Book 2: Astoria Greengrass and the Haunt of Azkaban

Song rec: "Girls" by Girl in Red

It was taking all of Rhiannon's brainpower to comprehend the fact that no heads were turning when she and Asenath Greengrass walked into the ballroom arm-in-arm. To think that after experiencing so much hatred for being a Muggle-born, Rhiannon was not going to have anyone think badly about her for being a lesbian. She nearly doubted her sanity as she witnessed two men waltzing in line right next to the Malfoys… and hadn't Asenath indicated that these couples were married? That Astoria's aunt had not a girlfriend, not a partner, but a wife? Did Wizardkind not even have a concept of what it meant to be queer in the Muggle world? At best, that meant slight misunderstanding; at worst, it meant death — hate crimes in the first world and execution in the third world. Parents threw out children that they had previously pretended to love. It was worse than being Muggle-born in the Wizarding world, but Rhiannon knew that historically, they were equally as awful. She didn't know whether to be relieved or to feel guilty. Countless Muggles were not lucky enough to experience this sort of equality. It almost wasn't fair for Rhiannon to be with this girl in public, for she only could guess at the hatred she would have experienced in the Muggle world for the same action.

"Do you want me to lead, Rhiannon?" Asenath asked, then started doing so regardless of any answer Rhiannon might have had. As the two were dancing, Rhiannon could not make up her mind whether to look round the room at people's reactions — or amazing lack thereof — or to watch the smiling beauty in front of her.

"I didn't mean to shock you so much," said Asenath smoothly. "I was going to pick a better time to ask you to dance, really, but it looked like Millie was going to try to snatch you up first, and I couldn't have that."

"Er, no, you picked a good time," Rhiannon replied. "Millicent doesn't want nothing to do with me anyway. I'm Muggle-born."

"She'll grow out of that round me," Asenath mentioned. "I think most of that came from her liking Pansy Parkinson. Oh well, it's a learning experience, right? Liking girls that don't want you."

"…Yeah," Rhiannon said. She certainly had learnt a lot.

Asenath and Rhiannon passed the open doors to the banquet hall, and Rhiannon could see Astoria watching them, or rather, watching for Philippe. She looked even more damaged than before, and a part of Rhiannon wanted to break away from the dance to go resolve things with her. The rest of Rhiannon had no desire to hear what Astoria would have to say about the incident. Rhiannon was glad that Astoria was not the sort of person to have prejudices regardless of this apparently gay-friendly society, but Astoria finally knew that Rhiannon was keen on her, and she might have more hurtful things to say than a simple "I don't feel the same." It could be the end of the best thing that Rhiannon ever had if Astoria thought things were too strange between them.

Before Rhiannon had any clue about the lack of homophobia in the Wizarding world, she had been diligently hiding herself. Any hope that she had the previous year about Astoria was based on the wish that Astoria was also in the closet. Then came Philippe, and Rhiannon thought that Astoria might have been a bit too far in the closet. Rhiannon wrote the song "Useless" in her disappointment and added it to her collection of unhappy music. But Astoria was very difficult to remove from the dreamier parts of Rhiannon's mind, and the parts of her mind that provided her false hope soon formulated that Astoria could be bisexual. The past few months of closeness had further brightened Rhiannon's hopes, and then Christmas Eve had no less than crushed them. The illusionary light at the end of the tunnel had shut off. Astoria had been clueless the whole time. Rhiannon could see the surprise on her face throughout the whole frantic discussion. And now Astoria was sitting in that banquet hall, knowing that Rhiannon liked her, and probably thinking of ways to make it an elephant in the room that would change their friendship.

"It's a pretty painful learning experience," Asenath added quietly. "I'm… I'm sorry about my cousin. I, er, hope you won't think all of we Greengrasses are as thick as her."

"…Er, no. No."

The dance ended sooner than Rhiannon expected, and she hated the feeling of Asenath letting go of her. She thought she might go check on Astoria and catch up with Asenath later, but when she saw that Astoria wasn't in the banquet hall anymore, Rhiannon decided not to look for her. She probably didn't want to be found anyway.

