"Hear ye, hear ye," Draco called out, banging his gavel on the coffee table.

"Will you knock that off?" Sirius asked, glaring as he grabbed a coaster. "You'll destroy the furniture."

"Padfoot," Remus patted his friend's arm, "why do you care about the furniture? We're in Sev's office."

"It's mahogany."

"And?"

"Yes, Sirius, why do you care?" Hermione asked.

The animagus crossed his arms. "It's quality wood."

Severus quirked a brow. "You do know I prep potions ingredients on it, don't you?"

"You wouldn't."

"I do, often…"

"If you ladies are done…" Tonks said, quirking a brow.

"I never really started, dear." Severus lazily waved a hand around. "Your cousin is the one who insisted on bringing the gavel and your other cousin apparently has an obsession with dark woods."

"Can we just get on with this?" Neville asked, raising his hand.

"What's Longbottom doing here?" Severus asked, his brow quirked.

"He looked bored," Luna said, smiling.

"And what's Lovegood doing here?"

"She's my girlfriend," Harry said, looking up from his notes.

"By that logic, Annie should be here," Regulus said, rocking Siria in his arms.

"What's Regulus doing here?" Draco asked, brow furrowed.

"What?" Tonks smirked. "He isn't part of the 'time-traveling trio sidekick team'?"

"He is…" Hermione nibbled her bottom lip, "but that doesn't explain why Professor McGonagall is present."

"She is?" Harry said, gaping. He glared back at his notes. "Great, now I have to start all over. The attendance list is all screwed up."

"Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall's eyes narrowed, "I was one of the first to arrive."

Hermione shook her head. "It took him almost a year for him to realize I was disappearing and reappearing in odd places. He's not the most observant."

"Gets it from his father."

"Now, if we're done insulting two generations of Potters," Remus rolled his eyes, "can we get back to the matter at hand? Why the heck did you invite Minnie here?"

"Oh," Severus's eyes widened comically, "I'm sorry. Is this not the pre-breaking into Azkaban planning meeting?"

"Yes, but…"

"I think that assumes that this is the meeting planning the meeting to plan the Azkaban break-in," Neville said, raising his hand again.

"Shut up, Longbottom. Shouldn't you be hiding in a small enclosed space right now?"

"Why?"

"LeStrange overheard that comment at dinner."

"She was meant to."

Severus quirked a brow. "You're a dead man. You do realize that, right?"

"Why do you think I'm here?"

"I thought you were bored."

Luna smiled. "We share a lot of hiding spots."

Minerva turned to the potions master. "Is it always this off-topic?"

"We're actually very controlled right now," he replied before clearing his throat. "I brought Minerva in because I need someone with logic and sound reasoning who can translate into Gryffindor what I'm trying to say."

"Hey," Sirius crossed his arms, "I have logic and…." His brow furrowed. "Never mind."

"Now, wait a minute," Remus said, waving a hand. "I'm just as good as Minnie at translating into idiot."

"Gryffindors are not idiots, Moony. You know that."

"But speaking Gryffindor is the same as speaking idiot."

"And what about me?" Draco asked, pointing to himself. "I was a Slytherin and now am in Gryffindor."

"Do we need to review the past six years?"

"I would love to get Professor McGonagall's perspective on this, personally," Hermione said.

"Miss Granger, I already told you, I don't give out extra credit to those with Os in my class. No need to use flattery," the Scot said, her voice hardening.

"That's what you said last time around."

"And it's taken you fourteen years to get it through your mind?"

"Enough," Severus said, clapping his hands to get their attention. "We need to plan this out if we're going to complete the mission tomorrow."

"We're doing this tomorrow?" Harry asked, hand raised.

"Well, we should get a move on. This is the last weekend free before Quidditch, Hogsmeade, and snow."

"Snow is a determining factor?"

"Have you ever been to Azkaban, Harry?" Sirius asked, shivering involuntarily. "It's cold enough without the snow."

"Okay," Hermione pulled out Sirius's map, "I've been studying the map and have scheduled out their daily routes."

Minerva's eyes widened. "What is this?"

"Oh, it's just a map of Azkaban Sirius made."

"It's amazing."

"You should see the one he has of Hogwarts," Severus said, smirking. The old Gryffindor's mouth dropped.

