Book 2: Astoria Greengrass and the Haunt of Azkaban

Song rec: "Starry" as arranged by Namapann (生パン) (original "Starry Sky of Small Desires" by ZUN)

Astoria would not cry. In a room in the west wing, filled with the family's holiday donation boxes, Astoria tucked herself out of view. But she would not cry. Astoria knew that if she started to cry, she would not be able to stop. There were too many tears behind the dam. Her attempt to numb the feelings had made her skin grow cold; for a time, she focused only on the ice. The music from the ballroom did not reach this place.

Rhiannon had never fancied Draco Malfoy. It would have been a good thing. It would have been such a good thing that Astoria could have sung in her joy that Rhiannon never fancied and would never fancy Draco Malfoy.

But instead she merely thought of a cutting tune about how "useless" she was.

In that song, Rhiannon had said that Astoria would gasp if she knew that Rhiannon liked her. That she did. She did gasp. Yet the song had said that she would laugh as well, which Astoria never did. She could not have laughed if the funniest thing in the world had happened in that moment, but Rhiannon was in the ballroom thinking that Astoria was having a grand old time laughing at her expense. She was thinking, just as that stupid song had said, that Astoria was going to abandon her. Astoria would never do that, but perhaps it was Rhiannon who would abandon her.

Astoria hated imagining what her past year and a half would have been like if Rhiannon had not been there. Rhiannon was always there. She was the best friend of all of them. She was a better sister than Daphne. Astoria did not love Rhiannon in the way that Rhiannon wanted, but she did love Rhiannon. Losing her best friend over something childish like this was excruciating. If Rhiannon wanted to yell, let her yell. If Rhiannon wanted to sulk, let her sulk. To an extent, Rhiannon was probably even going to blame Astoria just for not falling in love with her, but eventually Rhiannon would settle down. Eventually Rhiannon would come to her senses, and Rhiannon would be Rhiannon again. Thoughts such as "or else" and "otherwise" weren't working for Astoria. She and Rhiannon had to make up.

How they were going to do that was a different subject, for Astoria could not think of any way to initiate it. Rhiannon's feelings were now being poured onto Asenath as Astoria sat amidst the boxes, but Asenath was all wrong for her. Astoria had told Rhiannon that Asenath was going to do exactly what Philippe had done. It had just happened to Astoria, so Rhiannon was truly acting like an idiot if she was willing to go through that after seeing its effects. It must have been ignorant excitement. However, Astoria could not warn Rhiannon any more about heartbreaker Asenath, for it might seem mocking. It would be in bad taste for Astoria to advise Rhiannon about romance since Rhiannon liked Astoria. So, Astoria really was rendered useless.

The problem with sitting alone amongst stacks of boxes was that although one felt somewhat protected by them, it also impaired her line of sight. Astoria felt protected and vulnerable at the same time, but since the vulnerability outshined the protection since Rhiannon was not with her any longer, Astoria moved closer to the door. She checked the contents of some boxes before determining that it was safe to sit on one that was full of clothes. She counted the minutes and reached seven and nine seconds. She heard her mother's voice.

Her mother was speaking in French but was not speaking to Astoria. She was in the same area from which Astoria had heard the Malfoys' conversation. What Astoria did not expect was to hear that Mrs Malfoy was speaking in there once again, this time in French. But Astoria had never imagined that she would hear Mrs Malfoy's voice so feeble and shaky.

"It was true… All of it was true. And I am supposed to keep lying like a coward. What kind of mother am I? Estelle, I can't lie about this."

"No, no. Cissy, calm down. Calm down, now. If you must lie to save your life, then I command you to lie."

"It's not my life I'm trying to save."

"Well, you can trust me. You do not have to lie to me. Before, you did not lie to me."

"That is why I am here again, Estelle. The very same reason. I have no voice except through you. You must save yourself again. You cannot listen to the papers because what the old man said is true, and I-I, oh… how I wish it wasn't! I cannot do this anymore, Estelle! My son…"

There was a long silence in which Astoria could hear her own teeth chattering. Mrs Malfoy seemed to be speaking about You-Know-Who's return. She was confirming it from the inside. She knew through Lucius, and she had to warn Astoria's mother in order to relieve some of the guilt. Apparently, she could only tell Astoria's mother, which Astoria understood perfectly. Her mother was the most reliable and righteous person she knew.

