AN: So I want to start out by pointing out that Abigail is a legal joint owner of the property who did not know that Rory had moved in...but I love Abigail. She deserves the best. lol. Anyway, read, review, enjoy...genuinely...review...the reviews tend to remind us if we should keep going on these stories or not... I'm hopeful for another update late this weekend or early next week.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls
Chapter Ten
"Ace," Logan shouted as he swung the door to the apartment open, he had been waiting at his office for nearly an hour by the time he gave up on waiting for Abigail who also hadn't responded to his calls. "Sorry I'm late," he dropped his coat and walked into the living room. "Abigail…is…what are you…"
"You're late," Abigail took a sip from the bottle of Perrier she had taken from the fridge.
"I was…you were…" Logan looked at her with confusion.
"Read your messages again Logan," Abigail pulled out her own phone and began to read from his last text message the night before, "I'll meet you at the apartment after lunch with Col and Finn. Probably easier than the office. Hope the change is alright. So you can imagine Rory's surprise when I showed up…"
If his stomach wasn't already in his throat, it was now, "you saw Rory?"
"I was on my best behaviour," Abigail stood up as Logan walked to the kitchen and grabbed himself a water. "Would've been nice to know you moved her in here."
Logan took a sip of the water, naively hoping it would help the racing in his chest he was feeling at the idea of Rory and Abigail in a room together. Sure Abigail was taking this well but he wasn't sure that he would do particularly well if he were left alone in a room with Dean right now. "I'm sorry for the mix up," he finally spoke, "sit?"
Abigail returned to the chair she had been waiting in and crossed her legs, she leaned forward and placed her phone on the table and waited for Logan to speak. This of course was why she had asked Rory not to warn him that she was there. Maybe it was selfish, but she had been shocked enough for one lifetime over the last few weeks, she wanted to have this moment of feeling like she had the upper hand with him. "So, you have some paperwork?"
Logan handed her a folder which went over some of the specifics of the custody arrangement. It was something that couldn't have been completely hammered out when they wrote their prenup because they didn't know what his work situation would be if and when they divorced. "I think it's fair."
"And you are thinking that we will celebrate what we can together?"
"I think that for us to celebrate their birthday when possible would be good for them. I'm not asking to spend Christmas with you, we'll rotate Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas…I think the other holidays we should ask the kids what they want. If they want to be home with you for Memorial Day and with me on July 4th… let them decide that within reason. There will be times that you might want to travel or I could be away on business.."
"That makes sense," Abigail initialed the document. "And what about new partners?"
"What about them?" Logan asked, he licked his lips and creased his brow slightly, he wasn't completely sure what her ask was and he didn't want to offer more information than he had to.
"Well you've moved the woman who destroyed our marriage in, so presumably if you plan on having the kids stay here they would be meeting her. Is her daughter going to be living here as well? This is a three bedroom apartment and there are three children…"
"I wouldn't introduce her to the kids without talking to you first," Logan told her calmly. "You know me better than that Abigail."
"I thought I did," she fired back. She wasn't angry but she also wasn't going to make this easier for him. "You know…when I confronted you about this…" she paused as tears came to her eyes, "I thought it was a fling. I thought you were sleeping with someone. It didn't matter who. You're a man, an attractive and powerful one at that…you acted on that impulse. I thought…while that may have been embarrassing…you gallivanting around town buying lingerie for some clueless intern…" she let a few tears fall and Logan gave her a pained look. "You fell in love with someone…how could you do that to me?" Abigail finally let go and sobbed. "What did she have that I didn't? That you would throw our family away like garbage to start again with someone else!"
Logan wanted to comfort her. He wanted to stand up and pull her into his arms and hold her, to rub her back and tell her it would all be alright, but he knew that wouldn't be fair to her. He wanted to hold her because he loved her, she was the mother of his children, a woman he had known for most of his adult life…but he wasn't in love with her and she didn't deserve the pain of confusing those two things. "Abigail I'm sorry," he had said it so many times to her he wasn't sure if she even heard it anymore. "There is…there is no excuse for what I did to you. You didn't deserve what I did and neither did the kids…but you also didn't deserve to be strung along in a relationship with a man who wasn't in love with you anymore."
