February 2002
Ginny and Hermione were in Ginny's old room at the Burrow, lacing flowers into a garland in preparation for George and Angelina's wedding the following day.
"I feel like I haven't seen you in ages," Hermione was saying.
"I know. Ruby and I have been so busy setting up the new flat. It's gorgeous, by the way. Impossibly tiny, but on this really cool street in Barcelona. You have to come visit. You'll have to stay elsewhere though because I'm not kidding, the whole thing is about twice the size of this room."
"I can't wait to come. Really. You'll have to tell me when you have a decent break in your Quidditch schedule."
Ginny nodded, keeping her head down as she tied off the garland she was working on.
"I'm going to miss having you around here," Hermione sighed. "Will you write?"
Ginny pulled a face. "I wish I had one of those Muggle phones. Talking is so much easier than writing."
"I can get us some, if you want," Hermione offered. "I've been meaning to get one for myself, anyway, so I can call my parents without having to go into the Ministry."
Ginny put her garland aside and looked up at Hermione. "Yeah?"
"Sure. I'll bring it by your flat before you leave next weekend."
"Brilliant, Hermione. Thanks. It'll be nice getting to talk to you whenever I want. And I can take it around when I travel?"
Hermione nodded as she strung a few more flowers. "There's a spell to get it connected to the nearest cell tower that I can show you when I drop it by."
Ginny let out a sigh, then leaned back on her hands and looked out the window.
"How's your mum doing with all this, Ginny?"
"She's fine. Absolutely fine." This was the same way Hermione described her parents, so she understood that slight feeling of disappointment in Ginny's tone that things weren't better, but knew she was likely simultaneously relieved they weren't worse.
"And Ruby? Are things going well there?"
"Yeah, actually." Ginny moved so she was lying on her stomach, facing Hermione. "It's so nice dating a teammate. I get to see her all the time, she understands being completely knackered after practice, and I don't need to work around difficult schedules with her. It's just - I don't know - convenient. Which sounds lame, but really, she's great."
"Good. I'm glad, Ginny."
Hermione saw Ginny kicking her legs in the air out of her periphery but kept her eyes down on her task.
"Are we going to discuss the giant hippogriff in the room?" Ginny asked.
Hermione replied without looking up. "That I'm dating Harry or that you and our friends were betting on when it would happen?"
Ginny sat up as Hermione put down her garland and fixed her with a stern glare. "Hey," Ginny said defensively, "I didn't start the bet. That was all Neville and Hannah. Though, in Neville's defense, he wanted to tell you but Luna and I insisted that it would be better if you two figured it out on your own."
Hermione smiled and went back to stringing flowers. "You were right. It's sort of perfect how it came together for us. And I don't care about the bet. How much did you make?"
"Twenty galleons." Ginny shifted closer to Hermione. "So, uh, that's going well?"
"Yes. It's excellent, actually. Even though it's been just over a month, it feels like we've been together for ages."
"Huh." Ginny began studying one of the flowers on the bed and when Hermione looked up, she could tell Ginny was working herself up to say something Hermione wasn't going to like.
"Has he - uh - done that thing where he sort of disappears into himself and like, shuts you out?"
Hermione put her garland down and frowned. She thought she knew what Ginny was talking about, the dark moods Harry sometimes fell into, though she hadn't witnessed any of them as his girlfriend yet.
She was about to snap back and say that Harry had been raised in an abusive household, then was flung into a war where he'd been given an impossible task, then been forced to watch all his parent-figures die before walking straight toward death himself. So, if he wanted to be a little depressed sometimes and shut the world out, then that was perfectly fine and it was Hermione's job as the person who loved him to support him and not complain about it.
Before she could say any of that, Ginny continued in a rush, "I'm asking for you, really. I know it can be hard, as the girlfriend, and just wanted to check."
Hermione took a deep breath and tried to keep her temper under control. "I don't feel comfortable talking about this with you."
Ginny nodded and picked up a string and needle so she could start on another garland. "Okay. That's fair. I am happy for you – both of you."
Ginny should have known better. Hermione had been fiercely loyal to Harry, even before they'd started dating. It made sense that quality would have become more extreme. In an effort to lighten the mood in the room, she said, "I'd like to point out that Harry wasn't that good of a kisser when we first started dating, so you're welcome for the work I did there."
