AN: Few, finally finished writing this two part monster, hope you enjoy.
Ben wasn't behind him anymore, he wasn't there and he wasn't in the bedroom, or the bathroom. Or on the balcony. "Come on man, you know I didn't mean it. I'm sorry!" He wasn't in the spare room, or on the lounge, or under the bed. He called out to his brother again growing more desperate in his search he looked in the closet and the fridge because, seriously there weren't that many rooms in the apartment and Ben wasn't there but he had to be because Ben couldn't leave him, he wouldn't leave, would he?
He was actually kind of glad in that moment that Anthony didn't like his eyeliner, because even water resistant could only withstand so many tears. "P-please, Ben, don't- don't do this. You know I need you, please, please don't leave me."
He'd swallowed a couple anti-depressants, because loosing Ben sure didn't leave him feeling light and bubbly. Anti-depressants were easy to get -I was thirteen when I lost my first brother, he went out one morning and just never came back. My brother Ben died at seventeen, some nights I wonder how he must have felt as he died, he didn't deserve death, doc, it should have been me. Why wasn't it me?- Easy, so he nearly always had some on him. One or two of Carly's Xanax he'd found under the sink in the bathroom, whoever the hell Carly was. Because Ben was no fucking where so yeah, he was panicking a little, and smoked a joint. In the hour since his brother had seemingly blipped out of existence.
None of which seemed to have helped him in anyway, though he had stopped crying twenty minutes ago. He suspected that was more because he just didn't have the energy anymore than the drugs. Didn't stop his eyes from stinging or his cheeks feeling warm and puffy though. So he found himself curled up on the couch staring at the tv which wasn't even switched on, trying desperately to ignore the fact that he was alone. Like completely alone, for the first time in six years and it was terrifying.
He wanted to swallow the rest of Carly's anxiety tablets and the three party pills, hidden under the insole of his leopard print slip ons. And he wouldn't have to feel guilty cause Ben wasn't there, but he just didn't have the energy to do so right now. He heard the keys in the door, but didn't bother getting up, not even when Anthony tossed his work bag on the bench and stalked into the bed room. Or as the man came back out, clothes tucked in his arm and tapping away at his phone announcing. "Get dressed, we're going out for drinks with the guy's." As he entered the bathroom.
"No thanks." He heaved out with a tired sigh. He didn't want to go anywhere right now.
"What." Anthony's voice travelled back out to the living room.
"I said not tonight. I'm not feeling up to it." He replied, voice strained and perhaps a little more sharper than intended as he felt tears begin to gather in his eyes once more. Because Ben was gone and a cold dread inside of him feared he was never coming back.
His brother was the one ghost he couldn't shake, or at least that's what he'd always thought.
Anthony stepped out of the bath room then, work clothes replaced with dark wash jeans and a silvery shirt, he'd yet to button. His eyes scanned the room before stopping on the balled up young man on the lounge. "What the hell's wrong with you?"
"My brother left, he's gone." Klaus said, turning sad hazel eyes to his boyfriend. He wanted a hug, he needed one.
The man just let out an exaggerated sigh, stepping forward and reaching out an arm as he lent down towards him. Though instead of the hug he'd been hoping for, the other just grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to his feet. "Stop being such a drama queen and go get dressed. I told the guy's we'd meet up at six."
"Fuck the guy's." Klaus snapped pulling his arm from the other's hold. "Ben's gone. I said something horrible to him and now he's gone and I don't even know if he'll come back."
"So what, its not like your family cares that much about you anyway. They rarely ever answer your calls." Anthony scoffed. That stung. He needed support right now and his so called boyfriend couldn't seem to careless.
"Oh! You're not so popular either. Your own family only ever call or drop by when they want something." He spat back, because vibrant, innocuous, fun-loving Klaus was actually quite good at catty.
Anthony's backhand takes him completely by surprise, because while the man could get a little rough at times, he'd never actually hit him before. "He doesn't love you Klaus!" The right side of his jaw stings and he tastes copper as his brother's words echo in his head. "And frankly I don't think even remembers your name." And that's not true cause Anthony's said his name before... He's pretty sure he has.. "I met him at the club behind Bobby's." He always told people where they met when introducing them, but Klaus had always been the one to give his name.
