Petal in the Rain
Chapter 33 – Dig Down
"We have entered the fray, and we will not obey. We must find a way..."
-Muse
Lily tugged at the sleeves of her wool coat as she leaned against the willow tree near the Black Lake—what was becoming a favourite spot for quiet contemplation. With the sun barely peaking above the salt and pepper horizon, a cool wind blew through the Hogwarts grounds that morning, causing fallen leaves to stir and goose flesh to sprout along Lily's exposed legs. She felt skittish lying in wait, bouncing from one foot to the next, vexed she forgot to wrap a scarf around her neck.
Peeking around the corner of the tree, its wispy tendrils brushing her cheeks, Lily tensed when she saw Nymphadora Tonks jogging toward her. The air condensed around the purple-haired student every time she drew a breath, her trainers occasionally splashing water when she tread too close to the shoreline.
"Hello Nymphadora," Lily stepped out from her hiding place as the girl drew closer.
"Christ!" Nymphadora swore, clutching her chest as she came to a halt a few paces away. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"
Lily's smile was apologetic. "Sorry—didn't mean to surprise you like that."
"So it's pure circumstance that you're also out here freezing your arse off at seven in the morning?" Nymphadora challenged, yanking her damp ponytail loose and gathering it back up again.
"Not exactly," Lily moved into Nymphadora's path so she couldn't shrug her off and jog away. Lily had come prepared to face the girl's blunt, suspicious nature. "I've seen you and Amelia jogging in the mornings, and I wondered…would you mind a third?"
Nymphadora blinked, her mouth hanging open a touch. After digesting the information, her voice regained its traditional air of distrust. "Why would a society witch like you be caught dead jogging, never mind with two scholarship students? Don't you have a reputation to keep as queen of the school or something?"
Lily ignored the jab. "I want to get stronger so I become better at Defense…and I couldn't care less about what other people think of me," she said, though the latter wasn't quite true. "I saw you and Amelia duel in class yesterday. You're both incredible fighters. I could use some tips…and some training."
"Seriously?" Nymphadora scoffed, unfazed by Lily's compliment. "I wouldn't have thought you'd had a glimmer of interest in Defense, especially since you had Merrythought bench you yesterday. There's no room for cowards in this area of study."
"Merrythought didn't bench me because I wanted her to," Lily snapped, the memory of their conversation making her blood boil. "She did it because she doesn't like me and thinks I'll be an embarrassment. She also assumes my lack of skill will diminish what you and Amelia have achieved. I promise you—I'm no bloody coward."
With her admission, Nymphadora raised a brow. "Well blimey…has she seen you duel before?"
"No," Lily folded her arms. She could tell Nymphadora was a proud person, but also fair—and she intended to appeal to her sense of justice. "Regardless of Merrythought's judgment, it doesn't mean I can't try to get better on my own. I know you're concerned for my reputation—" Lily paused, a smirk creeping onto her face. "—but are you willing to risk your own by mixing with me?"
Nymphadora chewed on her lip, her hawkish eyes scrutinizing Lily. After a pause, she deliberated. "We meet each morning at six, irrespective of weather, and do laps around the lake for an hour. If you can't keep up, we won't slow down to accommodate you. And we don't use the time to talk—it's for exercise and exercise alone."
Lily's smirk became more pronounced. "I think I can handle that."
Still puzzled by the request, Nymphadora faltered. "You…you are…odd. Did you know?"
"Says the girl with purple hair," Lily pointed out. "Now, shall we?"
After her run with Nymphadora, Lily was on the brink of collapse. Her weak leg muscles groaned as she stood in the shower, willing the scalding water to wash away her soreness and the grim clinging to her clammy hair and skin.
She'd been impressed with herself after her first lap, keeping up with Nymphadora's aggressive pace, but it had quickly become apparent that her stamina was nothing to boast about, her legs becoming like lead weights trying to compel her to anchor to one spot. Lily could still hear Nymphadora's snort of amusement once she lapped her, the scholarship student's athletic prowess on full display.
Though her speed had slackened, Lily's determination not to quit had somehow kept her going, even when the Gryffindor Quidditch team had appeared from the belly of the castle and passed her by as they headed toward the pitch. She could still picture the quizzical faces of James and Rudolf, who watched her pathetic attempt at exercise in wonderment. Nymphadora had been right—a well-born witch reduced to a sweaty mess was a spectacle to behold.
Deciding she'd rather not receive the third degree from Rudolf at breakfast, Lily asked Mimi to magic a plate of toast and eggs to her room. With no one watching, she shoveled the food into her mouth, so hungry she nearly forgot to breathe between bites. After the impolite display, she elected to head to her Charms class early, keen on the idea of finding Professor Flitwick alone. She wanted to ask him some questions she had about a new spell she was trying out.
