AN: I want to start by thanking all of you for your tremendous kindness and support. I never intended to walk away from these stories and am slowly getting back into the flow of things, but I needed to step away and I thought you all deserved an explanation for my absence. So i will be deleting my A/N chapter. I also want to be clear; if someone has something constructive to say that isn't sunshine and roses about my story, cool, I'm down for that, but simply listing the things that you hate about a story is neither constructive or necessary. This is very much a hobby, it is something I choose to do because I enjoy and when it starts being stressful and not enjoyable, that is when I take a step back. To the reviewer who said they thought it was their comment; while I will admit that the review in question made me question why you were reading it because it didn't really convey that you enjoyed the story - your review was not what sent me into my break but I do appreciate you commenting. It is Thanksgiving weekend, so happy Harvest to everyone.

AN: I do not own Gilmore Girls

Chapter Twenty Two

The drive had been long and full of idle chitchat. Emma had tried to keep the silence from enveloping them as they drove the familiar path back to Long Island. It was, as always, an obnoxious drive but Rory had insisted. She wanted to have quick and easy access to transportation in case they needed it. Emma told her about her most recent swim practice just two days earlier. She told her mother about how she was excited for their time in Martha's Vineyard that summer with Noah and Lily and how much she was looking forward to the move even though she didn't mind sharing a room with Lily, it would be nice for them all to have some more space. Rory for her part talked about work, she talked about a couple of trips she and Logan would be going on for work and how her mother would come to watch Emma and Emma seemed excited about that prospect. The drive went by at a reasonable pace and before she knew it, they were there. Unbuckling her seatbelt and grabbing her keys and purse almost felt mechanical at this point, but then…there she was.

Rory stood in front of her old house. She felt paralyzed. She hadn't been here in months. She hadn't wanted to be here in months. If she could have avoided it for longer, she would have. But…all of the professionals involved agreed that it would be good for Emma to start seeing Dean unsupervised for daytime visits. So that is what this was…it was Saturday afternoon when Logan didn't have his kids, and she had driven Emma to Long Island where Emma would spend a few hours with her father, and then Rory would drive her home. Of course, Rory wasn't yet at a point where she was prepared to simply leave Emma with Dean, so Rory would be going to a coffee shop nearby and working while she waited. Emma had her cellphone, Dean was given strict expectations that Emma be able to contact Rory whenever she needed to, and Dean was to answer his phone if Rory called. There were checks and balances in place, but Rory couldn't help but be worried.

"Mom," Emma interrupted her thoughts and Rory looked at her and smiled, "I don't have to…"

Rory shook her head and smiled at her daughter. Rory took her hand and squeezed it gently, "I'm fine Em. You go knock, or ring the bell…go in…" she wasn't sure what the protocol was for this and so she followed Emma's lead. Letting her run ahead, Rory could see the excitement in her daughter and while there was still fear, there was still apprehension…there was also a bit of joy that for a moment, Emma was just happy. She wasn't caught between two worlds for a moment. In that moment she was just a kid and her mother was taking her to see her father. "Hi," Rory smiled as Dean greeted them both. He stepped out and out of instinct, Rory took a step back and looked up at him. He had gotten a haircut. His once long and floppy hair was shorter now, he was fit, he was always fit. His eyes…they weren't as sunken as they had been the last times she had seen him. He looked healthier.

"Hey," Dean waved to her from his spot on the porch as Emma looked between them, it was like shew as waiting for the other shoe to drop, for one of them to melt down or burst into tears.

"So," Rory inhaled, breaking whatever strange and uncomfortable trance they were in, "I will be back at 4, and if you need my I have my cell. Uh…" Rory looked at Emma and swallowed, "you have your phone? You can call if you need me."

"Give your Mom a hug," Dean suggested to his daughter, he knew what it felt like to leave his daughter with someone else and he knew that Rory was feeling it in that moment.

Emma nodded her head and wrapped her arms around Rory's waist, burying her head against Rory's chest, "I love you Mom."