"What's my name?" Before he even realised what he was doing the question had slipped past his busted lip. Because he had been living with this man for three weeks and Ben was wrong. Sure everyone had that acquaints or casual friend that they only saw once in a blue moon who's name sometimes slips their mind. But they had been together for a couple weeks now and Anthony's supposed to love him, so what does that say.
"What?" The man's face scrunched in question.
"I said, what is my name." Klaus pushed, and he knew the tears were gathering in his eyes again because his vision was burring. It was a simple enough question.
"I'm not playing this stupid game." Anthony huffed back, rolling his eyes as he shifted to got back to the bathroom.
"You don't even fucking know it, do you?" He breathed. His hand was shaking and when the man breathed out a condescending "Grow up." His blood set to boil and he swung his own hand out to slap the other, since Anthony was so fond of aggressive behaviour. Nails catching on the other's cheek bone and drawing three raw red line across the skin. His brain too occupied with the emotional turmoil of hurt and anger to even consider the consequences to such an action.
Consequences that came in the form of a sharp pain in the middle of his nose, that spread across his cheeks in a searing burn. That had him stumbling back a step as his vision faded to white for a moment and something warm dripped over his lips and down his chin. And he vaguely made out the sound of his name being shouted in a familiar voice amongst Anthony's furious growls of "Worthless junkie whore."
And before he's even managed to regain his balance, his back hits the wall and there is a hand crushing his windpipe. Through his tear blurred vision he can see Ben and part of him wonders when he came back, but the other part is too busy focusing on the fact that he can't breath and he spent his childhood forced to train for this kind of situation and yet his mind is drawing a complete blank. Both Ben and Anthony a shouting, but he can't make out either over the ringing in his ears and even though its useless and they both know it, Ben tries to pull the man off him. Hands of course gliding uselessly straight through.
He learnt this, he should know it. He was supposed to do something with his arm, arm and something, arm up!... Arm up and... and... Balls! Fuck it. Balls were a man's kryptonite. His knee came up to meet with the other's groin hard, kneeing him a second time in the same spot for good measure even as the grip on his neck faltered. Before shoving the man back as he folded in on himself, sending him toppling, he was darting forwards then, still panicked mind sending him rushing for the nearest door. Slamming it shut and locking it behind him as his legs gave out and he slide to the floor, back against the door and arms wrapped tight around his knees as he sobbed.
Because out of all the places he could have gone, he'd just locked himself in the fucking bathroom. "Stupid. I'm so stupid." He muttered, fisting a hand in his hair.
"No. No you're not." Ben insisted, sitting himself on the tiles in front of his brother, he hated not being able to physically comfort Klaus at times like this.
"I just locked myself in the one room that doesn't have a secondary exit." Klaus pointed out with a watery grin and a sound crossed between a laugh and a sob.
"Not your greatest move." Ben chuckled back just as shaken, "But you didn't exactly have time to plan. It was kind of an act now think later scenario."
"I'm so sorry!" Klaus blurted, working him self up anew and at first Ben wasn't sure what the other was going on about. "I didn't mean what I said earlier, it wasn't fair. I'm sorry. I'd trade places with you in a heart beat if I could. You know that right?" And didn't that just send a stabbing guilt right through his heart.
"No, no Klaus, don't say that. We both said things we didn't mean, I'm not mad. I just needed to cool down a little, we both did, else we'd have ended up like Luther and Diego."
"You just disappeared, dude, I thought you'd left me. I was so scared you were gone for good."
Ben didn't doubt that for a second, but he could never do that to Klaus. He knew how much his brother needed him despite their tiffs, he was the only constant in his brother's life right now. Some days it felt like he was the only thing keeping Klaus together. Though other days it worked the other way around.
"Never, Klaus. I'd never leave you, especially not when you need me here."
Klaus wiped at his face then, smearing the drying blood under his nose across his cheek a little. Unfurling himself as he calmed down a little, twisting a tad to look towards the door behind him, he cautiously asked. "Do you think he's still furious?"
The resounding thud against the door that had the wood rattling at the hinges, answered before Ben could. Both jumping at the sudden onslaught of pounding as Anthony ordered. "Open this door right now you little shit."
"Damn it." Klaus hissed, getting to his feet and crossing the room, standing on the toilet to peer through the long narrow window above. It was narrow but the pane opened fully and he was ninety percent certain he could squeeze through. He could see the fire escape from where he was it didn't look that far away, so he told his brother this. "The fire escape is only a couple meters to the right, I could squeeze through here."