Remus glared. "Hey, don't give him all the credit for that. I did most of the work."

"You did most of the spell work," Sirius pointed to himself, "but James and I did most of the groundwork."

"You and James?" Minerva's eyes narrowed. "When exactly did you make this map?"

"Sometime between fourth and fifth year?"

"Sirius Orion Black…"

"Can we get back to this later?" Regulus asked. "I would like to know what's going on, but Siria needs to go to bed soon."

"We will get back to this later," Minerva promised, glaring. Sirius and Remus cowered.

Severus smirked before turning to Harry. "And, Mr. Potter, I do believe I'll need that invisibility cloak immediately after the meeting…to see if it still works…Ow!"

Tonks readied her hand to slap him again. "I thought we agreed: no more spying unless absolutely necessary."

"But dear, I want to finally see them get what's been twenty years in the making…"

"I never had a chance, did I?" McGonagall asked, turning to Regulus.

"To be fair, Mother did warn you," he said, smirking.

"Alright, everyone," Hermione said, clearing her throat. "We really should get back to planning."

"'Mione gave me the routines for the guards," Draco said, holding up a roll of parchment. "Seeing as she somehow landed herself tea with my mother tomorrow, she's on Siria-Cissa duty."

Harry turned to his friends. "How did Hermione end up invited to tea with your mother?"

"It's a long story and it includes a forced apology, a promise to explain muggle technology, and a long since realized shared love of Draco," the blond Black said.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yes, Dragon, because everything is about you."

"And Minerva will be in charge of ensuring Bellatrix does not suddenly want to have tea with her favorite sister," Tonks said, smirking.

"Couldn't that be Neville's job?" Sirius asked.

"No," Neville said, glaring. "I'm a Gryffindor, but I have some self-preservation. I'm not just walking into the furnace."

"Besides, if any of this goes south, he has to be in charge of taking over the room of requirement," Hermione said, reading over Harry's shoulder. "You spelled self-preservation wrong."

Harry glared at the girl. "Would you like to take over?"

"No one ever said this was necessary," Professor McGonagall said, lips pinched together.

"It makes Harry feel important," Remus said, smirking.

"And it has helped several arguments to have written documentation of everything spoken," Luna said, holding up several rolls of parchment.

"Does he record every conversation?" Tonks asked.

"As of lately?" Severus rubbed his forehead. "Yes."

"Even last weeks'?"

"Yes."

"Uhm, Harry?" Dora turned to the boy-who-lived. "Could I possibly see that one parchment from Tuesday night?"

"Which one?" Green eyes sparkled as they looked up.

"The one between Sevvie and me?"

"Oh no. Uncle Sev paid me for that one." Harry shrugged. "To be fair, he did tell you that anything you said could and would be held against you in the court of Moony."

Professor McGonagall raised her hand. "Uhm, court of Moony?"

"Yeah," Sirius said with a shrug. "It's where Moony presides as judge. How do you think we ever settled arguments?"

They all turned to look at the werewolf. He raised a finger. "Court's in session every Sunday night." Silence filled the room. He shrugged. "What? Gotta make extra money somehow."

"Alright, plan." Severus said, rolling his eyes. "Sirius, what is the best exit strategy?"

"Shouldn't we be more focused on the entrance?" Regulus asked, pushing a curl out of Siria's eyes.

"I was thinking the front door."

"Okay, then why can't we use that as our exit?"

"You seriously think Lupin and your idiot brother will be able to make it in and out of a highly guarded prison without alerting anyone?" Severus asked, his brow quirked.

Regulus turned to his brother. "Okay, Siri, what's the exit strategy?"

Sirius smiled. "Spots, can you still do that thing where you fly?"

FPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFPFP

Kingsley yawned, covering his mouth. Of course, he had to end up taking the Saturday Azkaban shift. When were these guys going to realize the dementors wouldn't be coming back and hire some more guards? Aurors have better things to do than babysit a bunch of inmates. He rolled his eyes, whipping out his Daily Prophet and putting up his feet. Only seven hours twenty-two minutes of mind-numbing boredom to go.

"Wotcher!" A voice called out. Kingsley jolted up, his chair rolling back. His wand poised at the ready.

"Who's there?" the dark man asked. His eyes scanned the dark hallway. When were they going to spring for real lights?

