Petal in the Rain

Chapter 5 – Because You Are Loved

When you're lost inside
I'll be there to find you
Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I will shine to guide you
Everybody wants to be understood.

-Josh Groban

London 1940 - April

Lily Evans lay on the dusty floor under her bed, opening and closing a used matchbox she had hidden beneath the mattress. Whenever she found herself deep in thought, her hands would fidget uncontrollably, making nearby objects click or squeak to shatter silence.

It was late afternoon, a little after twelve, and the weather was exceptionally dreary. Morning classes had adjourned early, for Lady Potter was holding another etiquette seminar for the St. Madeline's girls.

Lily watched students filter out of the school in bright yellow and red rain jackets, holding patterned umbrellas and avoiding puddles of water. Sister Agatha led the procession of girls, looking like a swollen muffin; the kind baked with too much yeast.

Lily had been forbidden from stepping foot near the Potter Estate by Sister Agatha. She insisted that no amount of etiquette would curb her wicked nature, so it was futile to try. Truth be told, Sister Agatha didn't want to give Lily another opportunity to have an extended stay at the mansion.

However, Lily didn't particularly mind; she had absolutely no desire to go anywhere near Lord James Potter.

It would be an understatement to say she was rattled from her last visit with the handsome lord. She could vividly recall the indifference in his debonair tone as he coolly demanded she leave, as well as his impossible stony glare. The memory of his face, earlier wrinkled with laughter and insatiable curiosity, suddenly contorting into a mask of fury still sent chills down Lily's spine.

Now she was determined to put her mind off of him. She recited the same line to herself over and over again, hoping the words would penetrate her thick skull.

However, it wasn't her mind that needed convincing.

Don't be stupid and get your hopes up. You are a poor orphan without a dime to your name, a name that isn't even distinguished. He's a rich, attractive lord with more prestige and prospects than most could dream up. What could you possibly have that he'd want? You're a conquest; a plaything to amuse him between the innumerable girlfriends he probably has.

Hmm…maybe he isn't just using me, though...

No, of course he is. He is using me. End of story. Only possible conclusion…I think…

It was Lily's heart that needed convincing.

"You're an asshole, did you know?" James shouted, pressed against his bedroom door to keep the man on the other side from entering.

"If you don't bloody open up, I'll blow a hole in the door!" Sirius yelled back, throwing his weight against the wooden enclosure and swearing loudly as he bruised his shoulder.

"What don't you understand about the phrase piss off, Sirius?" James demanded, angrily giving up and ripping the door open.

"Je ne parle pas l'anglais!" Sirius announced, pushing his way into James' room.

"Your French sucks."

"Your girlfriend sucks, literally!"

"Your mother sucks, literally!"

"That's quite disgusting imagery. Your face sucks,"

"Oh, that's mature."

"I've never been the mature sort," Sirius flopped onto James' bed and lay motionless, face-first into a pillow.

"What's this about?" James snapped, his hair rumpled and eyes narrowed at his annoying, so-called friend.

"It's about time you told me about this mystery woman you're mooning over," Sirius fired back, looking over his shoulder at James. "It's obvious you're in an irritable mood because of her. Did she refuse to go to bed with you?"

"No—I—mystery woman? I've no idea what you're on about, but I—"

"You prat, I saw you with her by the pond."

"You've been spying on me?" James demanded, folding his muscled arms while glaring daggers at Sirius. "Tell me what you saw."

"I spied on you and that sexy little number you saved the other day splashing around in the pond like a bunch of school sweethearts! Ha! Even stranger was that you seemed to be enjoying yourself," Sirius mocked, grinning like a maddened Cheshire cat. "You were actually smiling! You can imagine my surprise, I'm sure."

James groaned, collapsing into a high-back chair by the hearth, and gatheried his face in his hands. He had desperately tried to get Lily off his mind, and Sirius was only worsening his feeble attempts. Despite telling himself over and over that she didn't want to be with him, James had reserved a morsel of hope she was lying. He'd seen the emotion in her eyes; he knew her words betrayed her feelings.

At least he thought he knew.

"What'd you want to know?" James grumbled, relenting to his pesky friend.

"Name, intentions, breast size…although I guessed a C—"

"Her name is Lily Evans. I've no idea what her intentions are, or if she even has any, and mention anything about her breasts again and I'll petrify you."

"You're no fun," Sirius mumbled, sitting up and frowning moodily, "You like this Lily, don't you?"

