Authors Note: Thanks for the review and other support you showed for this story. I'm really happy about everything. And I know this Authors Note is long but please finish reading it, there is something personal in there that I'd like you to understand to help others.
It is partly about the reviews I'm recently getting from one of my guest reviewers. He or she never wrote a name so I can't say it but one of them wrote 7 reviews for chapter three where I pointed out that I have dyslexia in my Authors note. I'm sorry for them but writing the wrong word and how to spell it right doesn't help me fix it because to be frank, I won't find it again without looking for ages for it and I have work and a family including a disabled father who can't even eat his breakfast without help never mind go to the bathroom without help and my mother can't do everything on her own and needs my help for a lot of things that have to do with it so I can't fix those things. I assume you want to help me improve my spelling and such am grateful for that but let me tell you and everyone else now, it's pointless. I had really extensive tutoring as in two hours five days a week for over five years. During that time, I managed to get from not being able to spell my own name at the end of first grade to the point where people at least knew what I wrote in two languages and being able to read and more importantly correctly understand most of what I read in two languages. After that I pretty much got fed up with fighting so had to improve and still be called lazy by halve my teachers because of my many spelling mistakes or because I didn't read a question in a test right and being called unfocused for reading wrong just because I had trouble in that too while I was probably more focused then most knowing how easy I made such mistakes but I STILL made them. For years, I had stories like I write now in my head but never dared to put them to paper because I knew people would tell me I'm stupid, tell my I'm too lazy to try and fix my mistakes while rereading them even after doing just that a few times. Personally, I don't give a rats ass about it anymore. I was deducted points all through school in every class but math because of my bad spelling in the tests but I was still above average and still called stupid. If I were, I wouldn't be able to be above average in everything but spelling when I LOSE points for spellings in everything else too. But I'm 31 years now. I'm at an age where I learned to be strong and proud of not only being able to read a question in a text at all which I couldn't even after my second year in school and write an answer that at least can be understood no matter the mistakes. I still try to improve somewhat but I don't fight as hard anymore since I think I reached a state where I can be proud of what I've achieved and live a little. I can even write whole stories in my second language, when just over 20 years ago I couldn't write a sentence that anyone could have understood in my first one. But as I said, I didn't used to be that way though. Please when writing such reviews where you correct things, do keep in mind that some online here might be at the point where they dare to write something for the first or second time after such an experience. Even if the first few don't get many mistakes point out but a later one suddenly does a lot might give up again possibly forever. If you really want to help those, don't write anonymously. Give them a way to reply to you personally and make sure to first praise them for the story itself and offer to either fix the spelling for them or mark a corrected word in a copied paragraph and never more than one mistake per chapter and if you read a completed story, just one mistake per story. A person with dyslexia won't be able to memories many corrections no matter how well you explain them. It will just disgorge most of them. To a point it still discourages me and I have to actively remind myself that I'm not bad in writing in general or I wouldn't have that many followers and you probably wouldn't take the time to read it. StEmpois also corrected two mistakes but one per chapter and wrote that a nice story like mine shouldn't have mistakes in them which eases the blow but even getting two mistakes pointed out within less than an hour can be discouraging to someone who was constantly called stupid for those for all their school years. If you like a writers over all stories, don't point out too many mistakes or you might end up loosing said Authors and some might not even finish the stories. Like I said, I'm past that point and you don't have to worry with me but working in a school and seeing another child struggle through what I've been through reminded me on how awful it can make one feel and how much they'll need encouragement so I just wanted to take this chance to ask all of my readers to try and help those people that suffer like I had from dyslexia. Now I'd like to thank everyone who read through my rant and let those that actually did me the favour to read it get to the story that I presume a lot of you skipped towards from the start.
Shadow phoenix
Chapter 8
Learning
Severus prepares breakfast for the two of them in private and once done, he walks quietly into his son's room to wake him up. The Phoenix is gone and he wakes his son before asking him, "How did you sleep my little Harry?"
"Great," Harry grins, "I had some strange dreams though. But I think I know how they mean to teach me!"
"And how would that be?" Severus questions wondering if it has anything to do with the dreams.
