Book 3: Astoria Greengrass and the Legilimens of Hogwarts
Song rec: "Too Far Away" by Gregory Alan Isakov
"Well, I think Draco's a Death Eater," Pansy Parkinson announced proudly. He's the only one of us missing after the Death Eaters came. They must have been so impressed by him that they recruited him!"
Theodore stifled a chuckle. Astoria did not find it funny. Parkinson was obsessed with Draco's "bad boy" role — forget the fact that he had been ordered to kill at the threat of his family being massacred. Parkinson had no concept of the danger Draco was in, or if she did, it did not matter compared to his sexy new title.
Rhiannon only tried once to say "I told you so." It had been an unwelcome, late-night conversation about Draco. About how even though Draco was forced to be a Death Eater, that didn't mean he was unhappy about it. About how his consideration of keeping the Slytherin students in the common room did not outshine the act of bringing in Death Eaters in the first place. Astoria needed only to remind Rhiannon of how profoundly touched she had been when Barty Crouch Jr had placed her under the Imperius Curse to keep her away from the last Task of the Triwizard Tournament. That did not outshine the act of literally resurrecting Voldemort, did it? No. So Rhiannon didn't talk about Draco anymore. Somewhere in the castle, Rhiannon had located Professor Lupin, and so Astoria did not see much of her for the next few days.
The verdict was that students could stay in Hogwarts until after Professor Dumbledore's funeral. O.W.L.s were postponed until mid-July and would be held at the Ministry of Magic rather than the castle. Astoria and Daphne would have been amongst the very first students escorted away from Hogwarts by their parents after Dumbledore's death if not for the fact that the Greengrasses had poured into the castle like they owned the place. They came for the funeral, yes, but Astoria despised the way they were also treating this as a social event. She knew that other, smaller families were having trouble finding lodging in Hogsmeade because of the sheer number of Greengrasses and their stupid inability to share quarters and sleep in bunks. Astoria's own parents, grandparents, and a few of the people from her great-uncles' branches of the family actually managed to score rooms in the castle itself due to their eminence. It was embarrassing, and when the other Slytherins saw so many Greengrasses about, it only increased the number of rumours about exactly what Astoria's motives were when she had attacked Vincent Crabbe. Daphne never said a word about that, and Astoria made a point to thank her.
It was painful to try to say goodbye to everybody. Rumours of the schools' closing spread all over, but whether Hogwarts remained open or not, Astoria would not be there. Although the Greengrasses did not act like it, they were soon-to-be evacuees. It took a lot of control to not prolong the goodbyes to Tracey and Montel Davis, who did not suspect that she was leaving more than just Hogwarts. Astoria, Rhiannon, Flora, and Hestia spent hours upon hours talking and avoiding the final goodbye. Ultimately, it came down to an endless stream of "miss yous" and empty hopes.
The students at Hogwarts were led out by House on the morning of the funeral. Professor Slughorn acted as the Head of House, and this continued to sink into Astoria's conscious. She had meant to impress Professor Snape with her O.W.L.s. She had been working all this time to show him that she was finally a capable witch. She could impress Slughorn with her name alone.
Accommodating the mourners of Professor Dumbledore must have involved a great deal of conjuring. Apart from the seats placed for the students, there had to be at least three-hundred people already sitting by the lake where the headmaster was to be laid to rest. Descending to the lake, the lake across which Draco had skipped stones not a week before, became very unpleasant for Astoria the closer she got to her seat. By the time she could recognise individual mourners by the backs of their heads, she was developing a headache. There was sorrow and fear and anger on all sides of her. There were myriads of fond memories of Albus Dumbledore and the difference he had made in the world. The force of everyone's reverence might have been enough to create a wake in the water. All twenty-six of the castle's ghosts were there, and Astoria felt Myrtle's presence and pain most of all, for the spirit had not been crying aloud, but containing it. Astoria asked if they might be able to sit near the edge of a row, for the middle was unthinkable. Hestia agreed first.