"No," James said firmly.

"Liar."

"I don't!"

"Bollocks."

"Fine," James mumbled, acting more like an embarrassed schoolboy than a lord. "Perhaps I do have some feelings for her—"

"I knew it."

"You're an idiot."

It was seldom that anyone glimpsed James acting anything but proper and lordly. He was the type of man that retained an aristocratic façade; a mask that hid his true feelings and portrayed a passive, indifferent air. Ever since he was five, James' mother had told him how to act, how to dress, how to hide his faults and feelings...

Sirius knew the real James: a man, a prankster, a best friend. Not the unfeeling lord his mother had molded to inherit the Potter fortune.

Though he himself had never found a woman that could hold his attention for more than an evening, Sirius could see why James was fond of Lily.

Lily was normal girl, lacking a staunch aristocratic upbringing and therefore the proper robotic behavior. Sirius guessed she was just a naïve muggle-bumpkin, her spirit raw and unpolished, with no comprehension of the world she lived in. She hadn't a clue how important Lord James Potter really was, or the wealth behind his name, which Sirius imagined was one of the reasons James found her so appealing. She was simple, enviable, untouched by the warring world and free of obligation.

This was why James was fond of her. He wasn't a lord shackled by duty around her; he was free to be a just a man.

"I'm the idiot? As I recall, you're the bloke who's got himself infatuated with a muggle schoolgirl! Have I taught you nothing?" Sirius demanded, sighing and rolling his eyes.

"All you've taught me is women ought not be heard, just fucked," James retorted, furrowing his brow. "Excuse me for enjoying the company of one with intelligence and spirit."

"How you can imagine a workable partnership arising from this impossible situation is beyond me," Sirius replied in a patronizing tone. "Not only is she excluded from the aristocracy, she's a bloody muggle!"

"I'm aware of that," James snapped, refusing to listen to Sirius, "And frankly I don't give a damn."

"I thought as much...where is she now?" Sirius badgered, watching James go rigid, hackles rising defensively.

"Why do you want to know?" he demanded. "It's no concern of yours."

"You obviously have your coattails in a knot because you haven't bedded her yet. Being a little schoolgirl, I imagine she's a prude. Tell me James, how exactly will you seduce her sitting here moping in your room?" Sirius persisted, speaking to James as if he were a child procrastinating from doing his homework.

"For your information, it is not my objective to have sex with her," James angrily countered, gnashing his teeth. "I enjoy being around her...and... er..."

"Oh please." Sirius sighed, unbelieving. "You don't want to?"

"Of course I want to," James irritably confessed, frowning as Sirius' toothy grin spread toward his ears. "Go to hell."

"Haven't you arranged another meeting with her?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"She—I...dontwanttoeverseeheragain," James slurred, deciding to preserve his pride and make it seem like he broke off the friendship.

"Pathetic. Why doesn't she ever want to see you again?" Sirius calmly asked, watching James mutter smutty curses under his breath. He resented the fact that Sirius knew him so well.

"I don't know. She's a bloody female! They're intolerable and…incomprehensible," James spat childishly, frowning. "I don't even know what I've done wrong. I've never had to worry about my actions offending a woman before, it's maddening."

"That's the luxury of being a lord, my friend. Women will do anything to please you and turn a blind eye to your idiocy," Sirius whispered, the gears in his calculating mind moving erratically. "But this Lily is different. We'll just have to see…"

"See what?"

"Nothing. I'm off," Sirius said, ignoring James' questioning look as he crossed his lavishly decorated room. "Expect me later today. I'll be popping by again, perhaps with a gift."

"Gift? Where are you going?" James scrunched up his nose in bafflement as Sirius swept by him without another word.

Percival, one of the Potters' house elves, appeared in the doorway once Sirius was gone, his bulbous eyes bulging with inquiry. "Master Potter, sir? Would sir like Percival to fetch him something for lunch?"

"Something is wrong with Sirius," James mentioned more to himself than the elf, whose question he ignored; he scratched the bottom of his chin in confusion. "There's always something amiss when he visits and doesn't raid the kitchen..."

Sirius thumped down the main staircase into the entrance hall, than stopped mid-step. He glimpsed a group of girls dressed in uniform sitting in the dining hall, politely playing with forks and spoons. There, among the buffet of girls dressed in navy blue, was the same sassy brunette he had traded words with the day Lily had almost been run over. Her back was poker straight, a napkin lay in her lap, and she looked utterly jaded with the etiquette festivities taking place.