"Screw you!" Abigail looked up, "you don't get to decide what I deserve not anymore."
Logan nodded his head. "If she's going to be living here, I think I should introduce her to the kids in the next couple of weeks…before they stay here overnight. I'm not sure what will happen with Rory's daughter but at this point Emma will only be here on some weekends, so I will talk to the kids about what they want to do. We an either put Noah in his own room and have Lil and Emma share, or we can have Noah and Lily continue sharing their room and convert the guest room into a space for Emma…which are you more comfortable with?"
"I think you should ask Lily and Noah," Abigail told him as she tried to regain control of her emotions. "I think," she took a deep breath, "I need some space from you. I want you to be happy, but…I think our communication needs to be through intermediaries right now unless it is about the kids. Does that…can you do that for me? I think that it is the least you could do."
Logan nodded, "I want us to get along Abs."
"Don't call me that," she shook her head as she began to cry again, tears streaking her perfect skin as they trickled down her cheek. "God I want to hate you…"
"I know."
"I think I've signed everything we needed," she looked down at the papers and tossed them on the table. "Tara Reinhart…she is involved in a few of the organizations I am," Logan nodded, he knew who she was, he knew her husband as well, "she thinks it would be cathartic for me to slap you."
Logan laughed and he noticed that Abigail let out a chuckle too, "if it would help…you can."
"I would feel bad," Abigail smirked, "do you feel bad?"
"I do," Logan nodded, he stood up after Abigail did. "I know it doesn't mean anything anymore…I've said it so many times it has no meaning but I am sorry."
"I wish you weren't. I wish you were one of those men who was a dick about this, a man who dug in and blamed me. Maybe I didn't put out enough? Maybe I got horribly fat and lazy and you justified it…but I suppose the truth is that we were both human…and complacent…obviously I wasn't giving you what you needed. Call the kids, ask what they want to do." He stood in front of her for a moment, she handed him the key that she had to the apartment, "I won't be needing this anymore," and then she stepped towards him and kissed his cheek, "I'll let myself out."
Logan didn't know how to move. He wanted to follow her, to ask her to tell him when she got home so he would know she was safe. He wanted to tell her that he still cared for her…but he knew that none of those things were fair to her…they were self serving for himself. He looked at his phone and saw that Rory had messaged to tell him that she would bring dinner home. He had to assume she had gone to see a friend or maybe to do some shopping if she knew that Abigail was there. He walked to the bedroom and smiled as he saw that she had unpacked. He would have his housekeeper take the suitcases to storage as some changes would need to be made to the closets to allow for the kids to leave belongings there. As he emptied the contents of his pockets and sat on the bed, he sighed. It was exhausting. One half of him was relieved and thrilled to be moving forward with Rory, but then there was the part of him that hated knowing what he had done to Abigail. That wasn't the man he had ever wanted to be…early in his affair with Rory he had questioned how things could have been different. What if she had gone to Yale. The Gilmore family had ties to Yale so it wouldn't have been a stretch. Would they have met? Would they have worked on the paper together? Would they have never crossed paths and everything would've ended up the same…or would that tiny difference in their lives made everything different now. Then there were his children…he loved them more than anything and he knew Rory loved Emma…he didn't want to imagine a world without those children, so he supposed that this was the only way. He just regretted the hurt that he had caused them in the process. Logan opened up FaceTime on his phone and called his son, smiling as his face appeared on the screen, "Hey No, you free?"
"Sure," Noah shrugged, "isn't Mom with you?"
"Mom left a little while ago. I just…is your sister around? Where is Lil?"
"In her room, Mom told us not to go anywhere which is dumb…"
"It isn't dumb," Logan told him. "Mom and I worry about you."
"What did you and Mom have to do today?"
"We had to talk about some custody stuff," Logan explained, "and I was hoping that I could come to you guys on Wednesday and take you out for dinner? There are some things I want to talk about…"
"Like…?"
"Things that I don't think we should discuss on the phone. Do you have plans on Wednesday or are you free?"
"I'm free."
"Alright, I will be there at six. I'll tell Mom."
"Hey dad," Noah sighed.
"Yeah buddy?"
"Are you…are you happy?"
Logan nodded his head, "I am Noah. I'm happy and I'm sorry that I hurt everyone in the process."
