While snowflakes fell onto the white landscape, Gohan sat inside the entrance building, sipping a cup of steaming sweetened tea. Ice crystals on his forehead and hair thawed.

Cus filled a cup to the brim, then drank with her pinky finger extended. "Mmmm, tasty. Thanks for the tea."

"You're welcome," 18 said. "Now are you going to start talking?"

"Yep, I am," she said with an extremely cheesy smile. "First let me properly introduce myself." Her fingers clicked. "Hmm, I know, let's play a game." White smoke puffed, and a thirty-inch white board came into existence from nothing. Followed by a pack of colored markers. And an eraser.

Gohan thought, After this, I've definitely seen it all.

Cus drew a horizontal line, which connected to a longer, vertical line, which connected to another horizontal line, and finally a short vertical line. "This game is called Hangman. You should know it." She dashed five spaces for letters. "Guess what I am."

18 looked like she wanted to say something in annoyance but instead played coy: "A."

"Lucky," Cus chirped and marked in the letter on the leftmost spot. Her handwriting was a practiced artsy script.

Gohan said, "E."

"Right again." The letter was marked.

A _ _ E _

Hastily, 18 listed, "I, O, U."

"Wrong, wrong, wrong." Cus's tongue clicked as she drew the stick man's head, torso, and right arm. "Three more wrong guesses and you lose."

Gohan asked in a careful voice, "What will happen if we lose?"

"A hanged man, of course, and you're the only one of us here who is even close to a man, Gohan."

18's fingers twitched as she said, "Enough games. If Babidi did send you here to kill us, I'll be your first opponent."

Cus only giggled. "I hear you, but what's your next guess?"

18 was about to stand as Gohan took hold of her hand. For once, her palm was slick and not from the tea or condensation. He amicably said, "I know you're just kidding, Cus. I trust Dende. He was worried about something, but I have the feeling it's not because you're a danger to us or Earth. So my next guess is G, the first letter of my name and my dad's name."

"Lucky again," Cus said, waving a finger. "But how will our two contestants fare on the last two letters?"

A _ G E _

Gohan's sat straighter in surprise. Two possible words pieced together. One was ANGER. In tandem with 18, he said, "Angel."

"We have our two winners, Gohan and Lazuli!" Cus hopped to her feet and did a graceful twirl. "Congratulations, for you have won yourselves a story of truth. First off, I am indeed angel." Her energy suddenly vanished, and her skin became much more blue, the same blue as Whis's. A similar ring faded in around her neck.

"Are you like King Kai?" Gohan asked.

"Nope, and don't interrupt." Cus dropped back onto her chair, picked up her white board, and drew two plain empty boxes, the market tip squeaking. "This square represents the reality I'm from, and this one is your reality." In the second box, she drew twenty-four circles arranged in twelve groups of two. She numbered the circles. "These are all the universes in your reality, but they come in connected pairs, so it's only really twelve if you think about it." She began crossing out universes. "Thirteen of twenty-four universes have been erased, inclu—"

"By Majin Buu and Babidi? We'll stop him." Gohan couldn't stop himself.

Cus plucked the green marker, and before he could react, she threw it at his forehead with such agility that he couldn't even see the plastic tube coming at him. The impact rocked his skull. The pain was delayed. No blood, but his skin was dented. "Arhhh, that hurt."

"Told you not to interrupt."

18 sneered at him smugly, although there was hidden worry in her eyes. "Carry on, Cus. Your story is getting good."

The green marker floated back to Cus's hand. "As I was saying, thirteen universes have been erased, including the one I usually spent my time at. Six were erased many, many, many millions of years ago. Another six later on. Then one last week, Earth time. This was no Majin Buu's doing." She paused for a sip of tea.

Gohan kept his teeth clamped on his tongue. A billion questions bulged in his head.

Cus grabbed the eraser and rubbed off the empty box, her reality. In the box with the universes, she drew a cartoonish humanoid with a purple and blue head. "This is your highest god, Grand Zeno. This is the truest truth that I can tell you: reality is a child's game to him, and he treats it as such. The goal of the game is to guide universes to develop high-quality civilizations." She scribbled numbers below non-erased universes. "These are what we call mortal levels, which are pretty precise summations of quality. Selfless and kind use of technology and fighting power contribute to a high mortal level. Evil acts does the opposite, buuut, some evil acts are more heinous simply because it's how the game is set up, such as selfish, evil uses of the dragon balls. Know what I mean, Gohan?"