"Perfect," Sirius hissed happily, watching her through the slim opening between the double doors to the dining room.

He waited impatiently for fifteen minutes, hidden behind the doors, until the brunette excused herself from the table and headed toward the toilets. As soon as she exited the hall, Sirius agilely pounced.

"Enjoying your class?" he asked, leaning against a banister looking suave.

Startled, Roxanne turned toward Sirius, surprised by his charming voice. Before she spoke she observed him, taking a moment to recognize him from a few weeks back. She repressed her instinctive frown.

"Yes, they are quite enjoyable," Roxanne replied apathetically, deciding the man might be related to Lady Potter and be offended by the truth.

"Not a very good liar, are you?" Sirius smirked, his eyes sweeping her figure from forehead to toes. He wasn't concerned about appearing chauvinistic.

"Whatever you say," Roxanne replied in a sickly sweet voice, perturbed by his bigoted attentiveness. "Now, if you will excuse me—"

"Where can I find Lily Evans?" Sirius continued before Roxanne turned her back on him.

She was momentarily speechless, stunned that such a man would know Lily.

"Why should a gentleman such as yourself care about her whereabouts?" Roxanne asked in a shrewd tone, her polite mask beginning to crack; she was very protective of her friend and she did not like this man, his tone, or the way he looked at her.

"That is none of your business," Sirius replied tersely, though he secretly enjoyed her sudden feistiness. "Is she in the dining room with you?"

"Yes, of course."

"Excellent," Sirius chirped merrily, digging his hands in his pockets and heading toward the front door of the mansion. "Thanks for your help."

"Wha—where are you going?" Roxanne exclaimed, wondering why he wasn't investigating the dining room as she had hoped he would.

"I'm off to St. Madeline's School for Girls," Sirius said, winking mischievously. "Lily Evans and I have some matters that need to be discussed."

Roxanne watched Sirius Black exit the gargantuan manor and snap the door shut behind him. He was a smart man, she'd give him that, but Roxanne feared the reason Sirius was searching for her best friend. What could he possibly want with her? And how did he know her in the first place?

"Good luck, Lily," Roxanne whispered worriedly, heading back into the dining hall.

twenty thumbs
and twenty toes
submersed in deep turquoise
wax lips
ashen and withered
posing for the portrait

Lily put down her blunt pencil and shoved the unfinished poem she wrote on a piece of deteriorating paper under her pillow. She'd been writing quite a bit lately, having nothing else to do cooped up in the attic. Counting the floorboards was getting quite old.

She lay in her bed for a while, watching rain drops trail down her dirty window. In the distance she could see a small boy with a funny looking instrument, a cross between a broom and pipe, cleaning a chimney.

He was very sooty and black with ash, and Lily wondered if perhaps she would have to become a chimneysweeper one day too. She hadn't any money or relatives, and couldn't think of any skills that would help her garner a job.

She'd seen girls her age, ragged and impoverished, selling arrays of flowers on the streets, but rarely did anyone purchase any. Perhaps she would have to sell flowers on the street to get by instead.

It was thrilling to think she would be emancipated from school soon, acquiring a freedom she had never tasted, but the thought also scared her. She had nothing and nobody to escape to...

One of Lily's dreams was to become an established author or poet once she was freed from St. Madeline's, but such a dream was ridiculous. She hadn't the money to publish anything, and such jobs were seen as useless during such a time.

Wars weren't fought by writers or poets. At least, that's what everyone thought.

Last night, during dinner, Lily had heard Sister Agatha speaking with the other nuns about the war. Denmark and Norway had been invaded by the Germans, which would prove a fatal blow to Britain and the Allies. The coastline was key to Germany, for they now had suitable grounds to establish their navy. They had control of the air as well.

Lily knew what they were doing. Germany was strengthening their navy and the Luftwaffe in preparation for an attack on Britain.

The girls of St. Madeline's school had been sheltered from the war ever since it begun. Sister Agatha believed it wasn't prudent for women to be involved or concerned with war; therefore the students were completely ignorant.

But, of course, Lily knew quite a bit.

Lily got up off her bed and quietly opened the attic door, cringing when it creaked. Behind the door, asleep in a chair by the landing, was Sister Cordelia, her layered chin vibrating every time she snored.