Gathering her textbooks and heading out the door, Lily was pleased to find the corridors near-empty, most students still chowing down in the Dining Hall. She appreciated the castle more when fellow students weren't watching her every move. She took the time to admire tapestries, portraits and sculptures in her relaxed condition—which was theoretically the result of brisk exercise. The solitude reminded her of the months she'd had Hogwarts all to herself, sharing it only with Dumbledore, Frank and Snape.
But better a busy castle with James in it than a quiet one without him at all, Lily thought, reminding herself not to romanticize a time when she spent day and night brooding over lost love.
Floating in a wistful tangle of memories, Lily only became reacquainted with her surroundings when she heard a group of hushed—yet familiar—voices sound around the corner. She stopped, pressing herself against a wall, thankful whatever corridor she'd found herself in was carpeted. As she neared closer to the corner of the wall, she cupped a hand over her mouth to mask her breathing. She didn't dare peek around it to identify the owners of the voices.
"How does he want us to prove ourselves?" an anxious male whispered. If the castle corridors hadn't been so quiet, Lily never could've made out his muted words.
"How should I know?" an arrogant voice spat in response—undoubtedly Regulus Black. "It isn't like I've had a personal conversation with him. I only know what my mother and father relay to me."
"Well your parents are among some of his closest—"
"It'll have to be something substantial—something that reflects well on him," a third male voice interrupted, steadier than his comrades. "An act that sends a clear message of our loyalty and cunning…something that will create fear and obedience…"
"And how do you propose we do that under Dumbledore's nose?" the apprehensive boy in the trio demanded, his voice rising.
"Shut up you fools," Regulus hissed. There was a clattering sound in the distance that made the boys still. Lily gulped, praying they didn't head in her direction to investigate. "It isn't safe to speak here. Do not breathe another word of this until we reconvene tonight in the common room, hear?"
Lily closed her eyes, her heartbeat so furious it was almost painful. The shuffling of muffled footsteps faded into the distance, assuring her that her eavesdropping had gone unnoticed. She loosed a shuddering breath, her mind racing with possibilities.
"Protego Maxima is a stronger, more durable version of the Shield Charm. When cast in combination with the Fianto Duri and Repello Inimicum charms, it conjures an almost impregnable magical barrier," Professor Flitwick enunciated from where he stood atop his desk, his pointy, too-big hat slipping down his forehead.
Lily was half listening as the professor flourished his wand with every syllable, a piece of chalk scrawling across the dusty blackboard behind him. If it were any class except her favourite, she could be relied upon to completely ignore the lesson, too preoccupied turning over the conversation she'd just overheard.
An act that sends a clear message of our loyalty and cunning…something that will create fear and obedience…
"The pioneer of Protego Maxima was an accomplished wizard by the name of Atlas Bandi, who lived during the classical period of ancient Greek history," Flitwick said, adjusting his hat. "Though he became known for his development of his near-invincible shield charm, Atlas specialized in a body of ancient charm work involving complicated chants and invocations. Such incantations were so laborious to remember and master, his life's work now resides in a few forgotten textbooks all but denounced by modern Charms scholars. As we all know, any lapse in concentration while charming can result in painful side effects—just imagine reciting a chant that can be almost a page in length!"
Lily was torn between the interesting facts Professor Flitwick was reciting and figuring out what Regulus' whispered conversation concerned. She wanted to learn more about the strongest shield charm ever created—in fact, it sounded like it could come in handy in a future duel she had idiotically agreed to—yet couldn't stop replaying the words of Regulus' cronies in her head. She wished she could identify who the two others boys were.
"Now, I will be endeavoring to teach you how to perform the Protego Maxima charm, as you are all advanced in your knowledge and ability, well beyond that of your peers," Flitwick said, offering up a proud, conspiratorial smile to the small class of six. "However, should you be unable to produce the charm following our lessons, I will not be docking your grade. To put it into perspective, this is a charm that only a few teachers on staff even know how to perform."
"Who knows how?" Felix Summerbee queried out of turn, though the little professor didn't seem to mind.
"Headmaster Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall and myself," Flitwick said, a note of cheer in his voice. "As I mentioned, it's a very tricky charm indeed. Once produced, anyone outside of the shield can't see or hear the wizards who are protected within it. It can be cast to cover a very large surface area—the entirety of Hogwarts castle, for example. Lastly, it can only be breached by a shield penetration charm, and that's only made possible when a very powerful wizard is wielding the counter-charm."