"I love you too baby girl. Have fun." Rory watched for a moment, waiting for Dean to make the move to bring Emma inside, and after an awkward silence, he did. Emma gave her one last wave before the doors closed and Rory hurriedly went to her car. She managed to make it a few blocks away before the tears started streaming from her eyes. It had hurt when she first left…when she left Emma with Dean when they first split up. When she mentally accepted all of the blame associated with their split, it had nearly killed her to walk away and stay in Stars Hollow…but Rory would give anything to go back to that kind of pain. Because this… the way she was feeling in that moment…it was worse than anything she had ever imagined. Rory put the car in park on the residential street and leaned her forehead against the steering wheel and let the tears stream down her cheeks. She didn't want to call anyone, she didn't want her mother or Logan or anyone else to try to talk her down…she didn't want anyone to tell her that it would be alright or that it would get easier, because she knew that…but right now, it just hurt. It took a few minutes for her breathing to steady and for the tears to stop coming from her eyes. She was glad she had chosen not to wear any makeup because if she had it would've been destroyed and she would've looked like more of a mess than she already did. Rory brought her head back and leaned against the headrest, wiping under her eyes with her index finger, she blinked away the last of the tears and put the car back in gear. Surely whoever lived in the house she had sparked in front of must have thought she was insane.

Rory drove to the coffeeshop that she used to like to work from sometimes. She waited again in her parking spot, giving herself a few more minutes to gather her wits about her. Rory checked her phone and was filled with equal parts relief and panic over the fact that there were no messages. None from Emma, none from Dean, none from Logan or her mother, none from Lane or Paris…her notifications were eerily empty. Rory slowly got out of the car, tucking her purse under her arm and keeping her iPhone in her hand as she swung the door open and walked inside. Once again it was a strange feeling. A place that had once felt so familiar…a place she had spent so much time. A place she and Dean had come for coffee…it felt foreign now. She walked to the counter and placed her order, a large black coffee and a muffin, and then she sat at a table by the window. She placed her coffee in front of her and then her cellphone just in front of it before pulling out her tablet and opening her work e-mail. She had some reports that needed reviewed, and there was no time like the present to go over them.

She had probably been reading them for about forty minutes when the phone rang. Rory smiled as she saw a goofy photo of Logan pop up on the screen, she knew that he would've been avoiding calling for as long as he could but the mixture of curiosity and concern eventually would've gotten to him. "I thought I would've heard from you sooner," Rory admitted with a laugh, for the first time since she dropped Emma off she wasn't full of dread.

"I tried to restrain myself, and you'll never believe what I did this morning?"

"Went for a ridiculous run?" Rory laughed.

"I did that too, but that isn't what I am calling to tell you about," Logan laughed. "I bought a newspaper."

"You bought a newspaper?" Rory repeated. Buying newspapers was certainly within his rights, it didn't really fit in with his job description… in fact it fit in more with hers…no, it didn't fit in with hers. It was hers. "Am I out of a job?"

Logan laughed and Rory saw an e-mail come up on her screen, "your Mom reached out to me," he admitted. "Something about the Stars Hollow paper folding…"

"Logan you did not have to buy the Gazette," Rory groaned as she saw the transaction pop up on her screen. Of course buying the Stars Hollow Gazette was a drop in the bucket…barely. This was chump change to the company, but it would make a difference for her hometown. "What did my Mom say to you?" Rory asked him, making a mental note that she needed to remind her mother of appropriate boundaries.

"She said that it was struggling and for sale," Logan explained calmly, "this is a good thing, and it is inconsequential to me and to Huntzberger."

"I thought there were checks and balances to keep you from just up and deciding to buy a newspaper."

"There are, and I followed them. I just didn't include you in those meetings," Logan laughed. He wasn't quite sure how that piece of information was going to be received and that might've been why he had chosen to have this discussion over the phone and not in person. "How is Em doing?" He changed the subject quickly.

"We aren't done talking about this."

"I'll have a meeting scheduled for Monday," Logan was making his point clear. If they were going to fight about this, they were going to do it at work, not at home.

