The room she woke in was pitch black and thrumming. Suzu squeezed her eyes shut tight, trying to stop the throbbing in her head. She can't remember how she got here or where here was.
Pushing out a bit of chakra to get a sense of where she was had her doubling over, hot white pain building beneath her eyes. Gasping for breath, she pulled at the collar of her shirt, willing her throat to open.
It took minuets—hours—for the pain to subside enough for her to think. She was a shivering, sweaty mess on the floor, the dark pressing against her lids.
She learned quickly in the dark.
The room was four-feet by four-feet. Harriet's cupboard under the stairs was larger. There was no position in which Suzu could stand upright or stretch out.
She's too tall in this new body of hers. There was a single cot, with a thin scratchy blanket and no pillow.
In the darkness, she unraveled.
Suzu was eleven, the same age she was when she went to Hogwarts.
She stole.
Lied.
She has already killed.
Broken a man's spine.
Tore one's throat.
Used a killing curse.
She didn't know how many.
In the darkness, Harriet withered.
Even her memories of this life, once bright in her mind, turned fuzzy. She couldn't remember the pink-haired woman's name. Nor the small child that frequented her dreams.
Her name disappeared in the dark.
Suzu woke up in the middle of the night screaming. A short and shrill scream, lasting only a second before being cut off. It was enough to wake Sakura up. She startled awake, breathing heavily as she stared at the blank ceiling above her.
"Tell her to shut up," her inner voice said, still infused with sleep. Sakura felt a clawed hand of despair crawling up her spine. She should go out there. But she knew Suzu too well and the sight of Sakura will just fill her with shame.
Instead, Sakura lay in her bed and listened as Suzu moved around the house, the light in the hallway turning on. She counted her breathes, willing her sister's ghosts to go away.
It was a long while before the light flickered off. Suzu's steps didn't make their way back to her room. The sound of a window opening and closing in the living room echoed through the house
"She's running away," Inner whispered in the depths of her mind.
"No, she's not." Sakura said aloud. Suzu was a lot of things, but a coward she was not. She'd never run away, no matter what demons chased her at night.
Sakura turned over in her bed, running her chakra through her system until her eyes grew heavy.
Sakura woke again up to the smell of bitter herbs and something sharp and cool, mint maybe. Following the smell to the kitchen, she watched Suzu repeatedly press the button on the blender. The thick, green liquid inside did nothing. Sakura sighed, walking over, and gently pushing Suzu out of the way.
"You have to be gentle, stupid."
"Sakura-chan," Suzu greeted in surprise. Her sister was decked out in her seldom-worn jounin outfit, though her normal boots are on her feet rather than the standard-shinobi sandals. Around her waist is a light blue apron with the image of a bunny plaster over the front.
"Are you going on a mission?"
"No. I figured you and I could have a morning training session before you meet up with your team."
"Are you alright?" she asked. Suzu shifted beside her, smile falling briefly, before her face turned upward, mask falling into place. Sakura wondered if a day would come where she too has a mask, pale and blank, radiating a calm that hid the storm beneath.
That's not the world she wanted.
She thought of Suzu again.
Of the shaking limbs she hid, the bloodied clothes Sakura found in the trash, how her eyes grow dim and for a moment it was as if she was lost.
Sakura thought, that if this world was not one that she could bear, she would make herself a new one
"I'm fine, Sakura-chan. I'm sorry about last night," Suzu said, refusing to meet her eyes. Her spine was curved under the weight of her own shame.
"Don't be sorry," Sakura said loudly, snapping her sister out of her thoughts. It'd be easier if she could fight nightmares. Then she could pummel them to the ground until the earth cracked. She fiddled with the buttons on the blender, pressing hard enough that one of them gets stuck.
"Oh, you fixed it," Suzu said. Sakura rolled her eyes, handing her the drink and leaving to go get dressed.
Sakura ducked away from the punch, sending an uppercut towards Suzu's face as she does. Her sister dodged, shifting her body away with a flexibility that she was jealous of. Circling each other like a pair of caged cats, Suzu smiled at her.