"Can it be used in battle?" Lord Basil Horton asked, not bothering to raise his hand either.
"Excellent question, Mr. Horton. It's important to remember that Protego Maxima takes significant time and effort to conjure. A great deal of concentration and energy are required, though quite a lot less than all of Atlas' other spells," Flitwick chortled to himself—it seemed Atlas was a bit of a joke in the academic community. "If, say, an opponent were about to curse you, you wouldn't have enough time to erect the shield, which is why the less powerful but rapid Protego charm is the right one to employ."
It isn't safe to speak here. Do not breathe another word of this until we reconvene tonight in the common room…
"Now, before we begin our practical lessons on the Protego Maxima charm, I'd like you to each produce a 10-inch essay on the history of the spell, from its origin to famous examples of its use. Why don't we settle on next Friday as our deadline?"
Behind Lily, Millicent Bagnold and Gilbert Wimple muttered under their breath. Homework was piling up fast between all of their classes. Was Lily the only one who actually enjoyed writing essays?
When the bells in the clock tower clanged to signal the end of classes, Flitwick dismissed them with a merry wave. Lily hung back.
"Professor…can you recommend a book that provides me with more in-depth information about Atlas Bindi and his work?" Lily asked, slinging her book bag over her shoulder as she approached Flitwick's desk. "I've read the Advanced Charms textbook and I don't remember there being much information in there."
"You've read the whole textbook?" Professor Flitwick's cheeks turned pink with enthusiasm. "Your passion continues to surprise me, Ms. Rockford! I suppose you could review one of Atlas's published works if you feel possessed to do so, but I must warn you, it's mostly gibberish. In fact, I think you'd find Mermish easier to understand – ha!"
"Are Atlas' texts in the library?" Lily prodded.
"Yes…but you'll need a note from me. Hogwarts owns only one book and it's housed in the Restricted Section," Flitwick said, distractedly reaching for a piece of parchment and a quill. "You will have to tell me what you think of it—from what you can make out, of course."
"Why is the text in the Restricted Section? Are the spells contained in it dangerous?" Lily asked, intrigue building.
"I really don't know if the spells are dangerous—I haven't bothered to try one out," Flitwick replied merrily, handing over his permission note. "There are some scholars who attempted to make a study of Atlas' work, but the only ones I've ever heard of having success are some Tibetan wizards living in the Himalayas. The magic practiced in Central Asia has always had a meditative quality about it—perhaps that's why they find it easier to command the attention and concentration needed for such intricate charms. I tell you, the incantations are pages in length! I haven't had the patience to give any of them a try. They're not very practical. The reason Atlas' text is housed in the Restricted Section of the library is because it's so old—Madam Pince doesn't want such a delicate artifact damaged."
Lily thanked Professor Flitwick, tucking his note between the pages of her textbook and exiting the classroom. She contemplated forgoing lunch and heading straight to the library to pick up Atlas' book and a few others that would form the foundation of her essay, but decided skipping two meals in one day might make Rudolf and Alice talk. Lily was sure Rudolf had already regaled Alice with tales of how she was seen running laps with Nymphadora, somehow debasing herself as a result. Would her friends really judge her for daring to be different?
Lily's thoughts flickered to Frank as she entered the Entrance Hall, wondering how he would feel about some of her recent decisions. He'd been so steadfast in her training, emphasizing how important it was for her to fit in to ensure her disguise—yet she couldn't bring herself to assimilate, as hard as she tried. Where Frank was wise and sensible, she was rash and reckless. Book-smarts and raw ability didn't always equate to sound judgment in her case.
A sickening feeling suddenly overcame Lily. The number of secrets she was carrying around with her was mounting. What would James, Sirius and Dumbledore—never mind Frank—think if they found out she was participating in defense lessons with Snape and secret duels with Regulus? And what about the unnerving conversation she'd just overheard? Her concerns about what others may think about her jogging with scholarship students seemed paltry in comparison.
"Aurora?"
Lily startled, wondering if she'd had too much coffee when she looked up and saw the tawny-haired lord she'd been thinking about lingering by the doorway to the Great Hall, hands in his pant pockets.
"Frank?" Lily blinked. Her chest swelled with a mixture of emotions—from excitement and relief to embarrassment and tension. She was on the verge of blurting out 'I've missed you!' and wrapping her arms around him when she reminded herself of their curious onlookers. "What a—er—nice surprise. I didn't expect to see you today. How are you?"
Lily and Frank kissed each other on the cheek. Despite his characteristic composure, Lily detected a hint of colour rise behind his ears at their touch.
"Sorry for the unexpected drop-in. I wondered if you had time for a quick lunch," Frank asked, masking whatever his true intention was. "The house-elves have prepared some tea and finger sandwiches for us in the private dining room."