"Emma is good," Rory told him, she took a sip of her coffee to buy herself another moment, she didn't want to cry about this anymore, and she certainly didn't want to cry about it in a coffee shop where it was entirely possible one of the PTA parents would arrive at any moment, see her crying and report back to the rest of the PTA that she was an unstable mess who cheated on her ex-husband. "She was…well she was hesitant, but I think that was more for my benefit than anyone else. She was really happy to see him," she continued. "I think this will be good…the beginning of something positive."

Logan paused. He took a moment to think about exactly what Rory was saying. He was happy. He knew what it was like to be a father who only had his kids part of the time, but he also knew that he and Dean were not the same. "Well we all want the same thing, right? We want her to be happy, and healthy, and safe. So…I'm glad."

"Babe," Rory looked at the time, "I really appreciate the call, but I have a couple of work calls to make and then I am going to call Lane, and then I have to pick her up. So I'll see you for dinner?"

"I am making your favourite," Logan told her.

"You're ordering Indian?" Rory joked.

"You know me well. I'll talk to you soon Ace. I love you, call me if you need me."

"I love you too," Rory hung up the phone and refocused her attention on the iPad screen in front of her. She scanned through her e-mails and got a few things done, she really just wanted to wait outside the house for Emma to be ready to go. The vibrating of her phone interrupted her thoughts and for a brief moment she hoped that it was Emma even if she knew it was too early for it to be Emma unless something was wrong. "Hey," Rory tried to sound peppy on the phone, she didn't want her mother to worry about her, this entire experience had been hard enough on the entire family.

"Oh good, you're alive, I was worried. I thought you were going to call me?" Lorelai immediately launched into the conversation. "We talked the other day? Remember… sure Mom, I'll call you after I drop Emma off…"

"I was just doing some work," Rory told her. "Sorry, I got distracted."

Rory could practically hear her mother rolling her eyes, "hmmm, work eh? All those…acquisitions and quarterly reports due on the weekend now?" Lorelai was clearly joking but she was also making a point, the point being that she had wanted an update on the situation with Emma.

"She is with Dean," Rory exhaled, her mother couldn't see her shrugging her shoulders dramatically and rolling her eyes, but that didn't stop Rory from doing both things. "She was really excited to see him, even if she didn't want me to see that she was excited. I'm glad though…"

Lorelai waited to see if Rory would continue, but as she had expected her daughter had stopped speaking for a moment and the two women were both left to consider what she had said, "you're glad?" Lorelai repeated, "hun, you don't have to be glad…you can be…well you can be whatever you want. An astronaut…firefighter…doctor…sad…"

Rory swallowed, a lump having appeared in her throat as she listened to her mother, "I think it's a bit late for doctor. Too much school…"

"You can be sad," Lorelai repeated herself. "It can hurt a bit…"

"I'm not sad, I'm fine," Rory lied, "I promise."

"Ohh, ok, ok," Lorelai moved the phone from her ear and her voice became slightly more distant, "no Luke, she's fine…she promises!"

"Mom," Rory protested. "Luke is at the diner…it's rush hour over there…."

"Well you don't know that, he could be home. Maybe he forgot his socks…"

"Mom…"

"Ok fine, but I just want you to tell me how you're feeling. All of the stuff that you probably told Logan on the phone already when you were supposed to be calling me.

"Mom, I told Logan that Emma is happy and that is what matters, and Logan agreed, and we're all happy so long as Dean is making progress with his therapy and everything…"

"I'm worried," Lorelai admitted, this time she exhaled and Rory waited for her to continue. "I'm worried that Dean is going to get this chance to grow and it is at Emma's expense…I don't want her to be hurt."

"Me too."

The conversation came to an end rather abruptly when Rory saw that Emma was calling. She assured her mother that they would call from the car, and Rory made a mental note to make sure she actually made that call because somehow her mother had become more persistent about these things over the last few months. Rory packed up her belongings and walked back to her car before heading back to the house she had once lived in.

