In chapter 19, Mercy's dreams and hopes of Alyssa getting a boyfriend for her to take begins to fade. Alyssa is revealed to be a drug abuser and a neglectful parental figure. Alyona fell down the stairs and gets seriously injured. Mercy begins to grow sick of Alyssa and seeks to remove them both from the household.

This was the very first time I ever felt remorse for my actions. I sat in the cold waiting room of the hospital. Alyssa was with Alyona, talking to the doctor about her condition. I was all by myself with my thoughts.

I am a terrible Mother! What Mother puts her child in harm's way? I should have listened to my beloved child about Alyssa! But due to my stubbornness, Alyona is in the hospital.

My hatred for Alyssa grew every second. I dismissed my idea of her getting boyfriend and all I am thinking about now is leaving her household.

I daydreamed to keep myself from unraveling. I felt like I was losing my mind, every nerve inside is screaming out with anxiety.

I wanted Alyssa's blood on my hands. She will regret the day she ever adopted me! I recollected she slapped me. How dare she lay a finger on me?! Alyssa's life was numbered in my mind. I desired to be her maker. I began to imagine myself in the house, alone with Alyssa. Alyona is far away, oblivious to the evil deed I am going to commit. I imagined myself walking into the kitchen, a butcher knife is in my possession now. I traced my finger slightly onto the blade tip. It caused my finger to bleed. I smiled devilishly.

I saw myself approaching Alyssa, the idiotic and naive creature, sees my knife and my prideful expression. I raised the deadly knife into the air and I penetrated the bitch's chest with it. Her blood curdling scream is music to my ears. Her body fell into a pathetic heap, her eyes are glued to the ceiling, frozen in terror. Her warm blood is splattered all over me, screaming for misery. I stood over her lifeless body, brewing with pride. I desired to make that daydream reality.

It was a full hour later when Alyssa came into the waiting room. I got out of my chair and approached her. "Where is Alyona?" I asked.

Alyssa gave me a disgusted look. She was irritated by my mere presence. "She is getting surgery. Doctor said she will have to stay overnight."

I felt my heart shatter. I wanted to kick myself for my stupidity.

Alyssa glared at me. "What did you do?" She demanded accusingly.

I scowled at this bitch full of hatred. "You left us home alone." I made sure to say this loud enough so others could hear.

Curious eyes looked at us and Alyssa became red in the face. She swiftly grabbed my wrist and dragged me out of the waiting room. "Stop embarrassing me!" She whined. I struggled against her, but she managed to drag all the way into the parking lot.

Once we made it to the car, I managed to slip from her grip. Alyssa gave me a icy glare. "Listen, young lady. I am sick of you! You should have been watching your little sister awhile I was gone!" Alyssa hissed. "I had important things to do!"

I refused to be downplayed like this. "No! You left two minors at home and one of them got hurt!" I pointed a bitter finger at her. "It is your fault! You neglected us and you are a horrible parent that should have never adopted!" I snarled. I kept going, my voice becoming cruel and cold. "You know what, you are also a drug abuser. I guess you don't like hospitals, huh?" I sneered. My lips curled up with malice. I wanted to destroy this woman psychologically. "Is it fun when you stick that needle into yourself? I bet being in this parking lot is making you feel uneasy, huh? Afraid the doctors will detect the drugs in your system?"I teased.

SLAP! I am cracked across the face. Alyssa doesn't stop with just one. I am slapped repeatedly. Alyssa glared at me furiously as she slapped me. "You little bitch! How dare you say that to me?" She ...two...three...four...five...six...I managed to jerk myself away to evade the seventh slap.

"When we get home, you will be punished!" Alyssa growled. With that, she spilled into the driver seat and I hesitantly got into the backseat. Alyssa didn't even wait for me to put my seatbelt on and instantly began to drive the moment I closed the backseat door. I dug my nails into the cushion of the seat as the woman began to drive fast through the streets.

Shockingly we were never pulled over and we made it to the house in one piece. Alyssa exited the car the moment she parked, fuming with rage.

"OUT!" Alyssa barked. I rolled my eyes and took my sweet time. Alyssa was not in the mood and jerked my door open. She grabbed my arm and literally yanked me out of the car. Her grip is tightly painful, my nerves began to burn with sharp pain. "OW! STOP!" I pleaded.