"I…I'm sure I can squeeze you in," Lily relented, linking arms with him.
Frank led her to a room mid-way down the adjacent corridor, ushering her through a thick door and closing it behind them.
Looking around, Lily found the private dining room to be cramped, though comfortable, with one squat table fitting a maximum of eight individuals. Above it hung a golden chandelier collecting cobwebs. She guessed the space was designed for quiet meals between students and visiting family members.
"So which one of you is going to explain what's going on?" Lily crossed her arms, addressing the other two lords already seated at the table—James and Sirius.
"'Bout time you two got here," Sirius complained, removing his feet from where they'd been propped up on the table. "Where are these finger sandwiches I was promised?"
James got up and crossed the room to greet Lily, offering her a reassuring smile. "We thought it was time to meet and discuss some matters we need to wrap up."
Lily frowned, looking from wizard to wizard. She eventually fixated on Frank. The good-looking lord seemed eerily calm—like he was trying harder than usual to seem unruffled. "It must be important if you're here?"
"Why don't you sit down so I—we—can explain," Frank suggested, gesturing to the table.
Lily sunk into a chair James pulled out for her, the messy-haired man taking a seat beside her. Frank and Sirius elected to sit across from them. James' hand closed over hers under the table—something that usually gave her assurance, but now made her feel panicky.
"Has something happened?" Lily asked, analyzing Frank's indeterminate expression.
"Au contraire," Sirius mewed, his grin broadening. "Our good friend Frank has agreed it's time to put an end to your faux relationship. Now you and Jamsie can live happily ever after. Aren't you pleased?"
Frank flashed him a warning glare before turning back to Lily. "Dumbledore, James and I have been in discussion concerning the best way to transition out of this…"relationship"…and wanted to let you know what's been decided."
The fact that something had been decided without her input immediately grated on Lily's temper, but hope quickly replaced it when she looked to James. "You mean we're going to go public with our relationship soon?"
James' expression could only be described as gentle regret. "Not exactly. The time has come to release you and Frank from the lie that binds you together…but it wouldn't be fair to Frank for you to come out publicly with another relationship so quickly. It could damage your reputation, too."
Lily gritted her teeth, resenting James' reasoning. She supposed publicly jumping into another relationship would be hurtful to Frank, as it might appear like she'd thrown him over for James, but something told her he didn't put much stock in rumours or gossip, however salacious. Although, she could imagine Frank—being the protective friend he was—getting angry about scandalous rumours involving her propriety…
"There's also the matter of my teaching post. If it comes out that I'm in a relationship with a student, I'll have to leave…which means I can't be here to protect you," James said, his beautiful caramel eyes catching the light behind his spectacles. "I need an excuse to be in the castle so we can be together, even if it's just in private."
Lily's heart twisted at the thought of she and James being apart again. She didn't want to be relegated to seeing him on weekends only—yet…
"So the secret continues…" Lily sighed, turning to Frank. "How do you propose we end…us?"
"That's what I wanted to tell you…I've already taken care of it," Frank said, his eyes swimming with sentiment Lily couldn't decipher. "With Dumbledore's permission, I sat down with a reporter from the Daily Prophet whose been badgering me for an interview on our fictitious relationship, and I told him we'd decided to end things."
"You what?"
"This way we control the story," Sirius piped in, folding his arms behind his head. Lily still wasn't sure why he was present for the conversation. "Frank messaged this in a way that preserves both your reputations and ends speculation about duplicitous relations or any other unbecoming behaviour before it can even start."
"You mean everyone thinking I've cheated on Frank with someone else?" Lily scoffed. With all of the ridiculous things they were publishing about her in wizarding newspapers and magazines, knowing her name would soon appear in print again was a hard pill to swallow.
"I told the reporter the break was mutual—that we remain good friends, but that I can't handle the press coverage the relationship is earning, and you're struggling to maintain a relationship while dedicating yourself to your studies," Frank explained, sighing at the memory of the interview. "I think it achieves a favourable outcome for both of us."
A favourable outcome? Somehow, Lily couldn't ignore the niggling sadness that accompanied the closure of the chapter that was she and Frank. As much as she loved James, a small part of her heart belonged to Frank, too, and she knew she would miss the camaraderie and close bond they shared during the scariest moments of her life. It was his wisdom and tutelage that had gotten her this far, keeping her safe from forces unknown.
Lily reached across the table and grasped Frank's hand, the two locking eyes. Their gaze communicated memories, laughter, anger and—she hoped—a lasting friendship that no one else could lay claim to. "Thank you, Frank."