"Shacklebolt?" the voice said shakily.

His brow furrowed. "Tonks?" He relaxed as the young woman stepped out of the shadows. "What are you doing here? Isn't it your day off?"

"Is it?" the young girl asked, head tilted. "You know how I forget about those things."

"Who's that you got there? I didn't hear about any transfers today."

Dora turned to the haggard man cuffed beside her. "You didn't?"

"I'm a recent arrest," the man answered.

"Sir," Kingsley turned to the man, "we don't take new arrests straight to Azkaban. Not after the whole Sirius Black was innocent deal."

"Sixteen years too late," a hoarse voice grumbled.

Shacklebolt quirked a brow. "Is there more than one person with you?"

"Could we hurry this along?" Dora asked, shifting from foot to foot.

"Why are we in such a hurry?"

"Need to get him processed."

"Why?"

"Because Polyjuice only lasts for an hour and he took it on the boat fifty-five minutes ago," Luna said, stepping out of nowhere. A hand appeared, making a grab for her.

"And how did you acquire such a dangerous and highly-controlled substance, young lady?" Kingsley asked, not even going to touch on the disembodied appendage at the moment. One thing at a time.

"Hermione makes Polyjuice for fun!"

"Luna!" a voice called out. The sound of flesh hitting flesh echoed through the hall.

The haggard old man turned to Dora. "You had one job, dear: get us into Azkaban without being noticed."

"Well, why did you bring Luna?" Tonks asked.

"Where do you think we got the hair from?" the man asked. Right then, his body shook.

"Uhm, Dora," Kingsley quirked a brow at the potions professor standing before him, "you handcuffed your fiancé?"

"I do that a lot more often than you would imagine." Dora reddened. "I didn't have to tell you that. I babble when I'm nervous."

"Great. Now that we've confirmed that Professor Snape and Tonks do strange things in the bedroom—with or without a dragon onesie, still no judging—can we please get back to the mission at hand?" Neville asked, throwing the invisibility cloak off himself.

"Neville, what are you doing here?" Severus asked, brow quirked. "You were supposed to stay at Hogwarts on ROR duty."

"I might have said some interesting things about LeStrange at breakfast. Don't worry. I gave Professor McGonagall the FAQs parchment. She can open it if it comes down to it."

"Where's the rest of the gang?"

"Carrying out the rest of our plan."

"Okay," Shaklebolt held out his hands, "hold on a moment. There's more of you?"

"Come on, Kingsley," Sirius said, coming up behind him and slapping him on the shoulder. "Don't make us take back that 'best roommate ever' award."

"How do you know I haven't thrown it away?"

"We might have broken into your office last year."

"Why?"

"I bet Spots I could."

Kingsley wrinkled his nose. "You gave someone else a ridiculous name?"

Severus raised his hand. "Me."

"They were drunk, Kings," Remus said, popping up behind his friends. "I made sure they didn't break anything."

"How the hell do all of you keep popping up?"

Harry walked up behind his godfather. "I have an invisibility cloak."

"And Spots insisted on obtaining one after Bellatrix decided to go on a rampage," Regulus said, leaning against the door jam.

"How many of you are there?" Shacklebolt asked, eyes wide and mouth agape. "Tonks, I need an explanation. Now."

"We just need to see Fudge," she answered, quirking her brow.

"Can't do that and you know it."

"Then can you get his locket?"

"His locket?" Kingsley's eyes narrowed. "He doesn't have a locket."

"Are you sure?" Harry asked.

Sirius's mouth dropped. He turned to Dora. "Tonks, I think we're the worst two aurors I've ever met."

"We've already established that," Dora said, brow furrowed. "But why?"

"Prisoners aren't allowed to have personal effects."

"Oh, yeah…" Dora shook her head. "I'm an idiot."

"Yes," Severus said. "And we will be having a long conversation about that later."

"Can we look through the catalogued effects, please?"

"You could've done that at any point," Kingsley said. "You have total access."

The whole group glared at Dora.

"Well?" Draco asked.

"Where'd you come from?" Sirius asked.

"Sorry it took so long. I was visiting Father."

"That must have been interesting."

Shacklebolt sighed, shaking his head. "You can search to your heart's content, but there's no locket." He motioned for them to follow him. "I filed the paperwork."