"Lily will come around," Noah assured him, "she just…she misses you."
"I miss her too, and you…but in a couple of weeks we'll get the hang of the schedule."
"Are you going to call Lil?"
Logan nodded. "I'll pick you up on Wednesday but if you need anything before that…just call, ok?"
"I will," Noah assured him.
"I love you Noah."
"Bye Dad."
Logan sighed as the call ended and then he pressed a couple more buttons to connect with his daughter. She looked surprisingly excited to see him, "hey Lil, I like the haircut," he knew that she had gone to get her hair cut earlier that day.
Lily smiled, "thanks Daddy," she tucked her hair behind her ear. "Where are you?"
"I'm in Manhattan," Logan told her, "I'm staying at the apartment."
"Don't you get bored, it's so small!"
Logan laughed, it was a 2200 square foot unit, it was definitely not small my most standards, but compared to the mansion that Lily lived in, it did seem small. "There is more than enough room here."
"Are Noah and I going to come see you there? Or will you stay here when we hang out with you?"
"You guys will come to me. So a car will come pick you up next Friday and bring you here after school and I will be there to meet you."
"Do we have to bring our own stuff?"
"Well, you will leave some stuff here and we can buy you some stuff for here, but…your stuff will stay at the house and other stuff can stay here," he heard the front door opening and closing. "But I wanted to talk to you about something. Are you free on Wednesday?"
"I don't know, today is Sunday."
Logan laughed, "I know what day it is. I would like to come and take you and Noah to dinner on Wednesday. Do you think that would be alright?"
"What did Noah say?"
"Noah said yes."
"What about Mom?"
"Mom wants me to visit with you guys, so she is fine with it too."
"I guess."
"You can pick the restaurant," he told her. Lily had always been his little girl, and he knew she was hurting but he also had to hope that she would trust him again soon. She hated the look of disappointment on her face.
"Ok! I am going to go look at places with good dessert!" Logan laughed in response, "bye daddy!"
"Bye Lily, I love you." Logan tossed his phone on the bed, that was another thing he had found strange since he had been with Rory. He didn't have to hide his phone. He could leave it anywhere. He couldn't even be sure when he started hiding his phone from his wife. It was before he started seeing Rory, that much he knew. "Ace, that you?" Logan stood up and followed the smell of Indian food to the kitchen, "smells delicious."
"Hey!" Rory was in the kitchen unpacking the bag, "how was your visitor?"
Logan leaned forward and kissed her gently. "Would've been nice to have a heads up," he raised an eyebrow to her.
"She asked me not to," Rory sighed, "I was here and I had my headphones on so I didn't hear her and she let herself in, which I mean…she has a key, I'm sure she still owns it legally. I just felt like the least I could do is let her…do what she needed to do."
"I get that," Logan nodded, "she gave me back her key."
"Anyway, she was…I wish she would yell at me or scream or something…I might feel less awful…she was lovely and kind…she was Abigail."
"That part is the worst, isn't it?" Logan sat down on a stool as Rory began plating food and he grabbed a pakora from the container and popped it in his mouth. "It would be easier if Abigail was an awful person…maybe I wouldn't feel so bad…but I fell in love with you," he stopped and licked his lips for a moment, "she didn't realize that until today. She thought it was a fling…"
"She deserved better," Rory exhaled. It was a strange feeling…she and Logan both felt it…the guilt over who they had hurt combined with the excitement of being together, "as a woman…as a person…she deserved better from me, and she deserved better from you."
"How long do we beat ourselves up for this?" Logan asked as he took his plate from Rory, "thank you. This looks amazing."
"Do you think…" Rory shook her head, "never mind."
"What?" Logan asked as he mixed his rice with the tandoori, "C'mon."
"What if we…I mean, we could try therapy? I am sure it seems weird because…this is kind of the beginning of things but also not the beginning of things…I just…we can't carry this weight around with us forever."
Logan thought about her suggestion for a moment and then shrugged, "I can do that. I just…honestly I don't know when we would have time." It was the truth. They both had incredibly busy schedules at the best of times and now adding their custody arrangements into it would make it more complicated. "I mean…we could do it online after work or on lunch?"