He nodded, a small smile guttering. It was enough to assure her that they'd be alright.
James was kind enough to allow them a moment of closure before clearing his throat. "So…now we decide on next steps."
Lily's attention was pulled back to James. "What do you mean? It sounds like you've tied up everything nicely."
"When the headlines read 'Lady Aurora Rockford Single Again,' you're going to receive an onslaught of courtship offers," Frank said bluntly, making Lily blush. Was she like some rare unicorn everyone wanted ownership of? "Our initial strategy of you entering society already in a relationship shielded you from the politics and relentless suitors, but now you're going to have to manage that."
"I'm sure I can handle myself," Lily protested.
"Trust me, you have no idea what you're in for," James said, his jaw squared. Was that a hint of jealously ghosting over his features? "There are powerful families who will want your name on their family tree—Dumbledore blood. They'll push their heirs to pursue you at all costs, even if they don't want to. That's why we've enlisted the help of Sirius."
Lily shot Sirius a suspicious, no-nonsense look, making him chuckle. "Count yourself lucky for my assistance, Lily darling—I could've said no."
"Oh god—don't tell me I have to pretend to be in a relationship with him," Lily scowled.
"Oiy!" Sirius protested. "Bloody ungrateful little…"
James laughed, cutting Sirius off. He looked fondly between Lily and his best mate. "As far as I'm concerned, you don't have to pretend to even like Sirius, but we'll be fanning the flame of rumours that speculate he wants to court you."
"What? That makes no sense at all!" Lily spluttered. "And he's not the only one they're speculating about: I believe your name has come up too, James Potter. You really want people to think your best friend is mooning over me? And since when do you want me ruining your playboy reputation, Sirius?"
When Lily turned her incredulity on Sirius, he merely shrugged. "I'm really too gallant and self-sacrificing for my own good."
Frank snorted, shaking his head. He turned back to Lily: "Despite Sirius' unsavory reputation, the Black family is one of the most powerful in high society. If the papers publish that he's actively pursuing you, there aren't many wizards who would dare throw their hat in the ring, fearing social retribution. On the other hand, if James' name continues to come up too, that will further dissuade other suitors. The Potter family holds almost as much power and influence as the Blacks."
"Unsavory, Longbottom? Really?"
Ignoring Sirius, Lily turned to James. He didn't seem to mind that Frank attributed more power to Sirius' family than his own. She flashed him an incredulous look, prompting him to further explain. "If my name is thrown around on occasion, but Sirius' comes up more frequently, it shouldn't affect my teaching position. As long as we don't give them proof that we're more than friends, no one can lobby Dumbledore for my removal."
"Isn't our "friendship" enough to get you removed?" Lily questioned. "I doubt many members of staff are photographed at night clubs or social gatherings with students."
"It isn't as unheard of as you think," Frank conceded. "Lines seem to blur when it comes to magical society—especially when teachers and older students aren't that far off in terms of age and socialize outside of school during gatherings of powerful families."
"It's a grey area," James agreed, a smirk creeping onto his face.
"The muggle world is so much simpler," Lily grumbled. She chewed on the inside of her lip, considering the situation. "So how is Sirius going to make everyone think he's trying to win me over? Don't tell me he's going to give an interview as well."
"We have more subtle methods in mind," James said, lacing his fingers with Lily's. "All three of us have experience with the media. We're going to use their hunger for a story to our benefit this time around."
When Lily sunk onto the bench at the Gryffindor table for dinner, her mind was racing and her stomach grumbling. She'd missed lunch as a result of James, Frank and Sirius debriefing her on strategy and next steps concerning her "public persona." Since then, she'd felt almost numb—like her brain had been working at such break-neck speed that it'd burnt out like an old light bulb.
Waiting for her friends to arrive, Lily found herself holding back tears as she drank from her goblet of pumpkin juice. She'd barely registered a word of her afternoon Care of Magical Creatures class, ominous eavesdropping and tips on fooling the media supplanting bowtruckles and flesh-eating slugs.
There was something undeniably overwhelming about pretending to be someone else, especially when you were still struggling to figure out who you were and what you wanted.
A shuddering breath escaped Lily's lips, awakening her awareness. She could feel panic welling from inside—a senseless, uncontrolled fear. Her eyes feverishly looked around, trying to pinpoint if anyone noticed her visible upset, before sliding to the professor's table and finding James. He was looking straight at her, his concern palpable even from her considerable distance away.
Her appetite gone, Lily rose from the house table and headed for the door, desperate to retreat to the safety of her room so she could properly unleash her emotions. She needed time to think, to process, and to plan.