Sister Agatha had assigned Sister Cordelia to keep an eye on Lily while the rest of the staff and students were away at the Potter mansion. Cordelia was a very old nun that no longer had the capacity to teach due to her nagging narcolepsy. What with Cordelia's uncontrollable compulsion to sleep, Lily could always escape the attic and roam freely about the school. It was a win-win situation.

Lily tiptoed by the drowsy woman and down the polished hallways. She decided to go somewhere she'd only dared to go once before; Sister Agatha's office.

Hearing about the war had peaked Lily's interest, and she intended on raiding the nun's headquarters in search of newspaper clippings. Lily wasn't going to be ignorant concerning world issues, and if she were to find a job after school, she needed attributing information.

Besides, it would be fun to look through Sister Hagatha's things.

Lily climbed down the stairs into the main entrance area, inspecting the hallway leading to the nun's office between the spindles of the stairs. Nobody was around except the school chef, who was no doubt shuffling about in the kitchen.

"Perfect."

Lily crept down the hallway and stopped before a pair of double doors encrusted with the school emblem. She grasped the brass handle and opened one of the doors, surprised to find it unlocked.

Lily had been in Sister Agatha's office many times, the last being when her hands got strapped by the slipper. Like usual, the drapes were firmly pulled over the windows and every surface was spotless. On the left wall was a large bookcase housing multiple titles, one picture of Sister Agatha when she was first appointed Head Mistress, and a framed certificate of excellence. Lily was tempted to rip Hagatha's diploma up into little pieces.

"Where to start..." Lily wondered aloud, going behind Sister Agatha's desk and opening drawers at random.

There weren't any newspaper articles in the nun's desk; just stacks of files neatly placed in alphabetical order and a leather-bound Bible. Lily continued inspecting the office, careful not to disrupt any of its contents, and heaved a disappointed sigh when no news about the war surfaced.

Giving up, Lily went back behind Sister Agatha's desk to close the mahogany drawers, but not before glimpsing a file clearly labeled "Lily Evans" among the others. Intrigued, Lily plucked her file from the drawer, noticing how thick it was.

"Naughty girl," a tall, shadowed man said from across the room.

Lily dropped the file she was clasping, papers carpeting the floor as she looked up in sheer terror. There, leaning against the doorframe, was an attractive man, maybe twenty, with brown hair and teasing eyes. He stared at Lily with an amused smile, his arms crossed.

"I-I-I," Lily stuttered, her porcelain features looking panic-stricken as she stood cemented to her spot behind the desk.

"Undermining authority, are we? I believe I'm already starting to like you, dear Lily," Sirius said in a deep, sultry voice. "What are you up to?"

"Do I know you?" Lily demanded, regaining some of her composure as her brain attempted to comprehend the situation. "You act as if you are familiar with me... have we met?"

"I'm sure you'd remember me if we had," Sirius chuckled arrogantly, nearing Lily as she backed into a corner. "And yes, we have met, but you were unconscious at the time."

Lily was perplexed with the handsome man. She hadn't the faintest idea who the stranger was, but felt skittish around him, like a mouse around a cat. His eyes never left her, observing her every move as if predicting what she was going to do next.

"Lord Sirius Black, infamous ladies' man and tabloid darling," Sirius deliberated in a debonair voice, making a short, royal bow. "A pleasure to formally meet you, Miss Evans."

"Yes, well, that's up for debate," Lily voice revealed her disquiet, her mistrust of the man remaining.

Lily intrigued Sirius, for she didn't immediately bat her eyelashes or loop hair around her fingers like all the other nervous, love-stricken girls in his presence. He'd found her in the midst of stealing from a higher authority, and in his opinion, she was quite rude.

She certainly had Marauder potential.

"Hmm...James did warn me of your—shall we call it—sass, Miss Evans," Sirius replied to Lily's backhanded comment. "But I am not one to hold grudges. Why don't we get down to business?"

"Business?"

"Yes, and I'm not referring to sex, but if you're up for it, I won't protest," Sirius cooed, winking and sliding an arm around Lily's waist; she stiffened.

"And you insinuate I'm rude? Tell me why you're here and keep your pecker in your pants while you're at it," Lily's eyes blazing as she pushed Sirius away.