Sakura scowled, striking out at the opening by her ribs. Suzu captured her hand, shifting her elbow downward to hold tight as she swept Sakura's feet out from under her.
Sakura hooked her legs around her sister's knee, using her other hand to pull a fist full of hair. Letting out an enraged yelp, Suzu quickly let her go. Sakura readied herself, putting her fists up before her, as her sister moved to strike again.
She blocked the first hit, but Suzu's other fist met her rib in quick succession. Sakura tried to keep up with the barrage of punches and kicks, but eventually backed away, falling into a defensive position.
"This isn't fair," she called out, as Suzu issued a strike to the back of her knee. Forced into a kneel, she glared up at her sister's teasing smile. Sakura latched onto Suzu's thighs, forcing her onto the floor. Clambering up her body, not to be thrown off by Suzu's inane wiggling, she sat on her sister's stomach.
"You're not even trying," Sakura said, pulling out a kunai. The Suzu below her smiles and popped into a cloud of flower petals.
Where Suzu was flexible and quick, waiting to outlast her opponent, Sakura went for the punch. She's strong where her sister was quick. Fighting her was a dance, albeit a controlled one where Suzu always seemed to have the advantage. But there were moments where Sakura tripped her sister up from the force of her blows and the sheer stubbornness of her fighting.
Sakura hated losing, Inner hated it even more shouting at her to stand whenever she fell, to move when she stumbled.
Sakura stood, scrambling to look around for her sister. An invisible hand pulled at her shirt, issuing a sharp slap to her wrist.
"Invisibility is cheating," Sakura called out.
Suzu had a flare for dramatics, pulling magic and chakra into the fight as if it was normal. Most of the time, Sakura can't tell which was ninjutsu and which was magic. Other than the conjuring, which most people excuse as some secret jutsu her sister developed, Suzu was careful to never use spells that were obvious. Most of the elemental spells could be excused as elemental ninjutsu.
Sakura knew that she was careful to never use obvious hexes and jinxes when she was on a team mission but, it still didn't stop the worry that someone will see. Magic was too deeply ingrained for Suzu to stop using it all together.
The sudden movement of a couple of flower petals to her right had her sharply focusing.
"Get her," Inner shouted. And even though, she knows that Suzu was playing around, Sakura lunged, tackling the air. She hit something solid and hard, pushing down a laughing Suzu.
An all-out brawl started on the floor, fistfuls of tangled hair, shrieks of laughter, and dodging blows. Sakura pushed a bit of chakra into her hand, trying to get Suzu to hold still and accidentally hit her across the face.
"Ow," Suzu shouted, as Sakura's punch catches her across the jaw. "What the hell? How do you even hit that hard? You're like ten."
"12," Sakura deadpanned. But then at the watery eyes of her sister, something she was sure was only to gain sympathy and not out of any real pain, Sakura deflated. Suzu rubbed at her jaw, conjuring a mirror in front of her to look at the blooming red across her face. It would bruise and that Suzu would let it so that she can moan and groan about it all day.
"Here you can hit me back," Sakura offered. She grinned at the spiteful look Suzu sent her way. Inner cheered at her victory.
"I've been practicing supplementing my natural strength with chakra," she admitted, after a while.
"What?" Suzu looked away from the mirror, capturing her gaze with wild eyes. "Are you crazy? You could rip your muscles apart like that.
"I read about it in a book. One of those medical journals you have lying around," Sakura said.
"Sakura, I don't care if the Hokage himself told you how to do it. Practicing a technique like that without supervision is dangerous. You could have died."
"I didn't think—"
"I won't yell at you for wanting to learn something new. But you can't do it alone. Next time ask me, and if I don't know how to do it. I'll find someone who does." Suzu declared, heatedly. Sakura nodded swallowing back the guilt she felt at the look of fear on her sister's face.
She hadn't thought it was that big of a deal but, the blank mask that takes over Suzu's face has her thinking otherwise.
The Jounin Command office was a bustling hub in the center of the village. Though it was non-descript on the outside, housing a hot-pot restaurant on the first floor, inside it was the center of operations for the village. Kakashi seldom entered the building. ANBU HQ was on the outskirts of town, fitting for a place meant to operate in the shadows. Jounin didn't really deal in the day-to-day missions. They got assigned when the village needed them, but that was usually taken care by the Hokage.