"They show me memories. I saw some of his last night. Mostly of spells he learned but other things too. I think I could wield a sword now." Harry grins, "I'm just not sure if I'm strong enough to actually hold it up. He was much stronger then me even before he first turned into a Phoenix. But he was older then I'm now."
"How old was he?" Severus questions wondering about that since Harry had been extremely young but after the fairy tale he thought it to be normal for a Phoenix animagus.
"He was 16." Harry says, "And I know that he was the last of them all to turn and not only the oldest when he turned so he's the youngest, or was until I came. He thinks of me like a little brother and hopes that I'll prank Fawkes with him some time. Godric doesn't like his big brother Fawkes, he's too stuck-up."
Severus smiles a little, glad that neither seem to see Harry like a son and leave that position to him. "And will you do that?"
"No." Harry says, "I don't like pranking, but I like his ideas, they are funny. And he knows a lot of spells that he said were forgotten. He told me to tell you that the nails on my talons can also be cut and if turned into a powder, they can be used as a cure too, he said you need to know because of things Fawkes had heard Dumbledore mumble about. He is worried that I'll be in danger if you don't learn to use it. But Godric sucked in potions so he can't teach me. He just knows that his friend Salazar used his for potions."
"If it's for you I will figure it out." Severus says, "Maybe you can turn right now and let me cut them and ask your Phoenix friends to let me do the same, that way I get more and can do more experiments to find out."
"He said there is a book but he doesn't know where his friend hid it." Harry says, "But he'll look for it."
"That is good to know." Severus replies, "But I'm sure I'll figure it out. Just ask him if there is anything else he remembers."
"I'll do that when he's back tonight. He said he'll be teaching me for a few days, which also means you can try and get your revenge on him and then Li comes, followed by Fawkes and then the first, that way they'll come backwards from time because the others will all know older magic than he does." Harry says, "He knows the older ones too but learning first hand is better than second hand they think. Also, he can't do the kind of magic the first does but they think I can."
"And why do they think that?" Severus asks.
"Because magically he's the weakest of them. And when he first turned he was 16, the others were younger. Fawkes was 14, I know the fairy tale said otherwise but he lied to those Egyptians he flashed to because he wanted to brag. Li was 12 and is more powerful then Fawkes, the first one is the most powerful though and she doesn't know how old she was because humans didn't count time the way we do now but from what she knows about us now and how we look at different ages and what she could do when she first turned they assume she was about 8 give or take a year. She is currently the most powerful and that's why she can do the kind of magic she can. It seems like the younger they change the stronger they are." Harry grins, "And even though she's not sure about her age, she does know that I was younger."
Severus sighs, "At least that means you'll know how to protect yourself when Voldemort comes back. Just promise me to still be careful."
"I swear." Harry says and gives him a hug. "I promise that I'll be very careful."
"Good." Severus says "You did have me worried yesterday, first with the troll and then disappearing on me like that."
"Next time I'll tell you." Harry promises and both hug again.
"And before I forget, you're grounded for sneaking out after curfew and disobeying a direct order from your headmaster." Severus orders, mostly to make sure that he'll notice if the Phoenixes teachings will exhaust him more over time, "You may leave for classes and be in the library until dinner to study even if your friends are around but you are to come back here right after dinner for a week. Understood?"
"Understood." Harry grins rather happy about it. He had missed being around his dad most of the time and still didn't sleep well in his dorm and on occasion had sneaked into his old room just to flash back to dorm before anyone knew he was gone.
"Good," Severus replies, "Now off to class, you know that your potions Professor will be extremely unhappy should you be late for his class."
"I know." Harry says cheekily, "But I know that he's not even on his way and I'm way faster anyway." After that he flashes to a secret passageway the twins had shown him last year and from there it doesn't take long to get to his dorm and grab his school supplies before he flashes from the empty room towards another secret passageway. Just this one he found himself flying around as Felix once. He exits it right behind Draco who is on his way to potions. "Hey Dray." Harry cheers and hugs the taller boy. "Missed me?"
"The name is Draco." Draco grumbles, "And I certainly didn't miss you calling me Dray."