Hermione kicked her from across the bed and Ginny smiled when she saw that Hermione was blushing.
"And shagging," Ginny continued. "Wait. Have you had sex yet?"
Hermione silenced Ginny with a wave of her hand. It wasn't very strong and Ginny was able to remove it without her wand. "Absolutely no talk of anyone shagging Harry - you or me - or, or, anyone," Hermione declared. "I'll silence you every time."
Ginny rolled her eyes. "You're no fun."
That made Hermione smirk for some reason as she muttered, "So I've heard."
Hermione let out a long sigh and began tying off her string of flowers. "Sorry, Ginny. It's hard, dating your best friend's ex."
"Yeah. No kidding. But it will be worse for Ron and Harry."
That's exactly what Hermione had just been thinking. "Do you think he's ready?" she asked Ginny. "Ron?"
Ginny shrugged. "One way to know for sure."
"Ugh," Hermione groaned. "I guess the real question is, am I ready?"
It took Harry far too long to get Hermione onto the dance floor at George and Angelina's wedding. It was times like these when he hated keeping their relationship secret. He just wanted to shout, "That's my girlfriend, so can you please take your hands off her and let us dance together in peace?!"
"Hi," Hermione said as soon as they reached the dance floor, wrapping her arms around his neck. Harry placed his hands on her waist and struggled to keep them from drifting down.
"Hi," he smiled back at her.
"How has your night been?"
Harry groaned. "I wish you already knew. What happened to our agreement that you'd stay glued to my side all night?"
"Lee asked me to dance first thing. What was I supposed to say?"
"No." Harry pouted.
"You're cute when you're jealous."
"You didn't think that at the Gala," he pointed out.
She pursed her lips. "No. I did not. Because you were also unnecessarily rude."
"Sorry." He almost leaned in to kiss her cheek, then caught himself.
Hermione noticed Teddy dancing nearby on Fleur's feet. He looked very dapper in a miniature set of dress robes.
"Just when I thought that kid couldn't get any cuter," she said to Harry.
Harry turned and smiled when he saw who she was looking at. "He told me earlier today that he's going to be marrying Victoire when he's ten. He said his wedding would be like this, but with lots of Aurors and dragons."
Hermione couldn't help but smile. "And what does Victoire say about this?"
"I'm not sure if she's on board. I haven't covered the importance of gaining a witch's consent with him yet. I thought I had more time."
Hermione laughed and Harry smiled. He always experienced a burst of pride when he was able to make her laugh fully like this.
Hermione wanted to kiss Harry and hated that she couldn't. He seemed to sense what she was thinking and pushed her out into a twirl, then pulled her in and brushed his lips against her cheek for a brief moment. It wasn't exactly what either of them wanted but was better than nothing.
"I love you most when you're hanging out with Teddy. Have I told you that?"
Harry beamed. "You haven't. Do you want to know when I love you most?"
"Sure."
Hermione thought he was going to say he loved her most at times, like now, when she was dressed up and looking her best. Or maybe even when they were snogging. But his response surprised her.
"I love you most when you're wrapped in your scarf under a pile of blankets, trying to convince me to get up and get you a drink or snack from the kitchen because you're too tired to lift your wand and do it yourself."
Hermione stopped moving and stepped back. "No way."
Harry pulled her back into his arms. "Yes way."
"But that's so weird. You love me at my weakest?" She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Is this something to do with your saving people complex?"
Harry rolled his eyes. "No," he drew the word out. "It's because you're usually so impressive and intimidating. Scary, as I've heard other people say."
"Okay. Get to the point."
Harry touched the end of her nose and smiled. "But you let me see you all pathetic. I like that."
Hermione recalled then what she'd told Ginny months ago, how she thought what Harry wanted most in the world was to love deeply and be loved in return. That was sort of true but more simply put, he wanted intimacy. This admission was proof of that and she was thrilled she got to be the one to give it to him.
"I wish I could kiss you right now," she whispered.
Harry drummed his fingers on her waist. "It's taking all my restraint not to pull you close and snog you senseless. That dress, by the way, is almost as beautiful as you are. It's not fair that you're wearing that on a night when I'm not allowed to grope you and ogle you lecherously."
"You are far too chivalrous for groping and lecherous ogling."