"It was just an idea," Rory pulled back a bit as she took a bite of her samosa, "I just…I don't know."
"I don't think it's a bad idea," Logan told her, he noticed immediately that she seemed concerned that he would be upset with her suggestion. "Therapy is important, and I think figuring out how to let some of this go would help us both…we just need to make the time. Which…speaking of time, I'm going to have dinner with my kids on Wednesday…I'm going to talk to them about the living situation here and make sure they understand what to expect on their first weekend, and I'm hoping you can meet them next week before the stay."
Rory nodded, this would give her a chance to get to Farmingdale and see Emma, maybe talk with Dean. "Maybe I'll try for the same thing," Rory smiled. "You know…they are lucky to have you. You are a good Dad."
"Doesn't always feel that way right now," Logan admitted, he knew that Rory could relate with everything going on with Emma.
"At least they'll talk to you," Rory countered. "I need to talk to Dean but I don't want to talk to Dean. He just…he can't have a conversation with me for the sake of Em. Everything is about him and his pain and making me the monster…"
"Ok, enough of this," Logan declared simply, he was certain their soon to be ex spouses had taken up enough of their weekend. "I want to talk to you about the kids, and I want to talk to you about work, and I need a wedding date for a few weeks from now and I was hoping you might be willing to attend."
"A wedding date?" Rory cocked her eyebrow and smiled, "as in you and I…on a date…in public…"
"Yes that is exactly what I meant. Nice hotel, we get dressed up, have a few drinks have lots of hot sex when we get back to the hotel after the drinks…"
"Who is getting married?"
"An old friend from Yale, well…an old friend from childhood. Juliet…this is her…third kick at the can I think," he laughed, "but she assures me that it is true love. Colin and Finn will be there…"
"Will it be big?"
"Shockingly, no. I think there are maybe forty of us, she says she did it for money the first two times and this one is for love."
Rory laughed, maybe Juliet was on to something based on her own divorce proceedings. "Let me know what the dress code is so I can make sure I have something."
"I for one would prefer you with nothing on," Logan smirked.
"You're insatiable, did you know that?" Rory smiled at him, "and on that note…there is something I wanted to talk to you about…last night…."
"I thought you were more than satisfied last night?" Logan raised an eyebrow as he put down his fork, "in fact you told me that more than once…"
"Stop it, this is serious," Rory glared playfully, "no…I just…I wanted to tell you…" Rory took a deep breath, "I forgot to take my pill yesterday, with everything going on with Emma and…I just…I don't know what happened but I forgot and then yesterday…you didn't wear a condom and…I should have said something but we were so caught up in the moment and I just…I needed that and I needed you," she added softly. "But I'm sorry it was stupid and…"
"Ace," Logan interrupted her rant, "it is fine. I mean…we should probably have a discussion about this moving forward because things have changed and we've always been…careful," he told her pointedly. "I had a vasectomy years ago," he could've sworn he had told her that but maybe he hadn't, or maybe it hadn't stuck in conversation, "so a baby isn't an issue…so the issue would be infections and…I've only been with you and Abigail…you more than Abigail…and you've…"
"Only been with you and Dean…but we don't know what they were doing. I mean if we were capable of doing something so incredibly stupid…"
"We fell in love Rory," Logan interrupted her. "I know we went about it the wrong way, but don't call it stupid. I can see that you are spiralling here, but try to relax. I know Abigail well enough she wouldn't have been sleeping with someone who wasn't clean…we will go and get tested, I will wear condoms, once we get the results back we can discuss what we want to do moving forward."
"So you're not upset about the pill?"
"Why would I be upset about the pill?" Logan asked her, he raked his hands through his hair and then it clicked. "Because Dean would've been upset…" Rory didn't respond right away but she bit her bottom lip for a moment and Logan was certain she looked scared, he hated it. He hated Dean. He hated that this woman who was brilliant and strong and smart seemed to crumble at the idea of him being upset because Dean was the kind of man to fly off the handle. "Rory, I mean…I guess these are conversations we never had before because of other factors."
"I guess," Rory agreed, feeling a sense of relief over the fact that he wasn't upset. "I doubled up my pill today, it should be fine."
