Jaune and Courage the Cowardly Dog
Chap 71: Evil Weevil
"So, he's in prison?" I asked shocked.
"Yes. He's being held in one of the most secure Atlas prisons we have." Winter answered.
"That's good. Won't have to deal with him again or at least any time soon." I said relieved.
It was two weeks since the sweet stuff and Katz attempt to get Muriel's secret ingredient. Since then, he disappeared and we haven; seen him since. That is until today where Weiss and Winter decided to pay a visit together. And after a bit of talking, they told me that they discovered Katz just outside the Atlas Kingdom and without hesitation arrested him. Right now, though, we were heading back to the farmhouse from the groceries so Muriel can make dinner.
"And from what Wiess told me, I have enough evidence to arrest Eustace as well. If you're interested." Winter added.
"As much as I would love for Eustace to be gone, him being taken away would break Muriel." I answered.
"The offer remains if you change your mind." Winter said with a smile. Though, that turned to confusion and slight worry when we hit something. As evident by the squelching sound that greeted our ears.
"What was that?" Weiss asked as she fixed the groceries that fell.
"I think you hit something. Or someone." Muriel said worried.
"Watch it." Weiss shouted when Eustace did a sharp U-turn before driving forward a bit. Looking around, we saw that we did indeed hit something. Getting out, we walked up to it with Muriel and Courage coming up as well.
"Oh, my." Muriel gasped when we realized that we hit a giant bug.
"Hello." The bug greeted weakly.
"Are you okay?" Winter asked.
"But for the fractured thorax, the ruptured rostrum, and the shredded forewing. Not to mention a nasty swelling in most of my ankles—I'm fine." It answered.
"Considering what you just said, I doubt you are fine." Winter remarked.
"We better take you home and make sure you're okay." Muriel said worried. "We live just up the road."
"MURIEL? MURIEL! GTE YOUR FOOD MAKING MITTS BACK INTO THIS TRUCK AND LET'S GO HOME!" Eustace shouted from his truck.
"I was just going to make dinner. Why don't you join us?" Muriel offered.
'I don't have a good feeling about this.' Courage warned.
"Me neither." I agreed.
"Have you ever seen this kind... of bug before Jaune?" Weiss asked.
"No. I haven't seen a type of bug like this before. Also, are you okay Wiess?" I asked as I noticed that she was trembling lightly.
"I... don't like...bugs." She admitted.
"I don't want to impose." The bug told Muriel. "Although I am feeling a tad peaked."
"Peaked?" Weiss asked confused. Though, her eyes never left the bug.
"Marvelous." Muriel said while clasping her hands. She then motioned for the bug to follow back to the truck.
"I don't trust that bug." Winter said through narrow eyes.
"Something just feels off with him." I agreed with Courage nodding.
"Let's just squish it now." Weiss suggested.
"Calm yourself Weiss. I know bugs can be gross but still." Winter chided. Weiss nodded before taking a deep breath calming herself.
"Right. Let's head back to the truck and back to the farm." She said with new resolve. Only for that to go out the window when she got near the bug. Needless to say, it was a long and tense trip back home.
One Hour and Half Later
"I'm a weevil actually. A Jeeves Weevil." The bug answered while wiping his 'mouth' with a napkin. We were back at the house and just finished dinner. Well, most of us as Weiss is still eating. Well, not really as she spent more time watching the bug than eating.
"I never heard of a Jeeves Weevil." Muriel admitted as she gathered the plates.
"Commonly known as the butler bug. Madam." The bug added.
"Still doesn't ring a bell." I said.
"Either way, a bug is a bug." Weiss said uncomfortably.
"No need to worry young ones. We don't hurt others. In fact, we live to serve." The bug told us.
'Trusting him less and less.' Courage said letting out a light growl.
"Allow me." The bug said before getting up and helping Muriel with the pie and watermelon she was carrying.
"Oh, gracious me." Muriel said surprised when she sat down and the bug pushed the seat closer to the table.
"Definitely has the charisma and mannerism of a butler." Winter commented through narrow eyes.
"Thanks. I'm not used to such treatment." Muriel admitted.
"My dear lady. You should be primped, plumped and pampered daily." The bug told her.
"Oh, oh my." Muriel gasped while clearly imagining what a life like that would be. And as usual, Eustace just had to ruin it.