In her haste, Lily walked straight into a student entering the Dining Hall. She staggered back, but male hands grabbed her by the shoulders in time to steady her. Startled, she looked up into her savior's face, ready to gush rambled apologies.
"If you'd been anyone else, you'd have your teeth knocked out and would be eating your dinner through a straw," Regulus Black crooned, pulling a hand through his black hair to fix the strands that had been jerked loose. Lily's skin burned where his hands had been. "You're fortunate I don't like to spoil beautiful things, Lady Rockford."
Lily's agitation shifted toward lethal calm. "You know, I had every intention of apologizing, but now I feel more inclined to curse you, Black."
Regulus' chuckle was blithe. "Save it for our duel, Rockford."
"Speaking of," Lily narrowed her eyes, her tone as soft as a whisper. "You have yet to name your terms—or a time, in fact. Regretting our bargain?"
"You're a riot today," Regulus smiled, arrogance leeching from his every pore. "It takes a lot to scare me, Lady Rockford—certainly more than a pretty witch who can barely stand on two feet, never mind produce a spell powerful enough to unnerve me. Why don't we say a week before the Halloween Ball?"
Lily hadn't a clue what the Halloween Ball was, but didn't much care. "And your terms?"
"Am I interrupting something?" James said, suddenly appearing beside Regulus, his tone light, but ice-tipped. "Don't loiter near the doorway, Black, you're getting in people's way."
Regulus shot James an indignant, loathsome look before turning back to Lily. "We'll catch up later, Rockford. I'm looking forward to it."
Lily grimaced as she watched Regulus stalk off. She still didn't know what she'd have to risk giving him if she lost their duel and wasn't sure if her imaginations were better or worse than the reality.
"What was that about?" James asked, his pitch furtive. "Has Regulus been giving you a hard time? Don't think I haven't noticed him paying special attention to you."
"It's nothing," Lily dismissed, her mind elsewhere as she offered James a weak smile and turned to leave the Dining Hall.
"Leaving so soon? Dinner hasn't started yet."
Lily looked back at James. To everyone else, he would appear calm, exuding his characteristic confidence and easiness, but she could sense his worry. Whatever had passed between them—whatever had shown on her face when she looked at the professors' table—had been enough to alert him that something wasn't right.
"I'm going to lie down," Lily said, not looking him in the face as students passed them by, eager for their dinner. She didn't want him to see her close to tears, knowing they'd flow freely if he realized her upset. "Long day."
"Are you alright? I know between the disappointment of your Defense class yesterday and our conversation at lunch, you've had a stressful few days…" James trailed off, clenching his hand into a fist. He was struggling to keep from reaching out to her, lifting her chin so she'd meet his eyes. "I want to talk, straighten everything out between the two of us, hear the full story of what transpired with Merrythought yesterday—I just can't tonight. There's an Order meeting I can't miss—"
"Don't worry, I'm fine. Just tired," Lily said, focusing on anything but James' face. Her eyes befell a collection of boys dressed in green emerging from the corridor leading to the dungeons: Regulus' cronies on their way to meet him for dinner. Lily's sadness drained, replaced with an unexpected objective. She looked up at James, mustering a smile. "I might be hungry when I wake up, though. A visit to the kitchens may be in order…can you loan me your cloak and the map?"
James looked surprised, if not amused. Her inclination for mischief was a reprieve for him—assurance that she was just fine and simply tired as she'd said. Lily felt a twisting stab of guilt for lying to him.
"I suppose I can do that. But promise not to get caught—I can't have my prized possessions confiscated," James smirked.
"But my suspension is acceptable?" Lily joked.
"You've got connections with the higher-ups at this school…I think you'll be alright," James said. "I'll have my house-elf deliver both items after dinner. I wish I could join you."
"I understand. You can't miss an important meeting," Lily reassured, side-glancing a few staring students, afraid Rudolf and Alice might spot her and coax her back into the Dining Hall for a meal with them. When her gaze met James' again, taking in his tousled hair, chiseled jaw-line, perfect lips…for just a moment, she was tempted to tell him exactly what she intended to do—to spill every secret she'd kept from him and remove every invisible obstacle in their relationship. But she didn't. "I will be fine, I promise."
The Hogwarts grounds were shrouded in darkness—moonlight barely peeking through gloomy nighttime clouds—when Lily prepared her furtive trip to Slytherin headquarters.
She sat cross-legged on her bed with the Marauder's Map spread out before her, her eyes following the names that moved about it from place to place. From what she could tell, everyone had vacated the Dining Hall and corridors to their respective common rooms in time for curfew. In fact, there were so many dotted names congregated in each house's dormitory that they were barely legible. Meanwhile, the names of professors were clearly visible, many lonesome dots found in their offices, including that of Headmaster Dumbledore.