"Maybe. But we'll see how chivalrous I'm feeling later when we're finally alone," he said in a low voice. He lowered his hands farther down her back than was appropriate and luckily, no one was watching them right then.
Hermione felt a familiar warmth start to spread through her body and wondered, briefly, how risky it would be to steal away to the Burrow and make out. Ginny's room was probably empty. And even if Ginny caught them, she wouldn't make a big deal of it.
"You're not the only one practicing restraint, you know," she whispered back. "You look dashing. Though I have to warn you that I'm not the only one who's noticed. Ron's Aunt Muriel is staring at you and I think I saw her lick her lips."
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," Harry said matter-of-factly.
Hermione let out an inelegant snort. "Wait. What?"
"Earlier I was trying to avoid that gaggle of single witches over there. One of the more unstable looking ones was heading right for me so I asked Muriel to dance really quickly. I thought she would be a safe bet. She's an awful gossip, but I thought at least she wouldn't try to reach for my arse. I was wrong."
Hermione threw her head back and laughed. That wave of pride spread through Harry again as he admired how beautiful she was and marveled at the fact that she was his.
The song slowed and Hermione took a chance and stepped closer, then rested her head on Harry's chest. She stayed there for a count of fifty, relishing being close to him and breathing in his familiar scent, before finally stepping back.
"Harry?"
Harry noted the serious tone of her voice and looked at her. "Yeah?"
"When we tell Ron, is this going to end? Sundays at the Burrow, weddings, birthdays…" She motioned to the crowd around them.
"No. He'll be fine. He has to be," he reassured her. But she could tell he didn't quite believe his own words.
Harry and Hermione didn't waste any time as soon as they arrived back at Hermione's flat. They both kicked their shoes off and tore off their outer robes before jumping into each other's arms.
"Hi," Hermione whispered as she stroked Harry's cheek with the back of her hand.
Harry moved his hands to either side of her face. "That was like torture." He winced. "Shit. That was insensitive, since you've actually been tortured before."
"As have you. But yes, I'm very offended. I'm going to need you to make it up to me," she deadpanned.
"I can do that," he whispered, trailing a finger along the line of her jaw, then down her neck, then along the neckline of her dress. "How many times have I told you you're beautiful tonight?"
"A lot."
"Good." Harry leaned forward and gently bit a place on her neck just under her ear, then placed a soft, wet kiss on the spot. He continued this pattern down toward her shoulder and though he was only touching her neck, the sensation spread throughout her entire body, all the way to her fingertips and toes.
He continued a path down her shoulder and over to the strap of her dress. When he reached that, he carefully pulled it down, ghosting his fingers down her arms and sending chills down her spine.
"Harry?" she breathed.
"Hmm?"
"I want to - I want -" Words were failing her as Harry had moved to the other side of her neck and was also creeping a hand up her leg through the slit of her dress. Her heart was pounding wildly and she was temporarily consumed by the feeling of his touch. He had this way of making her feel utterly desired that she found intoxicating.
"What do you want?" he asked in a low voice before nibbling on her ear.
"You," she exhaled. "We've waited long enough. I want you."
Harry's head snapped up and when she met his eyes, she nearly let out a laugh. She was sure she'd seen this same look on Teddy's face last weekend when Harry had announced they were going out for ice cream.
"Really? You're ready?"
She nodded and he beamed at her, then leaned forward and kissed her forehead. He moved his hands over the zipper at the back of her dress, then seemed to change his mind and went back to kissing her neck and shoulders.
"You need to pull that little metal thing down to get the dress off," she teased.
"What's the rush? We have all night."
Hermione's heart started beating even faster in anticipation. All night - with Harry. A wave of pleasure flowed through her just at the thought. She caught his chin and kissed him deeply, entwining her tongue with his. Then, she pulled away and whispered in his ear, "My knickers are soaked and getting a bit uncomfortable. I'd like it if you took them off."
Harry swore. "Bloody hell. That was hot."
He found the zipper again and undid her dress. It fell into a pool around her. She stepped out of it and Harry went straight for her breasts, alternating between biting and kissing like he'd been doing before. Hermione let out several loud moans that she would have found embarrassing if she hadn't been so distracted.
Just then, there was a knock on the door. "Hey, Hermione! It's Ron."
Harry snapped up quickly and looked at Hermione, eyes wide with fear. They stared at each other, horrified, and were broken out of their trance when Ron knocked again.