Flora's face was stony as they sat down, but she was consumed with terror and remorse, and thoughts of her aunt and uncle would not escape her. Astoria felt like it was a rare moment that Flora would not flinch at touch, so she reached for her hand. Flora's shoulders fell, but Astoria's migraine increased as she waited for the ceremony to begin, the sun beating down on her and making her dark robes feel stifling…
"Astoria, dear, come back here with me."
Without thinking, for there was hardly any room in her head to think, Astoria followed Professor Sinistra to the very last row of chairs. It was more comfortable back there. Astoria was feeling herself again, fully able to focus on her own experience of being at the funeral of the headmaster. Professor Sinistra equipped herself with a stack of conjured tissues. There were no other staff members back where they were, for they were all in the front. Astoria had realised that she had walked off without an explanation to her friends. Though it was not her friends who were so irked. Her father, having noticed some general disturbance in the area of her seating, came storming up to them. He was cut a dash in his most handsome mourning robes and had a band around his arm embedded with jet.
"Mrs— Professor Sinistra," said Astoria's father. "What is the meaning of bringing my daughter to the back row? She was seated in a good spot by the aisle with the other Slytherins."
Astoria stood back up instinctively to follow her father.
"Mr Greengrass, I apologise for worrying you, but I do believe Astoria would do better back here. It is a sad occasion and sensitive time, and your daughter is… a very sweet girl."
These last words she said pointedly to Astoria's father, with a little nod of her head. Astoria knew at once what her professor was doing. She was catering to the explanation Father wanted. A very sweet girl, yes. That was what he wanted to hear. She was too sensitive to be in the absolute midst of the funeral.
"Oh, yes, I do say she is," he answered, placing a hand on Astoria's shoulder. And then, as though Astoria was not there, he said, "She has never handled funerals very well, so it is for the best. Thank you for looking out for my daughter. I apologise for the misunderstanding."
"Of course, Mr Greengrass."
Astoria received a kiss on the forehead from her father before he strolled back to his seat.
"Thanks, Professor," she whispered.
"If he knew of your Legilimency, it would crush him. We have to shelter him from such horrid information," Professor Sinistra smirked.
A dirge began, rising from the merpeople in the lake. It befitted somebody so great, and Astoria grew uncomfortable at the thought of that angry letter she had almost sent the headmaster on account of the violence at Hogwarts. Here he lay in Professor Hagrid's arms, a victim of violence himself.
There were a few occasions during the funeral when people were unduly shocked and let out screams. Professor Dumbledore's tomb had been formed from flames, which had scared people, and the centaurs in the forest had paid tribute with an arrow salute. How rude it was to scream at a funeral, as though the reason they were there was not frightening enough. Astoria had an intrusive thought that it must have been people who had never been to a Wizarding funeral…
What would Dumbledore have to say about such a thought? What was she thinking?
As the ceremony came to a close, she wondered how her own thoughts had been affecting Professor Sinistra. It dawned on her that Professor Sinistra had not said anything along the lines of "I told you so" during any of their talks since the headmaster's murder. She was so accepting of Astoria's dumb thoughts and loud concerns. She still accepted her with her faults and mistakes. Astoria wished that she had always given Professor Sinistra the same benefit of the doubt. She felt small and unimportant next to the great witch. She suddenly felt nothing short of evil next to Albus Dumbledore. She did not deserve to be there. If she was a better Legilimens, she could have saved him. She would have figured out Draco's problems and told authorities.
"Shh, Astoria," Professor Sinistra said even as the crowd became quite loud. "Nonsense. The same could be said of me. Occlumency has more potential than Legilimency. We try to know the answer to everything, but sometimes, things do not align that way. The Ministry can't do anything, dear. Voldemort would come for you had you interfered. Don't start thinking these things."
She handed Astoria a few tissues.
"The train leaves in an hour. Are you going home by train?"
"No, Ma'am, I am going by the Floo network from Hogsmeade."