"It's a five story drop, are you insane." Ben hissed back.
"Well do you have a better plan, because I'm not really flooded with options right now." He looked back to his brother sceptically. He really didn't like the way the door was rattling.
Ben looked around the room, eyes lighting up as he spotted the mobile sitting on the counter by the basin. "He left his phone in here." He said pointing to the device. "You can call for help."
Okay, that idea sounded a lot safer, he hopped down from the toilet and snatched the phone from the counter. Retaking his spot on the tiles, lent back against the door, not that it would really do much to stop the other man if he did manage to break the lock, Anthony was a lot stronger and heavier than he was.
"You can't stay in there forever." Anthony growled. Ha, that's what he thought, Klaus had a sink for water and the toilet and Carly's meds, he could stay in here a lot longer than the other probably predicted.
Typing in the only helpful number knew by heart, he held the phone to his ear as it rang.
Ben looked over as a small ironic laugh escaped Klaus' mouth. "Oh dad would just love this. All those tacky posters and time spent teaching us to fight and what did that amount to. In the end I resorted to kicking the guy in the balls, I didn't see that poster hanging in the hallway. And look at me, locked in a bathroom."
"You never were much of a fighter." Ben pointed out.
"Neither were you, yet you were always sent into the worst of it."
"I may not have liked it, but I was ferociously good at it. You've always sucked, yet you never hesitate to jump in when some one you love is in trouble."
"Suck is a little harsh." Klaus pouted, he liked to think he didn't do too bad when he got in a scrap.
Ben let out a sound between a scoff and a chuckle. "Your go to move is jumping on people's back's. I don't ever recall that one being taught in our defence training either."
Klaus had just opened his mouth for a snappy comeback when the line connected through and he let out a hopeful. "Digs!"
The gruff "Excuse me." That followed was certainly not his brother's voice. Okay he wasn't really one to preach seeing as he didn't have a phone himself, but Diego really needed to invest in a mobile. His brother always said it would just intervene in his work, meaning he couldn't chance it ringing while he was prowling around in the dead of night. But really it wasn't very convenient when Klaus was trying to call in emergency situation's such as this.
"Sorry, I'm looking for Diego, is he in?" He clarified, praying his brother was available.
"Just missed him, he rushed out of here five minutes ago." The man replied, heaving an annoyed sigh, "I ain't his damn message machine but I suppose I can pass one on if you need."
"No, no that's fine... Thanks." Klaus let out sigh of his own as he hung up, taking a beep breath as the man pounding -a little quieter thankfully- on the door hissed for him to open the door once more. "What's Vanya's number?" He asked his brother, thankfully Ben was like a walking phone book.
"Vanya?" Ben questioned though he rattled off the number anyway.
"My phone a friend list is kind of limited." Klaus pointed out, tapping his foot as the phone rang only to go straight to message bank. "Gaaah, why does no one answer their freaking phones." He whined as he hung up letting out a long groan and burring his head in his hands as he said. "I can't believe I'm doing this."
Typing in a number he wished he didn't know by heart, he let his head tump back against the door. Whispering, "Please Luther." Under his breath, because if anyone else in that house answered he was pretty sure he'd scream. Okay, mum mightn't be too bad as long as she didn't try and put him on to dear old Reggie.
Ben watched on curiously as the phone rang only three times before someone picked up, and Klaus held his breath. "Number One." His brother answered, because really only family had that number, and he let out the breath he was holding.
"Thank you, thank you." He thanked whatever higher power was out there.
"Klaus is that you?" Luther asked, from the other end.
"Luther I, uh, I need a favour-" He started, but his brother's voice cut through the line again. "Klaus, what's going on? I can hardly hear you over all the thumping in the background."
"I need a favour." He repeated, raising his voice a little, "I've gotten myself into a mess I'm not sure I can get out of alone."
"Is this urgent? Because I can't really talk right now, I'm supposed to be heading out for a mission. It should only take an hour, hour and a half tops. Where are you? I can try and drop by afterwards if you need." Luther explained, and Klaus felt his heart sink.
He should be mad at his brother, he really shouldn't, Reginald had always put Number One on a pedestal and he knew Luther had always been desperate to prove he deserved that place. He still was, despite everyone else having jumped ship as soon as they could. Still he could really use Luther's support and strength right now, and it would be nice to just once come before the mission.