"Your loss," Sirius announced flippantly, making himself comfortable in Sister Agatha's chair as he put up his feet up on her desk. "I am here on behalf of Lord Potter, the man you've seemed to bewitch with your charm."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lily mumbled, her heart quickening at the mention of James. "I think it's best that you leave."

"Not without you," Sirius said simply, leaning back and propping his feet up on Agatha's desk. "James would like to...convene with you at his manor. Will you oblige?"

"Tempting offer, I'll pass," Lily hastily remarked, heading for the door.

"He's not taking no for an answer," Sirius replied, stealthily maneuvering toward the door, blocking Lily's escape.

"Is it James that's not taking no for an answer or you?" Lily pronounced, irritated and flustered. "Get out of my way."

"I don't think so."

"Move."

"No."

"What do I have to do to make you go away?" Lily demanded.

"What do I have to do to make you come with me?"

"I won't!"

"Then I suppose I'll have to drag you to James' estate if you won't cooperate," Sirius said matter-of-factly, crossing his arms across his chest.

"I'd like to see you try," Lily spat, readying herself for escape.

Almost immediately, Sirius grabbed hold of Lily's wrist, preparing to sling her over his shoulder. Lily lifted her hand, about to slap Sirius across the cheek, but Sirius caught her other hand in his and restrained her. Lily struggled against Sirius, trying to wriggle out of his grasp, but his strength overpowered her.

Lily hurriedly stepped on Sirius' left foot with her heel, causing him to release her in a howl of pain. She ran for the door, but Sirius quickly overcame his pain and pounded down the hallway after her.

Lily turned down a sharp corner in the corridor, her breathing heavy as Sirius ran closely behind. She threw any object—like lamps or vases found along the hallways she traversed—behind her, making Sirius dodge objects as he pursued her. As she neared the kitchen, Lily felt Sirius catch up to her and grab a handful of her pleated skirt, making her trip and crash to the floor, Sirius atop her.

"Get off of me!" Lily shrieked wildly, her face pressed towards the floor as Sirius wrestled to control her arms and legs, "You bastard, you, you—!"

"Terribly sorry about this, darling, but it must be done!" Sirius announced optimistically, muttering a quick spell under his breath that summoned ropes to tie Lily's wrists and ankles together; something she was ignorant of.

Sirius took the piece of Lily's skirt he had ripped off of her and fashioned it around her mouth, prevented her from screaming or talking. Lily looked absolutely outraged, thrashing about on the floor until Sirius tossed her over his left shoulder. The wool cloth muffled Lily's mangled shrieks, as well as her incessant swearing.

"Settle down, we'll get those ropes off you as soon as we get to the mansion," Sirius promised somewhat sympathetically, heading for the front door of the school. "You gave me no choice, I had to get you to come with me."

Lily couldn't comprehend Sirius' relationship to James, or the reason she was being kidnapped and brought to him. However, she did know one thing for sure.

She was going to see James again. No, no no!

Sirius limped out of the building, his foot throbbing and a bound woman draped over his shoulder. Lucky for him, no one seemed to notice, Sister Cordelia still asleep upstairs.

James sat slumped in the high-back chair in his room, his nose buried in a Quidditch book. He watched players fly from page to page, occasionally throwing bludgers at other players or performing loops over the pitch.

Woollongong Shimmy
Perfected by the Australian Woollongong Warriors, this is a high-speed zigzagging movement intended to throw off opposing Chasers...

James had read and re-read the same paragraph multiple times for the past hour, his attention wavering for a moment, then returning to the same phrase, which wasn't permeating his thick skull. His thoughts kept drifting to Lily and what had transpired between them only two weeks ago.

Besides Lily, James was also stressed about his mother returning from Cairo. She had been home only a day and was already getting on James' nerves. It seemed Miss Collins had indeed been invited to tea by James' mother, who thought she'd be a "smart match" for any wealthy bachelor like him. James had gotten into a fight with his mother concerning the issue of Miss Collins as soon as she'd apparated back to England, a spat that had left them both furious.

"M-m-master!" another timid house elf stammered, tiptoeing into James' room via a secret passage located behind the fireplace.

"Don't bother me now," James grumbled, in no mood to be served or called upon by his mother. "Tend to me after dinner."

"But Sir! Mr. Black is coming down the hall and he's got a wo—" the house elf tried to say, hitting himself over the head with a fire poker mid-sentence for disobeying James, "he's—"

"I said don't bother me," James sighed again, waving the house elf away, "Go, now."