Astoria watched her parents start mingling with a group of people from the Committee on Experimental Charms, where her father used to work.
"I expect we will not be leaving any time soon," she added.
Professor Sinistra told Astoria to meet her in the large dungeon near the Potions classroom before she left for Hogsmeade. Astoria did not find her roommates to walk back to the dormitory together, but she did find Montel and Horatio and joined up with them. Horatio had recovered from witnessing Astoria's attack on Vincent Crabbe, although he warned her that Crabbe had made such a horrible face that it was unlikely his grudge would ever ease. Astoria did not care about Crabbe or his grudges in the slightest; he and Goyle had been staying well away from her.
"I still can't believe this happened," Horatio said. "Dumbledore took down Gellert Grindelwald and now, just like that, a small group of Death Eaters cornered and killed him."
"Well, Dumbledore was fifty years younger when he defeated him. I think it's quite amazing he's lived this long. The oldest person in my family died at one-hundred," said Montel.
"I think my great-aunt's one-hundred now," said Horatio. "I guess you're right. She probably wouldn't win against a Death Eater."
"Do you really think it was Snape?" Montel asked quietly, a sense of betrayal in his voice.
"That's hard to say. If it's true, I don't think it's what he wanted to do. But when You-Know-Who comes calling, you answer. Did you hear about those dementor attacks last month? I don't think anybody would have a choice," said Horatio hopelessly.
"Well, they do have a choice," Montel argued. "It gets you killed, though… I hope nobody gets ideas about asking my family to help You-Know-Who. We won't do it."
"Nor will we," Horatio said firmly.
"Nor will we," Astoria added. "Although the seventh-years with family involved… their graduation makes me nervous. They actually seem enthusiastic to help You-Know-Who."
Everyone went silent as they descended the staircase to the dungeons, thinking about how many familiar faces might become Death Eaters.
"I wonder what sort of letterhead you use for a Death Eater résumé," said Montel, breaking the sullen mood at last. "You would think a nice Dark Mark would do at the top of the parchment, but that might come across as overconfident in human resources."
"Much too overconfident. Best to go with the skull alone," Horatio said.
The common room was crowded, with students hauling bags and saying tearful goodbyes. Manami Ichijō and Chiyo Akiyama were taking pictures of the common room to save as keepsakes; they were moving back to Japan before their transfer programme was completed after having an unacceptable experience here. The cousins rounded up as many of their classmates as they could, Astoria included. For the sake of the photograph, she had to stand and smile near Imogen Stretton, who violently hated Rhiannon.
Back in the dormitory, Hestia had finally broken down. Astoria hated to see her and Rhiannon having to separate; the girls had been so happy together. It reminded her of her own loss of Draco. At least these two got to say goodbye.
Rhiannon was by far the most souvenir-oriented of the four of them, and even though they all had many gifts from one another, she led a very frantic exchange of items to pay tribute to the friendship. Astoria ended up with a careworn book on jinxes from Flora in place of the jet headband in her hair. From Hestia, she received a jar of crafting beads in exchange for one of Astoria's celestial maps. She loved her friends so much, and the thought of never seeing them again nearly crippled her.
Flora and Rhiannon sifted through their bags, and each took out a pair of socks at the same time. With a sad laugh, they traded. When Hestia gave Rhiannon her very own diary, Rhiannon pulled out the Foe-Shard from her pocket.
"I know this thing ain't always the most helpful, since it doesn't come with labels of who and where, but…"
Rhiannon cast a very light Shield Charm over the glass, then broke it roughly in half on the edge of the desk. She gave Hestia the larger piece, and at once, the shadowy figures in it changed to the outline of Amycus and Alecto.
"You look out for yourself," Rhiannon croaked.
"I love you, Rhiannon."
"I love you too, Hestia."
I never told Draco I loved him because I thought he'd laugh at me, Astoria thought, and she could no longer face her friends. He really would laugh now.
…No. He wouldn't.
