Second Thoughts

Maggie had been on a couple of dates with Robert. She really enjoyed his company and looked forward to seeing him. Jackson on the other hand she avoided like the plague. She did no surgeries with him. If he was on the case, she would assign someone else. She avoided being alone in the attendings lounge. Him and April continued to work things out. They were constantly arguing. He looked unhappy. He began to isolate, he became angrier and short tempered.

"Maggie, Dr. Pierce"

"Dr. Kepner, you need me"

"Yes! Jackson needs you in trauma room one. There is a patient in there with an open chest wound."

"Okay. I will send someone down to check it out."

"You're already here can you please just do it so we can get him into surgery. It's an emergency. Please Dr. Pierce."

"Okay," Maggie said as she walked toward the trauma room.

When Maggie walked into trauma room one, Jackson was surprised to see her. His eyes could not leave her. April walked in right behind her and he put his head down. He felt Maggie when she had to squeeze pass him to get the patient, he could smell her perfume and when he felt her body pressed against his, it sent shock waves throughout his body. He closed his eyes and imagined the last time he held her in his arms. It was the same day April ambushed him in the storage closet. He and Maggie were making out in the closet. They made plans to have dinner at his place and dessert all night. It was the day Richard and Catherine caught them. Jackson let out a laugh as he thought about their reaction and Maggie saying "Good luck with your vagina."

"Are you okay Jackson", April asked.

"I'm fine. I was just thinking about something that happened a while ago."

Maggie kept her head down while she worked on the patient. She told Parker what test to order. She examined the chest wound and saw that the patient needed to be in an OR immediately. She told Parker to book a OR and told them to prep the patient for surgery.

"Will you guys be joining?"

"Yes, April responded."

Jackson looked up," Yes."

Maggie then left the room. She paged Dr. Ryan and told him to go to OR 3. She sent him the chart and told him the patient was on his way to the OR.

While Jackson and April were at the sink scrubbing, Dr. Ryan walked in.

"Is this the patient?"

Jackson looked up. "Yes. Where is Dr. Pierce?"

"She paged me and told me to come to OR 3. She sent me the chart so I am familiar with the case."

With a disappointing voice Jackson responded, "Ok".

The three of them performed the surgery and the patient was brought to the cardiac ICU.

Walking through the cardiac unit, Jackson walked by Maggie's lab. He saw her working on her rechargeable hearts. He watched her from the window. He was hurting. He couldn't understand why she was avoiding him. Why can't we just be the way we used to be? I was there for her when her mother died, he thought. I was her comfort during those times when she just needed to talk. His gaze softened and he became very sad. Then he heard a voice calling his name…

"Jackson, are you okay?"

It was Meredith. She walked over and stood next to him.

"What are we looking at?"

He continued to stare at Maggie

"This is considered stalking Jackson"

"How is she Grey? I know you know everything because she talks to you."

"She's okay. She is keeping herself busy and has moved on. She is still seeing Robert and they have become very close. On the outside she is happy. I know she is having a hard time though. I can hear her crying sometimes. She has pictures of her mother scattered all over her bed. She is still grieving. This is new for her. She has never lost anyone. Diane always said she was sunshine and after she died Maggie would experience darkness… This is darkness. She is trying her best were around, it was a bit easier but now she is trying to manage it on her own. We are there for her but you made her feel safe. She felt safe enough to let loose and knew you would be there for her no matter what."

When he heard that his heart sunk. "It was real Grey. I was not expecting to fall for Maggie Pierce. She is not like any other woman I know. She made me feel something I never knew I could feel. I need her Grey. I really need her. She was my comfort. She was what I needed after a rough couple of years of misery. As silly as she was, I enjoyed my moments with her. She made me laugh and she also challenged me. It was healthy and pure. She would never lie to me and she never kept anything from me. I really appreciated her honesty. I want her to be with me."

"So why are you with April?"

"Because I need to try for Harriet."

"Jackson, just because you have kids with her doesn't mean you have to be together. Do you love April? Do you want to be with April? Have things changed or settled back to the way they use to be?"

"It is so hard Grey. I want Harriet to have what I didn't have. I want her to have both parents."

"You and April are able to co-parent. You do an amazing job with Harriet. She loves the both of you and spends time with both of you. She can have two parents who love and respect each other as friends. You shouldn't have to continue to suffer to be in a relationship that brings you pain especially if you are in love with someone else."

"Jackson you are my friend but Maggie is my sister. I will not allow you to come into her life and hurt her again. You need to decide what you want. Maggie is Beautiful, she is brilliant, she is special and anyone who gets to be with her is lucky!"

Meredith yelled at him as she walked away. "I will always protect her!"

From a distance April watched Jackson. She tilted her head wondering what he was looking at and what he was talking to Meredith about. She walked over to Jackson.

"What's going on? What was that about with Meredith?"

Jackson continued to stare at Maggie and did not respond. She yelled "Jackson?"

He looked at her… and walks away.

"Jackson what is going on with you?"

"April I cannot talk about this right now."

"Why Jackson. Are you having second thoughts about us being together? I thought we were going to try again. I am not going to let you walk away from me again. We need to do this for Harriet."

Jackson looked at April and walked away.

…

Once he was calm, Jackson walked passed Maggie's lab hoping to catch a glimpse of her. When he didn't see her, he headed down to the cafeteria to grab lunch. When he walked in, he saw Maggie sitting with Robert. Their eyes met for a second and she turned her attention back to Robert. As he watched them interact, he thought about how much he missed being around her. Her dry jokes that made him laugh uncontrollably and how excited she got when she talked about her research. A feeling of sadness came over him. They were friends and their friendship was so innocent until April said something to her about him having feelings for her. He didn't think he did, but he did and he still did. How can she just move on so quickly. Maggie smiled and laughed while holding Robert's hand. She looked so happy and it was clear that she was really into Robert.

Annoyed and frustrated, Jackson got up and left the cafeteria. On his way down the hall he saw April. He grabbed her hand and went into an on-call room. She was excited. He finally wanted to have sex after many months of waiting. She took her scrub top off and pushed him against the wall. Jackson was in another world. His mind was racing and all he could think about was Maggie. He was frustrated. April kissed his neck and made her way down to his chest and then his stomach. She then reached down, pulled out his length and began to stroke it. She wrapped her lips around him, taking him fully into her mouth. Jackson tilted his head back and moaned out "Oh Maggie."

"What Jackson?" April said.

"Why did you stop April?" staring down at her.

"Because you just called me Maggie"

"No, I didn't," he said scratching his head.

"Yes you did, I know what I heard Jackson."

"April you are hearing things."

"Jackson I know what I heard and you called me Maggie."

"You know what April, forget it. Forget this."

Jackson pulled up his pants, looked at April and walked out of the on-call room. As he walked down the hall, he thought about what had just happened but didn't remember calling out Maggie's name. What is wrong with me he thought. When he looked toward the elevator, he saw Maggie standing alone.

"Maggie, I mean Dr. Pierce."

"Hi Dr. Avery, what can I help you with?"

"I really miss you Maggie," he whispered.

Maggie looked at him and said, "let it go Jackson. Just let me go. If not for you do it for Harriet. That's who you are doing this for, right." She turned and walked away.

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