"But sir—!"

"Go!"

A few seconds after the house elf apparated out of the room, James heard heavy footsteps coming down the hallway. Repulsed at the prospect of being disturbed from sulking again, James walked toward his door…

BAM!

The door was kicked open by Sirius Black, who had his hands supporting something swathed across his back. His hair was ruffled, giving him the look of a man just involved in a drunken bar fight, but his expression was that of utmost satisfaction.

"Sirius?" James faltered, dumbly watching the handsome Marauder walk past him and towards his bed. "What the hell—?"

"Merry Christmas! Santa has brought you a present, even though you're already so spoilt!" Sirius jeered, looking more than pleased with himself.

It was then that James glimpsed a schoolgirl slung over Sirius' back with wavy red hair, a ripped skirt, and bound with yards of rope. Lily Evans was fiercely pounding Sirius' back, making every inclination that she wanted to be released.

"Lily?" James hoarsely exclaimed, his eyes wide at the sight of her tied up and squirming on his bed. "What the fuck are you doing, Sirius!"

"Let's call it a lover's reunion!" Sirius exclaimed cheerfully, depositing Lily on James' bed and heading for the door. "You better untie her quickly; we wouldn't want those pretty wrists to chafe."

Before James could cross the room to beat the living daylights out of Sirius, his brash best mate exited the room, closing the door behind him. James remained frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do, than speedily came to Lily's aid, removing the piece of cloth restricting her from talking.

"James Potter, what the hell you think you're doing!" Lily screamed as soon as her lips parted, glaring murderously at James, who looked stunned and confused. "I demand to know why you've hired that idiot to kidnap me!"

"I didn't hire anybody to lay a hand on you!" James protested, finishing with the rope around Lily's hands. "I'm as taken aback as you are, I swear!"

"He told me he was "taking care of business" on behalf of you!" Lily cried, slapping James repeatedly in the chest after she had been freed.

"Would you quit assaulting me, woman?" James yelped, backing away from an enraged Lily. "I don't know what Sirius is up to!"

"He chased me around the school and wrestled me to the floor!" Lily shrieked, her eyes burning. "He's your bloody friend!"

"He what?" James' jaw dropped as he imagined his best friend manhandling Lily; his fury with the man doubled. "I swear I had no idea what he was up to. I would never ask him to force you to do something against your will, never mind touch you. You must believe me!"

Lily pursed her lips defiantly while James heaved a frustrated sigh, staring at her pleadingly. He noticed her clothing was rumpled and ripped and boldly contrasted his pressed navy polo and pants. Seeing her in such a state made his determination falter. He couldn't bring himself to be cold or strong, not against Lily. It startled him to realize that she was his weakness. She looks so beautiful…

They stood in silence for what seemed like an eternity, breathing heavily without the formation of words. Lily's anger gradually started to melt away, leaving her suddenly dwelling on what had gone on between the two of them only weeks ago.

"Has anyone ever told you that you look really pretty when you're angry?" James couldn't stop himself from commenting, an adorable grin spreading over his stubbled chin.

"You're crazy," Lily mumbled, looking away with a slight blush as she fiddled with the hem of her kilt.

"Among other things, yes," James replied, trying to figure out what to say to Lily to get her to look at him, "So…how have you been?"

"Fine, I guess," Lily answered in a small voice, averting her eyes from James as she started heading for the door, "but, umm...I should go, so...if you'll excuse me—"

Lily couldn't look at James and most certainly couldn't stay in his presence any longer. James Potter was far too attractive, charming, and utterly irresistible to deny, and Lily feared being around him would only worsen her situation.

"Lily, don't go," James blurted out, torn between pushing her away or embracing her.

Lily turned, fighting the urge to bite her lip as she scrutinized James' face.

"Why would I stay?" she whispered, looking confused, "Don't you remember? The last time we spoke you told me to never come back."

"I was angry. I didn't mean what I said," James started, his voice pleading as he regarded the reluctant redhead, who was gradually becoming more upset.

"Why? Why were you angry with me? You had no reason..." Lily questioned, looking close to tears, what with all the different feelings she was experiencing at once.

James saw her resolve breaking, the anger seeping out of her voice and replacing with confusion and upset. He knew he was right, that she had lied the night of her departure. He felt a subtle flutter inside his chest.

"To understand my anger, you need to understand me," James said gently, reaching towards Lily to take her hand in his. "Won't you come with me?"

