Jaune and Courage the Cowardly Dog
Chap 62: Heads of Beef
"Oh." Muriel moaned.
"This isn't good." I said as I took the thermometer out from her mouth and saw that she had a fever before placing it back in her mouth.
"WHERE'S MY DINNER!" Eustace demanded. "You were going to make hamburgers."
"Make it yourself ass." I told him as I adjusted the ice pack on Muriel's head.
'Is there a doctor in the house?' Courage asked as he adjusted the blanket for Muriel.
"Ah, you both are dears." Muriel weakly told us.
"Well, if you ain't feeding me. I'm going out to get something to eat." Eustace shouted while throwing down his newspaper in frustration.
"Ungrateful ass." I muttered under my breath. Only reason was because Muriel was next to us.
"It would be lovely if you could bring me a scone from the sweet stuff bakery." Muriel told him.
"Ah. Okay." Eustace relented before exiting the house.
"Can you two go along? He always forgets to get the right thing." Muriel asked us
'Oh! I know I'm not going to like this.' Courage whined.
"Neither will I. Let's just get this over with." I told him as I put the leash on him before we exited the house.
Twenty Minutes Later
"Hey. We just passed the bakery." I told Eustace as we passed the sweet stuff bakery.
'But-But-But!' Courage tried to get Eustace attention.
"SHUT IT! Gotta get me a hamburger first." He said laughing.
'Where do you think he is taking us?' Courage asked.
"No clue." I answered. "I just hope we get there soon. As the soon we get there, the sooner he gets his burger which means the sooner we can get the scone for Muriel."
"Now. Where is that—There she be!" Eustace exclaimed suddenly. Looking forward, we saw a roadside sign that said 'Burgers! Really Cheap.' "Burgers. Really cheap. That's for me."
"He really is a cheap ass." I whispered to Courage who nodded in agreement as Eustace pulled up into the parking lot. As he parked the truck, we heard Courage's stomach growl a bit.
"Hungry, eh? Stupid dog." Eustace mocked.
Rolling our eyes, I grabbed Courage's leash as we got out of the truck. Walking up to the door, we entered the dinner and sat down on the bar stools. But as we sat down, we heard the door open again. Turning around, we saw some familiar faces.
"Hey Jaune." Sun and Neptune greeted as they sat down next to me and Courage.
"Hey Sun. Neptune." I greeted back while Courage smiled.
"I can't wait." Eustace said impatiently.
"How's it been going you two?" Neptune asked.
"Weird." We answered.
"I bet." Sun said chuckling.
"How about you two? How's the business going?" I asked.
"A bit slow. But gaining traction." Sun answered.
"That's good to hear." I said.
"Enough of that. What's good here?" Neptune asked.
"Not sure. But judging from the name, I would say the burgers." I answered.
"Ho, Ho, Ho. You'd be right." A new voice spoke up. Turning back around, we saw a giant pig barge through the door. "Welcome. Welcome to Jean Bon's. Home of the best looking, juiciest burgers in all of Nowhere. What's your pleasure?"
"All right," Neptune said excitedly.
"Excuse me." The man next to us interjected. "Where's the bathroom?'
"Behind the door." Jean Bon answered while pointing to the red door on the other end of the room. The man got up and entered the door.
"My name is Jean Bon. My names French. Well, I'm not but it has a nice ring. Jean Bon. Jean Bon..." Jean began but was interrupted by an irritated Eustace.
"Ooh, I want to eat!" He shouted.
"What can I get you?" Jean asked.
"Burger. Big and juicy." Eustace answered.
"One burger big and juicy. What about those two?" Jean asked after writing down Eustace's order.
"Kid gets a small one. Dog gets smallest one you got." Eustace answered.
"How about you two? Are you two with them?" Jean asked Sun and Neptune.
"No. Separate." Sun answered.
"What can I get you two then?" Jean asked.
"Two medium burgers and a soda with each." Sun answered.
"Got you. Coming right out." Jean answered before heading back into the kitchen. Everything was silent from that point as we waited for our food.
'Weird.' Courage suddenly said.
"What's weird?" Sun asked.
'The guy hasn't come back yet.' He answered.
"Maybe he doing the other business." I suggested.
'Maybe.' Courage said nervously. Hearing the door open, we saw Jean come back and began wiping down the counter. We thought nothing of it at first until he took the man's hat and briefcase. He clearly saw us looking at him as his eyes widen in shock.
'OH!' Courage gasped.
"Um." I said getting his attention.
"I'll hold it until he gets back." He said before returning to the kitchen.
"WHERE'S MY BURGER!" Eustace demanded.
"Coming right up." Jean called out.
'Something smells fish or my name is stinky lulu. And thank goodness it's not.' Courage told us as Jean reappeared with a tray containing five burgers and two drinks.
"Finally." Eustace said excitedly as he received his burger.
"Thanks." I said as Courage and I received ours.
"Thanks." Sun and Neptune said as well when they received theirs.
"Wow. This is pretty good." I said as I began to eat my burger.
"Damn good." Sun agreed as he basically tore through his burger.
'AAHHH!' Courage suddenly screamed in horror.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Is there anything wrong?" Jean asked as well.
'No, no, no.' Courage quickly answered.
"It's my wife's special. A head of beef." Jean told us.
"Your wife really made a good recipe." Neptune added.
"Thanks. I'll tell her that later." Jean replied with a smile before entering the kitchen again.
"Why did you scream Courage?" Sun asked.
'Saw the man's head.' He answered while pointing to the burger meat. And to our shock, we did see a face there that looked like the man that has been gone a while now.
"That's disturbing." Neptune commented while putting down his burger.
"SHUT IT! ALL OF YOU!" Eustace yelled annoyed. Courage then tried to get his attention and tell him the same thing. But Eustace got even more annoyed. He then pulled out his mask and scared Courage.