"Shut up!" Alyssa hissed. She dragged me inside and shoved me inside. She slammed the door behind her and locked it.

I gritted my teeth, preparing myself for the worst beating of my life. And trust me, this was one of the worst beating of my life. Alyssa swiftly removed her belt. I began to revert into a small child and attempted to run, but Alyssa was nimble. I felt the sharp whip of the belt impact my rear end. I froze there on the spot, Alyssa grabbed my shoulder to keep me in place. She whipped me with great strength. I released a shriek from each agonizing blow. Extreme pain erupted inside me. I fell on my knees and Alyssa did not stop. She began to viciously whip my back. At this point, Alyssa was blinded with rage. Like a rabid predator attacking its prey.

It felt like hours passed when Alyssa finally stopped. At this point, I am bawling my eyes out like a small child. My rear end is burning with intense pain. Alyssa stormed pass me. "GO UPSTAIRS!" She hollered.

I jumped up, my butt twinged. I decided that I should do what she says, I personally did not want another beating.

As I hobbled to the stairs, my homicidal thoughts flooded my mind. "This bitch is going to die." I murmured under my breath. I hurried upstairs and into my bedroom. I contemplated how I end her pathetic life.

I could do it right now. But then I thought of Hope. I feared that Alyona would be taken away from me like Hope. I wanted Alyona to be at home with me. So I decided to bid my time.

Alyona returned home the very next day. She had to get twelve stitches in her ankle and wore a bright red cast. Alyssa left me home alone to pick up Alyona. Alyssa put the injured child in her bed. I stood in Alyona's bedroom. Alyona was drugged with painkillers and was deep in slumber. I watched over her, I was like Mama bear watching over her cub. I heard the front door slam and I knew that Alyssa was going on another outing. I decided that this would be a great time to commit my action. When she returns, I will slay this creature like the worthless piece of shit she is.

I waited for Alyssa's return. Alyssa came back in the early morning. It was a humid Sunday morning, I was already up, I has made Alyona a pancake and was awaiting her to consume her meal so I could give her painkillers. I walked into the kitchen as Alyssa returned home. Ironically she brought a man home. A slim, paunchy man with ebony hair and dark eyes, he was drunk off of his ass and was slumped on the couch. I believed that Alyssa was romantically involved with this man, evidently from all of the red kiss marks on his face. I smiled at my luck. A perfect person to frame for murder. I walked over to the drunk man to see that he was out like a light.

I opened the kitchen drawer and saw the sharpest and deadliest knife I could find.

I looked out the kitchen window and frowned. I couldn't kill her in the forest because the neighborhood had very little woods. So I had to do it inside the house. I didn't want to risk having fingerprints on the knife, so I went down to the laundry room to grab rubber gloves. "This bitch is going to die!" I mumbled under my breath. I hurried back into the kitchen, Alyssa was now in the living room, sitting closely to the drunk man. I saw Alyssa injecting herself with heroin, not even attempting to conceal it anymore.

I decided that the laundry room would be a great place. Swiftly, I walked over to them and saw Alyssa's bag of heroin. I hurriedly grabbed it with my knife concealed behind my back.

Alyssa sprung up into the air and I darted to the laundry room. "MERCY!" I ignored her yelling and dove into the laundry room. I hid behind the door and awaited Alyssa to come.

Eventually the bitch did. She took one fateful step into the laundry room. She was outside the door now, looking for me, her back was to me. Everything about this reminded of me of Rachel. I slammed the door behind me. Alyssa swirled around to see me smiling wickedly at her.

"Mercy…" She said one last time. I sprung into action, revealing my deadly knife. I charged at her, the woman was too stunned to realize what was happening. Alyssa released out a short lived scream. I plunged the knife directly into her chest. I yanked it out and I shoved her to the floor with all of my strength. I stabbed her so fast that she didn't have much to react. I didn't want to risk any more noises, so I ran and retrieved a sock. I jammed it into the weak woman's mouth. "Well, Mommy, do you like my knife?" I said sweetly. With that, the knife met her flesh and I plunged it deeply into her chest. Alyssa released out a long winded muffled scream. I yanked it out and Alyssa screamed again.