Harry picked up Hermione's dress and wordlessly helped her into it, lamenting as he pulled the zipper up that it was going in the wrong direction. Then, Harry grabbed his shoes and outer robes and ran into Hermione's bedroom while Hermione went to answer the door.
Harry laid his head back against the closed door of Hermione's room and let out a long sigh. Fuck, that had been close. Thank Merlin he'd knocked.
"Hey, Ron!" he heard Hermione say. "Sorry about that. I was in the loo."
"What's wrong?" Ron asked.
Harry shook his head. He was sure Ron was seeing Hermione's deception in her face.
"Nothing." Her voice was too high pitched, Harry thought to himself.
"Okay...uh...I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out. I was going to ask right after the reception but you disappeared."
"Oh. Hang out. Um. Okay. Just the two of us?"
"Oh, no. I thought we'd go to Harry's. He told me earlier he doesn't have Teddy tonight."
"Right. Harry's. Yeah. We could go there. Let me get changed."
Harry went further into the room so he wouldn't be seen when Hermione opened the door. When she'd stepped in and closed the door behind her, he went to meet her, already pulling on his robes.
"He has to know," Harry was muttering as he got dressed. "He's just doing this to try to kill me."
Hermione gave him a sad smile and whispered, "You know that's not why. You know what this is."
Harry bit his lip and felt guilty. "Yeah." He sighed and looked out her window. "How long do your wards extend?"
"Just my section of the fire escape. You should be able to climb one floor down and Apparate from there. I'll cast a Silencing Charm on the window."
Harry nodded and pulled her in for a quick kiss. "I love you. See you soon."
Harry and Ron were in the Sitting Room at Grimmauld Place, talking about work while Hermione slept on the opposite couch. They'd initially considered going out to a pub but decided to stay in and simply catch up. Hermione had fallen asleep a few moments ago. Ron had noticed that she'd been struggling to keep her eyes open almost since they'd arrived.
Ron cocked his head toward her. "Do you know why she's so tired? Has she been working too much again?"
Harry shook his head. "She told me at the wedding she didn't sleep well last night. I think that's all."
He wasn't about to explain the real reason behind her exhaustion. Hermione had been doing a jigsaw puzzle the night before and Harry had teased her and told her she was like an old lady. That had led to a conversation about Mrs. Figg (who had also loved jigsaw puzzles, but complained incessantly anytime her cats would mess with the pieces), which had led to an even longer conversation about what it had been like growing up with the Dursleys.
Harry told her everything as they worked on the puzzle - from things she already knew, like the time he'd blown up Aunt Marge, and why, to things she didn't know, like how he'd been bullied in Primary school and been punished anytime he'd awoken screaming from a nightmare as a child.
He'd kept talking and talking and she'd interjected occasionally to ask a follow-up question, told him how sorry she was, or simply reached over and grab his hand. Before he knew it, it was nearly three in the morning and they'd finished the entire puzzle.
He'd apologized for keeping them up late, especially since they had George's wedding the next day. She'd placed a hand on his knee and thanked him for confiding in her, then admitted that she felt closer to him, something she hadn't previously thought possible. He knew exactly how she felt.
Ron and Harry were silent for several minutes. When Harry looked over at Ron, he saw he was staring off in the distance, wearing a haunted expression.
Harry nudged Ron's foot with his. Ron hummed but kept his gaze on the far wall.
"I'm not sure if I've told you this, Ron, but when I saw my parents and Sirius and Lupin with the Resurrection Stone, I got the impression that they see everything in this world from beyond the veil. Even though it seems like they're gone, they're watching all of it. I know it doesn't feel like Fred was there tonight, but I'm sure he was."
A few tears fell down Ron's cheeks. He leaned his head back on the sofa and tossed his arm over his face. "I thought I was past the worst of it," Ron said into his elbow. "It's been years but sometimes it just hits me, that he's gone, and it feels as raw as if it's just happened."
Harry nodded knowingly, even though Ron couldn't see him.
"I can't even imagine what it's like for George," Ron continued. "I saw him disappear into the house after the ceremony and assumed he needed a moment to just cry. I was about to go check on him but I saw Percy following behind."
Ron sighed and lifted his arm, then turned to face Harry. "I just lost my brother. You lost everyone. I have no idea how you do it, Harry." This time Ron nudged Harry's foot.