Shikaku barely looked up as he wandered into his office. "Hatake-san, who let you in?"
"The door was open," Kakashi said, pointing to the office door. He made no mention of the fact that he used his clearance to get past the first barriers of admin-nin. Shikaku didn't look like he believed him in the slightest which was smart.
"Ah, why are you here?"
The question gave Kakashi a moment of startling clarity that maybe he's gone insane. What can he say? I'm here to discuss Haruno Suzuran? It's not that he cared about Suzuran. What he cared about is the fact that people are hiding things about her. Her sister, the Hokage, and Naruto to some extent. Minato-sensei knew her as well.
He didn't understand all the secrecy and he wasn't used to being the one kept in the dark.
"I wanted to ask about the recent mission roster," he lied.
"Sit down, Hatake-san." Kakashi was not one to let people get away with honorifics or the last-name game but, Shikaku wasn't someone to cross. Not to mention the man could kill if he wanted to. Sometimes it was easier to let the bigger fish pass you by.
Patting himself on the back for his genius infiltration skill, Kakashi threw himself in the seat. He had to be careful. As much of a genius as he was, Shikaku was probably ten steps ahead of him and most likely already knows why he's here.
"How is your genin team?" asked Shikaku.
"First one to pass," he declared brightly.
"I wonder whose fault that is. And Sakura-chan? Is she getting along with the boys?"
"Sakura-chan?"
"Don't pretend that you've come in here to make small talk. You're about as subtle as your mask is."
Kakashi opened his mouth to reply but, a heated glare from the Nara head shut it just as quickly. Shikaku stood walking around his desk to peer into the hallway.
"Ensui. Is she still there?" He called into the hall. A resounding thump could be heard from down the hall and a high-pitched yell. What sounded like a small fight ensued, the sound of two kunai clashing echoing through the hall.
"Yes. She. Is." Ensui called back. Ensui shunshined into the office, a pouting Suzuran in his arms. A tear across Ensui's shirt was the only sign of his struggle.
"Oh, Hatake-san. What are you doing here?" Suzu-san asked.
Her hair was wet and matted to her forehead. The soft scent of peaches mixed with iron and the oils used to keep blades from rusting rose in the air as she shifted her hair on her head. A senbon goes in it and held her hair in place. Though he'd seen the color on Sakura, something about seeing it in an adult woman looked less real.
"Mission roster." He responded. She eyed him for a moment.
"In Shikaku's office? Aren't you meant to be training Team 7?"
At his nod, she shrugged, turning away from him and toward Shikaku, bowing shortly. Shikaku let out a long, low sigh causing her to straighten up.
"What's up, boss?" she asked innocently.
Shikaku-san nodded in his direction giving her a look that clearly said, "Deal with it or I will." Kakashi didn't know whether to be offended or proud of the fact that he'd gotten that look from every one of his superiors.
"What?" she asked, tilting her head.
Shikaku glared. "Suzu."
"Fine. Kakashi-san follow me. I'll show you the mission roster." Her words are downright cold and he had the feeling that she could probably kill him and get away with it.
"Actually, we might as well get a good meal out of this," she said, leading him down the hall. The walk out of the Jounin Command office was silent and stiff with tension.
"What is it?" she asked, as they cross the street.
"You've given Sakura extra training," he said, following her into the small restaurant on the street corner. The smell of grilled fish hit his nose, smoky and sharp. He followed Suzuran to a small table in back where a waiter came by without question, placing an array of vegetables, fresh squid, shrimp, salmon, and other sides before them. He disappeared once Suzuran nods. A spark from her fingers and the pit is light, the fire bright and hot.
Kakashi was slightly overwhelmed, not knowing what to do as he waited for a response. Suzuran seemed to enjoy his fidgeting, glancing at him from underneath her lashes as she placed the fish over the fire.
"Of course, I have. She's my sister," she said, sitting back and looking at him.
"She hid Naruto's chakra. That's not something a twelve-year-old can do."