After spending a considerable amount of time studying the map, Lily pulled on a cardigan over the Hogwarts uniform she still wore and slipped the brilliant tool into one of her pockets. Next she pocketed her wand, then slung James' intricate invisibility cloak over her head and shoulders. If she'd been even an inch taller, her disembodied feet would've peeked through, revealing her presences to horror-struck onlookers.
Lily slipped out of her room and down the padded corridors, moving with purpose and caution as she made her way toward the magical, moving staircase. Whether due to planning or sheer luck, she didn't run into any professors or ghosts along the way, and knew the custodian Argus Filch was prowling around with his nasty feline on the other side of the castle.
After moving quietly across the expanse that was the flickering Entrance Hall, Lily slipped into the hallway leading down to the dungeons, her insides beginning to twist with anxiety. As she made her way down the damp and dingy corridor that led to the Slytherin common room, she noticed the door to Severus' office ajar. Too curious not to check, she held her breath as she approached it.
A dribbling candle casting the room's only light, Lily found Severus hunched over a book at his desk, a small cauldron bubbling beside him. Whatever the potion was, it smelled heavenly—a woody, spicy scent that reminded her of fall. She wondered what he was brewing and what had possessed him to work at such a late hour, but was brought back to reality when he suddenly stirred in his seat, his neck snapping in the direction of the doorway.
Lily planted a hand over her mouth and flattened herself against the wall as he stared in her direction. His eyes searched, assessed, and he only turned back to his book after more than a minute of unyielding watch.
Aware that she was pressing her luck, Lily tiptoed away from Snape's office toward the end of the corridor, where she was met with a bare stone wall.
"Salazar," Lily whispered the password provided on the map, watching as stones magically shifted away to reveal another shadowy passage leading downwards.
Taking a shaky breath, Lily quietly entered, her eyes having trouble adjusting to the dark that seemed to seep from cracks between every stone lining the corridor. However, the further she plunged down the passage, the more the black seemed to shift into lemony-green—what could only be likened to the colour of a swampy lake illuminated by moonlight.
Chilly moisture followed Lily all the way through to the mouth of the corridor as it opened up to what could be described as a grand underwater shipwreck. It took Lily a long time to take it all in: the rough stone walls covered in emerald and silver banners; a huge mantle above a roaring fire and below a massive portrait of a serpent; stained-glass windows that leeched greenish light—what she knew now was the underbelly of the Great Lake; collections of leather chairs and couches; and display cupboards lined with unusually-shaped skulls. The Slytherin common room had an impressive atmosphere to be sure, but one that still spoke of coldness.
Lily was now convinced that luck was on her side as she spotted Regulus Black brooding in a lounge chair by the fire. There were a few students still milling about the common room, including a young girl scratching away at an essay at one of a collection of writing desks illuminated by green lamps, but he didn't seem to notice. Seeing her chance, Lily skulked closer to Regulus, slinking around the perimeter of the room to avoid physically running into anyone, and settled in a corner nearby the fire that gave her a perfect view of her target.
As a few students yawned and headed for their dormitories, Lily's eyes staid trained on the handsome face of Regulus, the boy who so strikingly resembled his older brother. Usually creased with an arrogant smile or defiant glower, she was silently fascinated to see the high-born boy with his guard down. After careful study, she couldn't decide if he was worried or furious, his eyes like dark, unreadable pools of some roiling emotion. Despite a glimpse of vulnerability, it didn't seem to make him any less dangerous to Lily.
"All of you piss off," Evan Rosier snarled as he descended a staircase from the male dormitories and lorded over the common room with Thorfinn Rowle on his tail. A pair of male students in the corner scowled at him but obeyed, and the little girl writing her essay quickly picked up her materials and headed for the girls' dormitories, ink staining her fuzzy sweater in her haste to make herself scarce.
Lily's eyes slid back to Regulus, whose face had wholly transformed into a mask of irritation at the sound of his friends. She took a few steps backwards, waiting to see where the two Slytherin boys would take their seats, before slipping even closer to the trio. Her heart pumped with pure adrenaline.
Regulus refrained from greeting his companions, instead continuing to glare at the robust fire. Lily watched as Rosier leaned back into his leather chair, looking rather pleased with himself. "Apologies if I've kept you waiting—Lysandra and I were caught up in other activities upstairs."
Rowle snorted, wiggling his eyebrows. "So she's finally given in to your advances, has she?"