Harry shrugged and focused back on Hermione. "You know how," he replied after a while. "You and Hermione. If I ever lost one of you though…" his voice trailed off and tears stung his eyes.
"You're not going to lose one of us," Ron insisted.
Harry nodded and took a deep breath. You say that now. But if you only knew what I was doing when you knocked on Hermione's door earlier.
Ron was looking back at Hermione now with an admiring look in his eye that Harry knew very well. Even without commentary, he knew what Ron was thinking, but Ron told him anyway. "She's so beautiful."
I know. But I, unlike you, actually tell her so.
Harry took a shaky breath. That's not fair. You don't know that for sure. Don't do this.
"Yeah," Harry said aloud.
"I was fine with the thought of her moving on, in the beginning," Ron continued in a flat voice. "She was so supportive of me and Lucy and I wanted her to find someone too. But lately...ever since Lucy and I broke up. The thought of Hermione dating someone else has been driving me mad. Just watching her dance with other blokes tonight was agonizing."
Harry felt sick. He dropped his head in his hand. "Ron, I need-"
"Wait. I know what you're going to say. I know I'm being immature and I know this isn't fair to her. It's just...I don't know. She's so great and I've been realizing how much I took that for granted when we were together. And I should've fought harder to stay with her."
Harry lifted his head and looked at Ron incredulously. "What are you saying? You want to get back together with her?"
"I'd like to give it another shot, but I'm pretty sure she'll say no."
"But you said yourself you weren't right for each other. And your breakup was mutual," Harry felt the need to point out.
"I thought I wanted someone more exciting but that was stupid. I mistook stable and comfortable for boring. And then she said we were wrong for each other, and she's brilliant, so I thought I shouldn't question it. But, like, look at her." He waved toward the opposite couch where Hermione was still sleeping, oblivious to their conversation.
"There's no way I'm ever going to find someone that incredible again. And she truly knows me and doesn't care about the war or chocolate frog cards. She knew me when I was shitty and loved me anyway."
Harry's stomach turned. It had been a mistake to keep this from Ron. They'd been selfish and Harry wished he could go back and decide differently. That wasn't possible, but he could tell Ron right now. That was the right thing to do.
He opened his mouth to speak but as the words formed, Ron's final statement echoed through his head.
She knew me when I was shitty and loved me anyway.
Wasn't this exactly what Harry loved most about Hermione? That she loved him for him, and not because he was Harry Potter. Hearing Ron say the same thing felt wrong. It hit him then: Hermione loved Ron. Or, she had, very deeply. She'd chosen him back at school, not Harry. And Harry hadn't forgotten how upset she'd been about Lucy. What would she say if she knew Ron wanted her back?
She'd told Harry they were different people now than they were in school and better suited to each other. Maybe, it was the same with her and Ron. Maybe, they hadn't been the right people for each other last summer but after this break, and after Ron had realized how great Hermione really was, maybe they were the right people for each other now.
And Ron was a better choice for her, wasn't he? He didn't have all that childhood trauma. He didn't have nightmares or panic attacks. And he didn't have to deal with the same level of fame Harry did. Once Hermione and Harry's relationship became public, she'd start getting hate mail and would become the subject of nasty articles.
She wouldn't have that problem with Ron. And she wouldn't have to worry about being shut-out from the Weasley's - something she'd expressed concern about just a few hours ago at the wedding. Ron was the easier option. The better option. And if he's who Hermione really wanted, Harry wasn't going to get in her way.
And if she ended up with Ron, it would be a lot easier for Ron to forgive Harry for dating her, when he ultimately found out. Maybe it was all for the best.
[This was another situation where Harry's mind was trying hard to protect him from the pain of losing someone. If Hermione went back to Ron, Harry wouldn't have to lose his best friend or the Weasleys. And he also felt, deep down, that he wasn't good enough for Hermione and that it was just a matter of time before they split up.
He reasoned it would be better to lose her sooner rather than later, since he was growing more and more attached to her by the day. It was nonsense, obviously, and just as it had done every other time he'd tried to keep himself from Hermione, his heart beat hard in protest. But his mind meant well – even though it was wrong.]
"Are you okay?" Ron asked. He'd noticed Harry looked off.
Harry sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I'm feeling a little sick. I think I just need to go to bed."