Harry just chuckles a little and says, "By the way, I'm grounded and have to be at my dad's rooms after dinner but I'm free to go to the library after class until dinner starts. Want to go with me after our last class?"
"Sure, why not." Draco asks. "Why are you grounded?"
"For disobeying a direct order from our Headmaster and for sneaking out of my room after curfew." Harry says, "I hope you realise that it's your fault I sneaked out?"
"Sure," Draco shrugs, "And we both know that you're not really upset so quit whining about it."
Harry just grins while Ron and Hermione run up to them from behind. "Harry, we need to talk to you," they eye Draco before adding, "Later."
"I'm in the library with Draco." Harry replies, "You can join and don't worry about Draco. I know you barely get along but he's cool."
"Does he know." Hermione asks, "That secret?"
"I know all his secrets thank you very much." Draco grumbles, "As I pointed out before, I'm his BEST friend."
Harry just rolls his eyes saying, "I couldn't control it as well as now when I was little so he kind of noticed."
"You would have told me anyway, right?" Draco questions in a threatening voice.
"Of course." Harry says pacifying the blond, "I wanted to tell you all along."
"You better." Draco grumbles.
"But we should go, dad will be pissed if we're late." Harry says, "Or rather Professor Snape will be pissed and you know, I love my dad but when he's in Professor mode, he's downright scary."
"I agree on that." Ron replies, "Neville is starting to get nightmares I think."
They all enter the room with about 2 minutes to spare before Professor Snape elegantly and threateningly as always glides into the room starting the lesson right away and instantly silencing the room in the process.
Harry is, as always, glad that he's been in this class room so many times as Felix that he knows most of his dad's lessons by heart now and can follow easily due to that. He doesn't have his dad's talents, or his mother's as Severus pointed out often, apparently she had some talent too. Harry can manage well enough to pass without too much effort. But he already knows that he's never going to be able to invent a potion or perfect an existing one. He just doesn't have the patience to try again and again or the knowledge to even get the right ideas.
In his other classes, he is average in the theory stuff since he hasn't sit through every class a few times like he had with his dad but he is still holding back during practical things since he refuses to draw too much attention with the amount of magical power he by now can feel. He's always making sure that at least a third of his classmates succeeded with a spell before he does and makes sure to never outshine the best five at it. He doesn't hold back enough to fall back further though because he fears that his father will get upset if he notices that he's holding back.
Later that day Harry sits with his friends at a table in the library and once they are all there he casts a spell he learned from his Phoenix friend last night that will make it sound to everyone around like they are talking about the texts that are open on the table rather then what they really are talking about. The spell isn't seen when it's cast and he easily casts it without his wand or saying the spell. He grins at Hermione and asks, not even whispering, "What did you want to talk to me about?"
She looks around worriedly and after seeing that no one is paying them attention yet whispers, "Not so loud, I thought this is secret?"
"Knowing Harry, he casted an extremely powerful, advanced and obviously also unnoticed spell for privacy." Draco points out, "He's holding back enough in class to avoid attention and I fear what his dad will say when he notices which won't be long now."
"Don't worry." Harry says, "I never do anything too advanced around him and he isn't exactly chatty, I doubt the other professors will talk to him about me unless I give them a reason and I'm good enough not to."
"So, you did cast a privacy spell?" Hermione asks surprised, "Where did you learn it?"
"Secret." Harry says and sees a frown on Draco's face adding, "And it's not exactly my secret because someone asked me not to give away their secrets so you still know all of my secrets, just not theirs."
Draco frowns at him and asks, "And who are they?"
"That, sadly, is part of the secret but don't worry they let dad know about them and he agrees that learning from them is to my advantage." Harry grins.
"Are you sure?" Hermione asks. "If it's all so secret, shouldn't you at least tell Dumbledore?"
"He knows too." Harry says, "About me being Felix as well."
"Felix?" Hermione says, "You mean you ARE that shadow Phoenix that used to hang around Professor Snape?"
"Obviously or are you daft enough to assume that an extremely rare magical creature and the very same even rarer magical animagus are just there by coincidence?"