"Where? I don't know…" Lily faltered, her eyes betraying her teary indecisiveness.

"Please, Lily. I'm asking you to trust me," James caressed the palm of Lily's hand. "Trust me."

She couldn't resist following him, for her anger at being forced back to the mansion was gone and she was grudgingly almost glad to be back.

Not to mention, James looked amazing.

She mutely obliged, her voice getting caught in the back of her throat as the lord led her out of his room and down a corridor ornamented with rusting armor and pottery. James brought Lily into a room near the end of the hallway, filled to the brim with boxes.

"You brought me to a storage room?" Lily asked, conscious of how tightly James was holding onto her hand.

"Patience, m'dear," James said reassuringly, reading the label on every box.

Eventually the two broke apart, James finding a box marked "school" and dumping the contents all over the floor. Being very careful to choose a still life photo, untouched by magic, James picked up a picture of a woman in a pink dress, her smile spanning from ear to ear.

"Who is this?" Lily asked, taking hold of the photo and peering at the woman curiously.

"Her name is Laura," James replied, his eyes clouding over and voice distant. "She was one of my old girlfriends from school."

"Oh..." Lily whispered, unsure why James was showing her a picture of his gorgeous ex-girlfriend. "She is...very beautiful."

"Yes, I used to think so," James replied, his voice even, "The reason I'm showing you a picture of her is because she is one of the reasons I have problems trusting people. You see, ever since I started boarding school, my mother has been trying to arrange a partnership between me and a wealthy woman with a notable family who I would marry once I graduated school—"

"An arranged marriage?" Lily remarked, looking positively sickened as she and James took a seat on the dusty floor, their backs supported by the mounds of boxes.

"That's how aristocratic marriages are established," James affirmed, his eyes drifting between the photo and Lily. "I thought I'd never find love, what with my mother forcing me to date certain women, but one day I'd had enough of her meddling, so I made the decision to date whomever I wanted. That's when I met Laura."

Lily was surprised James was telling her such personal information, especially concerning his love life, but from the slight emotion in his voice and the torment in his eyes, Lily began to understand.

"Laura wasn't of noble birth, and she didn't even go to my school, but she'd taken an interest in me, and I thought I'd give it a go. She was just a normal girl...fun to be around, polite, and not clingy like all the other girlfriends I'd had. Naturally, I began to trust her, telling her things I wouldn't profess to just anyone, and she would tell me things in return. I was happy being with her because I thought she loved me for who I was, not due to my money or nobility. But I was wrong."

"What did she do to you?" Lily sighed, watching James' bitter eyes meet hers instead of focusing on the floor. She tenderly cupped her hand under James' chin, using her thumb to caress the skin under his jaw line.

James was taken aback by Lily's gentleness, but didn't let his surprise show as he cupped his hand over Lily's, making her hand slide down along his neck and linger their a little longer.

"One day, after we'd had a conversation about the possibility of a future together, Laura asked me how much money we'd inherit from my family. Being only sixteen, I told her I would inherit nothing until I was twenty-one, and, even then, might not receive anything because I was defying my mother by marrying her. I was surprised when she broke up with me the next day."

Lily looked horrified.

"How could she?" Lily murmured angrily, eyes blazing. "I don't understand...?"

"Turns out Laura and her parents were quite a bit poorer than she told me and were to be deported from the country. She needed me and my money to support her parents, and my marriage to her would ensure she'd stay in England," James said, clearing his throat, trying to regain some composure. "She later sold some of my secrets to the tabloids for money."

"How could she do such a terrible thing?" Lily exclaimed, observing him staring coldly at the picture of Laura. "I'm sorry…"

"I didn't tell you this story because I wanted sympathy, Lily," James spoke softly, his gaze unwavering as he stared into her eyes. "I don't care about her anymore, I was much younger and naïve. I just want to explain; this is why I became so angry with you. I blindly trusted you from the moment I met you, just as I had with Laura, and when you wanted to leave...I regretted letting you get to me."

"Do you still regret it?" Lily asked, red curls falling over her concerned features.

"No, you're different from Laura. I was just too worked up and idiotic to see it then," James replied, cracking a small smile and carefully placing his hand on her bare knee.

Lily shivered under his touch, feeling self-conscience under his intense, craving gaze.