It was strange. She couldn't help but think as she pulled into the driveway how there was no emotional pull for her when she saw the place. There had been at first. It still had fond memories of course, she remembered Emma growing up there…but that was all there was for the nostalgia factor. Rory got out of her car and knocked on the door, once again taking a step back as the door swung open and Emma bounced out. The girl was practically glowing with excitement as she hugged her father goodbye.

"Dad wants to talk to you," Emma looked at her mother happily. "I'll wait in the car?" Rory nodded her head in response, "thanks Dad! This was fun!"

Before Rory could say anything else, Emma was bouncing towards the car and Dean was looking at her. His hands were dug into his pockets, his shoulders a bit hunched over and a small smile was playing on his lips. She knew this look. She had known it since the first time he gave it to her as a horny teenager, and she knew it now after nearly two decades and a failed marriage. "You want to talk about something?"

"I uh…I didn't tell her," Dean began, "I just told her I was hoping to talk to you for a minute. I know," he paused, "I know I can't put her in the middle of our stuff, so I just want you to know…I didn't talk to her."

"Then please, enlighten me…what did you not talk to her about?"

"I talked to my Mom," Dean began and Rory immediately had to hide her displeasure. She still wasn't particularly impressed with her former mother in law, but as much as she wanted to blame Dean for that, May had been a thorn in her side for many years, even when things between the couple had been good. "She said you were going to bring Em down to Chicago next weekend?" Rory nodded. She had told Dean that they were going to go to Chicago at some point but Rory hadn't given him all of the details yet.

"We are…leaving Thursday, coming home Sunday night. We're going to stay at a hotel and your Mom can have her for a few hours at a time during the day…Dean I don't want to fight with you about your mother of all things," Rory continued. She assumed that May had complained about 'lack of access' and Rory didn't have that fight left in her.

Dean laughed and Rory was taken by surprise, "no, I'm not…I'm not doing her bidding," he continued. "I wanted to see how you would feel about it if I were to go to Chicago too? So I can se my parents, and Em…maybe act as a bit of a buffer between you and Mom?"

Rory had expected Dean to be picking a battle for his mother, so this was certainly a pleasant surprise. "I mean… does your Mom know?" Rory asked him, "is she going to be ok with it?" After the ridiculous amount of arguing the two women had done over what was fair, she didn't want to have to listen to any more conversation about how many hours and lifespans and broken homes…

"I haven't mentioned it to her yet. I wanted to talk to you first," Dean could see that Rory was surprised. Apparently his therapist had been right in his suggestion that Dean had allowed his mother way too much say in his marriage. "So why don't you think about it and maybe just…text me or something? I guess you want to talk to Logan about it or whatever?" He waited again, he could see a bit of panic rising in her face, he had been married to her for long enough to know her tells, even if he had somehow missed the fact that she was cheating on him, that she had fallen out of love with him. "Think about it Rory. I don't need an answer now…"

"Thank you," she nodded. "I…I'm glad you guys had fun. We all…we all want the same thing, and that is for her to be happy, and to spend time with both of us."

"Did…did she talk to you about school?" Dean asked, Emma had mentioned to him that she wanted to look into a new school for September. He had seen how pained she was when she brought it up, when she told him that maybe it would be better for her to start fresh in Manhattan given how aware the community was of the breakdown of his and Rory's marriage. "She told me she wants to go somewhere else…and I mean, if she's living with you, I think that makes the most sense."

"You do?" Rory looked at him and smiled, "I think that is really amazing…I'm…well, obviously you're making progress with therapy, and I'm happy for you. I'm happy that you are listening to what Em wants…even if it isn't what is easiest for you."

Dean smiled once more, "you should head out. She's going to think we're fighting," he nodded back to the car. "Talk to Logan and let me know."