"You know what don't bother. The mission always comes first, right." He hissed back angrily, because screw their father's missions. "What. No, Klaus-" He hung up, because it didn't matter what the other was about to say he'd still come out second best.
The pounding on the door stilled by then and silence filled the room, both just watched the door for a minute or two before Klaus pressed his ear against the wood, asking quietly. "Do you think he gave up? Maybe he's decided to go out with his friends by himself."
His brother just shrugged and they both sat in silence for a couple more minutes of silence, before Klaus whispered. "I haven't heard any movement, maybe he did go out." Ben held out an arm, to stop him as he moved to grab the handle of the door. He then walked over towards the door himself disappearing from view, when his brother didn't reappear after a couple moments Klaus begun to worry. Ben was gone a whole hour last time, the clock on the phone had just ticked over one full minute, and he was just about to try calling for Ben when he popped back into view by the door.
"Definitely still out there, he's on the recliner watching the door and he still looks pissed."
"Brilliant, and I'm down to one dealer and Allison, and unless her powers work over loud speaker I don't think either will be much help." Klaus groaned, stumbling over and flopping down on the toilet, resting his chin in his hands. "Looks like we'll have to wait until he falls asleep."
"Or we could call the guy who works in the lobby downstairs. Pretend you need to speak with Anthony urgently and can't get through to his mobile, so the guy will call him down to the lobby phone." Ben suggested, "I got the number from the sign at the front desk."
They went with that idea, he rang the man who sat behind the desk in the lobby watching sports all night and Ben stepped back into the living area to signal when it was safe to move.
"Officer Luther Pogo, really?" Ben questioned as he told his brother Anthony had left the apartment.
"You said pretend it was an urgent call, what could be more urgent than the police." Klaus shrugged back as he slipped out of the bathroom and into the bedroom to gather his things.
"Hurry up, he'll be back up here as soon as he gets down there and realises no one's on the phone." Ben urged as Klaus riffled through the very back of the closet.
"Hold on, my new pumps cost $100 I'm not leaving them here." Klaus muttered back, pulling the shoe box out with a triumphant cheer, before scooping up a messy pile of his own belongings. Some slipping out of his arms back to the floor, though he didn't seem overly concerned for those left behind. He didn't exactly have time to search for a bag to pack them into.
Ben turned back from his vigil on the door to find his brother pressing a watch to his lips before slipping it into his shoe box. "Klaus, was that his Rolex." He spat in disbelief, though really by now he shouldn't be too surprised by his brother's antics.
"He has two of them, they're probably fake anyway." Klaus pointed out as he struggled to open the window with his hands full. Probably would have been wiser to open his escape route first. "I'm going to be back on the streets with nothing, but some killer pumps and an armful of clothes. I'm going to need money and once I cash this baby in I'll have enough to hire a bed for a week, and still have left overs for essentials."
"Like drugs?" Ben questioned as he followed the other out the window and down the fire escape, stepping over the neon briefs that slipped from his brother's pile.
"Like food and clothes, Anthony tossed half of mine out remember, and no way I'm ever wearing the atrocities he brought me ever again.." His brother was still giving him that look so he huffed out, "Fine, fine and drugs. There I said it happy now."
It wasn't until they had stumbled through the doors of the first bus to come their way that either of them really let themselves relax. "Well that was a roller coaster and a half." Klaus chuckled in relief as he flopped into the seat at the back, dumping his stuff beside him as Ben claimed his other side. "Bet I look like a hot mess after that disaster romance."
"A mess definitely, hot on the other hand is debatable."
Which was Ben for you look like shit. "Gee thanks bro." Klaus slid down the seat a little to rest his head against the back of it. "Remind me to listen to you next time."
"We both know that will never happen." Ben joked, attempting to give a playful elbow to his brother's side. Sometimes he still forgot he couldn't physically touch other's anymore. Klaus just laughed as he lazily rolled his head to look at his brother.
"I hope that wasn't supposed to hurt."
"Shut up." Ben huffed back with a put on pout. Smartass.
"Hey Ben." His Klaus called, voice a tone quieter and with a undertone of something sad lingering below, and Ben turned back to him to find wide watery hazel eyes and a sorrowful smile.
"Yeah?"
"If anyone ever brings up the topic of ex's or past relationships, can we just leave out the scary stuff and say the guy made the most fantastic osso bucco."
Ben gave back a sad smile of his own then. "Sure."