"Oh. Yeah. It's late. I should go. What do you think…?" he cocked his head toward Hermione.
Harry bit his lip. "We should let her sleep. I'll move her to the guest room."
Ron nodded, then gathered his things and left through the Floo.
Harry stood watching Hermione for a long time before leaning down to pick her up. She instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled into his chest but stayed sleeping.
As he walked up the stairs, he considered putting her in his bed but changed his mind once he got in the hall. He lowered her onto the bed in the spare room and covered her up. He was about to lean over and place a kiss on her forehead but stopped himself at the last minute and brushed it with his fingertips instead.
"I love you," he whispered before closing the door and leaving her alone.
When Hermione woke up the next morning in Harry's spare room, it took her a while to figure out where she was and why. She must have fallen asleep the night before while Ron had been over. But why hadn't Harry put her in his bed?
He seemed bound and determined not to sleep with her and since they'd been dating, had never spent the night nor invited her to sleep over. She guessed it was because he didn't want to have another nightmare around her but had never asked him about it.
She crept out of bed and searched the house, but it was empty. She found a note on the kitchen table explaining that Harry had gone to fly. She peered out the window and saw the weather was awful. He must have been desperate for some fresh air.
She made herself breakfast and hung around for another hour. When he still hadn't returned, she added to the note, telling him she was going back to her flat and that he should send a Patronus when he was home.
But he never sent a Patronus and she didn't see him for the rest of the weekend. They usually met up after work during the week but on Monday, his owl appeared in his place with a note saying he was tied up doing a late stake-out shift with Dawlish.
On Tuesday, when they usually cooked dinner together, his owl appeared as soon as she'd returned from work. This time the note Harry sent said he needed to cancel so he could catch up on sleep as he'd been out late the night before.
She didn't see him Wednesday and he hadn't even bothered sending an excuse that night. Then on Thursday, he canceled lunch with an inter-office memo, claiming he was busy with work again.
She marched over to the Auror Offices, ready to confront him about canceling on a tradition they'd kept going for years, but the Offices were empty and there were no Aurors in sight. Okay, so maybe he actually was busy. This had happened a handful of times before and usually Harry and Hermione would go to the Indian restaurant Friday, instead.
But he didn't send Hermione any notes to reschedule on Friday and by then she was too upset to go looking for him.
They'd had a lovely night at the wedding, been about to finally take their relationship to the next level, then this. Was he finished with her? Maybe once it finally started to seem real, he realized it was too much or that he didn't want it. But why ignore her like this? This wasn't like Harry.
Well...he had done this back before they'd become a couple, after he'd realized he liked her. And Ginny had mentioned something about him withdrawing into himself. Was that what was happening now? Hermione decided to give him a week. If by Sunday she hadn't heard from him, she'd go looking for him and demand that he talk to her.
On Saturday afternoon, Harry showed up at her flat.
"Hi." He looked tired, but otherwise okay.
"Hi," she replied, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the door frame.
"I've been a prick."
"Yes."
Harry took his glasses off and pressed his thumb and forefinger into his eyes. "Dudley pointed it out to me when we were having drinks today," he groaned. "And believe me, when Dudley Dursley calls you a prick, you know you're in the wrong."
Hermione didn't smile.
Harry sighed and put his glasses back on. "Can I come in?"
Hermione considered saying no, just out of spite, but caught herself and turned into her flat, leaving the door to close behind her. Harry caught the door before it slammed shut and followed Hermione into the main room where she'd taken a seat on one of the chairs. She hadn't sat on the sofa and he figured it was so he couldn't sit next to her. He sat on the middle of the empty sofa before starting in on the speech he'd prepared earlier.
"I owe you an explanation. And I should have told you all this sooner but I've been too much of a coward, I - well, you'll see."
"I know what's going on," she interrupted.
Harry started. Had Ron already talked to her? "You know?" he asked.
"We almost shagged then you saw this was getting serious and decided you didn't want it. Instead of telling me, you hid. Or maybe you've been trying to figure out a nice way to let me down."
"What? No, no, no. That's not it at all." Harry dropped his face in his hands. Is that what she'd been thinking all week? Dammit. He was the worst.
"Okay…" she said. Harry could tell she didn't believe him. "If that wasn't it, then what happened?"
