Jaune and Courage the Cowardly Dog
Chap 61: Journey to the Center of Nowhere
'Come on. Just a drop.' Courage grunted as he kept on pumping the well. After about ten more pumps, a single drop came out but instantly vaporized as soon as it hit the ground.
"Okay Courage. You can stop. The well is dry." I told him as I pulled him away from the well otherwise, he would've kept going on.
"This drought is really hurting everyone." Peach said as she wiped the sweat off her forehead. "How often do droughts happen here?"
"Far less than someone would expect. Since coming here, this is the first time that it happened." I answered.
"And before Jaune came here, a drought only ever happened three times here." Muriel added before turning to where Eustace was. "Eustace!"
"WHAT?" He shouted.
"The well is dry. I want you to get to work right away and dig us a new one." She answered before handing him a shovel.
"You heard her dog and kid. DIG!" Eustace shouted at us before trying to hit us by throwing the shovel at us. But failed as Peach easily caught the shovel and smacked him hard over the head. Knocking him out completely.
"He really gets on everyone nerves." Peach said disgusted before her smile returned. "If you need me, I'll be helping Muriel."
"Okay." We said as she left us to help Muriel dig out some weeds.
'Well, we both know Eustace ain't gonna dig so it's up to us.' Courage said picking up the shovel.
"Well, better get digging then." I said as I took the shovel and began to dig.
Only to forget that Courage could do it a million times better than me. As evidence by him stopping me and in less than a second, was already digging a hole ten feet deep by eight feet wide. Chucking, I threw the shovel to the side and jumped in to help him. And had I been paying attention; I would have noticed that not only had we not seen any water yet but we had dug a hole about thirty feet down.
'This is tiring.' Courage said panting.
"Let's take a moment break- do you hear that?" I began before asking.
'You mean what sounds like chanting?' He asked which I nodded. 'Sounds like it's coming from beneath us.'
"Let's check it out." I said as we dug a bit more and saw that we were right above an underground cave. But that was not what caught our attention as an underground cave was something almost normal. What really caught our attention was the fact that there were hundreds, if not thousands of living, breathing eggplants down there.
'Huh?' Courage asked confused by what we were seeing.
"We shall invade the above world. And attack the one called Muriel." The apparent leader of the eggplants declared as a screen behind them turned on to reveal Muriel talking to Eustace. About what we couldn't make out.
"Attack Muriel." The supposed second in command eggplant that almost looks deranged repeated.
"YEAH! YEAH!" All the other egg plants shouted/cheered.
'Oh, no.' Courage gasped.
"We have to warn Muriel." I said as we started to climb our way out of the hole.
Once we reached the top, we raced back to the house as quick as we could. Getting there, we headed inside the kitchen and saw Muriel and Peach sitting at the table discussing various ways on how to cook an eggplant.
"If you cook it like this, the eggplant comes out nice and juicy yet crispy and tender." Peach said pointing to something in the book Muriel was holding.
"Ooh. Your right." She replied before noticing us. "Oh, your both back."
"Yes. And you're not going to believe what we discovered." I told them while Courage ran off into another room before coming back dressed in an eggplant costume.
'Bad eggplants. Bad.' He tried to explain.
"You're trying to tell me something about the eggplant, aren't you?" She asked.
"Yes." I answered.
'Uh-huh. Uh-huh.' Courage nodded as well.
"I know what you both are trying to tell me." She said smiling.
'YES!' Courage cheered.
"Wait for it." I whispered to him as I knew what was going to come.
"And the answer is yes." Muriel said while putting the book down.
'Huh?' Courage asked confused.
"Of course, you both can have some of the eggplant." She continued.
'NO!' Courage wailed in dismay.
"Told you." I whispered to him.
"Don't worry. There will be enough for everyone." Muriel said before getting up and leaving the room.
'Now what?' Courage asked.
"Maybe explain what you meant by bad eggplants?" Peach suggested.
"While Courage and I were digging a new hole for the well, we got carried away and dug much deeper than we needed. But after stopping to take a quick breather, we heard some chanting from beneath us. We decided to take a look and saw actual living eggplants. And they are about to come to the surface to attack Muriel. Sounds farfetched but that's what happened. Right Courage?" I explained.