"That's...a relief," Lily said, biting her bottom lip as a blush rose to her cheek; his hand was still gently trailing down her leg, making her feel light-headed. "About the other night...I don't know what to tell you...I'm sorry."

Lily couldn't tell James she was purposely trying to push him away, that she was scared her attraction to him would develop into something more, something that could possibly break her already fragile heart.

"When you trust me enough to tell me," James started, moving closer to Lily and making her gulp. "You know where to find me."

"Yes...and I'll be sure to check the storage room first," Lily smiled teasingly, regaining some of her fire.

"You're quite cheeky, Miss Evans."

"I'm sure you wouldn't have it any other way, Lord Potter."

"Ahh, you read minds, too."

Lily giggled and got up off the floor, swiftly followed by James, who caught her hand in his and led her back out into the hall. Once outside, however, Lily and James immediately froze as they heard many clicking footsteps coming down the adjoining hallway.

"Dammit, I forgot half of your school is here with my mother," James hissed, grabbing hold of Lily's forearm and pulling her into an alcove.

Lily turned around and grasped the handle on the storage room door, aghast to find the door locked. A horrified expression crossed Lily's face at the thought of students, faculty and Sister Agatha catching her alone and out of school with Lord James Potter. It was James' mother that scared him, however.

"Hide me!" Lily pleaded in a whisper.

There was no way around it; James would have to take Lily into the secret passage hidden behind the tapestry across the hall. James could've opened the door with magic, but he would risk exposing himself to Lily, which wasn't an option.

"Get behind this tapestry, quick!" James ordered, ushering an astonished redhead into the dark tunnel behind the gold-threaded cloth.

James' left ankle disappeared beneath the wall hanging just as the procession of girls and nuns turned down the hallway, led by a stylishly-fashioned Lady Potter.

There was no light inside the tunnel, leaving Lily and James fondling their way down the stony passage. Lily held onto the back of James' shirt, wordlessly following him as he tried to figure out where he was going.

"Where does this lead?" Lily wondered aloud, twisting James' shirt into flowers as she held on.

"The main foyer," James replied, wishing he could use his wand for light. "We'll be able to get you out of here before your classmates arrive back at school and find you missing."

James and Lily emerged from a secret opening in the staircase shortly after, both making sure the coast was clear before stepping out from the shadows.

"I should go," Lily relented, letting go of James' shirt and straightening up. "They'll be arriving soon and I don't fancy getting whipped."

"Dirty bitch, that Sister Agatha," James muttered scornfully, grinning at Lily's approving, unladylike nod. "Excuse my vulgar language, my lady."

"You are pardoned, good sir," Lily mocked, pretending to curtsy. James raised an eyebrow when he noticed the state of her kilt.

"What happened to your skirt?" James inquired mischievously, cocking an eyebrow as he noticed Lily's partially exposed thigh. "I hope I didn't do that to you."

"Dream on, Potter," Lily teased. "Actually, it was your good friend Sirius that couldn't seem to keep his hands off me, the prick."

"I never liked him," James muttered sourly, shaking his head. "However, I am in his debt."

"Why?"

"Though he may be a stupid arse, I am grateful to him for kidnapping you," James smiled at Lily's expression of girlish outrage. "Even if I didn't instruct him to do so."

"Well, next time you decide to kidnap me, I'd like you to come. I'd much rather have your hands all over me."

She froze as soon as the words left her mouth.

I didn't just say that…I DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT! What is wrong with me?

James looked positively gleeful after the initial shock of what Lily had said washed over him. The redhead turned a very embarrassed pink color.

"Have to run! Go-good-goodbye!" Lily stuttered, opening the door onto the Potter grounds and beelining for the back gate. Before she reached it, she heard her name being called out and footsteps quickly nearing her from behind.

Oh no, Sister Agatha?

Lily closed her eyes and turned around, ready to receive a long lecture, but instead felt two hands slink around her lower back and pull her against a firm, muscled body.

James Potter dipped his head low, passion coursing through him as he captured Lily's lips with his own, entangling his fingers in her crimson hair. Lily let out a startled whimper as he embraced her, his hands running down her back.

When James pulled away he seemed breathless, his swollen lips parted and his desirous eyes locked onto Lily's bright green ones.

"I'll be seeing you sooner than you think, Miss Evans. I'll make sure of that."

Author's Notes

Thanks for reading; please continue! Pop in a review if you get the chance; I'd really appreciate it!

Much love,

pratty-prongs-princesse