Harry took a deep breath and started talking in a rush, knowing it would just be worse if he drew it out. He told her about what Ron had said after George's wedding. He told her that he knew Ron had never appreciated Hermione enough when they were together, but that now Ron was past that and was ready to be the boyfriend she'd always wanted him to be.
Harry explained why Ron was the better choice for her and when he got to this part, he looked down at the coffee table, since he couldn't bear to look her in the eye anymore.
"You think I'm going to go back to Ron?" she asked when he was finished talking.
Harry nodded with his eyes still down.
"Given the choice between continuing this and going back to Ron. You're convinced I'd pick him," she said carefully.
Tears flooded into Harry's eyes. "I understand, Hermione. And I - I just want you to be happy. I'm rubbish, look at what I just did to you, making you think I didn't want you. That was awful. You deserve better. And I promise, I won't be difficult or get in your way." His voice broke at the end and he stopped to take a deep, steadying breath.
It was out there. Finally. Now, it was time to see what she said. He figured that by abandoning her for the past week he'd made her decision loads easier.
Hermione didn't know where to start. She stood and went to sit next to him on the couch. She pressed her knees against the side of his leg and when he didn't look up, lifted his chin with her finger.
Harry guessed she was doing this so she could look him in the eye while she broke his heart. She was so much braver than he was. But her next words surprised him.
"Why am I insecure about my appearance?"
"What?"
"Why do you think I'm insecure? Where do you think it came from?"
"Uhh...when you were growing up a lot of people told you that you were unattractive and - I don't know - you believed them."
Hermione nodded. "Yeah."
"I don't-"
"Just listen." She placed her hands on his shoulders and took a deep breath.
"Harry. When you were younger, your aunt and uncle told you that you weren't good enough and part of you believed them. Then, when you got into your first relationship, your girlfriend told you that you were a bad boyfriend and you believed her. Even Ron, unwittingly, told you that you didn't deserve the few good things you had, through his jealousy - your Firebolt, new books and robes, and occasional praise - and you internalized that for years."
Hermione moved his hair out of his face and traced his scar as tears filled her eyes. "Everything they told you was just as untrue as the things people told me. You are good enough, Harry. You are a good boyfriend. And you deserve the good things you have."
A few tears fell from Harry's eyes and he wiped them away quickly. "I don't - I don't understand." This was a strange breakup speech. It was certainly nicer than Ginny's had been. Neville was right. Hermione was the nicest person in the world.
"Ron doesn't want me back," she continued. "He's scared because he recently found out he's going to have to work harder to find his partner than he originally thought. But, even if he did want me, even if he came to me sincere as anything and offered me the world, I'd choose you."
"You would?" Harry looked truly surprised by her words which just made Hermione want to cry. She wanted to leave this flat right now and go curse everyone who had ever hurt this man.
"Absolutely," she said insistently. Then, for good measure, she kissed him, passionately and deliberately - attempting to show him with her mouth and hands more than she'd ever be able to put into words.
"But - I - Hermione," Harry said, pulling away. "I'm a mess. Look what I just did - ghosting you like that. You deserve better."
Hermione moved her hands to either side of Harry's face and leaned her forehead against his. "Harry. Everyone does stupid things. And you -" She cut off. Damn, Ginny had really done a number on him. Hermione loved that witch to death, but she could kill her right now.
"You're allowed to have bad moods, and disappear, and need time alone. It's better if next time you tell me what's going on," she allowed, "but you don't have to get it right every time."
She leaned back so he could see her eyes and see how sincere she was. "Being a good boyfriend most of the time is good enough. I certainly make my share of mistakes and I hope that doesn't make me a bad girlfriend - or - I hope you don't think that."
"I don't," he said quickly. He grabbed a curl and began twisting it around his finger. "So this - this isn't over?"
Hermione smiled. "You're going to have to do a lot worse than that to get rid of me, Weatherby."
Harry let out a small laugh. "Nice one."
Hermione moved her hand to Harry's leg and leaned in to kiss him again. He kissed her eagerly this time. Soon, she started unbuttoning his shirt and he pulled back, surprised. "Are you, er, you still want to-"
Hermione nodded. "Nothing's changed for me since last weekend."
"Oh, yeah. Me neither but - I don't - er, it doesn't seem very special. It's just a Saturday afternoon and we're not dressed up or anything."
She smiled and cocked an eyebrow. "I can go put that dress back on if you'd prefer."