'Uh-huh. Uh-huh.' Courage nodded.
"Honestly, it does sound farfetched. If we were in Remnant. But since we are in Nowhere, where more weird and creepy mysterious stuff happens than anywhere in the world, this seems plausible." She said after giving it a thought.
"That's true." I said agreeing with her.
'What should we do?' Courage asked.
"Take me to see them. And then we can see where we go from there." She answered. We nodded but before we could take her there, Eustace barged in.
"You loafing dog and kid. Didn't I-WOAH!" He began shouting but was cut off when Peach grabbed his arm and easily threw him out the open window.
"One of these days, I'm tempted to take him back to Beacon so everyone can teach him a lesson." She said irritated.
"Well, follow us." I told her. She nodded and we ran outside back to the well.
"Damn." She muttered under breath at seeing how deep the hole was. Nodding, we began to climb down the hole. After a few minutes, we reached the bottom of the hole we could hear the eggplants. Moving a bit, we could now see them clearly as well.
"BABI! When do we attack?" An eggplant shouted.
"Yeah Babi. When?" The second in command eggplant asked.
"Patience. Ratatouille. We shall attack when the great eggplant comes. TO LEAD THE WAY!" Babi answered.
"So, it seems they even have a religion. Interesting." Peach said fascinated but also worried at what she was seeing.
'Oh!' Courage suddenly gasped. Quickly looking over to him, we saw that he lost his grip and started to fall down through the ground and landed near Babi and the other eggplants.
"Shit." I muttered when the eggplants gasped. I was about to jump down as well but peached stopped me.
"Look." She said quietly. Looking back, I saw that all the eggplants seemed to be staring in awe at Courage. Not malice.
"IT'S THE GREAT EGGPLANT!" One of the eggplants gasped.
"IT'S HIM! IT'S HIM!" Another shouted.
"The great eggplant." Yet another gasped.
"Huh. Who would've thought a dime store eggplant costume would work in espionage." I said amazed while Peach chuckled a bit.
"MY FRIENDS! THE GREAT EGGPLANT HAS ARRIVED!" Babi declared. "The time has come for the great eggplant to lead us to the surface to destroy Muriel."
'The great eggplant really thinks you guys need some more training before you go up there.' Courage quickly told the eggplants.
"The great eggplant has spoken." Babi declared.
"Train us, oh, peppy one." Ratatouille cheered.
"This should be good." Peach said leaning closer.
'All right. Do as the great eggplant does.' Courage told them.
And then began the weirdest and funniest training session. First Courage made them run in place. Then he made them started squatting against the floor. Well, more so slamming their butts against the floor. After that, he made them spin in a circle on the ground while screaming as well. I should also mention, they were doing a version of Simon says as well. Considering Courage kept on saying, 'The great eggplant says.' And the eggplants proved they were much smarter than they appear as they did not do one exercise when Courage did not say 'The great eggplant says.'
"I think we have demonstrated our physical condition to The Great Eggplant. Well, sir? Are you ready to lead the attack?" Babi asked.
'Um, I am. But fellow eggplants. Please hear me. The one called Muriel is not our true enemy.' Courage told them which caused them to gasp in shock. 'I shall lead you to our true foe.'
"YES! Lead us." A random eggplant yelled.
"Who is it? Who is it?" Another asked.
"We shall defeat our foes!" A third eggplant declared.
'The true enemy has crated us and callously sold us as food.' Courage told them.
"WHO IS IT?" An eggplant asked.
'We must attack the grocery store.' Courage answered which caused all the eggplants to cheer.
"ATTACK!" Some of them even chanted as well.
'Follow me.' Courage ordered before leaving. For a brief moment, Peach and I though the problem was taken care of. But that went out the window when Babi became suspicious when he saw something protruding from Courage's costume. He went up and saw that it was a ticket for the costume.
'Oh, no.' I thought worried when Babi tore the costume off Courage.
"This is not the great eggplant. This is not even a pretty good eggplant." Babi said disgusted which caused shocked gasped and mummers from the other eggplants.
"I've seen this one on the surface. With the one called Muriel." Ratatouille said while picking Courage up by the ear.
