A Fresh Start, Really?

On the ride to April's apartment, all Jackson could do was think about Maggie. He thought about how sexy she looked in that black dress with the red pumps. If given the chance, he would have sexed her down in the attendings lounge. When he kissed her in the parking lot it brought out feelings he tried to bury when he decided to rekindle things with April. He brushed his fingers across his lips and closed his eyes. He found himself becoming angry and jealous. The thought of another man being with Maggie pissed him off. He realized his mother was right. Maggie was not mediocre. She was amazing, talented and beautiful all around.

"Jackson, what do you want to eat?" April asked

"Huh, what was that?" he said.

"What do you want to eat. Are you okay, you seem distracted?"

"No, im fine. How about Chinese. Ask them for extra fortune cookies," as he smiled down at April.

Jackson was trying to distract himself from the thought of Maggie being on a date with another man. He found himself getting annoyed. The thought of someone else's hands and lips exploring her toffee toned skin, holding her hand and being in her space, "uhhhh". He turned on the TV and started watching a soccer game.

April shouted from the kitchen, "It's going to be about an hour. They are busy tonight. I can cook something if that is easier?" Jackson looked at April and said, "we can wait."

She pulled out a bottle of whisky and they talked and drank while waiting for the food. They talked about their relationship and reminisced about the good times. The more he drank, the more he thought about Maggie. He wondered what she was doing.

"Jackson, can I ask you something? You and Maggie had feelings for each other at one point. Did you guys ever...?" April said.

Jackson looked at April with a stunned look on his face." Why are you asking me about Maggie?"

"I saw the way you looked at her. I know that look Jackson. I just wanted to be sure you still didn't have feelings for her."

"I am here with you aren't I. If I did act on it don't you think I would be with her?"

He thought to himself, she would be with me. If I picked her. We would be together having dinner and dessert all night long. She wouldn't be looking all sexy and going out on dates with other men. I would be looking into her eyes and kissing her soft lips.

"Jackson," April shouted. "Can you turn the TV off, you're distracted by the game."

He turned the TV off and said, "Why did you ask me about Maggie?"

"Feeling a little insecure. I used to watch you looking at her when the two of you were together and it has been a long time since I've seen you smile like that."

"We are just friends April."

Trying to end the discussion, he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

The doorbell rang the food was here.

Jackson paid and they ate dinner together. They continued to drink and talk about what life could have been like if they never got a divorce.

As they talked, Jackson started thinking about all the pain he felt after Samuel died and when April left him to help soldiers and him behind to grieve on his own. He thought about how accepting he was and how she continued to take his love and affection for granted. All he wanted was to grieve with his wife. He thought about how his friends were there while she was away. Though he and Maggie were not together then, she was there. They celebrated Christmas together at Karev's house. It was a disaster but the eggnog was good.

He mumbled, "Things would have worked out between us if you never left when you did! I needed you and you left me."

"I don't know how many times I have to say this to you! I had to leave. I felt trapped."

"You felt trapped by me April?!"

"Uh, Jackson, can we not!"

"You felt trapped by me April! Just say that. You continued to make it seem like things were good between us then and they weren't. You wanted a break from me. When you left you broke my heart. Matter of fact, you broke my heart, twice!"

He paused and pushed his chair out.

"Our marriage was full of ultimatums and they were all yours. I went out of my way for you and you couldn't, wouldn't give me an inch. I told you what I wanted and what I needed from you and you did not care."

Jackson got up and went outside. While outside he began thinking about the pain he felt. The rejection and embarrassment. The anger and rage he felt toward her and how it made him hate the person he became. How they were toward one another. How toxic it was. He didn't want to go back to that.

He thought about when he stopped feeling the wreckage he experienced from his relationship with April. When he was able to just let her go and be free from the pain. He thought about Harriet and how she changed his world. She was a ray of sunshine peeking through the dark clouds. Then he thought about Maggie. She was so awkward it was cute. She always knew how to calm him down. He then remembered she was not talking to him. She wanted nothing to do with him.

"I really messed up!" Jackson mumbled.

Feelings of jealousy and anger came back. He clenched his fist in frustration. He decided to go for a walk around the block to cool off.

Once calm, he walked into the house and found April cleaning up. He walked passed her and grabbed another glass of whiskey. He sat on the sofa and thought about what Maggie was doing. Robert's hands all over her body. Touching her in ways that he could not. Her lips kissing his. Her tongue in his mouth. Her pulling him into her for kisses.

"Jackson, I am sorry I hurt you. I want us to learn from our past so we don't make the same mistakes. I am happy we got it all out. I think we should just move forward from here. Fresh start!"

"I really can't do this right now April. I have to go. I have surgery in the morning. I will see you tomorrow." He kissed her on the cheek and left.

When he got home, he collapsed on his sofa. His mind was all over the place. The thought of Maggie being with someone else just didn't sit well. He didn't like the idea of her not talking to him or wanting to have anything to do with him. It was driving him crazy. Things with April were not good at all. He couldn't forget. He forgave her, he just couldn't forget. Why did I go back? I don't want to fix this… it's beyond repair he thought. "But Harriet."

He pulled out his phone and sent a text to Maggie.

...

Maggie got home and walked into the living room. She thought about her date and how amazing it was. Robert was so nice and funny too. She smiled and then heard her phone chime. Thinking it might be the hospital she pulled it out of her purse and checked. "Jackson" she whispered.

J: Maggie. How are you? We need to talk.

M: Is it an emergency at the hospital?

J: No, but I need to see you.

M: Then we have nothing to discuss. Have a good night Dr. Avery.

Maggie tossed her phone back into her bag and let out a loud sigh.

Meredith and Amelia came out of the kitchen.

Amelia said, "It was that bad?"

"No, no," she said, shaking her head. "I had such a great time. We are going to go out again!"

Meredith and Amelia both waited to hear about what happened in the attendings lounge with Jackson. They both tilted their heads waiting to see if she would say anything.

"Maggie?"

"Yes Amelia"

"We saw Jackson walk into the attendings lounge as we were walking out. What happen? Don't say nothing because the way you were looking there is no way he was not going to say something."

Annoyed, Maggie said "I really don't want to talk about it. I just want to have a night with no drama. I want to tell you about Robert."

"Ok Maggie. I have my ways of finding out", Meredith hinted.

"Come on. Can we just talk about my date with Robert and how great it was?" Maggie was avoiding her sisters because she didn't want to cry. She didn't want to think about Jackson. She did not want to think about what happened in the parking lot. When he kissed her there was passion, dominance, comfort and heat. His kiss and touch sent an electric shock through her body. She didn't want to have to explain to her sisters that she still had feelings for him. She wanted to stay on the surface, where she had all the control.

Maggie heard her phone buzz again… She ignored it and continued talking to her sisters. Then it started ringing. She let out a loud grunt, "What does he want?"

What does who want? Meredith said, looking over at Amelia.

It's nothing. She said as she pulled out her phone.

It's Alex…

"Hello?"

"Maggie patient took a turn and coded. Need you to come to the hospital."

"Okay Karev, I'm on my way."

"Gotta go ladies!" Maggie took her heels off and put on some flats, threw on a cardigan, grabbed her purse and ran out of the house.

…

Jackson sat on the sofa holding his phone. Staring at the text message from Maggie. He threw his phone out of frustration across the room and and covered his face with one of the throw pillows, "Damn it"

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