"Blah, blah, blah. Whoever is serving pie serve pie." He demanded.
"A hard-working man such as yourself deserves the biggest slice." The bug said while cutting the pie and serving Eustace his slice.
"Blah, blah, huh? Yeah, that's right. Bugs got a good head on... whatever he has under his head. Eustace said before eating his pie.
"Can definitely sweet talk someone." I said though narrow eyes as he served Courage and Weiss a slice before serving me and Winter a slice as well.
"Mr. Weevil. Would you like some watermelon with your pie?" Muriel asked.
"Watermelon. Thank you. Yes" The bug answered as he sat down. Something then came from his mouth and attached itself to the watermelon. He then ate the watermelon in its entirety as if he was drinking it. Even the skin of the watermelon he ate. Once he was done, he looked up and saw our shocked faces. It was deathly silent with the only sound coming from Weiss who fainted.
"Oh, goodness me. I must have been hungrier than I thought. Excuse me." He explained before excusing himself.
"Well, that just happened." I said as we watched the bug leave.
Half an hour Later
"Oh, yeah." Eustace moaned in his chair as the bug gave him a shoulder massage. Courage and I were on the steps watching him. Making sure he doesn't do anything. Winter and Weiss were in my room while Muriel was washing the dishes.
"What could he want?" I asked Courage.
'I don't know. But it can't be good.' He answered. 'Did your friend check to see if she has anything?'
"She said she sent a message to see if there are any bugs on record that could tell us anything about this bug."" I answered.
"Oh, yeah. Ah, me." Eustace moaned clearly enjoying the massage.
'How's your other friend?' Courage asked.
"Still passed out. She can't handle bugs at all apparently." I answered. He nodded before we turned back to watch the bug. But to our surprise and horror, his mouth came back out and attached itself to Eustace with suckling sound coming right after.
'EEHHHH!' Courage screeched in terror. I was about to go down and help Eustace but as soon as it happened, it stopped. The bug stopped with it mouth going back in his head.
"I haven't felt this good in years." Eustace moaned as the bug finished the massage and doing whatever else it did to him.
"A hard-working gentleman such as yourself needn't suffer the slings and arrows of pains and aches." The bug told him.
"You're all right but..." Eustace began before letting out a massive yawn. "I could use a nap. Yeah. Oooh. Relaxed."
"That's not good." I said in horror and shock when Eustace stood and all his clothes fell off as he somehow got skinnier. Whatever that bug did to him, it turned Eustace into basically a bone.
"Stupid dog and kid." Eustace mocked as he climbed up the stairs while holding his boxers so they don't fall down.
"I'll take in his trousers. I do say I'm quite nimble with a thimble. I studied at the tailoring academy at stitch on time. Ha, ha, ha, ha." The bug told us while laughing as he carried brought Eustace's clothes to him.
'This is not good.' Courage whined.
Two hours Later
"What do you think the bug is really after?" I asked Courage as we laid down on my bed.
'I have no idea. I just hope he doesn't do anything to Muriel.' He answered shaking a bit.
"I hope so too. But for right now, let's get some sleep. We can think better when we are fully rested. Night." I said as I turned off the lamp next to my bed.
'Night.' He said while stretching before closing his eyes. Smiling, I closed my eyes while putting my hand on Courage's back and giving him a scratch. But it was not even a few minutes later that we were jostled awake when we heard a strange sound.
"What's that?" I asked turning on the light.
'I don't know.' Courage answered looking around nervously.
"Sounds like its coming from Muriel's room." I said as I got up from bed with Courage.
'We better check it out.' Courage said as he took out a flashlight. Nodding, we exited my room and looked around but saw nothing. Going down the hall towards Muriel's room, we saw a worrying sight.
"What exactly are you doing?" I asked the bug when we saw him using his mouth on the knob. The bug seemed surprised that we found caught doing whatever he was doing.
"Well?" The voice of Winter asked. Looking to the side, we saw her standing in the doorway of her room. Her weapon drawn and ready while glaring at the bug.
"Oh, my. I most have been sleep scavenging again. I do apologize. Good night." He answered before quickly leaving.
"We best get rid of him as soon as possible." Winter said putting her weapon away.
"Did you find anything about it?" I asked her.