"Yeah I'm Felix." Harry adds before Hermione and Draco can start an all-out war and grins, "It's complicated but I came here as Felix and got a name that way and much later told them who I am."
"Did you register with the ministry?" Hermione questions. "I saw you want to keep it secret but you need to Register. McGonagall taught us about the law during our first class with her don't you remember?"
"I do." Harry says, "I also remember that she shook her head a tiny bit towards me when I looked questioningly and since she knows that I'm Felix and why I keep it secret she still believes I shouldn't register."
"And why do you think it is so important that you risk getting in trouble with the LAW?" Hermione questions, "Harry they could throw you into Azkaban or worse, expel you!"
"I guess I'd be out of here when I'm in Azkaban so I fail to see how that could be worse." Harry points out, "But it's both still better then dying. Against popular believes, Voldemort was banished, not killed when I was a baby. He's on the move right now. Trying to get something that is hidden here in this very castle and given halve a chance, he'd kill me." He waits a moment to let that sink in, "Being able to change and flash around and lift heavy objects and all that kind of stuff could save my life unless he knows about it and is prepared for it! And he's got spies everywhere, telling the ministry would be the same as asking that stupid Skeeter woman to keep it quiet!"
"He's around?" Draco questions. "Why?"
"Same reason Fluffy is guarding something in the third floor and considering Fluffy could hurt dad, I bet Hagrid named it." Harry points out. The twins had been down to Hagrid a few times and loved to hear about his pets and Harry had come to like it too but he did fear most of them. He didn't know what Fluffy was, but he assumes it to be at the very least deadly and probably very hungry most of the time.
Draco to shivers, his father had told him a bit about Hagrid's love for dangerous beasts and creatures. "I rather not meet it then."
"But what is it protecting?" Hermione questions. "And why would Voldemort want it?"
"How would I know?" Harry says, "Dad wouldn't tell me. He just told me that much to make sure I'm not getting to curious and try to find out why we aren't supposed to go to the third floor where Fluffy is. He knows I don't usually break rules but it seems he still was afraid I might for some reason."
"Because if you hear others going there you'd go." Draco grumbles pointing towards Hermione, "How else would you explain that annoying thing joining your group of friends? You're MY best friend!"
"Is he always that possessive?" Hermione asks Ron.
"No." Ron replies, "Usually he's way worse, I was already wondering why he didn't whine about it ages ago!"
"I'm not possessive." Draco glowers, "I'm just stating a fact. The fact that Harry IS MY BEST FRIEND. He doesn't need anyone else!"
Harry grins and puts his arms around him before whispering right into his ear, "You're still the only one of my friends that knows that I can flash as a human, and you're the only one I sneak out of to visit during the night."
Draco closes his eyes at the thought of Harry sneaking off during the night just to be with him and not to calm his worries. He wished Harry would do it just to be with him, to lie in his arms saying that he'll sleep better with Draco around to protect him. "It better stay that way." He orders fearing the thought that eventually Harry might sneak off to someone else for just that reason.
Harry just grins while Hermione looks sceptical from one of them to the other before saying, "Whatever," She looks at Draco, "Everyone needs friends and you can never have too many."
"He has me." Draco grumbles, "That is plenty."
Harry just grins and takes his hand saying, "You like Blaise and some of your dorm mates too don't you."
"We get along." Draco replies with a slight blush, "But they're not you."
"And Ron and Hermione aren't you just like you're not them." Harry sighs, "Please Draco, be nice to them both!"
"All right." Draco says, "Just don't look like you did in the train again."
Ron chuckles while Hermione looks confused until Ron says, "His puppy eyes are lethal. Draco and I caved within seconds and became sort of friends just so he'll stop looking like that."
Harry just blushes, "Not true."
Draco just grins and takes his hand while Ron insists that it's true. They talk a little longer until Draco once again has to leave them for dinner, again unhappy about being somewhere else then his Harry and watches him laugh with his friends unhappily.
A few days later Harry has his first match and he's worried even though he's been on a broom so many times, he's never been in a real game before. He walks towards his dad before going to the game and asks, "Dad, I know you don't like me do things with a broom that you think are dangerous, but you'll let me for this, won't you? I just promised not to unless it's a real game and this is one and I want to give it my all."