'AAAHHHH!' Courage screamed before running away.
"Ass." I told Eustace as I chased after Courage who ran to the other side of the diner.
"You okay Courage?" Neptune asked.
'Fine. It's not the first time he's done this.' He answered.
"You know, the guy has been gone for a while. And with Jean taking the men's belongings away, I'm starting to suspect something is not right." Sun remarked.
"Your right. And I think we can find some answers on the other side of the door." I said as I opened the door. Taking a look, we saw that everything was really dark and we could barely see anything.
'I know we shouldn't. Careful. There's some stairs.' Courage warned as he started to make his way down slowly.
"I got a solution." Neptune said as he took out his scroll and activated the flashlight function.
Allowing us to see more clearly and not fall down the apparently steep as hell stairs. Going down the steps, soon reached the bottom and looked around but saw nothing of interest aside from a single door on the other side. Seeing a light coming from the door, we slowly and quietly made our way over. Once there, we easily heard Jean speaking to someone.
"A mighty fine specimen. Wouldn't you say dear?" He asked.
"I love it. I love it. I love it." A lady answered. Peeking through the crack, while we did not see anybody, we did see Jean's shadow and the lady he's talking to. In the center was the shadow of something we could not identify. "Delicious."
'EEE!' Courage screamed but I quickly covered his mouth so we don't give ourselves away.
"Dear. We have a new costumer. He has... possibilities." Jean told the lady.
"Mmm. Mmm. Yummy." The lady replied.
"And he has the cutest little dog and kid with him." Jean added. "I know how much you've been wanting a dog and kid."
"DOG! KID!" The lady gasped. "I haven't had dog or kid in a long time."
"That sounds just wrong." Neptune said trying to suppress a shiver.
"And I don't think we want to know or stay here." Sun added.
'AAAHHHH!' Courage screamed before running out of the room. Not wanting to risk it, we ran after him and quickly closed the door.
"YAH!" Eustace shouted. Looking over to him, we saw that Courage jumped onto his head but got thrown off. "Can't you see I'm eating?"
"I don't think you want to eat that burger if you knew what it's possibly made out of." Neptune added.
"Stupid dog and kids." Eustace argued before resuming and quickly finishing his burger.
"On the house." Jean suddenly said as he appeared with yet another burger.
"That's might neighborly." Eustace said before eating the new burger.
"When you're done. My wife would love to meet you." Jean told him.
"Yeah. Yeah." Eustace said not caring as he resumed eating.
"Well, it looks like your all-finished eating. My wife would love to meet all of you." Jean said turning to us. He then jumped over the counter. "Right now."
"No thanks." Sun said for all of us.
"My wife is very fond of little dogs and kids." Jean told us as he almost creepily walked towards us.
'NO!' Courage screamed as we back up to the door again.
"Maybe another time." I said as I quickly opened the door for us to go through. However, we all tried to get through at the same time which caused us to fall down the stairs quite painfully.
"Ow!" We all grunted in pain as we slowly got up.
"Ha, ha, ha." Jean laughed as he slowly went down the steps.
'AAHHHH!' Courage screamed in terror.
"Move." Neptune shouted as we tried to run away. Only to realize we were trapped as we came across the room we saw earlier and saw there was no exit in there was well. Not to mention, the lady from before was in there as well.
"I love it. I love it. I love it." She said as she started assembling something. "Delicious."
"Damn." I muttered under my breath at seeing the lady basically devour the entire things in one bite.
"Watch out." Sun shouted as he pushed me and Courage to the side to avoid getting grabbed by Jean.
"Come on. We just want to meet you." He said as he began to chase around the room.
"No thanks. Maybe some other time." We replied as we kept running away from him. Not realizing we could run up the stars to escape.
"Come on. I want you all to meet my wife. She has plans for you." He persisted. Yet we just kept on running away from him. Only stopping when we didn't pay attention and ran straight into the wall.
'EEEE!' Courage screeched in terror.
'Come on.' I thought trying to see if there was a way out. But then I saw it. Reaching up, I pulled on a door in the wall the let out an ironing board right on top of Jean's head. Knocking him out and allowing us to catch a breath.
"Nice one Jaune." Neptune said panting.
"Thanks." I replied. We were about to return upstairs but stopped when we heard a new voice call out.
"Sweetie? Did you bring me that dog and kids.?" The voice called out. Turning around, we saw that it was Jean's wife coming from the next room over.
"I'm all right my dumpling. Here's the kids and dog you wanted." Jean answered as he got up while rubbing his head.
"What a cute little dog and kid. I could just eat them up." She said all too happily.
"NOPE!" We all shouted before running up the stairs and out of the dinner. We tried to take Eustace with us but he resisted. Seeing Jean and his wife nearing us, we left him and ran away from the place as fast as we could. Sun and Neptune heading in another direction while Courage and I headed to the sweet stuff bakery.
One Hour Later
"Don't worry you two. I'm sure Eustace is fine." Muriel said as she drank some tea, we made her. "He always gets lost when I send him out for scones."
'I doubt that.' Courage said shivering.
"How was the scone, Muriel?" I asked her as I tried to calm myself down by drinking some tea as well.
"Delicious." She answered. Nodding, we continued to watch the movie that was which just so happened to be a horror movie about zombies eating people. Just our luck. Well, I didn't plan on sleeping anyway as I am meeting up with Iris later.
Note:
(1) Forbidden Hat of Gold with Oobleck and Port and Iris. (2) Invisible Muriel (3) Courage the Fly with Ruby and Weiss. (4) Everyone wants to direct with Weiss and Winter. (5) Klub Katz with Saphron, Terra and Adrian. (6) Ball of Revenge with Team Rwby, Team Npr and Iris.