"Not exactly. But we can discuss that more in the morning. Good night." She answered before closing the door.
"We better head to sleep as well. Come on Courage." I told him. However, we stayed in our spot for a while longer to make sure the bug did not come back right away. Wanting to make sure, we round the corner to the steps to make sure he was actually gone. Satisfied that he wasn't there, we went back to my room to catch some sleep.
Next Day
"So, a new species but has similarities to other bugs. None of them particularly good or friendly." I summarized what Winter told us. It was the morning and we were at the table discussing what Winter discovered about the bug from what Atlas had. Speaking of which, the bug was next to the stove making pancakes for us for breakfast.
"Basically." Winter said as she put away her scroll.
"What should we do then?" Weiss asked still eyeing the bug with disgust and slight dread at having to get close to it. But before I could say anything, Eustace cut in.
"Hey, what's for breakfast?" He asked.
'AAHHH!' Courage gasped when we saw him. He is bone thin and clearly underweight. To the point that we were sure he no longer had muscle mass.
"Are you okay sir?" Winter asked. Though. It sounded a bit off. As if she wasn't believing it that she was actually asking him that.
'Bug. Bug did that.' Courage tried to tell Muriel while transforming into a bug. That also made Weiss recoil in disgust.
"Eustace. You don't look so well. Maybe you should go outside for some fresh air." Muriel told him. And what actually concerned us even more was the fact that Eustace seemed too weak to even answered or nod as he just went outside.
"We better check on him." I said as Courage and I went outside as well. Though, we did have to brace ourselves a bit as it was pretty windy today. Looking around, we quickly spotted Eustace just standing still only a few feet away. Walking towards him, I cautiously touched his shirt. Only for him to crumble into dust at my touch. Literally.
'EEHHH!' Courage screeched before taking out a broom and dustpan.
"What are we going to do with him?" I asked as I held open a zip lock bag so Courage can put Eustace into it.
'I don't know.' He answered worried.
"JAUNE!" Weiss shouted startling us.
"COMING!" We shouted as we rushed backed inside the house.
And to out horror, we saw Winter standing between the bug and Muriel with her weapon drawn. Weiss was next to Muriel taking her pulse to check if she was okay. We didn't even need to be told what happened as we knew immediately what happened. The bug tried to do the same thing it did with Eustace to Muriel. And nearly succeeded had it not been for Winter and Weiss intervening.
'AAAHHHHH!' Courage screamed in terror.
"Now Courage no need to worry. Everyone will have their turn." Muriel said unaware of what could have happened to her had Winter not saved her.
"I'm sorry milady. But I don't do young people or dogs." The Weevil said trying to find a way out of the predicament.
"Good. I wouldn't want your gross bug hands on me anyway." Weiss said disgusted.
"Young lady. I know you don't tolerate bugs well, but you don't have to go that far." The bug told her. Sounding slightly annoyed.
"He's right Weiss." Winter added sounding a bit disappointed. She then turned back to the bug. "Either way, I believe it's time for you to go."
"And how do you plan on doing that?" The bug asked.
'Already have a way.' Courage answered as he put away his private phone.
"What or who did you call?" I asked confused as we heard the sounds of tires screeching outside.
'An exterminator.' He answered while opening the door to reveal a giant man in an orange jump suit.
"I'll be honest. I forgot all about them." The bug said surprised.
"You called an exterminator?" The guy asked.
'Yes. Yes.' Courage answered before transforming into a bug himself.
"Um, Courage. I don't think that-" I began but stopped when the exterminator mistook Courage for the bug and sprayed him before leaving. "Yeah. That."
'Should have saw that one coming.' Courage said woozy.
"Well, that was unexpected. But either way. It's clear that you all want me gone. But ask yourselves this, how are you all going to get rid of me permanently as I can simply come back. And I know none of you are killers." The bug told us.
"What do you propose then?" Winter asked.
"A contest. If you beat me. Then I will leave and never return. But if I win, I get to stay forever." He answered with a laugh.
"Sounds fair." I said after giving it a thought.
"Excellent. Then to make it fair, it shall be me against you and the dog." The bug said sitting down on the table. Seeing this, Courage and I sat across from him.
"What is this competition?" Winter asked wearily. While also eying me with slight annoyance for me jumping into this basically blind.