Severus sighs pulls him into his arms and says, "Just promise me that you'll stay alive no matter what!"
"I promise." Harry says and holds on tight before he runs off to the pitch. He gets ready and listens to the speech of Oliver Wood and all the interruptions from the team members who finish it.
A little later the game starts and Harry floats around trying to spot the snitch when suddenly his broom bucks and moves and he's barely holding on. He can see Draco's scared face look at him from the Slytherin side where he sits with his snake friends. Harry tries to hold on and already decides to just change if he does fall but hears a thrill from the stands, hearing it he knows that the first is there, the oldest of the Phoenixes and he feels her thoughts go to him her memories and knows that he can stop the fall even without turning and exactly how. But he rather not shows that advanced magic either and keeps holding himself on the moving broom.
After a few minutes, he drops from it but can hold on with one hand. He keeps holding on seeing the snitch from this position and cursing his luck that he can't fly to it when his broom finally stops acting up. He pulls himself up using a bit of magic to get the strength to do so and then flies towards the Snitch. The Slytherin seeker follows him and they are nearly there when the snitch goes towards the ground and both seekers are after it. Harry can see from the corner of his eyes that his opponent is getting scared already and eventually pulls out of the dive while Harry just goes faster. In the last second, he pulls up with all his strength and starts to stand on his broom to reach out and jumps, his hand missing it by an inch but he tries to get it into his mouth and manages it before he hits the ground that wasn't far under him anyway. He rolls over it and gets the snitch stuck in his throat. He tries to retch it up and then spits it into his hands before holding it up grinning.
He can see his dad's face and just knows that he's going to complain about getting a heart attack again.
Once he is back in the Gryffindor common room all Gryffindor celebrate but Hermione pulls Harry to the side saying, "I know what was wrong with your broom, I have to tell you alone though."
"Tonight, when everyone sleeps." Harry tells her and wonders what she saw to know that.
He still celebrates the rest of the evening and is glad to get a letter form Draco's owl Archimedes congratulating him and complaining about the bloody Gryffindors locking him up and not sharing with him.
Much later after the party ended he does go down to the common room once all the boys are asleep and looks if Hermione is already waiting there. He's glad when he sees her and says, "Now spill, what do you think made my broom buckle?"
"Professor Snape." She says sounding sad. "I know he's got you convinced that he's caring but I saw it. I read all about hexing an object. You need to keep eye contact and Snape was looking right at you the whole time."
"Did you read that protective hexes needed the same?" Harry asks, "I could have told you that he was focused on me the whole time and mumbling anyway because seeing my broom act up like that would make him try and protect me from whatever or whoever caused it."
"And how do you explain that it stopped when I distracted him by setting his robe on fire?" She asks and after a glare from Harry says, "I had to do something to stop him!"
"He wouldn't harm me." Harry insists, "Whoever did it must have been close by and gotten distracted by seeing his robe on fire, or by Dad trying to get rid of the fire. And he better not been hurt by it. I know you mean well Hermione but it wasn't him."
"Harry I wish there was another explanation and I know it must be hard to accept but you have to see reason and be careful around him." She insists, "He's dangerous and he tried to kill you today."
"If he wanted me dead that badly he could just have let me kill myself when I was five." Harry says "Because at that age I was suicidal and HE is the only reason I'm still alive!" He glares at her, "He is innocent, try to remember who was around him and keep an eye on them. Maybe you'll find out who did. But I swear, my dad would NEVER harm me." After that Harry leaves to go to his bed, closes the bed curtains and flashes to his room to see his dad asking, "Are you hurt?"
"ME?" The man asks shocked while spelling a dressing gown and slippers on his son. "You happily dive towards the ground at a speed that had Albus draw his wand and order his bloody Phoenix to go save you and you ask ME if I'm hurt?"
"I know that someone thought you were cursing my broom and that said person spelled your robe on fire." Harry explains still looking worriedly.
Severus pulls his son into his arms and holds him tight. "It wasn't me Please don't believe that I could ever do that! I was only trying to help you the only way I knew."