"You have to do something, Estelle," Mrs Malfoy said desperately. "It's going to be bad, Estelle. I-It's… He's…"

"I shall not reference you as I do so," Astoria's mother assured quietly. "Do not worry; you have my word. It shall be Albus Dumbledore's statements that I refer to, as I have been referring to."

"I trust so very few…" Mrs Malfoy faltered.

"Hush, Cissy. Is there any more you may tell me? Do you know when… when it will be?"

Mrs Malfoy continued stammering, because the effort she was making to control her voice was only backfiring. "When what will be?" was too fearful a question for Astoria to ask herself.

"No, I cannot say… it… it could b-be soon, but it could be some time from now. I do not know, I do not know. I wish I knew. I-I wish I could leave, Estelle. I wish I could do as you can do. I wish I could take my family and escape this nightmare, as you did with your family— my, my…"

Astoria heard a loud, terrified noise come from Mrs Malfoy that she was certain no one had ever heard from the woman before.

"They're going to kill her," Mrs Malfoy started sputtering. "Estelle, no, they're — they're going to kill her. I know they will this time."

"Narcissa, I—"

"You know they're going to kill that idiot sister of mine, Estelle! Oh, damn it, Estelle, please tell her it is real… please tell her it is worse than last time. She'll get herself killed. That stupid, mudwallowing fool…"

"Excuse me, Narcissa," Astoria's mother interjected at the language, "I do not like to bring this up, but she has been a close friend to me more recently than a sister to you."

Mrs Malfoy sniffed, affronted. Astoria was not sure whether the noise had any secret tears behind it.

"She knows it is real, Cissy. She knows already."

"If she already knows, then she is as witless as ever. She will not survive this here. Tell her, Estelle. She must leave. And so must you."

"Yes. I will do that. I will tell her very soon."

"It did not come from me," Mrs Malfoy insisted.

"I know."

There was nothing more to the conversation except Mrs Malfoy's reserved sniffling, which served as the score for Astoria's exhausted thoughts until the women left for the ballroom. Astoria remembered when she had seen Mrs Malfoy in Twilfitt and Tattings before school started. Astoria had been feeling particularly disgusted with Daphne that day, and she thought that it was odd that Mrs Malfoy would be so distressed about it. But she, like Daphne, had a sister. She was estranged from that sister, just like Astoria always feared that she and Daphne would become. Estranged. Lost. Hardly family at all. Too many disagreements.

It was horrid to think about, but it was something that was familiar to Astoria. If she and Daphne were all grown and not in school, then that incident the last year with Blaise Zabini would have been much graver. Two sisters who were not speaking. Two sisters who were strangers.

With the rise of You-Know-Who, Mrs Malfoy's sister was in danger of death. That, and perhaps nothing short of that, was enough to trigger the sisterly instinct within Mrs Malfoy. It all seemed so clandestine, though, and Astoria knew that there was more than You-Know-Who keeping Mrs Malfoy from informing her sister herself. Look at who she chose to marry. She didn't ever want to see her again; she just wanted to know that she was alive. It was odd. It was contemptible. But Astoria guessed that there were far worse people out there who would not try to warn their family members at all.

Astoria felt anxiety rising in her stomach. It was not only Mrs Malfoy's sister who needed to be warned. It was Astoria's family, the "blood-traitors." Whatever You-Know-Who had planned would be enough to require the Greengrasses to leave the country as they had before Daphne was born. Astoria did not want to envision herself as a refugee. She did not want to think of losing her home. But most of all, Astoria could not imagine losing her family. She did not know how soon the threat was coming. Apparently, Mrs Malfoy did not even know.

Astoria felt like screaming. Draco had tried to tell her about these things on the first day of summer holiday. If only she hadn't buried the fear, if only she had told her parents immediately, then maybe they would have had more time. What if somebody died because they couldn't get out soon enough? You-Know-Who could be going through his list of enemies in that very moment, and Astoria could not protect anyone.