"You were a jounin at 10. Chakra compression is a basic skill in our field."
"Sakura's not a jounin. She displayed average taijutsu skills and average ninjutsu skills in the academy. Her theoretical knowledge was good but, it was just that, theory. There's nothing in her files about above-average chakra control," said Kakashi bluntly. Her mouth twitched downward.
"First of all, an academy chart is no basis for talent, something I'm sure you're aware of. If it was, people like Maito Gai would have never graduated above genin. And she didn't hide his chakra, she dulled it, masking it with her own. Why are you so concerned about my sister anyway? From what she's told me, it's Sasuke and Naruto that you're worried about."
"She's a part of my team."
"And I'm sure it has nothing to do with the visit you paid the Hokage asking about me." Though he was startled by her knowledge of his visit, he doesn't let it show. This conversation was spinning out of his control, he'd meant to come and apologize for attempting to break into her home. Bringing up her sister was a mistake.
Suzu pulled the fish off the grill, placing some onto the empty plate before him before serving herself.
"You were ANBU," he said, not touching his food. She swallowed the massive bite she's forced into her mouth and nodded.
"Which squad?" asked Kakashi.
She shrugged. "Does it matter? You're not there anymore."
"The Hokage said that you'd been put through reconditioning." His words are sharply cutting. Her body tensed, brow furrowing in anger. He can practically feel the effort she made to keep her hands from shaking.
"Reconditioning? Is that what they're calling it?" She shoved her plate away from her. Bitterness filled her face as her nose curled in disgust.
"It's been known to happen," he said, dully. He'd seen it before, ANBU who lost it after weeks out on missions where nothing, but death followed. ANBU who were found bleeding out in the shared showers, no one sure if it was an enemy or their own misery that had cause their wounds.
"It wasn't T&I," she muttered, her gaze stuck on where his mouth is behind the mask. "You were acquainted with Councilman Danzō briefly. I'm sure you understand what kind of conditioning it was."
His response tongue burned away quick and sharp at the mention. Swallowing hard, he shifted under her heavy gaze, the pieces falling into place.
"You were ROOT."
"No. Danzō tried. He'd seen how proficient I was on the field, but I was a bit of a loose cannon. He thought he could fix me, make me one of his pawns. He almost did but, the Yondaime—look, Hatake-san, reopening my past isn't something I want to do." He jolted at the mention of his Sensei.
"I didn't know," he muttered, softly. Suzu rolled her eyes, seeming fed up with the conversation.
"Most people don't." She waved her hand through the air, turning her attention back to the food. "It's not something I go announcing all over town."
Kakashi frowned. "Why tell me, then?"
"Because my sister's life is in your hands. If it makes you focus on keeping her alive, then I don't mind spilling my secrets," she said, not a hint of a lie in her face. Kakashi was not used to being told the truth. Ninja hoarded secrets, holding them tight, dying to keep them.
Yet, Suzu was willing to give hers up for Sakura. He didn't know what to say and it seemed that Suzu understood that, shifting her burning eyes away from him.
"Come to practice tomorrow," he said. The words fell out of his mouth impulsively but, it seemed like the right thing to say.
"Why should I?"
"She's your sister. The best way to keep her alive is make sure her team is a strong one." Kakashi didn't admit that he's out of his scope and has no real idea what to do.
For once in his life, he felt as if his genius was failing him. What good was it all if he can barely tolerate looking at his students.
Sasuke was too much like him at that age for Kakashi to know what to do.
Sakura was a whole planet away from what he's used to dealing with. He was sure that she'd put up with his training simply out of spite.
And Naruto…Naruto deserved someone better.
"Isn't that your job?"
"It is. I'm not asking you to train them. I'm asking you to watch and tell me if you still believe I'm not the right teacher for her."
It was a small, almost meaningless gesture but, it was the most he can offer. He wasn't used to dealing with families. His had died out too long ago for him to remember what it felt like. But he knew about the urge to protect. The gnawing pit that formed in your stomach, forcing you past your breaking point.
He thought that Sakura is lucky to have a sister like that.
"Okay," she agreed.