A cold weight bent his shoulders. The guilty knot in his gut tightened like never before. "How much did I subtract from our mortal level?"

Cus said too happily, "It used to be, rounded to two decimal points, three point zero nine." She pointed to the seventh universe. "As you can see, it's now two point nine eight. Almost all of that decrease was because of your wish for eternal youth."

18 argued, "You can't say it was all out of selfishness. He made the sacrifice for me."

He could barely nod.

The marker spun on Cus's palm. "Oh, yes, don't think we're mistaken, since your intention was taken into account; Zeno's magic is never wrong. If your intention behind the wish is actually to rule the universe for all of eternity and you then start ruling most evilly, your mortal level would likely be chopped to less than a third of what it is now. If that happens… Weeeeell…"

"Well what?" Gohan could guess but didn't want to say it.

Cus refilled her tea cup, saying, "Don't tell anyone this, not even Dende or your Kais. A universe which sinks below a mortal level of one is deemed not worth the effort of helping. Zeno simply erases it. The whole universe is gone in a beautiful, tearful flash of light."

Gohan's knuckles cracked. "Just like that? No warning? No second chance?"

"No warning. No more chances."

"What about all the innocent people? You can't say everyone is evil."

Cus smirked. "To be stupidly blunt, anyone living in such an unkind universe would want to be put out of their misery." She pointed to a pair of crossed-out circles—universe 21 and 22. "These were the first to go, rightly so. Just thinking about them gives me the shivers. Aww, don't give me those faces. If you had seen them, you would've also wanted to get rid of the whole thing. Something was very, very wrong with their Kais. They were a lost cause from the start."

18 said, "I've never seen our Kais before. Are they supposed to be helping?"

Cus nodded cutely. "They for sure should be."

"Where were they went Cell was chasing me?" Her voice now held more emotion than Gohan had yet heard. "Where were they Doctor Gero kidnapped and experimented on me? Is there something very wrong with our Kais as well? I see our mortal level is one of the lowest."

Cus's eyes wandered and rolled in a uncertain way. She tapped a marker against her chin, then said, "I'm not sure about your first two questions, but to answer your third, your Kais have decided to take a watch-and-see approach. They think mortals should teach themselves right and wrong. You know, learn and grow from one's mistake. Any suffering you go through is a lesson of life, yada, yada." Her mouth made a popping sound. "Oh right, Majin Buu took out a bunch of your Kais five million years ago, including your Supreme Kai and his four students except the youngest." She hastily drew five figures, one fatter than the others. She pointed at the shortest male. "That's him, the Kai in charge of things, Shin."

Gohan offered, "My dad said he talked to Shin about Majin Buu. He's coming here to help. He can't be that bad."

"He tries his best, buuut it's not enough. It's so sad." Cus pouted.

Gohan said in a low voice, "Majin Buu is that powerful?"

Cus shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't been assigned to this universe yet. I was guiding the one erased last week, and it was going so well too." A smidgen of genuine sadness entered her voice and expression. "Don't bring it up. I don't like thinking about it."

18 asked, "Then are you also here to help our universe? Are you with Beerus and Whis?"

Cus's face brightened. "The other day, Whis told me of a civilization where the food is better than anywhere else in all of the multiverse—right here." She licked her lips. "Yamcha's spicy beef was the best dish yet! You two should be proud of your world, really." She sipped tea.

So did 18. "You haven't answered; are you here to help us? I can sense you are at least a thousand times more powerful than me."

Cus slowly said, "I wonder… When are you going to ask the big question? Hmmmm?"

Wires connected in Gohan's skull. He should've asked earlier. "Who is Beerus? Is he one of Shin's students?"

"Ding! Ding! Ding!" Cus's hands loudly clapped together. "Beerus is exactly why I'm here." She grabbed a purple marker and drew a sleeping Beerus in a white nightgown. She connected Beerus and the fattest Kai with a rope around their waists. "The Supreme Kai's job is to positively guide civilizations; he has Zeno's power of creation but weaker. The Lord of Destruction's job is to get rid of baddies at his discretion; he has a flashier purple version of Zeno's erasing power, weaker of course." She drew Whis next to Beerus. "Us angels are here to guide and train the Lords of Destruction. My father is Zeno's assistant."

So Beerus was a good guy. New relief bolstered Gohan's confidence. "That's why Beerus was here looking for Buu—to destroy Babidi and Buu."