"He was wearing one in the picture of his arrest," Sirius said as they entered a room.

"Yes, but that was before he was processed," Dora said, walking over to the F cabinet and opening the drawer. Neville walked over to the other side of the room and opened the door. A stack of plastic boxes nearly fell on him.

"What's so important about this locket, anyway?" Kingsley asked, tapping his bicep.

"It's the key to defeating Voldemort," Luna said, smiling.

"More like a key to defeating Voldemort," Regulus said, eyes scanning the room.

Shacklebolt surveyed the younger man. "Please tell me Snape didn't decide to test his cloning theory."

"Why does everyone think I'd want to clone Sirius?" Severus asked, sighing.

"Well, seeing as there are two Siriuses, it's just the first thing that comes to mind."

"That's it, Siri," Regulus said, turning to his brother, "once this is said and done, I'm coloring my hair."

"Why?" his older brother asked.

"I'm tired of being mistaken for your clone."

"I'd take it as a complement if I were you."

"Hey, I found it," Dora called, stopping the brotherly feud. She was not about to referee another Black Brawl.

"What's it say?" Draco asked, running over to his cousin.

"Shacklebolt's right. It doesn't mention any locket."

"So, how did Fudge lose the locket between being arrested and coming to Azkaban?" Harry asked. "No one's that inept."

"Like I told you all earlier," Kingsley said, rubbing his eyes, "this isn't a holding cell. No one comes here freshly arrested."

"However, they stay in the same clothes they were wearing when the aurors cuffed them?" Neville asked, holding up the container full of Fudge's things. "This is the same outfit he's pictured in."

"They stay a few days in a holding cell at the ministry," Shacklebolt explained. "A guard from Azkaban watches over them until the aurors have enough evidence to formally sentence them to Azkaban to await trial."

"Boy that would have been nice," Sirius said, leaning against a cabinet.

"Shut up, Siri."

"You were one of my arresting officers."

"We were all grieving."

"You threatened to shoot me with a muggle gun."

"We grieve in different ways."

"Sirius doesn't have much room to judge here," Remus said, shaking his head. "He went after Pettigrew and then laughed like a maniac instead of defending himself."

"Oh," Sirius crossed his arms, "and you grieved like a normal person?"

"Actually, yes."

"I am amazed both of you are fathers," Severus said, shaking his head.

"Wait, what?" Shacklebolt asked, holding up a hand. "I mean, I know about little Siria—hell, I held the girl the day she came home from hospital—but Moony knocked up a girl?"

"I really do not need to hear about my professors' private lives right now," Neville said, opening the Fudge box and sifting through it. "Sorry everyone. No locket here."

"Then where the hell is it?" Severus asked, running over and checking himself.

"Well," Tonks said, head tilting, "who processed him? They might have some idea what happened between the moment the photo was taken and he came here."

Regulus narrowed his eyes. "Are you suggesting we interview an auror?"

"It's not completely unheard of.'

"Yeah," Sirius said, nodding. "I was interviewed a lot during my time as an auror."

"For what?" Draco asked, leaning against a filing cabinet.

"My heroic efforts, of course."

"Weren't most of those interviews with HR?" Remus asked.

"Moony, you wound me."

Kingsley nodded. "He had to take three separate sexual harassment courses."

"Women just don't get the way I show affection," Sirius said, crossing his arms.

"Siri, this is the auror department, not a rugby team. Women do not like having their butts smacked for a job well done."

"Now you just sound like the HR lady."

"Now I'm not so amazed Padfoot's a father," Severus said. "Now I'm amazed it took this long."

"Well, I think we can count this mission as a failure," Harry said, coming over to Neville and quickly scanning the ex-Minister's effects. "The locket's clearly not here and we need to get back to school."

Sirius nodded. "Okay, Spots, time for you to do your thing."

"Sirius," Severus shook his head, "I am not flying us all out of here. There's no need to make a drastic escape."

"To be fair," Regulus started, crossing his arms, "it's not Siri's or Remus's fault we were found out. I count that as a win."

"Hey!" Remus yelled, following the younger Black. "I wasn't frozen in an inferi infested lake because I tripped the trap Riddle kept over his horcrux."

Severus turned to Sirius and Dora. "What am I marrying into?"

"Marrying?" Sirius furrowed his brow. "You were adopted ages ago."