconds later as she focused the photo on the three smiling faces in front of her.
"I see the party's already gotten started without me," a deeper voice suddenly said from the doorway.
"Derek!" Liz exclaimed excitedly. "Sit down next to them really quickly, then you can say hi to everybody."
He did as he was told, briefly thanking Mark and putting an arm around Addie.
"This is so sweet," Nancy commented. "Annie, Addie, and the boys."
Derek laughed, getting up to hug his sisters and shake hands with his brothers-in-law as soon as Liz was finished. "It's good to see you all!"
"Oh gosh, have you said hi to Mom yet?" Kathleen asked.
Derek snorted. "Of course. You know there's no sneaking past her, whether you want to get into the house or out of it."
"Truer words have never been spoken," Amy grumbled a little sullenly as the woman in question stepped into the room.
"Alright, did you kids at least manage to lay the table before you started gossiping like a bunch of old women?" she asked teasingly.
"Done to your ridiculous standards of perfection, Mom," Mark answered, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek.
"Well, young man, once you've raised your daughter, you'll see why high standards are so important," she replied, patting his cheek gently.
"Right, Mark, after all, you wouldn't want her to hook up with a guy like you in some bar," Derek jested.
Mark looked affronted for a moment before he joked back. "Or with a guy like you, Shep, who has so many hair products for his 'complex structure' that there's no space for her stuff left in his bathroom."
Once again the whole family laughed as the adults took their places at the big table where they could keep an eye on the kids at theirs. Dinner passed with a few humorous notes about what to be thankful for and only two food fights at the kids' table, before the children broke out the boardgames and the adults opened the evening up for coffee and alcohol.
"Aunt Addie," Annie poked her arm softly, "can I sit with you?"
"Do you not want to play with the others?" Addison asked lowly.
Annie shook her head. "Tired," she mumbled, burrowing her face into the redhead's shoulder as she stroked her hair tenderly.
"Should Mark take her?" Derek asked from his seat next to her, looking at this friend opposite them, but she just shook her head.
"She doesn't bother me. We can still move her if she gets too heavy, but I like having her close, so really, it's no problem," Addie said simply. Derek nodded as he got up, squeezing her shoulder briefly. He needed to order his thoughts a little. Recently, he had felt oddly left out whenever he saw Mark, Addison, and Annie together, seeming like the perfect little family, not matter that she was married to him.
He wandered through his childhood home, marveling at the things that had stayed the same and all the changes he could spot at the time. There were photos of not only himself and his sisters lining the walls, but also of his nieces and nephews and even some of his brothers-in-law. He stopped briefly in front of a photo of Liz's daughter Jane, currently the youngest of his nieces, taken Christmas the year before when the toddler had been barely three. She had been wearing a cute little elf costume, looking altogether incredibly excited.
"It's hard to believe that it's going to be Christmas again in just a month, right?" His mother suddenly asked behind him. "And little Jane is going to start pre-school in the summer, just like Mark's daughter." He involuntarily flinched a little at the mention of Annie, but she didn't seem to notice. "So, am I going to get a couple of grandbabies from my favorite son soon?"
Derek laughed a little. "I'm your only son, Mom."
"That's not what I wanted to know, but sure, if the shoe fits," Carolyn replied easily, joining in his laughter. "Addison seems to be very caught up in little Annie, though, and you've been so good with all your nieces and nephews, and I don't know, there just seems to be some baby fever all over her face, so I thought that maybe you've talked about it?"
Derek's smile became a little more forced. "Well, I know you think you're omniscient, Mom, but in Addie's case you're wrong. She just told me two months ago that she wasn't ready yet."
"But she loves little Annie so much? I mean it's obvious to everybody, so maybe she's –" his mother pointed out.
He laughed bitterly. "Well, it seems the two are only tangentially related when it comes to my wife. She would probably mother five of Mark's children before she'd feel ready to have kids of her own."
"Oh, Derek," his mother said sadly. "If this makes you so unhappy, you have to talk to her. Addison loves you; I don't think she'd want to see you so upset about this."
He nodded, silently looking at the pictures with his mother until Mark cleared his throat behind them. Addie was standing next to him, Annie asleep in her arms.
"The little ball of energy here seems all wiped out, so I'm going to get back to the city," Mark announced. "Thank you so much for having me over, Mom, and taking care of Annie, I truly appreciate it."
"Oh, Mark, there is no need to thank me. You know that you're always welcome here," she patted his cheek lightly as she pulled him down to her so that she could hug him. "Come by anytime, I mean it."
He nodded, kissing her cheeks before he straightened up again and took Annie from Addie. The redhead briefly caressed the toddler's hair before she bent over to press a kiss to the crown of her head. "Sleep well, baby," she whispered before she too kissed Mark's cheek. "Drive safe, Mark, we'll see you sometime this weekend?"
Mark nodded, waving to Derek last. "See you around, man," he said, smiling at him before he walked out to his car.
"Do we want to get going to? It's kind of a long drive back to the city, and it's been a long month for both of us," Derek suggested.
Addison nodded. "Let me just say good-bye to the rest of the family." They went around the room, talking briefly to everybody and hugging the kids, before they went out to Derek's mother again. She embraced the both of them before she led them to the door.
"Remember what we talked about, honey," Carolyn called out before they got into their car.
"What was that about?" Addie wanted to know as they pulled away from the house.
Derek shrugged. "She wants me to talk to you about having kids again."
"What? Why?" she asked exasperatedly. "Did you tell her that we just had this conversation and I'm not ready yet?"
"I know, Addie, but Jesus, will you ever be ready? Mom's right, you so obviously love Mark's kid, so why don't you want any children of your own?" Derek asked back, his frustration seeping into his tone.
"Derek, both of us, we spent hours upon hours every week in the hospital, how would we ever fit a child into that?" she replied realistically.
"We would make it work, Addie, I know we would. We would both love the child, and the rest would find itself," he tried to reassure her.
Addison shook her head. "You cannot be serious about this, Derek!" She looked over at him, seeing his serious expression. "You are?" she said stunned. "I –" she broke off, taking a deep breath. Why did he push for this so hard, didn't he see that they were living next to each other, more like roommates in the same house than a real couple? Why bring a child into that unless they could fix their problems?
"Addie, this is something that is important to me. I want kids, and if you don't want them, then –" Derek stopped himself before posing some ultimatum, but he could see the effect on Addison anyways. The redhead had visibly paled at his words, her hands shaky as she pushed some hairs out of her face.
"No, you're right," she heard herself answering. "You should know what I want, and I do want kids, just not –"
"Just not right now," he finished for her, his voice hollow. "I know."
"You don't know. I need to get some things in order, we need to get some things in order, but – let's start trying in the spring or early summer. I promise we can start trying in the spring," she swore, suddenly feeling terrified of him leaving her. She loved Derek, she absolutely, without a doubt knew she loved Derek. Still, she was even more terrified because she knew that this was not the kind of relationship she wanted to bring a child into – at least not anymore, or at least not right now – and she had no idea how she would get herself out of this situation.
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