The knife met her flesh again and made a satisfying squish as the tip of the blade sank deeply into her body, she released out a agonizing, muffled scream. No one could help us. I looked into her eyes. Terror and helplessness were permanently framed into her wide brown eyes. I twisted the blade in my hands, all the while sinking it deeper and deeper. Her skin was tearing to shreds as the knife rotated, the sound of her muscles and nerves being gouged growing louder. Alyssa erratically squirmed and twisted. She was miserable, heavy tears ran down her cheeks. I jerked it all the way into her back, until the shiny metal had disappeared inside her and the black handle was pushing against her broken skin. Instantly, the sock drowned in her blood that filled her mouth. I smirked, and pulled the blade out of my now deathly white victim. She laid pathetically on her back, convulsing and trembling like a rabid animal and thick. Crimson blood drenched her clothes. The sweet tang of blood tingling in my nostrils.

I relished her terror. I remembered all of my victim's face. Their last moments were all riddled with terror and brutality. Alyssa was now my current victim. I felt powerful, I ceased my stabbing and gazed at her lifeless, bloody body. The once beautiful woman died, her frozen eyes glued to me. I watched life seep from her eyes and smiled.

Now I had to focus on my new course of action. I opened the door of the laundry room and poked my head out. I scanned the hallway and made sure no one was around. Alyona was still healing from her surgery, the man was drunk and unconsciousness. I hurried over to the man and smiled to see that he was still unconscious. Stupid idiot will have a hell of a night when he wakes up.

I found the man attractive, but he was simply a ploy to me. I placed the bloody knife into the palm of his hand gently and slowly. The man must have drunk a lot last night, because he didn't wake up once. For extra measure, I rubbed my bloody dress onto his clothes and skin, painting him with blood. I then went off to clean myself up. I went into the laundry room, I glanced down at my victim's body and felt pride. I stripped out of my drenched clothes and stuffed them into the washer. I hurried into the living room to find the fireplace. It was old and Alyssa never used it. I turned on the fireplace and felt the comforting heat as the wood inside grew ablazed. I tossed the gloves into the fire. I am naked as a bird, all of my deformity is exposed. I felt so uncomfortable being naked. I ran upstairs and into the nearest bathroom. I took a shower that was lasted two minutes. Enough time for me to wash out my bloody hair and skin. I slipped into a innocent white dress with extra youthful makeup. I sprinted to the laundry room to get my dress out of the washer, the blood was gone and I put my dress into the dryer. I washed my bloody shoes with cleaning wipes and I flushed the wipes down the toilet.

I felt confidence brewing within me. The house was dead silent. I headed into my daughter's bedroom. She was still asleep, I didn't further enter her room as I wished her to sleep peacefully. I decided that I needed to play my part. I felt like I was in theater at this point, I ran downstairs and opened the front door. I took a deep breath and pretended to be hysterical and terrified. "HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! MY MOMMY IS DEAD! MY MOMMY IS DEAD! HELP!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I ran down the streets, my screams pierced the air. Before I came out, everyone was outside, meandering around. Small children frolicked innocently through the streets and their yards. Everything was peaceful until I shattered it. The children stopped and gawked at me. The neighbors appeared worried and alarmed. One fearful Mother grabbed her two sons and dragged them inside.

"CALL 911!" I shrieked. "PLEASE! PLEASE! MY MOMMY IS DEAD!"

I saw Ms. Mason in my line of sight. "MERCY!" She yelled from her front porch. I stopped in my tracks. I made a beeline to her, I made sure I was sobbing heavily. "MY MOMMY IS DEAD!" Ms. Mason's eyes widened with horror. She put a emotional hand over her mouth. "Come inside, Mercy." She said empathically. I spilled inside her house. I made sure I was hysterical and distraught as ever, I dropped to my knees, with broken tears pouring down my face. "My Mommy is dead!" I wept mournfully. Ms. Mason, a very compassionate woman that I did truly like, embraced me warmly. "Calm down, sweetheart." She rocked me back and forth like a baby. She released me and pulled out her cell phone. She instantly dialed 911. "Mercy, sit right there on the couch." She ordered. I nodded and obeyed. I threw myself onto the couch and sat there weeping.

Ms. Mason paced around, talking to the operator. "Yes…..99 Kaine Street...yes...I have her daughter who I believe is adopted….yes….her name is Alyssa Green…." Ms. Mason turned her head to me. "What happened?"