"Well between that and the vasectomy, I think we're safe on the unwanted pregnancy front," the words were out of his mouth before he even realized it, his eyes darted to her in a panic and she seemed unfazed by the comment, "I mean…I just assumed that you didn't want more kids…you guys only had one and…I mean, I know we were done…but a vasectomy is…not permanent."
"I…" Rory took a sip of her drink, "Dean and I never really talked about more kids," she admitted. "I was working and he was…content I guess? So it was just never really a thing. He didn't like to wear condoms," Rory explained, feeling weird about having a conversation about sex with her husband with her boyfriend. "So I have just…always been on the pill."
Logan bristled at the thought of a man who simply refused to take any responsibility for protection, much less knowing that the woman he loved had been treated like that. "Well, I mean…we can talk about it?"
Rory exhaled, she took a moment to think. If she closed her eyes, where did she see herself in ten years. She saw herself on a beach. She saw herself walking through Prague with Logan, she saw herself at the Louvre, she saw their kids at college…she didn't imagine a life that involved starting over with another baby at this point in her life. "I think I'm done," she told him honestly. "Like you said, we can talk about it later…but I want to just…enjoy this. We have done the baby thing…and now they aren't little anymore…and I just want to enjoy where we're at. I want to retire and travel, I want to have grandchildren and not be the old lady at graduation…"
Logan smiled, "and you want all of that with me?"
Rory nodded her head, she leaned over and kissed him, "even if you have bad breath."
Logan laughed as Rory made a face when she pulled away from him. "I think then aside from maybe the two of us getting tested for peace of mind…if you're comfortable we can do away with the contraception?"
Rory smiled, it was a strange feeling, feeling so comfortable with someone. She wasn't sure she ever would've felt comfortable going off the pill with Dean because she couldn't trust him fully, but trust was never an issue with her and Logan.
xxx
Logan stood at the front door of his former home. He had loved that house. He had chosen fixtures and finishes, he had ordered custom furniture and there had been more late nights than he would care to admit looking at everything from baseboards to light fixtures to cabinet pulls…and then one day a few weeks ago it stopped being his home. That was of course by choice. They had asked the kids how they felt about moving and Logan having the house…both of the kids had wanted to stay in the house and Logan willingly withdrew the suggestion and said he would stay in Manhattan for now. He and Rory hadn't discussed long term if they would stay in Manhattan but he imagined that they would, it seemed easier than trying to find a suitable place to live somewhere between the kids.
"Dad!" Lily came to the door and swung it open, lunging into his arms with a force Logan had not expected. He was relieved. Instantly his arms wrapped tightly around her as he held her small frame against him. "I knew you wouldn't be late!"
Logan kissed the top of her head, "I've missed you kiddo. Who said I would be late?" He laughed, it certainly wouldn't have been unusual for him to be late. "Where is Noah?"
"He's on the phone. He said you would be late. Mom tried to get him to get ready earlier. Come on, come in. You'll get cold," Lily tugged on the sleeve of his black Canada goose jacket and Logan hesitated. He wasn't really sure after his last conversation with Abigail that he wanted to simply let himself in. Logan shook his head and stayed on the porch, "Dad, come on!"
"Logan," Abigail appeared at the door, "you can come inside. Noah will be off the phone in a few minutes. If you want to go pry it out of his hands feel free to try. He is every bit your son," Abigail added with a smirk.
Logan was relieved that things seemed to be calm, but he also knew that Abigail would never want to show the kids that anything was off between them. She looked beautiful of course. She always looked beautiful. Her blonde waves were tied in a bun at the base of her neck and she was wearing a black Smash + Tess long sleeved v-neck romper. He knew from experience that she could sleep in it, or dress it up to go for a girls night with a friend. "You look nice," he gave her a smile.
"Charm will get you everywhere," she smiled at him. "You'll have them home by nine?"
Logan nodded, "I promise. If you are going out I can always hang out until you come back, get them upstairs," the days of putting his children to bed were long behind him but he could certainly make sure they were in bed.
"I'll be home," Abigail assured him. "I have some files and stuff of yours…"
"Can I have someone come get them next week?" Logan asked, "I just need to figure out the space thing…"
"Sure," Abigail pursed her lips and nodded, "why don't you go check on Noah?"