Harry smiles at him saying "Honestly dad, you need to quit being so overprotective. I'm a Phoenix. I can fly without a broom just fine. And you know what happened last time I fell somewhere. I flashed to you. Did I ever tell you what I longed for in that moment? I wanted a place where I would be understood and loved. I trust you dad, don't worry about that and next time someone tries to kill me by letting me fall, look around for the culprit. He must have been close to have gotten distracted from you being on fire."
"That my son is easier said than done." Severus grumbles "Even Albus freaked out asking that useless bird to save you."
"She gave me some advice and I don't know why but I heard her all the way over the noise which is handy." Harry replies "She wasn't useless and knows a lot."
Severus sighs "I'm still worried about you. The only people close to me were teachers and maybe two or three parents of the players. I really hope it was one of them. I'd hate to imagine the dangers you could get into if one of the teachers is helping the dark Lord!"
"Don't worry. I'll be careful at all times." Harry grins at him. "Don't worry. I learned a lot of spells from the Phoenixes memories."
"Spells you never practiced." Severus points out "And believe me I know how much practice you need from my colleagues. I'm proud that you have talent and some power but I doubt you'd learn just from some memories."
Harry looks towards the ground "It's not just watching them though." Harry tries to explain "I told you about learning to wield a sword, right? I didn't just see it. I felt it too, over and over like I was doing it. Even now I remember exactly how to move, to balance and to stand to fight off an aggressor with a sword. I sometimes feel my muscles twitch to draw it when I hear a loud bang or someone is casting anything towards me in defence, you know to practice protego. It isn't just memories, it's practice, believe me I can cast those spells easily."
Severus looks sceptical saying "Prove it. I might feel better about leaving you out of my sight once I know you know some good and useful spells."
Harry sighs and draws his wand after taking a few steps back. He focuses on his magic, making sure that most doesn't leave and says in Chinese a spell he learned from Li. The image of a dragon seems to be attacking. Severus covers trying to dodge the dragon's teeth. The image disappears and Harry chuckles. "It's just an illusion dad. Li knows many and a lot to summon dangerous animals. She said snakes are easiest and if I do some illusions opponents never know the difference and a snake might be able to get past them. See, they teach me strategy too."
"At least I know you are somewhat protected." Severus replies not knowing that Harry is capable to summon a real dragon as easily as a fake one. "Now off to bed. It was a long day." Severus says and sends the nightgown and slippers back were they came from.
"Okay." Harry replies and gives his dad another hug "goodnight."
Once back in his bed Harry sees Fawkes and casts a privacy spell he learned that will not only silence everything he or Fawkes say but also ensures that everyone that tries to open the door, or in this case curtains, will get distracted by something and leave him in peace after that he sets a magical alarm before he smiles at Fawkes "Is Li done?"
"For now." Fawkes replies "We all are still keeping things that we consider too soon for your young mind."
"Great. So you guys are overprotective too." Harry grumbles.
"Just protective not overprotective." Fawkes replies "And now sleep so I may begin. I do have other things to do."
Authors Note: Thanks again to those who read the Authors Note at the start of the chapter. Next chapter will be about the rest of his first year. I skip a lot since due to Harry's already rather huge power level some things would go very different like meeting Voldemort in the forest. He'd probably fight him right away rather than stumbling back and I rather not have him fight him than already. You will have to see if I decided to leave out Norbert or not. What will Hermione do now that she believes that Snape might have tried to kill Harry or will she start believing him? And if she does, how will Harry talk her into believing him and what else are the Phoenixes teaching Harry apart from summoning a dragon? And will he ever do that? How will the hunt for the stone go with his abilities? And what about Godric? Will he start flirting again eventually or will he stay in his Phoenix form from now on like they've gotten accustomed to do?
Also daithi4377 wrote "So if Harry is a Phoenix just in human form and the most powerful of them all or will be at maturity how can he still have the horcrux in his head...isn't that what makes his scar hurt when he's around Quirrel?" Well yes he is one which is why it's hurting. Very well noticed and I do have a solution for that but telling would be spoiling everything, now wouldn't it?"