Astoria and Rhiannon saw the twins to the train. There was no telling what Amycus and Alecto would do now. They must have felt invincible after having been in the group that killed Albus Dumbledore. Astoria said a helpless prayer for Flora and Hestia. It was all she could do.
"Professor Sinistra wanted to meet with me," she told Rhiannon.
"I'll meet you by the lake, then. I've got to say goodbye to Professor Lupin."
"I'll see you then."
Astoria had been going back and forth all morning. Once again, she was in the dungeons. It would be the last time. Every little action she took crowded the feeling in her chest. This is the last time, this is the last time, and this is too... She hadn't even been to her favourite location in the castle, the Astronomy library, ever since the headmaster was killed.
Professor Sinistra was sitting in a chair in the very corner of the room, even though she had plenty of open space to sit elsewhere. She was reading a roll of parchment that had Ministry letterhead on it. It was so long that it fell over her lap and onto the floor. The professor was unperturbed by the presence of the Bloody Baron, who was circling the room and moaning in anguish. Astoria almost walked right through him when she came in and apologised, though he did not seem to hear her in his agony.
"I'm glad you could make it, dear. I meant to show you the last book in the Legilimency series," said Professor Sinistra over the sound of the Baron's clanking chains.
"But Professor, I only returned the fourth volume on account of — of the headmaster. I had only read the first chapter of it. There's no way I would be able to read the fifth."
"Do you recall that I told you the fifth book is unfinished? It is no more difficult to read than the very first. There is a reason for that," Professor Sinistra said, handing the book to her.
For being unfinished, it appeared as thick as any of the other four. However, it weighed much less than the others. When Astoria held it in her hands, its cover changed to a doleful black-blue. Rhiannon had described the books as being like "mood rings" when they did this, and Astoria had been too embarrassed to ask her what those really were.
Professor Sinistra haphazardly rolled up the long parchment from the Ministry, and Astoria got the impression that she wasn't going to bother to read the rest of it. She was probably being called in for questioning about Dumbledore. How awful.
"As you know, no one ever authorised me to teach you Legilimency. No one ever stopped me, either. But I would be a very sorry teacher if I sent you out into this noisy world without showing you this."
The Bloody Baron, on cue, began to wail and shake his chains in his trembling hands. Professor Sinistra conjured a stool for Astoria to sit on; they both stayed in the corner out of the Bloody Baron's path. Astoria wondered why neither the professor nor the spirit bothered to relocate beforehand. It was like they planned to keep each other company all day because nobody else would listen.
"You recall that my friend Glenda taught Jonah and me Legilimency when we were still in school," said the professor distantly. "You also recall that my Astronomy teacher was murdered by Rabastan during my internship so that I would earn the spot."
"I do."
"I refused the position. By then, I had fallen into a state of paranoia and would not leave my home except to go to Azkaban to see my husband. I did not know whom I could trust. When I thought Jonah had died, I stopped leaving the house entirely."
Astoria had not gleaned this story from any of her Legilimency lessons, Professor Sinistra's mind having been occupied with the fresher and more salient tragedy.
"But Professor Dumbledore came to visit me no matter the state my house was falling into. It was through him that Severus and I reconnected. It was through him that I started leaving the house again. He would take me on walks to the castle. I talked his ear off. If I learnt anything from being with Dumbledore, it's that you shouldn't talk people's ears off, but he forgave me for that, and I hope you will, too."
"I don't mind, Professor," Astoria said, for she was presently wishing she still had hours upon hours to talk with her.
"Well, Dumbledore offered me the position again."
"And… you refused again," Astoria said, "which is quite understandable."
"Yes. But the second time, he put me on the spot. He was not afraid to make me uncomfortable, and he told me that it was not my sorrow over Professor Kleinhardt's death but my fear that was preventing me from achieving my goals. He said it wasn't becoming for a Slytherin to give up on their dreams. And he gave me the first four books that I have been giving to you, to further improve my Legilimency and reduce my sense of paranoia."