I sniffled as tears rolled down my cheek. "I….I...don't know." My voice was high pitched and distraught. "I…..I…...went looking for Mommy and I found her in the laundry room!" My voice became shrill. "SHE WAS BLOODY! SHE WAS STABBED! SHE BROUGHT THIS MAN HOME AND I….I...THINK HE KILLED HER!" I bawled.

Ms. Mason gave me a compassionate look. She recapped everything I said. "Yes...yes...she had a man over…" Ms. Mason turned to me. "Is he still there?"

I nodded silently.

"Yes. He is still there…..yes….yes…." Ms. Mason questioned me again. "Where is your sister?" She was asking about Alyona.

I cried harder. "She was really hurt from a fall and she can't move! She is still there with him!" I screamed hysterically. "PLEASE SEND THE POLICE! SEND EVERYONE! HE KILLED MY MOMMY!"

Ms. Mason began to tremble out of fright. All of this must be overwhelming for her. I jumped off of the couch and attempted to run to the door. Ms. Mason grabbed my shoulder with her free hand. "NO!" She barked authoritatively. "Stay here!"

I was simply playing up the acting here. I was so proud of myself in this moment. I pretended to fight against Ms. Mason, only to give up after a struggle. I threw myself at the couch again and cried my heart out.

The police arrived within a hour. By then, Ms. Mason did her best to console poor hysterical Mercy. The woman gave me cookies and milk, she even brushed my hair to comfort me. She hugged me and gave me kind words. I enjoyed this moment. The warmth, the kindness, and empathy. I spoke to this woman a few times, but I knew nothing about her and she knew very little about me. But here she is, comforting and consoling me as if she knew me for years. This is a woman that a child deserves to have as a Mother. I exited the house when I heard the police sirens. Ms. Mason chased after me, but I am already outside. All of the neighbors are locked away in their houses. The neighborhood was empty and silent. This once peaceful neighborhood was impacted by all of my actions. Police cars swarmed Alyssa's house. Police officers walked to the house. One of them violently knocked on the door, shouting at the top of his lungs. I darted to the house, Ms. Mason is still chasing me, but I am too fast for her. I made it to the house and the officers opened the unlocked door. I darted to the front door, officers nearby saw me and attempted to get me. I am too fast and I spilled into the house. Two officers were in the living room and whirled around to see me with their guns drawn.

My heart was thundering with fear. The authorities will never stop making me paranoid. I feared that I would be shot. I swallowed my fear and anxiety and played my part. "My Mommy...mommy...is in the laundry room….." I gasped.

One officer that is tall and skinny ordered me to go outside. I obeyed and I hurried outside.

Alyssa's body was discovered quickly, another officer carried Alyona out of the house. Alyona was alert and was sobbing her eyes out. Me and Alyona was placed into a police car and driven away from the crime scene. I grabbed Alyona's clammy hand for comfort. I saw her disheveled expression. She was baffled and terrified. She was pale as snow and was trembling like a leaf in a hurricane. I wrapped my arms around her, I rocked her back and forth gently. My voice was gentle and compassionate. "Everything will be fine. I promise." I whispered into her ear. Alyona burst into tears. She was hysterical. "What happened? I….I...was sleeping, then…...the police….." She wept heavily. I stroked her hair gingerly. "Calm down, Alyona. Calm down. I am here." I reassured her.

Alyona is not comforted. The officer never uttered a word to us, I believe he was listening to our conservation. "Why is this happening? What happened?" Alyona demanded urgently. In her most lowest moment, Alyona became bold and serious. She did not want love and comfort, she wanted answers to her questions.

I spoke to her in Russian. "Alyssa was murdered by a man she brought home. I found her dead in the laundry room." I had to make sure I was sorrowful. I squeezed her hand tightly as if I was distraught and unraveling. "She was stabbed. She was killed." Alyona's lips quivered with horror, she burst out into broken sobs. She was a empathic soul. "No! Not Alyssa! Why?" She wailed in her native language. I embraced the child lovingly. I felt odd hugging her at that moment. Ironically she was hugging one of the most dangerous person in her life.

I found myself being questioned again. I sat in the questioning room, sitting across a detective in a confined room. I pretended to be sad, but I made sure I was articulate and obedient.

I gave them my story. I was looking for Alyssa, (My Mommy) and I discovered that she was stabbed to death in the laundry room. Simple enough story. I told them about the mysterious man and how he was very drunk.