"Yep." Cus drew a megaphone in Shin's grasp. "I'm pretty sure Shin woke him up for this, but he gave up and went right back to sleep. Heh."

18 said, "Then wake him up again."

"There's a little problem." Cus drew a gravestone next to Beerus. "Don't worry, he's not dead… yet. But he's getting old, and when his species gets old, they tend to sleep a lot. I mean a lot. He once fell asleep for fifty years and made Zeno quite mad."

Gohan asked, "How old is he?"

"Almost as old as the universes. He was one of the first Lord of Destructions. Divine power slows his aging, but it's still amazing how long he's lived."

"You mentioned his species?" 18 said, frowning. "Is he not like the Kais?"

"Nope." Cus drank, then refilled her cup but found the kettle was empty. "Awww, we're out of tea. Anywho, a Lord of Destruction is chosen from the mortal populace. Don't ask me why; that's how the game of reality is set up. Beerus is a mutant with unusually high potential for his species. He is supposed to train a successor; howeveeer, the guy he was looking at is kinda dead. I'm pretty sure it was someone by the name… Freeza. Yep, that's right. Freeza."

"What?!" Gohan's fist slammed the table, the porcelain clinking. "Why was he looking at Freeza? He was the most evil tyrant in the universe! He was going to wish for immortality with the dragon balls. He must've been tanking our mortal level. I bet he is the reason why we were only three point nine!"

Cus's tongue clicked. "Which is why Beerus was only looking at him. There was no one else nearly strong enough for the job. Until now!" She pointed at Gohan. "With your potential and pure heart and newfound eternal youth, you'll do greatly for the job. I talked to my father, and he talked to Zeno, and long story short, I'm going to take over for Whis and train you. How does that sound? Super amazing? I know it does!"

18 immediately asked, "What about me?"

Cus abruptly appeared next to her. "Hmmmmmm. Hmmmmm. Hmmmmm." Cus gently poked 18's arm. "Hmmmm. I guess you can also be a candidate. If Gohan becomes the next Lord of Destruction, you can be the candidate in waiting. Works the other way around too. Yep, that'll do."

That was very easy. Too easy. Too agreeable. There had to be a catch. Gohan thought carefully, then asked, "Why didn't Whis ask me? Why didn't Beerus?"

Cus appeared next to him, standing quite close. She blinked absently. "What do you mean? He did ask you. He asked if you were this world's strongest guardian. Your answer and attitude was kind of frail and watery. But I believe I can whip you into shape. Like whipping milk into thick cream. I'd like some cream tea."

Gohan's forehead lumped up. "And Vegeta? I know he used to be evil, but he's changed. He even has a family."

"Heh. You should've seen how scared he was when Beerus knocked on his gravity room."

Vegeta. Scared. That combination of words couldn't be possible. "That can't be right."

"I was there. Just invisible." She smiled widely. "So do you accept, Gohan? If not, I'll go ask your father, and then Vegeta if I have to. I might have to alter your memory of this conversation too. So… please accept after I went to the trouble of explaining everything." She appeared back at her seat, picked up markers, and drew Gohan in a similar outfit to Beerus. "It could be you, Gohan. Or you, Lazuli. Lord of the Universe."

He took a steadying breath. This was all a lot to take in, a lot to consider. He could say no and still be a professor of biology for a decade or two. This sounded like the perfect job for Father or Vegeta.

18 said, "I imagine the pay is better than any job in the universe. I can demand gifts like Beerus does, yes?"

"Yep." Cus nodded twice. "How you do the job is up to you. You also get a palace of your design."

18 was highly pleased: "Then I accept. Register me as a candidate, please."

A primal worry took hold of Gohan's stomach and balls, fear that he was losing his sexier-than-imaginable girlfriend. He said in a deep man's voice, "Cus, I have decided I will be the next Lord of Destruction. You can give me the uniform now."

Cus's fists shook in excitement. "Yay! I'm so glad I wasn't wasting time drawing all that for you." She stood, and a staff, exactly like Whis's, materialized in her grasp. "I'll tell Whis and my father the good news. Be back in a bit." White light flashed.

Gohan sat there unmoving, pondering what he had just done, staring at the cartoony drawings on Cus's white board. For one, he wasn't going to be a professor anymore. What was Mother going to say? She wasn't going to be happy about losing her son to divine duty in this twisted game of reality, but at least 18 looked impressed; that counted for more than anything else.

Author's Notes: Training arcs won't be skipped, just in like DBZ. Although there will be a few timeskips.