"That was very thoughtful of him."
"Indeed it was. I had become confident enough that I took the position not long after Jonah's apparent death. It became an outlet for me. And Legilimency became my cushion. Yet we both know it failed me again, and I blamed myself, as you were foolishly blaming yourself for the death of the headmaster at that funeral. It is so easy to turn against yourself as a Legilimens. I could find no balance between paranoid self-preservation and self-hatred. Just after Professor Dumbledore was reinstated as headmaster, after Umbridge left… he gave me the final book that now lies in your hands. He had saved it all that time, not wanting to distress me needlessly. But he knew the place I was in, and he sensed my desperate reliance on the art that had consumed me."
"I take it that this lesson will be the most important of all?" Astoria asked with an anxious smile, readying her wand at the mysterious book.
"Yes, Astoria, it will be."
It felt wrong for her to be using the tools passed down from Professor Dumbledore. Astoria felt like a walking crime. But Professor Sinistra was waiting.
"Legilimens."
"This was supposed to be Legilimency in Practice: Volume V. My publisher is very angry with me. He has refused to publish it and has made me pay back the advance on this book, but I simply must reflect on what I have Seen. Therefore, this book has been made solely by hand, and you, dear reader, are holding the only copy I have been able to create in my mental devastation. This is not so much a book anymore but my own diary. My own sorrows. Maybe someone will read it and understand me someday.
Much has happened since the publication of my previous volume. Indeed, scholars in the art of Legilimency are clamouring for the final volume, and I cannot pretend that I am capable of making it. I am unable, in my good conscience, to contain that much power within a book as I had planned. You, dear reader, will absolutely have to master Legilimency alone.
What I have Seen has frightened me. I do not know what to do. Anything I try to change will result in the same end. I would have led a happier life if I had not had this prophecy, if it had not been so close to home. I ask, reader, that you take this message to heart more than anything else you have garnered from these volumes. As you advance in Legilimency and seek to know the wills and inner thoughts of others, you must take special care of yourself. Knowledge will not give you happiness. As I warn you, I do admit, as both a master of Legilimency and a possessor of the Inner Eye, that the former has never caused me quite as much heartbreak as the latter. Simply be warned of what you seek. That is all I ask. I cannot finish this series as planned in light of the mental burden this prophecy has placed on me. I have been married and have started a family. I have a peaceful home. I have a peaceful home, and I can find nothing wrong with our family. I do not know where this will go wrong, or when. I love my family. I will always love my family.
I bid you farewell."
With relief, Astoria exited the dread book. She looked at Professor Sinistra, hoping that they would talk about what she had read and help her clarify her conflicting feelings. Astoria did not know, after having drowned in the final volume, whether she desired the blissful ignorance with which her parents had always hoped to protect her, or the knowledge and power over others she could attain with Legilimency. Surely there was some place in between, a place between her fear of being left in the dark and this author's fear from knowing too much.
"What should I do, Professor? I thought I was becoming quite skilled," Astoria said desperately, but she saw in Professor Sinistra's shining eyes that she would not sway Astoria in one way or another.
"What do you think you should do?"
"I don't know. That's why I'm asking you, Professor. It's very hard to stop trying to use Legilimency. I don't want this skill to stagnate! There's much more, isn't there?"
It was her last moments with Professor Sinistra; she should not have been speaking so irritably. Yet all of this was the professor's idea in the first place.
"There is much more, and there is much more room to fail. Do not forget that Theodore and Draco both knew of the command to kill Dumbledore, and that went right under my nose as well. I am dealing with that today — trying not to consider it another fatal mistake of mine. We all overestimate our power, and then blame ourselves for not saving the world. Sometimes, the further we excavate, the less we know. Based on your reaction, I can tell that you went into the spell at full force when I had already told you that it was as easy to read as the first book! There's much more information to be gained on the surface and figured out for yourself than by robbing somebody of their most secret fears."