That man, I would later learn, was named Seth Pinkman was a suspect immediately. He was reportedly detained upon the officers seeing the knife and blood splattered on him.

Again, I got off scot free. Me and Alyona found ourselves at Saint Amorettes once again. I frowned upon seeing the Orphanage of forgotten souls. My clothes and dresses were returned to me a few days later. I was now back at square one once again. I learned what happened to Seth Pinkman. He was blackout drunk so he had no memory of what happened on that fateful day. It helped my case that he had a record of domestic violence charges prior this incident. Apparently Alyssa met him in a bar on the night before she was murdered. Alyssa brought him with promises of a one night stand, but Seth was heavily intoxicated by the time he arrived to her house.

Since he had Alyssa's blood on him, no alibi, the murder weapon, and a suspicious criminal history, I successfully managed to frame Seth for murder.

I hated how I was at the Orphanage again. I felt trapped. Hopelessness filled me. I was greeted kindly by the Sisters. Me and Alyona were given words of comfort and compassion. Alyona was touched, but I was indifferent.

Alyona finally managed to get a dorm with me and I was happy about being with my beloved daughter. I was brewing with frustration and anxiety, I sought out the affections of my daughter. I grabbed her cold wrist to bring her into our safe haven, the art room. "Let's go paint." I forced my voice to be cheerful and childish. But Alyona yanked her hand away and refused to look me in the eyes. "No." She said urgently. "I want to be alone!" I felt my heart crack. I felt rejection at this moment. "Alyona…." I whispered, I attempted to grab my daughter's wrist again. But Alyona was not having it. "No! Leave me alone!" She gave me a scornful glare and jerked away from me. She ran off before I could say another word. Tears of dejection rolled down my cheeks instantly.

But at this point, I am overwhelmed with emotions. I isolated myself in my empty new dorm. I felt all of my pent up emotions boiling inside of me. My mind went blank and my body became stiff. I worried about my future. Everything seemed so bleak. I dropped to my knees, bursting into tears. I slammed my fists onto the floor violently.

I was at the end of my rope. Mercedes is eight. She will always be a small child. I can't be here for years and years. I will never change. My weight doesn't change. My height doesn't change. My dreams, goals, and ambitions will never change. I looked at my surroundings. All I see are walls and walls. I felt imprisoned. I had no life here. I had no other choices!

I yanked my hair violently, sobbing heavily to myself. "WHY? IS IT SO HARD?" I wailed hysterically. I felt great annoyance upon hearing the joyful and innocent laughter of the children meandering in the corridors. I was just ready to explode at this point. I discovered a couple of barbie dolls under another girl's bed. I snatched them up and in a fit of anger, I began to violently tear them apart. "STUPID PIECES OF SHIT!" I barked. I tossed them to the floor irefully.

I bawled out my eyes for several minutes. I felt nothing but misery. I wiped away my tears. It was best for me to not be alone with my thoughts. I walked into the corridor. Alyona popped into my mind.

I guess you're wondering why I didn't immediately try to kill or hurt Alyona like I did Trinity? Well even I don't even know. I felt rejection at that moment, but I wasn't angry at her.

The truth is that I truly do love and cherish Alyona. The only reason why I don't see myself harming this child is because my love for her is infinite.

In my mind, she is my flesh and blood. Alyona is my daughter. She is my only friend in this world. I know that is depressing coming from a grown woman such as myself. But it is the truth. Alyona is someone I value and treasure with all of my heart. I understood that Alyona desired space. She was a small child trying to comprehend how her adoptive Mother was brutally murdered. So I respected her wishes and left her alone.

I wandered around the Orphanage by myself. I forced cheerful thoughts to seep its way into my cynical psyche. I imagined my handsome and loving husband cherishing and loving me. I fantasized my beautiful and luxurious wedding. I saw myself in a glamorous wedding dress that was long and flowy. My hair is curled and wavy. I imagined my beautiful, not modified face. I imagined myself of if I was not deformed. I imagined how I would look if I was normal. I was slender and curvy, my face was womanly and I was beautiful in every way possible. I was a real woman.

A small little girl ran to me and my lovely husband. The little girl is ebullient and happy, she leaped into my arms jovially. I spun her around and buried her in maternal kisses.

I smiled upon thinking about that. I smiled ear to ear. "That's what I want." I whispered to myself.

Next chapter will come soon. Reviews and thoughts.