Harry let out a laugh. He cupped her face in his hand and moved his thumb along her cheek. Damn. She was wonderful. How was he allowed to have her? He smirked. "No, that's okay. I think we should be taking clothes off, not putting them on."
Hermione smiled and stood up, then held out her hand. He took it and she slowly walked them to her bedroom. Once they were inside, Harry closed the door and locked it, just in case. He wasted no time taking off her clothes, then worked quickly on removing his own.
There wasn't much preamble this time. After weeks of foreplay, they didn't need it. Hermione jumped into Harry's arms, wrapping her legs around him and he walked her across the room, kissing her the whole time. He gently placed her on the bed, climbed on top of her, and resumed their kiss.
Hermione pushed Harry back and said, slightly out of breath. "I'm, uh, using a Contraceptive Potion. So we don't need a spell or anything."
Harry nodded. Suddenly, this seemed real. Like, really real. He was about to have sex with Hermione. Hermione Granger. His best-
Don't overthink it.
Harry took a deep breath, then moved a hand down and slipped a finger inside her. She was ready for him, but he wanted to be sure, to give her a final chance to say no or delay for a little longer if she needed. "Are you - uh - do you want me to-?"
She shook her head. "We've waited long enough, Harry. I want you. Now."
Harry positioned himself over her and she reached down and grabbed him, guiding him inside of her as he slowly lowered down. They let out a collective sigh as he filled her up and when he was all the way inside her, she pulled him close, digging her nails into his back. They stayed there for several moments, breathing in each other's air and relishing the feel of the other.
Harry began kissing her again. He took one of her hands and laced their fingers together and with his other hand, began caressing her breast as he continued to give her soft, tender kisses. All the while, he moved slowly over her, as if they had all the time in the world.
They didn't joke or poke fun at each other but kept quiet except for an occasional moan or a brief whisper of the other's name. They didn't need words this time and instead, exchanged a hundred verses with their touch.
Harry was glad she'd insisted they wait because he knew her body by now. He knew what lit her on her fire, what calmed her, and how her eyes darkened when she was close. He felt his own release coming and bit his lip hard, trying to stave it off. He moved his hand down and began rubbing her as he rested his forehead against hers.
She moaned his name against his mouth, then started placing wet, messy kisses on his lips. Harry hurried his pace, thrusting in and out and rubbing her hard, then he pulled her bottom lip into his mouth and bit it softly.
Hermione arched her back and thrust her hips against him. Harry grabbed her bum and kept pounding into her until she cried out. He pulled her close and felt her shudder around him as her orgasm passed through her.
Harry continued pushing into her, the tension in his body mounting. He kissed the side of her head and breathed in that scent he loved so much (honeysuckle, from her shampoo, he'd recently learned). Hermione moved her hand behind his neck and gave him deep, passionate kisses. Soon, he reached his peak, then release.
He grunted something incoherent - something about how beautiful and perfect she was - and using the limited energy he had left, Harry moved onto his side and pulled Hermione against his chest, keeping himself inside of her. She buried her head in his neck and they laid there quietly as they both recovered.
"I was wrong," Hermione said eventually. She leaned her head back to look up at Harry.
"Huh?" He still wasn't ready to form actual words.
"The first time we did anything, New Year's Day, I said that was perfect. I was wrong. This was perfect."
Harry smiled and nodded. He moved a hand to the back of her head and pulled her into his chest.
"I love you," he whispered when he finally regained the ability to speak.
"I love you too."
Eventually, much sooner than Harry wanted her to, Hermione moved away from Harry. She cleaned them off with her wand and disappeared into the loo, ignoring his taunts about how she was too sensible and needed to return to the bed this instant.
When she returned a few moments later, she climbed right back into his arms and he saw a determined look in her eyes.
"What is it?" he asked.
"It's time to tell Ron."
Harry let out a long sigh. "Yeah. I know."
A/N: Dun dun dun…
Funny story about this chapter. This is the first time I've ever written sex from a guy's POV. So I enlisted my husband for help. I asked him to explain in great detail what it felt like before, during, and right at the end of sex. He glared at me and said, "Good," then refused to say anything else about it.
So long story short, this chapter was brought to you with absolutely no help from my poor husband. Oh well, I tried. Someone who did help was my beta, Lancashire Witch. Thanks for reading!