Logan nodded and went up the stairs, following the familiar path to Noah's room. Everything looked the same. It was strange, he was sure if he went into is office or into their old bedroom things would look different, but even though everything had changed…nothing had changed in the house. Obviously he knew Abigail wasn't about to destroy anything Logan had ever touched, this was about the kids, he knew that much. He knocked on the door and waited for the muffled sounds to get closer to the door and Noah swung it open, "come on, your sister is waiting."
"I'm on the phone…"
"Noah, it is dinner for a couple of hours…please?"
"You're earlier than I thought."
Logan fought to keep from rolling his eyes, Abigail was right, Noah was every bit his son. "I am on time."
"You were never on time when you lived here," Noah shot back as he put the phone back to his ear.
"Downstairs in two minutes," Logan warned as he walked back down the stairs, he could hear Noah telling whoever was on the phone that he had to go. Logan returned to the foyer where Abigail was explaining to Lily that she wasn't having an overnight visit with him, just dinner and reassuring Lily that she would be fine alone for one night. "Something tells me that Mom might be looking forward to some time to herself."
Abigail gave Lily a kiss, "you will be back before you know it. Do not worry for a second about me. Dad is right, I have lots to do. You go get in the car and Noah will be out in a minute. Have fun, ok sweetheart?" Abigail hugged Lily and then turned to Logan, "text me if you run into any delays?"
Logan nodded, "of course."
Miraculously Noah joined them a moment later and they made their way down the slush covered streets to the steakhouse that Lily had chosen for the evening based on their cheesecake selection. The kids were quiet in the car, to say it was awkward would be an understatement but he figured with a bit of time they would loosen up. Once they were seated and the wait had brought their drinks, a Coke for each of the kids and an Old Fashioned for Logan, they seemed to perk up a bit.
"So what do you do when you're gone?" Noah asked.
"Well," Logan took a sip of his drink, "I work a lot still, that hasn't changed, so I work from home, and I'm in a relationship with someone…so I spend a lot of time with her." He wasn't sure how the kids were going to react to mention of Rory but they seemed to shrug it off. "How do you guys feel about that?"
"Is she nice?" Lily was the first to speak.
"She is nice," Logan nodded, "she has a daughter the same age as you. Do you guys remember Rory Gilmore? I work with her…"
"We went on vacation with her and her family…" Noah gave his father a concerned look.
"We weren't together then," Logan assured his son. He felt like he was telling too much but he also wasn't about to lie when he was asked a direct question. He was however thankful when the appetizers came and there was a temporary distraction. "But I do…I do want to tell you guys something, and I want to ask you something."
"Does Mom know? Or is this like a secret or something?" Noah asked, his teenaged attitude coming out as he spoke.
Logan tried not to smile. He saw so much of himself in his son, right down to the untamed blonde hair and the smirk he knew well, he also knew that Noah was a smart kid, and he knew that Noah was hurting even if he wouldn't admit it. "You never have to keep a secret from her for me. Mom and I are…we're not fine…I would be lying if I told you that, but we get along, and we are on the same page about you and Lily," he looked between his two children, "we will always put you first, you will never be in the middle between us. Mom and I care about each other, and while I am not in love with your mother, I love her dearly and most importantly we both love you two."
"So what do you want to tell us?" Noah crossed his arms across his chest, evidently no longer distracted by the garlic bread in front of him.
"Well, the first thing is about Rory," Logan told them tentatively. He could see that Lily was processing and she seemed to be doing ok. Noah was putting on a bit of a show but he really didn't think he would be too bothered by this. "She has moved in with me in Manhattan in the apartment." Logan paused for a moment, he couldn't read much of a reaction from either of us children, but at the very least it wasn't a negative reaction so he would have to accept that.
"So…like you and Mom…but with Rory?" Noah nodded.
"Well, in the sense that we are in a romantic relationship," Logan exhaled, "yes, but…Rory is not your mother, and she won't try to be your mother. She has a daughter and I will not try to be her father. She will just be…what you want her to be. You don't have to be her best friend, I really hope you will try to get along with her and like her because she is a good person…but…I know it will all take some time."
"Where will we sleep?" Lily asked, she had seemingly been doing the math on the situation, "Noah and I share a room there…"
Noah looked at his father too, "does the other girl get her own room? Don't you own the place?"