"Yes. In this competition, we find out who can ingest the most awful food. But I warn you; I am an expert at eating foul stuff you know. Studied at the bad taste academy at mold on crumpet." He answered before bragging a bit.
'And?' Courage asked annoyed.
"Ok. Let's start with boiled broccoli, shall we." The bug said starting off the contest as Muriel quickly placed the food in front of us.
"Easy enough to begin with." I said as I easily ate the broccoli. Though Courage did whine a bit before eating them as well.
"As, I see you like to eat healthy. Even if it's in a way not many like." The bug said sounding impressed.
"Always like broccoli. No matter how they were made." I explained.
"Guess I need to up the stakes then. How about old, rancid boiled broccoli." The bug announced with Muriel putting the food in front of us a second later. Which turned out to be basically mush.
"Need to do better bug." I said as I easily ate the food. Only to hear gagging as soon as I finished. Looking up, I saw Winter and Weiss looking at me with wide eyes while covering their mouths.
"Why?" Weiss asked trying her hardest to not throw up. Winter only fairing slightly better.
"You truly do not want to know." I answered.
"Bad family or bad upbringing?" The bug asked finishing his food
"Unfortunately." I answered while Courage finished his food. A clothes pin on his nose.
"Either way. You impressed me for still being in the contest. Bravo. Not for the deciding round. Old, rancid boiled broccoli I had between my toes for a week." The bug declared. Muriel then immediately got the stuff from the bugs feet before boiling them and serving them to us.
"EXCUSE US! BATHROOM!" Weiss and Winter shouted. Their faces bright green as they rushed out of the room to the bathroom upstairs. And even from hear, we could hear them throwing up.
'Damn.' I thought as I looked at the food. Courage's eyes were already tearing. He tried to eat the food but couldn't even take one bit before having to rush out to throw up. Picking up a little, I managed to get it to my mouth but couldn't stomach and quickly ran out of the house as well.
"That was gross." I said after finishing throwing up.
'Yet the bug still ate it.' Courage said wiping his mouth.
"But now we need to find another way to get rid of the bug." I reminded him. He nodded as we went back inside. Only to scream in horror when we saw the bug doing the same to Muriel what he did to Eustace.
'AAHHHH!' Courage screamed.
"No, you don't." I said as we raced over and managed to separate the bugs mouth from Muriel's neck. But, is seemed like he didn't realize that we stopped his feeding. Looking around, we decided to attach his mouth to his stomach. He began to continue his feeding unaware that he was essentially eating himself. Which for some reason shrunk him down to only a half a foot tall. His clothes covering him Though he did exit it a second later and walked towards us.
"Stupid dog and kid." The bug said before kicking us in the legs.
'Oh.' Courage grunted in pain while I did not even feel it thanks to my aura.
"Sorry for that. What did we miss?" Winter asked as she and Wiess reentered the kitchen.
"Lost the contest. But found a new way to defeat the bug." I answered while pointing to the bug who kept kicking me. Trying to and failing to hurt me.
"That makes it much easier." Winter said as she used some ice dust to trap the bug. She then put on some gloves before picking up the frozen bug. "I'll call this in so it can be studied."
"Jaune." Weiss said getting my attention while Winter left the room with the bug.
"Yes?" I asked turning to her.
"What should we do about Muriel?" She asked pointing to Muriel who was much thinner.
"We nurse her back to health." I answered.
8:00 P.M.
"I had no idea how thin I gotten. Thanks for nursing me back to health everyone." Murel said as she finished the plate of food, we gave her. After Winter came back from making sure the bug wouldn't escape if it thawed out. We then began to feed Muriel and nurture her back to health.
"You're welcome." Winter said as she handed Muriel another plate of food while I served her some tea.
"I couldn't eat another bite." Muriel said smiling. "And you all had such a great idea. Using Eustace as soil. I just hope he grows back to his old self soon."
"I'm hungry. Where's that pie serving weevil? HUNGRY!" Eustace, now a flower in a pot shouted.
"Dead or alive, human or flower, he is just as annoying as ever." Weiss said annoyed though she, Winter and I did have to hold back a laugh as Courage decided to water Eustace causing him to panic and pout at how he was being treated like an actual plant which he currently is.
Note:
(1) Tower of Dr. Zalost with Neo, Roman, Ruby and Blake.