"Bye Dean."

xxx

Logan was standing in the kitchen rinsing the dishes from dinner. Emma had gone to her room, she had surprised both himself and Rory when she announced that she was calling Lily, but it certainly gave Logan some relief knowing that the girls were getting along still. She had been happy, she had seemed happier than he had seen her in months. There was a certain…calmness to Emma it seemed. Like things in her life were starting to right themselves as a more normal relationship with her father returned. "She seemed happy?" He looked at Rory who was packaging up the leftovers from the order.

"She was really happy," Rory nodded as she clicked the plastic lid back on the black takeout container. "I didn't really know what to expect…but she said he was great, and he seemed good. Excited to see her. He told me that she had mentioned changing schools, which I think is really good because she had asked me to talk to him about it," she explained as she put the containers in the fridge and then went to begin drying dishes next to Logan. She couldn't help but enjoy the moment given how long they had spent longing for domesticity and trading it in for hotel romps and secret getaways. Just being with him was something she did not take for granted.

"How did he take that?" Logan asked. He of course was apprehensive. He didn't trust Dean, and he doubted that would ever change, but he would follow Rory's lead in terms of dealing with him.

"He took it really well," Rory took the wine glass he was watching from him and began drying it. "He said it made sense if Em was living here that she go to school here. He wants her to be happy…"

"Do you trust him?" Logan asked, he stopped what he was doing and stared at her for a moment. "I mean, really trust him…or are you afraid that something is going to happen and we're going to end up back at square one?"

"I've known Dean for a long time," Rory put the wine glass and towel down, turning her body so that she was facing Logan who was looking at him with a twinge of sadness in his hazel eyes. "I know that through thick and thin he loves Emma. He has made some terrible decisions and those decisions aren't ok. It isn't ok to minimize them or to pretend they didn't happen…but I don't believe that he wants to make life harder for our daughter. All he ever wanted was to be her Dad, and … with a few exceptions he has always been a great Dad to her."

"I guess I've seen more of the exceptions than the good parent stuff," Logan admitted.

Rory put her hands on his cheeks and stroked them, "I love how much you love her. Thank you," she smiled as she leaned and kissed him.

Logan moved his hands to her hips and pulled her body towards him, he needed to feel her as he depend their kiss. Their tongues battled for a moment until Rory pulled away and put her forehead against his, giving them both an opportunity to catch their breath. "You can't just kiss me like that to make me stop worrying," he murmured as he watched her suck her lower lip into her mouth, her teeth gnawing on it gently. "Nice try."

"I just appreciate you, that is it," Rory kissed him again, this time a quick, chaste kiss. "But…"

"There is always a but," Logan laughed.

"Chicago next weekend…are you still planning on coming?" Logan nodded and raised an eyebrow. He was still holding her waist and he ran his thumbs against her bare skin. "Dean wants to go to Chicago too. He wants to stay with his parents and get some time in with Em…"

"And he asked my permission?" Logan asked pointedly. Rory exhaled, her shoulders visibly falling with his comment, "sorry…I just…what are you asking me Ace? Are you asking if I'm coming so you can hang out with Dean?" He couldn't believe those words had just come out of his mouth, but he also wasn't sure why she was asking him. "Do you want me to come still or will that make it harder for you?"

"I want you to come," Rory told him simply but firmly, "I just want to know how you feel about Dean being in the area and spending more time with her?"

"The doctors say he is doing well," Logan considered all of the information that he had, his tone was clear that he was hoping she would weigh in if she had a different opinion, "Emma had a good time with him today, he was good with you today…his supervised visits have been…good…" Logan waited again to see if she would chime in with anything else before continuing, "then he comes. It's where his parents live. Hardly the strangest thing I've ever heard of. He spends some time with Em, we get alone time…it doesn't really make a difference to me unless you're hoping he and I will grab a beer or something."

If Rory had been taking a sip of her drink she would've spat it out at that comment, "notes in this l lifetime," she laughed. "Thank you though for…I don't know, just always thinking about her. Putting her first…"

"That is what you do with Abigail and I and the kids…you're always aware of her and considering her and my Lily and Noah…I do the same thing."

Rory kissed him once more, "I guess it's cuter when you do it."