Logan understood why Abigail had insisted he do this on his own, she wasn't doing it to be cruel, but she also wanted him to have to face the situation himself as it was his own doing. "That is what I want to talk to you guys about." He waited for a moment until both of the kids were looking at him, he ran his right hand through his hair for a moment, "it is up to you two how you want to do this because this has always been your space. But the options are that you keep on like you have been and share a room while we're all together, and Emma will have the guest room, or, Emma and Lil can share and Noah will get his own room." He could see Lily open her mouth to say something but he continued before she could, "I don't think we will be staying there for long. This isn't a long term solution, it is temporary until Rory and I can find a bigger place where you guys will all have your own space again."
Noah saw that his sister looked upset by the discussion, and while Lily might've driven him nuts a lot of the time, like siblings tend to do, he was still protective of her. It was the two of them against the world when it all came down to it. "Can we talk about it at home? Let you know before we stay…"
"Of course," Logan assured him. "I know this is a lot, and it is quick…but it is going to be good. We're still going to get time just the three of us, and we're going to have dinner together once during the week, just the three of us…and Lil I think you might have fun getting to hang out with Emma."
"She was nice," Lily agreed.
"So you guys talk about it, and let me know…"
"Do we get to come look at new apartments with you?" Lily asked, she had always enjoyed looking at houses. Every year at Christmas Abigail took her on a holiday home tour and Lily lived for it.
"I am sure you will get to see them," Logan agreed, he wasn't about to promise her the first trip but he imagined that he and Rory would bring their children through before they made any final decisions. "How do you guys feel about this? I imagine that it is a lot…"
"I mean…" Noah paused, "if she isn't going to be our mom…"
xxx
Rory had worked from home and left early, all in an attempt to be able to talk to Dean before Emma got home, and frankly as she sat in the living room of the house that she had lived in for most of her adult life, she was counting down the seconds until Emma got home, or until she got to leave. They didn't seem to be able to agree on anything, no matter how cordial Rory tried to keep it.
"Dean…"
"I just want to know…"
"Why? Why do you want to know…why do you want to drag this out? What difference does any of it make!"
"I just want to know what he has that I don't. I mean, sure there's the money, but I don't see it Ror. You aren't one of them. You aren't one of those people."
"Those people?" Rory shook her head. "Dean, we were miserable. You and I didn't make each other happy. We faked it for the sake of Emma and other people, but my god…we scheduled sex…you didn't even bother to ask how long I would be gone on trips anymore…you didn't even bat an eye when I stayed in Manhattan!"
"I trusted you!"
"No, you didn't trust me, you just didn't care anymore. It didn't make a difference in your day to day if I was there or not unless it was for our Tuesday before ten activities. You just…you did what you wanted, and I did what I wanted."
"Well forgive me," Dean threw his hands up in the air, "forgive me if I thought that even if we were distant it wasn't a free pass to start fucking your boss!"
Rory pinched the skin on her left wrist with her right hand, a coping mechanism she had learned years ago for when she needed to remain calm if at all possible. "Dean I'm not doing this with you. We cannot have this fight over and over, it is done. We are done."
"We're not done until we have a settlement and I am not settling."
"What do you want?" Rory asked him calmly, "what is not in the settlement that you need?"
"You."
"Dean, I'm not an option. We are done and you need to come to terms with that…" Rory exhaled, this wasn't going as she had hoped, but she also knew she had to move things along to make sure that she told Emma about living with Logan. "Look, I just wanted to let you know that I'm officially living in Manhattan with Logan now. I had hoped that we could have a civil discussion about this but if you still want to pretend that this divorce isn't happening, then I will give up on that dream. Emma will be staying with us when she is on my weekends, and I will take her for dinner once a week on my own," she added the last part pointedly. This dinner with the three of them would be the only one.
"You can't just move in with him and expect me to be fine with it."
"Dean," Rory sighed. "She is safe. She will be safe with me, she will have a bed of her own and she will get used to it. I know it will be hard for her, but isn't that all that matters? That she is safe?"
"I'm not forcing her to go spend weekends with some guy."
"She isn't spending weekends with some guy, she is spending weekends with me…her mother." Rory was relieved then the sound of the door rattling interrupted them and Emma came into sight and dropped her bag dramatically on the floor.