"I knew it. The cunning Muriel sent a spy down to lead us off her trail. Well, it won't work. Tie up the spy." Babi ordered. Some eggplants came and tied Courage up with some vines. "No more waiting for the great eggplant. Fellow eggplants. ATTACK!"
"YEAH!" The rest of the eggplants shouted before they left the cave. We waited for a few minutes to make sure they left before Peach and I jumped down to help Courage.
"That was something." I said as I untied Courage.
'Thanks.' He said as he stretched a bit and reinflated himself.
"But now, we have to save Muriel. The eggplants are probably almost at the house as we speak." Peach reminded us.
'But how are we going to stop them?' Courage asked.
We stayed silent for a moment before sighing as we knew that the only thing that could help us is the computer. Going to the side of the cave, we began to climb back up into the tunnel we dug. But as we climbed up, we saw Eustace's body dangling. Confused, Courage dug us another path around him. Getting to the surface, we saw that the eggplants buried him. Hearing some shouting, we turned around and saw that the eggplants had already capture Muriel. Luckily though, we were given some time as the eggplants started arguing on how to cook Muriel. With one side saying to grill her while the other side saying they should fry her. Not wasting a moment, we ran around them while making sure not to get spotted and entered the house. Running up the stairs, we entered my room and quickly turned on the computer.
'Computer. How do you get rid of bad eggplants?' Courage typed in.
'Throw them in the garbage. You twit.' It answered which made us facepalm.
"No, you idiot. Bad eggplants that attack people." I told it while Courage typed it in.
'Oh, well. That's different. Eggplants only attack when they run out of water.' The computer told us.
'Water. Of course.' Courage said realizing the solution.
'Of course. Of course. What do I look like... a toaster?' The computer asked. Annoyed, we flipped its switch off while ignoring its protest.
"I do wonder though, how does it know all this stuff like it's common knowledge?" Peach asked curious.
"We have no idea. I'm pretty sure it has the secret to the universe. But that is a discussion for another time. Right now, we need to get water to those eggplants." I told her as we exited my room. Heading outside, we ran over to where Eustace was.
'We'll be back. We must look for water.' Courage said while wiping Eustace's forehead with a wet towel. He then threw away the towel before digging into the ground to look for water.
"Should we help him?" Peach asked referring to Eustace.
"Nah." I answered as we made our way next to the well. We waited for Courage but began to panic when the eggplants came to a compromise on how to cook Muriel. Luckily, Courage came back just in time.
"Did you find some?" Peach asked.
'Yes. Just need the eggplants attention.' He answered while beginning to pump the lever of the well.
"HEY EGGPLANTS!" I shouted getting their attention.
"It looks like Muriel has more helpers. And they freed the spy. Get them!" Babi ordered.
The other eggplants charged at us. But they were all stopped when water gushed forward from the well in a large amount. So much that it covered the ground completely. For a moment at least before quickly sinking back into the ground. But that was all we needed as the eggplants 'legs' started to take root into the ground.
"We're taking root." Babi exclaimed.
"Yes. This feels nice." Ratatouille said relaxed.
"Mmmm. Yeah. Grow baby. Grow." Babi said in a bliss like tone.
"What a nice garden you have Muriel." Ratatouille told her.
"Very nice. The soil is so warm and comfy." Babi added.
"They seem like such nice eggplants." Muriel said as we untied her before helping her up. "It would be a shame to cook them."
"I have an idea." Peach told us.
Next Day
"And the award for eggplant most likely to succeed, goes to Babighanoush. Raised by our own Muriel Bagge." The announcer declared. We were at the annual eggplant completion. Peach's plan was to put them in a contest to help raise money for them.
"And the award for most surliest eggplant. Eustace Bagge." The announcer declared. Looking to the side, we saw Eustace still buried in the tunnel the eggplants buried him in.
"I HATE EGGPLANTS!" He shouted bitterly. We all just laughed at him before turning back around to accept the award.
Note:
(1) Heads of Beef with Sun and Neptune. (2) Forbidden Hat of Gold with Oobleck and Port and Iris. (3) Invisible Muriel. (4) Courage the Fly with Ruby and Weiss. (5) Everyone wants to direct with Weiss and Winter. (6) Klub Katz with Saphron, Terra and Adrian, (7) Ball of Revenge with Team Rwby, Team Npr and Iris.