"Then this was a test‽" Astoria asked, still upset that this was how Professor Sinistra was choosing to spend their last day together. "And I failed it?"
"No, Astoria. I am telling you this so that you learn from your mistakes here, and not where it may matter. You may certainly try again, for this is only a book, and not a human being," the professor said sombrely. "Do not hurt the book this time."
Astoria noticed that the book was aswirl with colours — an angry russet mixed in with the heavy blues, a light shiver travelled down its spine. She readied her wand once more, hoping to receive a reassuring look from Professor Sinistra, but the greater witch had shut her eyes completely in some sad meditation.
"Legilimens," Astoria whispered, finding at once that controlling her power meant controlling her curiosity.
"My baby boy… How could the Inner Eye be so cruel to me? How could it bestow this horrible curse? It lies to me! Oh, why can't it ever be true that the Eye lies… No matter what I do as your mother, it will end the same. If only you knew how much I loved you."
Astoria now left the book as fast as she possibly could. She finally understood where the line should be between knowledge and ignorance. Gwendela Bagshot was the mother of the Dark warlock, Gellert Grindelwald, and her own Inner Eye must have shown her his reign of terror, leaving her with a sense of helplessness — the weight of which Astoria could not imagine.
"With a combination of Legilimency and the Inner Eye, Gwendela and her son Gellert achieved the closest thing to omniscience that humans possibly can. I would fancy to say it ruined their lives, albeit in different ways," Professor Sinistra said. "I often regret not being more powerful, since I am constantly blaming my Legilimency's shortcomings for my losses. Sometimes I think it would be better if I did not have this ability at all, but I know that isn't true. It isn't true for you, either, Astoria. This feat can protect you if you know how to use it. You cannot change the darkness in people no matter how hard you pry. They must change themselves."
"I'll use it the right way, Professor," she declared. "If I don't control my Legilimency, I'll hate myself. More than I hate anyone who's lied to me."
"Very good, Astoria," Professor Sinistra said, and she took the book from her.
Professor Sinistra did not thereafter hesitate to leave the cold, dark dungeons for the sunny grounds again, and from the top step outside the castle, they looked down upon the many Greengrasses still socialising. Astoria spotted Rhiannon's strawberry-blonde curls bouncing in the sunlight, sharing the broomstick Professor Sinistra had bought her with Max Lazenby's four-year-old brother. A few of Astoria's distant relatives were glancing at Rhiannon judgmentally, as though no broomstick belonged so close to where someone had just been laid to rest. Astoria felt in her heart that Headmaster Dumbledore would not mind it in the slightest. Rhiannon was only trying to distract the small children on the grounds from their parents' crying.
"I'm glad I already took the Astronomy O.W.L. I don't know what it will be like at the Ministry," Astoria said, waiting for the signal to leave.
"You're not taking those at the Ministry, are you?" Professor Sinistra asked anxiously.
"Er, that's where they're being held, so that's where I'll be."
"But that isn't until late July."
"I know, I'll make sure I keep up my studies—"
"No, Astoria, that's not what I'm saying," Professor Sinistra said.
Almost instantly, the professor walked straight down to the lake, ignoring the path. Astoria followed, but she was not as fast on account of her reluctance to step in the soggy parts of the grass. Professor Sinistra made a beeline towards Astoria's parents and quickly grabbed Mr Greengrass's attention, saying something about the Ministry. With one hand, she pointed to Albus Dumbledore's tomb. With her other, she retrieved the charred remnants of not one, but several Howler letters from her pocket, and showed the mess to Mr Greengrass. Astoria read her lips.
"Rabastan."
End, Book 3: Astoria Greengrass and the Legilimens of Hogwarts
Notes: Thank you for reading the third part! I hope you enjoyed! Reviews are always greatly appreciated. I will be uploading the final part to this same story so the series is all in one place. I also have a prequel to this series, called Anomie. It deals with Flora and Hestia before Astoria came to school if you are interested (pre-1994). Thanks again!