"I hate science!" Emma declared loudly as she kicked off her boots and pulled off her jacket. "Hi mom," she smiled at her mother, she had known that Rory was coming but seeing her in the flesh still felt different than she had expected. "I thought you were coming for dinner?"
"I am here for dinner," Rory walked towards her daughter and smiled, "but Dad and I needed to talk about a few things so we did that already."
"Oh," Emma made a face. "You guys are fighting again, aren't you?" While Emma may not have been privy to all of the arguments between her parents during their marriage, thanks to her father she had heard her fair share of dirty laundry since their split.
"Nope," Rory popped the p at the end of the word, "he and I just want what is best for you, right Dean?" Rory looked pointedly at him.
"Of course," he waited a moment to respond, standing up and keeping a few paces distance from Rory. "I'm sorry…I haven't handled this well but I promise you don't have to worry about her and I fighting in front of you anymore."
Rory cringed a bit, her, so much for being cordial. "Pizza for dinner? I thought we could order in…"
"How did you get here? I don't see the armoured car outside?" Emma smirked.
"I took the train and I will take the train home," Rory told her. "Pizza?"
"What do you want Dad?"
Dean shrugged his shoulder, he could see her point. Why Rory wanted them to be cautious of what they said around Emma…the truth was that he didn't do it intentionally, he just didn't know where to turn. Dean felt like he had no one to discuss the demise of his marriage to; the person he would normally discuss these things with was Rory, but she was not an option. His friends in the neighbourhood probably wouldn't understand the nitty gritty of it all, and not to mention the shame. He didn't really know how to admit that not only had his wife left him, she had cheated on him. Not only had she cheated on him; she had cheated on him for almost three years when it was all said and done. Not only had she left him for another man; she had fallen in love with that other man. "I think pizza sounds great," he told her. "I'll go order it. Ror….Rory," he corrected himself, "would you like a coffee?"
"Sure," Rory nodded and then turned to her daughter. "Anything I can do to help with school? Science…"
Emma shook her head, "no, I just don't like it."
"Ok…well…I mean, not my favourite subject either, but if you need help we can get you some help, or Dad might be able to help," she suggested, although she knew that was unlikely. Dean wasn't exactly a lover of academia, but she figured he could get through basic science. "I'm looking forward to you coming and staying with me next weekend…"
Emma's eyes spring up to her mother, "next weekend?"
"Yes…" Rory answered tentatively. "Dad and I told you," she took the coffee from Dean as he returned to the room and they all sat down, "once I had a place to stay settled, you would start doing weekends with me."
"And you have a place… so are you…like do you have to take stuff from here?" Emma asked cautiously, thinking back to the discussion a few days earlier about getting settled somewhere.
"Well," Rory put her coffee on the coffee table and looked at Dean. She had to give him credit, although he looked miserable, he was trying, she could see that he was trying as his eyes dodged all over the room, anything he could do to not have to focus on Rory. "I have moved in with Logan, and so on the weekends that you are with me, he will be there, and his two kids will be there…Noah and Lily…" Rory paused, she could see tears welling in Emma's eyes and her heart was breaking as she continued. "We thought it would be good for you to be able to spend some time with them…"
"So…I…I don't even get to be with you. I get to be with you and your new family?" Emma shot back as she began to cry. "Why do you even want me to come if you've found a new family?!"
Dean stepped forward to console Emma and Rory held her breath hoping that for the first time in all of this he might say something useful. "Em," Dean looked from his daughter to Rory, "you have to cut her some slack. Mom…she is trying and you are not making it easy."
"I'm a kid," Emma leaned into him, "I just want things to be the way they were."
Dean sighed and kept his arms around her, "I know kiddo, but…soon there will be a new normal and all of this…it won't feel so scary anymore. I think you should give this a shot…you might have a lot of fun. I'm sure there are cool things to do…you love the city."
Rory felt her chest welling with a bit of relief as he spoke. She knew the road with Dean wasn't going to be easy. She didn't expect it to be easy but she wanted to cling to the idea that they could fight their way out of this. That everyone involved could be happy, maybe if everyone was happy she would stop feeling so guilty that even if this hurt, she still felt happier.