"The wait was worth it," Rosier's grin was positively feral. "Next I'll work on convincing Lysandra and Violetta to service me together, rather than separately. If I manage it, you're welcome to watch—I take pity on pug-faced wizards like you who aren't likely to even bed one witch, never mind two."
Before Rowle could bite back a response, Regulus snapped, "If you two are here to waste my time regaling me with stories of conquering pathetic, simpering ladies that nobody would touch unless all the lights were off, then I'm going to bed."
Rosier scoffed, his cheeks growing red. "The only beautiful Slytherin lady is your cousin, Narcissa, and I haven't got a chance with her—what other options do I have if I'm not to lead the life of a monk?"
"Yes—who would you suggest we chase if not our own women, Regulus? Shall we lower ourselves to a Gryffindor lady? Or perhaps a scholarship student?" Rowle joked, earning cruel laughter from Rosier.
Lily stiffened, disgusted by the nature of the conversation she was overhearing.
"There are some Gryffindor ladies that are far superior in looks and breeding than Violetta Bulstrode and Lysandra Yaxley," Regulus challenged, an arrogant chortle surfacing. His friends appeared surprised by his admission. "You won't see me fucking donkeys like those two when there are thoroughbred mares worth the pursuit."
"I cannot imagine who you are referring to," Rosier said, flabbergasted. "And even if there are other ladies here of superior beauty and breeding, I know of none outside our own that share our allegiances."
"Are we talking of sex or of courtship, Rosier?" Regulus rolled his eyes at the boy like he was an ignorant child. "Just because a beautiful woman doesn't share in my beliefs doesn't mean I can't take her to bed and enjoy all that she has to offer. I may be destined to marry some foul woman my parents have chosen for me, but that doesn't mean I can't dip into the exceptional specimens who make sex outstanding."
"I doubt being associated with a Gryffindor or mudblood would win us points with the Dark Lord," Rowle whispered, causing Regulus to stiffen. "Nor our families."
"But killing one on the other hand…" Rosier started, firelight dancing in his intense eyes.
"You must consider yourself very clever if you believe you'll get away with killing within Hogwarts' walls and not land yourself a kiss with a dementor," Regulus snarled, his fury suddenly a palpable, powerful thing. "And you won't be any use to the Dark Lord as a soulless vegetable, though you're little more than that now."
"We make it look like an accident," Rowle corroborated, eager enough to let the offense slide. "We'll choose a group event where we'll blend into the crowd, or perhaps we curse an object or poison—"
"I won't hear your lunatic ideas for getting us all killed," Regulus hissed, rising from his chair with force. "You two are on your own for winning your place at the Dark Lord's side; I will follow my own path to loyalty—one that doesn't require the assistance of two boneheads bound for a life of luxury in Azkaban."
Regulus stormed off without another word, leaving Rosier and Rowle staring at one another in disbelief. As they also moved to get up and leave, Lily absorbed the information she'd learned and crept out of the Slytherin common room.
Her heart was racing as Lily scurried down the dimly lit corridor leading back to the Gryffindor dormitories. She flew past the portrait of a snoozing Fat Lady and toward her suite, pulling off the invisibility cloak that had protected her from notice. Collecting it under her arm, Lily scratched the gargoyle lion under his ear and whispered the password to her room. When the tapestry rolled back to unveil her gold-plated door, she fumbled with the handle and dashed inside the pitch-black room.
"I was wondering when you'd turn up," a flat voice sounded from the darkness, causing Lily to jump out of her skin.
"Lumos," she hissed, the end of her wand spearing the room with light as she turned it on the wizard sitting on her bed with his arms crossed. Her stomach dropped.
"We were let out of the Order meeting early, so I went to find you in the kitchens," James said without flinching, his tone laced with a level of mistrust Lily had never before experienced from him. "You weren't there."
Considering a plausible scenario, Lily deflected angrily, "You shouldn't have surprised me like that." She deposited the crinkled map and cloak on the bed beside James and shrugged out of her cardigan, continuing, "It's my room—it's not right that you entered without permission and waited for my return so you could interrogate me like some naughty school girl. Don't I deserve more than that?"
James' eyes narrowed—he wasn't buying into her guilt trip. "If you want to set boundaries for your privacy, I'm fine with that—but that doesn't explain you lying to me about your whereabouts and using my own cloak and map to do it."
"I took a detour to the library to pick up a book," Lily lied, throwing Atlas Bandi's charms text onto her bed to serve as proof. She recited a silent prayer that she'd decided to swing by the Restricted Section of the library on her way back from the Slytherin dormitories. "Now, if you'll put your unfounded suspicion to rest, there's a conversation I've just overheard that you need to know about."
Author's Notes
Please continue to read and review :)
pratty-prongs-princesse