"Oh?" Asenath said happily as the pair failed to move from their spot on the dance floor. "Are we going to dance again?"

"I'll dance with you all night if you let me," said Rhiannon bluntly.

Asenath raised her modishly shaped eyebrows and grinned.

"Ah… Really? But the ball ends at midnight."

Oh.

"If you keep using lines like that one, how am I s'posed to ignore what Astoria said about you?" challenged Rhiannon as Asenath started a quickstep with her.

"Well, she paints me poorly if I may say so! Just because I'm not priestly like her doesn't mean I'm what she says I am," Asenath asserted.

"Is that so?" Rhiannon commented, freeing one of her arms to place a hand on the side of Asenath's neck. Asenath whinged slightly as Rhiannon expected.

"That thing's pretty new," she concluded about the bruise behind Asenath's choker.

Asenath smiled and took Rhiannon's hand again, lacing their fingers and bringing her in just a little too close to allow room for the right dance moves.

"I promise I'm fun, Rhiannon."

Rhiannon wasn't sure if she liked that or not. Asenath didn't give another answer; it irritated Rhiannon that the girl didn't think she needed to. Rhiannon wouldn't have kept dancing after that if it weren't for the facts that she was not in any mood to see Astoria and that part of her greatly wanted to see what all the fuss about Asenath Greengrass was.

"So… let me guess… You're opposed to dating a fan, aren't you?" said Asenath bleakly.

"Heard our album, did ya?"

"It was brilliant," announced Asenath sincerely. "I've always been a lazy little shit and never learnt to play an instrument. That you play guitar so well at this age really impresses me because I wouldn't be able to do that. So I thought, 'Hey, I need to talk to this girl and see if, you know, she Chases for my team.'"

"Then how did you know tonight?" Rhiannon asked curiously.

"The first thing you looked at was not my face," Asenath said.

"Ah. Yup. That'll do it," laughed Rhiannon.

She was looking at Asenath's face as they danced, though. It was interesting to see that two cousins whose fathers looked so much alike in the face could look so different from each other. Asenath evidently resembled her mother behind all of that unique grooming. Her eyes were hazel, and she had a thinner nose bridge and thinner lips than Astoria. Her smile was straighter and her teeth were whiter. In all truth, she could have been a model, though Rhiannon imagined she'd be more willing to pose as a tattoo magazine's centrefold.

"That's the sigil for love," Asenath stated at random.

"What?"

"Your hand — it's on my tattoo of the sigil for love," said Asenath gently.

Rhiannon instantaneously saw that she was in the wrong dancing position and that her hand was holding onto Asenath's upper arm. She moved it back in place and saw many strange symbols that she hadn't thought twice about before.

"Last kid I saw with as many tattoos as you was part of a gang," Rhiannon mentioned before gasping at the sound of the statement. "No, sorry — I didn't mean it that way. It wasn't meant as a bad thing…"

"Shh, you're fine, Rhiannon. What's a pretty thing like you doing round gang members?"

"Oh, er, not me. They're just kinda… there. I don't know. I live in a rookery."

The song changed to a particularly slow waltz, and after tut-tutting in pity at Rhiannon's residence, Asenath took the opportunity to lean her cheek on the side of Rhiannon's head as they danced. Rhiannon had a lot of trouble not enjoying it. She'd never been touched this way before.

"I'm going to write to you over the rest of the break, you know," Asenath said in Rhiannon's ear.

Rhiannon giggled excitedly, either at the idea that this attractive girl was actually going to write to her or at the feeling of her lips on the top of her ear. The ballroom looked so different now that Rhiannon had Asenath with her. Asenath was the one who had saved her from the remainder of a dreadful evening, who had saved her from a load of unnecessary suffering, and who had pointed out a world Rhiannon did not know existed. Some of the night's damage had been repaired, and after feeling this magnificent, gentle, dancing embrace, Rhiannon definitely knew what all the fuss about Asenath Greengrass was.